When the pair returned home, Mina headed straight for the bathroom to shower the grime away from the past two days of activity. She emerged feeling refreshed, though exhaustion still filled her body. She changed into her sleeping clothes and went into the main room in search of her husband. Finding him sitting in his chair by the fire he had built while she was in the shower, she walked over, bending to wrap her arms around him from behind.
"Do you feel better?" he asked. "I'm sure you're glad to be home and out of clothes you've worn for two days."
"It's good to be home," Mina agreed, "I've missed it."
Kolya raised his hand to touch her arm, caressing it softly.
"It has missed you too," he said quietly, "as have I."
Mina smiled and shifted her head to place a kiss on his cheek. As she moved, she felt him shift slightly. It was a small movement, but it felt as if he had moved away from her. Mina brushed away the feeling, thinking that she must have been imagining things.
"You should go to bed," Kolya said, standing from his chair and breaking her embrace. "You've had an eventful few days."
Mina felt the feeling in her stomach again, like he was trying to put distance between them. Her smile faltered slightly, but she quickly regained her composure, nodding in agreement. She walked in the direction of the bedroom, brushing his arm as she walked past with her hand.
"Goodnight Acastus."
The following few days, Mina watched her husband closely. Every night, they followed the same routine of her retiring before him. He also woke before her, leaving her alone both in the evening and the morning. Nothing intimate had occurred since her return, which normally wouldn't have surprised Mina. At the same time she would have thought with their recent separation and his insistence that she return would have meant something. Other than a simple peck on the cheek as goodbye, he barely touched her.
Mina wasn't sure what to do with the feelings creeping up inside her. He had seemed so eager for her to be back in his life. The passion of their initial reunion seemed to have disappeared and she felt as if she had gone backwards in time. His reluctance to even touch her hurt her, even though she tried to not to dwell on it too much. Wanting to know what was going on, she made the decision to talk to Acastus that night. She couldn't fix things if he didn't tell her what was going on.
When she returned home from her day of training, Mina was disappointed to find her house empty. After changing out of her training clothes, she made herself busy cleaning, trying to ease her nerves. In her anxious busyness, she didn't notice when her husband returned home.
"Mina? What are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm keeping myself busy, trying to keep myself from thinking about things that I would rather not."
Kolya crossed the room and rested his hand on her shoulder, the first touch that he had initiated since the day of the wraith attack.
"What are you talking about? Has something happened?"
Mina pulled away from his touch and turned to look at him. He seemed to notice she had retracted from his touch and she saw something akin to regret cross his face. The pain that had been gnawing away at her for the past few days flared to full capacity.
"Nothing has happened, that's exactly it. My own husband barely touches me."
Kolya sighed and shook his head.
"Mina, I thought we were past this."
"As did I!" Mina retorted. "But for someone that wanted me back here so much, you don't seem to want me here."
Mina dropped the broom she had been holding and threw her hands up in defeat.
"I understand that things still need fixing, but I had thought that you'd had forgiven me for my transgressions. If you haven't, please tell me so I don't build up false hope."
Mina could hear the words spilling out of her mouth, like she had let loose a stream of emotion. She searched her husband's face, desperately looking for a reaction. What she saw was a broken man. His expression alone forced her to take a step back from the situation and think that maybe she had read everything wrong. The possibility that she had screwed things up more brought more emotion spilling out of her, tears beginning to fall as she spoke.
"Acastus please, if I have messed things up so badly that you cannot forgive me, I need to know…"
Mina's words were stopped when Kolya surged forward, taking her face in his hands.
"Mina, please stop," he said, "it's not you that I can't forgive, it's myself."
"What? Acastus, what are you talking about?"
Kolya released Mina's face and moved away from her, beginning to pace back and forth before her.
"You were supposed to have a good life, that's what was promised to you when you married me. Instead of that, I have only given you pain."
Mina began to regret her previous words, worried that they had sent her husband into a guilt-filled melt-down.
"Acastus, it's not like that at all…"
He held up his hand to stop her from speaking.
"Please let me speak. Since I met you, I have been amazed by your incredible selflessness. First, you married me to help your family, sacrificing your own happiness."
Mina wanted to interject that she was happy that she had married him, but he had asked her to remain silent until he had finished, so she held her tongue.
"You became a medic to help people, and then moved into your current position to help even more. Especially to help me. I have made too many mistakes and they have harmed not only me, but you as well. You took it upon yourself to try and fix what I broke and how did I repay you? I belittled you, I humiliated you, I hurt you."
Mina couldn't take his self-loathing anymore. Stepping forward, she grabbed his hand to stop his pacing.
"Acastus, look at me. I left because I felt that I had to. I lied to you, which I regret immensely. Even if I was trying to help you, I should have been honest with you from the start. I was so afraid…"
"You were afraid that I would lash out," he interrupted, "and I did, so your fears were justified."
