AAAaAA sorry about last chapter's cliffhanger! Hope this helps. 3
9: In Which There Is Still Only One Bed
After a solid hour or two of tears and maybe some screaming into the dirt, Loki takes a walk to see what planet he landed on. When he comes across the nearest city, he recognizes it: Nilfgaard.
Fate is cruel at times.
He should move on. Aaravos already has a way out of the mirror. He does not need Loki, and Loki does not need him.
But… it could not hurt... to have more of that alloy on hand.
Aaravos's body shakes with the effort of stopping his tears before they turn audible and the mage notices. Still, he cannot do anything but lie on the floor and wait for sleep.
It comes slowly, and his sleep is fitful, haunted by Fial and Loki, sometimes separate, sometimes the same, always leaving him alone. Once, Viren, crushing the caterpillar and leaving Aaravos screaming voicelessly into emptiness.
He can feel the dried salt on his cheeks when he wakes, alone again.
It is better this way. No one left means no one to betray me. Fial is long dead, Loki I will never see again, and Viren is easy to manipulate. I will not be betrayed again. It is better now.
The one person Aaravos still lies to is himself.
Given how difficult it is to make, and how valuable it is, the adaranium will be under lock and key, and he is not particularly well-liked on Nilfgaard. He shifts into an unassuming form, summoning a cloak and some coin from his pocket dimension. He can slip in, buy some adaranium, and slip out no problem. Then he can get on with his life, chaotic as it is.
With Loki gone, there is nothing stopping him from the next part of the spell. Aaravos tests his voice. It is gone, so Viren is awake. And Aaravos senses something– a distraction.
"Get up," he orders the mage. "You have visitors." He casts his consciousness out from the caterpillar, calling a nearby butterfly to Viren. He knows what happens after using dark magic. The mage will need it.
He watches, convincing himself he is interested, as the mage's children confront him about some mission he sent them on. From this, Aaravos learns that the mage instructed his son to kill the princes of Katolis, that the son failed or perhaps refused to do so, and feels guilty about both the attempt and disobeying his father, and that the daughter refuses to believe such a thing of her father. She is overly loyal, Aaravos notes, willing to believe anything of anyone so long as it means she does not need to question her loyalties.
"Careful," Aaravos warns. "If you tell the truth, you will lose her." The girl's desperation to prove that her brother misheard means that for all she wishes to remain loyal to her father, she has morals that are likely more important. Should she be forced to choose between loyalty and morality, Aaravos thinks she will choose morality.
He can change that, but not in an instant.
"Where have you been? Haven't you heard the new laws?" the merchant asks.
"I have been… out of touch for a while. Care to explain?" Loki replies.
"Adaranium is a powerful material, and now regulated by the crown. Only authorized personnel from verified guilds and companies can purchase it."
Loki paints a smile on his face and nods. "Of course, I am terribly sorry to bother you. Thank you for answering my questions."
He exits the shop to do reconnaissance. Once he gets a look at whatever documents he needs, even a glance, they should be easy to replicate with his magic. Then again, he could always just steal it… no, he will try to go about this on the slightly more legitimate side… for now.
After the mage's children leave, Aaravos begins questioning Viren. Little by little, he pulls information from the mage– his thoughts on his children; his relationships with the king, princes, and dead queen; other influential people in Katolis; what the other rulers are like.
The last thing Aaravos wants right now is for the mage to fall asleep and leave Aaravos with the awful silence of Loki's absence. So he continues saying just enough to keep the mage talking, filing each new bit of information away to use later.
He interrupts only once, to say, "Tell me when it is dark."
"Why?" Viren asks.
"Because I wish to know when it is dark."
"Why?"
"Do you truly wish to know the answer to that?" Aaravos asks, injecting humor into his voice. "I doubt it."
The mage does not ask again after that. Does not mention it again until some time later, when he says, "It's dark now. Why do you need to know?"
Instead of answering, Aaravos instructs the mage to lie down and keep his eyes open, then sends the caterpillar towards his face.
It is not difficult to move unseen through the crowds, even without using any sort of invisibility magic. He finds the ones that seem most influential, and orchestrates various ways in which to check through their belongings and papers. He does not even need his magic, and it makes for a fun challenge.
