Chapter 11
Dinner had been a pleasant affair. They all had managed to fit in the breakfast nook, and the conversation had ranged from school, to soccer, to movies. When they had finished their ravioli, Rainbow helped Star Weld with clean up, making it relatively quick. As they put the dishes away, Fluttershy tentatively summarized the day's events.
"Wow. So you guys have no idea why Rarity refused to sleep?" Star asked, his brow wrinkled with concern.
They shook their heads.
"I tried sending a text to Pinkie Pie," Rainbow said. She checked her phone, then held up the display in disappointment. "Still haven't heard from her…"
"It'll work out," Star Weld assured them. "Meanwhile, if there's anything I can do to help Rare, just let me know. All of you girls—you're like family. That's a fact."
Rainbow clapped him on the shoulder. "Thanks, man."
"We'll let you know if there's anything you can help with, Star. Promise," Fluttershy said with a warm smile. "Why don't you get some rest? Me and Rainbow need to get started on her project before it gets any later." She glanced at the cuckoo clock. "Oh my! It's already ten o' clock!"
Star yawned and stretched. "Man, I'm beat!" He smiled sleepily and waved as he trudged toward his room. "Good night, guys. And good luck."
After the man left, Rainbow Dash retrieved her textbook from her car and met Fluttershy in the girl's room, feeling glad she was prepared for once. The feeling was short-lived. As she sat at her friend's writing desk, her textbook open to the chapter on behavioral neuroscience, she found her eyes kept crossing. She'd read the same line over and over:
Behavioral neuroscience is an interdisciplinary field dedicated to the study of the underlying biological basis of human behavior.
That was the first line in the first chapter.
Rainbow scrubbed hard at her face, her body leaning back in the antique wooden desk chair. The wood creaked beneath her as she let her head fall back and stared up at the ceiling. She twisted around to look at Fluttershy behind her. Her companion was sitting cross-legged on the bed, her own psychology book open in front of her, a journal and pen in her lap. She had said she was outlining the rest of the first chapter for the report. Rainbow was a bit confused that it would take someone this long to outline one chapter, but then again, she couldn't even finish the first paragraph with any solid understanding of the material. She supposed it was just that dense.
Even if I finish this report, there's no way I'll pass the presentation… She thought with some despair.
"Hey Flutters," Rainbow said, turning the chair so that it faced the bed.
"Hmm?" her friend looked up, her blue eyes fluttering.
"Can I see that song you started writing? My brain is frying. I need a break!"
Fluttershy stiffened. She tapped her pen on her paper and her gaze shifted down. "Rainbow, we've barely been at this thirty minutes!"
"So?" Rainbow returned irritably. "I have a month to do this stuff! The project just covers a few chapters, not the whole book." Her knees bounced and she pouted her lower lip, hands clasped before her. "Puh-leaaase?"
Fluttershy sighed heavily. With pursed lips, she set her journal aside and twisted around to pull out the drawer of her bedside table. With a small grunt, she managed to reach inside and pull out another journal. Facing forward again, she grasped it in both hands, her face tensed with worry and her eyes fixed to the front cover.
Rainbow arched an eyebrow and stood to her feet. Slowly, she went to the end of the bed, and leaned onto the mattress. "Shy?"
Fluttershy looked at her and swallowed hard. "Um, yes. Just a moment." She flipped open the journal and turned the pages one by one, the paper cracking as they slid along the bent spiral binding. "Like I said before, it's not… It's not finished."
Rainbow Dash shrugged. "That's okay."
The other girl stopped turning pages and folded the left side back. She bit her lip and locked eyes with Rainbow. "Here it is." She handed the journal over.
Rainbow took it, her brow furrowing thoughtfully. "Did you have a melody in mind yet?"
Fluttershy hugged herself, her spine curling. "Some basic chords. G, D, and C."
"You like that chord progression too much," Rainbow teased with a grin.
She received a pout in response. "I like songs in major key! Anyway, it's harder for me to come up with a melody bigger than three chords in my head. It's not like you with a guitar. Even when I test things out with my voice, it feels limited."
Rainbow Dash winked. "That's one way I can help!" She straightened and looked at the journal page. "Let's see what we got here."
She read to herself with puckered lips.
