Waking up next to Bickslow the second morning was a much different experience. Lucy came awake slowly to find her limbs tangled up with his and her face pressed against his chest. Sometime during the night, they both migrated from their separate sides of his bed to meet in the middle with much more than just their hands touching. His arms were around her with one beneath her head and the other circling her waist, and she had one arm draped around him with the other tucked between their bodies. Even one of his legs was thrown over hers, trapping one of her legs between his. Lucy couldn't think of a time she'd ever cuddled so closely with someone. None of her previous relationships lasted long enough to develop a deep level of intimacy and she certainly never cuddled this way with her teammates. They slept in the same bed often enough but there was always a bit of distance between their bodies. There was no distance between her and Bickslow as if they tried to merge into one being as they slept.
Their unconscious actions reaffirmed something they'd joked about the day before – sharing parts of their souls had made them as close as an old married couple. It was an odd feeling to go so quickly from a somewhat shallow friendship to a deep connection. On one hand, Lucy felt wonderful about being so close to someone and the opportunity it created. On the other hand, it was absolutely terrifying. She already struggled with abandonment issues due to her childhood, and those issues were only exacerbated by situations in adulthood. Being so close to Bickslow left her suddenly feeling terrified he would decide he didn't want her, which had a cynical voice inside her saying of course that would happen. Other than the one time he'd mentioned taking her seriously, he hadn't said anything else about wanting more from her. For all she knew, he was simply trying to respect her boundaries, not make an effort to show her that he was interested in more than just her body.
Lucy did her best to slow her racing thoughts as she pressed further into Bickslow's embrace. It was too early for so much thinking, especially since the thoughts would become an endless cycle without any answers. With her worrying thoughts temporarily on hold, she suddenly realized she'd gotten to the end of Bickslow's memories overnight. Lying next to him as she slept had definitely sped along the process of taking in all there was to learn about him. She thought about the last memory of his that she had received, the memory of the fateful day all of this began. Based on the things he'd been thinking as he had watched her walk away from their shared table, he was definitely very attracted to her, not that he'd ever denied it, and had been utterly horrified by watching her die.
Thinking on the way he felt when he rushed to the spot where she lay unmoving had Lucy's heart clenching with guilt. He had been so afraid for her wellbeing. Her hand slipped inside his shirt to rub gentle circles against his back in an attempt to soothe a fear he likely no longer felt, though it occurred to her that she wouldn't know exactly what he felt now. She was at the end of her free access to his mind. The realization left her feeling almost sad. She found herself wishing she could see the last week through his eyes and know his thoughts. Doing so would definitely go a long way to ease her worries about what he was feeling for her now.
"How long have you been awake?" Bickslow's words were heavy with sleep as they interrupted her inner ramblings. When Lucy shifted to pull away, he tightened his arms around her and mumbled something that sounded like, "Don't move. Too comfortable."
That had Lucy smiling against him as she answered his question. "Only for a few minutes. I've just been laying here thinking."
He moved slightly to bury his face in her soft hair as he said, "Good thoughts, I hope."
Lucy hummed absently before saying, "I think I've gotten through all the memories of yours that I'll get through. I remember watching myself fall and then all the mayhem directly afterward. So, I guess it's official now – we really are like an old married couple who knows everything about each other."
His chest moved against her face as he let out a huff of laughter before saying, "Won't be official unless we sign the papers."
The joke caught her off guard since she was still thinking about what he could possibly want with her if anything at all. Trying to play off her shock, Lucy said, "Sorry, can't sign anything. I don't have a pen handy."
"Too bad." He said as he finally loosened his hold on her enough to move back slightly to look down at her. His lips were curved into a small, genuine smile instead of the flirtatious, teasing grin he normally sported. The romantic in Lucy wanted to read so much into the look he was giving her but that same cynical voice sprouted back to life in her mind. When had anyone ever wanted her for her? The men she was meant to marry back when she'd been an heiress were in it for prestige and money, then the men she met as an adult were always in it for sex and the thrill of dating a successful mage. No one wanted her.
