CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: Hey everyone so this one kinda came out of nowhere today while I was listening to the song "Desire" by Bob Moses & Zhu, great song by the way from one of my favorite artists. Anyways so I'm listening to the song and this entire story just played out in my head so I just had to write it and I think this turned out pretty good. I've never written a song fic before so this was uncharted territory, because of that I'm intrigued to see what you all think of this thing.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: So this is the first story i've ever had a beta for so i'd like to thank nevr for taking a look at this and correcting a few things... and because he didn't think it was god awful so that's cool lol. All the content is my own so if you hate it well it's my fault not his lol.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: If you're interested in listening to the song then go to you()tube / watch ?v=cRSqM-67EiE

CHARMING'S ADDITIONAL AUTHORS NOTE: I've decided to cut all of the lyrics out of this story to make it more compliant with the rules of FFN, I care about this story too much to lose it over something like that.

I Don't Want Your Desire

A Story By

CharmingCharles2896

Chapter Inspired by the Song

Desire by Bob Moses & Zhu

Chapter One

I Don't Want Your Desire

"Chuck," Came the silent whisper, "Chuck wake up." Came that same whisper again; Chuck stirred in his bed at the familiar voice, a voice he never thought he'd hear again.

"Sarah?" Came Chuck's sleepy voice as he looked over and saw her silhouette in the darkness of his room. Chuck sat up in bed slightly as he heard her quiet sniffles.

"I couldn't just leave." She said meekly. "I couldn't leave without telling you." He could hear her voice begin to crack; Alex Forest had handed in her results from the 49B and Sarah had been officially removed from Team Intersect permanently. Officially she was barred from any further contact with her former asset, but she couldn't just slip away.

"Telling me what?" Chuck asked nervously, not knowing if he wanted to hear what he felt he was about to finally hear.

"I… I lo… goddamn it, why is this so hard?" Sarah said sadly as her emotions got the best of her; Chuck's eyes grew wide as he understood what she was trying to say.

"I love you Chuck." Sarah croaked out in the darkness. "I couldn't leave without telling you that I've loved you all along." Sarah said regret filling her voice; they'd wasted so much time and now that she was finally vocalizing what had been in her heart since day one, it was too late.

"I love you too Sarah," Chuck said with an equal amount of emotion, "You shouldn't be here, you could get in serious trouble." Chuck said nervously, still looking out for her even now in their final moments together. Sarah shook her head no, as the tears began to fall down her cheeks.

"No, I had to do this; I couldn't just leave this." She said as she tried not to let her despair flow from her like a bursting dam.

Chuck and Sarah leapt at each other, their lips crashing together in an explosion of desperate passion. They both knew this was wrong, that this wouldn't make things any easier.

"We shouldn't be doing this." Sarah said as she pulled her shirt off and crawled into Chuck's bed. Chuck let out a primal growl as his hands explored her body.

It all felt so damn good, their bodies intertwined beneath the comforting weight of the covers shielding them from the harsh realities of the future. Each touch was like a jolt of lightning, each kiss and playful nibble was like a raging fire that simply kept building and building.

"I don't fucking care." Chuck growled as anger took ahold of him, an anger at the world for taking the best thing to ever happen to him away from him. He was angry that once again it wasn't about what he wanted, but most importantly he was angry that Sarah wasn't going to feel love like he could give her anymore. He knew she would never love again after this and to be honest he didn't know if he could love again either. Chuck grabbed Sarah and flipped them over so he was on top and looked in her wild eyes in the pale glow of the moon.

"Shut up and kiss me." She growled back at him as he dove in headfirst and devoured her with his love, with his passion.

It was cathartic, therapeutic, tragic; as the two of them laid naked on his bed sweating and panting from their amorous activities the reality of what lay ahead hit both of them hard at the same time and neither of them could stop the tears from flowing. Chuck was just thankful that Ellie and Devon wouldn't be home tonight so they didn't have to hear this. Chuck held Sarah tight as the two of them sobbed loudly into each other's comforting embrace. This wasn't fair; why did this have to happen to them? It was as if the universe wanted neither of them to ever be happy again.

For Sarah this wasn't how she thought it would go; she'd always imagined a tender and loving first time with Chuck, but with the events of the previous few days that was an impossibility. This had been angry, filled with rage, their lust and anger had exploded from the both of them in a frantic moment that left the both of them feeling empty afterwards. She didn't want to go; she wanted to stay and be loved by him for the rest of her life. She couldn't be the spy she once was any longer. She wouldn't survive out there and she feared what her future had in store.

