It was one of those moments that made Neville nervous. He was willing to acknowledge that this one seemed fairly innocuous. There were no giant snakes. There was no one actively trying to kill him. There was no immediate threat, but there was the blatant insanity of the moment.
Watching his gran, barefoot and laughing, with Andromeda Tonks and Narcissa Malfoy was unsettling. Not, oh, that's a bit odd unsettling either. This was full on end of the world, where is my bloody sword, unsettling. Hannah rubbed his back and gently pushed him forward.
"She's never been friendly with Andromeda Tonks. They always stand on opposite sides of the room at events." Neville gestured toward the three women. "I never imagined I'd see her laughing with Lady Malfoy."
"No one did." Hannah laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. "It's better, though, than the alternative."
"I know we're family now, but it's odd." Neville watched Hermione hug her husband. "Well, maybe not so odd."
The quicksilver flash of Luna's patronus darted passed him and stopped at Hermione's feet. It sat, with a twitching nose, and waited. Hermione conjured a misty carrot and offered it to the large bunny.
The patronus absorbed the carrot and Luna's voice emerged.
"The angel's snare is quite fond of Lord Malfoy. We're just beyond the wards near the village path. You'd best hurry."
Hermione grabbed Draco's hand and took off running again.
"She'll have him trained up like a proper Gryffindor in no time." Neville muttered as Hannah towed him along. He glanced next to him and fought the urge to chuckle at the disgruntled expression on Zabini's face.
"Why must we always run?" Blaise glared at the back of Susan's head.
"Because we'll miss all the fun if we waltz." Susan glanced over her shoulder. "We're gonna be the last ones there if you don't get a move on."
"It's a race where Lucius Malfoy is the prize." Blaise shook his head. "I don't want to win."
"Get used to running, mate." Neville sprang forward, lifted Hannah in his arms, and took off.
Neville smirked at the cursing behind him. If Blaise tried to pick up Susan, she'd hex him but good.
"Put me down, Gregory Goyle." Millicent's voice carried from further back.
"It's a race." Greg laughed.
"You're all bloody insane." Blaise yelled.
Lucius Malfoy was fairly certain that a good round at the end of Riddle's wand had been only slightly less horrible than this. The damn plant was braiding his hair. He struggled, but it only seemed to encourage the overblown shrubbery.
"What in the world is that thing?" He could hear his son yelling.
"That is what happens when you leave Hermione and Luna in my greenhouses with a bottle of Luna's wine." An unfamiliar male voice answered. "It's a hybrid of devil's snare."
"And bubble wrap." He recognized the dreamy voice of the Lovegood girl.
"It's what?" Narcissa's less than dulcet screech was most welcome. "Get him out of there. Now."
She was so wonderfully lethal. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. His wife would see this put to rights.
"Did you have to use both?" He recognized the voice of his son's new wife.
"He would have broken through the surface wards in short order." The Lovegood witch had moved closer to his daughter in law. "The deep wards would have killed him. I decided to err on the side of caution, and really when would we ever get a better chance to see our little experiment in action?"
"You've never tested this?" Draco sounded alarmed. "It's braiding his hair! How is a plant braiding his hair?"
"It's not strictly a plant." The unfamiliar male voice was much closer now. The fool was probably trying to see him through the foliage.
"It is a plant. We merely enhanced and slightly altered it. Don't scare them, Neville." The witch his son married sounded amused of all things. "The bubble wrap appears to be protecting him from the more affectionate vines."
"Fix this, Hermione." Augusta Longbottom made no effort to hide her amusement.
"The plant responds to negative emotions. It grows stronger and tries to soothe them. It might release him if he tried thinking happy thoughts." The Lovegood girl also seemed amused. "At least, happy thoughts that don't involve killing us all for putting him through this indignity. I think he might have some issues with his masculine endowment because he stopped speaking after that discussion, but sexual thoughts are usually happy ones."
"If he's happy, do you think it would make a difference?" Hermione's voice was very close. He had to start thinking of the girl by her name. It wouldn't do to call her a mudblood. Draco might take offense.
"Please remove my husband from your clever little trap." Narcissa was frowning. He could hear it.
"What makes him happy?" Hermione sounded genuinely interested.
"Crups? Kneazles? Making money? Power? A solid spanking?" The Lovegood girl did not. Although the idea of Narcissa, dressed all in black, with a paddle was amusing. He chuckled and felt the plant pull back from him slightly.
"Lucius, try to think of happy things." Narcissa sounded stern. He shivered. It was bliss. Listening to her order him about was just what he needed.
Draco took a deep breath and watched as the last bubble popped. His father tried to retain his dignity. He stood stoically through the entire process, but the braids that cascaded in odd ways from the crown of his head were not helpful. His mother's quick wand work restored his hair, but the memory lingered.
"We should get him something to drink." Luna bounced a bubble on the tip of her finger. "Prolonged exposure to the bubbles can cause minor dehydration."
"Let's go grab something." Draco moved to help his father toward the tables.
"He can't go in there." Hermione shook her head. "The wards would kill him. After the attack at Bill's wedding, I studied wards and I helped Bill set these. Anyone with a dark mark, well, it wouldn't be pretty."
"How did Draco get in then?" Lucius demanded.
"He doesn't have a dark mark." Hermione smiled. "Not any more."