Chapter 37

Part 1 - 12/26/2022

Living alone was difficult in the beginning. It still is but it doesn't feel as lonely as before now that she's taking classes and Jen seems to be always available when she wants to talk. Jen doesn't live here but her daily messages made her feel like she's not alone. Sometimes, she would get a sad face emoji with a chocolate soft swirl next to it in the morning which means it's that time of the month and sometimes she would get riddles that would make her laugh because she didn't realize it was a dirty joke until the answer is given. But as funny as Jen can be, her messages sometimes can be so depressing.

Asian 80 year old grandma got punched in the face by a white dude in broad daylight in Chinatown

What! New York City always has a high crime rate but lately, there's a surge especially in hate crimes. Jen is right. More people are becoming cult-like. More crazies are coming out. Racists are no longer afraid of showing their unacceptable behavior in public because they feel they're given permission to do so. It would take decades to undo what that traitorous pig did.

Heard about the rape?

What? Again? Brie immediately got off the treadmill after getting another message, then regretted doing it so fast after feeling a little dizzy. This always happens. Just need a moment to balance. Okay. Don't run. Walk…slowly. There's no need to be fast but there is a need to be upset.

"Did you go out last night?"

As nice as the hotel is, it wouldn't help to stay another night. Letting her stay here is to see if it would help her remember and to look after her but now is looking like a bad idea.

"Did you try to break into her apartment?"

It might not be her since there are many crazies obsessed with the megastar, so crazy they would risk getting caught just to get into her residence even though they know there would be surveillance cameras everywhere. This Hope doesn't seem like one of them but Riley did say the old Hope asked for the megastar because she thought the megastar works for her. Crazy. It seems that this Hope isn't that much different. Did she get her memory back? Because she's not answering the question and going wherever she pleases. "Where're you going?" It's freezing out and "How did you get that?" She has lots of cuts and bruises but not on the back of her hand. Was it there this morning? Her coat wasn't ripped last night either. "Please…tell me you didn't." The old Hope would've denied it. This one apologized. No, no, nnno. "You crazy!" Brie said, immediately regretting it since it could trigger a crazy person to do something even more crazy. Hope didn't but leaving doesn't mean this is the end. "Fuck." If they find out it's her, it's going to lead to me. Then millions will know. Anything involving the megastar will get millions of viewers. He's not going to like this. He's going to yell at me. He's going to…

Brie stopped pressing the number on the phone after getting another thought.

He'll send someone to kill her. He did it before. He'll do it again. No one will know if she's dead. Oh no. What do I do? What do I do?

(phone vibration)

Brie hurriedly head out after putting the coat on and taking the necessities without responding to Jen's text since catching up with Hope is more important and Jen has a very good point. It would take them forever to find out who did it especially now with the surge in crimes. There aren't enough cops and they've been letting them out because there aren't enough jails so the same ones do it again and again. She better not do it again.

Shoot. Missed it. It's too late to get to Hope but not too late to see where she went. Calling for a taxi now is going to be too late but looks like there's no need to. There's one coming. Hurry. Hope he's not picking up someone else. He's not. Good. "straight ahead" Brie said to the taxi driver after closing the door. Yes, that is strange. No questions were asked but he probably will later. There it is. "Follow that yellow taxi." There's a car behind Hope's so hopefully there's no yellow light because that's all it will take to lose her. With the sky getting darker and many other yellow taxi cabs and cars, it will get more difficult to follow if she keeps going. Where is she going? Where is everybody going? Why are there still so many people hanging out in this freezing cold night? Is that guy live streaming? They say New Yorkers are crazy. They're right. "Nno, don't let him." Ugh. It seems that this taxi driver is not from New York because if he is, he wouldn't have let anyone cut in front of him. He would've honked at the car multiple times and cursed, yet this guy did nothing. Did he not understand the instructions given? Oh great. Now Hope is nowhere in sight since it just took a left turn before the yellow turned to red.

Brie blew out a frustrated breath while glaring at the taxi driver whom she didn't think could see since he didn't turn his head but he did see, probably from the rear view mirror or maybe he heard the frustration because he just made a damn good suggestion. He knows who's driving Hope's taxi.

"I gall heem nowl, ogay? Duong wellwee. Ogay?"

