In Which Xiaoyanzi Gets Lost in the Palace
This takes place in HZGG 3, where Zhihua is in the palace but not yet married to Yongqi. Lao Fuo Ye is currently pressuring Yongqi to marry Zhihua. She still does not know Xiaoyanzi's background but is checking.
*Palace - Capital P refers to the Forbidden City, the entire Palace
palace - small letter p refers to the different residences within the palace, like Jing Yang Gong.
The Palace
Xiaoyanzi was upset. She saw clearly how much Lao Fuo Ye favoured Zhihua, and as much as she tried to not think about it, she was somewhat aware that plans were being made for Yongqi regarding Zhihua. She was not as obtuse as she portrayed herself to be.
Feeling stifled in Jing Yang Gong, she managed to escape her servants and got out of that palace. Yongqi was busy that day, tending to work Huang Ah Ma had given him, and had told her he would be back late. She was bored too. Ziwei was no longer in the Palace, and she did not want to go to Ci Ning Gong to find Qing'er. So she pretended she wanted to have a good rest and told the servants not to disturb her, and snuck out.
Xiaoyanzi wandered along the palace corridors rather despondently, not really aware of her surroundings. Finally, she realised she was in a rather deserted part of the palace where she had never been before. In front of her loomed a huge door, as large as a gate.
What is this place? She silently wondered, getting curious. This definitely was not the Cold Palace – she knew where that was. In fact, she was feeling slightly afraid because she had no idea where she was and how to get out of this place. Many times Yongqi had told her the palace was a maze and she had mostly kept to her familiar Shu Fang Zhai, Jing Yang Gong routes, and of course the places where the Emperor, Lao Fuo Ye, Ling Fei and the Empress lived. Never had she the chance to venture further, mostly because Yongqi was always with her. Or Ziwei.
Soon, fear gave way to curiosity as this place did not seem like the other residences such as Ci Ning Gong or Qian Qing Gong. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand to sound the knocker at the door, again questioning if she should. "Oh, what the heck!" she muttered and lifted the knocker.
She was about to knock another time when the door creaked opened, and an elderly lady appeared. Xiaoyanzi tried to peek inside. Suddenly, she was at a lost for words for she had no idea who the lady was nor how to greet her. "Wu Fu Jin pays respects to Niang Niang." She finally said, and curtsied. She won't be able to go wrong with Niang Niang right? Hopefully.
"What do you want?" The woman asked, furrowing her eyebrows rather suspiciously at her.
"Oh, I…er…. Well, I was walking around the Palace and stumbled here. I got curious and wanted to find out who lives here." Xiaoyanzi confessed rather sheepishly.
"Nobody is welcomed here. Don't you know? Don't come back again." The woman said, and shut the door.
That got Xiaoyanzi both more curious and annoyed. What's with all the secrecy? She had to find out. She folded her arms and glared at the door in front of her. Actually, from the peek she had snuck when the door was opened, the place inside looked really nice and open, just the type of place she loved and craved for. It actually felt like it was outside the Palace, rather than another residence within the Palace. Plus, she spotted a swing! She love swings! So Xiaoyanzi was determined to make her way inside, rules be damned.
She looked thoughtfully at the wall. It was high but not as high as the walls which guarded the Palace from the outside. Her qing-gong and martial skills had improved quite a bit since Xiaojian began teaching her. Yes, she would try to climb over the wall.
'Ooof' Xiaoyanzi groaned as she landed on her back on the other side of the wall. She did improve, but it wasn't good enough. Still, she had managed to enter this mysterious….garden! What a lovely place! It was so different from the royal palace gardens! Xiaoyanzi got up and took everything in wide eye wonder. She felt FREE! What on earth was this place? Why had no one told her such a place existed? This would help her longings for getting out of the Palace. In fact, she felt like she was outside already!
She walked on, soaking up everything and rushed to the swing and begin to…swing! In that moment, she felt as if she could finally unload and just enjoy the present, and not think about anything else. She closed her eyes, simply enjoying the breeze and feeling of flying.
Until she felt the swing stop. Uh oh. She opened her eyes and saw the same elderly woman glaring at her. "Didn't I say no one is allowed in here?"
"Qing Qing, what is it?" A voice from the inside called out.
"It's the same girl who was at the door! She got in somehow!" The woman who was called Qing Qing glared at Xiaoyanzi, who shrank back in fear.
"Oh it's all right, bring her in." The voice said.
"Come with me." Qing Qing said, rather snottily for an elderly woman and walked into a small but really beautifully designed building that was nearby.
Xiaoyanzi followed her, in both wonder and afraid. Who was the mistress of this place?
Qing Qing led her towards another elderly woman, dressed simply, to Xiaoyanzi's surprised. She wasn't in any form of palace dress – not even a headdress! Who was this mysterious lady?
"And now who is this young lady?" The mistress of this house was sitting in a rocking chair (That looks like a really fun chair to sit on, Xiaoyanzi secretly thought to herself), but leaned forward and examined Xiaoyanzi critically. She had a small twinkle in her eye and smiled pleasantly at Xiaoyanzi. "You know, no one ever dares to come to this area. Even if they did, they would never dare to come in, not like how you did. I bet you jumped over the walls, didn't you." She said.
Xiaoyanzi quickly kneeled and bowed her head, not daring to look at the mistress. "My apologies. I know I should die a thousand deaths…." Oh no oh no oh no, how is Yongqi going to rescue me! How am I ever going to get out of here? If she keeps me, no one will know where I am!
"Oh, shush with those death talk. Superfluous. You don't really mean it, right?" The mistress said. Xiaoyanzi finally kept silent, knowing she really got into trouble this time.
"You are indeed an interesting person…..the most interesting person I have met in say what…..30, 40 years? Qing Qing!" The mistress was trying to think and count.
"Ah, Xiao Jie, about there I think? It has been a long time!" Qing Qing replied
"Come on come on, don't kneel there. Sit down here next to me and tell me all about you. I can tell you are not a typical court lady." The mistress gestured to a chair opposite her and beckoned Qing Qing to make some tea.
Xiaoyanzi hesitantly got up and looking at the mistress unsurely, sat down, feeling rather uncomfortable. This person was strange indeed. But after Lao Fuo Ye, she sure wasn't going to take any chances.
"My name is Xiaoyanzi. I am currently married to Wu Ah Ge, Yongqi. I used to be Huanzhu Ge Ge, Huang Shang's goddaughter." She said.
"Wu Ah Ge, Wu Ah Ge….." The mistress muttered to herself. "Qing Qing, it is Qian Long on the throne now right?" Xiaoyanzi's eyes' boggled. This lady dared say Huang Shang's name aloud?! Who on earth is she?
"Yes, Xiao Jie." Qing Qing replied from behind.
"Ok, so Wu Ah Ge is Yongqi. Right, got it. And you are his wife. What is your family lineage?"
Xiaoyanzi sighed. Was this never going to end in the palace – her background?
"Well, I don't really have one….I am an orphan you see." Xiaoyanzi answered rather hesitantly.
"Really? And you became Qian Long's goddaughter, and managed to marry Wu Ah Ge?" The mistress asked with great interest. "There must be a really interesting story involved! Do tell!"
So Xiaoyanzi launched into the whole story, and soon she forgot herself and became her usual animated self, entertaining the mistress and Qing Qing greatly, who kept laughing. Before long, Xiaoyanzi found herself endeared to this mistress and felt very comfortable with her. Whoever she was.
