Leland lowered his umbrella and wiped his feet as he stood on the welcome mat just outside the Monks' front door. Seeing Adrian's car parked under the carport, he assumed Natalie's was in the gorge given the hour was still early. He rang the doorbell and stood there long enough that he almost gave up hope, until a bleary-eyed Adrian opened the door.

"Oh, Leland. It's you." He mumbled before turning around and shuffling back into the interior of the house.

Leland let himself in the door and looked around as he followed Adrian into the living room.

"T.K. made blueberry muffins this morning. Thought you all would like them for breakfast. Is Natalie still sleeping?" he asked.

Monk sat down in his chair and shrugged. "Who knows? She's not here."

Leland tilted his head. "Early start?"

"What?"

"It's only eight-thirty. I was asking if she had an early start."

Monk shook his head. "No. She didn't stay here last night. Couldn't stand to be around me. Heck, I can't stand to be around me."

Leland took in a deep breath and sat down laying the bag of muffins on Monk's credenza. "What happened?"

Monk ran his hand through his hair. "What always happens. Me. I happened."

"You? What did you do?"

"Oh… I was supposed to do something that was important to her and I was somewhere else. I don't blame her for being – disappointed in me. I am a disappointment. But on the flip side, what I was doing was important too."

"Oh, boy." Leland said, under his breath. "Want to talk about it?"

Monk stopped and looked at him for the longest time then lowered his gaze, shaking his head no.

Leland patted him on the shoulder. "Listen, Monk. I've been around you for so long that I practically know you like the back of my hand. I know you're struggling right now. I wish you'd let me help."

Adrian looked up at Leland through tired misty eyes. "I know you want to help, Leland, but what needs to be fixed, you can't fix. I mean, I tried and what I was trying…it didn't work out. Now the work is in here." He said, pointing to his forehead. "And that work's on me."

"Are you feeling better?" Julie asked as her mother made her way into the kitchen.

"I'm okay." she said, walking over the refrigerator and pulling out a carton of milk.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Julie asked. "I mean, I know he can sometimes be difficult – but ever since he got out of the hospital, you two have been doing great."

Natalie poured herself a glass of milk and returned the carton then sat down at Julie's island. "That's the thing. He's not being difficult – not in the normal sense that he can be difficult. He's really been pretty wonderful with everything he's trying to do."

"Then what?" Julie asked.

Natalie took a sip from her glass and became lost in thought.

"Does it have to do with Lee and Abby getting into school?" she asked.

Natalie smiled and shook her head. The visit to the children's school seemed so long ago, now, even though it had only been a couple of weeks. "No, sweetie. It's something else that we've just got to work through. We'll be okay." She took another drink of milk.

Julie folded her arms in front of her. "Well, if you're not going to tell me I will just have to guess. Whatever it is has something to do with something you wanted him to do but he didn't do it, probably because he didn't feel comfortable."

Natalie twisted her mouth to the side with amusement at her daughter's accurate read of the situation. "Not bad. What else?" she said.

Julie grinned that she had gotten it at least partially right. "And when he didn't do it, that hurt you and you had to get away for a few days so he could think about whatever it was that he didn't do."

Natalie laughed. "Pretty good. You know us well."

"I should. I've only spent the past sixteen years of my life watching you two go at it with each other. You're never actually mean to one another, but sometimes you do disagree and drop back into your own default ways of behavior and that gets in the way of you actually communicating."

Natalie furrowed her brow. "Default ways? What do you mean?"

"What I mean is the way both of you learned to live your life independently before you were married. When you lived with grandma and grandpa, you had that independent streak that only grew when you met my dad number one. He was always at sea and you had me and you essentially had to make all the decisions on your own. Then, he died and it truly was all on you. You took care of me and a house and earned the money to feed us. You even took care of dad number2."

"He needed my help."

"Yes, he did. But he wasn't always that way. In fact, he is the same as you, except his issues go back to childhood. Think about it. When dad was growing up, he took care of uncle Ambrose, he took care of his mother and he even had to take care of himself from the time he was eight. And, he did it all as he always does everything like that, with a sense of great responsibility.

Trudy comes along and he takes care of her."

"As much as he could. But Trudy kept secrets, mostly to protect him I'm sure." Natalie said. "She never told him about Ethan."

"Because she knew what he would have done. He probably would have killed the man if he knew what Rickover was planning."

"Yeah. I'm sure you're right."

