Day 2895

Season Nine: Episode Five

(What Comes After)

Rick gasped for breath as he was flung backwards from the explosion that the dynamite had released, tossed backwards like a toy a child no longer wanted. His breath rasped as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. Every breath felt like a burning hot rod was stabbing him through his chest and side. His hands lightly shook, as his right hand pressed into the wound from the rebar he had fallen upon earlier in the day. His blood was a steady stream as it oozed out of the gaping wound. His other hand loosely held onto his Colt Python. It had been with him since the beginning of this hell.

"Rick!"

There was a familiar voice calling out his name. He could recognize that voice from anywhere. "Daryl..." he mouthed the words, his tongue heavy and dry in his mouth. His eyesight unfocused and blurred as he attempted to look around at his surroundings in a daze. The sound of the horde of Walkers was a distant concern, now that the bridge was destroyed and burning from the dynamite.

His ears still rang from the deafening explosion. His senses were coming in and out of focus with each slow hoarse breath he inhaled and exhaled. It felt a lot like how his consciousness had been on the way to the bridge. He realized now, that his apparitions had been merely hallucinations. It had been his mind attempting to keep him moving, to get him to the bridge and his family, just one last time. The sudden clarity of what he had done and what was happening to him, hit him with a suddenness that made his head swim.

"Rick!"

That voice called out to him again. Brilliant blue eyes looked to his left when the sudden presence of another at his side took his notice. "Daryl," he murmured, a soft smile curled his lips upward at the other man. Daryl, he loved that man. They were two sides of the same coin. Daryl was the love of his life and his best friend. He had loved Lori once, there was no doubts about that, but Daryl, he was Rick's soulmate. He couldn't, and honestly didn't want to, live in a world without Daryl by his side. He didn't want to have to imagine it. His heart broke in his chest as he realized, that while he didn't have to live in a world without Daryl, his hunter would have to live in a world without him.

Tears burned Rick's eyes as he connected with beautiful glassy green. There was a sheen of water in those eyes, making the beautiful green eyes sparkle in the sunlight. "Hey, it's okay," Rick murmured gently. Tears were beginning to blur his eyesight, distorting his vision further then it already was. The blue eyed man blinked rapidly as he tried to force the tears at bay, but lost the fight as tears glided rapidly down his cheeks. Rick gazed up at the man he loved with all his heart. "It's okay," he said in a soft voice. His eyes burned as he tried to reassure Daryl, even as more tears fell from the green eyes he adored so much.

Daryl choked out a sob, as his hands softly brushed Rick's short curly graying hair from his cheek. He knew, as he looked down at the man he loved so fiercely and completely, that he wouldn't survive this time. Daryl could hear it with each wheezing breath and cough that he made. He could see it in his blood stained hand and the coldness that was taking over him. He could see it in Rick's eyes, that Rick knew it too. "It's okay," he agreed with a sorrowful and grief-stricken expression.

"I...I did it," he murmured with a half hearted chuckle. His eyes closed for a moment, before a fierce blinking of his eyelashes, those beautiful blue eyes opened again. "It wasn't going to break," he muttered in exhaustion. "It was...it was gonna hold," his bloodied hand rose and lightly touched Daryl's cheek. His hand raised and gripped Rick's bloodied hand tightly in his. He held it against his cheek, uncaring of the blood staining his. He didn't care that the others watched on in grief and silence, as the couple had their last moment together. "I...I...couldn' le' it. I 'ad ta'...I 'ad ta' stop it," he mumbled incoherently.

The group that stood around Daryl and Rick, consisted of Michonne, Maggie, Riley, Carol, Eugene, Jesus, and numerous others, all shared a look between one another. There was a sudden understanding that graced their faces as they suddenly realized what he had done for them. He had been willing to sacrifice himself, to save them and the Hilltop. Rick was always willing to do what was needed. Even if it meant his death or injury in the end. It was one thing about Rick that they all knew, it was that he rarely considered his health when it came to doing what was needed.

The group stood back and watched with grief and sorrow. Michonne is held by Riley as she weeps. The older woman sheds tears as she knows that she is losing her best friend and brother. Riley fought the battle against his own tears. He was once again losing another member of his family. Maggie, Carol, and the others all silently shed tears of despair as another member they loved and cared about is being lost to them.

"I love you," Rick whispered while he remained in eye contact with Daryl. They never said it often enough, he realized abruptly. They always had something else to say, about everything else they had to do to survive, but never about them. He could feel it in his aching and throbbing body that he didn't have much longer, but he wanted Daryl to know it. He wanted those he considered his family to know it. "I love this family...every one of you," he muttered aloud to the other's.

"I love you too," Daryl rasped out. His right hand gently traced Rick's cheek. His left hand still gripped Rick's other hand against his cheek as his eyes squeezed shut for a moment. In that small moment, Daryl's heart was breaking as green eyes opened once again to stare down into brilliant blue eyes.

Michonne collapsed beside Rick and gently gripped his other hand that held the Colt Python. Riley crouched beside her as he sadly looked down at the man he had considered a father. "We love you too Rick," Michonne whispered with tears thick in her voice.

A smile curled his lips at hearing their words. During his hallucinations, he had gotten to say goodbye to his loved ones. He had finally been able to get some closure with saying goodbye to Shane and Lori. He was able to apologize to Evie and Jeffrey, his younger siblings that he hadn't been able to save. He was able to say goodbye one last time to Carl. To apologize to him too for not saving him and being there for him when he should have been.

There was so many more people that he wished he could have saved. He wished he could have saved Glenn, Abraham, Hershel, Tyrese, Lori, Jeffrey, Evie, Patricia, Shane, Merle, Andrea, Sasha, Beth, Sophia, Amy, Duane, Sophia, and so many others. If he was just given that chance, he'd change everything so those he loved and cared for had a safe place to live and thrive.

If he had known what he knew now when he first awoke in that hospital, he would have done things differently. He would have grabbed the supplies he could have from the hospital. He would have grabbed the other supplies from the town. He would have done so many things differently, if he merely had the opportunity.

Rick's eyesight began to darken as the world seemed to close in around him. The frantic and grief stricken voices of those he was leaving behind echoed through the air, but they were a mere distant echo to Rick.

As Rick's hand went limp in Daryl's, his breathing finally stopped, and his chest went still.