Hunger had Bickslow prying his hand free of Lucy's tight grip. His stomach had started growling a few minutes earlier and he was pretty sure his body would start shriveling if he didn't find something to eat soon. The small breakfast his team, with the exception of Laxus, had shared before boarding the train that morning felt like it had happened days ago. Now that evening was falling and nothing exciting was happening, he was starting to really feel all those foodless hours.

Finally, free of the blonde's deceptively strong hand, Bickslow raided her kitchen. He was surprised to find grapes and cheese, one of his favorite snacks, and felt only slightly guilty when he proceeded to eat all the grapes. Next time he went to the grocers, he would replace what he took, or maybe he could convince her to move their slumber party over to his place and then return the favor by giving all his grapes to her.

His inner ramblings were cut short when the sound of harsh breathing cut through the silence. The package of crackers he'd just opened lay forgotten on the counter as he rushed to Lucy's bed. She had been fine the entire time he'd been lying next to her but now she was clearly trapped in a nightmare. He hadn't expected her to condition to worsen so quickly.

Kneeling over her, he shook one shoulder gently, but she didn't stir at all. He grabbed both of her shoulders to shake her a little more roughly as he said, "Wake up."

Lucy shot upright, nearly knocking their heads together. Bickslow wasn't prepared for the wild punch she threw and barely managed to lean away in time. When she kept trying to fight him off, he wrapped his arms around her tightly to pin her against his chest, but being trapped only made Lucy's panic worsen. She started kicking her legs while trying to shove free of him as she screamed, "Stop, daddy! It was an accident!"

He did his best to sound calm and reassuring as he said, "Lucy, you're safe. Everything is ok. You can relax."

Reality crashed down around Lucy as the sensation of Bickslow's soul encompassing hers added a warmth to her being that starkly contrasted the dark depravity of what she'd just witnessed. Her thoughts were still tangled in the memory, making it hard for her to figure out what to say. So many thoughts warred in her mind as she struggled to separate from his memory. Unable to do anything else, she simply leaned into his chest and cried. The overwhelming terror she felt, not only her own but also what Bickslow had felt during the moment the memory had actually taken place, left her trembling in his arms. When she felt calm enough to speak, her voice was broken by stuttered breaths as she said, "I'm sorry I tried to hit you. I was so scared," a deep, ragged breath shook her entire body before she whispered, "and you look just like him."

"Who?" Bickslow asked, but the answer was there before he'd even finished speaking the single word. "You mean my father."

Lucy nodded against his chest, still quivering slightly. He hugged her a little tighter, not only to comfort her but also to comfort himself as he said. "Tell me what you saw."

She took another shaky breath before saying, "He tried to kill you."

Bickslow squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to fight off one of the worst memories of his life. The only solace he could find was the knowledge that Lucy had now witnessed the worst of everything his memories had to offer. Though, that also meant she had seen the only memory he had that was worse than the day his father tried to end his life. Needing to know for certain, he said, "Since you saw that, I'm assuming you also saw what happened to my sister."

When Lucy didn't respond right away, he had his answer. Another few seconds passed before she said, "I did, but I don't really understand what happened."

His arms fell away, unable to stay in close, physical contact while thinking about anything related to his sister. The guilt and overwhelming self-hatred he'd worked to overcome for years was suddenly alive in his chest, making it hard for him to remain sitting on Lucy's bed while knowing he would now have to talk about what happened.

Getting the idea that he needed some space, Lucy sat upright and wiped at her eyes, doing her best to keep her gaze averted from Bickslow's as she said, "I've been wanting to ask you about it, but there wasn't a good time."

"Let's get it over with." Bickslow dejected tone had guilt stifling Lucy's response. She looked over at him to find his eyes squeezed shut with a faint glow illuminating his eyelids. Unable to resist the need to comfort him, especially now that she understood better than ever why he hid his eyes, she reached a hand up to gently cup his cheek as she said, "Bixy, you don't have to hide from me."

He turned his face away from her hand and kept his eyes shut as he said, "I'm not hiding. My emotions can trigger my magic – but I guess you already know that."

She cupped his cheeks in both hands as she insisted, "Bickslow, look at me." When he didn't respond or open his eyes, she ran her thumbs gently across his eyelids as she said softly, "I'm not scared, even knowing what I do."

