Dear readers,
Chapter 5 is finally here after an hiatus. I'd like to share with you the reason for the delay. Last August, my mother got sick, and she passed away in September. Although her health had been fragile for the last two years, and I had to take care of her, I didn't expect such an outcome, because she was still quite young. The grief and the stress took a toll on my mood and health, so I have needed some months to recover. Fortunately, I'm getting better, and I'm trying to find some comfort in writing.
This project will go on. Chapter 6 will be uploaded in two or three weeks. By the way, the total amount of chapters will range from 10 to 12, depending on the need to split some chapter because of its length.
Thanks so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, or favourited this story. In particular, I'd like to thank Morizono Kat, RashTeri, Avedici, and Nonexistent Existence. Here you've got my reply to the reviews, even when it comes so late. Firstly, the school will be featured here and in subsequent chapters, reaching a peak in chapter 7. Secondly, my favourite characters in canon are Minene and Akise. With Yuno I feel a mixture of attraction and repulsion (she is badass, her backstory the spine of the story, but I could not stomach how she killed Akise either). Redial made her more humane. Thirdly, almost every character plays some role in this fic, and some may be important in specific timelines, but the overall focus is on Yuno and Akise.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. Reading your feedback always makes my day, so let me know your opinion :)
Best wishes and stay safe.
Summary: School life, conflict, shadows of the past, and another player appears.
It could be a trap. It could be a lie.
Theme of Hijama Takao
5. Ghosts #1: Trust
Yuno expected the day at school to resemble a rollercoaster; instead, she finds herself ploughing through flats with neither a pit of boredom nor peaks of drama.
She smooths her way out of her classmates' questions about her prolonged absence. Yukiteru's empty desk has been moved to the back of the classroom. At the sight of it, bile rises to her mouth, a fleeting gut reaction which she shallows down easily enough. Then, Kosaka plays host and introduces Hinata to her, and Yuno succeeds in giving them a reply that doesn't betray her hostility. She bears the lessons, even enjoys practising her kanji. Mostly, she observes their homeroom teacher.
He has some nerve. He starts the morning by breaking up the news of the terrorist's demise so that Our city has avoided a serious threat, though you have to be careful because the serial killer who took away Amano-kun's life is still on the run. He preaches on without any crack on his veneer. Surely, she catches a certain inflection and a twitch in his jaw when he mentions Minene's death; after all, the routes in his diary have been warped because of this unexpected turn of events. Recalling his poor performance in other realities due to his paranoid nature, she expects a nervous breakdown that never happens—Hijama Takao remains his sensei persona all along, surprise English test included. During the test, he glances at Hinata, and the idea comes to Yuno unbidden: he has chosen his next victim.
From that moment on, she focuses on her, assessing if she is a knowing proxy of her father's; this has not been a constant. Several times she has suffered from Third's moonlight activities. In fact, Yuno herself helped Hinata to that fate in at least two worlds—Akise died in one of those traps. Or was it in another loop? She shoos away a shiver.
Lessons are over, and she is still wondering whether to mingle with Third's diary again or to finish him off and move on. Before she can decide, he asks Hinata to stay. Pretending she is tidying up her desk, Yuno eavesdrops on them: Hijama is telling the girl she might get changed to the classroom for advanced students, so she must fill in some forms. His eyes glimmer with sadism, and her decision gets clear. It doesn't matter if he is going after Tenth via his daughter, or she is just her kind of victim—he will be busy. The girl is no genius; having his next prey study in a different group from Yukiteru's looks like the real reason. Let Third enjoy a new killing spree. The only setback is Hinata attending lessons in the same class as Akise; Yuno frowns. Well, the transfer will take a few days, and his exam is tomorrow. After that, he won't be needing to appear at school at all.
She exits the classroom and nearly bumped into Mao, who waits for Hinata in the doorway like a statue in different shades of violet. Yuno grimaces; that girl is a lesser reflection of what she once was when she stalked Yuki. Instead of sympathy, the common plight ignites contempt in her. She has never been able to stand any of Yuki's wretched friends, even in the universes where they had not the chance to become actual friends.
