2.

Ienzo thought often about sleep. Most of his days were preoccupied with sleep, and hearts, and trying to remember what he had studied years ago. In the intervening years in the Organization, he had cared less about hearts and more about Kingdom Hearts.

Hearts. Sleep. Old men passive-aggressively jabbing at each other.

His hands were on the keyboard, and he saw code slowly and steadily ticking in. Code he should subsequently be de coding. But he… felt…

Ansem's hand on his shoulder startled him, making him gasp aloud like a startled animal. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Ienzo shook the fuzz out of his eyes, his heart still pounding in his chest, adrenaline making him shaky. All of these human reactions were so sensorily intense . "It's… it's alright. I was the one far away."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine." He stood, feeling woozy. "I'm…" He pressed two fingers to his brow, trying to hide the dizziness.

"How long have you been here?" Ansem asked softly.

Ienzo blinked, and realized, "I don't know."

"Why don't you go get some rest?"

"I don't need rest, I need to keep working through this." He scowled. "It doesn't help that my memory of coding is hazy at best-"

"Then why don't you let me help you? I can give you a refresher on the basics." He smiled kindly, and Ienzo felt an unexpected stab of memory-sitting as a small child on Ansem's lap as he taught him the very basics of HTML, his eyes gleaming with pride at Ienzo's first project (a page that simply said "HELLO!").

But then, equally… his eyes flicked over to the closed door to the lab, the one he'd begged Ansem to finalize. And he was reminded for the millionth time that this was his fault.

"Would that help?" Ansem prompted.

He shook his head to dismiss the memories. "Yes. Yes, that would be prudent."

"When was the last time you slept?" Ansem asked.

"I'm fine."

He frowned.

"Really. I'm fine."

There was a pause. Ansem knotted his hands together. "Naminé once told me that Nobodies do not need sleep. Is that true?"

Ienzo's eyebrows shot up. Ansem hadn't brought up the reality of their pasts-namely, the ten years he and Even had been Nobodies. "Yes, it's true," he said. "One physiologically can , of course, but it is not necessary to live."

Ansem pursed his lips. "Does it feel… odd, to return to those needs, then?"

Ienzo considered, woozily. "Yes, it does," he admitted. "I feel like I'm losing a lot of time from my day."

He opened his mouth, closed it, then finally said, "do you like being human again?"

"Well, I had no say in the matter," he said, "but it is… better than being the monster I was. I…" He rested his hand on his chest, feeling the pound of his heart. "I like having choice."

Ansem smiled. "I'm sure you must."

Ienzo exhaled. "I've done a great many awful things," he said. "I wasn't… a passive captive. Were it not for Saїx's machinations, I likely would've been second in command. I… cared for their goals. I wanted it."

Ansem cocked his head. "To be whole?"

"I don't think so." Ienzo squinted, trying to remember how it had felt to be Zexion. "In pursuit of… knowledge. Of growth of the Organization. I'm… I'm sorry." Guilt hardened into a sour seed in his stomach, making him nauseous. "I'm so sorry."

Ansem digested this, his eyes going somewhere distant and sad. "It says a lot about who you truly are, that the moment you were whole again, you chose the path of light," he said gently.

"It does not feel that way."

"I'm sure," he said. "But we've all done things we regret. There's no changing the past, as paltry as that sounds. Helping Kairi, and ergo, Sora and Riku… is a good first step."

"I'm not sure it will ever be enough."

"You can't help how you grew up," Ansem said. "In darkness, in nothing, manipulated, I'm sure, by them. You were just a boy. You said so yourself. How old were you, Ienzo?"

"Just shy of nine," he said, not wanting to make eye contact.

"Precisely. A brilliant child… but still a child."

"But what of-when I grew older? When I should have known better?"

Ansem squeezed his shoulder a second time. "By then you already believed."

"I'm not innocent. I… the things I've done…" He exhaled. "I cannot simply absolve myself of guilt. I… I don't want to."

"I do hope that someday you can forgive yourself," Ansem said. "You're too young to live with such a heavy heart."

"I think it is earned," Ienzo said.

Ansem sighed.

"I'm going to go try to sleep for a few hours," he said. "I'm sorry to leave this all in your lap."

"It's quite alright. I don't mind."

