She finds that she can quite effortlessly muster up enthusiasm. The flower shop does bring her a unique brand of delight. A delight that would have probably made Azula happy as well; it has a simple sort of charm that Azula finds relaxing.
Snapdragon strokes her thumb over the pink-purple petal of a foxglove.
"I brought you some snacks." Mai's lips quirk into a smile as she arranges a few marigolds upon the counter.
Azula truly does hate to admit it, but she didn't exactly hate the taste of marigold stems. And Snapdragon finds them quite delectable. So when Mai turns to fetch the sunflowers, Snapdragon takes a single marigold and pops it into her mouth. She lets it dangle between her lips until Mai turns around and grumbles, "it was a joke, you weren't supposed to eat it again."
She quirks a brow and takes a bite. Mai ruffles her hair and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Neither Snapdragon nor Azula can seem to get used to the affection. She isn't sure which part of her the tummy flutters come from.
She finishes eating the marigold as their first customer walks up.
"Mohi!" Snapdragon grins.
"Are ya eatin flowas again?"
She clears her throat and replies, "no" as Mai says, "yes."
Mohi sighs. "How's the palace been?"
Snapdragon isn't sure how to answer this so Azula does it for her, "insightful." It only occurs to her that this isn't something that Snapdragon would say after she sees the quizzical look on Mohi's face.
"They be teachin' you ta speak like a noble?"
"I picked up on things."
Mohi nods. "Ya jus' watch yaself there. 'N don't ya go 'n let ya fingas wanda, that'll git ya in trouble if ya get caught."
"We already talked about that." Mai assures her. "She's been strictly sticking to things that people don't want anymore...or things that she was told she could touch; she's made herself comfortable in Azula's room."
"Ya watch ya'self. I can't protect ya from that one if ya find trouble there."
A lump forms in her throat. She hadn't considered how Mohi might take to finding out that she'd been caring for a princess she thought ruthless and cruel. Decidedly she has to be more careful around Mohi, lest she lose her too.
.oOo.
Mai clips at and arranges her flowers as Snapdragon and Mohi catch up. She thinks of inviting the woman and her sons to stay at the palace too, but really the palace isn't hers to be extending invitations to.
She supposes that all is well enough, Snapdragon will get the best of both worlds. Tonight she is going home with Mohi. It will be drab without her company in the palace. Though it is probably better if she does go back to her own home for a while; Ami hasn't been taking kindly to her in the slightest.
"The palace is no place for a crude and dirty little cretin." She'd lamented to Mai. "You had no business bringing her here. You don't even have a love for your Fire Lord." She rambles on and on, "or any of the royals, why stay in the palace if you hate the royal family?"
Really, she can't be bothered to answer the woman. She is there because she needs a place to stay, nothing more and nothing less. Once she gets the shop truly up and running she will get a place of her own and never have to deal with upper ring drama again. Truly, it's exhausting. Snapdragon is such a refreshing break.
By noon, she doesn't have much time to dwell upon palace drama; the grand opening of the shop has drawn in a very generous flow of people.
"Can you give me a hand, Snapdragon?"
The woman looks up from her conversation and flashes her a smile and a thumbs up.
"Hold these leaves out of the way while I clip some of the thorns off."
Snapdragon carefully lifts the petals out of the way and watches Mai pune away the thorns. She sets the clippers aside and Snapdragon lets the leaves fall back in place and set the roses on the window sill.
She sits herself upon the now mostly cleared counter. She reaches for Mai's hand and Mai takes it.
Mohi clears her throat. "Behave yaself! I'll be at home waitin' when the ya shift's through."
"M'kay, Mohi." Snapdragon answers. She waits until the woman has left to wrap her arms around Mai's neck and her legs around her waist.
Mai rolls her eyes, "I'm not going to lift you up and carry you if that's what you're hoping for."
Snapdragon shakes her head. Mai is beginning to think that the girl just wants closeness. She pats her back and replies, "we're going to have to do this after work." Though she isn't entirely pleased to have to cut off the woman's cuddles. Her embrace is warm and pleasant. "Here, have a flower instead." She takes one of the marigolds and tucks it behind Snapdragon's ear.
Snapdragon leaps off of the counter. "I can't believe that your aunt was able to afford this." She gestures about the store.
"I had Zuko pull a few more strings." She loathes to admit it.
"He sure helps you out a lot." She looks almost nervous. "He still loves you don't he?"
"Well that's unfortunate for him." Mai shrugs. "Because I found someone else who is much easier to be around."
"Who?"
Mai rolls her eyes. "You, Snapdragon."
Her face flushes. "Oh, yeah. Me." She tilts her head. "I'm easy to be around?"
