Prologue: The Beginning
25 June 1975
"So, help me, Merlin."
Sirius Orion Black never said that he was a good son. That thought hadn't occurred to him for the last four years. He had more pressing issues to deal with like James's obsession (or infatuation as he called it) with that foul-mouthed Evans. If Sirius was honest, he'd admit that he hadn't expected that from Evans, the same girl who showed up every year to King's Cross with a neatly pressed skirt. The Evans following her with the same look they likely had the first time they dropped her off – the awe twinkling in their eyes as robed families nodded at them, the pride that radiated off them when Evans was greeted warmly by her friends. Her sister tended to trail behind them, looking like she had dung under her nose, a scowl etched onto her plain face. Mind you, the girl wasn't a lost cause. Though Sirius didn't have much of an opinion on Evans, he wasn't the type of person to lie. It hadn't been lost on him that Evans was easy on the eyes. Her sister was less attractive, but in his opinion, she'd look way better without that sneer. Envy made you ugly, that was common sense.
Oddly enough, the mouth that Evans had on her reminded him of his mother, Walburga Black. The two could bond over how much they screamed at Sirius. Though he must admit that Evans had a much more colorful vocabulary. His mother would rather keel over and die than to repeat what Evans had said to him and James after a particularly disastrous prank had sent half the Slytherin house and a few Hufflepuffs to the infirmary. Sirius reckoned it had to do with her upbringing. Only Merlin knows what those Muggles teach their children. It couldn't be anything good, seeing as Evans would rather spend time with that greasy, little snake that was Severus Snape.
When James first started pursuing her, Sirius was sure that she'd come around and accept his offer to Hogsmeade. He hadn't expected the nasty Bat-Bogey hex that came flying at James's head ten minutes later. Though after speaking to Marlene McKinnon, who witnessed the aforementioned proposal, it hadn't surprised him. He loved James. Brothers to the end. But Merlin was that boy thick. And Moony thought Sirius was thick for purposely antagonizing his Mother. It was one thing to do it on purpose, but what had James expected after the first few words that came out of his mouth were: "thought that greasy snake was never going to leave you alone."
Sirius gave it a few more months before Evans finally caved. Then finally, James would stop redirecting forlorn schoolgirls to him. The attention didn't bother him, in fact, it felt wonderful to be doted on again. A quick snog was one thing but trying to slip love potions into his pumpkin juice was something entirely different. There'd been five attempts in just one month. His Father had warned him, speaking out of experience, but much like everything else that his family told him, it went in through one ear and came out the other.
Sirius rarely let down his guard. First, there was Snivellus to consider, the greasy bat who never missed the opportunity to hex either him or James. Last time Snivellus caught him off guard, Sirius spent three hours with Madam Pomfrey, who dealt with the modified curse that enlarged his head. It suited him, or so Regulus said to him while James scrambled to keep his head from hitting the ground. Could have broken his neck.
Then there were the girls. Too many to remember if Sirius was honest. Packs of giggling girls who snuck glances at him whenever Sirius was in a five-meter vicinity. Pure-blood heiresses sent by their mothers to reel him in with their talk of high society. The debut of another Greengrass. The failed courtship of the Bulstrode girl. It could be any one of them, who tried over and over to entrap him with love potions and enchantments they found in The Modern Witch's Guide to Finding a Respectable Wizard. If Sirius ever came face-to-face with that awful Skeeter woman, he swore on his magic that he'd wring her neck for all the trouble she's caused him.
Then there was the incident. The incident that had put him in St. Mungo's four hours ago. He blamed James. On the way back to London, tucked safely away in their compartment; Moony had fallen asleep against the window, while Peter ate through a stack of chocolate frogs, hoping to find Beatrix Bloxam's card. Sirius had been entranced by James who filled his head with plans. Spending an entire week with the Potters, while his family attended yet another engagement party. Quidditch at the Potter estate. Summer nights of sneaking out to slum it with Muggle teenagers.
