CHAPTER 8

NICOLETTE

When the sun raised the next morning, Nicki was looking outside the window of the RV silently; the events of the previous night still replaying in her mind. So many people had died, eaten alive. The girl still couldn't believe that some of them had survived. Even if the wounds of all their losses wouldn't have healed easily.

Andrea was still out there, sitting next to Amy's body. All night she had watched over her sister. Nicki couldn't help but thinking that that could have happened to her too. There was a moment that she had thought Sarah had ended up like Amy. She still remembered being held close to her sister, when she had noticed a walker come behind her. Nicolette had pushed Sarah as quickly as possible, but before she could look in her sister's eyes, more walkers had step in between them. In just a moment Sarah was nowhere to be found and Nicki could still feel the dread of the thought of her sister's dead body. She was frozen, her body wouldn't move, not even the name of har sister left her lips. Shane was the only reason Nicki was still alive. He had yanked her by the arm to push her in Lori's embrace. He had his rifle in hand, shooting at any walker that come closer as he led them, Carl, Carol and Sophia near the RV. Nicki had thought about Sarah all the time, trying to look for her in the crowd, but it had been useless; it was too dark. Too messy. Too scary.

Only when she was able to spot Sarah, she felt like she could breathe again. She had seen her standing next to Daryl and Glenn, her face and cloths dirty of blood and so were her shaky hands. She had cut her hand pretty bad, but Nicki was glad none the less. At least she was still alive.

No one had slept that night. They set in silence for hours as Rick and Daryl looked around for survivors. They had found so many more dead bodies and one of them was Ed. She had heard he had been eaten so much that he was barely recognizable.

Few hours before dawn, Lori had asked her to stay with the other children inside the RV, so that they could get some sleep. Nicki, Carl, Sophia and Morales' children had all survived and they were still shaken up. But after some time, they lay down in silence, even if every now and then she could hear some sobs. As for Nicki, she really didn't feel like sleeping and more often that she liked to admit, her eyes moved to the entrance of the RV, afraid that something would enter.

The first rays of sunshine were getting stronger, when Nicki noticed T-Dog starting to pull one of the walker's body on the side of the camp. Soon Daryl did the same, then Glenn and Morales, but even Lori and Sarah.

"What are they doing?" Carl's voice made her turn, to see the boy sitting across from her, studying the outside with his blue eyes.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" she asked coolly making him frown.

"You are enjoying too much this 'babysitter thing'" Nicki let out a weak snort at his words.

"If you say so" then she took a breath before looking at the outside again, to see Sarah pulling one of the walkers with her good hand. She was so tired; under her sister's eyes there were black circles and her skin was so pale. Nicki had never seen her like that.

"I couldn't sleep" Carl said after some minutes of silence. She turned to him that was observing every single movement outside, probably searching for his parents.

"Yeah, me too. Probably won't be able soon" she couldn't help but flinch when she noticed Daryl hitting one of the bodies' head with a pickaxe.

"God..." she muttered.

"They will all turn" said Carl, sadly making her nod.

They all knew what being bitten meant. And the only way to stop it was damaging the brain. But see it be done on a human head made her shiver. All those people just few hours back were talking and laughing among them.

"Can you babysit for once?" she asked turning to Carl, who frowned.

"What?" he asked as she stood up.

"I leave you on watch" she said before stepping down the RV.

As she got outside her eyes fell once more on Andrea and Amy. If they had to stop the bodies to become walkers that meant that they would have to put something through Amy's brain too. But would Andrea let them, even if it was the right thing to do?

"Hey" she said walking towards Daryl who was rubbing his eyes because of the sweat and the dust.

"What d'ya want?" he asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I wanna help" she said making him frown.

"No"

"I'm not asking" Nicki said as he started to walk away making him stop "Just wanted to know what there was to do, but if you don't want to tell me someone else will" Daryl just glared at her.

"Nicolette?" Sarah voice made her turn "What is it? Are you ok?" Nicki nodded at her sister's question.

"I should say the same thing to you" she answered eyeing Sarah's right hand, the wounded hand. It was still wrapped in Daryl's red rag and she was keeping it close. It must have hurt. Nicki just hopped that it wasn't bleeding anymore.

