A/N: Hey guys! Back with yet another update! Hope you guys like it!
The warmer weather brings a freshness to the world that Annabeth realizes she's been missing. The darkness of winter is replaced by, admittedly, just clouds and rainy weather, but the air feels different.
She feels less...stifled. Maybe it's that she can shed a few layers due to the warmth or just because spring is cropping up, she doesn't know. But either way, it feels like a beginning.
And maybe that's what motivates her to pursue a crazy little idea that had popped into her head a couple of weeks ago and persisted.
It's a rainy day that she finds herself propping up her phone against a couple of books and angling a lamp towards a plain white wall.
She pauses once she's done, sits on the chair she had dragged to the little scene, and thinks this is so dumb.
What is she even doing? Who does she think she is?
She hesitates right before she reaches towards her phone. This is a dumb idea. She stares at herself on the screen as her brain tries to convince her how stupid it is of her to think she can do this.
Also, the wall behind her is painfully plain.
How come no one talks about how difficult it is to set a backdrop in any of their videos? Actually, there are probably videos on that. There are videos on everything.
But instead of pulling up the app to search for it, she gets up and digs out an old whiteboard she had used in college. She hangs it on the wall behind her and writes: How to Youtube?
Before she can properly think about it, she leans forward and presses record.
"Hi, I'm Annabeth, and I just wanted to ask, does anyone know how to Youtube? Because I'm not even creative enough to come up with a backdrop…"
By the time she's done, her phone is complaining of low storage and she's not sure what she's even said. But somewhere in the rambling, she found herself genuinely having fun. It might be the dumbest video ever, but there's a sense of accomplishment she hasn't felt in a while.
-.-
Annabeth doesn't know what to do with this secret video.
She hasn't re-watched it, unable to bring herself to. She might have felt satisfied for making it, but she knows it's really dumb.
Honestly, what was she thinking?
She looks dubiously at the file that she transferred from her phone onto her laptop. What does she do now?
She doesn't know how to edit, sure, she's messed around with the default video editing software on her phone once to make a video collage of pictures for Piper's birthday, but this isn't just pictures and music.
And even if she did try to edit it, there's a lot she'd need to learn. It would take time. Glancing at the clock, she notes it's nine pm... not too late, but still.
What else are you going to do tonight, then?
She sighs and opens up the software. She does have a degree in Computer Science, so she should be able to figure out an editing software, and she's watched enough Youtube to know what kind of edits are entertaining.
Armed with that knowledge, she gets to work.
-.-
With the start of Percy's job, his creativity (and as a result, his book) have been suffering. (Though to be fair, they weren't that stellar before either). And while he's grateful to have a source of income, the 9 to 5 thing is just as much of a drag as it had been before.
He had never really imagined himself in corporate America doing the whole 9 to 5 thing. But then again, he doesn't think anyone really does.
But it's not that bad. It's enough to be stable and, to be fair, gives him enough free time when he's home to work on his book or see his girlfriend.
He's just sort of...stuck right now.
Not being sure of what comes next is one thing, but on top of that, he had read a short story online that had been so well written that it had made him question his own abilities.
Sure, he's been writing for several years, so he knows he isn't horrible. But when he reads other people's writing it's always a slap of reality that there is so much better content out there and he will never be that good.
He wants so badly to write something as profound and intricate as the things he's read, but it feels like such a far-off task. It feels like he doesn't have the right words in the right way to make anything remotely memorable.
It's immensely disheartening and he finds himself hating the book he's spent so long writing. It's stupid and dumb and he needs to consult an expert.
He goes to his mom.
"You need to visit more," his mom scolds when he shows up. He nods. She's right, he really does. The last time he had visited had been Christmas and a quick visit after New Years to drop off some cupcakes he'd baked for Lily.
He doesn't realize just how much he's missed everyone until he's there and Paul's giving him a smile and Lily almost runs him over with a hug.
"I promise I will." And he plans on sticking to that.
They settle on the dining table with a plate of cookies and he's just finished catching them up on his job when Paul tells them he needs to take Lily to dance practice. Five minutes after they've left his mom turns to him. "So," she starts. "What's going on?"
