Hello everyone, and thank you to those who continues to read. And I beg you, if you like my story, drop me a line to tell me! it's so motivating!

A warning this time: there is a mention of attempted suicide in this chapter.

CHAPTER 4

Fourth floor, south wing.

The elevator doors opened and suddenly her chest felt like it was being crushed in a vise. Despite her best efforts, she could hardly get any air into her lungs.

Her vision was blurry and the ground seemed to sway. She could barely make out the numbers written in silver letters next to the rooms on either side of the corridor. Rey suddenly felt the bile rising in her throat. Her heartbeat pulsed loudly against her temples, and all the noises around her were muffled. In fact, on second thought, she couldn't hear any sound at all.

And the hallway just kept moving...

Gravity was working against her, making her legs feel like they weighed a ton, yet she knew she had to get to the room at the end of the hallway.

Room 11.

She gulped painfully and left the elevator. It was strange. The more she walked, the more the end of the corridor seemed to move away, impossible to reach. So she tried to make slow progress, one step after another, leaning against the wall. Finally, by God knows what miracle, she got to the right door.

The vise tightened again, along with her throat. Her fingers gripped the handle.

It was locked. She pushed with all her strength but it was a waste of time. Yet she knew she had to enter. She had to act fast. She tried again. Her shoulder banged against the wood several times and she started screaming, calling for help, as loud as she could. But she had no voice, and when she looked back, she saw no one. She was alone. Alone and helpless in front of the closed door of room 11.

So she started crying and banging her fist against the door.

Kicking it over and over.

Lindsay! Lindsay!

Rey woke up with a start, completely disoriented.

It took a moment to realize that she was sitting on her bed in her little apartment in Greenwich, trembling and drenched in sweat in the middle of her messy sheets. Her hand moved instinctively to her chest and she forced herself to breathe calmly.

It's over. Come on …

Another minute passed before she decided to get up, still a little unsettled, and head for the bathroom. She turned on the water, drank from the tap, and splashed her face several times. Then she stood there for a moment, leaning over the sink to put her thoughts back in order.

She thought she was done with the nightmares. It had been almost two months since they'd come to disturb her sleep, but Rey suspected that her return to the clinic would inevitably bring bad memories to the surface. But it was time to move on. Her life couldn't stay frozen in that incident indefinitely.

Breathe. She's fine. Lindsay is fine….

The young woman observed her reflection one last time in the mirror hanging on the wall, wiped her face with a towel, and returned to the bedroom. The alarm clock on the nightstand displayed 6:30. She knew very well that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, so she drew the curtains. The first rays of the sun were beginning to set the horizon ablaze. A beautiful day was dawning.

She rummaged through her closet, putting on a sports outfit and her running shoes. She tied her hair back, grabbed her keys, and slammed the door of her apartment behind her. Outside, the cool morning breeze made her shiver. She took a deep breath, slid her thumb across the screen of her phone, and ran out into the street, the guitar riff of "Thunderstruck" echoing loudly through her headphones.

OoooooO

Amilyn put a big steaming mug of coffee down in front of Ben.

"Sugar?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

The psychologist settled comfortably in the chair opposite him, crossing her legs. She was wearing a beige pantsuit and had her hair styled in a loose bun at the back of her neck. Amilyn had always been a very elegant woman. She and Leia had known each other for many years, and Ben remembered only too well the weekends spent at "Aunt Amilyn's" house while his mother went to political meetings and his father traipsed about the tundra or the Amazon jungle.

"So, how did it go with Rey?" she asked before taking a sip of her cappuccino.

"Did she come to see you?" Ben shot back immediately.

"No, why would she come to me?"

"Because I may have hinted that I was going to leave."

"And are you? Do you want to leave us?" Amilyn said, leaning against the backrest of her seat.

"You know very well that I like to 'tease' people."

"I know, yes…"

Ben grabbed his cup and took a sip. The psychologist's icy blue gaze was still fixed unblinkingly on him.

"You have to be patient. I know it's hard. I know that you feel helpless, frustrated, angry, afraid for your future in the movie industry, and that you hate feeling dependent."

Of course he was scared. Afraid he couldn't do what he loved most in the world, which was acting. That was his reason for living.

