Obligatory disclaimer: I freaking wish I owned this ! The closest thing I'll claim is being Satan's little sister :) I just take the characters and play with them.

I could apologize for taking so long to update this, but to be honest I'm not going to. I've felt that lately, especially the last few chapters as I set things up I haven't had much of a response. While I'm sure that some of this is that it takes me awhile to update because of life, it hasn't motivated me at all. As a matter of fact, I almost stopped writing because I'm a wee bit pissed. Actually, that's a lie. I'm livid. It came to my attention via an unknown source that someone has been lifting my ideas and scenarios almost directly from my story and using it in theirs. I'm going to be nice and not mention their name(s), but know this: I work my butt off to plan this and each chapter has multiple versions. Even though they're short more often than not, some of these scenarios hit close to home and are freaking hard for me to write. So I would appreciate it if you would not lift my work or if you use something, give credit where credit is due. If you ask me, I might agree. I don't like finding it out from others or on my own while browsing what I had hoped would be a great fic (and it's not just on this board. It's other places too. Should I be happy that it means my stuff is being read?) Also, since this apparently is an issue for some people- I'd just like to remind you that in Canada we may spell some things differently than you're used to. It's not that I'm stupid, it's what I was taught. Thanks.

On that note, here's your update. I know it's short, but there's more in progress. I've almost re-written my deleted files and I've done some work on Tension too. This chapter was inspired in part by the amazing work of Ziny-DiNozzo, go check her out :) (see, that's me giving credit.) This and the next few chapters are also dedicated to everyone who showed that they're still interested- beverlie4055, neweldi, ladysmirnoff, kochy-girl, Nyberg3, Arizona'sIntern, venlass, Manni Renee, iam-kelly, Ziny-DiNozzo and rolly21 (hi, Katie!). Thanks so much to all of you!

"Meredith? Mer? Where are you?"

She shut the closet door and continued on with a sigh. Addison had checked the roof, the on call rooms, the supply closets, her car, Meredith's car and the only place she hadn't looked was the basement. She was on her way there now, running through the hospital and down the stairs as if she was answering a 911 page. She had stopped briefly in OB to tell a nurse to turn all her patients over to Dr. Chu for the next little while as she had a personal emergency. The nurse just nodded and wished her luck, already knowing that Addison was looking for Meredith.

Arriving in the basement out of breath, she was relieved to have found her, even if she was curled up in a heap on the floor. She could hear her harsh sobs from several yards away. Crossing the space between them quickly, she put her hand on Meredith's shoulder tentatively. "Mer?"

"G- go away."

Addison crouched down. "Meredith, please."

"Just go, go before you get hurt too! I'm toxic, I'm toxic..." She started sobbing even harder, until her words were unintelligible.

Manoeuvring so she was right next to her, Addison gathered Meredith into a fierce hug. Meredith fought her for a minute until she realized that Addison's grip wasn't getting any looser and returned the hug, clinging to her as if her life depended on it.

Addison rubbed circles on her back as if she was cradling a newborn. "Sweetheart, you aren't toxic. Don't listen to him; he doesn't know his ass from his esophagus."

Meredith managed a half snort. "But she trusted me, and now she's dead. My mommy trusted me and she's dead too, and Derek trusted me and I died... I let everyone down. You'll be next, I can't help it. Everything around me dies... I can't even save myself."

Addison squeezed her tightly. "Did you feel that? Do you feel your heart breathing, your lungs moving to bring in air, the tears running down your beautiful face? All those prove that you're alive, Mer. You didn't die, you're sitting right here with me. The only person you've let down is yourself because you don't give yourself enough credit. You're extraordinary, Meredith."

"No, no, no! Extraordinary people don't give up, they don't stop swimming! I drowned, I let myself drown, I wanted it all to stop! I'm sick of being the dirty mistress, the slutty intern or the daughter of Ellis Grey! I am not extraordinary. Extraordinary people make names for themselves, they do what others can't. Here." She fumbled in her pocket and pulled out her phone. Finding the dictionary application, she looked up extraordinary and thrust the phone into Addison's hands. "If anything, I'm the word history! 'Out of order', that sounds about right!"

Startled, Addison took the phone and read the screen.

ex·traor·di·nar·y –adjective

1. beyond what is usual, ordinary, regular, or established: extraordinary costs.

2. exceptional in character, amount, extent, degree, etc.; noteworthy; remarkable: extraordinary speed; an extraordinary man.

3. (of an official, employee, etc.) outside of or additional to the ordinary staff; having a special, often temporary task or responsibility: minister extraordinary and plenipotentiary.

Looking back up at Meredith, she shook her head. "Mer, you're crazy if you don't think you fit this definition. Now, I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen, okay?"

Meredith just looked at her blankly.

"An ordinary person wouldn't have survived living with Ellis Grey. They wouldn't have survived endless boarding schools, being forgotten, spending holidays and birthdays by themselves. They wouldn't have pushed themselves through college and medical school at the Ivy League level and they wouldn't have been allowed to have pink hair at a boarding school!"

She put her hand under Meredith's chin and forced her to look her in the eyes. "You Meredith Grey, did all those things. You even beat death not once, but twice! You held your hand on a bomb, looked death in the eye and told it to go and fuck itself. You were pushed in the bay after helping your patient and against all odds you came back. That's not even including when I swooped in and announced that I was your boyfriend's wife. You just keep on surviving Meredith, it's what you do. It's what extraordinary people do. Okay?"

Meredith sniffled and wiped a few tears off her cheek. "Okay,"

Addison got up and held out her hand. "Let's get you off of this gross floor and onto one of those beds over there."

Pulling Meredith up, she led her over to the gurneys and they both sat down. She dug around in her pocket until she found a clean Kleenex and passed it to Meredith so she could finish drying her eyes. Leaning back against the wall, she put her arm around Meredith, whose head was on her shoulder.

"It's not your fault you know. You didn't give Susan the hiccoughs or perform the procedure on her. No one knew that those kinds of complications would happen to her Mer, the chances are so small with that procedure."

"I know that Addie, but she trusted me. They were just starting to be my real family, even Thatcher to an extent. Molly and Lexie must hate me now, I killed their mother…" She started to sob again, distraught at the thought of her sisters' anger.

"Mer, honey, stop crying. Stop, okay? I have a message for you from Molly and Laura, but you need to breathe before I can tell you, alright?"

She nodded slowly and Addison rubbed her back again until her sniffles stopped. "Okay, I'm ready. Does she hate me?"

Addison got tears in her eyes at the anguished look on Meredith's face and the pain in her voice. "Mer, Molly doesn't hate you. She wanted me to tell you that she's so sorry for what he said to you and that you're still her Merbear. She still loves you Mer, and Lexie does too. They both stood up for you to him and you know that Laura thinks the world of her Auntie Mer."

"Re-really?" Meredith turned and looked at Addison, her eyes bright with tears. "She said that? Oh!" And with that she was crying again, her head buried in Addison's chest. Addison could do nothing but run her hand on Meredith's back, hoping to calm her down again. It was startling for her to see Meredith this vulnerable and exposed.

After about half an hour of Meredith crying off and on, Addison heard her breathing even out, signalling that she had fallen asleep sitting on Addison's lap.