It took everything in Lucy to suppress those thoughts, though she thought Bickslow might've known what she was thinking by the way his smile fell. His hand moved from her waist to smooth a bit of hair away from her face. Instead of speaking whatever thoughts she could see racing behind his eyes, he closed them and pressed his lips against her forehead before hugging her tightly again. One thing she had learned about Bickslow without a doubt – he craved to be touched but rarely ever was. As a naturally affectionate person, he struggled with the lack of contact. He found what little affection he could through guildmates and friends, then turned to sex to find the rest of it. The hollow fulfillment of his need for a physical connection only added to the brokenness he had carried since childhood, making Lucy's heart twinge for him again. She knew he was broken inside and knew he hid it well from the people around him. She wanted so badly to be the one who healed that brokenness but her fears kept her from saying any of the things she wanted to.
They lay there in silence for a while longer until the gnawing ache of hunger urged Lucy to get out of bed. Before moving away from her spot curled against Bickslow's warmth, she said, "Think we can go get those grapes today?"
His smile was clear in his voice as he said, "You and your grapes." Finally rolling onto his back, Bickslow let his magic flow more heavily into his totems, knowing the souls were impatiently waiting to be allowed to roam freely. They entered the room as excitedly as they had the day before, chattering away at him and Lucy until they got bored and zoomed into another room.
"That's a lot of excitement to wake up to every morning," Lucy said as she stared in the direction the totems had just disappeared.
"Yeah, sometimes keeping them in line is like trying a control a litter of kittens." Bickslow adjusted his weight to pull his arm out from where it was still tucked beneath Lucy so he could prop himself up on his side. Looking down at Lucy, he said, "I want to look at your soul again to see if it's any better today."
"Go ahead," Lucy said as she rolled onto her back, allowing the blanket to slide down to her stomach. He stared at her chest, ignoring the sight of her still wearing his shirt with her bare breasts beneath it. He had known she was no longer wearing a bra since he hadn't felt the straps along her back but seeing the evidence with his eyes was something else entirely. Logic told him he wouldn't want to wear a bra while sleeping either, but logic hardly mattered in that moment. The desire to touch her was nearly overwhelming and more difficult to control now than it had been since the entire debacle began. Taking a breath to steady himself, he activated the magic in his eyes to check the state of her soul.
"It looks good. If we exchange magic again, your soul might be whole enough for you to walk with me to the grocer for those grapes you want so badly." He deactivated his magic and found her staring at him thoughtfully.
"When you see a soul, is it a glowing light in the person's chest?" At his nod, Lucy said, "I think I was seeing everyone's souls when I held your magic the first time."
"Probably." Bickslow thought back to that moment, having completely forgotten Lucy had said something about everyone glowing and Natsu saying that Lucy's eyes were green.
When Lucy opened her mouth to speak again, Bickslow braced himself for whatever comment was coming, but he was shocked when she said, "It was really cool! I had no idea that's what a soul looked like."
The bright smile on her face dimmed a bit as she watched him tried to hide his reaction. She instantly understood what he had been expecting her to say, knowing he had heard those rude comments many times in his life. Her gaze softened with affection so tender that Bickslow didn't know how to respond. Rolling onto her side facing him, Lucy reached a hand over to trace along the swirling line next to his eye as she said, "Your magic is beautiful, Bixy."
Bickslow closed his eyes as she continued to trace one finger along the line rimming his eyelid and then over to the small figure between his eyes. He wondered if she was thinking of his memory of the day he got the tattoo to cover the ragged scar that marred his skin. It was a memory he'd tried hard to forget, never wanting to relive the moment his father had smashed a rock against his face. When he felt Lucy's lips press gently against that spot, he was sure that's what she was thinking about.
A slight tremor passed through his body at the feeling of her lips against his skin and the way her soul seemed to envelop his. Slipping an arm around her, Bickslow smoothed his hand up her spine, relishing in the feeling of her skin beneath his fingertips. Tilting his head slightly, he opened his eyes to see her already watching him. The slight glow of his eyes reflected off her skin but she didn't flinch away from his gaze, unbothered by the power it held and the emotion she knew would cause the faint glow.