I want to be more
Than these sideways glances
Little sighs
And wasted chances
Lonely bus routes
Part-time shifts
Whispered words
And weak slim wrists
I want to be there
When you're tired and small
When lights fade
And the curtains fall
The well-wishers leave
The fear grows
Costumes slough
And the doubt shows
It's true
It's true
You never know
The sum of us may never show
The things we chased but couldn't see
But to hope, is to sometimes breathe
Rainbow blinked at the neatly written words, her face slackening. She felt vaguely faint, her skin breaking out in gooseflesh. One hand reached up to cover her mouth, but it only rested there for a moment before it nervously planted itself on her hip.
Clearing her throat, Rainbow Dash asked huskily, "Who were you thinking of when you wrote this?" Her eyes found Fluttershy's and held them. Her heart was hammering hard, but she made every effort to maintain an appearance of calm.
I want to hear her say it.
Fluttershy took a breath, her lips twitching like she was about to say something, but she stopped herself. Rainbow's jaw tightened.
Come on! Just say it, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy paled as Rainbow read her song, an antsy feeling creeping into her legs that begged for her to get up, move, run. She remained frozen on the mattress, aware of every inch of her skin—the way her muscles seemed to clench, ready to react in some primordial response to what her mind perceived as a threat. This wasn't how she had imagined things going when she had started the song. She'd written draft after draft, tossing pages into the bin until it practically spilled over, and with each pass of her pen, she had envisioned a more prepared revelation of her feelings. Every detail would have been accounted for—the time, the location, the lighting, and of course, the song would have been finished. But there was Rainbow Dash with her incomplete, unworthy declaration of her feelings, and the fateful mystique of her designs collapsed in one swift moment.
Then came that horrible question:
"Who were you thinking of when you wrote this?"
You.
But the word stuck in Fluttershy's throat, refusing to make the perilous journey over her tongue and out of her mouth.
Rainbow frowned and went to sit on the edge of the bed, closer to her. "Fluttershy, you've never written anything like this before. I'm just… I wanna know what inspired you. It's a person, right?"
Fluttershy inhaled deeply, trying to dredge up courage. When she spoke it was in a shallow whisper: "It's someone special to me."
"Okay. So…" Rainbow wheeled her hands with an air of impatience. "Who is it?"
Fluttershy felt the heat of embarrassment conquer the cold fear that had initially gripped her. She looked away, letting her hair curtain her face.
I can't tell her now… It's too soon!
That's when she felt Rainbow grab her knee. Startled, her head whipped around and she was shocked to see the other girl was leaning in close, her rose pink eyes wide and searing.
"Fluttershy, just tell me," she murmured.
Fluttershy shivered. Rainbow's low, rough voice struck a deep chord within her…
It rang with fear.
Rainbow Dash's grip squeezed. "Fluttershy—"
"I-it's Bulk Biceps!" the animal lover blurted. Her face lengthened as she felt her heart drop.
Why did I say that!?
Rainbow let go, her face twisting. "What?" She stood to her feet. "Bulk Biceps? That meathead juicer?"
Fluttershy flashed a scowl. "That's not very nice, Rainbow!"
Rainbow threw the journal down onto the bed. "There is no way you're crushing on that guy. I just don't believe you!"
"Why not?" Fluttershy replied with surprised indignation, her petite hands clenching into fists. She considered Bulk a friend and disliked hearing him insulted, even given the situation. "Bulk is a very gentle person, and we share a lot of interests!"
Rainbow stared at her as if she were crazy. "He's part of the powerlifting team. His idea of a good day is eating a rare steak, lifting four hundred pounds, and having someone compliment his quads. What the heck do you two have in common!?"
Fluttershy faltered, her eyes glazing in thought. "H-he likes animals!"
The athlete crossed her arms. "Butterflies scare him," she said flatly. "He's over six feet tall, nearly two hundred pounds of pure muscle, and a butterfly scares him."
Fluttershy was feeling stomach sick. She could feel sweat beading along her hairline.
I just keep digging myself in. I have to tell her I don't really like Bulk. She doesn't believe me anyway, and I'm sounding ridiculous!
Yet admitting to her lie would mean the question of who the subject of her song really was could be brought up again. After all the fuss, Fluttershy couldn't sweep it under the rug with some general excuse. The lyrics were clearly romantic in nature. If only she hadn't admitted that it was based on anyone she knew. The desperation to escape a premature confession, especially under such circumstances, spurred her further into her flimsy deception. "He's in shape!" she spouted in a quavering voice.
