From an outside perspective, it was probably hilarious to see how much I hated standing still.

It's part of being a shinobi, after all, and I had based my entire life around the concept of shinobi. Ever since the Sandaime had explained to my brat of a five year-old self that you couldn't be a Hokage without first being a shinobi, it had established itself as the foundation upon which I laid the stones of my dreams. By the end of my life, Uzumaki Naruto and shinobi might as well have been the same thing- if there was anyone left in the world who could still think of one without the other, I didn't know them.

But gods help me, I hated standing still.

I could blame Kurama, if I really wanted to. Gaara and I hadn't been so different when it came to that- I'd had a better seal, but Shukaku had a hell of a lot less chakra than Kurama. Having an unconscious awareness of oceans upon oceans' worth of demonic chakra seething inside of you, held back by the tiniest slip of paper possible, would make anyone antsy after a while.

I could blame my mom, too. It had been her genes that passed the infamous Uzumaki vitality on to me, which couldn't have helped my temperament any more than it helped my chakra control. I could blame my whole clan for that, really. I could blame Kakashi-sensei, too, for showing up late to training every day and leaving me with nothing to do for hours on end. I could blame Jiraiya for not taking my apprenticeship seriously until the very last minute.

I could blame a lot of people. But that wouldn't make it any less my fault, and blaming other people for my own stupidity always made me queasy. The actual reason was pretty simple, anyway.

I was scared, so I ran away.

I'd never admit it to anyone besides myself and Kurama- and only him because I hadn't been given much of a choice when we'd crashed together into a single being- but Uzumaki Naruto existed in a perpetual state of terror. Not of the war, not of the demon locked in my gut, not even of the murderous woman who always seemed bent on killing me one minute and forcing herself onto me the next.

It would have been possible to conquer fears like that, at least. Maybe even exciting. That wasn't it, though. What I feared most, and what I feared always, was rejection.

It was something that had plagued me for as long as I could remember. First, with Konoha's people and their suffocating silence, driven by fear of a monster that the most powerful leader they'd ever known had only been able to stall. Then, years later, with my classmates, who I could never seem to strike the right tone with. I was always too annoying, too stupid, too Naruto for them to prioritize me over the other people in their lives.

And worst of all, with my first true friend. The girl who meant the world to me. The girl who made me the angriest and the happiest in equal measure. The girl who I loved.

The girl who left.

So I ran away. I never stayed still for more than a moment, to the point that I thrashed and shook and fell off my bed a few times every night. I came to learn that if I kept moving, there wouldn't be time for me to think about my life. There wouldn't be time to dwell. Uzumaki Naruto didn't dwell.

How hilarious it must have been for everyone to see me run away from my problems while screaming to the heavens that I'd never back down. I had certainly laughed when I realized it.

I might have cried as well. It had been raining that day, so it was hard to tell.

In the end, it had taken a lot more than a firm hand or a soothing voice to settle me down for more than a few seconds. It had taken a whole bunch of S-rank assholes, a dead god, and enough pain to lock up every muscle in my body. Not exactly what Iruka-sensei had recommended during his lecture on meditation, but I've never been a great listener.

It had been at that moment, while everything fell apart around my immobile self, that it had reached out to me. A gentle touch upon my brow, where the leaf of my headband would have been had they not taken it from me. A soft understanding, blooming from the new mark on my forehead and enveloping all of the world.

I had heard it called different things by different people. A natural enlightenment, a spiritual awakening, a sudden worldly breakthrough. I called it an apology.

I had been running away so fast for so long, that it hadn't been able to catch up to me.

I called it an apology instead of an enlightenment or anything like that, because I didn't really change after I made my new connection and escaped my near certain death. Not how you'd think, anyway. I still hated standing still, and I still fell out of bed every night. But that was okay now. Now that this new presence had finally caught up to me, I didn't need to be still anymore. It could keep pace with me as long as we were moving in the same direction.

