The next day was Christmas Eve and the Heywood clan rode through the fields in sleds at top speed to celebrate the holiday with James and Lord Edgar. They were to spend the night in the luxury of Landsdowne and enjoy Christmas day as a new family.
The staff had outdone themselves preparing a lavish banquet and decorating the halls with holly and ivy and baubles of glass. After the service Christmas Day, the pastor of the local parish married Mrs. Heywood and Lord Peacham in the private chapel at Landsdowne and the general rejoicing was unconfined. Except for James and Charlotte.
Throughout the service their eyes would meet in embarrassment and pain. He needed to harden his heart and she needed to resign herself to fulfilling the duties of a daughter of a peer. His desire to make her his wife began to seem more and more unlikely. Her mind reeled at the prospect of marrying a man for his money and nothing else. He desperately wanted the farmers daughter who read books, she had desperately wanted to escape. There was a sadness too complex for words surging through his veins and throughout that happy day, it burnished into anger.
"There you are James!" Charlotte gaily breezed into the Library. "I wondered where you had gotten off to." she wore a new white gown for the holiday. She reminded him of an angel. He bit his lip and averted his gaze.
"Charlotte." He curtly nodded his head in acknowledgment and continued to read his volume on Medieval farming techniques. She walked around to peek at the cover of his very absorbing book.
Annoyed, he snapped it closed and crossed his arms with the book tucked to his chest. "Is there something I can help you with?" He leaned against the library table with both legs stretched out in a pose that was both relaxed and tense. He picked a piece of lint off of his sleeve while trying with all of his might not to look at her.
Charlotte moved closer and reached up to his hair pretending to pluck a piece of lint from just above his ear. He closed his eyes while his head erupted in tingles. He took a deep inhalation and when he opened his eyes. She was gone.
The rest of the day James, Henry and William spent time playing chess and billiards. They taught Benji and Martin. Charlotte distracted herself with attending to the siblings under 5 yrs of age playing with their new toys.
Later that afternoon, she collapsed onto the settee in the study, exhausted, closed her eyes and fell asleep.
James found her in slumber, a sleeping beauty. He marveled at how her lush curves blended so well with the curved back of the couch. His blood heated. Her brocade slippers were showing and her curls cascaded across her cheeks.
He kneeled next to her and slowly laid his lips upon hers. She reciprocated the kiss, sinking her fingertips into his thick caramel-colored locks. Charlotte tucked her tongue into his mouth. He groaned such a low rumble it felt like a roar. A growl...bite. Neither wanted to stop their glorious lingual exploration. She was wild to be consumed. Consummated.
Panting, he pulled her to her feet and into a tight hug to slow his racing heart.
"Charlotte. I can't stand it anymore." he whispered hotly into her ear. "You must know how much I love you."
"James?" she clutched his lapel, "Look at me." He looked down his heaving chest and beheld the most beautiful, thoroughly kissed woman in the world looking up at him. She lifted her arms and released her thick hair shaking it out around her shoulders and pulled her lace tuck out of her bodice, revealing her hard nipples peeking just above her neckline.
"Are you trying to seduce me?" He questioned, breathless.
"Yes. I am trying to get you to formally compromise me." She ran her hands up the front of his body where he held them to his heart. His breath ragged, his eyes unable to stop staring at her heaving décolletage.
"You know it doesn't work that way with men in my station."
"What do you mean?" She pressed, tilting her head in the most beguiling way.
"I mean," he kept his gaze on her face, "that if a father catches his daughter making love to a poor man, she is told never to see him again. Sometimes the boy is paid off to leave her alone. Sometimes the boy is persecuted. His career destroyed. The result is never forced marriage when a woman's position is higher than the man's."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes. Robinson came to Sanditon because he was paid off by the father of the woman he loved."
"Impossible!" she sat up in astonishment.
"Charlotte. You are the love of my life. I can barely function thinking about you and wondering about your feelings for me."
"James. You are the only man who truly understands me, accepts me completely for who I am. You never lecture me, or scold me, or make me feel bad for having opinions. " Her agitation grew, "Don't you see? You only ever make me feel lucky to be loved by you."
He tilted his head and eyed her suspiciously. He knew she was alluding to Sidney Parker. It was a very pretty speech but she had not said that she loved him too. She was just grateful for him. He pulled away, frustrated, and poked at the flames in the fireplace.
"I am better for you than he was. You know I am! I used to get so angry when I saw him humiliating you. I wanted to punch him. When you formed an attachment I thought my world was upside down. Why? Why a man who drinks too much, gambles, visits brothels, mistreats his ward...what did he have that I didn't?"