In fact, just talking and interacting with other people is a joy.
Finally, he comes across the documents he needs to buy adaranium. He waves down the woman he swiped them from. "Excuse me, I believe you dropped these," he says with a charming smile. She thanks him profusely, thinking him honest for returning them to her.
Predictably, the mage squeezes his eyes shut when the caterpillar gets near. Aaravos sighs impatiently, and the caterpillar pries the mage's eyelids apart.
"What are you doing?" the mage squeaks.
"Preparing you for greatness," Aaravos says. "Hold still."
As he concentrates, the caterpillar begins to spin a web crossing over Viren's eye, from one lid to the other multiple times until it is complete. The caterpillar then seals Viren's eyelids shut with another strand of web. He leaves the web on as he casts spells through his connection to Viren, directly on the web. Only a half dozen spells, then he is done.
As his vision fades, he instructs the caterpillar to remove the strand of web. The insect is still on Viren's face as he opens his eyes.
Aaravos smiles, looking at Viren and the caterpillar before stepping through the bars of the mage's cell. "Now, you can see me," he explains, bowing. "And I can better serve you."
Viren smiles.
Loki concentrates, trying to conjure up a document just like the one he saw. He got a good enough look that he has it memorized. However, as he tries to summon his magic, there is something… off about it. He hopes that this is just an adjustment to being back in his home universe.
He is hesitant to push through whatever block this is, knowing what happened the last couple of times he pushed through. Instead, he tries a different method. He grabs a piece of paper and tries to place an illusion over it. This time, instead of a block, he realizes that something is pulling against him.
He wonders, is it really worth the trouble to get the adaranium? Perhaps he should find passage somewhere else like Alfheim and see what is wrong with his magic. The other half of him demands that he has adaranium on hand, that he needs to have it.
Loki sighs. He wants to go back for Aaravos.
He can't go back for Aaravos. He has no idea how he could even go about getting back to such a tiny bubble dimension.
He could find out...
Aaravos can feel his body still, standing like his astral form is. It is strange, being so disconnected from his body, though not wholly unfamiliar and certainly not unexpected.
"You should sleep," he tells Viren. "We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."
"Sleep?" the mage demands. "When you've just done this!? You expect me to sleep?"
Aaravos smirks. "Yes. You will be freed by dusk tomorrow. You will need sleep if you are to return as the king you will be."
He is not sure how he is so certain of this, but he knows.
One more try, one more tentative try at making a counterfeit document before Loki leaves this venture behind to find out what is wrong. He cannot be certain anything is wrong without trying properly, anyway.
But this time, instead of something pulling against him for control of his magic, whatever this force is pulls him as well. Loki realizes what is happening just as his body leaves the universe, and he curses.
He should have known it would not be so easy to escape. Just like the first time, he nearly crashes face-first into the bookshelf. Unlike the first time, he has no adaranium with him. He is well and truly trapped this time.
It is a small dimension, and he cannot avoid Aaravos forever, so he might as well get it over with. Who knows if time flows the same for the two of them? Aaravos might be free by now. Loki shakes off the horrific thought, and starts with the sitting room, where he last left Aaravos.
"How can you know this?" the mage asks.
"If you will attempt to sleep, I will tell you," Aaravos says.
He cannot seem to shake the idea that when Viren sleeps, he will be able to talk to Loki again. Loki is gone, he tells himself harshly, and turns his attention back to Viren.
"One of my powers as a Startouch elf is knowing things before they happen," Aaravos says, not realizing until he says why he knows Viren will be free tomorrow. He answers Viren's next question, bound to be so why are you imprisoned, before he asks it: "It can be rather unpredictable, however, so I do not rely on it. Does that answer your question sufficiently?"
"Yes," says Viren, eyes closed. "For now."
Aaravos rolls his eyes and murmurs a spell for long sleep. Once Viren falls asleep, he will stay that way for a good ten to twelve hours. Aaravos sees no reason to while away the time with the mage when he could be reading instead of how to break the spell– just in case.
Waiting for Viren to sleep, Aaravos tests the limits of his astral form. He finds he can go a fair distance from Viren, out of the dungeon and even a story up from the ground. Gravity does not affect this form, and air resistance only as much as he allows. He rather enjoys walking on the ceiling.