That's probably the one thing that changed about me that day, and for the better. I started moving for the right reasons.

And every now and again, I could settle down if I had to.

"Wake up, idiot."

Like now.

I blinked seemingly bleary eyes open, peering down from the tree I had perched in. I registered Sasuke glaring up at me with a cute little scowl, and then threw my head back in a yawn that belied my absolute awareness. I stretched, twisted my neck left and right, and after cracking my back finally gave my teammate my full attention.

I could meditate when I had to, and for once I actually did. The understanding that I had reached with the world was still there, I could still feel it, hovering patiently just outside my grasp. But whereas back then I'd had the strength for it, but not the mindset, I now had the mindset, but not the strength.

Body and soul. Yin and Yang. Something told me this new life of mine was going to be frustrating as hell.

"What do you want, bastard?" I grumbled, falling lightly from the tree and landing in a crouch in front of my teammate. "Kakashi-sensei isn't here yet, so I can sleep all I-"

"Here," she interrupted, tossing a roll of cloth at me. I caught it, eying it curiously. It was a little bigger than my head, and was heavier than it looked.

"You got me a present?" I asked, shocked. I wracked my memories for anything resembling "gift from Sasuke" and came up predictably blank. Back then, the closest thing to a gift that Sasuke had given me...

I shoved that particular experience back in the dusty corner of my head where it belonged. It didn't bear thinking about now.

Sasuke rolled her eyes. "You said you wanted to see something from my clan's armory."

"Oh yeah!" I cried, tearing into the cloth wrapping with a fervor. During one of the handful of lunches that I had managed to wrangle the distant Uchiha into, the topic of one-sided conversation had fallen to the Uchiha district and all the cool shit that was still hanging around there. Her description of her clan's armory had gotten me pretty pumped.

I'd been hesitant to bring up anything related to the massacre at first, but at the same time I was well aware that if Sasuke didn't come to terms with it soon, things would fall apart just like before. The introductions we'd done for Team 7 yesterday had only enforced that.

I have a certain someone that I want to kill.

I unraveled the last of the cloth, and my negative thoughts fell away in an instant as I looked at the armor in my lap.

A pair of deep blue kote gleamed in the light of the rising sun, the uchiwa symbol emblazoned upon each one where the back of my hand would be. I turned one of the armored gauntlets over, inspecting the quality of the metal plates with a blank expression. My insides roiled with memories.

This... If every day was going to be like this, this second life was going to be harder than I thought.

"These aren't weapons," I finally decided, looking back up at Sasuke with what I hoped was convincing disgruntlement. Never mind the fact that these had in fact been my primary weapons against her damn sword while we were both abroad and constantly hunting for one another. She didn't know that. Not anymore.

"They're close enough," Sasuke said dismissively. "And they're the only thing I trust you not to break before the end of the day."

I allowed myself to bristle and snap back at her, falling into a routine that was both incredibly familiar and incredibly outdated. There were things missing, things that made my teeth grind and my chest burn. Little expressions, shared looks, and above all, ease. Ease in arguing over anything and everything, no matter how sensitive the subject. Ease in talking one moment and fighting the next.

Ease in combing fingers through the other's wild hair, in clutching each other so tight that neither could breathe, in throwing the other down and engaging in an entirely different kind of competition.

I growled. "Fine, fine! I'll wear the stupid gloves!" I yanked them on under Sasuke's smug, watchful gaze, unable to look her in the eye, or in the anywhere, really.

This was definitely going to be harder than I thought.

The world had been swept up in a sea of vibrant orange, and it was all I could do to maintain my self-control.

It was difficult to admit, even- especially- to myself, but I had become spoiled in my past life. After deserting Konoha, I had grown accustomed to life free from distractions like allegiance, duty, and Haruno Sakura. My life had been one of continuous conflict, and it had spoiled me beyond repair.