Once, Akise was in that group. How things have changed!
She welcomes that change more than ever when she glimpses him in the hall surrounded by half a dozen of his classmates. She feels a surge of pride at watching him like that, the centre others gravitate towards, the one the others addressed as senpai. Let them buzz around him, he is mine, she thinks, a bit weary at the possessive. This romance must be manageable, and thoughts like that indicate otherwise.
The downside is that she doesn't really appreciate sociability in a boyfriend. But is he her boyfriend? They have not labelled their relationship yet. Her frown deepens. A pretty boy laughed at something Akise has said, and she is painfully reminded of the fact that he could love a person regardless of their genre. The frown turns into a dark scowl. Not a desirable trait for her, either. Enemies multiplied by two. If she loved him as she once loved Yuki, she would get mad with jealousy.
But I don't feel for him like that, do I?
He draws her out of her mulling and includes her in the group. She finds herself making some small talk, resuming social graces she left behind long ago, replaced by mistrust and manipulation. She enjoys the simple thing of engaging in a conversation like a common teenager. It is merely a delusion, but she savours it.
On the fringes of the delusion, Kosaka has taken Akise aside. The cocky brat is making a fuss about something. She steps towards them, catching the end of their exchange.
"Do you remember the essays I helped you with?" Akise said.
"Yeah, but it's too much. I don't want to get into trouble with my parents, you know."
"And the date I got you with Megumi-san? You were head over heels for her."
Kosaka hesitates. "Yeah, short-lived, anyway."
"And that idol figurine you couldn't get, not even on the Internet?"
Kosaka breaks into a boisterous laughter and gives him a small packet. "Okay, you've got me."
Securing the packet in his satchel, Akise seems shier than before. "I'll pay you back as soon as I can."
Yuno is right behind them and almost got slapped by Kosaka's expansive hand-waving. "Take your sweet time. King Kosaka is magnanimous and bestows his shining generosity upon his people!" More excessive gestures accompany his rant. As she dodges them, thinking of smacking up his toothy grin off his face, he notices her presence and mood. The grin withers. "Hey, Gasai, hello again."
She ignores him and approaches Akise. "Shall we go? I thought you wanted to study hard today."
He nods and excuses himself to Kosaka. "The library awaits us."
Kosaka ruffles and dishevels his dark bangs. "Hey, I didn't know you two get along. Well, I didn't have a clue you knew each other."
Before Yuno's curt reply can come, Akise weathers the storm. "We haven't known each other for long, but we've got rather close."
"That's awesome! Awesome, yeah." His enthusiasm wanes under Yuno's cold expression. "I mean, maybe we all can hang out together? You've yet to meet Hinata, Akise, she's cool. She's still with Hijama-sensei, I don't know what it's taking them so long."
"It's fine by me, I can meet her another day. See you tomorrow. And thanks again."
"King Kosaka to the rescue of his senpai!" he brags, showing off his shining grin. "By the way, cool tie, colour suits you."
Both Yuno and Akise smile warmly as they say farewell. They are wearing the gifts they shared yesterday. Their eyes lock for an instant, though there is an itch in Yuno's feelings.
"I think I've never heard Kosaka compliment someone else's clothes before," she says as they leave the school building and cross the yard on their way to the outer gates.
"That means your taste is exquisite," Akise replies with a wink.
She plays with a strand of her pink hair. "You could have told him it was a present of mine, so he could know my fashion taste's that good."
"Isn't it our secret?" His hand brushes Yuno's pigtails, where the new ribbons stay. "Our privacy isn't Ouji's business."
He is right. However, the itch doesn't disappear—a childish part in her wants their relationship to be acknowledged by everyone. Why hasn't he introduced her as his girlfriend? Is she his girlfriend actually? She walks to the bus stop in silence, the uncertainty grating her nerves. Is she returning to a teen mindset overcrowded with foolish concerns? Perhaps it is the price to pay for feeling normal again.