Rainbow Dash made a face. "Just because he's stacked doesn't mean he's that great. His cardio sucks! He goes to my dad's training facility. I can run circles around that guy!"
"Rainbow why do you—" Fluttershy's brow furrowed.
Wait a minute…
Tentatively, she said, "Bulk also took a masseuse course with me in high school."
Rainbow snorted. "So?"
Fluttershy uncrossed her legs and hugged her knees to her chest. Taking a deep breath, she sputtered, "H-he gives great shoulder rubs!" Then she hid her face in her knees and waited for her world to end.
Rainbow sneered. "He took a masseuse course, and that's the one thing he's good at? How lame!" Then she stiffened, her nose wrinkling as her abdomen clenched. "Wait, you let Bulk Biceps give you shoulder rubs?"
Fluttershy said nothing, though she dared to peek up through her pink hair.
Rainbow Dash's jaw clenched. She pointed irately toward the end of the bed. "Move over!"
Fluttershy lifted her head just enough to stare at her.
"I said move over!" Rainbow gestured impatiently for Fluttershy to scoot down. "I'm going to sit behind you."
"What for?" her friend whimpered.
"To show you what a real shoulder rub is, that's what!" Rainbow Dash snapped. "Now come on, featherbrain, move it!"
Fluttershy squeaked and hurriedly moved down the bed. Rainbow flopped down behind her, cracking her knuckles. "Okay, ready?"
The other girl peeked over her shoulder, her drawn face and glassy eyes signaling she was more than a little disoriented. The athlete suspected her confusion was likely overriding whatever anxieties she might protest with. "Um. Yes?" the shy girl squeaked.
Rainbow took a breath to quiet her own nerves. Carefully, she reached up and laid her hands on Fluttershy's shoulders. Her friend flinched under her touch, making her lift her hands. Then she scowled and returned them, her fingers kneading Fluttershy's tight muscles.
"Relax. You act like I'm going to eat you," Rainbow muttered irritably.
"Rainbow, forgive me," Fluttershy breathed. "But this is extremely out of the ordinary!"
Rainbow's fingers slowed to a stop. "Is that bad?"
Fluttershy's head turned a quarter to the side. With a trembling hand, she reached up and pulled her long pink hair over one shoulder, giving Rainbow better access to her shoulders. "It's not bad," she said. "I'm just not used to it."
Rainbow let out a little sigh of relief, her hands resuming their work. "You've had a rough day. You probably could use with some loosening up."
"I suppose that's true…"
"Let's talk about your song to help take your mind off things."
"O-okay," Fluttershy said. Rainbow could feel her friend's shoulders twitch under her hands. "Did you like it?" she asked nervously.
"I did," Rainbow murmured. She let her hands trail down to between Fluttershy's shoulder blades where she found yet another knot of tension. Firmly, but gently, she let her thumbs massage the area in small circles. "I like the pattern you were making. The rhythm might need a little work, but you might find a way to pull it off like it is."
"What did you think of the lyrics themselves?" Fluttershy whispered.
Rainbow pursed her lips. "You didn't write that song for Bulk Biceps," she said flatly. "But…whoever you wrote it for, I think they'd like it. The things you say—" she cleared her throat and shrugged. Forgetting that she was only supposed to be giving a shoulder rub, Rainbow Dash let her hands trail further down Fluttershy's back as she sought to work away the stress in her friend's body.
Fluttershy looked at her over her shoulder, her brow tensed. "Rainbow?"
Rainbow slowed her ministrations as she met the other girl's questioning gaze. She tried to roll the nervous energy out of her shoulders, and afterward let her hands trail their way back up Fluttershy's back. This made the other girl shudder. Rainbow's eyes turned lidded and her breathing slowed, just like it had back at the dressing room in the mall.
"Fluttershy, the things you say are honest," Rainbow finally managed to say. Her voice was raspier than usual. "It's what you feel, and it's like… I dunno. All net."
"All net?"
Rainbow chuckled roughly, her hands rising up to knead Fluttershy's shoulders again. They didn't feel quite as tense. "Like from basketball. Y'know. A perfect shot? Doesn't touch the rim at all, just… Swish. Points scored."