"Qing Qing, gosh, doesn't she sound familiar?" The mistress said between bouts of laughter. "Boy, I haven't had such a good laugh in ages! You really are a kai xin guo (happy fruit)!"
"Yes yes! That's what Huang Ah Ma says about me." Xiaoyanzi said brightly. "But Nai Nai (grandmother), I have now told you who I am but you haven't told me who you are." Then Xiaoyanzi quickly covered her mouth. She was feeling so comfortable that calling this elderly mistress Nai Nai naturally out of her, but she remembered how nastily Lao Fuo Ye reacted to it initially.
"Nai Nai? How lovely! I haven't got grandchildren to call me that anymore." To Xiaoyanzi's surprise, the mistress eyes shone with delight.
"You aren't angry?"
"Angry? Why should I be angry? It is only right you call me Nai Nai." The mistress said resolutely.
"Lao Fuo Ye didn't really like it." Xiaoyanzi said softly, suddenly subdued.
The mistress' eyes suddenly turned compassionate and she took Xiaoyanzi's hands in her own. "You dear dear girl, this must have all been so overwhelming to you, huh? From a regular person to a princess and now prince consort, it has been hard on you. Especially with all the protocols and rules in the palace."
Xiaoyanzi's large eyes filled with tears. To think someone else also empathised with her. She nodded mutely.
"Qing Qing, the Palace seems fun again, with this young lady around. I think it's time for me to appear again, don't you think?" The mistress looked at Qing Qing mischievously.
"Xiao jie, are you serious?"
The mistress turned to Xiaoyanzi. "I want to meet this Yongqi of yours before I step out of this place. Bring him here tomorrow, to meet me. If he is too scared to come, you come on your own. In fact, this place is welcomed to you anytime!"
Xiaoyanzi stared are her? "Really? I love this place so much! It feels so free, and…..less cooped up in the palace."
The mistress nodded understandingly and suddenly became rather wistful. "This was why he had this place made…. Anyway, Qing Qing knows you now. She will let you in whenever you want."
"But who are you? What should I tell Yongqi? And can I tell Ziwei and Erkang and Qing'er?" Xiaoyanzi asked.
"I would be most delighted to meet your friends. But, let's keep this between us until I meet Yongqi, shall we?" The mistress winked at her, as if in conspiracy. "Remember to come back tomorrow! And don't worry, Yongqi should know how to get here, since I guess you wandered into this part by accident."
"Thank you Nai Nai!" Xiaoyanzi grinned at her.
"Run along now! Your servants and husband must be worried about you." The mistress said.
Xiaoyanzi turned to look out. It was dark! Oh goodness, how time had flown! "Qing Qing will show you the way out."
After Xiaoyanzi left and Qing Qing returned, the mistress told her, "Please prepare my official clothes. It is time for me to make an appearance in the inner court again. And get me a report on what else has been happening outside in the Palace. It seems I have been out of touch for way too long. Oh, and send people to check up on Xiaoyanzi's background."
Jing Yang Gong
"Xiaoyanzi!" She heard Yongqi calling her name as she walked into Jing Yang Gong. "You had me so worried!" He rushed up to her and enveloped her in a hug. "Ming Yue and Cai Xia said you wanted to rest but when I came back and checked on you, you weren't there! Everyone in Jing Yang Gong is out looking for you. I just came back to check, and was about to report you missing to Huang Ah Ma!" He said, a bit angrily.
"I'm so sorry!" Xiaoyanzi cried out and hugged him back. She knew it won't be good for either of them if Lao Fuo Ye got wind that she disappeared again. "Don't be angry. I really truly lost track of time. But Yongqi, guess what? I found someone interesting!"
Yongqi looked at her, puzzled.
She tugged at him. "In private."
He looked at her, exasperated but shook his head. "Xiao Gui Zi, tell the rest Wu Fu Jin is back." He instructed and they headed towards the bedroom.
"Seriously, Xiaoyanzi, you're going to be the death of me." Yongqi said.
Xiaoyanzi linked her arms with his. "Don't be angry," she said again. "I really have a real good reason! And I came back just in time, didn't I?"
Yongqi sighed. He honestly couldn't bear to be angry with her, especially with Zhihua looming over their heads. "Ok, what is it?"
"I was feeling a bit down this afternoon so I wanted to take a walk alone. That's why I left alone." She said softly, a bit embarrassed. "Anyway, I got lost and found myself at some juncture called Tai Ming Lang, and there was this mysterious unnamed door at the end of the road."
At the sound of Tai Ming Lang, Yongqi grew pale. "Don't tell me…"
"Wait, listen! So I went in and met this amazing Nai Nai who I told our story to, and she said to bring you to see her tomorrow."
"WHAT?"
"Really!" Xiaoyanzi nodded earnestly. "You have to believe me!"
"That's a forbidden place, you know. No one knows who is there or lives there because since young we were told never to wander there."
"And of course all of you would listen."
"And of course you wouldn't listen and go there."
"Well, I didn't know!"
Yongqi sighed. "Who is this Nai Nai?"
"I don't know, she didn't say. Her servant's name is Qing Qing, and calls her Xiao Jie, like how Jinsuo calls Ziwei. Even though their both old ladies. She didn't mind me calling her Nai Nai, and she was fascinated by our stories! She really wants to meet you. Please please come tomorrow, Yongqi!" Xiaoyanzi pleaded. "Her place is so beautiful! It doesn't feel like she lives in the palace at all! It has a totally different feel to it! You have to see it. She even has a swing!"
Yongqi smiled and shook his head. "Ok fine, it is good thing I am free tomorrow then. We can go after lunch."
Next Day
Yongqi of course knew where the place was and they made it there without a hitch, surprisingly. There were no guards about.
"So you are Yongqi." The mistress held Yongqi's face between her thumb and forefinger, eyeing his face. "Yes, you do indeed look like him. There is quite a bit of resemblance." She said, albeit to herself.
"If Xiaoyanzi has offended you in anyway, Yongqi pays respects to the mistress of this palace and apologises on Xiaoyanzi's behalf." Yongqi kneeled and said, after the mistress released his face.
"Ah, don't think anything of it. She is adorable. You have chosen well. She will be of much help to you in the possible days to come, so treasure her." The mistress suddenly said to him seriously. "Get up get up, isn't it tiring, all these kneeling? So bad for the joints." She continued rather offhandedly.
Yongqi and Xiaoyanzi exchange looks and almost burst out laughing.
"What? What is it you are not telling me." The mistress was sharp and could tell there was a shared joke.
"Well, Nai Nai, when I first came into the palace I said exactly the same thing! And so I made these things which I called "Gui De Rong Yi (Make Kneeling Easy)". They are cushions that can be tied to your knees so when you kneel, there is some padding." Xiaoyanzi told her proudly.
The mistress burst out laughing. "You clever ingenious girl! Why didn't I think of that myself! What a wonderful idea!"
"But it didn't last long….because it dropped…..in front of Huang Ah Ma." Yongqi couldn't help but add on, poking fun at Xiaoyanzi, who sulked at him.
"Ah. Well, it actually is an idea that can be improved upon. But alas, I doubt the rules in the palace would allow the use of them." The mistress said. "Come, let us sit and talk."
She brought them to the main table, where Qing Qing poured tea and dished out snacks.