"Are you alright? You're too quiet."
The bus is nearing. She steels herself against teenage angst and pretends nonchalance. "I was thinking about that Hino Hinata. I didn't have the chance to investigate her thoroughly."
"Don't worry. We'll figure out a way tomorrow."
She hums in response. They head for the rear seats, where no one is around to pry on their conversation.
"She might be shifted to your class," she comments, hiding both her uneasiness at the idea and Hijama's actual reasons. The weird guilt she feels out of late at withholding information from Akise shows its ugly face.
"Oh. So, is she a brilliant student?"
"From what I know, her forte is sport. Her academic grades are average."
He raises one eyebrow. "Why the change, then?"
She shrugged, masking the damn guilt. "Parents' pressure? Her family is quite wealthy."
"It seems you've collected more information than you thought. Good for you. Cheer up."
She cannot help but return his smile. "Let's stop talking about that girl. By the way, what was all that deal with Kosaka about?"
"A loan."
It is Yuno's turn to lift her eyebrows in surprise. "What?
"I need quite some money, and I don't want to resort to my parent's emergency account again. Ouji owns me some favours, and his family is also wealthy. It's not really a problem for him to lend me some money."
She wants to tell him she could grant him whatever he needs by means of her godly gifts, but she bites her tongue. "The safe… It's my living with you. But if you need money, I can—"
"It's okay. It was a large sum and needed at once."
Her curiosity is piqued. "What for?"
He stiffens. "I can't tell you yet."
Full-on suspicion arises in her. "Why can't you tell me?"
He straightens first his tie, then his shirt. "I'll tell you soon. You must trust me, it's for our good."
"Another gift for me?" She fakes a playful tone. He looks way too serious to be talking about trifles.
"Not exactly, although it's something meant for you. Please, don't go on asking me."
She huffs, defeated and strained. "Fine, keep your secrets. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
He breaks the tension with a lighter tone. "In truth, I'm investing long-term. After all, you are going to be a goddess. You will be able to return my investment tenfold."
She breaks out laughing. "I see. First, no exams. Now, refunds. I'm starting to think everything you're doing for me is only because of self-interest."
Although he joins her, the stratum of sadness underneath his laughter doesn't appease her mixture of irritation and guilt.
...
There are several libraries in Sakurami, so Yuno is glad that Akise also favours the Ancient Archive. It was her library of choice when her interest in studying was genuine instead of a by-product of her mother's insane demands. The building, with its smell of antiques, its majestic hall and high ceilings, exudes an aura of regal power. It reminds her of the Cathedral of Causality, with the difference that this place breathes life instead of decay.
The most comfortable room is the one devoted to study, which has been reconditioned and refurbished. Large old mahogany tables share space with humble round ones, individual desks, and carrels. Even with the addition of computers and e-readers in the technological spot, its essence persists.
Akise has been studying since they arrived. Therefore, she has decided not to let boredom drag her. By the time they have a break to eat something on the roof, she has already finished several assignments long due. Akise, standing on a corner sheltered from the wind, his casual elegance blending with the afternoon light, nibbles his sandwich and remarks on her, "It's impressive you have completed everything."
"I am efficient," she replies, satisfied with the compliment.
"I have been thinking about Hino's change of class."
She bites an apple a bit more forcefully than advisable. "Didn't we agree on leaving that issue aside for now?"
"Don't get me wrong. What I wonder is why you aren't in my class."
The question takes her off guard. She entertains herself with the apple core. "Advanced lessons are quite new. There was a time when my parents would have given anything to have me in a class like that, for they were crazily stern. Anyway, it didn't exist back then. When the School Board approved its implementation, my parents (were dead) didn't push me anymore. I was on my own in every single decision, and I chose to stay in."
"Yuno, you are older than what your official records say, aren't you?"
A furious blushing threatens to take over her face. "And I thought you were polite. What kind of question is that to make a lady?"
"It wasn't a question at all."