"Oh…" Fluttershy ducked her head, and Rainbow could see her neck redden.
Rainbow grinned, and because she was feeling bold (and not a little mischievous), she scooted closer, snaked one arm around Fluttershy's torso, and whilst leaning forward, grabbed the lyrics journal from in front of her friend. Her cheek brushed Fluttershy's as her body pressed into the other girl's back. The pleasant shampoo scent of lavender and mint assailed her again. She could hear her companion's breathing turn uneven as she brought the journal up in front of them both.
Rainbow reached up and tapped a line. "This is bothering me, though."
She turned her head a little to see Fluttershy frown. "'Weak slim wrists?'" her friend said.
"Yeah." Rainbow Dash grabbed Fluttershy's wrist and stroked the underside with her thumb. "Your wrists are slim but they aren't weak. It's false advertising."
Fluttershy twisted around to bat her eyes at Rainbow. "Rainbow I'm not strong at all."
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Didn't I already tell you how good of a tambourine player you are? Do you know how much stamina a person needs to keep shaking that thing? It's all in the wrist!"
A tense giggle. "You make it sound like I'm a tennis player!"
Without thinking, the tomboy said: "You'd look amazing in a tennis outfit."
Rainbow Dash blushed as she felt all her massage work vanish when Fluttershy tensed against her. Hurriedly, she stammered out, "Uh, like, because you're always wearing skirts and stuff! And, y'know, you have nice legs, so they look super great, even outside of a, uh, tennis outfit. So it's like…yeah."
They stared at each other for a moment longer. Rainbow swallowed audibly.
Unable to take it any longer, she extricated herself from her friend and jumped off the bed.
"Anyways!" she said with a great big exhale, "I was thinking that maybe I could try and write the next verses for you." She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the skin there burning hot. "If you don't mind me giving it a shot? I mean, I know it's your lovey-dovey song to 'Bulk Biceps' and all, but…"
Fluttershy gazed up at her, lips parted, tension around her eyes and her cheeks a bright pink. She seemed to snap out of whatever stupor she had fallen into, and wrestled her features into something more neutral. "N-no! No, no! That would be wonderful, Rainbow Dash! You always brought a spark to my songs that I always lacked before."
Rainbow nodded. "Cool!" She picked up the journal. "And don't worry. I won't turn it into a joke."
Fluttershy bit her lip and lowered her gaze. "I appreciate that."
Another awkward pause.
Rainbow Dash pointed back at the desk. "I was having some trouble understanding this chapter. Do you think you could—?"
Fluttershy perked up, her eyes widening. "Oh! Goodness, of course." She rose from the bed, and together they went to the desk. "You're on chapter one, right?"
"Yeah," Rainbow groused, a dark scowl crossing her features. "It's the one on behavior… Behave—" she growled. "Behave-yor-al—"
Fluttershy smiled sympathetically as she sat at the writing desk. "Behavioral neuroscience. What part didn't you understand?"
Rainbow grimaced. "All of it."
It was close to midnight by the time Rainbow left Fluttershy's home. She half wanted to ask if she could just sleep on the couch, but she didn't want to take advantage of the hospitality.
As she drove back to campus, Rainbow Dash kept the radio turned off, her brow furrowed as she took the long way back. Her thoughts wandered, winding into dark brooding valleys, and climbing high mountains of optimism. She wondered about Pinkie Pie, whom she still had yet to hear back from. She worried for Rarity, feeling certain on some instinctual level that what kept her friend from sleep was a threat of some kind, and she very much wished she could vanquish it.
Then of course, there was Fluttershy.
I'm supposed to convince Shy to do my project for me by the end of the week. Tomorrow's Thursday, and I have to cut out of practice early. I can't ask for more time away from soccer than I already have… But I don't want to do this to Fluttershy. I hate having this slimy agenda.
Rainbow Dash struck her steering wheel, her teeth bared in frustration. "Damn!" she hissed.
How could I have screwed up so bad to get in this position? They already make classes easy for athletes. Did I need a remedial course or something? Am I that stupid?
She sagged in her seat as she came to a red light.
I must be. I can't even read the textbook without someone translating it to me. Fluttershy may be able to do my report, but she can't do my presentation for me. Does Dr. Axon really expect me to talk about stuff like neuroscience like I have a clue what I'm saying?