"I have finally heard of your stories. Xiaoyanzi, you didn't tell me ALL, especially the one where you helped a concubine elope." She looked with amusement at Xiaoyanzi. "And then how you all had to run for your lives and it was only because Qian Long went down to Nanyang, that's why you came back. And oh, the mishap at your wedding. Goodness, Xiaoyanzi, drama follows you everywhere!"
Xiaoyanzi smiled sheepishly.
"Yongqi, I am very surprised that you, being a prince with such great potential, would risk ruining all that for her." She turned to Yongqi, who met her gaze steadily. "Well, I guess it was still possible because you are still a prince….." she remarked, rather wistfully.
"I know you want to know who I am. Well….I am to Xuan Ye as who Xiaoyanzi is to you, Yongqi." Huai Yu, who used to be Yu Ge Ge, then Yu Huang Gui Fei, and now the Tai Huang Tai Hou (Grand Empress Dowager), finally revealed to them.
Yongqi's eyes widened and mouth opened in shock.
"Who is Xuan Ye?" Xiaoyanzi asked, still oblivious.
"Emperor Kangxi, my great grandfather!" Yongqi whispered, hardly believing who he was in the presence of.
"What!" Xiaoyanzi yelped, and looked at her in disbelief.
"You remind me so much of my Xuan Ye…." Huai Yu continued. "He built this place for me, you know. I was like you Xiaoyanzi: I hated being in the palace."
"You….are still alive?!" Xiaoyanzi asked her, incredulously.
"Yes yes, what can I say? I am good at living." Huai Yu laughed, her eyes twinkling. "So while yes I am your Nai Nai, I am actually your great grandmother, Zu Nai Nai (祖奶奶)."
"Yong Qi pays respects to Tai Huang Tai Hou. Tai Huang Tai Hou ji xiang." Yongqi immediately kneeled down, dragging Xiaoyanzi with him.
"Oh stop that, at least in here." Huai Yu groaned. "This is why I didn't want to tell you who I am. Shall we let things continue the same way before, as if we are outside of the palace? Please continue to call me Zu Nai Nai. It's been a long while since I've had some family warmth." What Huai Yu didn't say was that she missed the children she had with Xuan Ye, and the grandchildren.
"Yes, Zu Nai Nai." Xiaoyanzi immediately responded, and got up. Yongqi got up too, his mind in a whirl.
"Tai Huang Zu Nai Nai," he still couldn't bring himself to just simply call the Grand Empress Dowager 'Zu Nai Nai', "You were a bit of a myth. No one really knew if you were just dreams of my great grandfather, or a real person! There were so many rumours. And why are you still in the palace? I thought all concubines had to go to the nunnery after a succession?"
Huai Yu looked at them in silence, and drummed her fingers, as if debating whether or not to tell them her story. "I am old, and would probably join Xuan Ye soon. Nonetheless, I want people to know our story, and for it to serve to encourage you. I see so much of ourselves in you both." She smiled gently at them. "It is wonderful, to be able to find a soulmate when you are nobility. But it doesn't come without challenges and difficulties. I'd like for at least one of Xuan Ye's descendants to know the real him, and what he did for me."
"Unlike you, Xiaoyanzi, when I met Xuan Ye, he was already Kangxi Emperor, not just a prince." Huai Yu began telling her story. "We fell in love after much drama. Basically when we first met, it was out on the streets and I was dressed as a boy and he used a fake name." She giggled. "Anyway, we found out the truth eventually. I came from a good family background, but I didn't want to be a concubine. What complicated matters further was that it was eventually found out that I was a Ming dynasty princess. Those who rebelled against the Qing rule wanted me to lead and pave the way for the Ming dynasty to return again." Huai Yu looked sad. "But I didn't want to. I loved Xuan Ye. Xuan Ye always fought hard for me and protected me, despite the Empress Dowager's disapproval. She didn't like my spirited personality and wanted her niece to be Empress. So as you can imagine, things got real ugly." Huai Yu had a faraway look.
"Anyway, it all worked out and cleared up in the end. I was fine but I didn't want to be a woman of the Palace. I wanted my freedom. Xuan Ye loved me enough to respect my choice and let me go. So I left…but he came chasing after me." She smiled fondly, recalling the memory. "It was then I realised that I too couldn't live without him. So I came back, and I stayed with him, in the background. We didn't officially marry actually."
"He could never make me Empress, not that I was incapable of it. There were too many controversies regarding my background. The Empress Dowager would never allow it to begin with. I didn't want to be an official position either – I didn't want to be restricted by it. But towards the end of his reign, he realised he had to do something to ensure my protection and safety. He had to work towards me to be able to eventually hold this title, Grand Empress Dowager, so that even after his death I would always be protected and safe. And so he begin planning. By then, the Empress Dowager had passed on, so he had much more freedom to do he wanted. The Empress at that time wasn't too bad really. I guess it was rather manipulative of him but he made a deal with her. Her health wasn't good and hadn't had long to live. He was already planning to make one of her sons the next Emperor so they made a deal. She would bestow me the official title of Huang Gui Fei while she was still alive, and allow me to take the position of Empress Dowager upon her passing in exchange for her son to be crowned the next Emperor. No one would dare object to this announcement out of their fear and respect of Xuan Ye." She explained.
"Even now?" Yongqi still did not quite buy it. That was a huge leap for a lady in waiting to suddenly be titled Huang Gui Fei.
"Yes, even now. Xuan Ye's reign as Kangxi Emperor made too much of positive impact and was revered by many. No one else knew the details but as the Huang Gui Fei of Kangxi, that awarded me all the protection I need, simply because of his name."
"But I thought there were much fighting among the sons of Emperor Kangxi before Huang Ye Ye won it?" Yongqi asked, puzzled. This sounded so much different from the history he learnt.
Huai Yu laughed and spread her hands out helplessly. "Xuan Ye always knew who he wanted to succeed him. There was never a doubt."
"Then what happened?" Xiaoyanzi was very intrigued, and pestered Huai Yu to continue the story.
"Well, Yinzhen's mother did pass on before he was crowned Emperor, and I became the Empress Dowager. I did my duty to help him, and teach the new Empress what needed to be done, and once she proved capable, I decided to retire from the scene and gave explicit instructions that no one is ever to come near this place, where I had intended to live out the rest of my life, with Qing Qing. She was my servant since childhood, but we grew to be best friends, sisters even, though she would never stop calling me Xiao Jie." Huai Yu rolled her eyes. "At our age too!"
Qing Qing just smiled.
"So you see how powerful Xuan Ye was? Even till today, when his grandson is reigning, people still obey my instructions and are terrified of this place, though I think most have forgotton about me. Even Tai Hou would have to differ to me, should I show my face now. Anyway, why is she going around calling herself Lao Fuo Ye?" Huai Yu muttered to herself, rolling her eyes again.
"But….but….aren't you lonely and bored here? Couldn't you have left the Palace?" Xiaoyanzi asked.
Huai Yu shrugged. "I never imagined I would live this long. There's nothing outside for me to see anymore, in any case. All my friends and family are gone. I am the only one left. I got too used to living in the palace, and I never imagined there would be another kindred spirit here until you came along!"
"But how could you have lived here with him without an official title in the beginning?" Yongqi asked again. This lady broke all rules and protocols he knew of, like Xiaoyanzi! Yet she was raised as a noble!
Huaiyu smiled. "Well, it was the early days of the Qing dynasty so the rules and protocols were not as well established as today. Our arrangement was easier really – I was able to wait on him and spend a lot of time with him as he was doing state matters as I wasn't officially part of the inner court. Later on when we started having children he gave us a residence not far from here. And he could come and visit us freely, and I could always go to him, instead of following protocol."