Charlotte's face burned with embarrassment. She turned her back to James, her hands feeling her heated cheeks. "Don't make me relive my misguided attachment!" she retucked her lace. "I guess I felt a sense of obligation from Mary. The Parkers had been so kind to me and Mary wanted to see Sidney settled. I do not think I ever truly loved him. How could I have? Georgianna told me never to believe a word he said. I should have listened to her. "
They heard running footsteps in the hall. Charlotte pulled James into the corner with her. Their breathing quickened with the fear of discovery. To squeeze out of view, James leaned against her. She could feel his thigh between her legs. She braced her back against the wall. arched against him. He groaned, his eyes closed. The running in the hall continued. They froze.
"I think they are playing Sardines!" Charlotte whispered. She quickly pulled together a makeshift bun should they be found.
James grabbed the nearest paper and sat in a chair. He crossed his legs and tried to distract himself. Charlotte took up a piece of needle work and sat across from him, feigning interest.
"I think they must be upstairs by now. " Charlotte smiled devilishly at James and they both laughed. James put the paper down and sat next to Charlotte to admire her piece. "See? Will it do?" It was a handkerchief with a bluebird on it.
"Charlotte." He whispered her name soft and low rubbing his lips against her ear. "I do not mean to upset you, please forgive me if I ever do. When Mr. Sidney engaged Mrs. Campion again, He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he couldn't live up to your expectations. He knew he couldn't be faithful. But Charlotte," He touched his forhead to hers, "I can."
Magnetically she felt pulled toward his flushed face. "No man can hold a candle to you, James. I do love you." She quickly retook his lips, her hands embracing his chiseled cheeks. They needed each other.
"Oh God, Charlotte. Marry me this minute before I take you right here on this couch." She accidentally reached down and laid her hand on his cock, hard and pressing incessantly against the fabric of James, breeches.
"Charlotte!" His eyes darkened with desire and surprise.
"James?" Charlotte gasped his name as he reached behind her and cupped her behind. "Come to my room tonight. Make me your wife."
"No." James shook himself to clear his head and righted her dress. "I want permission and a proper betrothal."
"No." She was unstable on her legs and nearly incoherent. "I want you tonight. In my room. Just like old times."
"Let us see what Lord and Lady Peacham say. If yes, I will, if no..." Just then, Benji ran in and searched the room for the Sardines.
Once upstairs they quickly kissed for courage and went their separate ways, Charlotte to change and visit with her mother. James to bathe, change and visit with the Lord.
Both were completely taken off guard by the negative answers they received.
"Charlotte, my darling girl. It isn't that we don't adore James, we do. He is just like one of the family. Unfortunately, the family is now in a position to make some very great marriage conquests. Alliances are not bred from love and passion. They are a sad fact of existance."
"But mother! You have five other daughters who can take wealthy husbands! Why am I required to abandon my happiness?"
"Because you are the eldest! You are the most beautiful. You already have connections in Lady Susan that could elevate you in a way that could secure the future of Landsdowne for centuries.
"Don't believe it, mother. These peerages won't be saved by other peers. James tells me they are all over extended. I refuse to do as you bid. I will happily live in a gutter, than in a ballroom full of glitter." and with tha she stormed off to her room.
Dinner was a less than cordial affair. Charlotte and James stared at their food, speaking little and stealing unhappy glances. Lord and Lady Peacham pretended nothing had happened.
"Well family, allow your mother and I to share the plan for the next year. In order to save on the cost of heating a huge house, we will close Landsdowne until Spring and set up at the Peacham Town House in Grovenor Square. "
"The whole family, Papa Edgar?" Toby was confused, "Even James?"
James didn't miss a beat. "I will be in London, working, Tobykin but I will stop by from time to time and take you to the park... if I am allowed." He gave Lord Peacham a disgusted side glance.
"Will James have a big room there like he does here?" Maggie chimed in.
"Well, not exactly like that Maggie. James is a guest of Lord Peacham's." It was clear to the little ones that James belonged in the family which made their mother very uncomfortable.
"Charlotte and Alison will be presented at court this season, so you will need new dresses. Is not that exciting Maggie?" It was important that the new Landsdowne Peacham clan be present, be seen, be accounted for. Sir Edgar needed to rejoin society.
"Will I get a new dress too?" asked little Maggie.
"Of Course." Said Allison. "I'll make it out of the fabric you like."
"Allison you don't have to sew the dress for her, we can have measures taken and dresses made at the seamstresses." Mrs Heywood even began to sound like a Lady Peacham.
"I would like to make it myself, if you don't mind, Mother. It will give me something to do to take my mind off of being anxious at balls and parties." James gave her an encouraging smile of resignation. He knew how she felt.
That night..Harper packed James' valise in preparation for leaving Landsdowne. Convinced that Charlotte would forever be unattainable. His heart bled.