It was a pretty normal, if not slightly boring, day for Bickslow. He was hanging around the guildhall waiting for Evergreen and Freed to show up so their team could leave. Laxus was locked away in his office doing paperwork, or possibly just hiding from everyone, which left Bickslow alone to entertain himself.
He'd spent some time irritating Gajeel, which was always fun, but that got old once Levy showed up and stole the dragon slayer's attention. After that, the Seith Mage found himself sitting next to Lucy, who was also the sole member of her team in the guildhall, and began flirting with her. He knew one of these days she would give in, but he had no idea what he would do when that happened.
Their flirting and shared boredom led to a real conversation, though not about anything important. Lucy noticed one of his totems was chipped, so he told her about the replacement he was working on, which led to a discussion on wood carving. The wood carving led to talking about painting, which somehow turned into a conversation about homemade hair conditioner. Lucy swore by her recipe and even offered to bring Bickslow some to try, which somehow led to them talking about how hungry they both were. None of it made sense to Bickslow as he replayed it in his mind while he watched her walk toward the bar to order food, but he had enjoyed talking to Lucy. She took him more seriously than most people did.
If he hadn't been staring so closely at her ass as it swayed in her mini skirt, he would've missed the hilarious moment when she tripped over absolutely nothing and smacked her head against a table.
"Shit, Cosplayer, you alright?" Bickslow chuckled as he stood up from his seat to check on her. He was a few tables away from where she'd fallen but started moving in her direction when she didn't sit up. After crumpling to the ground, she hadn't moved again.
He quickened his steps until he was kneeling at the unconscious woman's side and then rolled her onto her back. There was a growing purple lump on the right side of her forehead and she still hadn't opened her eyes. Gently shaking her shoulder, Bickslow said, "Lucy, wake up."
When calling her name a few more times didn't get a reaction, Bickslow looked around to see no one helpful nearby. There were a few mages scattered around the open room but no one who could do anything in this situation. Spotting MiraJane in her usual place behind the bar, he called out, "Hey, MIraJane, you know where Wendy is?"
The barmaid looked in Bickslow's direction as she answered, "She and Carla went fishing with Natsu and Happy." She couldn't see Lucy from her vantage point, but Bickslow's concerned expression had MiraJane asking, "Is something wrong?"
"Uh," looking back down at Lucy, Bickslow finally said, "Yeah, I think so. Maybe you should come here?" He had no idea if MiraJane could help, but he didn't think she would be any worse off than him.
Instead of going all the way around, MiraJane hopped over the bar and walked quickly toward Bickslow. Her quick movement drew the attention of many others in the guildhall, even more so when she saw Lucy and exclaimed, "What happened?"
"She tripped and fell, hit her head, and then didn't get up." He was starting to panic a little now. He had very little medical knowledge but he was pretty sure Lucy shouldn't be breathing like she was. It sounded too rapid and shallow. The lump on her head looked worse, too. Speaking to his totems, Bickslow instructed, "Babies, go get Laxus."
Four of them flew up to the second floor to start beating against Laxus' office door, but the fifth totem didn't move. Pipi hovered near Lucy's head and then dipped to nuzzle against the blonde's cheek while repeating some of Bickslow's earlier words. "Cosplayer alright? Wake up, wake up."
"Come here, Pipi." Bickslow directed the totem to land on his shoulder and then silenced the soul trapped inside. He felt a little guilty since Pipi was only worried about her friend, but he didn't want anyone freaking out anymore than they already were. The growing crowd surrounding the unmoving blonde had already begun chattering in hushed whispers.
Laxus jerked the door open to chew Bickslow's ass for irritating him, but the Seith Mage cut off his tirade before it started by speaking to him through all four totems at once, shocking the dragon slayer into silence. "Get down here. Cosplayer's hurt and I don't know what the fuck to do."