His lips were so close to hers that he could feel the tease of their fullness trying to draw him in. "Tell me you want this, Lucy," his voice was a ragged whisper as his hand against her back pressed her even closer. "I want this and I know you do, too. I can feel it."
Lucy's eyes squeezed closed and she looked almost pained as she finally withdrew from him both physically and emotionally. With their souls still unified through their physical touch, he could almost feel her emotions, the hurt and rejection, as she misunderstood his words. Knowing her innermost insecurities as he did, Bickslow stopped her from pulling away fully as he said, "That's not what I meant."
Her eyes popped open as she asked with obvious disbelief, "It's not?"
"Well, that's part of it. I'm a man, Cosplayer, a fully functional one. I'd have to be dead not to want sex but that's not all of it." He watched as the tension that had filled her suddenly left, leaving her relaxed against the pillow. A slight smile tipped her lips as she said, "Oh."
Lucy's stomach chose that moment to let out a loud growl, making her flush with embarrassment as Bickslow laughed before saying, "We should get out of bed to go find you some food before that monster attacks me."
Rolling her eyes, Lucy tugged her shirt down fully to cover her underwear and then threw back the blanket to get out of the bed. Wordlessly, she summoned Virgo while wondering what shenanigans the maid would attempt this time. Much to Lucy's relief, the maid spirit appeared with her usual subservient bow – and her bum facing the correct direction – as she said, "Good morning, Princess."
"Morning, Virgo." Lucy waited until Virgo was upright to say in a no-nonsense tone, "I need the clothes I packed."
The mischief in Virgo's eyes didn't match the dullness of her voice as she said, "Are you sure? I think your gentleman friend much prefers you in this outfit."
"She's not wrong." Bickslow chimed in from his place on the bed, making Lucy turn to him with a glare as she said, "Hush. You're not helping."
By the time she turned back to Virgo, there was a stack of neatly folded clothing in the maid's extended hand. After Lucy took the stack, Virgo bowed again as she said, "Would you – "
The maid disappeared as Lucy forced her gate closed with a groan as she said, "No, I do not want to punish you."
Bickslow snorted at that and then stood up as he asked, "You want to see what your soul looks like?"
"Yes!" Lucy said, her irritation with Virgo completely forgotten. "I saw it through your memories but I want to see it for myself."
Walking around the bed toward the bathroom, Bickslow said, "Let's do the magic thing in here so you can see."
As she followed him through the doorway and set her clothing on the countertop, Lucy said, "I was thinking about how we could do this differently to avoid me feeling like I'll explode with magic again." When Bickslow made a noise prompting her to continue, she said, "I think I felt that way because my magical containers were full and I was trying to add in more magic – your magic. What if we trying cycling our magic through continuously?"
"So," Bickslow started with his brows scrunched, "you want to push your magic into me while I do the same to you?"
"Basically, yes, but I'm not sure if there will be any side effects. The biggest downfall I see happening would be to develop some sort of magic related sickness from holding an entirely different type of magic. Though, since that didn't happen to me last time, I think we'll be fine. Probably." She really hoped so, especially since Bickslow was nodding along as if it sounded like a great idea. His easy acceptance of a risky plan didn't surprise her since she had known long before gaining his memories that he enjoyed the thrill of taking risks. Lucy was sure he would've said yes even if the chance of illness was high, so his approval wasn't reassuring.
"Let's try it." He moved Lucy to stand directly in front of him. He bent his arms with his hands facing palm up and then she placed her hands into his, linking their fingers together. Bickslow looked down at their joined hands as he said, "You might need to walk me through this like last time. I have no idea how to do what you're wanting me to do."
Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Lucy said, "Ok, so, you're going to let magic pool in one hand while drawing in my magic with the other."
"Right," he said, sounding unsure. "But how?"