Ienzo wasn't sure what else to say, so he started walking back to his room. He thought about what Ansem had said. His heart did feel heavy-quite literally. But how could he just… move on and have a normal life after everything he'd done? He didn't know of anyone who'd messed up as colossally as he had. Wouldn't it be wrong ? Masturbatory, so to speak? Where was his karmic payback? Why had he gotten this wholeness so many craved so dearly? He didn't even want -

There had to be some way to silence the noise in his head.

Ienzo took a quick shower, put on some pajamas, and climbed into bed. His bedroom felt more cluttered and cramped than he remembered, the window by his double bed drafty. The overburdened bookcase was packed two and three deep, the rolltop desk flooded with yet more papers. He should clean and organize, remove the very last of his childhood things; there was still kid's clothing in some of his dresser's drawers.

His mind was swimming hopelessly with memories of the Organization's plans to take down worlds-

Somehow, Ienzo fell into a restless sleep.

He recognized this dream, this nightmare. The tight, dark corners of the basement of Castle Oblivion. A redheaded demon, a boy in a black-and purple jumpsuit. A sharp glove at his throat, the tight heat of darkness swallowing him, and he couldn't breathe couldn't breathe-

Ienzo sat up. Slowly. He touched the scar at the base of his throat, thick and ridged. It was the darkness, not the replica's sharp gloves, that had left this mark on him. Tears burned his eyes. He felt pathetic, weak, for being in the grip of this memory. It was over with. It was the least of what he'd deserved.

Human.

He thought of the dizzy spin of those first few moments after he'd woken, on the cold lab floor, bleeding from the marks around his throat. How the swelling had made it feel like he couldn't breathe, still, how everything felt like it was echoing loudly around him, his heart like a weight in his chest. Trying to push himself up, seeing Even and Dilan's brutalized forms, Aeleus trying not to show how much pain he, too, was in. Being the least injured, it had been up to Ienzo to try and tend to their wounds. At least he'd had the foresight to study medicine in the Organization.

And truthfully, even though it had been nearly two months back in this body, with this heart, Ienzo… still was not used to humanity, the pulse and pound of unexpected emotions. Once he couldn't get open a jar of peanut butter for his breakfast toast and the anger he felt when he struggled was so overwhelming he'd just thrown the damn thing. But more than anything he felt a guilt so thick it was like lead, and an anxiety he could never fully set this right.

He looked at the clock. He'd slept about five hours, which he supposed after that nightmare was all he'd get. He was feeling nauseous and achy again, shaky with low blood sugar. So much time I must spend doing maintenance on this body. It seemed almost like a waste.

But he needed to stay alive. To help, to atone.

Ienzo got up and went to the kitchen.

Riku couldn't take the silence anymore. It was almost making him jumpy, and after so long without human interaction, he thought he was starting to hear sounds that weren't there. The dizzy nightmares of that city didn't help. He wondered if he should tell Ienzo and the others about it; but every time he tried to remember fine details, all he could recall was the deep blue color of the sky. Not helpful.

If not for the gummiphone, Riku would've lost track of time, too. Ienzo had told him how to use it, but he still struggled a bit with the interface. But, he figured, if Sora , who had nearly failed their high school computer literacy course, could grasp it, so could he.

Sora.

Riku felt something like a stab of pain. It felt like it had been a long time since he'd seen him, since they'd gotten to do more than chat for a few minutes. Kairi, too, he'd barely gotten to speak with at the beach during their brief victory party. At least he knew she was-physically-okay.

He felt so… alone.

He took a deep breath in and let it out, slowly. I'm not alone, he forced himself to think. Even if it feels that way. Our hearts are connected.

That didn't make the silence any less piercing.

Riku got up. He had to go get some laundry, make himself something to eat. At least this was something he could do.

He wondered if it were too soon to go back to Radiant Garden. He knew Ienzo said he'd call the moment something came up, but maybe Cid had something new, or maybe there were even some Heartless to fight. Something. Someone.

"Oh god, I'm losing my mind," he said out loud. He took out the gummiphone and looked down at its screen. It was still set to the generic background it came with, mostly because he didn't know how to change it. With clumsy thumbs, he opened the text messaging app and started to write. The keyboard felt awkward in his hands.

Mickey,

I hope your journey with Donald and Goofy is going well. I'm guessing it must be good to spend time with them again. How's the Queen?

I've been staying in the Land of Departure. Terra asked me to, but I think it's partially because he wanted me to feel like I had an official duty as a Keyblade master. Mostly it's just housesitting. If you ever have time, you three should come by. It's a lot prettier than Castle Oblivion. It feels more alive.