"Then what were you known as here?" Xiaoyanzi asked.
"Yu Ge Ge, guest of Huang Shang." She said simply. "I was always a Ge Ge because of who my father was – General Fu Zheng (傅正) Qin Wang. And Huang Shang allowed me to live in the palace as a guest – as he consolidated his power, no one dared to question him. Most just saw me as his personal servant or lady in waiting."
"Fu (傅)*!" Yongqi exclaimed. "So it means General Fu Heng is your relative!"
"Yes….I guess so. I vaguely remember my brother having a son called Fu Heng. My brother was Fu Rong. He died when Fu Heng was a baby though…."
"Did you regret it, not leaving when you had the chance?" Xiaoyanzi asked quietly. "Now knowing all the women that he would eventually be surrounded by, and the duties that would call him in so many directions?"
"If he hadn't chased after me when I left, I probably would have gone for good." Huai Yu answered honestly. "It is a moot point now, isn't it. I love him, and I always knew he loved me, no matter how many women there had to be. It didn't take the sting out of it though. But," Huai Yu eyed Yongqi and Xiaoyanzi carefully. "I have heard things about you, Yongqi. Things Tai Hou and the current Huang Di are planning for you. In my experience, Xuan Ye wouldn't have made it for so long if I hadn't been there together with him. Do you understand what I am saying?" She said this without a trace of arrogance.
Xiaoyanzi looked down, averting her gaze from Yongqi. Ever since the trip down south, she couldn't pretend to be blind to see the expectations placed on Yongqi, and that one day he might succeed Huang Ah Ma.
Yongqi looked uncomfortably at Huai Yu. "How did Tai Huang Ye Ye and you do it…..maintain your love through everything?"
"Now that's a story for another day." Huai Yu clapped her hands together. "It is getting late." she announced, and proceeded to take off a large beautiful bangle from her arm. "Xiaoyanzi, Xuan Ye's own Zu Nai Nai gave this to me, when I first entered the Palace and faced many troubles. I want to give this to you now, as a blessing." She smiled fondly at Xiaoyanzi and put the bangle on Xiaoyanzi's arm herself.
"Wow, 谢祖奶奶恩宠! (Thank you Zu Nai Nai for your favour)" Xiaoyanzi lifted her arm and looked at it in wonderment.
"Also, here is the key to come into this place. I would like you to be able to come here whenever you feel like it. Yongqi, you are welcome too. Xuan Ye and I shared many fond memories here. It would be nice to see the legacy passed down." The fact that Yongqi believed and accompanied Xiaoyanzi here to this explicitly forbidden place spoke volumes about his love and regard for her. Seems like the capacity for Ai Xin Jue Luo men to fall deeply and whole heartedly in love runs in the family after all. And for spirited ladies. She thought to herself, rather amused.
Yongqi understood she was dismissing them. "Tai Huang Zu Nai Nai, it has been such a great honour to finally meet you. Yongqi looks forward to visiting you more often. Thank you for your favour on Xiaoyanzi." He got up and bowed, following the appropriate protocol. Xiaoyanzi quickly followed.
Huai Yu nodded approvingly as they left. "Xuan Ye, did you see? Did you hear it all, watch it all? Did you bring them to me for a purpose? If so, please help me help them!" she whispered into the wind.
Imperial Gardens
It was half a month since they had met Huai Yu. As much as she said she was cut off from the main Palace, Yongqi was very sure she has her own spy network. If not, how could she have found out so much about them over night?
That day, Xiaoyanzi was playing kites with Dong-er in the imperial gardens, who Ziwei had brought into the Palace with her, visiting Xiaoyanzi.
It just so happened that Lao Fuo Ye was out in the imperial gardens as well, with Zhi Hua supporting her. Qing-er followed closely behind them. Lao Fuo Ye frowned when she saw Xiaoyanzi running about, laughing loudly and freely in the wind as she played with Dong-er, coaxing him to hold the kite.
"This is so unbecoming of a Fu Jin. One would have expected that Xiaoyanzi would become more lady-like after getting married." Lao Fuo Ye expressed her disdained. "Zhi Hua, you are still the best. Well-bred ladies do not behave like that." She patted Zhi Hua's hand, who was supporting her.
"Like what?" A voice suddenly rang out.
Lao Fuo Ye's ears perked up. No, it cannot be. She felt her heart rate increase as memories surge back into her mind.
All turned and saw a very stately older lady walk towards them, with her own entourage of servants.
Lao Fuo Ye turned pale. No, not after all these time! It can't be! Why now?
"Tai Hou, I see that being the Empress Dowager befits you. It has been a long time."
"Chen Qie pays respects to Huang Er Niang, Huang Er Niang Qian Sui Qian Sui Qian Qian Sui." Lao Fuo Ye dipped her head in greeting to everybody's astonishment. Never before had Lao Fuo Ye had to greet someone. Who on earth was this lady?
"Everyone, this is Tai Huang Tai Hou. Please pay your respects." Qing Qing, or now known as Qing Mo Mo, announced.
Everyone kneeled and kowtowed, "Tai Huang Tai Hou ji xiang, may you live a thousand years."
Huai Yu looked at the kneeling subjects and servants, and suddenly remembered her own Zu Nai Nai's words coming back to haunt her. "One day, when you are Tai Huang Tai Hou, you will know how to be one." It was a passing remark, but never once did Huai Yu thought it would really come to pass. And Zu Nai Nai was right after all. After years with Kang Xi and Yong Zhen in the palace, she had learned the ways of the inner palace.
"You may rise." She said.
"Huang Er Niang, I never thought I would see you again. How is your health?" Lao Fuo Ye said to Huai Yu. What she really meant was, what on earth are you doing here, infringing on my territory?
Huan Yu smiled politely. "I am doing very well, thank you. I grew bored in Yi Shou Yuan and decided to come out and look around." I am going to be involved in the inner court again. "So you were saying…?"
"Oh, it's just that girl over there." Lao Fuo Ye pointed Xiaoyanzi out to her. "She is Huan Zhu Ge Ge, adopted daughter of Huang Di from the common, and married Wu Ah Ge Yong Qi, the 5th son of Huang Di. Look at her, is this any way a Fu Jin should be behaving?" Lao Fuo Ye's disapproval and displeasure was very blatant in the tone by which she described Xiaoyanzi. "See here, this is Chen Zhi Hua. Her father is an 3rd grade official and she is skilled in the Qin, Wei Qi, Books and Painting. The very epitome of what a lady of the palace should be." Lao Fuo Ye's intentions of endearing Zhi Hua to Huai Yu was really clear.
Huai Yu sighed inwardly. Why does this scene feel so weirdly familiar. As she look at Zhihua, she could see traces of Cheng Yun, her past nemesis.
The commotion where all the servants had kneeled to greet Huai Yu had served to grab Xiaoyanzi's attention. "It's Zu Nai Nai!" She shouted to Ziwei, and hurriedly went over with Dong'er.
"Zu Nai Nai ji xiang!" She curtsied and greeted Huai Yu, panting from the prior exertion, but her eyes were sparkling.
"Zu Nai Nai, this is Ziwei, my sworn sister. And this is her son, Dong'er." She introduced, completely not noticing Lao Fuo Ye at all.
Zu Nai Nai? Lao Fuo Ye's eyes widened. How did that wild girl know and even get to call Tai Huang Tai Hou Zu Nai Nai? Her eyes soon zeroed in on the bracelet on Xiaoyanzi's wrist. Didn't that belong to Tai Huang Tai Hou?