"Last time, when I told you I had enough magic and you had to stop pushing the magic into your palm, you would've had to pull the magic back into yourself." Lucy watched in the mirror as Bickslow nodded in understanding. "So, you'll try to do the same thing, except it'll be my magic you're pulling into yourself."
He nodded again before saying, "Ok, let's do it."
"Draw some magic into your left hand while I do my right and then we'll both try to absorb it." As soon as Lucy finished speaking, she let her magic course through her body until it reached her hand, focusing on keeping the flow steady. It took Bickslow a bit longer to do the same but he managed to create enough raw magic in his left hand to make it as visible as Lucy's. Speaking quietly, Lucy said, "Now focus on keeping the flow to your hand steady as you pull in my magic."
With a slight nod, Bickslow focused on doing as Lucy instructed. She waited on him to work out the mechanics before she began drawing on his magic in hopes of maintaining a steady flow between them. A few focused moments passed before she felt the sensation of him drawing on her magic as he whispered, "Got it."
Lucy began to pull on the power pooled in his hand, drawing it into herself at the same rate she continued pushing more magic into his other hand. The moment his magic entered the inner pathways carved by her natural magic, Lucy felt the power of his magic differently than she had before. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the sudden influx of power as she had before, she felt invigorated by it, as if an entirely new set of senses had awakened. She could suddenly sense the energy of the souls connected to Bickslows, the awareness not entirely unlike the connection she had with her spirits. With that same foreign sense, she felt the moment the totem became curious about the changes in Bickslow. "Bixy," she whispered, "your totems are coming."
He met her eyes in the mirror as he said, "I know. You feel them?" When she nodded, he grinned as he kicked the door shut to avoid the totems interrupting their focus. There was a brief silence before a succession of thuds sounded as the totems collided with the door as they tried to push it open. With the doorknob being round instead of a handle they could push down, they were stuck outside the door until it was opened.
Lucy felt the totems trying to figure a way inside and their curiosity at what was going on. She smiled at Bickslow as she said, "This is amazing."
"Yeah," his tone matched hers as he added, "I can feel your spirits. Why can't they come across?" He could feel their frustration at their inability to investigate, much like what his totems were experiencing.
"I'm forcing their gates to stay closed. They're all nosy, so they'll be watching us anyway." The longer the magic flowed between them, the easier it became to maintain the cycle of push and pull. It was with a growing sense of wonder that Lucy became more aware of the connection between their souls. Bickslow had mentioned feeling it in a way she hadn't understood until now. Where she had felt a sense of rightness when being near him, he described a sense of unity and wholeness that she hadn't experienced. Now she could feel it and slightly envied the fact that the feeling would end as soon as they cancelled the flow of magic.
Bickslow's voice drew her attention as he said in a mildly disappointed tone, "Your eyes aren't glowing."
"I don't know how to turn it on. Last time I was so overwhelmed by your magic that it happened without me doing anything. This time I can feel your magic but I don't know what to do with it." She met his eyes in the mirror, noticing they were still the natural deep shade of red instead of green. "It's a matter of will, right? I remember you learning it but I don't know exactly what you did."
He pursed his lips as he thought of how to explain it. He knew he was a terrible teacher, so he hoped he could lead by example. "It's not all that different from pushing your magic into your hands like we are right now." When her brow only furrowed in thought as she attempted to do as he said, Bickslow made a frustrated noise before saying, "I'll do it, and then maybe you can follow what I do."
Connected as she was to Bickslow's magic, Lucy felt the way it moved through his body. He was right, it was much like what they were doing with their hands, with the difference being the intention behind the action. Understanding what she'd done wrong before, Lucy tried again with purpose.
After a few seconds, Lucy's eyes glowed a bright green that matched his. She smiled excitedly at the success and then sucked in a shocked breath as she took in the sight of their souls. Her voice was full of astonishment as she said, "Wow. That's what our souls look like?"
"Yeah. The gold is you and green is me but it's hard to tell they're two different souls like this. It looks like one dual-colored soul."
Lucy was speechless as she stared at the swirl of colors that seemed to glow and mingle together. Her eyes were transfixed by the way they intertwined to create something uniquely beautiful. As she watched, she noticed something changing within the mass. "What's happening?"
