DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail. I would totally screw it up so let's be grateful ˚˘˚

Thank you everyone who reviewed! You're super amazing so thank you!

Oh and after note. I DO NOT THINK THAT SUICIDING WILL GET RID OF YOUR PROBLEMS. I DO NOT SUPPORT SUICIDING IN ANY WAY AND I DO NOT THINK YOU SHOULD THROW AWAY YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE IF SOMEONE WISH IT OFF. That was for entertainment purposes ONLY. I found out that one of my friends has been having suicidal thoughts for a long time now and if anyone out there is having these thoughts, I hope you know that you can reach out to anyone and we'll be there for you. Confide in someone, anyone, please.

You're not alone.

When I reach home, the first thing I do is flop down on the couch and press my hand against my face and sigh. I stare at the pictures covering the walls.

My favorite one hangs across from me, a man with red hair beaming at the camera while a boy with salmon hair and a white scarf around his neck frowns at it, arms crossed.

I remember that day clearly and maybe I like that picture best because it's the last one I got to take with him.

*Flashback*

"Oh, c'mon Natsu! You don't hate me!"

"Yeah, I do!" I yelled back.

Dad laughed, "Right, what was your dumb reasoning for that?"

"That! What you just said is exactly why I hate you!"

"What, that you're stupid?"

"Yes!"

"Well it's true, isn't it?"

"Shut up!"

Dad snickered and I glared at him. "One picture isn't going to kill you!"

"Pssh, so what!?"

"Just take one!"

"Why should I?"

Dad smiled sadly. "You never know when you'll be taking the last picture."

And the next day when I woke, he was gone.

Tears well up in my eyes but I push them away. My father has been missing for four years now. I've been living by myself for four years.

I hug my knees. Most days I don't think about it, but sometimes I succumb to the pain and numbness of having nobody. My friends have no idea, my teachers have no idea, and I have nobody. People say to trust your friends but all they would do is look at me like I am an abandoned, stray puppy. I'm not and I don't want them to change the way they interacted with me just because of my past.

A picture of my mother hangs next to the one of me and my dad. Her smile could light up a whole room, I'm told. I believe it. Benevolent, big, innocent eyes stare back at me and I smile slightly. Her waist-length white hair, genetic apparently, hangs in curls behind her and I close my eyes. Just once I'd've liked to meet the person I call mom.

She died when I was born. It makes me feel like a murderer. Sometimes I've wondered, why me? but it's no use. It's like stumbling through the darkness. When I trip and have no purpose, no motivation to get back up, I have to pick myself up anyway and move on or the world is going to leave me behind.

And I'm afraid I'll never find my way back.

The alarm rings and I moan and run my hand through my pink spikes and yawn. I glance at my digital clock and it reads 12:50 AM.

Good, I won't be late.

I slowly dress into my work uniform and place a messenger bag with my street clothes and school supplies in it over my shoulder. I close my apartment door at approximately 1:00. I walk down the stairs and stretch at the bottom. I shove my hands into my pockets and start to walk. My work place, which is about 10 miles away, takes me two hours to get to. The public bus doesn't run from the hours 12-5. You don't have to pay a fare for public buses and the ones that run all night charge you a 100 J fee. I don't really want to waste money when I can just walk…plus I seriously suffer from motion-sickness...

I settle into a jog and walk when I get a little out of breath. My boss works me hard and I don't like to be tired when I get there. The walk is long but I don't mind. I like to look at the city as it sleeps. The quiet slumber of the place is peaceful with only the stars and I witnessing the beauty.

The city at night is my secret hideout. It's where I can just be myself and just be free. People think they're free but they don't know true freedom until there are no rules to break, no river you can't cross, no mountain you can't move.

That's what I feel as I witness Magnolia snore with my own eyes. As I witness the insects move of their own accord instead of getting swatted every few seconds. I stop and watch the fireflies. They're like stars on the ground, fallen stars trying to get back up, they're just not strong enough.

The lightning bugs wink at me and I smile and move on. Sometimes I feel like the insects, getting pushed around, trying to assert myself only to be smushed.

A yellow butterfly crosses my path and I look at it, startled and then laugh. "What are you doing up, little buddy? Going to your job?"