He's never been able to figure out how his mom always knows when something is bugging him. She had even been able to tell when he had called back in January after his fight with Annabeth.
He gives up on questioning her about it and jumps straight into it. "I suck at writing."
She raises an eyebrow.
"Other people are better at writing," he rephrases.
"So?"
He's taken back at her frankness. He doesn't know how to answer.
"Does that mean you're just never going to write?" she continues, passing him a cookie like she's talking about the weather and not his hopes and dreams. "You can't just give up because other people are good at something you do."
"Writing is not about comparing, it's about creating. You can't compare what comes from the heart."
Percy feels like he's got the wind sucked out of him. Simple enough, but somehow, he just needed to hear that. He nods wordlessly and takes a bite of his cookie just to have something to do as his mind races a mile a minute.
"So tell me, what's really stopping you?" She passes him a glass of milk and he feels like he's ten years old talking about some trouble at school.
"I'm stuck," he admits. "I don't know where to take it."
But it's more than that, because he's started to doubt if his plot is even good enough or the characters engaging enough, or the story even worth telling. He doesn't know if this thing he's poured so much of his life into is even worth it and he's just stuck.
"I don't know if it's good enough."
His mom reads what isn't said. "I remember getting stuck on my book. I started questioning everything and didn't know what to do."
He looks at her eagerly. "So what did you do?"
"Kept writing." She shrugs. "I didn't hate it and figured something was better than nothing. You can always edit writing you don't like, but you can't edit nothing."
Percy goes back home with the sweetness of chocolate chip in his mouth, a swarm of thoughts in his mind, and an itch to pick up his pen once again.
-.-
Annabeth unintentionally intentionally makes a joke about being a Youtuber the next time she hangs out with Percy.
To her surprise he just shrugs. "Go for it."
"What?" She's flabbergasted. She might have been trying to float the idea, but never had she thought her boyfriend would support it so casually.
"I said go for it." He's setting out plates for the takeout they had ordered. "Why don't you make Youtube videos?"
"Wha— you can't just— it's a process— it's not something— " Suddenly she can't even formulate a proper sentence.
He raises an eyebrow at her over a can of freshly-opened Pepsi and she feels the need to defend herself. "It's not just something you do. You need to have the proper equipment, and some good ideas, and you have to edit, and it's a whole thing."
He sighs. "Annabeth, why do you watch Youtube?"
She frowns at the question, he knows this. "Because I enjoy it."
"Why?"
She shrugs, not seeing where this line of questioning is going at all. "I don't know, because I like the people I follow."
"Why do you follow those people?"
She throws her hands up in the air. "I don't know, how am I supposed to explain that? I just do. They're genuinely good people who make me smile or laugh and they care about things."
He nods. "Exactly."
The confusion must show because he leans forward, looking at her intently. "You don't need fancy equipment or crazy ideas or anything to do that. You just need—"
He breaks off and puts a hand over her heart.
"So," he says gently. "I think you have everything you need."
A/N: Creative couples are my weakness lol But really, a very creativity heavy chapter because lets be real, creativity is a form of self-expression and can lead to growth. A few of you had guessed youtuber Annabeth, and seems like she's gonna try it out :)
Percy is me in this chapter. Everything he expresses about his writing is verbatim what I felt writing this fic a year and a half ago. I'd gotten to the point where I was almost 30,000 words into my NaNoWriMo and I just thought that this story was not good. Not horrible, but not engaging enough for anyone to really care about it.
And you guys have transformed that. The amount of support I've gotten is mind-boggling because I truly got to this point where I was like no one wants to read this hyper realistic fic about life after college. So thank you so much! To everyone who has read and especially those of you who review. Hearing your feedback made me understand that this might have actually been worth writing and posting. And I'm more grateful for that than you could know. I spent a month writing this and six months re-writing and editing it, so to know that all that work is well-received…thank you, truly.
And the takeaway is not that you need other people's validation, I kept writing because editing is always an option and writing (or anything creative) should be for you first before anyone else. Ultimately I learned that this is the book I needed to write. So to anyone working on a creative project who's doubting themselves, keep going. Keep going for you :)
So Please Review! I really would love to hear your thoughts on this!
And as always, thanks for reading!
See ya! :)