AN-Shaeydyrllah: Hi, I realise that since ffnet doesn't have as extensive a tagging system as ao3, I should perhaps shed some light on this story. Whilst it may contain comedic elements throughout, this is something of a darkfic. I don't believe it warrants an 'M' rating as none of these elements will be explicit, but I figured I should give you a heads-up anyway for events that will take place in future chapters. If at any point in the future you feel this should be altered I am willing to heed such advice.
I have exams tomorrow :-( so I've finished the chapter off now, so I can focus on revision. I hope you're all safe and well XD
Chapter 2: Deadly as a knife it tears and buries
~*o0o*~
"You think that I want to play cupid?" Sarah had snarled at him. Her heart was hammering hard inside of her chest. She glared at him, awash with fury and embarrassment. "You make me sick."
How could she have been so stupid to hope she had been rid of him?
Jareth stalked towards her, eyes narrowed with contempt. "Sick are you, sweet thing?" He pressed the cool leather of his gloved hand to her forehead, making a soft chiding sound of pity. "You sicken me too." He bent his head down to murmur lowly in her ear; his unnaturally hot breath scorched her as she tried to squirm free of his grip on her shoulder.
"How you blight my lands with your insipid heroism." He whispered harshly, long strands of silver blond hair tickled her face. "How you twist and turn my world callously, to your liking." His laughter was cruel as he pulled back to watch her face flush with fury. "Do you think I enjoy having every half-wit in the Underground, vying to share my throne? Because they think an ineffectual little girl can't possibly stand in their way. All of this after they slighted me," he finished quietly.
"Long live the Champion." The Goblin King mocked. He rolled a crystal over the tops of his fingertips, allowing it to drop. It burst like a water balloon as it hit the table below, leaving a black and white checkered board. "Have you any idea, how long I have waited for them?" He hissed, "And yet, I predict it will only be a matter of days before you are crushed. Truly I don't know why the Labyrinth chose you!" His mouth was twisted into a venomous sneer.
"I don't think I'd ever truly hated anyone before I met you." Sarah's voice was oddly resigned.
"What a dull life you must have led before I entered it." Jareth's eyes pierced her, his expression unusually blank as though he couldn't fathom why she found anything he had said so distressing.
~*o0o*~
"I spy with my little eye," Sarah's eyes flickered around the musty study. The walls were lined with row after row of books, their spines engraved with strangely intricate swirls and loops that didn't resemble any language she was familiar with. She was hardly an authority figure on the matter of language. A handful of mandatory French classes from five years ago and the odd German curse word she'd picked up from Karen's maternal Grandparents, wasn't a lot to go off of. "Something beginning with..." Her gaze brushed past Lady Aline of the Tempest Trees, who was watching her with rapt attention and settled upon the smirking King, lounging languidly in his seat, perpendicular to the two of them occupying his bureau. "The letter B." She finished decisively.
Burdensome...belligerent...bastard...
Sarah reached across the Goblin King's desk and tore a sheet of paper out of one of his expensive leather-bound journals. Jareth merely raised an unconcerned eyebrow at her actions, watching her scribble the word in question down in her chicken-scratch handwriting.
"How many guesses do I get?" Aline swept her lavender curls away from her face, she followed Sarah's gaze intently. The fleeting fiancée frowned as she considered the Goblin Monarch; a startling lack of words beginning with 'B' came to mind.
Sarah shrugged, the sooner she got this over with and found the Goblin King a worthy spouse, the sooner she could be free of his schemes. "As many as you want."
The Goblin King in question released a small disapproving hum. "Do you intend to take your duties seriously, Champion?"
"Fine." She rolled her eyes, "Three guesses, that's the general modus operandi of magical bullshittery." Sarah scowled at the Goblin King as he twisted a single crystal in the palm of his hand, rolling it back and forth lazily. "Although, I suppose, just going off the first thing you say, with no consideration of intent is the done thing around here."