Rainbow rubbed at her eyes with both hands, a low groan emitting from her throat.
The sad part is, I'm really having fun with Fluttershy. She's cute, and nice, and somewhere between now and high school, I think she picked up a bit of Rarity's sass, but none of her snootiness. She's still scared, and she's still shy, but it's like… She let her hands fall away, and realized with a jolt that the light had turned green. Luckily, there were no cars that she was holding up, so she accelerated without hurry. Absently, she smiled. It's like Fluttershy wants to come out of her shell.
As the glow from the streetlights ghosted over her and the car, Rainbow's smile waned. Why did she have to lie, then? Her brow furrowed. That song wasn't about Bulk-freaking-Biceps! I don't hate the guy, but he's all wrong for her! Why did Fluttershy tell me she wrote that song to him? She wrote it for me… Right?
As she entered the university streets, her thoughts devolved into increasingly broken, frustrated ideas that ranged from confused attempts at rationalizing (Do Flutters and Bulk have a class together, or something?) to outright insulting the guy she claimed not to hate (That big dumb snarling muscle bag!) By the time she had parked and entered her dorm room, Rainbow Dash was fit to burst.
She threw herself onto her bed and groaned loudly.
Sunset Shimmer, who had been asleep in her own bed, sat up with a start. "Wha-huh!?" She squinted in the dark at Rainbow, who sat up on her mattress. "Oh. Dashie. You're back." She yawned and laid back down.
Rainbow bounced her knees, her eyes fixed on Sunset's vague shape across the room. "Sunset, you won't believe what Fluttershy told me," she said.
"Yeah? And what's that?" Sunset mumbled.
"She says she's crushing on Bulk Biceps," Rainbow spat through her teeth.
Sunset lifted her head. "Bulk Biceps? From Canterlot High?"
"That's the one."
"But they have nothing in common!"
Rainbow jumped to her feet, pointing excitedly at her roommate. "Right!? That's what I told her! She was lying to me, Sunset!"
Sunset sat up and turned on her bedside lamp. She squinted in the soft warm glow, her hair tousled and her pajamas askew. Crossing her arms, she raised an eyebrow at Rainbow. "Why would Fluttershy lie to you about who she likes?"
Rainbow threw her hands up into the air. "Heck if I know!" She started pacing between their beds. "Maybe she freaked out and couldn't tell me the truth?"
Sunset tried to stifle another yawn, and failed. "Yah, tha souns like sumfin Shy wud do!"
"But of all the people she could have lied about liking, why did she pick Bulk Biceps?"
Sunset shifted a leg up so that she could lean on her knee with a fist in her cheek. Her eyes drifted shut. "If you know she's lying, then why are you getting so worked up about it?" she asked wearily.
"I'm not getting worked up over some roider like Bulk. No offense to the guy—"
Sunset snorted. "Too late."
"—But he's no good for Shy!"
"And who do you think is good for Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash?" Sunset mumbled, creaking open one eye.
Rainbow stopped her pacing to glare at her. "Huh?"
"You heard me. Who do you think is good for her?" She smirked. "You?"
Rainbow Dash felt her skin ignite with burning anger. She stomped toward Sunset's bed to loom over her roommate. "I'm like the World Cup compared to Bulk Biceps! He's not even good enough for one of those plastic participation medals they hand out to wimpy kids!"
Sunset Shimmer's only reaction to her friend's explosive outburst was to yawn again, then lie back down. "Oh. Cool. So then I guess all you have to do is show her."
"Yeah," Rainbow sneered, feeling ragingly satisfied at her friend's apparent acquiescence. "I will show her!"
"That's something you really want then? Just for you?" the other girl asked, her eyebrows lifting.
The athlete made a face. "Of course! This has nothing to do with the project! It's a matter of pride!"
"Sure it is." Sunset reached for her bedside lamp. Her hand paused on the switch as her gaze met Rainbow's. She was smiling now. "Maybe you should think about what you just said. I, meanwhile, am going to sleep. Good night, Dashie!"
As the room fell dark once again, Rainbow huffed and sat on her bed.
Think about what I just said? What is she talking about? I know what I said! I said I'd—
Her eyes widened, and she sat up straight.
"I just said I was going to try and seduce Fluttershy, huh?" Rainbow rasped.
"Eyup," Sunset replied in a decent Big Mac impression.