"Chill, man. I'm coming." Laxus' annoyance at Bickslow's demand was replaced by unease when he made it halfway down the stairs to see a crowd of their guildmates looking like they were witnessing the scene of a horrific accident. It wasn't long until the whispering became clear to his ears and he realized the entire group was talking about Lucy not moving. As soon as he made out those last words, Laxus jogged over and then pushed his way to the center where he found Bickslow looking panicked next to MiraJane, both of whom were kneeling on opposite sides of Lucy. The bruise on her forehead now looked more like a golf ball than a bruise.
"Shit. That looks bad." Laxus pushed more people out of the way until he could kneel next to Lucy's head. His sensitive ears instantly picked up more than what Bickslow had known. Looking up at Bickslow and then MiraJane, Laxus said, "Why the hell haven't you gotten Wendy here? Lucy's heartbeat sounds off. Something's really wrong with her."
Sounding more panicked than he had yet, Bickslow exclaimed, "I tried! She's off fishing somewhere with Natsu."
Turning to address the onlookers, electricity crackled along Laxus' skin as he snarled at them, "Get the fuck out of here and go find Wendy! Make yourselves useful instead of standing there taking up space." There were shouts of "yes sir!" and "don't hurt us!" as the other Fairy Tail mages fled to do as they were told.
MiraJane put two fingers to Lucy's neck and then said in a hushed tone, "I can't feel her pulse."
All of Bickslow's totems were now lined along his shoulders, vibrating with the intensity of his worry. Throwing his helmet off to the side, Bickslow activated his Figure Eyes to look at Lucy's soul without obstruction. What he saw had him even more panicked. "Laxus," the dragon slayer looked at Bickslow again, surprised to see him openly using his magic but more surprised by how terrified the Seith Mage sounded when he said, "her soul. It's trying to leave her body."
Laxus' eye widened as he leaned down to put his ear against Lucy's chest and then said, "Fuck. Her heart stopped."
"Do something!" Bickslow shouted as he watched Lucy's soul begin to rise.
A vicious growl escaped Laxus as he sat up again and then placed a hand over Lucy's heart. He sent an electrical shock straight into the organ, making it beat a few times, but she still wasn't breathing. Going into emergency 'do whatever the fuck it takes to survive' mode, Laxus started barking orders. "Mira, switch places with me. I'll pump her chest and keep her heart moving. You breathe for her. Bickslow, I don't care what the fuck you have to do to keep her soul from leaving. Just do it. Put it in a chair or something for now."
"That won't work! A living soul needs living energy. If I pull her soul from her body and stick it in an inanimate object, it'll become like one of my babies." He continued staring helplessly at Lucy's soul as it clung to her body weakly, looking like it might float away at any moment.
Laxus was distracted from speaking again when he had to stop chest compressions to send another burst of electricity into Lucy's heart. When it began beating again, he sighed in relief and then said to MiraJane, "Again." After the barmaid plugged Lucy's nose and breathed into her mouth, Laxus resumed the chest compressions.
Bickslow's mind worked quickly through everything he knew about living souls. Only one idea had come to mind. It would be risky. He had no idea what the repercussions would be if he acted on the idea, but it was beginning to look like the alternative was Lucy dying, and that just wasn't acceptable. When her heart stopped a third time and Bickslow was forced to catch her soul as it lifted fully away from her body while Laxus struggled to get her heart beating again, the decision was made for him. He ignored the voice in the back of his mind screaming this was a bad idea and proceeded to pull Lucy's soul into his own.
The shock of their souls joining had Bickslow's head falling back to stare sightlessly toward the ceiling as the rest of his body went still. He gasped loudly at the feeling of unnatural fullness, drawing the attention of the other two mages to him. Somehow, he felt more than saw MiraJane reaching for him as she called his name. Before she could touch him, Bickslow said in a detached sounding tone, "Don't touch me. I don't know what will happen. I'm holding her soul in mine until her body can be healed."
"What the hell…" Laxus muttered and then turned his attention to keeping the rhythm of chest compressions steady. He had to keep Lucy's body alive long enough for Wendy to arrive and fix whatever the hell was wrong with her.