"okay, thank you." Brie said, feeling better than a moment ago and quickly added "Don't let him know I'm following him. "

"ogay ogay"

Oh good. He understood. Let's hope the other taxi driver is smart enough not to say anything that would let Hope know that she's being followed. If she knows, she might changed to another taxi. But looks like there's no way she would know since he's not speaking in English. It didn't take long for him to hang up but what did he just say? "Where?"

"I dig you dair"

It took a few turns to realize what he meant. That's because he said park and there are many parks around here. This is West St. This is the way to the Hudson River Park. (gasp) No, no, no. What is wrong with her? Many things are wrong. She's different. She's not who she used to be. She's quiet but she's obviously not clueless since she's able to trick Riley and she's smart enough to…ohh…fuck. She's not well so she doesn't know how to cope with what Hope was dealing with so she…"Is it here? He got off here?"

"yea yea, be gatful, wellwee danjous, ogay?"

"I know." Believe me. I know. Brie thanked him again after paying him extra. Twenty bucks isn't a lot but he deserves it. Better hurry before it gets too dark to see. There are still people. More people is good but a group of 4 guys hanging around could mean trouble. Why aren't there any cops here? There were plenty back there where road work are being done. This city makes no sense. These two don't either. The view with the city lights, sky scraper and the river is beautiful but this isn't the right place to cuddle. Get a room. Where are you, Hope? Is that her? No. She wouldn't want to be anywhere near these two or anyone. She'd want to be alone where no one would be able to...(gasp)

Brie quickly ran without bothering to look on the other side where other people are standing since she's been here before. This is Pier 45. Many like to come here because there is no playground and only a large area of grass in the middle where people can lie on to relax, a few trees and tables, chairs, canopies and seating area along the railing. The best place to be is at the end of the walkway where it has one of the best views of the sky, Hudson River and New Jersey but some didn't come here for the views, they came to be alone, to think, to relax, and to… "Hope!" Brie called out even though she's not sure if that's her since it's too far and too dark to see without the light pole near that area but it's the only way to get her attention if that is her. It is and it seems that her voice was drowned out by the city noise and the wind since Hope didn't turn back to look. There's no time to call out again. She's already on the other side of the railing and looking down at the river. Grab her before she notices. Too late. She noticed. Got you. "Don't you dare die on me. Hope wouldn't do this. She made mistakes too but she's not a coward and she owes me a favor so you better get back in here right now." The plan was to grab her, then pull her back in but it's more difficult than she thought so hopefully adding "I need you" will get her to

"What you doin?"

For someone who's about to commit suicide wouldn't ask that but if that's not what she was planning to do, then "What you doin?" Brie asks in the same confused tone, breathing loudly to catch her breath.

"feeding the fish"

What? This isn't summertime. This isn't daytime. She's as bad a liar as the old Hope.

"stop following me"

And as rude…and unbelievably stupid. She may be smart to put the fake beard back on but doesn't she know cops are looking for him or does she think they're useless too? "Where're you going?" Ignoring me isn't going to work. "How long do you think you can survive on your own?" For someone who can't remember who she is, she sure has more confidence than someone who does. "Do you think you're invulnerable? Your cuts need to be taken care of. You can't just leave it like that. You can die if you don't take care of it." Everyone is stubborn. She's more stubborn than the old Hope. "Ceepa! Congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis.C.I.P.A." Brie said while knowing that it might not stop her from walking away but it worked. "It's a genetic disorder. That's why you can't feel pain but it doesn't mean you can't die. You can easily die. Those cuts on your butt, you didn't know about it until you collapsed that night, you could've died if I wasn't with you." It's rare. It exists. Sadly, there's no cure. "Your face is freezing right now. You can't feel it, can you?" There's no need to feel her face. Anyone without a scarf would. A mask isn't going to help much. "And that's not all you have. You're addicted to"

(Hope's phone is ringing)

Whoever it was and whatever was said must be urgent because now she's hurrying to get out of here. It can't be Riley. She doesn't trust her. Ask later but this can't wait. "You remembered the password?" There's no need to have Cole find out how if she can. "You remember me?" Why didn't she say so if she can? "Where're you going?"

"Go home. Okay?"

No, she doesn't remember. The old Hope wouldn't say it in that tone and wouldn't use the last word. She wouldn't leave me here in the middle of the night to get my own taxi either. She would do anything to protect me to make sure I'm safe.

