Closer 3
Sometimes one just needs to feel somebody a little bit closer.
It's six hours later, and your pagers go off at the same time. Not with a 9-1-1, but just with a regular page.
"Ah, I feel all relaxed," Addison smiles as she uncurls from you.
"Yeah," you nod as you hand her the coat.
One nap next to this woman and you feel brand new, the sun is shining, and you've got a whole new perspective on life.
You're dressed like doctors, so no one bats an eye when you show up at the same time to the NICU.
"How's Charlotte doing?" You ask Addison as she checks on her.
"Doing great, they're all doing well," she smiles.
"Excellent," you smile.
Dorie, the quint's mother, shows up and she's delighted to see them all thriving.
"I've got nine babies. Nine!" Dorie smiles happily.
Izzie's still mad at you, and Alex is still mopey, and George is still mad at you because Izzie is mad at you, but Cristina seems to be coming around because she is your person after all.
"Hey, where have you been?" Cristina asks you.
"Just napping," you shrug, because it's true.
"You smell like apricots," says Cristina.
"Apricots are nice," you answer.
"I can tell there's more you're not saying," Cristina says.
"There's nothing more to say, napping and apricots are nice," you smile.
She doesn't question it further, at least not in front of your face, and you go about your business and your day, and even a surgery with Derek doesn't bring you down.
It's bringing your shoulders down though, the surgery causes you to be all bent over at an odd angle, and afterward you feel as stiff as a nail.
Derek tries to charm you, but you're not buying it.
"No, I don't still want to get dinner with you Derek, you haven't signed those papers yet, and even if you did I'm not sure I could trust you again," you say frustratedly.
"Alright…" Derek slinks away, and you find yourself in an on-call room alone again.
A nagging part of you wishes that Addison was here, so you could cuddle up to her again, and then you think that maybe this is becoming a sort of addiction, because you don't feel like sleeping without her.
'Damnit!' you say to yourself. 'Damn her for working her way into your happiness.'
You're determined to be all happy anyway, and you try to rub the knots out of your shoulders with your own palms.
It's effective. Not as effective as say, yoga which you've only done once and you'll probably never have time for again, or like, a real professional massage which you'll probably never have the money for in the near future either.
So you keep going, and you're trying to work out the knots in your neck when you hear the door creaking open.
"Hey, hello, is anybody sleeping in here…?" You hear a quiet voice whisper.
"I'm awake," you giggle, and you hear the door creak open.
"Oh it's you, hey," says Addison as she walks in without hesitating.
"Yeah it's me," you smile, and you realize how happy you are to see her.
"Is your neck hurting?" Addison asks, as she gestures towards your neck.
"Oh, it's alright, just a little stiff from surgery," you shrug, as you welcome her into the room.
"Ah, I see. C'mere," Addison offers, and you say a shy "okay," before you nod, and she comes to join you on the bed.
Addison lies you down on your stomach, and she starts palming over your back.
"When I was in residency I felt like I was tangled up in knots," says Addison as she starts to press in with her thumbs.
The contact is heavenly, and your eyes drift shut luxuriously.
"Addison you don't have to do this but thank you- ohhh-" you sigh as she presses her thumbs into your shoulder blades.
"I don't mind, I kind of like it. I like feeling like I'm helping," says Addison calmly as she works the muscles connecting your shoulders to your neck.
"You're definitely helping," you nod, and you can't help but let out a satisfied groan as she tackles a particularly sore spot.
"No problem," you can feel Addison smiling as she brushes your hair aside so she can swirl her thumbs around the tender spots on your neck, as her fingers gently massage the front of them.
"Oh yeah, gosh you're good at that," you whimper as she keeps going.
Her massage feels so heavenly you can feel yourself giving into it, purring whenever she untangles you, and telling her "yes," when she finds out where you're hurting the most.
"Mm, please don't stop. I'll do you later I promise, but Addison please don't stop," you find yourself begging for her as she keeps it up, working down your sides too which are usually ticklish, but more receptive to her treatment now that she's warmed you up to it.