After his accident, his "friends" and colleagues had all shown him concern and sent him messages of support: the director, G.G. Adams, the producers, the entire cast... He had been honored during the movie's press tour, which he was unable to participate in, and fans had raised money for charities that were close to his heart. He had thanked everyone, masked his distress..

The movie business was magical, but it was also ruthless. He still found it hard to believe that he had, in just a few short years, become the darling of filmmakers. He'd alternated between arthouse films and big-budget blockbusters, giving his best in each. The critics were ecstatic, even though he found it hard to believe that anyone could enjoy his performances. He was never satisfied with his performance. He was convinced that he could always do better, that he always had to do better. Maybe if he had done better in the past, his mother and father would have stayed home. Maybe if he'd been a better son, he wouldn't have had to spend all those weekends away from them.

"You also know that you have to get all this out, you have to talk about it," Amilyn added, sympathetic as always.

"We already talk about it twice a week. The next session is scheduled for Monday, right?"

He knew very well that the playful tone he had deliberately adopted did not work with Amilyn. She knew him inside and out.

"That's true, but I can listen to you as a friend, too. We don't need to make an appointment for that."

"I'm not leaving the clinic, Amilyn. I was just tired yesterday, and I didn't appreciate your little protégée lecturing me. I don't need this right now…"

"And?"

She was waiting. She knew there was something else.

"And before the session, I was on the phone with my agent."

Ben was now pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingertips, eyes closed.

"Allan Snoke?"

He sighed and nodded.

"I'd been trying to reach him all week, and yesterday I finally got through to him. I confronted him, and he lied again and tried to put me off. I found out that he arranged to cast other actors in the roles I'd been offered without even trying to defend my interests or negotiate with producers. He didn't even deny it. He blames me for making the decision to do my own stunts back in December. He practically threw it in my face that it's all my fault that I'm in this state. I might not be 'profitable' anymore, so he's no longer interested in me. He didn't actually say that to me, but I know it's what he thinks. So things got heated, and I fired him."

A slight smile appeared on the psychologist's lips.

"Your mother will break out the champagne. She's hated that guy for 40 years. She's always blamed him for your grandfather's downward spiral."

Ben let out a nervous chuckle.

"You mean she's going to organize a parade on 5th Avenue, with a marching band, balloons, tanks and fireworks ! Anyway, I'm starting to think my dad wasn't wrong when he told me that Snoke was only interested in me being Anakin Skywalker's grandson."

Amylin could see that Ben was troubled. Discussions about his famous family were always painful for him.

"When are you going to tell her? Your mother, I mean."

"Tomorrow, I suppose. She invited me to have lunch with her."

"I'm glad to see she's still trying to work things out with you. Leia loves you very much and she's been extremely worried about you."

"I know, Amilyn... " Ben looked up at her. "It's just a shame that we couldn't talk without fighting until after Han died."

"You both have very strong characters."

"When she finds out about Snoke, I just hope she doesn't bring up my quarrel with Luke again."

"Is your uncle still in India?"

"Yeah, he's on a spiritual retreat at some kind of 'center.' He's going to be there for another month, I think."

"He's calling every week to see how you're doing, did you know that?" Amilyn informed him.

Ben started laughing again.

"He's really calling? From his remote outpost in the depths of Rajasthan?"

"Luke has always been a resourceful man."

Amylin's eyes glowed when she said those words and Ben wondered if she actually had a bit of a crush on his eccentric uncle.

"I hope one day you'll make peace with him, too," she added.

This time Ben didn't answer, just set his empty mug down on the coffee table. Amilyn didn't insist.

"So, getting back to Rey Kanata, would it be possible for you not to 'tease' her too much in the future? She just came back to work for me, she's extremely competent, and I am very fond of her."

"So she worked here before. Why did she leave?"

A shadow passed over Amilyn's face and her smile evaporated. Ben saw her think for a moment about whether or not she was going to answer him.

"There was… an incident here at the clinic last year," she began.

The psychologist paused briefly before putting her empty cup in front of her too.

"One of our patients, who was here in physiotherapy rehab, the daughter of a New York business tycoon, attempted suicide in her room. Despite all the precautions we took, the case got out. The story made the front page of the tabloids for several weeks because a relative of the family told reporters everything. Knowing your aversion to tabloids, I'm guessing you didn't hear about all this?"