Bickslow nearly lost control over Lucy's soul for a moment when his babies drifted free of their totems and the now lifeless wood clattered to the floor. With his magic fully focused on keeping the blonde's soul trapped within his, he'd let go of the other souls he maintained control of. Whispering to the souls, he said, "Don't go anywhere, babies. I'll put you back in a little bit." He could see them drifting listlessly above him as they waited. Seeing this brought him a sense of relief, since somewhere deep down he sometimes doubted whether or not they truly wanted to stay with him.
He did his best to ignore Laxus and MiraJane's intermittent conversation as they worked together on Lucy's body. The slightest bit of distraction could lead to something disastrous, like their souls merging fully or her soul slipping free to move on to the afterlife. Either one of those would be an irreparable outcome. He had to clamp down on his curious thoughts of whether their souls merging together would mean she was possessing him or he was possessing her, because wayward thoughts like that were useless for now.
When he started to feel and remember things that weren't his own emotions or memories, Bickslow no longer struggled to stay focused. All his attention was now captivated by Lucy's soul. He had no idea a person could feel such love for the people who had wronged them, or that she was as wholly committed to her spirits as he was to his babies. The memories of her childhood neglect had tears rolling uncontrollably from the corners of Bickslow's eyes. He didn't bother wiping them away as the view of the ceiling above was replaced with the sight of her mother's final breath, her father's angry face, the tiny flaw in the wallpaper she'd found after being locked in her room for three days, and so many other traumatizing moments. He saw the jobs she went on with her team and how passionately she loved each of them. Memory after memory passed by of battles and arguments and team bonding nights, of the day she realized she was most definitely not in love with Natsu, or the time she made Erza cry by insisting they really were sisters.
He wanted to make it stop, to stop witnessing such intimate thoughts and emotions, but he couldn't. The innermost parts of Lucy continued playing out in his mind, shared with him by her soul in the most unfiltered of ways. A soul didn't construct the same barriers as a mind, so everything was there, laid bare for him to witness in a way no one but the soul's owner ever should. He felt slightly guilty for the intrusion, but he mostly felt awe for the amazing soul of Lucy Heartfilia. He had stolen glances at it before, thinking it was a beautiful as she was, but he had no idea just how perfect it truly was.
The sound of Laxus' voice pulled Bickslow back to his surroundings. He let his chin drop down slowly as his glowing eyes processed the information around him. The souls before him were shining brightly, and it took him a moment to realize there were more than there had been before. Wendy was there, and Natsu. And Happy and Carla, plus a whole lot of other people he was trying to ignore before they distracted him too much.
"Put it back, Bix." Laxus' calm but forcefully spoken words finally permeated the fog of Bickslow's brain. He looked down to see Lucy's body breathing on its own and the bruise completely gone from her head. It looked like she was sleeping. Wasn't she just dead? He was so confused. Reality was playing before his eyes but his mind was stuck in a haze of Lucy's memories as they became his.
"Put it back." He finally repeated dazedly. He had to put Lucy's soul back into her body, but how? He didn't know, and he liked having her soul. It shone so brightly and felt so warm. He wanted to keep it. No, that wasn't right. He had to put it back. It wasn't his to keep.
He looked down at her chest where her soul would normally shine like a tiny sun and focused on separating the bits of her that were stuck in him. When he felt like he'd finished, he pulled her soul free of his own and pushed it into her body, but it didn't look the same. Its usually bright, golden hue was tainted by bits of green, the color of his soul.
Blinking as he released the magic in his eyes, Bickslow slumped a bit as he said, "It's done. She should wake up soon."
Taking Laxus' extended hand, Bickslow pulled himself up to his feet and wobbled a bit before standing firm. "You good, man?" Laxus asked.
Nodding, Bickslow looked around for his helmet as he said, "Yeah. Just used a lot of magic." Spotting the helmet a little ways off under a table, Bickslow walked in that direction to pick it up and then plopped down onto the bench. His babies floated over to him, reminding him he needed to put them back in their totems. Not needing to use much magic for that since the souls were ready and willing, he had his totems stacked up on the table next to him within a few seconds.