"Yes, that does sound more appropriate," Jareth interjected. "As far as magical, Labyrinth ordained challenges go. It is fitting. One guess it is, sweet Aline."
His guest's face coloured noticeably as she flushed under his soft words. Jareth's gentle smile transformed into something jagged and wicked as he switched his gaze to Sarah. "Anyone would think you didn't feel honoured to be my Champion."
Sarah sighed loudly and slumped down in her chair. It was a tacky thing, all red velvet and grandeur with no comfort. The Goblin King managed to remain regal and aloof as he sprawled in his chair untidily; she looked like she had the posture of an octogenarian.
"Champion," Sarah muttered bitterly, "It sounds so grand and magical. But all I really am is your glorified chaperone." She mangled the piece of paper in her hands. "The title has a lot of dramatic connotations for a role that could be better filled by your mother," she snapped.
Jareth's grin was feral; an inhuman light in his ice shard eyes sent an odd thrill of fear down her spine. "I don't have a mother."
"What? Like, you've never?" She was completely thrown by the wording of his answer. Surely not...
"Books," Aline announced. Her voice held an impatient edge as she sought to regain the attention of the Goblin King. Both he and Sarah blinked at the bride-to-be, or more accurately the bride-not-to-be.
"Well?" Jareth drawled, "Am I to be married, Champion?"
She suppressed a shiver at the sound of her title from his tongue; he crooned it as though it were the sweetest term of endearment he could conceive of. She hoped he choked on it.
I could pretend, she mused; there are certainly many books here that I have spied with both of my eyes. That should count for something.
Sarah didn't know what to make of the nervous expectation in Aline's eyes or of Jareth. The King of the Goblin's no longer looked relaxed. His body was made up of hard lines and coiled tension as a hairline fracture spread across the surface of the crystal he had been toying with. There was a familiar flash of red within the swirling depths of the orb.
"No," she relented. It might have been her imagination, but she swore that Jareth's shoulders lowered a fraction, out of relief? Disappointment?
At the end of the day she had too much pride to just let somebody beat her.
"No?" Aline repeated, "I've lost?" The soft-featured Nymph became incredibly tense, her face drawn and white. "My father...I can't go back...I can't tell him..." She trailed off tearfully. Which was far more than Jareth deserved of any suitor. Sarah couldn't picture how hard it must be to have familial expectations placed on her to win a King's hand in marriage.
"Uh, my condolences?" Sarah offered. She wasn't quite sure what the protocol was for a failed attempt at claiming a crown and the irritating baggage of a King that came with it. She smoothed out the piece of paper in her hands and started to fold it with intent.
Aline sobbed harder into her puffed sleeves.
I wouldn't be caught dead weeping over Jareth.
Of course, Jareth watched the scene unfold with a gloating expression that could be visible from the Aboveground. "There, there." He offered in a bored voice, yet his gaze did not flicker down to his miserable ex-fiancée. He was watching Sarah with a curiously warm look in his eyes.
I didn't do it for you. She stared back at Jareth, defiantly, I don't want to spend another minute down here with you, but I have standards.
I refuse to lose at eye-spy of all games.
"I do wonder, lovely Champion, of all the things in my study, what has caught your eye?"
Jareth plucked the paper aeroplane from the air as she sent it sailing towards him. He swiftly unfolded it, pausing for a long moment as he read the four-letter word. He let out an amused huff of laughter, turning delighted...no...proud eyes to her.
"For you, dearest Alina." The Goblin King pressed the paper into his former suitor's damp fist. She sniffed loudly before reading the content, too confused to try correcting her name.
"Bird?" Her wet eyes met Sarah's, accusingly. "There is no bird in here."
Technically it said birdbrain, but she'd elected to cross off the 'brain' part as she didn't yet have substantial evidence that Jareth possessed one.
A cruel sneer crossed Jareth face as he regarded Aline with what could only be classed paradoxically as hostile indifference. "Oh, is that so?" And so the Goblin King began to shift before their eyes, body contorting and compressing horrifyingly, as dark armour melted away into benign white and gold feathers.