It is being steadily more difficult to lie to him without feeling like a little shit, so she struggles to reach a middle point. "Yes, I'm older. Bureaucracy got awry some way between the orphanage and my current home. I was in and out school when some family adopted me for a while, but I was mostly home-schooled. Orphanage-schooled, I mean. The levels were behind regular school programs. I guess that mess was never sorted out." She exhales in an abrupt way, having delivered a melange of real facts and blatant lies. "Anyway, it's obvious I would do well in advanced lessons."
"Still, you decided to stay in." He has the grace not to ask for the details of the improbable story. But then, he goes on speaking, "You got stuck because of Amano."
"Yes, he was the reason. However, I'd prefer not to talk about Yukiteru."
He tries a half-hearted gesture of comfort. His mood has soured. "We should go back."
"Surely," she says, realising his stiff stance. "What's the matter?"
His mouth is a stark line. "It is difficult to compete with a ghost."
She blinks, trying to process what she has just heard. "Do you mean Yuki?"
He nods absent-mindedly, his gaze lost at some point on the horizon.
"That was a cruel remark, Akise. It hurts."
Clouds of shame mar his face. "Forgive me. It was a horrible, selfish thing to say, but I… Even your diary is about him. I…"
"Please, don't say anymore. I forgive you."
He surrenders his attempts at elaborating his feelings and follows her, still weary. Apprehension escorts Yuno all the way downstairs; his insecurities have hit her hard, though not in the way she has expressed it. It doesn't hurt; it disturbs her. It seems their fate to make up a triangle once and again. Yuno has been long used for the ghost in the machine to be Akise. Even when she veered her course towards him, and he traded his crush on Yuki for his feelings for her, she has never put herself in his shoes.
Now she cares, and the fact that Yukiteru may still cast a long shadow between them angers her.
In order to escape her convoluted emotions, she shifts topics as they resume their posts. "What am I supposed to do meanwhile?"
"Reading?" He snickers at her pout. "I mean it. You're going to be a goddess; you should be prepared." He motions his hands in an ample wave meant to encompass the myriad rows of books in the atrium. "Cosmogony, physics, biology, astronomy, theology. The possibilities are endless."
"Are you serious?"
"Absolutely. You will be wearing the supreme mantle of power; it's your duty to leverage it. You'll have the chance to upgrade creation, to create a better future for every single creature in the universe. You should get help and education to confront such an incredible task."
The dark mood is forgotten as he beams, dreamy eyes contemplating potential wonders. She cannot tell him that her job as Dea has been focused on erasing one universe after another so time and fate could be bent and challenged. She hides these thoughts and revels in his zest. Perhaps, this time around everything will be different and such an education might prove useful.
When he tells her that they are leaving, she is absorbed in a compilation of ancient myths. Time has flown away.
She borrows the book while he picks up their stuff. Once outside, he pauses. "Incidentally, we're not going together. I must meet someone. Could you wait for me in some safe public place? The Newest Mall?"
Most of his rant she has missed, for she is fixed on his first sentences. "Who are you seeing? Why can't I accompany you?"
He zips up his jacket and puts the hood on, a darker attire than his usual ones which gives him an edgy look. "I can't tell you. You'll see later."
"Was this the money for? So that you can be seeing someone else?" Her pitch has got higher.
"Listen, Yuno. I left you space when you needed it, even though I was sick with worry about your well-being. Everyone needs privacy."
"Who are you going to meet?"
"Do you still doubt my loyalty?"
It is nothing of the sort. Perhaps it has to do with the fear of him doing some brave and foolish thing like facing a foe by himself. Mostly, it is sheer possessiveness, and if she doesn't bury it right on track, it might become a grown-up monster that will devour her peace of mind. She exhales slowly and puts herself together. "Alright. You'd better find a convincing explanation later."
He aims to caress her face. "I would. But please, don't make it sound like a threat. I'm not your servant, not yet." In contrast with the demonstration of affection, his words brim with foreboding.
She pulls back, rejecting the physical contact. "You will find me at Kuro Hospital when you free yourself from your secret dealings."