Huai Yu gave a slight cough and inclined her head towards Lao Fuo Ye's direction. Xiaoyanzi turned and got a shock. "Lao Fuo Ye Ji Xiang!" She quickly greeted in panic. "I apologise for my tardiness."
Lao Fuo Ye simply shook her head and gestured for her to rise.
Ziwei quickly kneeled in front of Huai Yu and greeted her properly, and then greeted Lao Fuo Ye.
"So this is Ziwei." Huai Yu took Ziwei's hand and smiled kindly towards her. "You must call me Zu Nai Nai, like Xiaoyanzi."
"Ziwei obeys," Ziwei smiled back at her great grandmother. She had heard all about her from Xiaoyanzi.
"And my, your son! This is incredible! I get to meet my great great grandson!" Huai Yu looked at Dong-er excitedly. Ziwei quickly carried him up so that Huai Yu can carry him if she wanted. But Huai Yu only patted his head and cheek. "What a wonderful decision to come out today! It's a great blessing to meet you, little Dong-er!" Huai Yu said exuberantly.
Lao Fuo Ye frowned. This was not good, not good at all for her plans…..
"Tai Hou." Huai Yu spoke to Lao Fuo Ye again, bringing her out of her thoughts. "I think Xiaoyanzi is doing just fine as a Fu Jin. How would she bond with her nephew, if she does not play with him?" Huai Yu asked pointedly.
"Shi, Chen Qie acknowledges Huang Er Niang's reprimand." Lao Fuo Ye said, albeit grudgingly.
"Xiaoyanzi, you are teaching Dong-er how to fly a kite?" Huai Yu asked.
Xiaoyanzi nodded.
"Come on then, let me join you. It has been a long time since I did kite flying." Huai Yu said excitedly and linked arms with Xiaoyanzi. Before she walked off though, she said, "Tai Hou, I intend to move into Shou Kang Gong. Please make the necessary arrangements. Qing Mo Mo will oversee the move."
"Shi, Huang Er Niang." Lao Fuo Ye replied and bowed her head, though inside she was fuming. She didn't know much about this Tai Huang Tai Hou except that she was Emperor Kangxi's beloved Huang Gui Fei before Yinzhen succeeded him. (By the time she married Yinzhen, Huai Yu was long being a Huang Gui Fei). So like it or not, she had to show her the reverence expected. Shou Kang Gong…..wasn't that just next to her Ci Ning Gong? What was she up to? And the fact she completely ignored and basically snubbed Zhihua while showering so much attention on Xiaoyanzi…Lao Fuo Ye clenched her fist tightly in anger. Xiaoyanzi had clearly found a much stronger supporter in alliancing herself with the Grand Empress Dowager.
The fateful banquet at Ci Ning Gong
Lao Fuo Ye smiled as she saw the 6 young people unconscious in her dining table. Yes, all was going to plan, though she did feel a pinch of guilt and a bit regretful as Ziwei and Qing'er had pleaded. "Take and lock them in the dungeon." She ordered her servants. Zhihua even had a tiny smile of triumph. Her plans are working.
"Tai Huang Tai Hou Jia Dao! " The loud announcement suddenly rang clear as day in the dark night.
Lao Fuo Ye looked up, stunned.
"Huang Er Niang Ji Xiang." Lao Fuo Ye greeted Huai Yu who strode into the room angrily, looking at all the 6 young people whom she had grown to love over the past months, on the floor, passed out cold. As Lao Fuo Ye was increasingly favouring Zhi Hua, Huai Yu had taken Qing'er under her wing.
"Tai Hou! What is this!" Huai Yu said angrily.
"Huang Er Niang, please hold your anger. There is a reason…."
"Yes, I know the reason all right. You don't need to explain. Guards," Huai Yu spoke up. "Bring Erkang and Ziwei to Jing Yang Gong with Yongqi and Xiaoyanzi. Bring Xiaojian and Qing'er to my palace."
"Huang Er Niang! I cannot allow you to take Xiaojian. He is…"
Huai Yu held up her hand and glared at Lao Fuo Ye. "I know everything." She snapped. "We will meet at my place tomorrow morning after court, and Huang Di will be there."
Huang Di? Lao Fuo Ye thought, her heart sinking. This means all leverage she had would be gone. But before she could say anything, Huai Yu had stalked out the room, her guards carrying the 6 young people to the respective places Huai Yu had ordered them to.
The Next Day
They all had woken up groggy but were instructed to report to directly to Yong Shou Gong. Xiaojian had initially wanted to try to run away but Huai Yu had sent him a letter. "Don't worry. Trust me." Over the past few months, the 6 of them had grown to love Huai Yu like their own grandmother. She emitted such warmth that wasn't found in the palace, and her adorable mannerisms, so similar to Xiaoyanzi, even softened Xiaojian's vengeful heart. He realised he did indeed trust her. In any case, he knew he was surrounded by highly skilled guards.
It was a solemn affair as they gathered in the court of the Grand Empress Dowager. Xiaoyanzi was suppressing her anger, giving Yongqi, Erkang and even Ziwei the silent treatment, glaring daggers at everyone. Ziwei could hardly blame her, in wake of the sudden revelation that her beloved Huang Ah Ma was the one responsible for killing her parents, and that Yongqi, her husband, was the his son.
Yongqi was totally perplexed, and in a state of panic, not wanting to believe any revelations Xiaojian said the night before.
Qing'er was so relieved to see Xiaojian unharmed, and they were escorted together to the outer court of Huai Yi's palace.
But regardless of whatever complex emotions they were feeling after the awful accusations Lao Fuo Ye had hurled at them last night, they knew that they were safe under the protection of Huai Yu.
After all the greetings were made, the Emperor spoke up. "Huang Er Niang, how could you? How could you drug them? They are just children! Isn't there anything that can't be talked about in a family?" Huang Shang was almost pleading with Lao Fuo Ye. He didn't understand.
"Huang Di, you have no idea how dangerous they are, especially the siblings Xiaojian and Xiaoyanzi. I did this all for your protection." Lao Fuo Ye spoke out self-righteously.
"Yes I do. Tai Huang Zu Mu (太皇祖母) has already briefed me on the situation much earlier on and I had actually spent the past two weeks gathering intel regarding the case of Fang Zhi Hang." Huang Shang announced.
The 6 young people exchange glances in shock. So it was all out? The secret was out?
"Huang Ah Ma! Huang Ah Ma! What is really happening? Why did Xiao Jian say that you are my 杀父仇人(enemy who killed my father)? Are you? Are you?" Xiaoyanzi began crying as she cried out to Huang Shang.
The Emperor sighed. "I will tell you what happened and you and your brother can make that judgement for yourself." He paused. "Your father was actually framed by his cousin. Your father was well-liked by the people, and very well accomplished, and his cousin was jealous of it as he was very ambitious. Your father had the position he wanted, and opportunities for further promotion, except that your father never accepted it. In any case, while much of the evidence was planted and his cousin tipped off the imperial court about your father's treasonous thoughts, he did indeed write a poem that could be interpreted as treasonous. The poem and documents are all here for you to read in detail. But it is just a poem, and didn't warrant such a heavy sentence. I must admit that this case was handled rather haphazardly, in a time where a famine was occurring in another part of the country, causing my lack of attention – not that it is an excuse. What happened to your family was indeed a tragedy and for my carelessness, I do apologise, my dear Xiaoyanzi, and Xiaojian."
