Closer 2
Sometimes one just needs to feel somebody a little bit closer.
After your intense sleep from cuddles the night before, you find yourself massively productive at work, and smiling more than you had been.
The forlorn wear lines on your face have dissipated for this instant.
It's a good feeling.
The contact had you energized, thriving on the human touch, and feeling more cared for and appreciated than you've felt in a very long time.
From afar, you speculate that these positive effects have held strong for Addison also. Or at least, some part of your mind would very much like to take credit for her being, even more, chipper this morning than usual.
Part of you wants to squeeze her again, and it frightens you a little, seeing as just the other day you'd been dreading her very existence. It's everything that Addison is to you; someone to envy, and yet someone to cherish.
When she's holding you softly you forget that you ever disliked her, and you realize at this point that the dislike was purely situational.
It was more of a 'mistress must resent the wife' sort of deal, rather than a complete character study of Addison Forbes Montgomery.
And then she surprises you with her offering of some additional co-bedding time later, and you're trying not to literally jump up and down with glee at the prospect.
You're going to snuggle with Addison Montgomery again, and it will be the highlight of your day.
By the time that you get to it, and you can tell that she needs it.
Addison is so tired, weary from surgery, and a double-shift from when a baby was born earlier than expected.
"Grey, good to see you," Addison smiles, and you see a flicker of insecurity in her eyes, as if perhaps she would have been disappointed had you not shown up.
"It's good to see you too," you whisper, as you head into an on-call room together.
You realize if anyone saw you walk in there that they might spread rumors and you'll have a lot of explaining to do, but you don't think about that now, as Addison takes off her lab coat, and moves to sit on the bed and hold her arms out waiting for you.
"How long do you have until?" You whisper into the dark after you shut the light off.
"Six hours, and you?" Addison smiles.
Six hours.
Your brain is whirring with delight at all the time you get to spend alone with her.
Wait, what?
"Oh, lots of time…" You reply, and then you bite your lip because you don't want to seem desperate, or overly available, but it doesn't seem too off-putting to Addison, who simply smiles, and welcomes you.
"Great," Addison smiles, as you take off your own coat, and sit next to the redhead.
The moment you hit the bed, the tiredness overcomes you, and you're filled with a sense of relief.
"Can I admit something?" You say to Addison, as she shuts the lights out, and she cuddles you closer to you in the dark.
"Sure," says Addison, as she plays with your hair.
"I've been thinking about this all day," you say, squeezing your hands together tightly.
"Me too," Addison admits softly.
"It's just so nice to feel comforted," says Meredith.
"Yes," says Addison. "And warm," she adds.
You settle in with Addison's warm breaths on your neck giving you goosebumps, and her soft circles on your shoulder bringing you butterflies.
A part of you blames it all on Biology.
It's just a physiological reaction.
A human response.
Addison is providing her human comfort and companionship, and it relaxes her.
That's it, right?
You try to figure it all out in your head, but the soft beating of Addison's heart against your chest lulls you to sleep, and you drift off with Addison's arm wrapping around you, and your own hand coming to rest on top of hers.
You dream pleasant dreams in Addison's arms, a full deep sleep where you wake up rested.
Addison's head has landed itself on your shoulder, and your legs are more intertwined than before.
It makes you blush a little, based on the semi-scandalous position you're in.
And then it makes you panic a little because your brain has a way of always thinking the most inappropriate of thoughts and feelings, and the last thing that you need or want to be thinking right now is about how Addison's presence is making you think about sex.
And it's not because of the girl thing.
You've known you liked girls since well, forever (okay, so maybe more like college when you found yourself making out with your roommate and really really enjoying it), so it's not a big deal to you at this point.
It's really more because of the Addison thing.
Which is so not a thing by the way.
And it just can't be, because of the Derek thing.
Which is kind of a thing now, but kind of not also. Because Derek's got a wife (aka, the Addison thing), and he's still looking at you with puppy-dog eyes, but then again Addison's got really pretty eyes, but you know that if you two ever hypothetically got together that he's hate you both for maybe all of eternity (aka, the Derek thing). And besides which, you really should be focusing more on the medicine.
And yet here you are, flustered because of misplaced desire again, and you try to shake it off because it's really ridiculous how easily you get hot-for-teacher. Or hot-for-Shepherd's. Or hot-for-hot-Dr.-Shepherd's.
Gosh, they really ought to make up a sitcom about people like you.
And it's not even totally about the sex drive this time. I mean it is a little bit, because Addison's goergeous and also awesome. But it's more because of the way she treats you, treats other people. She's always got that compassionate touch, and her empathetic listening expression, and the voice of reason that can tame even Alex Karev's macho ways.
And when she's not being sweet, she's being vulnerable, showing her hurt, her pain and her losses, selflessly admitting her mistakes and defending you.
And that's what's making it so hard for you not to get too attached (emotionally, because physically well, you're already, y'know, physically attached to each other like, right now).
Addison's body wraps around yours like a cocoon, and you feel yourself snoozing again peacefully as you watch her serene depression while she's aleep.
Her features are softer this way.
It's so pretty.
And you are so totally screwed.
You almost expect to be woken up again by Derek, or Bailey, or even Izzie, but you aren't, and the next thing you know, you're nuzzled awake by Addison shifting even closer to you. Her chin nuzzles the top of your head, and her chest presses into your back.
You feel yourself melting into Addison's body again, and you hear her subconsciously whimpering as you tuck your head into the crook of her neck.
Another pro: she smells so good.
Like apricots and brown sugar. Very delicious. It sorta makes you wonder what her skin would taste like if you were to kiss it tendery along the neckline…
Oh shoot!
You'd told yourself you'd stop pining like this.
Addison snuggles with you for comfort, that's it. It's not supposed to become this dark & twisty lopsided love story where you both secretly develop feelings for each other and wait like six months for a confession. Because those things only happen in books!
And now Addison is starting to wake up, and she's yawning and doing the stretching thing, and it's so freaking' cute.
You've decided that you're officially sold on this co-bedding thing, and that you'll have to suggest it to others just so that it's less suspicious that you're doing so out of your own free will now.
"Sleep well?" Addison asks you in a very sexy gravelly morning voice.
"Yes," you practically purr, as she caresses your shoulder.
"Me too," Addison says softly as she keeps holding you.
"Thanks," you say.
"Oh, thank you. I slept so well, and I enjoy your company, Grey," Addison says easily.
Oh, now you're completely screwed.
"Likewise," you say with a soft smile.
"We have a few hours left before we have to check on our other co-bedding twins, do you want to keep cuddling?" Addison asks you hopefully.
"Yeah, I'd really like that," you lean in again, and Addison strokes your hair and you giggle.
Just a little while can't hurt anyone, right?
***** FIN