His eyes kept drifting back over to where he knew Lucy was still lying on the ground, though her body was now fully blocked from view by tables. Laxus had forced all the gawkers to go somewhere else, threatening a few of them with his lightning, so the only ones still there were Natsu, Wendy, and their exceeds. Since they were all still hovering worriedly, he assumed the blonde still hadn't woken up. He hoped she did soon or Natsu would have the entire guildhall burning.
He couldn't keep his mind off of her. He had just learned so many things so fast and his brain was still working on processing it all, but one part stuck out to him the most. She didn't mind his company as much as he thought she did, which explained why she often sought him out before he went looking for her. He kept pushing the thought away, knowing it was wrong of him to know something she was intentionally keeping secret, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. Did it matter, though? There was a reason she kept it a secret – another thing he didn't want to think about too hard because it bothered him.
"Luce!" Natsu's shout pulled Bickslow's attention back to their huddle on the floor. The Seith Mage suddenly felt like he'd been reenergized and he jumped to his feet to walk back to where the group was now sharing a hug. Natsu had Lucy wrapped up tightly with Wendy flung over both of them and Happy hovering over their heads crying while Carla patted Wendy's back reassuringly. "Lucy!" The youngest dragon slayer cried, "You're alive!"
"I am?" Lucy's voice sounded small and confused.
"Yeah, you're fine, Luce." Natsu rubbed the back of her head gently as she leaned into him and returned the hug. After a few seconds, Lucy asked, "Where's Bickslow?"
"Why? Is he the one who did this to you?" Natsu's skin suddenly became unbearably hot where Lucy's face was pressed against his chest. She pushed against him to sit up fully as she said, "No. It wasn't his fault. I'm pretty sure he saved me."
Lucy leaned to look around Natsu until she spotted him. "Bixy."
It wasn't unusual for her to call him Bixy, but the way she said it this time made him uncomfortable. She'd never said it like that before. "Hey, Cosplayer." He shoved his helmet back onto his head as he attempted normalcy. "You look a lot better now than you did with that giant knot on your face. It kinda took away from the whole beautiful lady thing you've got going on."
Ignoring that entirely, Lucy asked, "What did you do? I can feel you."
"Uh, well – " He trailed off, not sure how to explain. Her feeling him was really bad. He thought maybe this would be a one-way thing, which would give him time to figure out how to undo it, but he'd been wrong.
Natsu hopped to his feet, ready to fight as he demanded, "What's she talking about? What'd you do?" Seeing Lucy's lifeless body for a second time was just too much for him to handle. He needed to let out from pent up energy. It had been bad enough watching her future-self die, but this time it was his Lucy he watched die over and over again. It felt like an eternity passed as Wendy worked on healing the damage inside Lucy's skull while Laxus and MiraJane kept her alive. Twice he'd heard her heart stop before it finally started beating on its own.
Bickslow took a hesitant step back as he scrambled to think of what to say. He couldn't just outright say he'd possessed Lucy's soul, accidentally merging pieces of his own with it before shoving it back into her body. Right? Yeah, he definitely couldn't say any of that. It just sounded too bad, even if it was the truth.
He was saved from explaining anything when Lucy stood up and grabbed the back of Natsu's vest with one hand as she slapped the back of his head with the other. "Don't be an idiot, Natsu. He didn't do anything bad." Bickslow disagreed completely but kept that to himself. Lucy went on, "I'm fine. I tripped and fell into a table, at least I think it was a table. Nobody did anything to me."
Flipping to amused as quickly as he'd gotten angry, Natsu turned around to laugh at Lucy, "So, you tripped and fell so hard that you almost died? Seriously, Luce?"
"Wow, Lucy!" Happy joined in, "No wonder you lose every fight!"
Rolling her eyes as they laughed, she said, "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Why don't you two be my heroes and go get me some water?"