In particular, there was one person that I'd sought out whenever possible to quench my thirst for a good fight. One person that never backed down from me, no matter how infamous I became. One person that I could always count on for a clash that made my blood pound and my heart sing. One person that I never allowed to escape my advances, no matter what situation he happened to be in at the time.

Perhaps spoiled was the wrong word. It was probably more accurate to say that my past life had made me addicted to Uzumaki Naruto.

I was crouched in the shade of a tree, single-tomoe sharingan spinning slowly as I surveyed the multitude of blond shinobi crashing against Hatake Kakashi like waves upon a cliff side. Every few seconds one of my fingers would twitch, and the muscles coiled tight in my legs would spasm, urging me forward. I was itching to reunite his gauntlets with my blade- desperate, even.

It seemed that all it had taken to set my instincts off was a look at my rival-to-be in action. Playing by the rules, fighting with Naruto rather than against him... This was going to be harder than I thought.

"Sasuke!" A familiar girl's voice whispered somewhere in the branches off to my right. I scowled.

"What do you want, Sakura?"

God, how I hated this girl.

Down below, a small team of Naruto's clones anchored Kakashi to the ground, allowing what my sharingan told me to be the original to dash in and grab the bells at his waist. I watched as the elite jonin's chakra spiked for a split second, reaching out across the training ground to latch onto one of the clones at the back of the crowd, switching the two in an expert body replacement.

The suddenly switched clone cried out in surprise, thrashing instinctively against the other clones holding him in place, but the original gave him no time to be confused. Naruto latched onto the front of his clone's jacket, which was at about the same height as the bells had been, and spun around with a shout. The original heaved his clone through the air at Kakashi, and the rest of the clones present hastened to follow after the projectile shinobi.

My lips twitched at the unorthodox redirection of his forces. Not bad, idiot.

"Well, I just thought since Kakashi-sensei only has two bells..." Sakura said in a hushed voice, creeping through the branches until she was crouched all too close to me. "Maybe we could work together to get a bell?"

My eyes narrowed. If I remembered correctly, Sakura had made the same offer in my past life, and I had ignored it in favor of finding a better place to hide.

"And Naruto?" I asked this time. She scoffed.

"That moron? He's trying to fight a jonin head on! He'd just hold us back, right?"

My fingers twitched again, for different reasons. If only this girl knew all the grief she had caused, the pain and self-doubt she had hammered into the fierce blue eyes of the only man I'd ever loved. If only I could show her. If only I could watch the horror dawn as she realized exactly what she had wrought, exactly what kind of enemy she had made in me-

"S-sasuke?" Sakura squeaked. "D-did I say something wrong? Your eyes..."

I blinked, suddenly aware of the frenzied spinning of the tomoe in my eyes, and cut the chakra from my bloodline. I had already spent too much chakra on it, and I was only surveying the fight. This past body of mine was woefully low on chakra. That would have to change, and soon.

I had always known that my years fighting abroad had done far more for me than the years spent training by myself in Konoha, but I hadn't realized the difference in results was this stark.

"He's holding his own so far," I finally said to Sakura. And it was true. He hadn't actually gotten close to either of the bells yet, but he had forced Kakashi to put his vile orange book away so he could deal with the sheer volume of solid clones in play.

"He is? But he still hasn't touched Kakashi-sensei..."

"Then help him," I snapped. I shot from the tree, simultaneously fed up with the pink-haired girl and unable to hold myself back from the fight any longer.

I tore my straight sword free from its place at my hip and spun, gathering momentum enough to drive my target into the earth when I fell upon him with my blade. The chokuto, which I had grabbed as an afterthought while looking for the gauntlets I had given to Naruto, punched through my target's chest like rice paper, skewering him to the dirt.

The Naruto clone gave a single wet gasp, and dispersed into chakra smoke. I blinked.

Wait.

I looked up as the real Naruto cursed, jumping back from Kakashi and glaring at me. "What the hell, bastard!?"