Brie forced her way inside the taxi after Hope got in, then immediately held onto her arm to prevent her from getting off which was a stupid plan but it worked surprisingly, probably because Hope didn't want to make a scene in front of the taxi driver or she's in a hurry or both. But why would she want to go to the W Café? Questions will have to wait since there's no need for the taxi driver to know. Getting to the destination didn't take long. Getting another apology is as unexpected as the last two times but if she thinks I would let her go by herself, she's out of her mind. Brie quickly got off the taxi after paying the driver, then quickly realized that Hope's intended destination isn't the Café. It's across the street, the Langham Hotel. Was she just trying to get rid of me because now she's in no hurry.

"You don't need to worry about me. Okay? Go home."

There's the four letter word again. That's like asking for permission. The old Hope wouldn't ask for permission. The old Hope would know why I would be worried. She would be walking like a normal person, not looking around like a tourist. This is a tourist area but there aren't many nowadays and no tourist would be out at this hour without a companion. What is she doing? Going home is no longer an option. Interruption is now necessary before it's too late.

Brie pulled her away from the car before saying "shut up and act surprised." Anyone who's not expecting a hug would be surprised but a hug might not be enough to convince others. A kiss will. Another kiss will make it more believable. It seems to have confused Hope too. Explain later. Now let's go to the hotel before the others decide to cross the street. Don't look. Just go. Why is she stopping? Standing here in the hotel lobby without any luggage is going to cause suspicion. "Didn't you book a room?" No? Was she expecting the prostitute to? Find out later. Get a room first before the cops outside decide to come in to check. It didn't take long. There's no line. There are plenty of rooms. No one wants to be in a hotel these days if there's no need to. No one except those who can't control their addiction.

Yell at her later. Bathroom first. This is nice but as nice as this bathroom is, one thousand dollars for 2 nights is ridiculous. Discounted my ass. A free upgrade to a suite shouldn't even cost this much. Now he's going to want to know why. It's because the toilet is broken. Broken heater? Would he believe the apartment is infested with lice? Mice? Think about it later. Now it's more important to find out "What were you doing?" Brie asked after getting out of the bathroom. That wasn't the question she wanted to ask before she went in but after having a moment to think, it would be wrong to accuse her even though it looked obvious. "Hey!" Brie followed. Questions can wait but there's no need to wait to tell her even if she is in the bathroom since she needs to know what she did wrong. Not only did she look like a car thief because she was looking at one car after another, she stopped to talk to a woman in the car who's either a prostitute or working undercover because there was a guy in another car across the street looking at them. "I know you don't remember but here, buying sex is illegal! She could be an undercover cop! She could be infected! You can't feel pain but you can get sick!" She should be able to hear that even with the water running. Is she taking a shower? "You can't get your wounds wet! I didn't bring anything!" Maybe there's a first aid kit here. If there is, it would be inside the bathroom or…the cabinets.

There are none in the cabinets but the hotel has basic first aid kit supplies and dinner came before Hope finished taking a shower that lasted so long, she needs to be told to get out of there. A shower shouldn't take 30 minutes especially for someone with short hair. It would be impossible to keep the wounds from getting wet without wrapping it with plastic first but it seems that she doesn't care since she went right to the table to eat. She can't feel pain. She can't feel temperature. Can she taste? She obviously can feel hunger but she's also drinking the red wine like it's water. Find out later. This is more important. Now that she's been doing things that she shouldn't, she needs to know about the incident in the strip club, what the old Hope did, and the possible health issues that she could have so that she knows why she can't be alone by herself, at least not until she gets better, and more importantly "Don't attract attention. Cops could be after you." That is a lot to take in. The life of a bodyguard isn't as normal as others but there's no need to be frustrated. There's no need to slam the table. "They don't know it's you." Didn't she get that? Did she misunderstand? Why is she pulling her hair? This doesn't look good. If she can't feel pain, why is she hitting her head? Anyone who's in pain would be screaming but she's not. She's groaning. Now she's on the floor, breathing very loudly. "You okay?" Is she allergic to something in the pasta sauce? She didn't say she can't breathe so why is she grabbing her hair while facing down on the floor like a vampire who's afraid of light. "What's wrong?" Maybe she doesn't know either. Maybe Riley knows. Maybe…

Brie quickly moved to where the closet is after remembering what she found when Hope was taking a shower. It wasn't an accident and she has no intention of saying that it is if Hope asks. Searching thru her belongings was to see where she went last night. There was nothing that shows where but this proves she has a problem besides sexual desires and C.I.P.A.