I smile sadly at my own joke and continue to walk. I don't really feel bad for my predicament… My day goes like this:

8:00 AM; school

3:00 PM; school ends

3:30 PM; reach home and start homework (if there is any)

4:30 PM; finish homework

4:40 PM; have a bath then go sleep

12:50 AM; wake up and head off to work

3:00 AM; reach and start work

6:00 AM; leave work

8:00 AM; school

I'm just glad I have a home and I don't have to live in a shelter. It's not so much there's something wrong with living in a shelter, but if I can support myself, I don't see why I need to take up space when someone else can live there.

I accidentally kick a rock and stare at it before picking it up and smiling at it. I pet it and say, "I'm really sorry little guy, I didn't see you there."

I can feel the insects calling me a weirdo and I set the rock down and stare at it a little. I decide to walk on before it starts answering me.

I know insects might think I'm weird for talking to a rock but you never know. It could be strong on the outside but when people push it around, it breaks more and more on the inside.

Just like me.

I stop outside 4130 Canal Dr., Magnolia. Heartfilia Hospital.

I go in through the employee entrance and sit down on the bench near the entrance. "Hey Natsu!" a cheerful voice calls.

I smile. "How are you, Rin-San?" I call back.

"I'm good!" she smiles and waves as she pushes open the door into the main hallways of the hospital.

I sigh and get up, making my way to the elevator. I stand there as the door closes and push the highest numbered button. As the elevator rises to the 3rd floor, I lean my head against the back of the elevator.

It's hard…working for Jude Heartfilia. I'm just glad Lucy doesn't know I'm his personal servant from 3-6 AM. The rich snob would probably just tease me for the rest of eternity. For some reason, Mr. Hearfilia doesn't like working at normal hours. If I had to guess, I'd say it was because his wife was dead and he didn't want to work the hours he used to, when he got the call that she was raped and murdered.

The elevator dings open and I slowly walk down the hallway to the last door that awaits me. I inhale and knock on the door.

"Come in," an unpleasant voice to my ears says. The first time I heard it, I thought it sounded slightly demanding with a hint of insecurity behind it, so little, I was sure I had made it up.

The voice has changed over time for me. No longer slightly pleasant, it makes me want to throw up whenever I hear it.

I open the door and bow deeply to him. He nods at me and I straighten up and close the door behind me. "Is there anything I can get you, sir?"

Mr. Heartfilia blinks at me and then grimaces. "Get me some coffee, boy. And do it quickly, you're so inefficient it's no wonder your dad abandoned you."

I grit my teeth and bow again. "Yes, sir."

I get out of the room and lean against the door before standing up and hurrying to the coffee room. I would have quit this job by now had it not been for the fact that Jude Heartfilia was the only one who would hire me. Everyone else slammed their doors on me. They didn't want to take someone as young as 13 for a job at that time. And Mr. Heartfilia pays generously but it's probably nothing to him, not a nice gesture like I thought it was in the beginning. I keep coming here 5 days a week because I can't make someone who needs a place at the shelter live on the streets because I am taking up the one room they need. So I keep going, ignoring the words he speaks that have me thinking of suicide.

I never suicide because of my parents. I want their family to go on even if they aren't going to ever see it.

I tap my fingers on the table as the coffee brews, finally spilling into the cup. Once the coffee has stopped pouring, I hurry back up to Heartfilia's office, making sure not to burn my fingers by spilling the coffee.

I knock on his door and he says, "Come in," again. I open the door to see Mr. Heartfilia glaring at me. "That took two minutes boy. You better be faster next time."

My jaw drops open and I immediately close it. He just wants a reason to yell at me. Two minutes is nothing, it's hardly a wait. I would love it if everything only took two minutes. I would thank someone every time they waited hand and foot on me instead of treating them like an annoying fly that was pestering me!

"Well?" he asks sharply, staring at me. My eyes widen.

"I'm sorry, sir. I will do better next time, I promise. Sir." I add hastily at the end.

He nods and continues his work. "What are you standing there, looking at me like that for?" he asks angrily after a while.

"I stand here to serve you, sir. Your wish is my command," I manage to say without sticking my finger down my throat and gagging.

He grimaces at me but doesn't say anything. Apparently he is content with my answer. It is a rare event and I manage not to slump in relief. The first thing he said (aside from "Come in") when I was sent to his office was, "I can tell you'll be no good. You're slumping."

"Take these to the mail room and put them in the right box," he says, pushing a huge pile of papers into my arms making me stumble backwards. I somehow manage to open the door without dying and I close it behind me. I stumble into the open doors of the elevators and press the button labeled 1 with my shoe. I wait for 30 seconds and then the elevator dings and opens. I manage to make it to the mail room and place the stack of papers down. There must be at least a thousand papers to be mailed here.