"Your soul is healing." He pressed closer to her and rested his chin on her head. He relished in the way she leaned into him instead of pulling away, completely unbothered by his touch, his magic, or any of the many terrible things she now knew about him. "You see how the golden edges are beginning to look more solid like the green?" She nodded, so he said, "That's how a soul should look. Before, when it was fading, there was no barrier around the edge, so the golden light just seeped out."
Lucy made a noise of understanding but didn't speak again, too entranced by the sight reflected in the mirror. It wasn't only their souls she watched but the way they looked together. She was so average, not that she felt unattractive, but she could fit in with a crowd. Bickslow had such an unusual appearance, with his wild hair, facial tattoo, and dramatic eyeliner, not to mention his height. So many people believed he was an odd man, and he was, but he was also so uniquely wonderful. She found it hard to be anything but glad they'd been brought closer together by the events of the past week.
A slight change in the way she felt drew Lucy's attention back to her soul. The edges appeared solid, which was likely the reason she suddenly felt well. The slight drain she had experienced almost nonstop was now nonexistent. Assuming he was seeing the same thing, Lucy asked "Do you think it's done?"
He nodded but didn't pull away or stop the flow of his magic, wanting to feel this for as long as possible. Being connected as they were was possibly the most blissful, peaceful feeling he'd ever experienced, and he wasn't alone in wanting it to continue. Lucy had no desire to end the moment. Since the day before when she'd realized how compatible the two of them were, she couldn't seem to stop herself from falling for him. Their shared memories fast-forwarded their friendship to the same level of closeness she shared only with the people she'd been close to for years. Add in the attraction she'd always felt toward Bickslow and Lucy found herself too far down the rabbit hole to turn back.
Lucy wrapped their joined hands around her, no longer worried about the movement possibly interrupting the flow of magic now that her soul was healed. Their glowing eyes met again and Lucy smiled softly at Bickslow, drawing a relieved-sounding sigh from him. Lucy didn't need to ask to know what it meant. He was relieved she was no longer in danger and relieved she didn't hate him for accidentally tangling their souls, but most of all, he was relieved she accepted him as he was.
She squeezed his hands in silent understanding before saying, "Think it will stay fixed?"
"Maybe, as long as we aren't separated for long periods of time. With parts of our souls merged together, it's possible those pieces will try to return to where they belong. It could cause the boundaries of your soul to weaken again." He ended his theory with a shrug, confirming he was making it all up as he went.
Nodding, Lucy said, "So, I guess we should just stop the flow of magic now?"
"I dunno, Cosplayer. You're the one with all the big ideas here. I'm just along for the ride." His tongue fell from his mouth with the innuendo, but his chin was still resting against her hair.
Lucy's eyes narrowed as she said, "You'd better not lick my hair."
"Like this?" Bickslow asked, stretching his tongue further until it touched a few blonde strands.
"Bickslow!" She shouted as she jerked away from him, effectively removing her hair from the threat of saliva while also ending their connection. The abrupt change in her vision switching from magically enhanced to natural sight left her dizzy and grasping the counter for support. He laughed as she glared at him while saying, "That was so gross! I can't believe you licked my hair."
"I'd love to lick more of you but you just won't let me."
A frustrated growl left Lucy, making Bickslow say, "You sound like a dragon slayer."
The growl turned into a shriek before Lucy said, "Get out! Now I need to wash my hair."
"Need help?" He asked, then dodged the foot she tried to stomp on his toes. With a laugh, he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek and then said, "Alright, I'll leave."
All the irritation evaporated out of Lucy with the sweet gesture, leaving her to shake her head with a slight smile as she closed the door behind him.
As soon as Bickslow's totems dropped the shopping bags on the countertop, Lucy rummaged through them until she found the grapes. Lifting them triumphantly, she said, "I'll be keeping these to myself."
Bickslow huffed in amusement before asking, "How are you still hungry? Those muffins were big enough to feed a small family and you ate two of them."
