A Day In The Life. { Absurdity: A situation, quality, or state of being which is wildly unreasonable, ridiculous, or out of normal. }
September 13th, XXXX.
Jiraiya sighed, leaning against the wooden gate of a city he'd never been too fond of.
Tanzaku Gai, the Fire Country capital.
It was a crime-ridden city with not much to offer besides satiating one's own sinful desires. That served him well at times, but he was really beginning to miss Konoha. It's vibrant atmosphere, the people, all of it.
No matter how much he missed it, he wasn't ready to go back. Not to see his dead apprentice's face carved into the mountain side, who'd been like a son to him.
He understood Tsunade a lot better after he lost Minato, that he knew.
A small monkey tapped his shoulder, causing his head to whip around, noting that the primate looked rather impatient. From it's tail, the monkey tossed a scroll from the place on the gate where it sat, Jiraiya catching it just as the monkey poofed into thin air.
He eyed the scroll warily. There had been an unmistakable feeling of dread building in his stomach, one which he couldn't quite place. He just hoped it wasn't related to his godchildren, Kami knows they didn't need anymore trouble.
Unrolling the parchment, his eyes scanned the words slowly, raking over them.
From what he read, he really couldn't see a reason for the pit in his stomach.
So the kids were a little weird, so what? Most people in Konoha were. It's not like you can blame the kids for being socially inept.
He sighed in relief. That was something that would certainly change once they were in the academy and surrounded by other kids.
It would be fine. They would be fine. His godchildren, Minato and Kushina's legacy, would be just fine.
No need for him to go back yet, because Namiko and Naruto were okay.
And of course, by the time he does drag himself back to the Leaf Village, they'll at least be a ninja's standard of normal.
Or so he thought.
Naruto was enjoying his new chain bloodline.
Shooting a silver chain from his hand, he speared the ramen box which was too high in the cabinet for him to reach.
Normally, he'd have climbed on the countertops, but this was just so much easier.
Using his chain to bring it gently down to him, he allowed himself a small smile.
"BROTHER! WHY DID YOU SHUT OFF OUR TELEPATHIC LINK! I WAS ABOUT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, THAT IS VERY MEAN YOU KNO-"
"We have voices for a reason, sister. There is no need to strain our minds when we can just talk." He said simply, picking up the ramen box from the linoleum floors.
He'd dropped it when she shouted for him.
His sister peaked around the corner of the L-shaped hallway which led to their room, her cheek puffed in an exaggerated pout.
His blank eyes met with her much larger ones, a staring
contest of sorts.
Her nose twitched. His face stayed passive. The corners of her lips twisted up, smiling at him before she disappeared once again.
He considered that a victory.
The humming in the back of his mind agreed, a humming he knew didn't belong to his sister.
Closing his baby blue eyes, he reestablished the link with his sister. He couldn't hear It with his sister's thoughts in his head. He knew the same applied to her.
Perhaps it was cruel of him to remove the link in the first place. She was such a scatterbrain, though, hearing all of the thoughts she directed to him could be a bit much.
Her thoughts were often quite gorey, too.. But that wasn't important, no, he had ramen to make.
'Ara, I'm the scatterbrain?'
No need to justify that with a response, as far as he was concerned.
'Meanie.'
Namiko and Naruto were only normal with one another, and unfortunately for Jiraiya, unfortunately for Hiruzen Sarutobi, unfortunately for all of Konoha, they'd never see that side of them.
September 16th...
Iruka Umino had heard the rumors about his newest students. The Uzumaki twins were rather infamous in the area, after all. It wasn't very often twins were born, so that in and of its own was a peculiarity.
Then, add that they had halves of a demon contained in them and it was even worse.
He didn't know how to feel, aside from a slight bit of hate and some strong discomfort.
The Kyuubi had killed his parents; and according to the villagers, those children were demonic in their own right. Some even said the demon had control over them, and that was why they were so strange, so discomforting.
His classroom was quickly filling up, full of new students, civilians and clan-children alike.
He kept his eyes glued to his paperwork, not even bothering to address the filling room.
This year would start like the others. The children would listen to his speech, they'd take their placement tests and their primary sensei's would be decided. Be it he, or one of the many other chuunin teachers.
There was no reason to concern himself with the elusive Uzumaki twins. Not yet; Not from prejudice and preconceived notions, nor hearsay.
He wouldn't allow himself to be so judgemental.