"I don't want to go Chuck; we wasted so much damn time." She said before her sobs into the crook of his neck resumed; Chuck simply nodded in agreement.

"So much time." He croaked out as his own tears continued to flow; a part of him was dying in this moment and he knew he would never love another person like he loved Sarah.

"If I could do it all over, I would have told you so many times; I had so many chances to tell you!" Sarah screamed despairingly as she squeezed him tight and let her emotions continue to pour out. Chuck ran his hand through her hair hoping to calm her, but found that hearing the utter despair in her voice broke his heart even more.

"I'm never going to love again Sarah; it just hurts too much." Chuck croaked out as he tried to regain his composure. Sarah shot up and looked at him in shock.

"You can't do that; you have to move on Chuck, you have to live your life." She said with red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"What's the point in living if everything I ever wanted was taken from me?" He said as he sat up with a truly broken facial expression; it was his turn to bury his head in a comforting embrace and he did just that. Sobbing loudly, heart-rendingly into her caring embrace as the true weight of his loss began to sink in.

"You have to move on; please try to live your life Chuck, do it for me." Sarah begged him as she ran her hands through his luscious curls, maybe for the last time.

"I can't, nobody will ever come close to you Sarah; how can I love someone else when I've lost my chance at my soul mate?" He asked her, her heart broke even more as she heard his words. He was going to be alone the rest of his life, because nobody would ever live up to her?

"Chuck please, try; just try to love again." Sarah begged once again desperate to see any glimmer of hope for the man she loved. The truth was she wasn't going to be able to love another man ever again after this wonderful assignment in Burbank. She was never going to be able to be with another man again, because her heart belonged to Chuck Bartowski.

"Whenever you get done with the CIA you come find me Sarah; I'll be waiting for you to come home." Chuck said to her as he tried to pull himself together. Hearing that broke her heart because she knew the truth, there was no possibility that would ever happen.

"Chuck, I'm not coming back; this is the last time we'll ever see each other. More than likely I won't even have a life after the CIA. I'm not the person I was before I came here; I won't survive out there Chuck." The reality of her words were shattering to Chuck, she didn't think she'd survive the CIA. Sarah Walker expected to die a CIA agent long before she could even contemplate a life after the agency.

"Don't talk like that! You're Sarah Walker goddamn it, you are going to be fine." Chuck said defiantly; Sarah's face fell, he was always so hopeful, but the truth was that she wasn't going to survive this.

"When agents get to this point, when they lose that edge that made them great in the field, they usually get killed rather quickly. I doubt I'll live six months to be honest, but that's out of my hands now. I guess I need to get going, before anyone sees me here." Sarah said as her heart broke even more; the meaning of her words finally hit Chuck and it broke him. She didn't just expect to die; she welcomed it at this point.

"Stay here Sarah, you don't have to die; please just stay with me." Chuck begged as she stood up to get redressed; the tears resumed flowing as he saw her walls going back up. Chuck quickly redressed as well and watched her close herself off. Once she was ready to go, she went back to the love of her life and hugged him gently and whispered into his chest.

"I love you always Chuck, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." She said as she went to pull away.

"Please don't go Sarah, please just stay." Chuck begged one last time, hoping, praying to change her mind.

"I'm sorry Chuck, your safety is too important so I've got to go." She waved goodbye to the man she loved and retreated out of the Morgan Door and out of Chuck's life for good. Chuck collapsed onto his bed and whatever was left of his heart broke as his anguished cries resumed in earnest. His heart was breaking and he doubted it would ever stop.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #4: So I know it's sad, but it just kind of happened to be honest; I really want to know what you all think of this one so please feel free to opine by leaving a review. Please tell me what you think of this song fic, i've never written one before so if you like this and want more of these please tell me.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #5: So i've got several different one-shots in the works such as "The Set Up", "In Vino Veritas", "Stay Awake With Me", & "Sisterly Advice" that I think i'll be finishing in the next few weeks. When it comes to "Contrition" I'm finding it extremely difficult to write that one; it's such a drag on my mental health and the regular updates every week is just untenable with my schooling. So going forwards I'll be posting "Contrition" on the Thursday of any week whenever I get a chapter done. I'm sorry, but no more weekly updates for "Contrition".

UNTIL NEXT TIME :D