The Radiant Garden guys are still hard at work studying Kairi's heart, so she's been asleep. They warned me it might take a long time. I still wish there was something I could do, but the power of waking won't help in this case. So they say, anyway. I don't really understand it fully myself.

If there's anything I can do to make your journey any easier, let me know. Take care of yourselves out there.

-Riku

This written, it didn't make Riku feel any less alone. More like he was speaking out into nowhere. He went and finished his chores, worked out for a little while. When he came back there was a response.

Howdy Riku!

Great to hear from ya! The Queen and Daisy are both doing great. We actually got to talk to them last night-love these nifty gadgets! If only we'd had them years ago… can you thank Ienzo for them the next time you see him? Chip and Dale also say hello to you both.

So far we're doing our best to find more information about Sora, but so far there are no leads that I can tell, anyway, and you know how sharp Goofy is looking for these things. This all got so complicated… but I have hope that we'll all be together soon!

I hope you're not getting too stir crazy up in there. If you like, the Queen says you're welcome to visit any time. And if we're in the area I'm sure we'll drop by! I hope staying there isn't too hard on you.

Thanks for writing! Speak soon.

-Mickey.

Riku exhaled. He was positive he was reading too much into the tone of the letter. Mickey was never condescending towards him. Every word he'd written, he'd meant.

Maybe Riku should get out of here. He could thank Ienzo, for one thing, maybe help with some Heartless there, or the restoration committee was always working on some project or another. Get his hands dirty, like the work he used to do on the play island-

He was used to the accompanying stab of pain he got when he thought of them, but it didn't make it any easier. Yes. Riku very much needed to get out of here.

It was raining in Radiant Garden when Riku got in. It washed away the rest of the gel in his hair, making it fall hopelessly into his eyes, and he kept trying to blow it out of his face. The haircut had been a spur-of-the-moment decision, something to get rid of that old self, but this current in-between length was unbearable. He didn't want to think about spikes or spiky hair. (The fact that he'd run out of hair gel was also besides the point.) He wandered the streets for a time. Just seeing other people was nice, made him remember he was real.

The slope up to the entrance of the castle was muddy in the deluge. At least I'll have an excuse to do laundry when I get back, he thought. One of the guards-he didn't remember their names yet, and decided he really should-waved him in. "Try not to track mud all over the place," he said, rolling his eyes.

Riku washed off his shoes with a water spell and kept walking. The place was always dank and damp in the best of circumstances, but today it was downright cold. He shivered and wished he knew air magic, something to dry himself off. Oh well. He'd had worse recently than being a little cold and wet.

The path up to the lab was very much familiar now. He saw places where the people here were trying to repair all the structural issues; the moldy carpeting torn up, the fallen pipes cleared away. The circular office before the lab had been cleaned up too; the bits of broken glass were finally gone.

Riku saw them before they saw him. He observed them for a few minutes, in their long white coats and oddly formal scarves. He tried not to audibly shiver, his hair sending droplets onto the floor.

"All looks… very much ordinary , from what we've been able to decipher," the one formerly known as Vexen was saying. "Would help if I could understand your shorthand."

Riku saw a scowl cross Ienzo's face, the first mean expression he'd seen on the young man since they'd met again. He thought of Zexion, all claws and cruelness and teeth. "My shorthand is up-to-date. It's not my fault your knowledge of coding has fallen by the wayside."

"Boy, I have more important things to do-"

"Like what? Is this not our priority?"

" She is our priority. Keeping up with some language is not."

"Your sniping does not help either," Ansem the Wise added. He went over to the console computer, punched some things in, and shook his head. "Though I agree with Ienzo that we should all at the very least be on the same page."

Ienzo's smirk became a hesitant smile.

Then, "I think we can all use a crash course."

The smile became a scowl again. Riku chuckled despite himself. So the politeness was partially an act. Good to know. He crossed over into the hallway, letting his footsteps make more noise than earlier. Their heads snapped up; Even seemed to struggle to get his expression to be neutral, while Ansem offered a kindly smile. Ienzo's face simply went blank, and Riku felt an odd surge of jealousy for his control over his emotion. "Oh, hello, Riku. We weren't expecting you," he said.

"I'm sorry just to drop by like this," he said, feeling a blush color his face. "But I was wondering if-" Seeing their faces fall just slightly, "there's… no news, is there?"

Ienzo took a few steps closer to him. He always seemed to be a little… cautious, in the way he moved around Riku. Could this really be about the bad blood in their past? "I'm very sorry, but no. No significant change."