"Sure. Wouldn't want you to fall again on your way to the bar." Natsu walked away with Happy, finally giving Lucy a moment alone with Bickslow.
Her expression turned serious as she looked at him. He was clearly nervous, making her wonder exactly what he'd done. "What happened?"
Bickslow shifted in an uncharacteristic show of hesitancy before finally answering. "Wendy was nowhere around and you were in bad shape. Laxus and MiraJane kept your body alive and I kept your soul alive."
"Ok?" When he didn't elaborate, she asked directly, "How?"
"I, uh, held it within my soul."
That sounded weird. Lucy barely managed to keep that comment behind her teeth. She didn't want to hurt Bickslow's feelings when he'd obviously done something amazing, but she couldn't help feeling unsettled. Something just wasn't right, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She'd always had a bit of a crush on the Seith Mage but what she was feeling now didn't make sense. It was way too intense.
She eyed him, suddenly realizing his tongue had remained inside his mouth throughout the duration of the short conversation – a first as far as their interactions went – and noticed he still looked extremely uncomfortable. Deciding to just come out and say it, she asked, "Do you feel it too?"
His eyes widened enough that it was noticeable to her even through the visor of his helmet. "Feel what, exactly?"
"Me." Lucy didn't know how else to describe it. She felt like he was inside her somehow, so she assumed it was the same for him.
In another uncharacteristic move, Bickslow cleared his throat before saying, "Yeah, but it should fade with time. Just a side effect of the soul hugging thing."
He was lying. She could see it clearly, but she let it go. Partially because he looked ready to explode from nerves but also because calling out the lie would be pointless. He obviously didn't know how to undo this or he would've done it already, that much she was sure of. Bickslow was a good person beneath all the teasing – a characteristic she had no doubts on now that she could feel him, or whatever this was.
She could hear Natsu heading back in their direction since he was still loudly making fun of her, so she said to Bickslow, "I'm going to have Natsu walk me home. I think I need to lie down a while. Probably because of the whole dying thing." She gave him a weak smile and then hugged him, which wouldn't have been at all out of the ordinary, but this hug was different.
As soon as their arms circled one another, they both shared a sense of coming home. It was like finding something beloved that had been lost for years. The sensation was overwhelming enough to keep both of them holding on longer and tighter than they normally would have. The hug lasted long enough that Natsu made it over to the pair and said, "What are you two doing? Get your pervy hands off my partner."
They separated and the sensation of perfect unity ended abruptly, leaving them both staring at each other in shock.
Lucy forced herself to speak. "Thanks for everything, Bixy." Turning to Natsu, she took the glass of water from his hand as she said, "Walk me home? I don't feel so good."
"Sure, Luce." He answered while watching Bickslow warily. Something weird was going on and he didn't like it.
Bickslow watched them walk back to the bar to return the glass and then out the doors. He could feel the pieces of his soul getting further away from him, which was really disturbing. Noticing Laxus approaching, Bickslow suddenly realized he'd been staring at the doors for way too long.
When Laxus was near enough to speak quietly, he asked, "What the hell was that about?" He had been listening to the entire conversation without shame. If his teammates were in trouble, Laxus always wanted to know about it.
"I don't know." Bickslow called his babies back to him from where they still sat stacked on a table. He'd left them there throughout the conversation with Lucy to avoid them saying anything he didn't want her hearing. Seeing the look on Laxus' face, Bickslow knew he needed to explain things before the dragon slayer got pissy. Sighing, he said, "Holding her soul with mine got us all mixed up. I don't know if I could ever fully separate our souls without one or both of us dying in the process."
"Well, damn." Laxus answered unhelpfully. After a moment, he said, "Good luck with that", and then went back to his office.
A/N: Just throwing this out there to see where it lands. This idea has been rattling around in my head for years and I just got around to writing it out today. I may come back to this and change things a bit as I work out where I want the next chapter to go. If that happens, I'll put a note in the beginning of chapter two so everyone knows. Leave a review to let me know what you think!