"Here, take this" Brie said after taking one pill out of the small bag. "What are you doing? You need it." Brie tries to take out another until she couldn't. This time, Hope didn't just knock it out of her hand. She snatched the whole bag and threw it across the room. There's no need to try to get it because those aren't medicine. They're poison? Whatever it is, now isn't the time to ask. What Hope needs now is to be held like that night and a soothing "sshh" and gentle pressure applied to specific areas of her head should provide calmness and relieve stress and headaches which according to Noel it's only effective if it's done correctly. It seems to be working since Hope is no longer groaning. Her breathing is starting to normalize. Her eyes are still closed but not shut tight. Fifteen minutes more of pressure at the Anmian point would've been able to put her to sleep if not for the untimely call. Who would be calling me at this hour? It's not Christian, is it? Did he find out I just spent fifteen hundred dollars in a hotel? The call can wait. "Don't move" The old Hope hates taking orders. This one does too. It's good to see that she's feeling better but "What was that?" Everyone has headaches but not everyone carries around a bag of poison pills. It seems that she has no intention of explaining either since she's taking off her robe. "What the hell are you doing?" Either she has somewhere to go or she's leaving since I won't. "Just let me stay here tonight." Brie said after taking her pants. " I'll leave you alone tomorrow. Okay?" She's not falling for it. The old Hope wouldn't have either but she would know enough not to leave now after what just happened. "I know you think you can take care of yourself but you can't. Look at yourself. You're not well." Brie quickly jumped onto the bed to get to the other side while knowing that it won't work because all Hope had to do is call room service to see if they can get her a pair of pants but looks like she's not going to. She's walking away. She can't be leaving with a short sleeve top and shorts. She's not. She found a better way, a very crazy one, one that only a crazy person would think of. "Put it down." It worked the last time but this time, it might not. "What are you doing?" She's holding the knife but this time, she's not looking like she's going to hurt herself. She's walking this way, looking like she's planning to use it. If she thinks she can scare me, she should've acted like the old Hope. "I know you're not going to hurt me so put it down." It would've worked if she didn't already showed that she cares. It would've worked on Riley though and if she were here, she would be shocked too. (gasp) "What're you doing?" Brie said, regretting to have taken the knife given because now her hand is being held onto and pulling back caused her hand to be held tighter. Trying it again will cause Hope to pull back again, thus putting the tip of the knife deeper into her heart. Only those with depression would hurt themselves. She's not one of them so "Why are you doing this?"

"She's a killer."

She remembered?

"She's a rapist."

Only those with mental illness refers to themselves as a third person but in this case, she has a good reason to but "What?"

"She hurt them. She hurt you. She deserves it."

"Stop it" Waiting for her to do so is no longer an option. Begging isn't going to work. Pulling isn't going to get her to release the hold. Slapping her face, then a hand twist and a leg sweep did just like the old Hope said it would but more is needed to snap this Hope out of it. "You don't know her! You're not her! You don't get to kill her. So whoever you are, stop mutilating her body and get out of it. If you can't, I'll get you an exorcist." Oh, now she's looking at me like I'm the crazy one. "Look, you're not going to be like this forever. She'll be back and when she does, you'll see what type of person she is." On a second thought, there's no need to wait. Who knows when she'll be back. "You're right. She did hurt me. She took a copy of my key without my permission. She went into my apartment, hid behind the door, grabbed me from behind." Agreeing with her is not just to get her to stay put, it's to see what she remembered but it doesn't look like she does, not about this. "She did that because she cares." That is illogical. "I fired her that day and I...regretted" It did feel different without her. Lonely, sometimes. "It's my fault." Since she doesn't care about Hope and she cares about me, then letting her know how much I missed her might be able to change her mind. "She took care of me when I drank too much. She's there when I got sick. She taught me how to protect myself. She saved me. This wouldn't happen if I didn't let her go." Brie apologized, letting her tears fall which isn't difficult to do but it seems that the pretense made it worse. Why is she shaking her head? Why does she look disgusted? Why is she putting her pants on? She's not planning to go back to Pier 45, is she? Drowning isn't a fast way to go. "Please…don't go. I need you. I need her." If nothing will get her to stay, then maybe this will. "I love her." Brie continued begging and crying while holding Hope in a tight embrace until Hope interrupted. Unlike a moment ago, she found her accusation offensive not because this Hope just accused the old Hope of using drugs but because she just realized what this Hope thinks of her this entire time, a clueless dumb bitch who doesn't know that she had been taken advantage of. "She didn't drug me!"