He is sitting cross-legged on the ceiling of the kitchen, watching a glow toad and a small human sneak into the kitchen, when his astral form begins to fade.
Loki's shoulders relax in relief when he sees Aaravos standing in the sitting room. His eyes are open, but clouded over as if there is a thin mesh over them. Loki knows he should not be surprised that Aaravos went ahead with the next phase of his plan, but there is an ache in his heart at knowing that Aaravos cannot see him, see that he came back.
Does he even care? He must hate me now.
Even harder, how in the nine realms is he going to explain himself?
He reaches up, the palm of his hand hovering over Aaravos's cheek, debating whether to make his presence known or to run and hide, when Aaravos's eyes clear back to their normal gold and black. Loki snatches his hand away, hopefully before Aaravos can see.
The first thing Aaravos sees when his vision returns is Loki in front of him, hand at the edge of his vision.
His heart leaps before he reminds himself it's only an illusion. Wishful thinking. Somehow, he must have lost control of his magic, and it created this.
He looks at the illusion sadly. "I wish you were really here," he admits. He closes his eyes, inhales, and…
...perhaps he will leave the illusion a little longer. It would be nice to have Loki's company again, even if it is not real.
Loki tries not to show the surprise on his face. This is not the first time someone has mistaken him for an illusion. He tilts his head in questioning, curious to see what Aaravos would say to him. "How goes your plan?" he asks.
Aaravos laughs. "You came from my mind. You know how it goes: the mage will be free of his prison tomorrow, I of mine soon enough." He pauses, unsure if he should admit– but this is not the real Loki, it cannot hurt. "I am glad you– the real you– is free. I hope you– he– whichever– is happy."
Loki swallows, his face burning in a strange mixture of shame and… some sort of positive emotion that he cannot name. He looks off to the side, almost embarrassed, before reaching up and swatting Aaravos on the side of his head. "Perhaps I would be happy if I did not have to leave you behind, you stupid pile of purple glitter."
Aaravos chokes on his own breath when the illusion touches him. "Loki?!"
His face and ears heat instantly, thinking not only of what he did say, but of all the things he could have said.
Loki crosses his arms angrily, avoiding Aaravos's eyes. "Yes, I was… ugh I have no idea why because I had no idea if I would ever be able to find you again, but I was trying to get more of that adaranium. Maybe it was just a precaution, but I just… yes so you should know that somehow my magic is tied to this realm, and when I tried to use it to procure more of the alloy, I… I landed back here." He glares at the floor. "So... you should take that under advisement during your escape attempt."
Aaravos stares at Loki, not sure what to say. Finally, he settles on, "You– you are not an illusion," and immediately curses himself. Could I have said anything more idiotic?
"I, er." Aaravos searches desperately for words. "I… please do not take this the wrong way, but I wish you had been an illusion."
And at the same time, he is glad Loki is real. He knows he is not lying, he does wish Loki were free… but at the same time, because he is glad Loki is here, he feels as though he is lying.
Loki did not realize it was possible, but his face burns even more. "No use wishing for the impossible. I am here, and I do not have any adaranium this time. I have absolutely no way to get us out of here."
Something sparks inside Aaravos's mind. What if Loki uses his way out, his spell? Perhaps the mage's daughter would be willing to take Loki's caterpillar–
The dark mage's dark mage daughter. It is a dark spell. That will not do.
He can free Loki perfectly well and almost as soon without resorting to Loki's use of dark magic.
"Luckily, we still have my way," he says, pulling a smile onto his face. "If I cannot break the mirror– highly unlikely– the Dragon Queen should know how. Avizandum would not have kept me alive all these centuries if he did not see a use for me, and he was too smart to seal away something he could use."
Loki scowls, lifting his eyes to glare at Aaravos. "Oh yes, your way, the one that involves leaving me behind to wait for you." Even just one day away from Aaravos, however, has softened his heart, and he cannot hold the angry expression. He rushes forward and wraps his arms around Aaravos. "I realized that leaving you was a mistake the moment I left, but do you realize how terrified your plan makes me? I have been left behind by people that claimed to love me, Aaravos, abandoned to rot in solitary confinement. You have to swear to me Aaravos, that you will not leave me behind. Please."