"I know I am. And then, she dies and suddenly he finds that he's the one needing to be taken care of. Put yourself in his shoes, how horrible that would have felt. Your whole life you've survived all sorts of obstacles and now in an instant you're basically catatonic in your living room having lost the job you loved and feeling like you failed to protect the one person in your entire life that you knew loved you and that you loved more than life.

He pretty much lost himself - until he met you.

And that's where you two are today. On your own, you both are loving and caring people who want to do what's best for each other and for your family and when you butt heads it's typically because one of you, mostly him but sometimes you, are falling into that old pattern of behavior. You generally have the same end goal in mind and its never done with bad motivation – it's just who you are. And face it, at 60 years old, you're probably not going to change that in him. However, he's very smart and loves you with all of his heart so just being aware of it, maybe you can both recognize when it happens and learn to work together to do whatever it is you want to happen."

Natalie mused at how grown up her daughter had become. "That's very astute. Where did you learn all of this?" she asked.

Julie smiled and reached underneath the counter pulling out a book on psychology. "From this."

Natalie looked at the cover. "Psychology? Is that an old textbook?"

"Yeah." She replied. "But, I'm actually considering going back to school to study it."

"Really?"

"Yes. I figure with everything our family has been through, I've practically earned a doctorate in it anyway. Might as well make it official."

Leland left Adrian's side around ten fifteen feeling even more worried about his friend than he had before. He couldn't get him to talk and that bothered him. In his heart, he had an inkling what might be wrong and having had a child with Karen who lived only a few weeks after childbirth, he knew the struggles a father faced when something was wrong with a child and he couldn't fix it. But, he knew Monk had to come to him with the issue and that he couldn't press. And so, he busied himself with whatever he could in the meantime.

After Leland went away, Adrian decided that it would be counterproductive for him to sit around the house moping all day so he decided to take a walk. When the walk didn't shut off his mind, he called Joseph Keita in order to learn more about the case and what possible charges Ianovsky could be facing. It took about forty-five minutes, but he arrived at Joseph's house south of Quincy at a little after one o'clock.

As he pulled up to the single story 1960s brick house, it reminded him of a Frank Lloyd Wright design – a modern retreat in the middle of lush wooded land that somehow blended in. Parking his car in their circular driveway, Monk was greeted at the door by Keita's wife Cynthia, a lovely woman with long brown hair and a tan complexion that he adjudged was of Hispanic or possibly Native American descent.

"Hello, Adrian! Come on in. Joseph is in his study." She said, walking him toward the back of the house. "Can I take your coat?"

Monk nodded and handed Cynthia his jacket and then walked into Joseph's office which was filled from floor to ceiling with a veritable library on a huge variety of subjects. Monk was awestruck as he entered the room, barely paying Joseph any attention at all.

"You like books, I see." Keita said with a smile.

Monk turned to him and nodded. "Yes. I do."

"Ah, Adrian Monk. I knew you were a man after my own heart. Come in my friend, make yourself comfortable. I've been looking into some of the research that Dr. Church has been doing on reviving the Wooly Mammoth and the science, while quite amazing, doesn't seem to be where it would need to be in order to bring a dead human back to life. In fact, I'm not sure that would ever be entirely possible."

"Really? Is that because a person's personality and knowledge isn't transferred via genes?" Monk asked, sitting down.

"Precisely so." Keita replied. "The work of Dr. Church and his team is using CRISPR to embed the traits, such as hair and layers of fat, of Wooly Mammoths into Asian Elephants, since they are genetically quite close. The hope is that they can revive the species and perhaps place them in the colder regions of the tundra in order to renew the ecosystem that existed when the mammoth was alive."

"But, why? Because they can?" Monk asked.

"No. Actually, for several reasons, one of which is to combat climate change. Of course, there are some great learnings to be had as well. But, the point is, what they are doing would not be conducive to say – bringing a long dead human back to life."

Monk thought for a moment. "What about their traits?"

"If you mean a person's phenotypical expression of their genetic makeup, i.e., how they looked, musculature…"

"Intelligence?" Monk said. "For example, I know that when Albert Einstein died, they stole his brain without his or his family's prior permission. That brain was later cut up into over two hundred pieces and sent to researchers around the world. Dr. Ianovsky had a bust of Einstein in his office, so he's obviously a devotee. What if he were to get one of those brain segments, extract the DNA…"

"And CRISPR it into another human being?" Joseph asked. "I'm not a scientist, but it seems like a reasonable thing to consider. Having another human of Einstein's intelligence would be a phenomenal achievement."

