Another week passed before Corric was comfortable with letting Kolya return home. When Mina was finally able to get him home, part of her wished that she could send him back. In her few visits to his bedside, he had barely spoken to her. One of the times, he was angrily lashing out at everyone around him, so Corric had turned her away before she could see him. Now that he was standing here in their home, she was unsure of what she was supposed to do. He hadn't spoken the entire walk home and he still remained silent as he walked over to his chair and eased down into it. Mina watched him wince in pain as he adjusted his arm that hung in a sling.
"Can I get you anything Acastus?" she asked hesitantly, keeping her distance.
He gestured with his good arm in the direction of his liquor bottle, indicating that he wanted a drink. Mina shook her head in disapproval.
"Corric said you weren't supposed to have an alcohol for a while. He said it will slow down the healing process."
Kolya scoffed at her answer and went back to ignoring her presence. Mina sighed and walked towards her bedroom. She stopped and scooped up the bottle he had asked for and carried it into her room, deciding to remove the temptation by hiding it out of sight. She placed the bottle in the bottom drawer of her dresser under some of her lesser used clothing, including her wedding dress. Before closing the drawer, she ran her fingers gently over the dress. When she had stood up and married her husband, she hadn't foreseen this outcome. She didn't expect to be caring for an angry man with a gunshot wound that wanted to drink away his pain. She closed the drawer and walked back out into the main room.
"Are you hungry at all?"
Her question hung in the air as he refused to answer her. Mina sighed again and made her way to the kitchen to make some dinner. He had to eat eventually, so she may as well have something ready for him when that time came. She sat alone at the table eating her dinner, watching his sit silently on the other side of the room. If this was going to be a regular thing from now on, Mina would surely lose her mind. She had gotten used to his companionship and now it had been stolen from her before she had a chance to appreciate it. Once she was finished with her dinner, she placed his in the cooler box and walked in his direction.
"If you decide you are hungry, your dinner is in the cooler."
The only response she got was him shifting in his chair. She ignored his flippant attitude and acted as if nothing was wrong, gently patting his knee sympathetically.
"I know you're disappointed Acastus, and I know you are in a lot of pain. Things will get better again; I know they will. You are too valuable to Cowen for him to cast you off completely."
This time she was granted a response, but not the one she wanted. Kolya stood up from his chair quicker than she expected, knocking her over to the floor. He looked down at her with a furious expression covering his face.
"There is no way you could know that. Things are not that easily fixed. You can't always have your brother step in and fix it for you by marrying you off. Although it seems that plan has failed as well since I no longer seem to be in good standing, so you are stuck right back where you were."
Without another word, he stomped off to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. Mina sat on the floor, frozen in shock. In the months that they had been married, he had never shown her anger. Now it had come out in full force, and it slightly terrified her. She stood up slowly from the floor and walked into her own bedroom. Sitting down on her bed, she tried to keep her mind from going to places she didn't want it to. He was just frustrated from his current situation, that's all. Things will get better.
Over the course of the next few weeks, things did not get better. Every time her husband would try to do something that would require the use of both his arms, he would get irrationally angry. Mina watched him break things and knock things over. She was immensely grateful that he was taking his anger out on objects and not her. Still, she flinched every time she heard the yelling and crashing that indicated another object in their home was a victim of her husband's rage.
Every night when she returned from her work in the infirmary, Mina found him sitting silently in his chair staring into the fire. The only consolation she felt was that he would still eat dinner. He remained silent, but at least he was eating. He would finish his dinner and then disappear into his bedroom. Mina would watch him walk away and then proceed to clean up any messes that had been made during the day by his anger.
Things wouldn't be so bad if she had someone to talk to. Thali still wasn't speaking to her and Caleb was busy all the time. Since they had lost so many of their soldiers in her husband's failed mission, Cowen had enforced more military training. This meant that Caleb had virtually no free time. It also meant that there were more injuries coming into the infirmary. By the time she returned home, Mina was exhausted. Still, she pushed through her nightly routine of cleaning up the carnage of her husband's rage.
One day she was on her way home when she ran into a group of people returning from the fields. Among the group was her sister. She kept step with the group and called out to her sister.
"Thali! May I speak with you for a minute?"
Thali stopped walking and crossed her arms over her chest, pinning her sister with an annoyed stare.