The owl shot across the room and landed upon Sarah's outstretched arm. She didn't remember raising it, but there he was nonetheless, talons digging deep into her flesh beneath a flimsy cotton t-shirt.
Avian eyes bored into Aline's; he cocked his head and watched Sarah with the same unsettling intensity.
If girls were made of sugar and spice, and all things nice; Jareth was certainly born of wickedness and woe, and destined to be her foe; questionable lack of a mother notwithstanding.
Afterwards, neither of them talked about the soothing way she had dragged her fingers over his feathers, nor the way he had tilted into her touch.
~*o0o*~
"...really? But why just the left?" Sarah furrowed her brow as Letty gesticulated wildly with his clawed hands. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, somewhat alarmed by how routine her inexorable disappearances to the Underground had become.
One of her roommates had moved out again after they actually saw her vanish midair, or more accurately vanish mid-cooking breakfast at six in the morning. In her shock, said roommate hadn't had the sense to turn off the cooker, which had caused some issues when their whole building was evacuated and she had been notably absent.
Unfortunately, Imogene couldn't blame the tequila this time. Or the time after when denizens of the Goblin Kingdom visited and affectionately replaced hers and her roommate's socks with feathers and what they both dearly hoped was mud.
This is fine.
"Why are you sat on my throne, precious thing?" The Goblin King hissed the last two words at her like an insult. Which said something about her that she hadn't considered his normal penchant for pet names as demeaning as this.
Sarah's heart thudded loudly when she saw the Monarch's darkened expression. Perhaps her retaliation through the appropriation of his property had been taken a bit too far. Besides, it wasn't even a comfortable throne, all round-shaped and covered in a material that made her slide out of the seat every few seconds.
Letty squeaked loudly in alarm before fleeing, decided to forgo continuing their heated debate on the merit of whether one should steal one or both socks from a pair.
Coward.
She could hardly blame him. She rather felt like utilising her ability to vanish now there was no challenger tying her there.
"You have an appalling lack of furniture in here," she chided softly in an attempt to make light of the situation. "Would you have me sit on the floor?" Grimy smears remained on the flagstones from whatever poultry related fiasco had taken place earlier.
The fury in his narrowed eyes diminished, abruptly. He regarded her quietly for a long moment with his head tilted in a reminiscently avian manner.
"I suppose not," he conceded, a trace of mirth glinted from a sharp flash of jagged teeth. "I had not realised you felt so comfortable in my home, to the extent you would extend your stay past your...duties." His eyes followed Sarah as she awkwardly slid off his throne and edged forward, not one to be cowed by anyone. "Nonetheless, it will be my pleasure to accommodate your needs." His eyes flashed darkly, "However can I make you more comfortable?"
Sarah forced herself to look away from the magnetic draw of his gaze; it was akin to being dragged backwards through a black hole unwillingly. Not that anyone willingly seeks out black holes with the intent of being consumed, aside from the odd deranged scientist.
Was she the deranged one for wanting to spend more time down here, while the Royal Menace lurked about in the shadows?
"I dunno," Sarah mumbled, "Maybe put another chair in here. You do have guests from time to time, as we both well know."
There was a flash of something, hotly triumphant in his eyes as he smirked at her response. "I shall take it under consideration." He gestured for her to sit once more, which she did so gingerly, unsure if his mercurial moods would drive him to berate her again for taking his seat. "How was your most recent challenge, my dearest Champion?"
Sarah blinked in surprise as he seated himself on the curved edge of his throne, crossing his legs casually as he leaned into her. She tried to ignore the twinge of warmth that burned inside of her as he murmured her title; he was close enough that she could feel his body heat.
"Oh, um...Derrin?"
"Derrin." He spoke the name as though it were unfamiliar, as if she hadn't caught the Goblin King with his tongue jammed down the Siren's throat.