"Hn."Honest mistake.

I rushed forward, sword held loosely in my right hand as I weaved through clones towards the jonin with the bells. The weapon felt wrong in my grip without any lightning to pierce with, or divine black fire to scour with. Without anything to enhance it, Kakashi would be able to counter it with whatever he happened to have in his flak jacket today. I'd have to fix that particular gap in my skills as soon as I got a solid grip on my elemental manipulation again.

Resolved, I lunged forward, polished steel flashing in the midday sun. It was a sub par weapon for a sub par version of myself, but for now it would do. I swung, and its sharp edge cut true.

Another of Naruto's clones clutched its slit throat, crimson blood spraying through the gaps in its fingers. It dispersed before it hit the ground.

"Sasuke!"

... Damn it.

"We passed, we passed!" Naruto cried, throwing his arms up in jubilation as he danced about the bridge connecting training ground seven to the rest of the district. "And we totally kicked ass, too!"

Sakura shook her head at his antics, though she was smiling proudly all the same. Kakashi laughed lightly, reaching out to mess with his student's wild blond hair.

"Don't get too excited, now," the elite jonin said, smoothly dodging Naruto's attempt to swat his hand away and instead patting his shoulder. "We wouldn't want you to burn yourself out before the celebration, hm?"

Naruto, predictably, lit up at the mention of the lunch Kakashi had promised them for performing so well on the test.

"Right, food! Ah, what should we get, what should we get? There's ramen, barbecue, ramen with barbecue-"

"I don't like ramen," Sakura interjected. Naruto stumbled to a halt, the blood draining from his face. "I prefer sushi."

He shuddered, offering her a shaky grin. "Well, nobody's perfect, right?"

I snorted from my place in the back of the group, where I had been covertly basking in the glow of Naruto's excitement. Naruto's gaze fell upon me like a drowning man upon a raft. My heart beat just a bit faster.

"What do you think, Sasuke?" He asked desperately. I pretended to think about it for a moment.

"Sushi's fine."

I didn't really like sushi either, but his horrified expression was too good to pass up.

Kakashi smiled at Naruto's growing hysterics, nodding along in agreement. "Sushi it is!"

We made our way out of the training ground district and into the afternoon markets, alternating between scoping out stalls and making sure Naruto didn't run off to drown himself in cheap ramen. The streets were packed with civilians and shinobi alike, and I allowed myself to feel nostalgic as I took in the swinging paper lanterns strung up between buildings in preparation for one of the spring festivals. It had been a very long time since I had seen Konoha in such high spirits.

As much as I despised this place at times, it had still been my home at one point. Most of my happiest memories had involved this village, and if I managed to fix my past mistakes, the rest of them would, too.

Kakashi led us through the crowds, his bobbing gray hair a beacon amongst the waves of common colors. I forced my way through groups and couples of all sorts, making sure to keep my teammates in view in case either of them did something stupid. I watched with unveiled contempt as civilian upon shinobi upon civilian bumped into Naruto and then recoiled, expressions alarmed, uneasy, afraid.

Trash, all of them. What did he see in these people? What made him fight so fiercely to protect them? What made him stay? What made him choose them over me?

"Sorry! Sorry! My bad. Ah, careful with those! Sorry granny!" Naruto chanted, apologizing to every person that gave him an off look, smiling cheerfully all the way while I stewed in my indignation.

We arrived at a surprisingly high end sushi restaurant called Sushi Delight, and Kakashi quickly ushered us past the serious-faced attendant at the door. The attendant bowed deeply as we passed, and Kakashi inclined his head in turn.

"We'll be taking a booth today," Kakashi said, and the attendant nodded gravely.

"Of course, Hatake-san. I assume you'll be seating yourselves?"

Kakashi chuckled, pointing us towards an open table near the bar. "You know me too well, Okura-san."