"What do you want Mina?"
Thali's attitude towards her pushed a final button inside her and Mina could no longer hold in the emotional baggage she had been burying.
"I want to talk to my little sister! Is that so much to ask?"
Thali seemed taken aback by her sister's outburst. However, she maintained her cold front.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"I miss you Thali. I miss having someone to talk to. I miss my best friend. I don't know what you hope to accomplish by giving me the cold shoulder for weeks on end."
Thali's annoyed expression quickly changed to match her sister's fiery anger.
"Do you know what it feels like to have someone you deeply care about ripped away from you? Someone that didn't have to die?"
Mina was shocked that Thali would ask her that question.
"Of course I do! I watched both of our parents die! You were too young to remember, but Caleb and I had to stand and watch while they executed our father by firing squad! I was 16 and I watched him die right in front of me!"
Thali's angry expression softened and transformed into one of regret.
"Mina…I didn't…"
"Do you want me to feel as miserable as you do? Well you got your wish! You lost Kai, and that is truly horrible. I lost something too. My husband barely looks at me and he only speaks when he is lashing out in anger. I finally was getting the chance to have something good in my life and it once again has been taken from me."
Mina could feel the angry tears rolling down her face, but now that she had started, she couldn't stop.
"Had he been taken from me like you lost Kai, maybe I could recover. This is almost worse. He's right in front of me and I can't do anything to help him. You have the chance to move past your loss. You will always remember Kai and it will always hurt that he was taken from you, but you are young and have the chance to move on. I have a duty to my husband and I am failing!"
Thali closed the distance between them and pulled her sobbing sister against her in a tight embrace. She made soothing sounds as Mina sobbed into her shoulder.
"I'm sorry Mina. It wasn't right for me to be angry at you. You didn't do anything. I needed someone to lash out at, and you were a convenient target."
The two sisters stood there for several minutes, holding onto each other. When Mina's sobs started to ease up, she stepped back, breaking the embrace. Thali wiped some of the tears from her sister's face.
"You don't always need to be so strong Mina. I wish you would have told me this sooner. Maybe I wouldn't have been such a jerk to you for so long. You should have told me to get my act together. I'm no longer a child."
Mina nodded at her sister's words and was relieved that the anger between them had been dispelled so quickly. She embraced Thali again before motioning in the direction of her home.
"I should be getting home."
Thali's expression turned to one of concern and she looked her sister's face over. She grabbed Mina's arms and gave them a thorough look-over.
"He isn't hurting you is he?"
Mina shook her head.
"No he's not. At least not physically. Can't say the same for my spirit. For once in my life, I feel like giving up. Every day I feel a little more of my strength seep away."
Thali gave her the look of pity that Mina had come to be accustomed to. She linked arms with her sister as they began the trek back to her home. Thali released her when they reached her front steps, but grabbed her hand again to get her attention.
"Give him time Mina. Caleb has been telling me over and over that he's sure no one regrets what happened more than Kolya. I'm sure the names of all those we lost are floating around in his head. It is probably eating him alive and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Time will tell, if you give it the chance to."
Mina smiled at her sister's words. Even at 17, she was wise beyond her years. She waved at Thali as the younger woman walked away and turned to enter her house. She was surprised to find it dark. She turned on the lamp near the door and looked around the room. It was a complete disaster. She followed the trail of carnage to her bedroom door, which was wide open. Mina turned on the light for her room and was surprised by what she found.
Her entire dresser looked like it had exploded. In front of it sat her husband, the bottle of liquor that she had hidden empty in his hands. He appeared to be unconscious. Mina clambered over her belongings to his side, pressing her fingers to his neck, searching for a pulse. She let out a sigh of relief when she felt the thrumming beneath her fingers.
Mina reached out and removed the empty bottle from her husband's hands, placing it on top of her dresser. Situating herself against the dresser, she gently eased her unconscious husband down so his head was resting on her lap. Taking extra care to protect his injured shoulder, she pulled one of her spare blankets out of the mountain of things on the floor and draped it over him. Exhausted from her busy day and her outburst with Thali, Mina quickly fell asleep leaning against her dresser, softly running her hands over her husband's hair.
A/N: Another update for you all! I hope to update again in the next few days while I'm on a roll. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!