I pick up the first 100 sheets and slowly put them into the right boxes. It's like he wants to make my life as difficult as it can possibly be… But then again, he probably does… The sheets are upside down or backwards most of the time and when I flip it and get a few papers in, the papers are again upside down and/or backwards. The names are hard to find as there are no "To: Blanks". It's more, "As you are the manager of the lobby…" and I have to figure out who the manager of the lobby is.

I sigh in defeat. Jude Heartfilia and his daughter hate my guts, it's as simple as that. After about an hour, I finish putting each paper in what I'm pretty sure is its proper mailboxs before staggering back upstairs. I glance at my watch as I knock on Heartfilia's door. I only have about an hour and a half left of pure torture, thank Mavis.

"Come in," the voice says again. I march in and close the door behind me.

Mr. Heartfilia nods at me without actually looking at me.

"Can I ask you something, boy?"

"Yes, Mr. Heartfilia." No, I don't want you to ask anything! Is what I mean to say, but I don't.

"What is it like to kill your own mother?"

I'm plagued by horror at the question. "What?" I murmur quietly.

"I just wanted to know, that's all."

"I-I don't know because I've never killed anyone, much less my mother," my distressed voice says, starting to rise in volume.

"Shut up, boy. Don't dare raise your voice at me."

I open my mouth and then clamp it shut, a demon inside me roaring with anger, straining against its chains of need. But I don't let the demon free.

"Get me more coffee." I turn away and slam the door on my way out, immediately regretting that decision. I will most definitely get yelled at. I make my way to the second floor and fill a cup of coffee for him. Still boiling mad at the man's nerve, I decide to do something I'd usually never dare to even think of.

I spit into his cup.

The man has been using my background to degrade me for too long and the one moment of sweet revenge makes my spirits rise within me. I will and can survive hell for tonight.

I take the stairs back up to stall a little. I knock on the door and after hearing approval to come in, I open the door and set the coffee onto his table. He snarls at me, "Four minutes, Dragneel."

"I'm very sorry, sir."

He glares at me and takes a sip of the coffee and I inwardly do a victory dance. Oh, revenge is sweet!

But suddenly I feel depressed. Why'd you do that? I ask myself. He took you in for a job when no one else would. He can say anything he wants and you shouldn't let it affect you. I scold myself.

You should just suicide.

No, I can't do that! What about mom and dad?

So what about them? This is your life and so far it sucks!

It's not an ending unless it's happy!

Oh, right. Want to tell that to murder and rape victims? I ask myself sardonically. I can almost see the devil and angel on my shoulder, arguing.

I sigh inwardly, wondering how I've ever survived these nights. I can assure you that the doubt always comes back. Everyday since I've started working for Heartfilia Hospital, I've wondered how I survived.

I wait for him to speak to me again but he doesn't. He ignores me until 6:00.

"Sir, I have to leave now. I will be late to school otherwise."

Mr. Heartfilia looks at me and nods and I leave but not before saying, "Thank you, sir."

I head to the bathroom and change into my street clothes. A sleeveless black cloth jacket over a red muscle tee and two pairs of khaki short and my signature scarf. (A/N: You'll see why he wears two shorts in the next chapter ;)

I head out of the bathroom and smile. The city is just waking up, the orange sun rising gloriously from the horizon. My hands find their way into the pockets of my jacket and I start walking the way I came. The walk is cheerful, the few early birds waving at me as I beam and wave back.

Birds sing songs, chorusing together and then breaking into their own songs making the final product leaving me smiling as it bounces around the trees.

Nature whistles in the slight breeze, harmonizing with the singing birds. The clatter of people waking, birds singing, animals waking, and Nature playing her flute has me singing along. Instead of focusing on the small details, when we focus on the big picture, things can be so much more beautiful.

It's time like these that I steal small pockets of happiness, storing something special in my memory forever.

Sorry, I know, boring…well…I just wanted to show you guys what Natsu is really like…at least in this story. I'm not sure if I'm making him a little too OOC but honestly, I don't care since this is an AU ˆ˘ˆ I want to show you guys that he isn't actually the person he seems in school. He isn't cocky or proud or ignorant, he's humble and grateful and notices the little things that make life bright.

Savana, if you're reading this, can you please put a review? Thanks :)

Actually that goes for all of you…can you put a review please? Please? Thanks! °˘°