Mina released his hand and took his face in her hands like he had done to her before.
"No. I was afraid that if I didn't do something, I would lose you."
Kolya seemed surprised by her revelation. His frantic expression softened and Mina could see something in his eyes that she couldn't quite identify.
"We both said things in anger that we didn't mean. I thought it was just you with a temper, but it seems we are both guilty of being hot-headed. I guess we are a good match that way."
Mina's heart warmed when she saw her favorite smirk appear on his face.
"I guess we are," he said.
"Now that we have that settled, will you please explain to me why you have been acting afraid to touch me the past few days?"
Kolya closed the gap between them, wrapping his arms around Mina's waist and pulling her close.
"I've wanted to take you in my arms every time you were near me, but I've been too distracted by my own guilt."
Mina sighed, sinking into his embrace.
"Please stop being so consumed with guilt and just let me have my husband back."
Kolya pulled back slightly from the embrace, smiling down at Mina.
"Gladly," he said before leaning down to kiss her.
Early the following morning, Kolya woke with his wife in his arms for the first time in quite a while. It was a feeling that he had missed greatly. He lifted his hand to lightly stroke her hair as she slept with her head on his chest. He hadn't really admitted it to himself until the night before, but he was sure of his feelings now. He loved his wife. He had for quite some time, he just hadn't known it. If it hadn't been brought to his attention that maybe she loved him too, he would have continued to be ignorant of his own feelings. He only wished he had come to the conclusion on his own rather than having it brought to the foreground by others scolding him for his behavior. The thought of people scolding him brought back the memory of what had happened the day after the wraith attack.
A few days earlier…
Kolya walked down the hallway, making his way back to his office when he was stopped by someone calling his name.
"Commander Kolya, may I speak with you?" Caleb called out, running slightly to catch up to him.
Kolya turned to face the younger man, waiting for him to catch up. He gestured down the hall in the direction he had been heading.
"Of course Caleb, you can accompany me to my office."
The two men walked in silence until they reached their destination. Caleb followed Kolya into the room, closing the door behind him and standing before the desk as Kolya sat in his chair.
"Now. What did you wish to speak to me about?" Kolya asked.
Caleb held his chin up high, as if he was trying to maintain his courage. He cleared his throat before he began to speak.
"I wish to elaborate on our conversation from the celebration. About my sister's happiness."
Kolya sighed. He leaned forward, folding his hands together on the surface of his desk.
"I got your message loud and clear Caleb. You want your sister to be happy, same as I."
"Your actions of late have had the opposite effect Commander. You may have patched things up with her now, but how much longer before you upset her again? The happiness of my sisters is very important to me, and I will do what I have to to ensure it."
Kolya scoffed at Caleb's statement.
"If that were true, why did you marry Mina off to elevate yourself?
He could see that he had struck a nerve with that question. Caleb visibly flinched at his accusation, but was quick to regain his composure.
"I made the arrangement to help her, not myself. When I brought it before Cowen, I thought he would choose someone like Ladon or Mekhai. Not you."
Kolya smirked at the echo of his own words. He had also suggested those two alternatives when Cowen approached him.
"As much as I disliked his choice," Caleb continued, "Mina seems to have adapted quite well. That being said, I don't know if she can be truly happy. I mean no disrespect Commander, but twice now, my sister has returned home with a broken heart because of you. I meant what I said the other night. If it happens again, you won't have a chance to fix it."
Kolya was amused by Caleb's threat, but he knew that he meant it.
"I do outrank you Caleb, which you would do well to remember."
Caleb seemed to understand this, but Kolya got the feeling that he simply did not care.
"I respect you Commander, despite my personal feelings towards you. You mean a lot to my sister, which means you must have some good qualities as she doesn't give her heart away easily. You have the power to break her in your hands, so I hope you use it wisely."
With that final statement, Caleb turned and left the office, leaving Kolya alone.
As Kolya pondered over the things Caleb had said to him, he gazed down at his sleeping wife. He knew she was strong, but according to Caleb, he had the power to break her. That was the last thing he wanted to do, which was why he had been so guilt-ridden the past few days. As much as he hated to admit it, Caleb's words had affected him. Much like his brother-in-law, he wanted to protect Mina from not only physical harm, but emotional harm as well. She wouldn't appreciate being compared to a fragile doll, but he knew there were many things in the galaxy that would harm her.
Just a few days ago, she had been nearly been hurt by the wraith and he had been powerless to protect her. In fact, he had neglected her safety for his own, if only for a brief period of time. It had almost been enough to lose her. He vowed to himself that he would do what he could to protect her from now on, even if it led to his own demise.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review and let me know what you think!