Hey guys! I know this chapter is kinda late but here is some more! I wanted to write a chapter that gave a little more insight to Sasuke's mind about confessing to Naruto before jumping right into the actual act. Sooooooo I hope y'all enjoy, I'll write the next chapter soon and we'll get to the juicier confessing parts ;) Okay, song time! The songs I listened to when writing was Bloom by Paper Kites, So Sad, So Sad by VARSITY, Sorry by Halsey, and Where's My Love (Acoustic) by SYML. I hope y'all enjoying reading! ^^
Sasuke opens his eyes but just barely at the blaring sunlight shining through his windows into his room from where he forgot to shut the curtains, his body just a little uncomfortable from the heat under his blankets, he takes a deep breath, sighing as his kicks out one of his legs into the cooler room.
He yawns before looking towards the clock, it reads 8:14 am.
Today is Graduation Day, and it begins at ten this morning.
So Sasuke has a little bit of time to chill around the house.
Today is not only Graduation Day, it's also the day where Sasuke tells Naruto he loves him. Sasuke can feel butterflies and nervousness crawling its way into his stomach, he feels worry and dread but also excitement, which he curses.
Why did he have to like him to begin with, what's really so great about love or relationships?
You can't even function right, they'll be stuck in your head all day; you'll sit and imagine all the different things you can do with each other; camping, telling jokes, sharing secrets, deep conversations, a shared love in general for each other's company. You can never get anything done, you get butterflies just hearing their name or if your phone goes off with a message from them. And, the sadness and jealously you feel when they talk or look and think about someone else, it can be unbearable and overall; crazy.
Who says falling in love or liking someone is great?
Maybe it can be, if you both like each other because you'll share that love and connection, and everything can end up being and feeling so much more alive and amazing.
But what if that person, never loves you back; then you sit and cry, and wallow, and hurt.
So is it even worth it?
Sasuke huffs, even though he is trying not to think of Naruto, sometimes he really can't help it, especially when he is alone, his mind tends to drift back to the person he loves because his heart can't help it, because he is in love.
How will Naruto even react? Sasuke feels a pain in his heart as he thinks about what reaction he'll come face to face with.
Because even though he kinda lost his friend, this right here just may cut the final string all together, it might make it permanent and telling him won't bring him back but Sasuke doesn't wanna go throughout his life knowing he was too scared to admit his feelings for someone, liking someone is not a reason to be embarrased or scared, it's natural and it's a compliment in Sasuke's opinion.
But bringing him back is not the point in telling him, the real point is to let go. Naruto is gone, but Sasuke hasn't managed to let go of him, so he'll tell him his feelings, get everything out in the open, so he can move on and stop loving him.
To abandon hope.
If he doesn't tell him, he'll never really know what Naruto thinks and feels about it, and then afterwards, he can move forward having hope for the new future.
He wants to give up hope, if he can.
Love is powerful and once it sets its hooks in you, pulling them out can be demanding and agonizing, but it needs to be done sometimes, just so you don't go crazy.
Sasuke's goal is to finally live free, without the weight of unrequited love.
Hope can be dangerous.
Hope can be agonizing.
Hope can be tedious.
Hope is powerful.
But, at the same time, hope can save your life.
When is the right time to have hope? When is the right time to give up hope?
Making that distinction is really the biggest question, and it's a hard question to answer.
But sometimes you just know.
That's why today, Sasuke will tell Naruto and then he'll move on, even if he has to swim through his own tears, as Alice in Wonderland had to do but she made it through that locked door.
Sasuke gets up, basically dragging himself to the shower, wanting to look as decent as a broken-hearted man can for his Graduation.
He stares in the mirror, wondering when he'll finally grow up and become the man he wants to be.
He rubs his face tiredly before turning to the shower.
He pulls off his pajamas and hops in for a hot shower, hoping to calm at least some of his nerves and tense muscles.
He stands there for a few moments, letting the water wash away all his worry, his doubt, his life, he allows his mind to go blank as he listens to the water, feeling it rush over his body before he has to come back to reality.
Will this possibly be the last time he sees Naruto? Will they stop being friends for good and go their separate ways to college? Is this what will happen?
Sasuke shakes his head, cursing his brain for continuing to think about him.
He sighs, annoyed at himself now as he begins washing up with a scowl on his face.
After his shower he steps out and walks back to his room in the nude before pulling on a red t-shirt and some loose dark blue jeans, he then walks down to the kitchen for a light breakfast, grabbing an apple.
He leans against the counter, taking big bites out of the red, juicy apple.
He kinda feels a little relieved, knowing he is confessing and also graduating and ridding himself of such burdens and emotions.
Sasuke feels like today will be okay, even if he loses Naruto forever, it will still all be okay.
He throws the core away and goes back up to his room, grabbing his keys, mp3, headphones, phone, and shoes before waking out the door, heading to his school.
It'll take some time to get there, and his nerves are still a little haywire so Sasuke decides to play some music.
He digs in his pocket for his mp3 and his headphones.
Putting in his headphones, he begins searching for a song.
He picks Bloom by The Paper Kites.
The soft guitars begin to course through his ears before the gentle words come swooping in.
"In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you."
Sasuke moves his head to the beat as he walks in the direction of the school.
"Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can't get out."
He takes a deep breath.
"Can I be close to you?
Ooh-oo-oo-ooh, ooh.
Can I be close to you?
Ooh, ooh."
Sasuke stuffs his hands in this pockets, looking around his neighborhood, the one he won't see for a while when he starts college, he smiles sadly, missing it already but excited for new adventures.
"Can I take it to a morning
Where the fields are painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?"
Sasuke laughs, today his feeling will be known, he wants that so much.
"When the evening pulls the sun down,
And the day is almost through,
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,
But my world is you.
Sasuke takes big steps, jumpy lazily down the sidewalk, his hands still stuffed into his pockets.
"Can I be close to you?
(Ah) ooh (aah), ooh (aah).
Can I be close to you?
(Ah) ooh (aah), ooh (aah)."
Sasuke thinks of Naruto's beautiful face, a twinge of pain and love shoot through his heart. Will today really be okay? Sasuke wants nothing more than to believe that, but he can't help but wonder too if he might regret today forever.
What will happen to him, to Naruto, when they both go to college? What is Naruto going to do with Kirie? What does the future hold for the both of them? Will everything just be all spick-and-span?
Today may be a great(ish) day or a terrible day, no in between.
Sasuke sighs, wanting the day to just hurry up and be over.
"Can I be close to you?
(Ah) ooh (aah), ooh (aah).
Can I be close to you?
(Ah) ooh (aah), ooh (aah)."
The song is coming close to its end, just like how Sasuke wants the day to go.
Will Naruto and Sasuke ever be close again? Be friends? Or, even more than friends?
Sasuke is worried about the future, not just for himself but also for his big brother as well as for Naruto.
He thinks about Naruto again, a small smile sneaks up onto his face, they've been best friends for years, they've experienced so much together, and they've loved and hated and fought and hugged and it's just all coming to an end.
It's not even about lovers anymore, but friendship, Sasuke isn't just losing his first and only love, but his best friend, the one who stuck by him and helped him, the one who is supposed to always stick by and help you.
But today, he just may lose his best friend.
He just may lose Naruto.
The final lyrics play out and Sasuke asks the same question.
"Can I be close to you?(Can I be close to you?)
Ooh, ooh."
I hope y'all liked it! Please review and tell me what you think! Good or bad! I know it's kinda short but I hope you can enjoy anyway! More will be coming soon! Thanks to everyone who reads and to those who also review! ^^