He freezes. "That is the hospital where Fourth's son is interned."
She secures the book in her bag, unfazed. "It's open until ten o'clock in the evening."
He rests his fingers on his forehead, pale hair over pale skin. "I acknowledge that having such a hostage may be an ace against Kurusu. Nonetheless, it's improbable he is without protection."
"I expect bodyguards there. I only want to have a look."
"You would resort to using a kid."
"If it can stop his father."
"I see the point. I'm trying to be objective. Yet, after Fifth's death, Reisuke's death… Another kid is too much."
"Fifth was a psycho in the making."
"He was too little, he could have mended his ways away from that family and that sect, away from the Game. Not another child suffering the consequences of this madness, please. I don't want that poor sick boy involved unless it's a matter of life or death."
"You think me able to harm him, don't you?"
"Able to use him as a weapon against an opponent."
She grows indignant, which is absurd considering all the killings in her ledger. She doesn't deny her crimes, but she has never taken the life of Fourth's son. "I won't touch him. I just want to know what is going on."
"It would be dangerous if they discover you. And what I'm doing, what you're trying to punish me for by throwing yourself into danger, would be empty."
They hold one another's glare, cold as red-hot ice, the frozen maw of a geyser seething inside.
"I'm not punishing you."
"You're trying. I'll go anyway."
"And I'll wait for you at Kuro Hospital."
His arms go lax in surrender. "I just beg you not to do anything stupid."
There is real concern behind his exasperation, and Yuno softens. "I'll take care. So will you with whomever you're meeting."
...
An entire floor in the paediatric wing has been cleared off so that only one room is occupied. On each side of its door a bodyguard stands, with a third one pacing up and down the corridor. No helmets hide their faces, but the presence of upholsterers under their overcoats uncover their mission. She measures them, unbothered about revealing her presence, for she has just used the tiniest amount of Dea energy to conform an anodyne persona who may belong to the hospital staff. One thing strikes her about the men who guard Fourth's son: they are not police officers. They are minions off Bacchus' ranks.
The discovery mixes up with her worry for what Akise might be up to. Coming here was a decision made in the spur of the moment: she just wanted to get back at him as he already noticed. In fact, she has been considering leaving to check in on him. With effort she has managed to tone down her anxiety, reminding herself of what their relationship must entail: no obsession, no unnecessary dramas. Her composure has returned, and she has been rewarded with evidence of the alliance between Fourth and Eleventh. As if alliances could last in this bloody war.
Another question assaults her. What if Bacchus is using the kid to blackmail Fourth? It makes sense, though she knows how ruthless the Chief Inspector can be without any external push. Anyhow, were it true, the situation would mean a change of hierarchy, and she must study the consequences. Besides, she notes a lassitude in discipline in the men. The third guy abandons the area for a while; on his return, he brings take-away cardboard cups of what she assumes to be coffee or tea. They sip the beverage in a relaxed mood, sniggering at some joke or another. All in all, they give the impression of having undertaken an inane task, of maintaining a bait.
Is the child really there?
Restlessness gnaws at her; she is on the verge of forgetting her promise to Akise and going untangle the secrets behind the closed door, her cover be damned.
Before she can reveal herself, the place turns into a turbulent sea of hungry eddies and crashing waves. Her body wobbles, knees weak, head thick with fog, ears tingling from an unbearable low sound. She stretches her arms to grab at the wall, a doorknob, some piece of furniture. She fights against the vertigo until she is victorious.
What on earth has just happened?
She monitors Bacchus' minions. The cardboard cups have dropped to the floor, dark liquid spilling from them. Their bodies are limp, vacant expressions under unfocused eyes. She spins around and glances at the leftmost part of the corridor, where a nurse has been working just minutes ago. The nurse looks as much an empty shell as Bacchus' men do, and Yuno recognises what she is witnessing all at once.
The sound of quiet steps joins the pervading voiceless buzzing. Coming from the stairs, one foot after another, the man appears. He is not wearing his ridiculous outfit with the gibbous mask and all that spandex; some ragged but normal attire is what he is wearing along with a hat whose downwards-sloping brim helps his hair to hide his eyes from the external world.