"I asked him to see which of the two of us could name the most American states within five minutes."
"Not the typical game you choose to play." The Goblin King mused, "And the odds were heavily stacked in your favour. I dare say it was not...fair," he breathed the last word directly into her ear.
Sarah shuddered and tried to move further to the other end of the throne. Jareth only smiled as she retreated, making no attempt to reach after her.
Bastard.
"I wonder what your basis for comparison is." Sarah mocked, adopting a pretentious faux-British accent. Could Fae be British? Maybe there were different regional accents Underground.
Jareth didn't seem offended in the slightest, peering down at her loftily from his higher position on the arm. "Why humanity of course; we are but a pale, shadowy reflection cast by Aboveground's indomitable sun."
Object and image.
That had rather intriguing implications. To what extent was a realm of dreams contingent on there being dreamers?
"It is cruel acts like those that make me wonder whether I shall ever be permitted a spouse." Jareth lamented, overdramatically.
"Just as I wonder whether I will ever be permitted to finish my shift at work without your future wife or husband interrupting me." Sarah shook her head sadly, although her words lacked any real bite to them. "I was running out of new ideas for games to play." She confided. Sarah pulled a folded up piece of printer paper from her jacket pocket. There was a list of numerous items, paired with images, some of which had crosses next to them. "There are only so many times you can play Cluedo before it becomes boring."
Jareth craned his neck to read through her list. At last, he tapped one of the items with his finger, eyes gleaming with intrigue. "What game is that?"
Sarah rolled her eyes at him. "That's Twister. And no, I've ruled that one out. I don't have the greatest balance."
"It looks delightful." He argued, grinning as he noted the small smile creeping across her face against her will. "I wouldn't be opposed to making it the official challenge for my hand in marriage."
"I wouldn't be playing it against you." Sarah scoffed; hoping if she inclined her head the right way, the long waves of her hair would obscure the blush painting her face. "The prize for winning is being able to marry you. I didn't think that even you were narcissistic enough to want to marry yourself."
"That doesn't mean I can't help you practice your...balance," he offered, generously.
~*o0o*~
Strangely enough, Jareth had been correct when he called her out on the challenge she had chosen. Next time she endeavoured to be fairer.
That's why she picked a task along the same vein as the prior one. Who could name the most goblins within five minutes?
It seemed the fairest task she could devise. After all, Jareth's future King or Queen should have knowledge of their citizens. Especially since the simplest of two-syllable names often eluded their Ruler's memory.
Poor Hoggle.
Except, she was quite sure he knew that particular name by now; the dwarf caused him enough grief.
Sarah couldn't have predicted how terrified she would feel when it came to counting those lists of names. How could she? From the moment she had been dragged back to the Underground to deal with the Goblin King's suitors she had felt little more than harassed and irritated.
But some good had come out of it. She could visit her friends more often.
Sarah hummed along to the ballad Sir Didymus was composing whilst Ludo bellowed something inarticulate but vaguely reminiscent of the tune to Gently Johnny. In retrospect, she felt quite embarrassed by how freaked out she was earlier.
Hoggle hobbled towards them carrying four cups on a wooden tray. She winced slightly as she accepted it, bemoaning the fact that both the cup and handle were made of a metal alloy. Whilst she could appreciate her friend's love of all that shined and glistened, its conductive properties made it a poor choice for a cup.
Sarah covered her fingers up with the edges of her sleeve and stared into the flames of the campfire. Perhaps it was a little silly to camp outside when Hoggle's cottage was a few metres behind them, but she didn't fancy her chances hiking into the Labyrinth and taking a nap.
Sir Didymus had warned her that the Sphinx often roamed around at night practising karaoke.
Maybe she should introduce Stacy to them.
Hearing Never Gonna Give You Up being yelled at you from afar whilst being pursued through a hedge maze was quite the experience.
"This is the twelfth time this week." Hoggle commented, "The Rat's been pretty popular, I guess."