Someone had finally succeeded. Sirius had to acknowledge that whoever had done it was exceedingly clever. They must have spent weeks watching them, or how else would they have known that Moony hated American chocolate. Too sweet, it aggravated his finely tuned senses. They knew that only one person in their pack of friends would eat it. Of course, Sirius would take it, anyone close to him could attest to the damned sweet tooth he'd gotten from his mother. He had happily eaten it without a second thought, but the worst of it all didn't come until after they were in London. Nothing seemed amiss. Moony thumping him in the head when Sirius shouted into his face to wake him. James slinging his arm over his shoulder when they made their way out to the platform. Peter quickly hopping off to find his mother, who seemed to grow thinner every time Sirius saw her.
He'd reluctantly shrugged off James's arm when the sight of Walburga Black's disapproving scowl grew too much to bear. Sirius could handle her, after all she was his mother. But James, the same James who couldn't comprehend the idea of a mother rejecting her own child. He wouldn't be able to take it. So, Sirius did what he was best at – smiling goodbye to the Potters, a grin at Moony, a reassuring nod at James, then trudged back toward his Mother, who stood in all her blue blood arrogance, next to his Father. Sirius's reflection, albeit slightly older, grey just beginning to pepper his finely combed black hair. Regulus had already found them, he stood there, behind their Mother (typical Sirius had snorted) staring unabashedly at a Muggle family, dressed in denim and oversized shirts. What a sight compared to his family dressed in their elegant, properly fitted robes. His Father had just greeted him when it happened. It felt like cold water had washed over him, drowning his senses until there was only one thing – person – he could think about.
"I think I'm in love." Those were the first words out of Sirius's mouth. Regulus whirled to face him, mouth wide open with amusement, but it was hard to ignore the alarm written all over his face. But it was his mother that Sirius was watching. Her scowl had deepened, deep furrows nestled between her eyebrows, she likely thought it was another one of his ill-conceived stunts to irritate her.
"I'm in love." Sirius firmly said with conviction. This time he was sure of it. "I want to spend the rest of my life with her."
"With who?" Regulus cautiously approached him, peering up at him to look Sirius in the eyes. "Sirius, who are you supposedly enamored with?"
"It's not supposedly," Sirius snapped loudly, turning toward his baby brother. He still towered over him, no matter how much Regulus ate. "I am in love!"
"With who?" But by then, the two quarrelling Black brothers had drawn the attention of nearby bystanders. Even James who'd been halfway through greeting Moony's father turned to him. Confused hazel eyes behind those round frames.
"Piss off Reg." He'd felt very much attacked by his father's piercing glare. What did that prat know of love? Sirius doubted that Orion Black had ever had any love for Walburga Black. "James! James! Where are you James! I need your help! You're the only bugger that I know who's taken rejection five times like a champ."
Amused stares from a nearby group of girls. A chortle from behind him. They weren't who Sirius was looking for, but then again, who was he looking for?
"Vance?" Sirius mumbled. "No, it can't be. Chittock? No, that's not right either. MacDonald?! McKinnon?! Meadowes?! Jenkins?! Dearborn?!"
His head was splitting in two. It was so utterly painful that Sirius could hardly stand up straight. It was as if the world was spinning around him like he had downed two bottles of fire whiskey. But what amused him was the concerned look on James's face when he hurried over, barely managing to keep Sirius from collapsing.
"Who is it?" Sirius groaned, sinking further into James's arms. "I don't remember who it is! Who is it! James, tell me who it is! Who am I in love with?"
"Sirius!" They were calling his name from all directions. Was that his mother digging her nails into his arm? What a scene they must be causing for the whole wizarding world to see. Sirius wondered if that would make the society's page in the Daily Prophet tomorrow. It wouldn't be the first time that they wrote about him. Pain overtook his thoughts again. Sirius needed to think it through – who was he in love with? It shouldn't have been that easy to forget the love of his life's name, or face for that matter. It had to be a Gryffindor. Sirius would never bother himself with a Slytherin. Too uptight for their own good. Everything was about purity with them. Blood purity. Purity until marriage. Blah! Prudes were always the wildest in bed. At that thought, Sirius burst out laughing. Ah, the Black madness finally took him. He roared in laughter until he could hardly breathe. Tears filling his eyes. It stung. Everything stung. Where was his love? Had she already left him? Why would she do that so suddenly? Had he not offered her everything he had?