"Hey!" She turned to glare at him as she pulled his colander out of a cabinet and then placed the grapes in it to rinse them in the sink. "I'll have you know, maintaining this figure requires a healthy number of baked treats."
"Oh, so that's the secret," Bickslow said as he removed his helmet and set it down before moving to stand behind Lucy with his hands on her waist. At some point during their extended shopping trip, their casual touches had gradually progressed to an undoubtedly suggestive level. His fingertips traced along the slip of skin exposed beneath the hem of her shirt until his hands were splayed wide against her stomach with little regard for how he was reaching beneath her shirt. Leaning back against his chest, Lucy lifted one of the grapes up as she looked over her shoulder at him while asking, "Want to try one?"
With a sly grin that she knew meant danger, Bickslow closed his lips over her fingers, sliding them slowly along until he pulled away with the fruit in his mouth. Lucy dropped her hand to turn off the running water but didn't make a move to pull away from his touch. With her hands gripping the edge of the sink as if she needed to hold herself in place, Lucy said, "You should really stop teasing me, Bixy."
"Why would I do that?" He leaned down to lightly trace his lips along the side of her neck, not quite a kiss but too sensually to be mistaken for anything innocent.
"Because," she said, her voice becoming hardly more than a whisper as she tipped her head to the side to allow her hair to fall away and give him easier access, "you're making it hard for me to keep saying no."
"Then my plan is working." His grip around her waist tightened slightly, becoming what she might've taken as possessive from anyone else.
"What plan?" She asked as she finally moved, turning around to face Bickslow as his hands slipped to rest on her sides.
He looked into her eyes, appearing completely serious as he said, "To make it impossible for you to keep denying us both what we want."
Lucy huffed in disbelief as she closed her eyes with a slight shake of her head. "We don't want the same things."
"What makes you so sure about that?" He asked persistently. "I told you earlier I don't only want sex."
Giving him a dull look, Lucy said, "I have all your memories, remember? You've never had any interest in the type of relationship I want, and going through with the two of us having a casual relationship will end horribly for me." I'm already too far gone, she wanted to add but kept that part to herself.
"Ah, Cosplayer," he made an exasperated sound before adding, "you have this way of inspiring people. You already know that about yourself. Why would I be excluded from being swayed by your amazing personality?" He moved one hand to rest his fingers along the side of her neck, rubbing his thumb gently across her cheek. "You have no idea what you've done to me."
Those words snapped the last of Lucy's self-control. She gripped the front of his shirt, pulling against it so he would lean down enough for her to press her lips to his. The first contact seemed to electrify her body, sending a shiver deep through her as she wrapped her arms around his neck to hold him close. His lips moved against hers with a need that matched her own as his arms slid around her waist to press her tightly against him. In the next instant, their lips parted and she could taste him as his tongue twisted with hers to deepen the kiss.
Bickslow had to dampen the magic flowing to his totems as they curiously lifted off the countertop. He didn't need them interrupting him finally, finally get a small taste of Lucy's passionate side. Her body rocked into him as she pressed against him, twisting her fingers through his hair. He moaned softly at the way she pulled it slightly in her eagerness to get even closer. The smooth skin of her back beneath his hands only teased him further as he explored under her shirt, driving him to want to feel more of her body. Her tight hold on him, as if she were as afraid of losing him as he was of losing her, made him want to show her everything he could offer her if they were together.
He felt the moment she pulled away, even before their lips had parted or their hands left each other's bodies. It was a soul-deep feeling, one he recognized as her hesitancy to give in, too afraid of being taken advantage of. Thanks to everything he knew about her, he knew the doubts that had to be racing through her mind as she finally broke their kiss fully and released her hold around his shoulders. Bickslow let her slip away as he stood up to his full height, allowing her the space she needed to rein her desires back in. As much as everything in him rebelled at the idea of the moment ending, he knew he had to give her the time she needed to believe he truly did want a relationship.