It didn't take long before he realized all that hearsay held the truth…
Entering the classroom, the two twins waltzed in with entwined hands, holding each other like lifelines. If one looked closely enough, they'd see that Naruto and Namiko had nails dug into their skin, on the verge of drawing blood.
And although many looked at the pair with curiosity, due their near-identical physical traits, strange yet refined clothes, and hand-holding.
Near immediately, the other students in their class felt something off.
Though children often showed excellent intuition, they were naive. And thus, many believed they could actually befriend the pair. Or fawn over either of them, judging by a few of the lovestruck looking civilian girls.
A boy who was quiet, wore pretty clothes, and didn't think girls had cooties? To the other children, he was surely a prince.
'Those harpies are making eyes at you, brother.'
'I don't like it when people stare… Can't you make them stop?' His blue eyes gave her the most pleading look, one she'd seen fairly often on her brother.
They were by all means codependent. Her brother always needed little things like that from her. He was oh-so-shy, so afraid of watchful eyes and quiet whispers.
Namiko was used to being his outer-defense. She had taken the position as the extrovert, the one who would attract the attention and keep eyes away from him.
Not that she minded, she loved her brother and captivating others was just so fun. It made her feel like a star, to catch their attention with unabashed honesty and her kind, sweet demeanor.
Naruto had said she wasn't the greatest actor. Namiko could hardly care, the world was her stage and she had plenty of time to practice her performance.
After all, she was going to become an immortal, stay beautiful forever and dominate the world. A simple dream, really.
Her brother caught that thought, sighing at how difficult that sounded. She could dominate the world, he'd just be her left-hand man, thank you very much.
She giggled, before finally taking the attention back onto herself.
"Ara, it appears I lost my purse!" She sighed dramatically, while nearly every boy (and a few girls) turned towards her with full attention.
Namiko didn't own a purse. She had never owned a purse. Or even a satchel.
The eager to please children didn't know that.
"I'll help you look for it! My name is Leo!" A random boy raised his hand.
She giggled, daintily raising her hand over her mouth. "Were you eavesdropping, Leo-san?" She asked, tilting her head.
It was meant to be cute, a perfectly rehearsed movement, a fine act. But her eyes, her heart-stopping purple eyes, gave it all away.
They were empty. Hollow.
As Leo's brown eyes met hers, he felt so wrong. Like a glass doll being handed to a rowdy child, he felt like plaything, like something soon to be destroyed.
His mouth went dry, left for at a loss for words. "We'll do it for you!" A trio of girls said, standing suddenly. They were clearly wealthy civilians, trying to kiss up to someone who looked as a regal as Nami.
Naruto didn't like it, not one bit. His sister merely giggled as a small group of kids argued over who could fetch her bag.
The three girls left the class to search, whilst Naruto opted to stare out the window.
Oh, how he longed to be outside. Away from this class and their bright-eyes, away from all of these naive children.
He despised them all, every facet of them.
How could they all stare at him like that? It took one look for him to decipher who in this class would even become a ninja.
The results were miles less than impressive. Of course, any and all clan children would become ninja, that was a given. But his and Nami's graduating year was full of civilians. Matter of fact, it looked to be about ⅔ of them were amongst the nameless, ninja-wannabes.
If they did somehow make it out of the academy, they'd die in the first year, he was certain. He'd read the statistics, the data-sets on shinobi life.
They were grim, especially for kids like them.
Of course, he wasn't worried for them. Or even Namiko and himself.
Obviously, he wasn't worried for Nami. She was going to take over the world, and he'd be alongside her. The academy was nothing, a mere pebble amongst stones and boulders.
Nothing would ever stop them, nothing would ever come between them.
Especially not a silly academy.
He could feel the joy bubbling in his sister as she heard his thoughts as if they were her own.
It was only the loud slam of the classroom door closing which pulled the two of them from their thoughts.
"Listen up, kids!" A newly entered man, in the standard chuunin uniform said loudly.
Every set of eyes settled on him, and the man didn't even flinch.
Naruto himself thought the idea of dozens upon dozens of children staring at you with rapt attention seemed horrifying.
Namiko thought it seemed like great fun.
"You may call me Mizuki-sensei, and my friend over here is Iruka-sensei. We'll be the ones doing your placement tests for today. When we call your name, you'll come with us into an empty classroom, and show us what you're capable of. Any questions?"