Ben shook his head in response, but Amilyn could see that he was waiting for the rest.

"We were all in shock," she sighed sadly, "but especially Rey. Lindsay was her patient, and she was the one who found her in time, unconscious in her room, and saved her life by calling for help."

Ben was now staring at the psychologist with a guarded expression.

"I don't understand, did she have any problems because of that ?"

"No, no, no, of course not... But she couldn't help but feel guilty because she and Lindsay had become good friends. Rey said she should've understood, should've seen that the girl wasn't okay. So she needed a break, needed to get away from the clinic for a while. We missed her a lot. But two weeks ago, I finally convinced her to come back, and I'm telling you that this girl is a gem. So do you think you could make peace with her?"

Ben's gaze now seemed lost elsewhere. Amilyn saw him make that little jaw movement that she knew meant he was upset or in the middle of thinking. Then he focused on her again and answered:

"I think I can do that, yeah."

OoooooO

Rey got out of her car and walked briskly towards the main building. She had made up her mind to try to work things out with Ben Solo, assuming he hadn't already left... They normally had a session together at 10:00 a.m., and Rey hoped to meet with him a little earlier to discuss and try to reconcile. She readjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and turned to the right to enter the paved walkway. Her stomach began to growl. Her morning jog had taken longer than expected, and by the time she'd showered and finished getting ready for work, there hadn't been enough time to eat breakfast before leaving for the clinic. She figured she could stop by the cafeteria for tea and a muffin later.

When she finally arrived at the entrance, she saw a large black minivan parked in front of the door. A man was waiting by the vehicle and when Rey walked by, he asked:

"Good morning, Miss. Excuse me, but do you know if I can leave the car parked here, or should I wait for Mr. Solo in the parking lot?

Rey's face fell.

"Are you waiting for Ben Solo?"

"Uh, yeah, I just told you."

"Is he leaving the clinic?"

No, no, no... he was really going to do it, then…

"Well, I just know I have to drive him to New York this morning. I wasn't supposed to get here till ten o'clock, but I had an earlier run in Greenwich, so I'm a little early."

The young therapist looked at her watch. It was 9:15. She did not respond to the driver who called out to her again as she rushed into the lobby, rushed past the reception desk, and barely made it into the elevator just as it was closing.

"Miss Kanata, wait!" Behind his counter, Charles Threepio, in the middle of a discussion with a couple of septuagenarians, also tried to stop her, but it was a lost cause.

In the elevator, she offered a ready smile to Larma d'Acy, who stared at her with an amused look.

"Hello, Larma."

"Hi, Rey. What floor?"

"Third, please."

When the elevator doors opened, Rey jumped out and walked determinedly down the walkway connecting the main building to the south wing.

Ben Solo's file noted that he was in room number nine. Rey came out into the third floor hallway, with its rows of gray doors and beige walls... The images of her nightmare came back to her, and she hesitated for a moment. Her footsteps slowed, but she continued regardless.

When she finally stood in front of Ben Solo's suite, her belly made another funny noise and she suddenly felt a bit lightheaded.

She really should have eaten something before she left.

Then she raised her arm and knocked. She had thought long and hard about what she was going to say to him on the way to the clinic, but she had to admit that low blood sugar and the fact of actually being here put a sudden damper on her resolve.

She heard a rolling sound along the floor, and a few seconds later the door opened.

Ben Solo was standing in front of her, leaning on a small walker, wearing jeans and a white Henley with his sleeves rolled up on his forearms. His lips were still as pink as ever, his shoulders as broad, so she tried hard to look him straight in the eye without flinching. He looked surprised to find her there, and the young woman didn't give him time to ask any questions.

"Hello, Ben. Uh...so here's the thing: we really got off on the wrong foot, and I was thinking that maybe we could start over from the beginning and try to make things better, if that's okay with you, of course. You don't have to leave the clinic, really. I was a little out of line when I yelled at you yesterday and…"

"Stop," he cut her off.

She had been speaking without taking a breath until Ben finally raised his hand in front of her nose to stop it.

"Hello to you too, and no, I'm not leaving the clinic permanently," he announced in a strangely calm and almost amused tone.