"You should be." His eyes slowly opened to meet hers. When she didn't flinch away from the glow, he felt a mix of relief and dread. Seeing more evidence of her caring nature only made him fall further into the pit of emotions he was beginning to feel for her. "I wouldn't blame you if you ran away screaming for your teammates to come save you."

She smiled softly at him as her thumbs stroked softly beneath his eyes before letting her hands fall back into her lap. "I don't need any of them to protect me."

His entire body seemed to sag as he exhaled heavily before saying, "Tell me what you know and I'll explain whatever doesn't make sense."

It was Lucy's turn to look away as she thought over the details of his memory, feeling a ghost of the emotions that had threatened to suffocate her the day before. She leaned into his side with her head resting against his shoulder and hugged his arm for comfort. This time, he didn't pull away from her touch, drawing on the comfort he felt from her soul as he too relived the day his sister died. Lucy said, "Her name was Piper, right?"

"Yeah." The word sounded choked and Lucy didn't need to look up at his face to know he was fighting off tears. She had her own tears pooling in her eyes as she thought of how to explain what she'd seen in the nightmarish memory.

"The two of you had been playing near a small creek somewhere close to your house. I don't know many details before what happened because the memory started when the boys your age showed up. There were five of them. Two of them held you still while another one kept forcing your head under the water." Lucy's voice trailed off as she fought against the desire to stop speaking and let the memory fade away from her mind, but she knew she had to continue. "One boy held Piper still while another forced her to watch what the others were doing to you. They were trying to force her to show her magic, I think?"

His voice sounded hollow as he said, "They wanted to see if she was a 'freak' like me."

Lucy hugged his arm a little tighter as she heard the voices of the kids in Bickslow's memory as they taunted him and his little sister. Her voice was hardly more than a whisper when she went on, "She was so small and the one boy just kept hitting her. I felt what you did in that moment – the despair and rage and helplessness. I felt the explosion of your magic as you lost control over it. I could see their souls glowing so brightly, and then their souls were gone. All three of them were on the ground and the boys who had been holding you were running away."

Bickslow's body was stiff by the time she finished speaking. When he spoke, the tone of his voice was so detached and emotionless that Lucy wouldn't have recognized it as belonging to the playful man she knew. "That's how it happened." After a brief silence, he asked, "What did you want to ask?"

Lucy chewed her lip as she thought over everything she knew from the memory, trying to sort it out and make sense of it. She started to speak and then stopped, unsure of how to even word her questions. Finally, she said, "When you lose control of your magic, you can accidentally pull someone's soul completely out of their body, which basically kills them?"

"Yes." Bickslow paused before going on as he took a moment to compose himself. "That's why I started wearing something to cover my eyes. I don't need to keep my eyes covered anymore, but it makes other people more comfortable. It doesn't matter to anyone that I've only ever done it accidentally once. I'm still a soul ripping freak who should be feared."

The implications of what he said had her mind buzzing with more questions, but she ignored those for now. Those questions would likely be pointless because she suspected she would eventually witness the non-accidental times he pulled a soul from someone. Attempting to stay on course to get the answers she wanted, she said, "I guess that explains what happened to their souls, but I got the impression Piper's soul didn't move on."

"She didn't. She still hasn't." His words had Lucy lifting her head up to look at him in surprise, and then twisting around to look at his lap where one of his totems had just landed. She recognized the face carved into the wood, making her ask in shock, "Pipi?"

Bickslow nodded and then relaxed his hold over the soul inhabiting the totem. Pipi rose from his thigh to hover in front of Lucy's face and then began spinning quickly while shouting, "Cosplayer alright! Daddy's sad. Give daddy a hug."

Lucy's mouth was hanging open as she looked at Bickslow, finding him staring at the totem with glowing eyes. His voice was a whisper as he said, "She never left me, but her soul has been fading. She'll move on soon."

"Oh, Bixy, I'm so sorry." Lucy leaned into him again as she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. He didn't return the gesture, only continued staring at the bobbing totem as it chattered excitedly. Dropping down to nudge Bickslow's arm, Pipi said, "Hug Cosplayer. She's sad."