Aaravos's smile vanishes, and he hugs Loki back fiercely. "I will not leave you behind, Loki. I will not, I swear it. I swear on my connection to the stars, on my magic. I cannot promise to never leave you, but I promise I will always, always come back for you."
He cannot readily explain the surge of protectiveness he feels when Loki opens up to him, but then, he is not sure he is ready to know.
"I believe you… and it is not as if I have any other options anyway."
"You could be angry," Aaravos suggests in an attempt at a joke.
Loki smiles, hearing the humor in Aaravos's tone. "Not at you, or never for long." He ends the sentence with a yawn, realizing now how tired he is. The trip back to Aaravos took a lot of his strength, much like the first time. "Sorry, I do not mean to cut our reunion short, but I should get some rest. Engaging in interdimensional travel twice in one day sapped my strength."
Aaravos nods. "Of course. I should rest soon as well." His day has not exactly been restful, what with the magic and the talking and the worry.
"You can take the bed, then. I am the unwelcome guest after all." Loki's limbs already ache at the thought. The couch is by no means comfortable.
Aaravos makes a small startled noise. "Unwelcome? Why would you ever think that? No, I can take the couch. You deserve to sleep comfortably."
"You told me to go, and I landed right back here. It is your bed." An idea occurs to Loki that he is not sure he wants to voice aloud, not so soon after he abandoned Aaravos… but the bed is big enough for two.
Aaravos folds his arms. "Yes, and I am telling you to take it. I…" He lets his arms drop. "I was cruel to you. I should not have been, and I am sorry. This is the least I can do to begin making up for it."
"And I was cruel to you as well, Aaravos." The next words spill out in a way one can only characterize as "accidentally on purpose."
"It does not feel right to sleep in your bed… it feels as if you should be there, ever since that night with the celestiale."
Aaravos's mouth falls slightly open. Is Loki… did Loki just say what Aaravos thinks he said? Did he?
"I, ah…. That can certainly be arranged."
His ears are on fire, and he is sure Loki can see that. He pulls a few strands of hair from behind his ears, draping them over the points.
Loki cannot believe he just said that. Perhaps he would have noticed Aaravos's efforts to cover his ears were he not pointedly avoiding looking at Aaravos.
He just… loathes the idea of being alone again. "Okay, then, good." He swallows awkwardly. "Then, we can share."
"Yes." Aaravos forces a cough in an attempt to hide the idiot's grin growing on his face.
Why is he so bad with words around Loki? But, he got better? Why is it happening again?
He takes three deep breaths, feeling his face and ears cool slightly, and glances at Loki. "Shall we head upstairs, then?"
Loki nods, moving past Aaravos to go upstairs so he does not have to look at him. He uses a spell to change his clothes into suitable sleep wear and immediately gets into the bed, facing the far wall away from Aaravos once he catches up. This is completely normal. Norns, we have even done this before, there is nothing to be so worked up over.
Aaravos sits awkwardly on the edge of the bed, facing away from Loki and humming an old Startouch lullaby to calm his nerves. Aaravos, you are being an idiot. This is not a big deal. It is entirely possible to share a bed platonically. Besides, we have done so before. It is simply sleep.
Yes, but it is sleep next to Loki, his traitor brain responds.
Oh no, and now Aaravos means to torture Loki with his singing. He suppresses the groan and unfavorable comments about Aaravos's humming and asks, "What are you humming?"
Aaravos straightens in surprise at Loki's sudden question. "Oh… only a Startouch lullaby. ...would you like me to sing it for you?" he adds hopefully, half turning.
Loki can hear the hopeful tone, and he figures that he can bear a short lullaby. Besides, it would make Aaravos happy, and perhaps make the entire situation a little less awkward if they were both to direct their attention to something other than the fact that they are sharing a bed. "Yes, if you want to."
Aaravos smiles and closes his eyes, humming a few notes before he starts singing quietly. Not really singing, even, only a little singsong. "Loo loo loo, I'll take you dreaming, through the rainy night, to a place behind the raindrops where the stars are bright…"
He can remember singing this many times, to each of Ziard's children, and, longer ago, to his sister. He does not like children in general, but a few managed to find their way into his heart over the centuries.