Or had his mother done something to her? He wouldn't put it past her. A hex. No, it must be some Dark curse dredged up from one of those ancient books in the Black library. Fury filled his gut. It burned. All these emotions leaving him even more confused. "You damn harpy, you must have done something to her!" Sirius shouted, struggling against whoever's arms were holding him.
"What have you done to her?" Now, Sirius couldn't see. It was all a blur. "I knew you were a terrible mother, but I didn't think you were capable of this!"
More students filled the platform, making it almost impossible to breathe. He'd never find her in a crowd this large. He tore at the arms of his captor, roughly swiveling his head, looking through the sea of confused faces. For a moment, Sirius thought he saw Snivellus snickering at him. By his side, Evans stood watching him. A bewildered overtaking her delicate features as if he had gone mad. Evans. Evans. Evans! It was Evans!
Of course, it had to be Evans! Evans with her fiery personality that matched her hair. Those green eyes had entrapped him from the moment they'd met all those years ago. Why hadn't he noticed until now? Perhaps, his loyalty to James had prevented him from seeing the truth. The truth that Lily Evans was the only girl Sirius Black would ever marry. But wait! Sirius's mind grinded to a halt. He had so much competition. There was James. And Snivellus. And who knew how many more had been enchanted by his Lily! Sirius growled at the very thought that his Lily would choose someone else besides him. To hell with Potter! Sirius was a Black! And he deserved the best. Sirius needed to do something now! He had to keep Lily for himself! Lock her in Grimmauld Place? No, she'd leave the second that his mother opened her mouth. Flee to America? That had promise.
In a moment of clarity, Sirius could see everything – his mother, emitting pure fury, while she barked an order at Kreacher; his father watching with cool indifference as if it were Sirius's fault, and Regulus who had taken James's place of holding him up by the waist. To the side, Remus had joined James, watching in complete disbelief. Mr. Potter waving a hand in his face, reassuring Sirius in a calm voice that everything would be alright. Then it was gone. It left as soon as it came. Sirius threw himself to the ground, taking his brother with him. They hit the concrete with a loud smack. Regulus let out a loud yelp as Sirius landed on him. Before anyone could grab him, Sirius dug his elbow into Regulus's stomach, balancing himself before taking off in one long stride. A hand grabbed at him. Another grabbed at his robe. But he shoved them aside, knocking down a few first years who were standing in his way to his beautiful Lily. That was all it had taken for the crowd to split – no one wanted to be mowed down by a deranged Black.
The pain grew even more. His lungs were burning. There she was! The light of his life. The flower of his garden. Snivellus stepped forward, the amusement gone from his face, his hand reaching for his wand that was in his robes. Without a thought, Sirius took Snape by the shoulder, putting all his strength into shoving him away. Sirius thought he heard a groan; had he thrown Snivellus into some unsuspecting family? No matter.
Lily Evans in all her glory stood in front of him. Her family stood there by her side, even that horse-faced sister of hers, whose eyes were wide open. It was good that they were here, Sirius thought to himself. One less thing he had to worry about.
"Lily, my love, I've finally found you!" Sirius bellowed, teetering on his feet out of excitement. "My dear, dear Lily! You've been away for far too long! How I've missed your eyes, the color of fresh-pickled toad. Your hair, the color of passion that fills my heart."
"Black, have you finally lost it?!"
Sirius turned away from her to face the Evans, his future-in-laws. "Mr. Evans. Mrs. Evans. I have nothing to offer but my heart. I swear to you that I will make Lily the happiest woman to have ever existed. Of course, if you'll let me have her."
Grim faces. Never a good sign. But Sirius would elope if he must, just like Cousin Andromeda. Their love would conquer all. "Lily, please know that I have loved you since the moment I met you. You are the reason I live," he knelt. His head throbbed. "Please marry me, Lily Evans! You're the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want you to carry my children. I'll give up everything for your love. Everything! The Black title- "
Everything went black.
When Sirius finally awoke, he was in a white, sterilized room. At first, he lay there, not fully realizing what had happened. Had Snape sent him to St. Mungo's? What curse had he used this time? But it slowly came back to him, leaking through like a broken cauldron. Oh Merlin. What had he done? That was the beginning of a terrible summer holiday.