Several children's hands darted up, and Mizuki began taking in their inquiries.
Naruto however, had another idea. Pulling out a notebook from his pile of school supplies, he opened to the first page.
He decided then and there that for every major clan-name he heard, he would jot down their physical attributes. This would be important, he thought.
Data was always important.
Information was always important, especially when it came to ninja clans.
After the questions stopped, they started calling children into the other classroom.
It started with civilian children, none of which he cared the slightest bit about. Finally, after what seemed like ages, they began calling clan-children.
The Auburame and Akimichi were first.
Choji, the first Akimichi, was named. He was a rotund boy, which lined up with what the Hokage had told him of. He knew they had unique jutsu which increased the size of their bodies. It only made sense for them to have naturally large bodies as well. He had odd swirl tattoos on his cheeks, which he made sure to jot down. Perhaps it was some sort of clan symbol?
It went on like that for a while, with him jotting down any notable features of clan children. The easiest to pick out were the Hyuuga, with pale eyes and pale skin.
The Uchiha boy was nearly indistinct, if it weren't for his dark hair and eyes. Oh, and the giant Uchiwa fan on the back of his shirt.
The few Nara were actually indistinguishable, which was a shame, because the Hokage had told him they were the geniuses of the Leaf Village. He'd hoped they would stand out more. Dealing with geniuses sounded so pesky.
All he could see was that they had brown hair and brown eyes.
Inuzuka and Aburame were simple, he knew he'd have no trouble picking them out of a crowd.
Last, but not least, the Uzumaki name was called.
"Uzumaki Namiko, you're up." Called the white-haired chuunin.
Of course, they would be called one at a time.
His sister exchanged a glance with him, one full of worry. Not for herself, but for him.
He knew she'd make a scene if he didn't tell her not to, she wouldn't want to leave him by himself.
He didn't want to leave her, either, but it would not do at all to be kicked out on the first day for bad behavior.
'Go.' He communicated simply, but the thought of being alone made it hard to get across.
Once she walked past the limit of the telepathic link, it would sever, and then he would have to hear It again.
The thought made his blood run cold. Whenever they were too far apart, it was always so loud.
Not wanting to violate her brother's wish, Namiko stood up.
'I will make this quick.'
She walked away from their desk, and he felt his heart thumping in his chest as she left the room.
The classroom must've been far, because the whispering in his mind started nearly immediately.
(AlWaYsWatChiNgAlWaySWatChiNg.)
((EYESEYESEYESEYESEYES.))
No one was looking, no one at all.
It was lying. It was always lying.
(LiArLiArLiArLiAr)
The connection disappeared, and the whispers turned to screeching amongst loud static and murmurs. His head throbbed, and he could only clutch at the sides of his head and wait for Namiko.
Minutes were beginning to feel like centuries.
(THEYSEEYOU. THEYHATEYOU. THEYARELAUGHING.)
His airways felt like they were constricting, why was it so hard to breathe? Why were they laughing? Who were they?
They hate him? He hates them too.
(StArEstAreSTaRE. STARE.)
As Namiko entered the classroom with Mizuki and Iruka, her head was already throbbing, and itching from the inside.
The beast inside was clawing at the interior of her skull, knowing her other half was yards away. It was painful to It when she and Naruto separated, which was why It made it painful for them, too.
She hated It.
(jUdGeMEnT.) The voice in her head bellowed out, she found It to be as useless as ever. It just had to say the obvious.
Of course they were judging her, and It whispered that a thousand times over, a thousand different directions in her skull.
Ignoring the cacophony of whispers and the throb in her head, she stood in front of the two sensei's, fully prepared to receive placement.
She and her brother had planned for this. They would score exactly the same.
They handed her wooden kunai, and asked if she knew how to use them.
Of course she did, she was Namiko Uzumaki, future queen of the world. How could she not know? Distaste lingered on her tongue, and It thrashed around within her.
It hated all of this disrespect, and she loathed to admit she hated it too.
(HuRt. hUrT. HUrT. HURTHURTHURT-)
Incoherent screeching made it hard to hear the instructions given, but she took the wooden kunai, and carefully perfected her aim.
Her brother had been the one to convince her of the benefits of thrown weapons, which was the only reason she knew how to slightly throw these things.
Her kunai landed dead in the outermost ring of the target, which was on one of the classroom walls.
She'd thrown it from a small distance, using just enough force to make it stick.
