The heavy weight on his chest was uncomfortable and most definitely not his wife's head. There was no stray curl tickling his chin. Draco opened his eyes and stared up into the unblinking, amber gaze of his wife's evil side kick. The feline nose pressed to the tip of his was alarming enough, but the creature never did things by halves. The threat revealed in the odd predatory gleam of the cat's eyes couldn't be quantified.
"You can have my bacon." Draco turned his head and swallowed down an urge to shudder when the rough surface of the cat's tongue met his cheek. He'd learned a thing or two living with death eaters. Never show weakness seemed highly applicable in this case.
"That's adorable." Hermione entered the room with a towel wrapped around her head. Her robe was tucked neatly around her curves. "My two favorite males getting along."
"Yes." Draco took a deep breath as the cat bounced off his chest and strolled to the edge of the bed closest to Hermione. "He's a marvel."
"He really is." Hermione scratched the evil beast under its chin. "He's just so beautiful and clever. Aren't you the cleverest?"
Draco watched his wife as she made silly faces at her familiar and decided the beast wasn't so horrible. Anything that loved Hermione enough to tolerate this inane behavior from her must have a good side. A minuscule one. A tiny one. Smaller than a mote of fairy dust.
"I have to leave you two to knock around this place together today." Hermione hummed and pulled a pair of muggle trousers from her wardrobe. "Hannah and I have an appointment."
"You're going to see a healer?" Draco sat up quickly. Hermione's eyes traced over his bare chest before dragging up to meet his gaze.
"I'm going to work with Hannah." Hermione blinked a couple of times. "I consult on difficult cases from time to time."
"You shouldn't hide things." Draco tossed a pillow at her. "You're lousy at it."
"I'm going to see my new parents." Hermione swallowed. "There's a chance Hannah and I could help them."
"Why hide that?" Draco frowned.
"I won't get Neville's hopes up." Hermione sighed. "He's a strong man, but they're his weakness. He spent a lifetime with their living ghosts. Can you imagine?"
Draco shook his head and tried to imagine a world where his parents weren't two forces of nature colliding. His life had been lived in the resulting storm. There were far too many times he'd felt lost and alone, but he couldn't imagine it any other way.
"Nice distraction attempt." Draco smirked at her. "It would have been more effective if you had dropped the robe. Your curves are far more appealing than thinking about my parents."
He enjoyed the bright red blooming in her cheeks. Gods, she was beautiful. It didn't bat away that bludger though.
"Why hide it from me?" He slid off the bed, using his own attributes to distract her. "I'm not going to run to your brother and tattle."
She blinked. Her eyes slid down his torso and back up, and she blinked again. He smiled and stretched his arms up over his head. The quick catch of her breath was all he needed to hear.
"Why not tell me?" He cast his eyes at her knees.
"I'm sorry. I should have." Hermione shook her head and the towel slid from her curls. "It's just Harry and Ron would have told him because it was the right thing to do."
"That hurts." Draco turned away from her slightly. "I'm nothing like them. I'll keep your secrets."
"I'm sorry." Her warm fingers cupped the curve of his shoulder. "I know you wouldn't betray me."
He smiled and shifted around to pull her into his arms. She was his miracle and a very easy mark. He kissed her gently and slid his hands to her hips. Hermione groaned and pulled back slightly. She pushed her fingers down his chest and rested them just above the waistband of his pajama bottoms.
"I also know when I'm being played." She kissed the tip of his nose and smirked up at him. "You should get ready for breakfast. I have to leave soon, and I'd love to share the meal with you."
"Neville is repotting his mandrakes this morning." Hannah shook her head. "He will be busy most of the day though because Luna is planning to stop by with her unknown seeds collection."
"So, he'll need some serious comforting this evening." Hermione grinned at Hannah. "I assume you'll be there to offer a shoulder."
"Sure, because listening to him whine about how she melts his brain is a real turn on." Hannah giggled. "I was going to have Susan go, but she hasn't resurfaced yet."
"Millie's too new. She'd have a hard time fooling him." Hermione nodded. "I suppose I could rescue my brother if you really are reluctant."
"I think you'll have your hands full at home." Hannah smirked. "Draco is spending the day with Crooks. He'll be begging for a quick obliviate by noon."
"Draco gets on just fine with Crooks." Hermione sniffed and tilted her chin up to hide her amused grin.
"Sure he does." Hannah nodded. "He's probably feeding the beast all the bacon on your home as we speak, but bacon on works for so long."
Draco stared at the scattered books on the floor before looking up to the highest bookshelf to see the creature staring down at him. There was no doubt left that the beast was the dark lord of its kind. The weird affection for its mistress was the feline's only saving grace.
"She cares about the books." Draco waved his wand at the texts and floated them back to the shelves. "If you hurt them, she won't scratch under your chin and coo at you."
The beast's eyes narrowed and his tail stilled. Draco continued putting his wife's library to rights. The cat couldn't have understood him. Not really.
When Crookshanks jumped down and strolled off, Draco took a deep breath. He hated admitting, even if it was only to himself and only the smallest amount, that the creature frightened him. The kneazle mix was too intelligent and too dangerous.
The loud crash that sounded from the next floor saw him running. The six suits of armor scattered along the floor stopped him. It was going to be a long day.
"I need a book about making friends with a wife's familiar because bacon clearly isn't the key." Draco sighed and waved his wand at the metal bits lying all over the floor. Another crash sounded above him. "Yep, it's going to be a very long day."