"So you mean there's another person to take revenge on? Our father's cousin?" Xiaojian asked.
The Emperor nodded. "But you have already done that."
"What?" Xiaoyanzi exclaimed.
"I suppose it is all fate. Remember during our trip down south, we took down the corrupt official, Fang Shi Zhou? He was actually the one who framed your father." The Emperor said.
"What!"
Ziwei quickly turned to Xiaoyanzi. "Xiaoyanzi! Xiao Jian! Heaven has eyes! Huang Ah Ma is not your enemy! It was that corrupt official all along! Xiaojian, you don't need to be in such turmoil anymore!"
Xiaojian, his face impassive, asked the Emperor, "Do you mean to say that you have completely no involvement in my father's imprisonment and death?"
The Emperor shook his head. "I do admit I have a role in all these, after all, without me, he wouldn't be accused of having thoughts of treason. Furthermore, the authority I gave to the presiding magistrate, Ma Da Ren, was from me."
"Xiaoyanzi, from my understanding, if not for Lao Fuo Ye's interference, you would have never known this truth." Huang Shang stated gently.
"Yes, yes, Huang Ah Ma, Xiaojian already forgave you, for the sake of Qing'er and Xiaoyanzi's happiness. He knew that knowing the truth would devastate Xiaoyanzi, not to mention Yongqi, so he was determined to keep it to himself, never to reveal it to anyone. He didn't even reveal it to Erkang and me. Erkang guessed it." Ziwei quickly explained.
"This explains your strange behaviour regarding Qing'er." Huang Shang said. "I now understand why you never wanted a position of an official. Fine. Qing'er," Huang Shang turned to her. "I have seen how much you are willing to sacrifice for Xiaojian. Are you agreeable if I gave you away in marriage to Xiaojian and allow you to leave the palace, to go with him wherever he wishes to go?"
"Huang Di!" Lao Fuo Ye was in shock. "Qing'er is a princess, your niece! How could, how could you match her to this man who was bent on murdering you?"
"Huang Er Niang, don't you think if Xiaojian wanted to kill me, he would have easily done so earlier on? There were plenty of opportunities: During Xiaoyanzi and Ziwei's wedding, during the years after that when he was allowed free access in and out of the palace, during our trip down south. No, he never took action, because these children value relationship and love above all." Huang Shang said with understanding.
"But it doesn't mean he wouldn't in future, and how about Xiaoyanzi, now that she knows?" Lao Fuo Ye refused to let up.
"Tai Hou, what was your intentions in drugging the 6 of them? If you have known these dangers, why didn't you raise them to Huang Di to begin with?" Huai Yu suddenly cut in.
Lao Fuo Ye turned, suddenly stunned at the question. Yes, why indeed?
"Gui Mo Mo" Huai Yu called sharply.
Gui Mo Mo looked fugitively between the two Dowagers. She was smart. She always alliance herself with the one with most power so that she would always have authority. In the past it was Tai Hou, but now it seems like Tai Huang Tai Hou is having sway over the inner palace. She made her decision.
"Replying Tai Huang Tai Hou, the intention was to imprison them, and to use the release of Xiao Daxia and keeping of this secret in exchange for Wu Ah Ge to marry Zhihua Xiaojie. If they didn't comply, Xiao Daxia would be…..killed." Gui Mo Mo kneeled and trembled, spilling the truth, not daring to look at Lao Fuo Ye. If looks could kill, Gui Mo Mo would be dead.
"What did you say?" Huang Shang was horrified. "Huang Er Niang! How could you?" The Emperor was more heartbroken than angry to find out how scheming his mother was.
"Well, would Yongqi have married Zhihua otherwise?" Lao Fuo Ye was self-justified in her reasoning, though annoyed that Gui Mo Mo had so easily betrayed her.
"You keep saying whatever you did was for my protection, but it really isn't, right? All you wanted was for Zhihua to marry Yongqi, and you stumbled onto some leverage to force him to do it." The Emperor stated furiously.
"No…no…I…I…." Lao Fuo Ye stumbled backwards, Zhihua supporting her, in shock. Her mind suddenly got clear. It was as Huang Di said. If she truly was for protecting him, she would not have kept it a secret from him and used it as leverage. After all, Xiaoyanzi would still be around if Yongqi had married Zhihua, and Xiaojian could easily come back. All she did was to further her own agenda and antagonise the children, adding to their pain in the process.
"Lao Fuo Ye!" Qing'er cried out. "Qing'er has accompanied you to chant and pray to Buddha so often, we stayed in the temples to be pious, yet how could you not display kindness, love and forgiveness such as Xiaojian who has been struggling between his filial piety towards his parents and love towards me, and all of us, and who eventually decided to let go of his vengeance because of love?"
Lao Fuo Ye looked even more lost and dismayed. What was happening? Why does her plan seem so ridiculous now? She suddenly turned sideways to look carefully at Zhihua. Could it be…?
"Xiaoyanzi is not fit to be a Fu Jin. Especially not Yongqi's Fu Jin." She finally said.
"Lao Fuo Ye! You have always had a grudge against me. Yes, I know I don't know idioms, poems, I can't be lady-like and gentle, I am the complete antithesis of what Yongqi should have in a wife. Fine, I will leave then! I have gotten enough of this place. The only reason I stayed and tried so hard was because of Yongqi and Huang Ah Ma. But it will never be good enough for you, will it? And you will never allow Yongqi to have a say regarding his marriage, would you? So let me leave and I will be out of your sight." Xiaoyanzi went on a tirade in anger, glaring at Lao Fuo Ye and folded her arms, rules be damned. She had enough of this. Especially after learning about her parents and family.
"Xiaoyanzi, no! How can you say that you will just leave like that? If you are leaving, I am leaving too!" Yongqi said determinately. To say he was touched that it was because of him that she stayed and forced herself to do things she didn't like was an understatement. He now knew for sure they could never be apart.
"You two.….You…" Lao Fuo Ye glared back at her, speechless at both their audacity. She can't loose Yongqi!
"Xiaoyanzi, stay with me for the time being." Huai Yu finally said. She was observing how the proceedings were playing out. Xiaoyanzi turned to her in shock. Huai Yu nodded and gave her a small smile. In turn, she gave Yongqi a meaningful look, and he lowered his eyes in compliance.
"Ok fine…..and it's only because it's Zu Nai Nai." Xiaoyanzi agreed rather sulkily.
Huai Yu turned back to Qing'er. "Qing'er, Huang Di has asked you a question. Would you not answer him?" she probed, gently.
"Replying Huang Shang," Qing'er looked at Huai Yu, then at Lao Fuo Ye, and finally at Huang Shang. "Yes, I am willing to leave the palace and follow Xiaojian."
Lao Fuo Ye sucked in her breathe. No no no, this was not supposed to be happening. "My Qing'er!" She looked at Qing'er firmly. "Are you sure? How can you leave me?"
"Lao Fuo Ye, you can call me unfilial, you can call me anything, and I know I have disappointed you greatly. But I'm sorry, I…..I love Xiaojian. He is my life. Being without him is torture!" Qing'er said remorsefuly, tears following down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I have disregarded all that I have learnt in books. Forget me, Lao Fuo Ye. You have Zhihua now. She will be able to serve you much better than me. I am no longer worthy of your favour." Qing'er was sure now that she no longer wanted to stay in the palace with all the deceit, betrayals, schemes. She would rather have a simple but free and happy life outside the palace.