"We will tiptoe home with a wondrous star…"
Loki does not hate this as much as he thought he would.
Perhaps it was the fear that he would never see Aaravos again, but he finds he likes Aaravos's voice a lot more than he did. After all, it is not so bad… he may have just been too harsh on him before. One would only expect a gorgeous singing voice with how musical Aaravos's speaking voice is.
He imagines a startouch elf singing this song to baby Aaravos, and is suddenly hit with a wave of grief for his own mother, who sang him the most beautiful songs when he was little.
Aaravos finishes the lullaby with, "Tonight, tonight, when all the world's asleep, we will find a star… that you can always… keep," and opens his eyes to realize he is now facing Loki. Or, the back of Loki's head, anyway.
Something about Loki's posture looks sad, so Aaravos reaches out, hesitates, and barely brushes Loki's shoulder with his fingertips. "What is wrong?"
Loki turns over so that he is facing Aaravos, and he is not prepared for how close the elf is, looking at him with those golden eyes and eyebrows tilted upward in concern. He tries to ignore the burning in his cheeks. "That was lovely. It just… it reminded me of my mother. She would sing to me when I had nightmares as a boy."
Aaravos gives a half smile and pulls back, noticing the redness of Loki's face. "She sounds very kind. Would you like to sing one of her songs? I should love to hear it… but only if you wish to sing it."
He does not care as much about the song as about Loki's voice, but Loki does not need to know that.
Loki nods slightly. "If I remember it correctly…" he hums a few notes to get the key. "Drømte mig en drøm i nat... Om silke og ærlig pæl... Bar en dragt så let og glat... I solfaldets strålevæld... -Nu vågner den klare morgen." He does not know if the Allspeak extends to the language as he sings. He hopes Aaravos hears it as he does, even if it would not make sense to him. There is something about the sound that he has always loved, like coming home.
Loki has a lovely singing voice, Aaravos notices, before noting the enchanting melody or the fact he cannot understand the words.
Calmer now, due to the soothing melody (and perhaps also the fact he could not understand the words), Aaravos leans back, relaxing into the pillows.
"Alle de andre på os så… De smilede, og de lo," Loki reaches out to stroke Aaravos's hair, an almost impulsive response, as it was always what his mother did when singing to him. He falters momentarily as his brain catches up to his actions, but continues as if it was what he intended.
The song is about dreaming about someone the singer loves, and dancing together in the dream. Loki thinks he would like to dance with Aaravos some time. He shall have to add it to the list.
Aaravos stiffens in discomfort when Loki first touches his hair, but after a moment relaxes again. It is only Loki. No one else.
His eyes drift closed as Loki finishes the song. Without opening them, he says, "That was a beautiful song. What is it about?"
Loki smiles at the confirmation that the song did not translate through the Allspeak. "It is about a dream the singer had, where they dance with someone they love, and they are happy with them until they wake with the dawn."
"Perhaps we should dance, sometime–" Aaravos's brain catches up to his mouth, and his eyes fly open, no longer sleepy.
Aaravos's shocked face amuses Loki enough that he decides to tease him. He yanks his hand away from Aaravos's hair and puts on an affronted expression. "I have only known you for a few months, Aaravos, and you would proposition me like that? Dancing together is only for the most devoted of lovers. Are elves so free and loose with their affections?"
Aaravos stumbles over his own tongue as he tries to respond. At least the first few responses that come to mind do not make it past his mind.
He manages to take a deep breath and respond with some level of composure, "Is Asgard truly so strict? In Xadia dancing is a common activity, together or alone. It does not mean any such thing unless the dancers wish it to mean such a thing… save for a certain few."
Loki shakes his head, light laughter escaping him. "You should have seen your face!" He takes a moment to laugh a little more. "Relax, I was only messing with you. I would love to dance with you sometime."
Aaravos reaches up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. "Hmn. I should have known." Loki's last sentence registers, and he smiles. Torn between looking down and looking at Loki, he only smiles vaguely into space.