"Having an army of humans with his intelligence would be unimaginable." Monk replied.

"Yes, it would. Whoever held those powers would be regarded as a god." Joseph noted.

"Lord, what fools these mortals be." Monk replied, shaking his head.

"You know Shakespeare." Keita said with a knowing grin. "Yes, indeed. History tells us many a tale of men who as my daughter says, 'refused to stay in their swim lane.' Disaster was the inevitable result."

"Well, this is one disaster we're going to stop, if I have anything to say about it." Monk replied.

"I like your thinking, Mr. Monk. And stop it, we shall."

Steve Rock stopped by the hospital to execute the warrant that the judge had signed off for Simon Cass's medical records. He dropped the papers off to Leland at the agency that same afternoon. The file was extensive, and so Rock, Stottlemeyer and Disher all took turns at reading through the information.

"Listen to this. This guy was a walking drug store." Rock said. "In the last two years of his life he was taking dexamethasone, Thalidomide, chlorpromazine, Depo Provera, Ranitidine and Prozac at different points in time."

"Depo Provera? Isn't that a woman's birth control shot?" Randy asked. "Sharona was given…um, information about that once upon a time…for someone else. You don't think Cass was wanting to become a woman, was he?"

Leland smirked. "No, Randy. Cass wasn't trying to become a woman. He was a sex offender and one of the ways they treat repeat sex offenders medically is sometimes through the use of hormones that suppress their…suppress…their maleness."

"Maleness?"

"Yeah. Through anti-testosterone agents such as Depo Provera which is a female hormone. In short, chemical castration." Rock said.

"Okay, then…" Randy said, crossing his legs and shuffling his papers. "What about the others? I've heard of Ranitidine."

"That's basically just Zantac. They took it off the market recently because it's supposed to cause cancer. That could be what some of these other drugs are for. I think they are for people who have cancer."

"And Chlorpomazine is the same as Thorazine. I know that from a case we had in the 90s where this guy went crazy on the job." Leland added. "It's an anti-psychotic."

"Yeah, they sometimes give it to mental patients. But it's also used sometimes on sex offenders. Makes them docile." Rock replied.

"So, they were essentially trying to modify Cass's deviant behavior?" Randy asked.

"Yeah. Probably in preparation for his release." Rock replied.

"Which was expedited because he had cancer?" Leland said.

"Perhaps." Rock said. "But I truly don't get that. Guys in the pen get cancer all the time. We don't release them for it."

"So, maybe he had a special arrangement." Randy suggested.

"Maybe." Rock replied.

"Who was his doctor?" Leland asked.

Randy flipped through the papers then stopped. A slight grin appeared on his face. "You need to sit down for this one."

"I am sitting down, Randy? Who?" Leland replied.

"I was talking to Steve." Randy responded.

"I'm okay." Rock replied. "Who is it?"

"No, I think you need to sit down." Randy replied.

Rock looked at Leland who motioned with his head while rolling his eyes.

Once Rock was seated, Randy passed the paper to Leland who read it.

"Isn't that Monk's doctor?" he asked.

Randy nodded. "Yes. Sharona has told me all about him. He helped when Monk's immune system shut down. Works hand in hand with oncology."

"So, he works with cancer patients, too?" Rock said. "I guess that would make sense. Seems like someone we should talk to."

"No, wait." Leland said. "Adrian Monk sees him all the time. Let's wait until he's in the office again and we'll send him in to do the investigation."

"Yeah. That'll be perfect." Randy replied. "He won't suspect a thing."

The afternoon wore on and the longer they worked the more distant Keita noticed Adrian becoming. At first, throwing himself into work was exactly the elixir that he needed to shut his mind off from his troubles with Natalie – but its effects were all too temporal. Soon, he was picturing Natalie's face as she stood in their hallway expressing her disappointment. And then, his mind drifted to the conference and what a total bust it had been in terms of finding a 'cure' for their son. He had disappointed Natalie and didn't even save the day. It was very depressing.

Around three thirty, Keita stopped what he was doing and looked over at Monk. Reaching over, he placed his hand on the scientific report that Adrian was reading and lowered it to the table.

"What's wrong?" Monk asked.

"Nothing's wrong, with me." Joseph replied. "What's wrong with you?"

Monk faked a chuckle. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong with me. Why would you say something's wrong with me?"