Lao Fuo Ye snorted. To be honest, she still loved Qing'er dearly as her own granddaughter, but this is precisely why she cannot bear for Qing'er to be married to Xiaojian. She cannot believe Xiaojian will bring Qing'er happiness.
"Good. Then it is set. Xiaojian, would giving Qing'er to you make up for all the tragedies in your life?" Qian Long asked Xiaojian.
"Most definitely, Huang Shang. Qing'er means the world to me. For her, I can forsake anything. One Qing'er is much more than sufficient to make up for all the sufferings I had endured." Xiaojian could hardly believe this. Indeed, he had misjudged the Emperor so very wrongly.
"Huang Di!" Lao Fuo Ye tried one last attempt, though she could obviously tell the battle had been lost. She sighed inwardly. Where had she gone wrong? If only Huang Er Niang did not step into the inner palace again, she thought furiously. It was all Tai Huang Tai Hou's fault!
Zhihua observed the happenings in horror. No, this wasn't supposed to happen! How is she going to marry Yongqi if things were like this? Why didn't the plan work? Her hands clutched her handkerchief tightly as she tried to keep a composed face.
"Huang Er Niang, please try to understand. Even I can see how unhappy Qing'er has been lately. Just let it be. It was my mistake after all, that resulted in Xiaojian and Xiaoyanzi's parents' deaths. So please help prepare a dowry befitting for her as a princess. As for the wedding, Xiaojian, I know you have many contacts and friends. You can organise one yourself." Huang Shang took a deep breathe. "Xiaoyanzi, would you still hold me accountable for your sufferings?" He asked her tenderly.
Xiaoyanzi burst out crying. "Huang Ah Ma, I don't know. I don't know. I don't even know what I am feeling. I….I…."
"I think we should take a break and let Xiaoyanzi process all of these first." Huai Yu finally said. "It is just news to her that probably hasn't sunk in. Let us give her some time."
"Tai Huang Tai Hou is right." The Emperor declared. "Meeting adjourned."
As everyone took their leave, Huai Yu looked at the forlorn Xiaoyanzi with sympathy. Learning about your own family background and that the one who was partially responsible for her birth parents' death was her adopted father, and she married his son overnight was overwhelming. That needed some time to digest, and it would be good for Xiaoyanzi and Yongqi to be separated a time so that they can process it separately. She sighed. Xuan Ye, how could things get anymore similar than us? She asked him silently.
Before bed, Huai Yu visited Xiaoyanzi in her quarters again. "Xiaoyanzi?"
"Zu Nai Nai ji xiang." Xiaoyanzi greeted her listlessly.
"My dear Xiaoyanzi," Huai Yu went to sit by her and pulled Xiaoyanzi into a hug, and Xiaoyanzi began sobbing uncontrollably. "I know….I understand. It is a lot of information to process. Take all the time you need. I am always here for you."
"Zu Nai Nai!" Xiaoyanzi began bawling even louder, hugging her even more tightly. All Huai Yu could do was to hug and comfort her.
It was a week before Xiaoyanzi could even go to the main room to have breakfast with Huai Yu. She was either in her room or practising her sword and martial skills in the backyard, refusing to speak with anyone. Huai Yu denied her all visitors, even Ziwei. "No, she needs to digest it by herself. Don't worry, she will be fine." She gently turned Ziwei away.
In the meanwhile, she took the opportunity to speak with Yongqi when he came begging to see Xiaoyanzi. "Yongqi, I have already shared with you the struggles Xuan Ye and I went through, both before and after my decision to stay. Though, I never knew there were so much parallels in terms of our backgrounds. But remember, Xiaoyanzi is not me. Xuan Ye is not you. He was already the Emperor. And you can clearly see the fruits of his labour and sacrifice. I am very proud of him and never loved him any less for his duty." She paused a while. "On one hand I can understand where Tai Hou is coming from. I can see the same potential in you as well. But remember, the decision lies with both of you equally, and you need to respect each other's choice." So Yongqi was also turned away, but her words left him in deep thought.
"Good Morning Zu Nai Nai, Zu Nai Nai ji xiang." Xiaoyanzi greeted Huai Yu, with a tentative smile on her face.
"Xiaoyanzi! It is good to see you. Come, come and sit and let's eat!" Huai Yu welcomed her warmly.
Xiaoyanzi nodded and sat down silently, uncharacteristically subdued.
They ate their breakfast in amicable silence.
"Zu Nai Nai," Xiaoyanzi finally asked after all the breakfast things were cleared away. "Did you not feel guilty for not being angry at the very people who killed your parents and overthrew your dynasty?"
"Tell me first, what are you feeling and thinking." Huai Yu gently led her over to a more comfortable position where they could talk comfortably. Qing Qing, understanding her mistress perfectly, quickly dismissed the rest of the servants and withdrew herself.
"Well, I honestly can't bring myself to hate Huang Ah Ma and Yongqi. Or Ziwei. I love them, I love them so much, it hurts. And I feel bad for not wanting to take revenge for my parents. Yes, true, I did suffer as an orphan, but it all turned out ok right? And when I met Ziwei, she was so wonderful to me, even willing to let me have her father! How can I become the one who kills her father or hold enemity against her family? And Huang Ah Ma has always been so kind, loving and benevolent to me, way more than I deserve! I could get away with things no one else in the palace could, all because of his favour. And Yongqi," Xiaoyanzi covered her face with her hands and moaned. "Where do I even begin? Yongqi has always been my champion from day one, even when he found out that I was a fake princess! And I always scold him, argue with him, but he always was the bigger person and accepted me for who I am." She looked at Huai Yu tearfully. "Zu Nai Nai, I love them! I really love them! Yet I can't help but feel I ought to feel guilty or something for loving them, because of what happened to my parents. I feel like I can't look my brother in the face! Ughhh!"
Huai Yu nodded understandingly. "For me, I grew up in a Qing General's home, not knowing my heritage. They loved me unconditionally. My dear brother always spoiled me too. I played pranks, was naughty, disobedient, but they never stopped loving me. When I first got wind of rumours that I was a Ming Dynasty princess, the last of the Ming royal family, I didn't really believe it. I simply dismissed it as rumours, though it really bothered Xuan Ye. I guess I didn't want it to be true, so tried to be oblivious to it. Obviously if it was true, I had to be killed. Anyway, it turned out to be true in the end. But by that time, I was deeply in love with Xuan Ye. And I always loved my adopted family as my own. Comparatively, I never knew my real parents. So they didn't feel as real to me. I was able to accept the rule of the Manchurians – in my thinking, it didn't make much difference to me. And then, seeing how the Qing rebels were full of anger, bitterness and hatred…..stopping at no means to practically force me on the throne…..I realised I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to be to be consumed with hatred and vengeful thoughts. This is probably the reason why your brother and Erkang and Ziwei never wanted to tell you nor Yongqi the truth. They didn't want your happiness to be taken away."
Xiaoyanzi frowned. This was yet another issue – why didn't they ever tell her the truth before? But what Huai Yu was saying made sense.
"Think about it. This was what I realised when my adopted father told me the whole story." Huai Yu continued. "My Queen mother sacrificed her life to save me. A Ming Dynasty General sacrificed his life so that I could stay alive. A Qing Dynasty General risked his life, family and career so that I could live, and he and his family loved me as their own. Won't their sacrifices all be in vain if I was hell bent on revenge, instead of living happily as they would want me to? So no, I do not feel guilty about loving who I loved, but instead, I am eternally grateful to those who sacrificed to give me life."
