Obligatory disclaimer: sadly, Grey's Anatomy is property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC, not me.

A/N: So sorry that this took so long guys, I had trouble with this chapter and I was in and out of hospital for tests a lot lately so I haven't had time to write. I have chapter 3 started and chapter four or five, not sure which one it will be yet, is finished. Thanks to cluzyspaz13 for adding this story to their favourites, to NaleyOTH23, juffiestees and rulerofallthingevil for adding this story to their alerts list (sorry if you get a double notice- I had to delete the chapter and fix it) and to kikky for reviewing! I should be updating again either later today (I'm GMT -5 so right now it's just after 1am :D) or tomorrow for sure. I think I got into Derek's head pretty well in this one. Just so you know- it might be MerDer now, but expect that to change soon! As always- reviews are greatly appreciated!

The next afternoon found Meredith sitting in her hospital bed eating with Izzie, Cristina, Alex and George, who had brought her real food and her laptop. Meredith's head was pounding and as much as she wanted quiet she didn't want to be alone.

"So Mer, what's this about you becoming all friendly with Satan?" Cristina said.

Meredith shrugged. "She's not that bad. Besides, she's been here more than Derek and the rest of you and it's easy to talk to her."

"She's not that bad? Okay then Mer. Remember that when you're being all bitchy because Satan did something Satan-y and you go all dark and twisty on me again," sneered Cristina before she got up and left the room to go back to the pit.

"Don't listen to her Mer, she's just stressed over the wedding." Izzie said sympathetically.

Meredith just raised her eyebrows. "Whatever."

George cleared his throat nervously before speaking. "Mer, what happened? In the water?"

Meredith visibly stiffened.

"C'mon Bambi, leave it alone. We know that you and Barbie want to know but have some respect. She doesn't want to talk about it." Alex intervened with a scowl.

"But-"

"Leave it, Barbie."

Izzie and George's pagers went off then and they left the room, promising to see her later. When they had left, Meredith looked at Alex for a moment before speaking.

"Thanks, Alex. I really appreciate that." Meredith had always been able to talk to Alex because inside they were both the same- dark and twisty.

Alex just shrugged. "No problem. I get that you don't want to talk about it right now."

He paused, looked at his shoes and then continued. "But, ah… if you want to talk about it you know where I am. I've got to go though, I have surgery with Bailey."

Meredith smiled. "Thanks, Alex. Have fun in surgery for me!"

Alex nodded and left, leaving her alone again. She could not wait until they finally discharged her and let her go back to work so she could do surgery again.

Several hours after Alex left, Derek had come in looking all gloomy and had sat by her, holding her hand and listening to her breathing. She had looked at him funny, and they had talked for a while about a surgery he had performed on a crash victim who had a traumatic subdural hematoma and had thankfully pulled through the surgery. Since he was in a coma and was only 2 hours post-op, Derek had gone on-call in case of complications. Meredith was too tired to talk a lot so she mostly nodded at what he had to say to show that she was listening.

Around 9 o'clock, Meredith started to fall asleep and assumed that Derek would go and sleep in an on-call room or even in his office.

She woke up three hours later to find him watching her.

"Der?" she mumbled sleepily.

He ran his fingers through her hair soothingly. "Go back to sleep Mer."

"How bad is it?"

"Hmm?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?" She stared at him, now awake, daring him to lie.

"Eight," he sighed.

She sat up and hugged him as tightly as she could before kissing him. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's all going to be okay." He held her and rubbed her back until she calmed down and fell back asleep.

When he put her back onto the bed he sat there, watching her and thinking.

He had told her it was all going to be okay, but how did he know?

'She always avoids and runs,' said the voice in the back of his head. 'How do you know that she won't do it again?'

'No, she won't. I'll help her, I'll make sure we're fine.'

'Ah, but you, Derek…' continued the annoying voice. 'When the going gets tough, McDreamy gets going.'

'That's not true!' he protested vehemently.

'But it is, Derek. What about Addison? When things started getting difficult you spent all your time at the hospital. When Addison cheated on you with Mark you moved clear across the country. How do you know that you won't be absent again? More importantly, how does she know that?'

'Because I love Meredith more than Addison! I won't run from her.'

'Whatever you say,' said the voice snidely. 'Just remember that the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself. Arguing with yourself is several steps worse.'

Derek rubbed his eyes tiredly. He really needed to sleep.

Meredith had woken up once more when a nurse had come in to check her vitals. She had been surprised to see that Derek was still awake and staring at her.

"Derek. Go to sleep! You have surgery in 3 hours."

He had just shrugged and kept watching her.

Meredith started to get pissed off. "Derek Christopher, if you don't get some sleep you'll end up killing someone! I'll be fine; there are people everywhere. Nothing is going to happen to me. Now go to sleep!"

He huffed angrily before getting up. "Fine."

He bent over and kissed her. "Love you Mer."

"You too."

As soon as she was sure he was out of the room she closed her eyes and went back to sleep, only to be woken again by Cristina storming into her room.

"Meredith!"

Meredith groaned. "What, Cristina? I'm trying to sleep."

"I think Evil Spawn has a thing for Satan!"

Meredith's eyes flew open and she sat up as fast as she could.

"Oh, ouch. Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously! Barbie was up around the NICU and she saw them staring at each other. Then I watched the c-section they did together and it was like watching you and McAss- too much eye sex!"

"What! No- but Addison is normally so professional!"

"Well Mer, Satan had Evil Spawn squirming, that's for sure!" Her pager sounded. "Damn, gotta go! It better be surgery. Bye, Mer!"

"But Cris- you can't just- UGH!"

Meredith collapsed against her pillow, pondering this latest bit of gossip. She had heard stuff from the nurses' station, but she hadn't believed it. After all, the nurses generally seemed to think gossiping was their job.

How the hell was she supposed to sleep now?

Posted July 21st, 2009