Lucy smiled up at him in a way that made his stomach do a little flip before she leaned against his chest with her arms around him. He returned the embrace, struggling to maintain control of his body to avoid a very obvious display of what he would much rather be doing. After a moment of standing wrapped around one another, Lucy pulled away as she said, "I'll put everything away while you start the sauce you've been bragging about. If you don't start it soon, there won't be enough time for it to cook before we're both hungry again."
"That's right. I'm supposed to be impressing you with my culinary skills." Bickslow grinned with his tongue out, making Lucy roll her eyes as she said, "I still doubt it will be better than the restaurant's sauce."
Making an injured noise, Bickslow put a hand to his chest as he said, "So ruthless. Give it a chance and you'll see it's better than anything you've had before."
Lucy raised a brow at the double meaning but couldn't resist laughing as he waggled his eyebrows at her. "You're hopeless."
Time passed without either of them noticing as they cooked together and talked about anything that came to mind. The bundle of nerves Lucy felt over her doubts about Bickslow was slowly easing as the day wore on. He was as much of a flirt as ever now that he'd seemed to have embraced the idea of winning her over but he was also easy to talk to about anything that came to mind. They talked more about her parents and her childhood since Bickslow had many questions about things he was confused by in her memories. It was nice to talk about that part of her life with someone who knew the details of her duties as an heiress and what her life had been like. She shared stories about her mother, enjoying the way he followed along and supplied details he learned from her memories – which was slightly odd as it was comforting.
They were both surprised none of their teammates had popped up as they had the day before. After Natsu's second appearance to "make sure Luce ate dinner", Lucy expected him to be dropping by regularly to check on her. Though, she agreed Bickslow may have been onto something in assuming Laxus had a hand in keeping Natsu away. If Laxus had offered to spar with Natsu to distract him, only Lucy knocking on death's door could pull him away.
Bickslow was scrolling through movie suggestions on his lacrima projection device when Lucy declared, "I really need to change my shirt." She lifted the neckline of the garment to sniff at it, making a face of disgust before saying, "The onion stench still hasn't faded and I don't want your sofa smelling like onions."
"Sorry, babe," Bickslow said with a shrug, sounding completely unapologetic as he went on, "I just can't keep my hands off of you." Lucy rolled her eyes at that. It had been his fault entirely that she had onion juice on her shirt since he'd put his hands on her shoulders after cutting one.
A knock at the door had Lucy standing to her feet as she said, "It's probably Natsu. I'll go change or I'll never hear the end of how terrible I smell."
While Bickslow walked toward the door, Lucy walked toward his bedroom in search of the other shirt Virgo had brought to her that morning. Knowing Natsu, if she continued wearing the dirty one, he'd blame the smell on Lucy forgetting to put on deodorant – as if anyone but him made that mistake and left it uncorrected long enough to smell bad.
When Lucy made it back into the living area of Bickslow's home, it wasn't Natsu she found standing there. The woman staring at Bickslow with a bottle in one hand and a bag in the other looked familiar, though Lucy couldn't immediately place where she'd seen her. A glance at Bickslow told Lucy he hadn't been expecting company, and if his expression were to be believed, he wasn't very happy about the arrival of said company.
Another look at the woman, who had now turned her awkward stare to Lucy, jogged the blonde's memory – which was actually one of Bickslow's memories. An intense bout of nausea suddenly overcame Lucy at the bombardment of memories triggered by the recognition of Champagne – a bartender from Shirutsome whose name he'd never bothered to learn though he'd hooked up with her twice. The details of those hook ups were now searing Lucy's mind like the fires of hell come to life to torment her. After their last time together, the woman had told him she'd be passing through Magnolia's train station and agreed to stop by his place on that day. Apparently, Bickslow had forgotten that day had arrived.
"You have a girlfriend?" The woman's voice, full of genuine confusion and discomfort, was so painfully familiar that it twisted the knife in Lucy's gut. She had to get out.
Lucy's eyes met Bickslow's and she could see all of his emotions swirling behind his gaze – shock, panic, shame, but most of all, fear. As she watched him, she saw the moment he recognized what he was seeing in her face. His eyes closed as a visible weight seemed to settle over him, one that looked a lot like hopelessness. When his eyes opened again, they glowed faintly with emotions too strong to control coursing through his body and bringing his magic to life.