Rey stared at him uncomprehendingly, and Ben realized that she must not have gotten his message.

"I asked the front desk to notify you last night, but that obviously didn't happen. I just need to go away for the weekend. My lawyer arranged a mediation for me this afternoon in New York with the suppliers of the defective equipment that was responsible for my accident. I can't miss this meeting. And I'm going to take advantage of the opportunity to go back to my apartment for a bit, since I also have to meet my mother for lunch tomorrow. But I'll be back here Monday morning."

"Oh…" was all Rey could manage to answer as she suddenly had to put her hand on the doorframe to stop herself from falling over.

Her legs seemed unable to bear her weight any longer.

"Hey, are you okay? You look really pale."

She looked up at Ben, who was now watching her with a worried expression.

He then opened the door wide, put his walker aside, and grabbed her hand.

"Yes I…" stammered Rey, feeling even weaker, "skipped breakfast and didn't eat much last night. It's okay, it'll pass."

"Come in and sit down for a while."

"No, it's okay, really. I won't bother you any longer, especially since you have to leave."

Ben squeezed her fingers.

"Look, I'm not really in any condition to catch you if you take a nosedive in the middle of the hallway. So you go in and sit at the table over there, and I want you to eat one of those delicious buns they brought me this morning, and I'll serve you some orange juice. Okay?"

Rey nodded and complied. She entered the room and fell heavily into the chair that Ben had designated for her, taking another look at the actor who had slowly made his way to the kitchen to get a glass and the pitcher of juice from the fridge. He told her once again to help herself from the little basket on the table, and when she bit into the bun she felt revived. She scarfed down the pastry without restraint and immediately grabbed another one. Her mouth still full, she thanked Ben when he placed the cup of juice in front of her before taking a seat in the next chair. He watched her empty the glass and sigh with pleasure, and the corner of his lips rose slightly. Rey couldn't help but notice.

"You should do that more often," she said, setting her glass down on the table.

"Do what? Feed people?" he said, amused.

"No, smile."

Ben seemed a little taken aback. Rey had blurted that out completely without thinking. They stared at each other silently for a moment, and the young woman felt once again like his dark, intense eyes were trying to pierce her soul. Rey was the first to look down. She was sure her face was no longer pale, because she could feel her cheeks heat a little. Thank God for carbohydrates, she tried to convince herself.

Great. Now she had to find something else to say, or else she had to get up and leave. But most of all, she wanted to make sure everything was settled with Ben Solo.

"So we're going to continue working together ?" she asked.

"I think I will indeed benefit from your expertise for a while yet."

The tone of his voice was mocking, but Rey was not offended this time. She felt it was just his way of grasping the olive branch she was holding out to him.

"Thanks for the pastries."

Solo nodded back. The hatchet seemed to be buried at last.

It was almost ten o'clock and the little snack she'd just eaten had reinvigorated her. She dared to offer to help him put on his coat, and Ben accepted. She also accompanied him to the hall, carrying his small travel bag while he praised the new walker that had been provided for him.

"I look like a little old man with this, but it's still a hundred times better than the chair," he joked.

"Soon you won't even need it anymore," Rey replied.

Once he was seated in the car, he put on a baseball cap and sunglasses, and he even waved to her through the tinted window. For some reason, the young woman's heart started beating a little faster. It was ridiculous.

She watched the minibvan pull away from the end of the cypress-lined driveway before she felt Poe Dameron's arm resting on her shoulders.

"Okay, so tell me... is it really true that you've never seen any 'Galactic Wars'?"

"Nope," sighed the young woman, turning her head towards him.

"My poor Rey, we must absolutely correct this outrageous state of affairs! The weather forecast is calling for rain all day tomorrow, which also happens to be your day off, so here's what I suggest: tomorrow morning, you come over and we'll watch all the three first episodes."

"Poe…"

"All right, all right, just the sequel trilogy. Come on, say yes... Come onnnnnnnn. I'll make my awesome vanilla cake for you and Kaydel and the twins."

Poe looked at her with those puppy-dog eyes that must have been impossible to resist when he was young, and that he surely still used to good effect on his wife even today.

"Okay, you win…" Rey gave in.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "You'll see, you'll love it!"

"I'm sure I will," Rey smiled as her friend led her back down the hall.