"Just relax, breathe for me," says Addison as she also uses her elbows and her forearms somehow to make the experience better. She's so skilled at this you wonder just how she's learned it, and you contemplate this for a second, but then you lose all thought because she's taking all of your pain away, and the experience is sensational.
"Oh yeah, oh yeah," you're moaning now, and it's probably very embarrassing, but Addison doesn't seem to be bothered, and at least she's not teasing you for it. You're breathing hard because she's going so deep, and you're probably flushed in the face.
And then she's working out a knot in your back you've practically had since like, birth, and she's asking you if you like it, and you're all "mmhmm," because you've basically lost your ability to speak also because she's handling you so well.
You're putty beneath her hands, and it's like your body just knows that it likes it.
"That was amazing Addie," you say with your eyes half-closed as she plays with your hair once she's done massaging you.
"You're welcome," Addison chuckles.
"Come closer," you whine, and you bring her down on top of you.
You fall asleep with the warm weight against your back, and her voice in your ear, and a tiny tiny nagging part of you is telling you that you might just have found the secret to happiness.
Well, okay.
Momentary happiness at least.
Because when you wake up, Addison's already gone for her next shift, and although your body feels brand new, you're realizing that you never did end up returning her favor.
And then it gets so, so, so much worse.
You thought that it was all subtle the way you'd been interacting with her and with everyone, but apparently, everyone is just so much more observant and/or nosey about your life than you'd expected them to be.
"Seriously Grey!? Not one but two Dr. Shepherd's!? And in MY HOSPITAL!?" Bailey chews you out the moment you exit the on-call room.
"What?" You yawn, still sleepy from how deep a sleep you'd been having.
"I'm talking about YOU, and Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, and the fact that you've been calling out like a porno for the best part of the last several hours when I know it was her in there with you because I saw her leave, and that's just about when the sex noises finally stopped happening," says Bailey so loud that you realize that all of your patients, plus Derek (eek!), plus all of your friends are hearing (nightmare fuel!).
"Ah, Dr. Bailey, but we weren't- I wasn't- she was just rubbing me we were fully clothed the whole time, she was just helping me out and making me feel good, and we're friends, and-" you're rambling. And you know that you're rambling. And you know that Dr. Bailey's not buying this even though you're actually being truthful.
"Honestly, Grey," Bailey sighs, and hands you a stack of five charts to handle.
"I'm sorry…" you start groveling, too little, too late, as you see the curious glances and/or glares and/or mystified expressions from everybody around you.
"Add- Dr. Montgomery, you're here see she'll clear this up, tell her what we were doing last night, in bed. But not in bed like that, y'know when you were touching me. But not like, that kind of touching me. Just, we were touching. And hugging. And snuggling. And cuddling. And sleeping, but it was all a very platonic kind of affair. Not an affair-affair. Just a matter of speaking. And it was a favor. And speaking of favors I realize I still owe ya one, and I'm off at six, are you off at six? Because if you are then maybe you could come over so we wouldn't have to be in the hospital where everyone is apparently listening and watching- not that there's anything we're hiding but still and-"
Addison's eyebrows just climb higher and higher until you're pretty sure they'll be reaching the ceiling by the time you stop talking, and when you finally stop talking, it takes Addison a few seconds for her to eventually remember what the original question was.
"It's a new treatment we're testing out. For a case that we have together. Right, Dr. Grey?" Addison asks you politely.
"Yes, yes it is. Thank you Add- Dr. Montgomery-, and I'll just help you with that and we can be on our way-" you fumble with the charts in your arms and you move to follow her.
"Oh no, not this again. Grey, go to the pit, I think you've had enough shifts in the neonatal wing for this week, and Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, could I please have a word with you," Dr. Bailey sighs at both of you.
"Yes, Dr. Bailey," both you and Addison bow your heads in respect to her, because you know above all that Dr. Bailey is the actual ruler of everything.
"Not you Grey, I already told you where you're assigned today," Bailey points, and you go, and you can't hear her whispering.
Damnit! And you never got an answer from Addison about later, either.
You'll just have to see if you can sneak back somehow to see her.
And now you're fretting again.
***** FIN