In a moment that couldn't have lasted more than a single second, Lucy felt the fantasy she'd built in her mind crash into the reality of how Bickslow lived his life. The two collided with an impact that shattered her heart into a million tiny pieces.
No matter how compatible they were and how close they suddenly found themselves, it didn't change the fact that they had very different values and life goals. No level of closeness and no desperate desire for a happy ending could change who they were. That realization hit Lucy with the force of the speeding train Champagne rode in on.
Lucy suddenly struggled to breathe. Her eyes pricked with the threat of tears, but she refused to cry in front of him or this woman. She wouldn't add to her humiliation.
Finally answering the woman's – Champagne's - question, Lucy said, "I'm just a guildmate." Looking back at Bickslow, Lucy plastered on a bright smile that probably looked a bit deranged but she didn't care. "See you at the guildhall."
He opened his mouth as if to speak but nothing came out, which was fine with Lucy. She wanted to run away as quickly as possible not stay to talk things out.
Her feet finally left the place they'd been rooted to the floor and she found herself moving quickly toward the door. The only route out of this torturous situation was directly between the woman and Bickslow. She closed the distance with more speed than was necessary but she didn't care as long as she could get away from the weight of Bickslow's gaze.
She had nearly made it to freedom when a slight weight on her shoulder stopped her from opening the door as Pipi said, "Cosplayer?"
Lucy's composure nearly slipped. She lifted the totem from where it had landed on her shoulder and cupped it in both hands as she said, "I'm ok, Pipi. I'll see you soon." And then she released the totem, relieved it floated instead of crashing to the floor as she fled out the door.
In a teary-eyed blur, Lucy made it out of sight of Bickslow's home and then allowed Loke's gate to open. She'd felt him pushing against her hold over his gate as soon as she was outside but she didn't want to stop moving until she knew she couldn't be seen. Loke materialized in front of her with his arms open and she threw herself into his embrace. Sobs wracked her body with the force of her sorrow, tears spilling from her eyes to wet the Zodiac Leader's suit jacket. Stroking her back in a comforting gesture, Loke whispered, "I'm so sorry, Princess. I would undo all of this for you if I could."
His words only served to increase her tears as she clutched at him, wishing she hadn't so easily fallen for a man she knew wouldn't be good for her. When she found her voice, she said, "Take me home, Loke."
Bickslow felt the pieces of his soul within Lucy when they disappeared before reappearing some distance away. He knew from her memories that her spirits could transport her through their world, so he assumed that's how she'd gotten home so quickly.
Finally turning away from where he'd been frozen in shock as he stared at the door, he did his best to wipe the devastation from his expression. He glanced over at Champagne, who looked extremely uncomfortable with the entire situation, and he absently wondered why he'd ever been interested in her at all. He wasn't truly attracted to her and couldn't think of a single meaningful exchange they'd shared. Did it matter? It wasn't like anything would be changing. He'd just watched his best chance at happiness run out of his life.
His eyes were drawn back to his front door as he wondered why he'd allowed this woman to walk inside, why he hadn't tried to stop Lucy from leaving, why he hadn't said anything, but he knew the answer. As much as he had wanted things to work out between them, he knew he was no good for her. That knowledge had held his tongue when he might've been able to change the outcome of the past few minutes. Maybe he could have become the type of man Lucy wanted, but fate had made it clear that he wasn't meant to.
Doing his best to pull himself together, Bickslow again looked at Champagne as he asked, "What'd you bring?" If his voice didn't sound quite right, she didn't comment on it. Not that her words would've mattered, anyway. He just wanted to find a way to forget all of this, and he was pretty sure he'd find what he was looking for in the bottom of that bottle.
A/N: Don't hate me! It's all part of the process! Everything Lucy had been working so hard to ignore has finally caught up with them and now they'll have to deal with it in addition to some other interesting things.
Please review! I want to know what you think