"I'm fine" Sarah said putting her hand behind her back involuntary.

"Wanna help?" said Daryl making them looking at him "Then push those bodies over there" he said pointing at a couple of walkers not too far from them "I cannot hear more of hers whining" Nicki turned to Sarah who blinked her eyes in confusion. Daryl scoffed before walking away.

"Funny guy" said Nicki before going next to one of the walkers. It was the first time that she had the chance to study one of them, she never actually stared at them. Its rotten skin was a disgusting greyish colour. Its eyes were still opened, they were yellowish and had pale grey irises. Its teeth were black and they were all showing since it didn't have lips left.

"You sure you want to do this?" she heard Sarah say.

Nicki nodded.

"I want to"

She worked for a few hours. She stood next to T-Dog, doing everything he asked her to. Nicki needed it, she really wanted to think about something else than the flashbacks in her mind. Everything was better that the sensation of despair.

The two of them had walked around the camp to see if there were other survivors, but there was no one, nor bodies, nor walkers. When they came back to the RV, they noticed Rick, Daryl, Shane, Lori, Sarah and Carol talking. It seemed they were talking about something serious. So, when T-Dog went over Gleen to start helping him dig some graves, Nicki walked towards the group.

"Y'all can't be serious" she heard Daryl say "Let that girl hamstring us? The dead girl's a time bomb" Nicki eyes turned towards Andrea and Amy, surely they were talking about them.

"What do you suggest?" asked Rick earning a look of disbelief from Daryl.

"Take the shot" he answered "Clean, in the brain from here. Hell, I can hit a turkey between the eyes from this distance"

"God, you can't be serious" said Sarah making Daryl glare at her "We knew her. You can't just shoot her"

"She's dead" Daryl said.

"She was a friend" Sarah exclaimed back.

"Stop" said Lori tiredly "For God's sakes, let Andrea be" Daryl looked between Sarah and Lori before letting out an irritated scoff and walking away.

Nicki looked again towards Amy. She was a friend, but she was dead. Nicki wanted what she would have wanted in Amy's place. Die scared her more than she liked to admit. But becoming one of those rotten things... maybe she was scared of that even more. What would she want in her place? What would Amy want?

"We don't burn them!" Glenn's voice made her turn "We bury them. Understand?" he seemed to be discussing with Daryl and Morales. Glenn wanted to bury their people, as for the walkers they would have burn them. Daryl and Morales looked at each other before starting to drag one of the bodies in the row that they would have buried.

"You reap what you sow" Daryl said.

"You know what? Shut up, man" Morales complained.

"Y'all left my brother for dead" Daryl exclaimed "You had this coming"

"God" Nicki heard Lori say "How are you holding up sweetheart?" she asked making Nicki shrugged her shoulders.

"

Confused" the girl answered.

"Have you slept? Just a bit?" but Nicki shook her head.

"I couldn't" she said "Not even your son, but we'll try to do our best" Lori looked at her with sad eyes.

"I'm so sorry that you-"

"A walker bit Jim!" Jacqui's voice made them all turn in panic as Jim kept repeating that he was okay.

Daryl, Shane and T-Dog tried to reason with him, but Jim took the shovel to keep everyone away from him. He was desperate, like he had been the day before digging the holes in the ground.

T-Dog managed to stop him by the arms as Daryl pulled up his shirt to reveal a bite mark on his side. They all step back looking at the poor man with fear and sadness.

It was like that nightmare was never ending.

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it" Daryl said as they all were all trying to figure out what to do with Jim, that was set down a few feet from them, next to the RV.

"God, again" said Sarah nervously with her eyes closed.

"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane's question made Nicki towards Amy's body. What would she had wanted? What Jim wanted?

"Yeah" answered Daryl looking straight into Shane's eyes "And I'd thank you while you did it"

They all looked at each other and Nicki couldn't help but wondering what they all were thinking about. Whether what to do, or what they would have done in their dead people's place. Daryl had been clear on the choice he would have made. And the more minutes passed by, the more she felt like agreeing. Anything was better than becoming one of those monsters.

"I hate to say it" Dale spoke "I never thought I would, but maybe Daryl is right".

Nicki noticed all of the people around her look at each other in disbelief.

