7 May 1919
four and a half years later

Polly's hand was hard against Tommy's shoulder, her smacks echoing through the empty church hall as she pummelled her nephew aggressively.

"So that's why they sent a copper from Belfast." She hissed, her face close to his, the anger that seethed across her features clear. Tommy couldn't look her in the eye.
"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Thomas, you're a bookmaker, a robber, a fighting man, you are not a fool." Polly spat those words like the devil might read a list of sins, the frustration dripping from her tongue, aimed for Tommy with the hope of wakening him to reality. "You sell those guns to anyone who has use for them, you will hang."

A door creaked open, a man passing them where they sat, his footsteps loud through the hall, forcing Polly to quieten her tone and turn away from Tommy. Their conversation was not meant for passing ears. They sat in silence as he passed, not looking at each other, dwelling with the words that had just been spoken, processing how this new life of theirs had managed to come to this. To words whispered in a church, facing threats of hanging. Once the footsteps had finally faded into silence, Polly turned back around again to face Tommy, her eyes burning into his.

"Dump them somewhere the police can find them." It wasn't a suggestion. "Maybe if they know they haven't fallen into the wrong hands, this might blow over. Tell Charlie to dump them tonight."

"No," his words cut into hers. "He won't move contraband under a full moon. Three days until it wanes."

"Then you'll do the right thing?" Tommy nodded, complying with Polly's demands. At least, she prayed that's what he would do. "You have your mother's common sense, but your father's devilment. I see them fighting." She leaned in closer, "let your mother win."

And then Polly was up and away, crouching quickly at the alter to bless herself before she made for the exit with shoes clicking against the tiled floor, Tommy left sitting in brooding silence behind her. Polly had reached the end of the pews when she stopped suddenly, turning around to look back at him.

She watched him, eyes skirting over Tommy from behind. She saw his peaky cap slung low, embroidered with metal, observed his tensed shoulder, his clenched jaw; the image of a man with the weight of the world pressing down on him. Polly dared to hope for a heartbeat as she spoke again.

"And Tommy," he turned his head slightly at the sound of her voice to show that he was listening, Polly continued, "Elizabeth's train arrives tomorrow evening." His jaw seemed to tightened even more. "You will be there, won't you?"

Tommy only response was to turn away in silence, his attention suddenly focused on the altar. Polly sighed sadly, her hope for him slipping even further through her fingers.

8 May 1919

Elizabeth's train slowed as it came to the station, breaks screaming in protest and smoke billowing up the sides to fog the rain-splattered windows. Night was fast approaching and the world outside was dark and gloomy, the orange glow of the platform lamps forming strange shadows across the window and carriage floor. As the train finally came to a stop the carriage around her seemed to burst into life. Where men and women were previously asleep and silent, they were now standing up and moving around, luggage was being collected and shouts were thrown out the windows and doors to the outside world around her. For a minute Elizabeth couldn't move, she sat silently and still, watching the people that circled her. She heard a baby crying behind, a man a few seats down was coughing into his sleeve. It almost felt like she wasn't with them, floating above it all. The opening of the doors was enough of a wake-up call, however, and she was off her seat like all the others, following children, chattering girls, old women and businessmen alike. A group of Irish men shoved past Elizabeth to get the door, muttering darkly beneath their breath. A soldier caught her arm to stop her falling over, pulling her back to her feet.

"Thank you," she said quietly, smiling at him. He stood with two other soldiers, exhausted-looking men with grey faces and sad smiles. Their uniform was faded and their bags were bulging on their backs. The man's hand rested on her elbow and she took it in hers for a second, squeezing gently and smiling again. They looked out of place, she noticed, uncomfortable and afraid.

"Long time since you've been home, huh?" Their response was simply a nod, eyes downcast and focused on the floor, "it won't seem so unfamiliar after a while."

Elizabeth couldn't really tell who that was meant for, the soldiers or herself, but there wasn't enough time to wonder as she neared the carriage doors, open to the outside, and the soldiers moved past her to disembark. She followed behind, pushing her hat further down her head with one hand and gripping her bag so tightly in the other that her knuckles grew white and began to ache. Stepping down onto the platform seemed to take forever, time stilling around her. She panicked slightly as she felt her lungs burning and her chest tightening, realising she'd forgotten to breath. The evening wind was bitter against her cheeks but beneath her coat Elizabeth felt as if she was burning. The platform was surprisingly busy and, through fog and hazy rain, she had to look around for several minutes to find who she was looking for. With every step her heart beat faster, her jaw tightened, her hand ached.

And then Elizabeth saw them.

At the end of the platform, nearest the exit, two women and a boy stood hazed by the smoke of the train as it pulled away from the station, but clear as a summer day to Elizabeth as she took them in. At first her walk to the trio was slow, but it didn't take long for her steps to quicken. Where her heart once beat fast from dread, it now pounded in excitement. Her tightened jaw loosened into an aching smile, tears filled her eyes. She began to run and had to grasp her hat to keep it on her head, letting go of her coat. It billowed out behind her like a cloak, flapping in the wind as she raced to reach them. Polly met her halfway, the woman's arms wrapping around her waist in a crushing hug that took her halfway of her feet and spinning around. She swung her own arms around Polly's neck, sobbing into her shoulder as she was brought down to her feet. It was there they stayed for several minutes, intertwined in her surrogate mother's arms, breathing in the perfume that had scented her childhood, the warm hair that had soaked up many more tears before.