He did as the soul of his sister demanded, wrapping both arms around Lucy to hold her tightly against him. Now that the shock was wearing off, he noticed again how it felt to have her close to him. Their souls were intertwined, something he could feel as easily now as he had seen it earlier. He turned his head to rest his cheek against his hair as he said, "You're the only person who knows what happened besides Laxus, and he only knows because he found me a few days after I escaped from my father."

"You two have known each other a long time."

"I was nine years old when everything happened. What you saw with my father was about a week after what happened to Piper. He'd been out of town and then found out when he got home." He didn't bother with filling in every detail since Lucy likely saw it, or at least enough to figure out what that week of waiting for his father had been like.

Lucy wanted to tell him what happened wasn't his fault but she knew those words would fall on deaf ears. He had to know on some level that it wasn't his fault, though she doubted he believed it. Tragedies like what happened to Bickslow's sister were all too common in a world where children sometimes manifested a magic too strong to be properly controlled. Instead of saying anything, she just hugged him a little tighter. When he did the same, she thought maybe he understood what she was trying to say without words.

After a moment, Lucy asked, "Who are the other souls?"

"Just wandering souls I've picked up over the years. No one I knew personally." Bickslow released his hold over the other four totems, allowing them to join Pipi in hovering near his and Lucy's heads. He watched them zipping around and chattering to one another, then as they started talking to Lucy.

She was still hugging him tightly when Pepe landed on her head and started spinning in her hair while saying, "Cosplayer is daddy's girlfriend!"

"No, she's not!" Popo objected, knocking Pepe off Lucy's head to land in the same place.

Pupu flew into Lucy's line of vision before saying, "You can be my girlfriend."

All the other totems started laughing, making Lucy ask Bickslow, "What have you been teaching them?"

He silenced the totems again and returned them to their place stacked on the floor as he said, "Don't blame me. That was all them. I didn't teach them any of that. Each soul retains character traits of who they were while alive, so they're all unique. When I let them have free rein like that, they can get a little wild."

"I had no idea your babies had so much personality." When he only hummed in response, Lucy decided it was time for a subject change. "How long was I asleep?"

Bickslow glanced over at her alarm clock before answering. "Less than an hour."

She slumped more heavily into him as she groaned, "No wonder I'm still so tired. I don't think I've slept longer than that without waking since this happened. Well, except for this morning, but that hardly counts as sleeping."

"Sorry, Cosplayer. This one was my bad. You seemed like you were sleeping fine, so I got up to find something to eat."

Lucy flopped back to lay against her pillows as she said, "I'm kind of hungry, too. Maybe if we eat something now, I can convince you to stay in bed with me for a few hours."

She wasn't sure how he'd respond since he had been acting strangely, so she was relieved when he moved to lay alongside her as he said, "I'd love to stay in bed with you for a few hours, but I think what I have in mind will not help you feel more rested. Though, afterwards you'll probably be tired enough to sleep for days."

"I'm sure you'd wear me out." She answered with a wink, making him laugh with his tongue hanging out.

She scooted closer to lay on her side with her body pressed against his, knowing she was playing with fire but also not wanting to be anywhere else. Bickslow propped his head up on one hand and wrapped his other arm around her back to hold her against him as he slid his hand along the exposed skin of her back. His fingers gliding softly on her skin had her humming in relaxation before saying, "I feel a lot better than I did earlier. Still really tired but I don't feel like something is sucking the life out of me anymore. I guess being near you really is helping, so you'll be stuck with me until I'm better."

"You won't hear me complaining about that." His tone became decidedly suggestive, and Lucy knew without needing to ask that Bickslow used sex as a coping mechanism as much as for casual fun. The problem she was facing now was that she also wanted some comfort. Lucy knew if she didn't move soon, the feeling of his body against hers and the growing interest she had in him would lead to her doing things she'd regret later.

Using every ounce of self-control in her body, Lucy sat up and crawled over Bickslow to get out of her bed as she said, "I'm going to find some food."

She had barely stood upright when Virgo suddenly appeared in front of her, startling Lucy badly enough to screech in shock. "Virgo! Stop doing that!"

As if she hadn't nearly startled her key holder into cardiac arrest, Virgo bowed as she asked, "Punishment, Princess?"

Rolling her eyes at the spirit, Lucy said, "Ya know, I might actually say yes one of these days if you keep scaring me like that."