"He is still alive for God's sake!" Sarah whisper-yelled towards the older man.

"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or a rabid dog" Rick said backing up Sarah. Dale observed him with incredulous wide eyes.

"I'm not suggesting-"

"He is sick" Rick kept saying "A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?" Nicki took a breath. Where was the line? Death was walking on earth, what could they do?

"The line's pretty clear" Daryl spoke again "Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be".

Zero tolerance... The girl looked over Jim; his skin was paler than usual and he was starting to swear a bit. If she hadn't seen him before, she would have thought he was alright. But they all had seen what the walkers had did the night before. What if he turned in the middle of the night? They couldn't tie him up, but they couldn't take the chance of being attacked again either.

What did Jim want?

"What if we can get him help?" Nicki looked at Rick as he spoke.

"There's help?" she asked with a little frown.

"I heard the CDC was working on a cure"

The Centers for Disease Control, the national agency that protected people from security, safety and healt threats. She didn't think that it still existed, with the walker and everything.

"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell" said Shane shaking his head.

"You think it's still running?" asked Sarah hopefully, but Rick nodded.

"If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they?" the man said "I think it's our best shot".

"That could actually work" said Sarah looking towards Lori "And maybe they could help Jim" Rick nodded.

"And they could give us shelter, protection..."

"Okay, Rick, you want those things" said Shane interrupting the other cop "I do too, okay?"

Who didn't? If it meant to be safe everyone had walked until the end of the world and back.

"Now if they exist, they're at the army base" Shane kept say "Fort Benning"

"That's 100 miles in the opposite direction" Lori said with a frown, but the man nodded his head.

"That's right"

Of course, they were now stuck between a difficult choice. For Shane Fort Benning was safer, because it was away from the city and it was fully armed. And they all knew having arms meant surviving.

On the other hand, as Rick said the military had already been overrun by the apocalypse and the CDC was their best way of surviving. If it was some kind of virus surely the government would have protected it. But if it was still running why nothing had change since the outbreak? It was getting worse every day.

"You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to do" said Daryl making Nicki frown "Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!" before she could blink the man turned towards Jim with the pickaxe raised above his head, ready to hit.

"Daryl, stop!" Nicki heard Sarah exclaim as Rick run over pointing his gun at Daryl's head.

"We don't kill the living" Rick said sternly.

Nicki left out a breath as she saw Daryl stop. She really thought that he would have smashed Jim's head.

"That's funny coming from a man who just put a gun to my head" Daryl hissed glaring at Rick.

"We may disagree on some things, not on this" Shane said as he put himself between Daryl and Jim "You put it down"

Daryl glared at the two cops before slamming the pickaxe at the ground and walk away.

As Nicki saw Rick taking Jim away from everyone, she couldn't help but think that sooner or later he would have died anyway. Would have he made it to the CDC? Could they really help him there? What were the chances?

"I really thought he would have killed him" Nicki heard Sarah that had step to stay next to her.

"What if he is right?" Nicki said observing Jim getting inside the RV with Rick after the children inside had walked out.

"What?" Sarah asked and when Nicki turned towards her, she noticed the dread in her sister's eyes.

"It's not safe" Nicki answered.

"Death isn't the right solution" Sarah said urgently.

"Right probably not" said Nicki "But right now it's a solution" her eyes went on her sister's bandaged hand. They were miraculously survived; did they really want another threat among them?

"Are you suggesting to kill him?"

Nicki was about to answer when she noticed Amy's body moving. Her eyes were open and she was raising her hand, almost caressing Andrea's hair. It seemed as if she had recognized her, if it wasn't for the fact that she had soon gripped her sister's hand and getting set up she had started to grunt and moving her face trying to bite wherever she could reach. Andrea was speaking to her, keeping her at a little distance before a gunshot was heard and Amy fell on the ground with a hole on the side of her head.

She hadn't recognized her own sister. She had been ready to eat her alive. She didn't have memories, or feelings. Just hunger. And that was the thing that scared Nicki the most. Was still Amy? Did she remember and didn't care? Or was something else? What was that corpse?

"If it was me" Nicki said keeping her gaze on Amy "I would rather be shot, then become one of them".