Sarah hummed noncommittally, switching her attention to the skies above. It was quite a spectacle to behold, stars winking in and out of existence in increasingly elaborate configurations and patterns.
She swore for a moment there was a constellation that looked like John Lennon.
"His Highness is the most sought after bachelor of the Underground. It is so wonderful to have guests again." Didymus stated, "Perhaps I should compose an ode in the King's honour."
"Busy." Ludo agreed with a nod of his shaggy head. When he seated himself on the bench adjacent to them she could hear the wood crack and strain under the weight.
Seeing her friends wasn't the only advantage. There were many spectacular sights in the Goblin Kingdom, like the statue of a famous chicken, woven from black spider silk. And arguing with Jareth was almost entertaining, especially since she held such exquisite power over him, that he should marry or remain forever alone at her will.
Sarah still wasn't sure what Jareth's thoughts were on his impending nuptials. He often used the word impending, perhaps it evoked a greater sense of drama to the whole affair. Impending nuptials...impending doom...
He clearly enjoyed the attention and the ridiculous fawning from his suitors. He led them one by one through his castle grounds, disappearing for hours at a time. When he brought them before her they were starry-eyed and determined to beat her.
The sour churning in her stomach told her she very much didn't want to know what Jareth got up to with his ever-changing fiancés and fiancées.
And yet, he never seemed displeased when she won.
Sarah rather suspected he enjoyed seeing the exasperation on her face, every time she appeared in his throne room, golden lights preceding her appearance as each challenger bravely invoked the Labyrinth's wrath for the right to rule it.
There had been that one occasion where she had been called Underground thrice in one evening; not even the Goblin King's ability to reorder time could smooth over her disjointed interactions with her date. Thomas was understandably confused that his date's clothing kept changing and the large cut on her forehead was difficult to explain away.
Sometimes Uno could get a bit heated.
Part of her had become accustomed to this insanity. It was that part of her that had almost had a heart attack when she realised she had beaten Romi by only one name.
It was difficult to discern whether or not her opponent had been disappointed by the outcome, her whole body was a living flame that lacked any recognisable facial features. Sarah reckoned she had dimmed a bit upon her defeat, but that might have just been wishful thinking.
She had gripped those sheets of paper so tightly they had almost torn.
"Uh, Sarah?" Hoggle asked hesitantly, he alternated between gazing into his hot chocolate and casting her worried looks.
"Mmh..." She mumbled in response, taking a sip of her drink so soon had been a mistake. It would be days before she felt her tongue again.
"Why are you so insistent on defeating the challengers; if you lost a game you could get shut of him forever."
"I say!" Didymus sprung to his feet, sloshing his drink into the grass below him. "Lady Sarah has far too much dignity to throw away her duties as Champion, she must ensure our King's mate is worthy and fit to rule. She lives by her vows, as do I." He finished grandly, brandishing his sword wildly until he lost it somewhere in the fire pit.
"I don't recall making any vows." She corrected wryly. "But I guess you're right. It's a matter of pride; he did tell me that I'd be defeated within the first week." Sarah watched as the constellations shifted, shooting through the sky, make a wish, they urged slyly. "The Goblin King stole my brother and he drugged me; don't forget those death machines he sent after us!"
"Cleaners," Hoggle grumbled in agreement, suspiciously eager to skip over the whole drugging incident.
"His Kingdom decided to make me Champion, the least I can to is inconvenience him wherever I can." Sarah rationalised, "I can ruin his engagements whilst demonstrating he will never have power over me by crushing his challengers. That's two birds with one stone."
Hoggle shook his head, incredulously, "You've passed by killing two birds with one stone, and you're now brandishing a rock, smacking anything resembling a sentient being."
For better or worse this was her life now. If she failed and allowed Jareth to marry, she'd have no reason to be summoned.
No reason to taunt and bicker with him.
Putting it into those terms made it seem like a very unhealthy friendship. Did he even see them as friends?
Did she?
~*o0o*~