"You're one of the only people I've met who isn't afraid to express yourself." She wishes that she weren't so afraid herself. "It's refreshing, Snapdragon. It feels authentic. Sometimes I think that you're the only person in the Fire Nation who isn't full of lies, deceptions, and ulterior motives."
.oOo.
Snapdragon thinks about it the whole way home. About lies and deceptions. She doesn't think that she has any ulterior motives. She thinks that she only wants to have an old friend back. She doesn't think that, that is so terrible and yet it feels all wrong.
She pops into the house to call out that she is heading to her factory.
She needs to clear her head.
She knows that the factory will help Snapdragon do so and she knows how to clear Azula's mind.
She is alone in said factory when she tries firebending for the first time in a very long time. It dawns upon her that she likely could have done it this whole time had she not given up so easily after a few failed attempts and some teasing from Zenyul and Kaz.
She lets the fire come to her hands as she has done so many times. It feels right, natural. It curls and laps at the air with fingers of blue and for quite a while Snapdragon only watches it. Mesmerized by that which she created, that which she had grown familiar with and then became a stranger to one more.
She stares at it until the connections are formed in her mind and it becomes an extension of herself once again.
Only then does she take up a stance. This too feels second nature and foreign all the same. She doesn't exactly recall each and every step in the kata but they come to her as she moves her way through it.
She doesn't have to think too much.
She doesn't have to think at all.
And she is bending.
Bending as she always had in her life before this one.
"Snapdragon?"
She goes completely tense. "Kaz, what are you doing here?"
"It's gettin' late 'n Mohi sent me to git you." He pauses. "Snapdragon were you…"
She can't deny it, he had seen it very clearly. Even Azula can't lie her way out of this one.
"Your fire is…" he sputters. "It's blue."
She bites the inside of her cheek. She could accuse him of imagining strange colors where there was only orange. She could accent the accusation by bringing orange fire to her palms. "I just learned to do it."
"Sure didn't look like it. It looks like you been doin' it fer ages."
She could tell him that Zenyul has been teaching her but she can't remember the last time that the brothers were apart. She tries to speak but she finds herself at a loss for what to say. The truth is as unbelievable as the lies-perhaps more so even. So she only manages a soft, "don't tell Mohi."
She doesn't think that he is listening. "Blue. Fire."
She swallows.
"Blue. Fire! Snapdragon, you know who else has blue fire!?"
She knows very well. She knows that there is no 'who else', that there is only one person. She just hopes that Kaz won't arrive at the same conclusion. She doesn't get to hope for long at all. He stares at with wonder and curiosity. With delight and with hesitance.
She doesn't expect him to reach out and touch the small scars on her cheek. Doesn't expect him to run his fingers through her hair, "how'd you do it?"
"How'd I do what?"
He gestures to her face. "I heard rumors that Lady Ursa was able to change her face…"
Her blood runs colder than she thought possible for a firebender. "Kaz…"
"They's lookin' for you at the palace 'n you've been there the whole time?"
Perhaps partially so, she had been. "Kaz, I don't want to go back."
His brows furrow. "Then why's you been goin' back?"
She doesn't want to go back as Azula. Snapdragon decides that she doesn't want to be Azula again. Not yet. Snapdragon is happy. Snapdragon is carefree and fun. Azula is not. "Because Mai is there." But she likes it here. Absently, she takes a step back and leans against the cool metal siding of the building, "I like my factory too." He wouldn't take that away from her would he?
But, Agni, the bounty reward could buy he and his family a place in the cheaper end of the upper ring.
"Kaz, don't take me back there." She doesn't want to hurt him. She can't hurt him. She realizes that she is going to lose her family either way; if she lets him run off and tell them who she is Zuzu will come to collect her, Mohi will resent her. If she causes him any sort of harm, Mohi will hate her tenfold.
She takes a deep breath, she will let him run. It occurs to her that they wouldn't believe him anyways. Snapdragon hasn't ignited a even a spark, she only has to play ignorant. And it isn't as though he can simply pry a mask off or wipe away layers of makeup; Snapdragon's face is her own.
She doesn't have to tell him that no one will believe him. She thinks that he knows. Somehow she thinks that she is being cruel.
"Why would you wanna stay here in this slobby slumtown?" He inquires. She doesn't think that he wants an answer for he continues, "it isn't fair; you can leave at any time and you choose to stay here. And I'd like nothing more than to get out of this dump and go somewhere that mama deserves! But I don't have a choice! We're stuck in this trash heap 'cause of you." He pauses, breathing heavily. "Mama said not to say it because she didn't want you to blame yerself, but it's true! We was well off 'for we took you in." And in one last burst he adds, "'n you ain't even need it!"
But she did need it.
She does need it.
She may not need a place to stay, but she needs people to love. The hatred in his eyes only reaffirms what she knows to be true; that she has to be more careful. That Azula can't come back. "Please don't hate me, Kaz."