He glanced over towards Kairi, still fast asleep in the chair. He noted that at least they'd given her a blanket. "How's she doing?"

"She's being kept very comfortable, I assure you," Ienzo said. "Neurological functioning is the way it should be."

He crossed his arms, trying to suppress the shivering; it was even colder in here. "Could I… can I go up to her? It won't interrupt anything, will it?"

Ienzo shook his head. "She's too deeply asleep to be disturbed by our voices. Though perhaps-" Looking him over and wrinkling his nose. "You might like a towel?"

Riku looked at his palms. His wrist braces were awkwardly wet, and he knew they'd take hours to dry out. "Sorry. It's, uh, raining."

He nodded. "Come with me."

He followed Ienzo. He was only the slightest bit taller than Riku now, but his strides seemed long, quick and precise, the white coat flaring out. "If you'd like, I can get you something dry to wear," he said. "We're probably about the same size."

The idea of dry clothes was appealing, but the idea of wearing something of Ienzo's made him feel, well, pretty weird. "No, that's okay, thanks," he said. "I'm probably gonna head out before too long anyway."

"I imagine you must be quite busy." Ienzo opened a door to a very average linen closet and pulled out a white towel. Riku did feel much better with it around his shoulders.

He just shrugged in response. They started walking back.

"If you're worried about her health, she's in quite good hands," Ienzo said. "I… understand why you might be hesitant."

"It's… not that." Not entirely. "I just…"

"Worry about your friends?" Ienzo prompted. "I can imagine. Yes, it's been… a rather tectonic year or so."

"We've all been separated on and off since our world fell," he said, feeling a stab of guilt. "Though that was… kind of my fault. Not kind of. It was ."

Ienzo's eyebrows shot up. "Is that so?"

"I know, I know. Some hero, right?" he forced himself to laugh.

"I… know that feeling exactly." Ienzo cleared his throat. "Were it not for all we've done here… well." He sighed. "We cannot… change the past. Not without a lot of nonsense."

Riku smiled a little despite the heaviness of the conversation. "It almost feels… fake, how all this happened. When I heard about the… vessels, and the time travel, I was just like… are you kidding me? "

Ienzo chuckled. "I think we all had that reaction. Even I cannot comprehend what exactly he was planning to do-and I was part of some of it."

Riku thought about that laugh for a moment, how different it sounded than Zexion's. More human, softer. Then again, the boy next to him was human. Trying to be better. Aren't we all, he thought, wryly.

Back in the lab, he crossed over to Kairi and took her hand, hoping his wasn't too cold. Her breathing was deep and even, and she looked peaceful. He wondered if she actually felt that way, what the "examination" made her feel. He almost asked, but Ansem and Even seemed to be deep into some conversation he couldn't understand, and Ienzo seemed distracted, his brows furrowed. "So, uh," he began slowly. "How's the Heartless population around here?"

He looked up, startled. "The claymore defense system manages it quite well," he said, with a touch of defensiveness. "Though I guess there might be a few hanging around the edges of town."

"Gotcha," he said. "Well. I'm going to go check in with the committee. But before I go. Um. The King said thank you for the gummiphone. And that Chip and Dale said hello."

"Of course," he said, his expression again quite neutral. "That was kind of them."

Riku took off his damp towel and folded it. He left the castle and went back out into the rain. If anything, the deluge had gotten heavier, to the point where his left wrist (which had never quite healed correctly) was throbbing. Ienzo had been right about the Heartless; the few ones in the center of town were easily dispatched without him even having to draw his Keyblade. Riku found himself scowling. Logically, he knew that the system was fantastic for the civilians here. But it took from him the only thing he could do to be of use. As it grew darker, he wandered farther and farther into the fissures surrounding town, where he finally found something worth fighting.

He tried to vent his frustration into these Heartless, especially at his own uselessness. He was a Keyblade master , and all he could do was beat up a few mooks, was wait around for things to happen. He hated feeling like this; it was so like the old days on the island. At least this time he wouldn't do something so off-the-walls stupid like let a creep in a robe persuade him to do what they wanted.

No, instead he was fighting Heartless. Alone. In the rain.

By the time he'd fought the last one in the vicinity, it was dark, and he could no longer suppress the shaking. "Idiot," he said out loud. The clothes might protect him from darkness, but they wouldn't protect him from the common cold. He should go back to the Land of Departure, take a hot bath, make himself some soup, and go to bed.

Riku went deeper into the fissures.