After all, he has no use for them, blind as they are.
As Twelfth ducks the nurse and heads towards the men and the room they guard, Yuno pretends being caught up in the trance of hypnosis, faking blankness of body and mind. Such a surprise. She is used to Twelfth appearing and dying around the Omekata lair; his whereabouts in the worlds where she didn't meet him have been quite a mystery for her, if an irrelevant one. The novelty intrigues her. Instead of murdering him right on the spot, she waits for the events to unfold.
He reaches the doorway and the zombie-like men. For a split second, he pivots to look at Yuno, his lanky body twitching as if he is sensing something off, so she uses a bit more of Dea energy to counterpoint his enhanced hearing. The second is over; Twelfth seems content, fully convinced she is another puppet under the power of his diary.
"What is your mission here?" he asks the bodyguards.
"We were told to protect this room and stop any intruder, sir," one of them slurred.
"Is this Fourth's child's room?"
"We don't understand what you mean by Fourth, sir."
Twelfth leans forwards, then backwards, a rocking chair tuned to the lullaby in his phone. "Chief Inspector Kurusu. Does that traitor to justice's name strike a chord?"
"Yessir, this is his son's room. He was our charge."
"Is the child still inside?"
"No, he isn't. He was transferred to a different hospital in a nearby town."
I knew it, Yuno thinks.
Twelfth doesn't seem too shocked, either. "Under whose orders?"
"Mayor Bacchus and Chief Inspector Kurusu's, sir."
Twelfth puts his body weight first on one foot, then on another. "Uhm, that explains many alerts in my phone. Where is the child now?"
"We don't know the exact location, only that he's not coming back. Our task is to wait, guard this room, and stop any uninvited visitor."
Twelfth chuckles quietly. "Open the door so that I can grasp the truth."
They obey his command; he enters the room and exits it with empty hands.
"No one, indeed. Uhm, is the partnership between the Mayor and the Chief Inspector still going on? Is it an equal one, or is one partner pushing the other?"
"They are on good terms and working together, sir, but we are not privy to everything."
"Yeah, sure. One last thing. Are they helping the serial killer escape justice?"
Some hesitation. "I think so," one says. The others nod, and Twelfth nods in turn.
"Every note makes sense now." His diary echoes his voice and adds notices of petty infractions to the mix. "Well, this vigilante has much work to do. One criminal down, the terrorist; three more to go. Good-bye, puppets. You'll awake in half an hour without any remembrance of our chat."
He makes his way back to the stairs and disappears. Yuno rushes to the room. Empty, of course.
Without anything else to do there, she spends the rest of the time in the well-lit cafeteria drinking fizzy drinks in cheap glasses, waiting for Akise's call, pondering the bounty of the information she has acquired so accidentally.
Bacchus and Kurusu's league has been confirmed. The mystery around Minene's death has been solved: she committed suicide indeed, but under commands or hallucinations of Twelfth's design. Now he is targeting Fourth, Eleventh, and Third; by the looks of it, he will choose Fourth first, even without the ace of his son. Suddenly, she realises she is glad the kid would not suffer more; he is quite doomed as he is. Another surprise: never before had she cared about him. Akise's opinions are messing with my mind. She huffs, half moved, half annoyed.
The huff changes by degrees to a smirk. Who would have guessed that Twelfth was going to play such a big part? Even if he is defeated, he will target away from her. Every foe in this world is occupied with someone else who is not her—or Akise by extension. Definitely, Yukiteru's early death has been pivotal for their relative safety.
Stay on guard, the lovebirds and her big mommy are too quiet, and Hinata's advent foretells some plan on Tenth's side.
The smirk lingers regardless, and when the albino finally appears—dark hood obscuring his features, a rucksack on his back that was not there before, a not-so-happy expression on his face—she is in high spirits and has nearly forgotten her former irritation at his secrecy.
...