We headed to the booth while he hung back to banter. Sakura slid into the left booth, giving me a tentative smile and patting the spot beside her. I looked to Naruto, who was eying the menus on the table with an anxiety I hadn't seen in him since that one time on top of the Hokage's desk.

I rolled my eyes and shoved him into the right booth, sliding in after him before he could respond.

"It's just fish," I said to his betrayed eyes.

"It wouldn't kill you to eat something healthy every once in a while," Sakura chimed in, hiding the small hurt that my rejection had inflicted. "You might even grow an inch!"

"So cruel, Sakura!"

"I'm just saying!"

"Alright then!" Kakashi said brightly, appearing seated beside Sakura in a body flicker. "I made sure to order a full platter, since Naruto said he was so hungry."

Naruto groaned in agony, and I smiled behind my bridged fingers.

Drinks arrived a few minutes later, and my mind began to wander while the rest of the team discussed the missions we'd be taking, the training Kakashi would be giving us, and so on. Kakashi was as tight-lipped about the whole thing as I remembered him being last time I asked, which meant our improved performance on his test hadn't changed his intentions to bury us in D-ranks at all.

My focus drifted, and, as had all too often happened since returning to this time frame, it drifted towards a very specific person. I stared down at my menu with hooded eyes, chin propped up by my linked fingers. Dark, ugly emotion writhed inside my chest, clawing and twisting my chakra into something obscene. My teeth clenched of their own accord.

This feeling... It had been plaguing me since my transmigration. Whenever my attention wasn't occupied with the timeline, or Naruto, or anything suitably pressing, it dug itself into me. Taunting me. Whispering to me. Testing me.

It had hit me all at once during our introductions to one another, when prompted for my dreams. My answer, even in the privacy of my own mind, hadn't been to fix my mistakes. It hadn't been to become a strong kunoichi. To my secret shame, it hadn't even been to protect the person I loved.

It had been the same as last time. To kill a certain someone.

Uchiha Madara.

"Sasuke?" Sakura asked. I twitched, registering everyone's sudden concern for me.

"What?"

"We asked if you'd like to start doing missions tomorrow," she said meekly. I closed my eyes, taking a moment to master my emotions, and nodded once.

"Fine."

"What's up with you?" Naruto asked, nudging me. "You got pouty all of the sudden."

My eyes flickered off to the side, unwilling to look at him while the memories brought upon by that feeling were still so fresh. Instead, I alighted upon a passing waitress, reached out, and plucked the slimiest piece of sushi from the platter. She walked right on by, oblivious. I turned back to my table and found Kakashi raising an eyebrow at me. I smirked.

Without looking, I jammed three fingers into Naruto's stomach, and when he gasped I shoved what I assumed to be a piece of seaweed-wrapped salmon into his mouth.

The blond shinobi slammed his head back against the wall in his haste to pull away, but it was too late. A strangled noise of pain tickled my ears, and this time I did look at him, just to see the way his face contorted in disgust at the texture. Sakura giggled and Kakashi laughed in amusement while he clawed at the roll of napkins wrapped around his chopsticks, looking for something to spit the pricey fish into.

"Sho shlimey!"

I settled my chin back onto my bridged fingers, silently thanking him for clearing my mood. For the time being, at least. I had no doubt that as soon as we parted ways that feeling would return at full strength, and I'd spend the rest of my day stewing in the events leading up to my transmigration.

It would begin with Madara, and it would end with Madara. Everything she had done to me, everything she had done to Naruto. The happiness that she had torn down, the pain that she had caused.

And the one she had taken from me.

Our own waitress arrived with an enormous platter of raw fish, and I steered myself towards eating, listening, and most importantly not thinking. For at least this one meal, I would focus on the living, breathing boy beside me, and not the drained, silent, lifeless-

I shoved another piece of sushi in Naruto's mouth, and latched my focus desperately onto the hysterics that followed.

This was going to be much, much harder than I thought.