True, dancing is not necessarily a romantic activity, but. Loki said he would love to dance with Aaravos. Does that mean he enjoys dancing, or that he wishes to dance with Aaravos?
Reaching out to pat Aaravos on the head, Loki says, "You have the same look on your face as Thor when he tries to do math. Stop thinking so much and go to sleep. We both need our rest, silly elf."
Aaravos rolls his eyes overdramatically. "As the Princess commands," he says, lying down again and closing his eyes. After a moment, he opens them again to say, "You need sleep too, Princess. Lie down."
A thought occurs to him, and he scoots closer to the edge to give Loki more space, in case he is uncomfortable being so close to Aaravos so soon after he left.
As startled as Loki was at seeing Aaravos so close, he is strangely saddened as Aaravos puts more space between them. He decides to ignore it, and closes his eyes to sleep.
If he were conscious of it, Aaravos would be surprised at how quickly he falls asleep.
He dreams first of dancing with Loki at the Star Nexus, twirling around under the sky filled with more stars than makes sense. Somehow, the sky is all stars and yet still an endless expanse of velvety black. Aaravos smiles at Loki, and Loki smiles back.
As they dance, Loki's skin begins to sparkle, shining brighter and brighter until the light fades and Aaravos is dancing with Fial.
"I love you, Aaravos," Fial says, pulling him close. "I'd never betray you." His grip turns icy, and Aaravos cannot escape.
Fial's head melts into a dragon's. "Stay with me Aaravos. Trust me." His voice is mocking, cold and high, and Aaravos tries but he cannot get away, and Fial's hands are turning his body to ice–
He's struggling against a cocoon of blankets, still shivering. When he calms, he instinctively pulls the blankets closer around him, breathing deeply. Only a nightmare. Only a nightmare.
Another shiver runs through his body, and he curls more tightly into the blankets.
Loki stirs awake, blinking sleepily in the dark as he comes to consciousness enough to see what woke him. The blankets are gone, or, more accurately, Aaravos has stolen them. He turns to see the elf curled into a tight ball, cocooned in the covers. Loki tugs on the corner of the blanket, only for Aaravos to grip them tighter.
"You're not the only one in this bed anymore, damn elf, learn to share!" Loki whispers.
Aaravos's face scrunches in displeasure, the starry freckles glinting in the low light. "I'm cold," he almost whines. Oh, Loki will definitely be teasing him about that in the morning.
But for now, Loki cannot help but think that the great archmage seems remarkably small. He taps Aaravos's shoulder, opening his arms. "Come here, then. I may be a frost giant, but I can keep you warm in this form, and then it'll be easier to share the blankets."
Aaravos scoots closer, but instead of snuggling in, reaches out to pull Loki's head to his chest. "I'd poke you with my horns otherwise," he mumbles by way of explanation
So Loki and Aaravos meet somewhere in the middle, Loki's forehead resting at Aaravos's chin. He can feel Aaravos's breath against his hair. Sharing their warmth, Aaravos releases his grip on the blankets and allows Loki to drape them over the two of them.
Loki is beginning to drift off to sleep when he feels more than hears Aaravos whisper. "Thank you, Loki."
He thinks that he hears Aaravos's voice tremble, and maybe the touch of a tear on his hair, but he chooses to ignore it. He figures Aaravos would prefer not to face that level of vulnerability yet anyway.
He's tempted to thank Aaravos back, but stays silent, slowly drifting back to sleep. It is nice, he thinks, to have such a soft touch after so long.
Loki thinks Aaravos must be thinking the same.
Aaravos stays awake a little longer than Loki, as his body calms from the nightmare. He is okay. He is safe here. Loki is not Fial. Loki is right here. And Loki is warm.
Aaravos's eyes close, and he drifts into a dream he will not remember when he wakes.
flurf :D
Aaravos's song, I'll Take You Dreaming, is from a movie called The Court Jester, one of my all-time favorite movies. It's a lovely lullaby, and now makes me think only of Lokivos. :)))
Loki's song, Drømte Mig en Drøm i Nat, I'd never heard until recently. Hope chose it, and it's beautiful. I highly recommend it.
Anyway I think that's all for now! AAaaahhhh we were so happy for them to share the bed again!