The gun and the ammo which Akise has brought her stand bright and defiant on a vermillion cloth upon the desk in Yuno's bedroom. She glares at them, then at him, then at them for the fourth time in a row, her impatience building up.
"We've been arguing because of this?"
He takes some bullets, charges the gun, carefully wraps it with the cloth, and stores the spare ammo in a small canvas bag. "You're not the only one disappointed. I wanted to buy a bulletproof vest for you in addition to the gun, but the dealer couldn't get me one." He sighs. "Do you know how to shoot? I can teach you; I took several lessons when I first met Nishijima."
She sat down cross-legged over a cushion on the floor, haughtiness tinging her voice. "I know how to shoot, although it's not my specialty. I prefer blades." She snickers. "What a detective you are, chasing the thug life! Seriously, I don't know what you were thinking."
"I knew this particular dealer because I used to comb the area before Deus and the Game. He's not an evil guy."
"Except that he sells black-market firearms to the underaged."
"As many people do, he thought me to be of age, and a real detective to boot." He opens the drawer of the bedside table and puts the gun inside.
"Anyway, your insistence on not letting me go with you was absurd."
"No, it wasn't. Besides, you've learnt so much in the hospital, haven't you?"
She doesn't like the tint of sarcasm in his voice. "Yes, I've learnt a lot as I've already explained to you. Meanwhile, you were playing the mystery man."
He blinks. "Have you forgotten Kurusu's diary?"
A faint blush touches her face as she realises the logic—Fourth's phone displays the diary owners' crimes. If Akise had shared his plan with her and they had gone downtown together, Kurusu would have known. Now, the gun is just a gift she has received. "Oh, well, I see the point."
He closes the drawer and approaches her. "Anyway, with this new player and his diary tracking the stupidest infractions non-stop, and not only the players', my efforts are useless. He could catch me or even you by chance."
"Don't sweat it. Besides, did you really intend me to carry a gun everywhere?"
He crosses his arms over his chest. "My first idea was the vest."
"And you thought I could go on and about wearing it? Under the school's uniform or over it?"
He doesn't look amused at her teasing. "My bad. I see, not a brilliant move. But after Uryuu's kill, I wanted you to have some protective gear. I haven't accomplished my goal, so it doesn't really matter."
"Hey, I appreciate the intention."
A phantom smile twists his mouth. "Okay, but you are right. Twelfth's existence renders the plan useless, and I'm worried about his diary. Hypnosis that can manipulate people to the extent of committing suicide is a terrifying tool."
"I was able to resist its power."
"You are strong, and I'm relieved to know. Yet, it frightens me. Denying something essential to humans, our free will…"
He shudders. For the first time, Yuno notices how scared he is. She reflects on how dangerous the path he takes loop after loop is, how gloomy his fate, how unnecessary, not being a player. Why must he always choose to get involved?
All of a sudden, she has a knot in her stomach, goosebumps in her arms. He reaches for her when he witnesses her reaction. "Hey! We can cope with this. We can manage it; you outsmarted that device. Besides, he is going after other players. Maybe we have the luck that they destroy each other."
"I am scared for your safety, Akise. You shouldn't be that involved, you need not risk your life like this."
"Yuno, everyone's life is at stake. You know my reasons. I'd rather exert my free will and help avoid the rise of a deranged and murderous new Deus than wait passively for the end. I want to help you."
Yuno starts shivering. His view of her is so distorted, and at the same time it fills her with hope for a better version of herself.
He hugs her. He is wearing a cotton T-shirt, and she is acutely aware of the warmth of his body, the strength of his arms, his enticing smell, soap-clean and highly personal at the same time. She rests her head in his chest, hearing his heart beat faster, his skin get hotter.
You don't deserve reliving this madness. Escape while you can.
Instead of spilling out more worries, she comments on trivial data, "So, most people think you are a young adult. Now I understand the senpai here and there."
"I thought it was respect?"
"Akise, are you older than your official records say?"