"Because you were reading that paper upside down." Keita responded.

Monk looked down at the document and discovered what Keita said was true. "I…I do that sometimes…you know….just to…um…provide a little variety. It increases the challenge."

Keita smiled softly. "Mr. Monk. You're a terrible liar."

Adrian sighed.

"Talking about it might help. I know you are disturbed about something." Joseph said.

"I am. But, I can't talk about it. Not even to my best friend. He offered to talk earlier today. But, I couldn't even talk to him."

"He's probably too close." Keita said. "You and I, we just met. I have no preconceptions about you or your life other than you are a smart man who loves his work. Perhaps talking to a near stranger would be better."

Monk considered what he was saying.

"It's not healthy to keep the pain inside." Joseph said. "Believe me, I know."

Adrian was silent for a couple of minutes longer and Keita wisely gave him space to think. He was about to despair of his new friend sharing anything when Monk finally spoke.

"My wife walked out on me last night." He said quietly.

Joseph furrowed his brow. "Oh. I thought things were good between you and Mrs. Monk. She's going to have a baby soon, isn't she?"

"Yes." Adrian replied. "She's seven months along. And, things are good. I couldn't ask for a better spouse."

Joseph nodded. "Then why did she leave?"

Monk shuffled in his seat and looked down at his hands. "Well…she didn't leave for good. She never does. Just for a few days."

"Okay. Sort of getting some space in the relationship. Cynthia and I do that occasionally."

"You do?" Monk asked.

"Yes. Except it's scheduled time away. As much as we compliment one another we are very different people; and, I know that you can't tell it by looking at me, but I'm not always the easiest person to live with." Joseph smiled. "So, she'll go off to a retreat once or twice a year with her sister in Oklahoma. And I like to go fly fishing a couple of times a year with my friend from Nairobi. It doesn't mean we don't love each other. It just means we need a recharge."

Monk smiled sadly and nodded his understanding but he didn't seem helped.

Joseph lowered his chin. "This is not just a recharge?" he asked.

Monk shook his head and sighed. "I'm afraid not. She left because she needed me to think about how I've been acting lately, because I had disappointed her. I, uh…we…we got some news a couple of weeks ago and I'm afraid I've kind of been engaging in wishful thinking that it wouldn't be true. And, while I've been pursuing this…wishful thinking, I've left her feeling unsupported and that's the last thing that I would ever want to do. She's supported me through…everything. But, I got so wrapped up in my own worries about the situation and trying to fix it that I forgot she has worries too."

Joseph shook his head. "I see. You were self-absorbed."

Monk shook his head no. "I wouldn't even say self-absorbed. I would say I was consumed with the thought of making a bad situation better – a situation that I feel like I am somewhat to blame for. It's my own personal curse."

"Your curse?" Keita asked.

"Yes." Monk looked off to the side as pain etched his face. "My mother…my mother was not a loving mother. She did what she could, I suppose, but she also said some things that were painful. But now, I'm thinking that maybe…she was right after all. I pressed my luck one time too many and…"

"Mr. Monk. Please tell me what is bothering you." Keita said. "For your sake. Let it out."

Adrian turned to look at Joseph whose eyes were full of compassion. He closed his own and tears rolled down his cheek. He took a deep breath.

"Natalie and I were at the doctor a couple of weeks ago for a sonogram. While we were there, the doctor discovered that our son, our unborn son, he has a congenital heart defect. It's called Atrial Septal Defect. Anyway, they sent us to a heart specialist a week later and he and this woman doctor told us that the defect was secondary to…it was secondary to um, Mosaicism, which is a form of Down Syndrome." Monk paused at the enormity at having said the words, but then continued. "Which is why I went to the conference. My mother told me before I married Trudy…"

"Trudy?"

"She was my first wife. I'll have to tell you about her later, but you would have loved her. Everyone loved Trudy. She died in a car bomb."

Keita's mouth dropped open but he had no time to reconcile the last two, seemingly incongruous, statements because Monk was still sharing. "Anyway, Mom told me the day I married Trudy that I should take special care that Trudy and I should never have children because I was cursed and if I had children that my babies would be cursed too. I told Natalie I didn't believe in curses and intellectually I don't see how they could possibly be true – but…"

Keita drew up his hand. "Mr. Monk excuse me for interrupting, but is that what you really think? Do you think that your special needs child is a curse?"