Standing on the Small Heath train station platform that evening, hugging Polly, Elizabeth realised just how much she had missed everything in the last years. Buried desires surfaced with the tears, spilling out to soak a coat-covered shoulder and she grasped Polly's neck almost too tightly so that they may never part again. Eventually Polly pulled back, however, grasping Elizabeth's face in her hands and moving it from side to side, gently, looking at her. Even through her tear-filled vision, she could make out Polly's own red eyes and running nose, as well as the smile to match, spread wide across her face. A smile once as familiar as her own and yet now so foreign.

"Oh Eliza," She could only sigh, pulling her into a hug once again, hands stroking her hair, her cheeks, her arms. "I've missed you so much my dear."

"Alright Aunt Pol, give the rest of us a bloody go." Ada elbowed her way past her Aunt to pull Elizabeth into her own greeting, squealing and giggling as she wrapped her arms around her neck. The girl spun her round and weaved their fingers together, sighing and kissing her cheek. ""It's so good to have you back Eliza! You don't know how much I've missed you, how we've all missed you."

And then Ada stepped away as well, though not before taking her bag from her and moving back to rest her head on Polly's shoulder. Finn stepped forward then, smiling meekly at Elizabeth, hands tucked deep into his pockets and his feet scraping at the ground. He was taller than she remembered, and nowhere near as skinny and bouncy as he had been at six years old when she had last seen him. All the same, she crouched down to below his height, grinning at him.

"Seems you've half turned into a man while I've been gone," she opened her arms to welcome him into a hug, "I have missed you so much Finn."

He replied with a grin that spread across his face, sweet and soft like warm honey. He bundled himself into her arms, hugging her tightly, his arms tightening around her shoulders. The weight of his small body against hers was enough to cause more tears to spill from her eyes and Elizabeth found herself sobbing into Finn's shoulder this time, his boyish innocence something she had missed with a fierce passion. The little boy, equal parts brother and son, that wasn't so little anymore. The boy who had begun to grow up in front of her before she had left, who had continued growing without her. Elizabeth had feared at first he might even have forgotten her, her heart ached for the time they'd been apart, but Finn's arms around her shoulders and his own tears against her neck were an answer to that fear, a promise they could be like they once were.

She stood up then, taking his hand in hers and looking at the others. Polly was crying into a handkerchief, Ada smiling nostalgically with Elizabeth's bag hugged tightly against her chest. And suddenly the last four and a half years seemed to blend into nothingness for a heart beat. As she stood there, looking at her family, it felt as though she was young and free again, nineteen years old with the whole world ahead of her. It felt like they could be who they once were. The moment was gone almost as quickly as it came but it was enough for her, enough to smile bravely and link arms with Polly as they followed Finn and Ada out the station doors. It was enough to continue hoping.

"The boys will be just round the corner, I tasked them with putting your other bags in the car, which is just outside the station," Elizabeth couldn't help the smile that crept up to her face at those words, but when Polly noticed she faltered in her step and bought the two of them to a stop. "Oh, Eliza, dear, I'm sorry." She shooed Ada and Finn ahead quickly with a look and a wave of a hand, before grasping Elizabeth's hands in hers. "When I say boys, love, I mean Arthur and John. Just Arthur and John. We thought, hoped that maybe... he knew you were coming, it's just-"

"Aunt Pol it's fine," She cut her of with a smile and a kiss on a cheek, moving them on again. "I understand." And though Polly seemed hesitant first, she accepted Elizabeth's smile reluctantly and walked out the train station with her in silence.

The smile wasn't false, she told herself, she was beyond happy to even be home and if she was being reasonable, she never really expected him to turn up as well. Things were different now, the boys were different now. God, Elizabeth herself was far from the girl she had been the last time that she had seen them. Polly had said how he'd changed, she'd seen it for herself in the men and soldiers going home. War had changed them all. And yet something pulled ever so slightly at her chest still, twisting and biting, a bitter sadness that caught at the back of her throat and threatened to choke her into a sob. She kept smiling though and pushed it all down as they turned a street corner and her attention was stolen by the two men leaning against a car, all smiles and shouts as she neared them.

Arthur and John looked much older. Their faces were more gaunt, sleep-deprived and sharp. Arthur had more hair than she remembered, as well as a moustache, and John seemed smaller, or at least he held himself that way. Elizabeth didn't remember them being so strong, either. Their arms were muscled, their shoulders taunt and stomachs flat. They didn't look like boys anymore, the war had taken that from them as well. She neared, moving from Polly's grasp and found herself once again running, desperate to greet them. Their caps glinted in the setting sun, a red glow reflecting off the metal. Elizabeth ignored it though, throwing herself into Arthur's arms with a laugh, allowing him to spin her around and around, crushing her in a breathless hug. Though he had changed, his warmth and laughter had not, and for that she was grateful. She kissed him on both cheeks and let him wipe the tears from her eyes.

John was still leant on the car behind them, when she moved past Arthur to greet him. John who she had despised since they first met each other. John who she had argued and fought with for as long as anyone could remember. But also John that she had hugged so tightly when he'd left, begging him to come back. John that had lost his wife a year ago and had come home to four young children, both a widower and a veteran. She placed a hand against his cheek and looked into his sad eyes. They seemed to carry so much weight and her heart ached for him, because, despite all their bickering, he would always be her brother.

"John, I am so sorry I couldn't come to the funeral." She swallowed a sob and continued, "Martha will always be with you though, and with your children." She pulled him into an embrace then, unable to stop the cry that pierced through her lips as she clung to him. John was silent, but his actions spoke loud as he clung back. "I'm always here for you, remember that. I'll help you, whatever you need, I'll help you."

It was all she could manage and, though Elizabeth wished she could give more, John seemed content with that and kissed her cheek, even managing a small smile.

"Right then," Polly said from beside them, "shall we go home?"

ty for reading chapter 1!

e x

(17/04/2020)