He breaks their embrace gently, heated but composed, a hint of exhaustion on his features. He takes a couple of steps towards the bedroom door and pauses there. From that distance, it comes clear that a sound demeanour and a defined shape are not the only features that set him apart from adolescence. In fact, she perceives physical changes: he looks more mature than in previous realities. He has grown taller; his face is less soft-looking, a bit more seasoned; his muscles show a subtle development.
He has not remained static like everyone else; he is showing an evolution akin to the one Yuno experimented when she started jumping. Is the accumulated time of the different worlds affecting him? How, why? Does it connect to those bits of memories he should not have?
She welcomes the growth—she has craved growth since she got sick of stale repetition. Moreover, it suits him handsomely.
Nevertheless, it spells trouble and opens the door to new puzzles.
"Although I'm supposed to be fifteen soon, I'm positive that is not my age. I am older," he answers, squaring his shoulders to show his conviction. "I have clear memories from this past year and a half, but before that there is a gap which I can't put my finger on—it seems that a few years have gone by without me knowing. Like jumps. I have this theory that I suffered amnesia, was in a coma, and my parents hid it from me. I examined the hospitals from the town we were living before we moved to Sumire City to no avail; they said I had a wild imagination. A difficult task, with the family moving places and leaving personal stuff behind so often. On top of that, there's the lack of photographs and mementos. Do you remember when you mocked me about that Aru-chan thing?"
"Yes, I do," she answers in a thin voice.
"Well, there's no pic of me as a little child, and I can't recall ever seeing one. I have obscured and disassociated memories, like scenes to be analysed instead of felt, as if I were just an observer of what was supposed to be my life. And there are fragments of half-forgotten dreams here and there. Somehow, they look more real than my actual life. Sorry, I digress."
She listens to him, worry climbing to a peak. Could the former worlds have messed up his mind to that point? Would he be able to recall a dead timeline completely? She keeps quiet, contemplating such an awful prospect.
"I have another hypothesis," he continues. "Perhaps I was an orphan, too, and grew somewhere else, and my mind is repressing memories."
Worry gives way to chagrin. "Are you mocking me?"
"No, I'm not. Why do you think so?
"Are you mimicking my story? It feels insulting! I can't find the fun in your practical joke."
He furrows his brow. "I'm only sharing my thoughts and doubts with you. I'm not talking about you." He makes for the doorway, gives her a sidelong glance. "You are truly goddess material, thinking everything revolves around you. But you know? A truthful deity should be the core but should also accept that their duty revolves around the whole universe."
"You don't stop talking about your commitment to make me Dea, and now you say that? Who do you think you are? You have not even been chosen."
"I know my status. Don't make it sound as if I am a lesser being because of that."
A heavy silence grows between them. It seems that everything they say or do today has a straining effect in one or another. Yuno looks at him in his T-shirt and feels as enraged at him as attracted to him. She wants to burst the tension one way or another.
"We'll be more receptive tomorrow," he says after a while. "I will sit my exam, we'll investigate Hino, and after school we could go to the dojo as we decided yesterday if you agree."
She nods with her jaw taut.
The tension lingers without resolution.
Notes: As far as neither Yuno nor Akise are exactly "human", I don't consider them underaged. Besides, in this fic, time has been bent too much and they have grown: Yuno as Dea, and Akise... well, it is clear he is getting affected by the loops when others aren't. After all, he is not like the others.
I wanted to highlight this fact because there might be some sexy times from now onwards, and underage is not my cup of tea. I had to cope with some degree of intimacy between Yuno and Yuki in the first two chapters, but I reduced its presence to a minimum.
As you could guess, the rating is going to change from chapter 6 on. In fact, I have been having doubts about the rating right from the start because of the sheer amount of violence and murders. I checked other Mirai Nikki fics with similar canon-typical violence and they were all for Teenagers, so I've kept the T rating. However, I want to add a tad of smut to the mixture, hence the impending change.
More on my view on Akise's sexual preferences, and why I have chosen not to write a yaoi pairing here, on the notes in next chapter.
Love :)