Virgo smiled in a way that made Lucy immediately regret her words. The maid spirit's eyes were nearly sparkling with anticipation as she said, "Challenge accepted."

Shaking her head, Lucy let out an exasperated huff before asking, "Why are you here?"

"Big brother said you and your bedmate need supervision."

"If only that were true," Bickslow said with a dramatic sigh as he stood up to throw an arm across Lucy's shoulders. He knew she needed to stay in physical contact with him, or at least that's what he told himself was the reason he didn't want to stop touching her.

Ignoring Bickslow, Lucy asked irritably, "If that's what Loke thinks, why didn't he come himself?"

"He's on a date here in Earthland." Virgo's expression turned to one full of mischief as she added, "He says he's getting lucky tonight but you're not, unless it's with him."

Dropping her face into her hands, Lucy groaned, "Ugh, you're all crazy. Every single person I know is just crazy." Looking back up at Virgo, she forced the maid's gate closed as she said, "Bye, Virgo."

Bickslow laughed as he pulled Lucy toward her kitchen as he said, "Let's get something to eat so you can sleep."

He stood behind her with his arms around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder as she opened the door of her refrigerator. While eying its contents, she absently wondered if he was suddenly affectionate because he was left reeling from the heaviness of what they'd just talked about. She was also not really feeling like herself as she struggled with the knowledge of what Bickslow had gone through. Usually she wouldn't be comfortable with someone hanging onto her like he was, but nothing about his touch in that moment felt sensual. Instead, she got the impression he was relying on the comfort provided by their merged souls as much as she was. Not willing to stray back into emotional territory, she chose to ignore all of that for now as she said, "There's enough here for a meal, which is probably only because Natsu didn't feel like cooking."

"Give me the chicken and I'll start it if you'll do the veggies." He finally released his hold on her to take the package of chicken from her outstretched hand, and then realized the evidence of his earlier snacking was still on the counter.

Seeing the same thing moments after him, Lucy looked from the opened package of crackers to the carcass of her grapes. "You ate all my grapes!"

"I was dying of hunger!" He said in defense, and then laughed when she whacked him with the back of her hand as she walked toward the sink. The sound of his laughter eased some of the tension in the air. There was still a heaviness between them, but they were both ignoring it in hopes that it would go away on its own.

Thinking now would be a good time to bring up his idea, Bickslow said, "Don't worry, I can get more, or you could come to my place and eat all of mine."

"I might have to do that. It's only fair." Lucy expected him to say something about getting her alone at his place but he was silent. She looked over to see him immobile with his eyes glued to the package of chicken, but it was clear his mind was not on the poultry. Leaving the vegetables to dry in the sink, she moved to stand directly next to him and placed a hand on his arm as she said, "What is it, Bixy?"

He looked over at her with an expression full of deep regret. He stared into her eyes for a moment before finally saying, "You're going to see some really horrible things I've done."

Lucy's brows came together as she asked, "Like what?"

Bickslow sighed and dropped his eyes to the floor as he turned to fully face her. They moved at the same time to wrap their arms around one another, both wanting to feel the reassurance that came with their souls merging. After holding Lucy tightly for a few seconds, Bickslow finally worked up the courage to warn her about the things he'd just realized she would soon learn about his past. "I was really angry and lost for a few years. I joined Fairy Tail almost immediately after Laxus found me, but that didn't stop me from doing some terrible things."

Lucy's voice was muffled slightly by the way her face was buried against his chest. "I assumed as much when you said you'd only accidentally pulled out souls the one time." He hummed but didn't say anything in response, so Lucy said, "What you went through, not just with your sister but the torment you endured for so much of your childhood, those things would've pushed anyone to a dark place. I'm not going to suddenly think you're a terrible person because of whatever comes next."

"I'm not so sure about that." His words were full of doubt, so Lucy said reassuringly, "You're not a bad person, Bixy. My knowing you have some dark moments in your past won't change the fact that you're a good person now."

Still not ready to separate, Lucy kept her hold on him as she asked, "What is it like for you knowing all my memories?"

She felt him shrug before he said, "Nothing played out in detail like the way it's happening for you. I saw some things, like some stuff from when you were a kid and things about your team, but most of what I know is just there in my mind. Like how I know where everything is in your kitchen but I didn't witness the memories of you putting all of it there."