She was disappointed that her kunai had not struck dead center, that she had not gotten a bullseye.
It made the beast angrier.
(THEYCHEATEDYOU. CHEATEDCHEATEDCHEATED.)
Namiko almost wanted to believe it, to agree, but it was for naught. They hadn't truly cheated her, her violet eyes surely would've noticed.
The beast grew angrier, screeching curses and calling for blood. Her body was beginning to feel the hatred boiling in her blood, hatred like an intoxicating chemical.
((CHEATCHEATCHEATCHEATCHEAT-))
She threw the shuriken, scoring similarly, all while the beast screamed for them to hurt.
Maybe if she did, the damn thing would quit screeching all the time..
An enticing prospect, one she'd have to look into. Surely her brother would be interested in finding that out, as well.
"Good job, that's better than most pre-academy civilian children." Remarked that white-haired teacher, which made Namiko decide that she hated him.
How dare such an ugly creature call her a civilian? She was an Uzumaki.
It was hard to think of any appropriate response, so she opted to say nothing at all, even if she'd like to tell him to dive into the nearest trench and never come back.
She knew that comment would bother her all night. Did Namiko look like a damn civvy to him?! The audacity.
She ought to make his skin into a purse for that. She'd always wanted a purse, after all.
A bead of sweat ran down Iruka's neck once the girl had left. During the entire time she'd been in there with he and Mizuki, she hadn't blinked once.
By the time she and Naruto had finished each of their tests, they were reunited for good, their heads finally beginning to calm.
It was as they made their way out, that several parents spotted them.
Horrified gasps, people grabbing their children and leaving, and general shock spilled out.
Parents couldn't believe it. The demon twins of Konoha would be attending school with their precious children.
The idea alone was enough to make more than a dozen civilian families un-enroll their children. A few ninja families even followed their example.
It was after that day, that one singular day, that their entire school reputation was destroyed.
But Namiko, nor Naruto, had even thought about all the horrified parents around them. They simply walked along, ignoring the crowd, until Namiko expressed her budding hypothesis.
"Brother," She said, catching the attention of her ever-so-dreary sibling.
He raised his head to meet her gaze, pulling his eyes from where they were glued to the ground.
"I have the most interesting idea, one which I think may require some research!" She chirped, speaking aloud despite the utter lack of necessity. At home, he was always an advocate for actually speaking…. But here? Around all these people? These enemies?
Namiko might think of the people of Konoha as little dollies to play with, but he saw Konoha for what it was. Enemy territory.
Naruto thought distantly, that maybe Namiko liked the sound of her own voice. That would explain it.
She narrowed her eyes at him dangerously, but his lips only quirked upwards, the closest thing to a smile he could muster after such an exhausting day.
Unlike Namiko, who was boundlessly energetic, Naruto found himself being continually exhausted. Perhaps he'd be concerned, if he knew it wasn't a side effect of The Beast.
"It always asks me to…"Namiko silenced herself, establishing their mental link instead of speaking aloud. If any of the passersby on their walk home had noticed her sudden silence, they surely didn't show it. It was unlikely they did, seeing as everyone gave them a comically large berth at all times.
'It wants me to hurt things. I find myself wondering, if I did, would it be pleased enough to leave us alone? Even just for a little while?' She telecommunicated, large curious eyes locked onto him.
He pursed his lips, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. He knew very well that hurting, was bad. Be it intentional, accidental, or because brain-demons told you so.
The Hokage had said it was bad, therefore, it probably was. At least on a legal level. But morals, those were something that needed to be defined by anyone who held them…. Well, the Hokage had also said that it was okay to hurt people under certain pretenses. Like for the sake of a comrade, or the village, in self-defense, or defense of another. A humming in his mind, one he wasn't sure belonged to Namiko.
So would it be wrong? To hurt, to subsequently kill? And if it was, would it be worth it?
Of course, this was working under the assumption that hurting others, would please the beast at all.
Hurting each other certainly hadn't, because Naruto remembered how much his brain-demon thrashed during all those early childhood fist-fights with Namiko.
This… It warranted research.. A grim smile settled on their faces. The Uzumaki twins loved learning, and wouldn't this be the perfect subject to learn about?
'We should go to the library. I'll need to read up on things like.. Disposal, and the like.'
Namiko grinned, showing far too many teeth. A nearby child suddenly broke into tears.