Huai Yu left Xiaoyanzi to continue pondering over her words, and sent word to Yongqi to come and take her home in three days.
Three Days Later
"Wu Ah Ge Dao!" The eunuch at the entrance shouted.
Yongqi strode in, looking tentatively at Xiaoyanzi, who was standing at the hallway, next to Huai Yu.
"Tai Huang Zu Nai Nai ji xiang." Yongqi greeted.
Huai Yu looked at him and inclined her head to Xiaoyanzi.
Yongqi then turned his attention to his beloved wife, looking at her apprehensively. She held his gaze, their eyes communicating information beyond words. He then stretched out his hand towards her, with a questioning look.
She looked at his hand, took a deep breathe, and slowly took hold of it.
"Come home, Xiaoyanzi." Yongqi murmured softly.
"Ok." Xiaoyanzi gave him a small smile. That was all Yongqi needed.
He looked at Huai Yu, with much gratefulness in his eyes. "Tai Huang Zu Nai Nai, Yongqi can never express how grateful I am for your love, help and intervention."
Huai Yu smiled dotingly on him. "Go on, go home, both of you."
Back at Jing Yang Gong, Yongqi quickly pulled Xiaoyanzi into their private room and shut the door. "Oh Xiaoyanzi, you have no idea how concerned and worried I was, and how I missed you so." He hugged her tightly. To his amazement, she didn't struggle or push him away or flare up in anger. Instead, she said softly, "I missed you too."
"Xiaoyanzi!" Yongqi looked up, trying to keep tears from falling. "I am so so sorry. I have no idea how to make it up to you…."
"Yongqi, I've thought it through. It's ok. I love you. That's all that matters." Xiaoyanzi said.
Yongqi pulled back and looked at her eyes puzzled, which were glistening with tears. This was not the Xiaoyanzi he knew.
"I….I had time to think things through, and to weigh what is important to me and what isn't. What are my priorities." Xiaoyanzi explained. "You and Huang Ah Ma gave me love so freely. I can't help but love back. I can't let my past stop me."
"Xiaoyanzi, listen, I have been doing a lot of thinking too. I have decided to leave with you, and Qing'er. I don't want you to end up like Zu Nai Nai, living alone in the palace after Tai Huang Ye Ye passed. I don't even want to subject you to the workings of the inner palace, and to have to put up with the other court ladies. I want to be free of this place, and live life happily with you." Yongqi said seriously.
"What?" Xiaoyanzi whispered.
"Yes, I have spoken to Huang Ah Ma already and he has given his permission."
"But what about your future? The people? Your duty? You will make such a great Emperor!" Xiaoyanzi was stunned. She had actually prepared to settle into life in the palace and was resigned to it. She recognised now how good Yongqi would be for the country, and was willing to sacrifice. Listening to Huai Yu had helped her think through plenty of things.
"That is not what I want. It demands too much sacrifice from me and you which I am not willing to give. There are many other good candidates from the other princes Huang Ah Ma can elect. I sincerely doubt I would be a good Emperor in any case – I am too governed by my emotions." Yongqi said wryly.
"Are we being selfish then?" Xiaoyanzi asked quietly. Secretly, she was overjoyed because she was seriously not looking forward to continue staying in the palace, especially if she was to expect Yongqi to marry other wives and eventually end up as possibly the next Emperor. She feared given her temper, she wouldn't be able to handle all that was required. Already, she was struggling so much. But, Yongqi was her life now, that she realised that. She wouldn't pull him away from his duty. After one of many Huai Yu's sharings, she realised if she left, Yongqi would face great stress taking on the burden and would be miserable to rest of his life. So for his sake, and the country's, she would stay.
Yongqi's face broke into one of the hugest smiles he ever had as he realised Xiaoyanzi had finally considered them to be one – that they made decisions together. They are not separate individuals making independent decisions anymore, but one entity, joint by the love they shared and in marriage.
"No, I don't think so. The country will continue on, and we can always do something to contribute to helping Huang Ah Ma from a grassroots level." Yongqi assured her. "Let's not waste anymore time feeling guilty or obligated to other people, alright? Let us be free to live."
Xiaoyanzi suddenly let out a squeal of delight and bounded around the room, dragging Yongqi with her! "Yongqi! You are the best! I love you! I really really do!"
Yongqi heaved a sigh a relief, grinning. He was so not used to the quiet Xiaoyanzi, and shuddered to think how she would change if they continued staying in the palace. Now seeing Xiaoyanzi regain her laugher and energy, he knew he made the right decision and he, like her, felt a burden lift off his shoulders.
Xiaoyanzi suddenly had the idea to also ask Huai Yu if she wanted to leave with them. "What else do you have here?" Xiaoyanzi persuaded. "Come with us and see the outside world. You have us now! We will take care of you properly, Zu Nai Nai!"
Huai Yu, seeing the logic and feeling the surge of excitement and anticipation of finally really leaving the Palace, agreed. Xuan Ye, I am finally leaving. You told me to find my happiness, and I am, after all these years. I know you are watching out for me, as always. She thought silently, feeling truly happy.
Lao Fuo Ye was none too pleased that Yongqi and Qing'er was leaving, but glad that the Grand Empress Dowager and Xiaoyanzi would be gone. She now knew she could not force Yongqi to do anything. Zhi Hua was secretly furious at how things turned out and, broken hearted too. She was infatuated with Yongqi and could not understand why he was not attracted to her. And Gui Mo Mo, who thought she could be protected by the Grand Empress Dowager, soon found herself at the mercy of Lao Fuo Ye, who had no tolerance for traitors. The Emperor, while sad and reluctant that he had to depart from his beloved daughter and son, comforted himself by knowing that this was for the best – they would be safe and happy.
As for Xiaoyanzi, Yongqi, Xiao Jian, Qing'er, Huai Yu and Qing Qing, they left Beijing (though they were very reluctant to leave Erkang and Ziwei and their friends behind) to wander the country, taking their time to make their way to Dali where Xiaojian's godparents lived. There, they would make a family, and Huai Yu would finally get to see the rest of her Xuan Ye's Empire, with great grand children who made life so much more alive and exciting.
-End-
*The pronunciation of 傅 is different from 福, which is Erkang's surname, although both sound similar. Hence the reason why Yongqi immediately knew Huai Yu was related to Fu Heng and not Fu Lun.
A/N: I have always wanted Huai Yu and Xiaoyanzi to meet back then when I was watching both shows in the early 2000s as they are very alike, except that Huai Yu had the benefits of having a proper education as she grew up in a noble family. The idea of having a Grand Empress Dowager was from the series Huai Yu Gong Zhu, and I was thinking, what if Huai Yu became the Grand Empress Dowager (GED) for Xiaoyanzi in Qian Long's era? She could help Xiaoyanzi the way Kang Xi's GED did. I know the age is probably a far stretch…but given how early people had children back then, it is possible for Huai Yu to be in her seventies or eighties. And because of her optimistic and spirited personality, I doubt she would be ill or sickly. Anyway, this is just a fan fiction and how I see things would have played out if Huai Yu was able to intervene and prevent Yongqi from marrying Zhihua, eliminating the whole dragging out of the "revenge saga" and the birth of Mian Yi via Zhihua. I am writing with the assumption that readers have watched or know the HZGG3 storyline, hence I didn't go into much detail of that portion of the story. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this!