"That's just weird." She muttered, to which he agreed, "Yeah, it kind of is." He was quiet for a moment before saying, "The things I saw from your childhood, the really traumatizing stuff – I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm glad you found a life that makes you happy. The way you grew up and how your father treated you, it was wrong."

Lucy squeezed him a little tighter before saying, "I'm glad, too." She looked up at him then and found him looking back down at her. He looked so broken and vulnerable, yet so full of hope. She knew without a doubt that he was thinking about kissing her and wondered if he could tell she was thinking about the same thing. Part of her mind urged her to do it, but the more sensible side of her knew she would regret it.

As if he could read her mind, Bickslow pulled away from their shared embrace as he said, "We should start cooking."

The lack of flirtation and obvious effort to respect her wishes surprised Lucy, which quickly turned to confusion. This whole soul sharing thing was really muddling her emotions. She went through the act of chopping onions and zucchini while her mind was elsewhere. A large part of her attraction to Bickslow was his personality. She liked how free spirited and fun he was. She didn't want him to feel like he needed to tone himself down because of the boundary she had set, but then also felt like a hypocrite for appreciating the effort.

Lucy quickly realized her worries were unfounded when Bickslow said, "So, Cosplayer, you know how I said I know where things are in your apartment?"

"Yeah?" She asked as she looked over at him, wondering where this was going. The way his tongue was hanging from his mouth as he grinned at her gave her an idea. There was only one thing she owned that could make him look like that. Holding up the knife she was using to chop the vegetables, she threatened him, "If you take one step toward my nightstand, I will use this on you!"

With one hand on his chest in feigned shock, he said, "You would stab me? That's harsh. I just want to see it."

"Never! I can't believe you even know about it!" Lucy dropped the knife back to the cutting board so she could hide her face in her hands, and then groaned in both despair and disgust at the realization she'd just wiped onion juice on her face. "Do you have any idea how much effort I had to put into hiding it?"

Laughing lightly, Bickslow said, "Actually, yes, I know exactly how much effort you put into hiding it. I'm impressed, by the way. You building a secret compartment explains a lot about why you know about woodworking."

Lucy thought she might explode from embarrassment. Managing to hide her vibrator from her nosey teammates had been an accomplishment worth celebrating, but now she was so mortified by it that she just wanted to disappear. Picking up on her turmoil, Bickslow helped her out by saying, "No need to be ashamed. I have an entire collection of toys."

"You do?!" She exclaimed, but then remembered who she was talking to. "What am I saying? Of course, you do."

Waggling his brows at her, Bickslow said, "You show me yours and I'll show you mine."

Laughing, Lucy said, "Maybe one day."

Bickslow's tone lost its teasing edge as he said, "If we're going to be staying together for a couple days, we really should go to my place. Your bed is tiny. My feet will be hanging off the end all night."

Lucy opened a cabinet to get out her instant rice as she answered, "That's fine with me, but you do know my teammates will be showing up at some point."

The strangled noise coming from Bickslow wasn't the sort of response she expected, so she looked over at him in concern. Noticing her stare, Bickslow said, "Don't tell me you plan to make me eat instant rice."

Looking at the box and then back at him, Lucy said, "What's wrong with instant rice?"

"It's just so – " His words trailed off into a groan of disgust, which had her confused expression turning into a glare. Relenting, he said dramatically, "Fine, fine, I'll eat it, but you should expect proper cooking lessons tomorrow. No future lover of mine will be eating instant rice."

"Future lover?" Lucy asked with a brow raised, to which Bickslow waggled his. Rolling her eyes, Lucy said, "I should've known you'd be a food diva."

They worked together to finish preparing their shared meal with only a few more complaints from Bickslow about the rice. After they ate, Bickslow helped Lucy wash the dishes, which she silently reveled in. She wasn't sure if he was actively attempting to win her over, but it was working. Not that she was trying very hard to avoid her developing feelings for him.

The longer they spent together, the more she realized she liked a lot more about him than she disliked. She really hoped he would decide he was serious about having something with her because she knew she'd end up heartbroken otherwise. Her small crush on him was quickly morphing into something horribly romantic and she just couldn't seem to slow down the freight train of her emotions.