Monk's eyes grew wide with horror. "No! No, not at all. He's just a baby. A precious, innocent baby who doesn't deserve to have me as a father."

Keita closed his eyes. "Adrian! Adrian Monk!"

"Huh?"

"For such a brilliant soul, you are a mixed-up man!" he laughed.

Monk looked confused. "Now, Keita…I don't think you understand what I'm saying."

Keita smiled and pushed his chair away from his desk. "Come!" he motioned with his hand. "Come with me. We're going to take a ride."

Monk tilted his head? "A ride? Where are we going?"

"You will see." Keita replied as he left the room.

Natalie picked up the kids from her parent's house and they spent the afternoon with Julie, playing and talking and telling stories that the children would enjoy of things their parents had done together. For three-year old's, both children's understanding was well beyond their years and occasionally they would chime in with something about their mother acting funny or their father acting weird to the point that oft times their commentary and observations were funnier than the stories themselves.

Around four-thirty, story time had ended and Natalie was sitting on Julie's couch watching her little ones play in the floor while rubbing her tummy. She loved moments like this where she had all of her babies with her and yet the moment just didn't seem right. While those she was looking at were most definitely family and irrevocably connected to her soul, it wasn't 'the family' without Adrian there. Could it be that she couldn't even be gone for 24 hours without missing him so terribly that she needed to return?

She sighed as Julie came in with a cup of tea.

"Getting tired?" Julie asked.

"No." Natalie said. "Was just thinking about your dad. Dad number2, that is."

"I knew who you were talking about." Julie responded. "You going to try to call him?"

Natalie shook her head. "Nope. I'm going to gather my things and go back home. What you said was right. We are both trying to get to the same goal through different paths. We need to work on this together and whatever happens, it needs to be mutually worked out and agreed upon."

Julie nodded with gratification that her talk had truly helped.

"Well, give him a hug for me and tell him not to be so much of a butthead next time!"

"Oh, I'm not going to do that!" Natalie replied. "I'd have to spend the next fifteen minutes hearing about how it is physically impossible for one to indeed be a butt head." She laughed then got ready to go.

Joseph and Adrian got into his vehicle and drove south on Highway 3A for about 20 minutes until they reached a town that was oh too familiar. Monk remained silent as they travelled roads that Keita was very familiar with and swallowed when he saw their destination – the House of Hope Learning Center. It had to be a dream.

Parking the car in visitor parking, Joseph looked around once he was outside of the car and then smiled. He turned to Adrian.

"Follow me, my friend. There is someone I would like for you to meet."

The two walked past the Victorian Mansion and the newer building until the found themselves outside the ball fields. A team of kids in uniforms were engaging in spring practice, throwing balls, running bases and doing exercises to the degree they were able. All were busy doing something, even if it was polishing balls. Monk could tell that great effort was made to make sure that every child belonged.

Joseph walked straight past the first field to the second where an actual game was being played. From a distance, it appeared like any other little league game he'd ever seen but as he drew closer, he could tell this game was different. A young man at home plate was standing through the use of a walker and an adult assistant stood behind him helping him with the bat. The first base umpire was in a wheelchair as was a young man in center field. The pitcher wore very thick strap on glasses and appeared to Monk to have many of the features of having Down Syndrome.

The crack of the bat snapped Monk to attention and he watched as the ball flew low and then rolled in the grass past second base. Both teams of players cheered the little boy known as "Andy" as he rolled his walker through faltering steps and made his way to first base. The second baseman left his post and he and the shortstop both went after the same ball. He stopped when the first base coach directed him to get back to his spot and the shortstop picked up the ball and threw it to the first baseman. The first baseman caught the ball, but not in time to tag the runner out.

The first base umpire yelled, "Safe!"

Monk and Keita took a seat in the stands and watched the rest of the inning play out. Andy didn't quite make it to home but he and his team mates didn't care because it was the first time he made it to the bases so far that year and he made it to third. The teams called a brief stretch break and that was when Joseph stood.

"Come." He motioned as they walked towards the dugout where the team was receiving bottles of water. Joseph tapped the first base umpire on the shoulder and then drew Monk in by his arm. The umpire turned in her wheelchair and removed her mask, looked at Monk with a confused look and smiled.

"You!" Monk gasped as he immediately recognized the girl.

"Adrian Monk, I would like for you to meet my lovely and somewhat rambunctious daughter, Samantha Keita. Sam, I understand that you have already met Mr. Monk outside the CRISPR conference?"