Coming Home

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."

~C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The phone rang at precisely half past one.

"Yes?"

"It's me."

"Any complications?"

"No, ma'am, everything went exactly according to plan."

"Well done, my dear. And are the preparations for phase two complete?"

"The second phase won't be necessary. Our secondary target is already en route to the rendezvous point with the primary."

"Is that so? Well, well. In that case, I'd better let our client know that his initial instincts were correct. And you'd best get back home; the brat should be there shortly. I'll see you later this evening."

"Yes, Madame."

*click*

Central City Station was packed with civilians, each one eagerly scanning the steady stream of soldiers pouring out of the train cars. Those few soldiers who didn't have anyone waiting to meet them, like Warrant Officer Hawkeye, couldn't help but search the crowd for a familiar face all the same.

Although she smiled sincerely as one young man seized his teary-eyed sweetheart around the waist and spun her in a dizzy circle, something deep in Hawkeye's chest twinged at each tearful embrace or beaming face that wasn't for her.

Moments like this made her keenly aware that the early graduation and transfer that had advanced her career had also torn her away from her peer group at the academy, and that most of these men and women around her were total strangers. A sniper spent the majority of his or her time alone out of sheer necessity, but Hawkeye hadn't even had the option of spending what little downtime she'd had among her former classmates – among comrades who would've at least known her name, rather than strangers who whispered and edged away when she passed.

But none of that mattered, now. The war was over (physically, at least). And that meant that she was free to gather up whatever tattered shreds of her humanity remained and…do what, exactly? Hawkeye wasn't entirely certain.

Stay in the army? Continue bloodying her hands in the name of protecting those that were still as innocent as she'd once been? Go back home to the countryside? Resign her commission and attempt to scratch out a living for herself in the parched earth as so many others had done before her? She had the house, and she could always sell some of her father's books if necessary. Either way, she'd have to make her choice, and soon. If she wasn't willing to accept whatever new assignment they offered, then she would need to submit her resignation.

It would have been nice to talk over things with someone she trusted, someone who could help her weigh the pros and cons to come to a decision. Someone like Major Mustang. Who wasn't even an option, as he'd been avoiding her ever since their painful discussion nearly five days previous, the pragmatic part of her brain reminded her unhelpfully.

But Hawkeye had long been accustomed to looking after her own interests. And she knew she couldn't be the only returning soldier without a friend or family member in the city to offer advice…or even to welcome her home. So there was no use in feeling sorry for herself. With a heavy sigh, Hawkeye shouldered her pack and began making her way toward the nearest exit.

A delighted squeal to her left was her only warning before a pair of arms encircled her rib cage and proceeded to squeeze the air from her lungs.

"There you are!" a familiar voice cried. "Finally!"

"Rebecca!" Hawkeye gasped, her arms coming up automatically to return her friend's enthusiastic embrace. God, she'd forgotten how much she'd missed these hugs. "What are you doing here?"

Catalina tightened her hold for a second, and then released her and bounced back a bit so she could see Hawkeye's face. It hadn't escaped her notice that Hawkeye had used her first name.

"Looking for you, dummy," she replied. "I was starting to think I'd already missed you! Come on, let's get away from all of this insanity," she added, glancing around at the overrun platform.

"H-how'd you even know I was coming in today?" Hawkeye asked, dutifully following in Rebecca's wake as her friend elbowed and shouldered her way through the maddening crowd.

"Lucky coincidence," Rebecca replied cheerfully. "No thanks to you, I might add. Hey, how come you never wrote me back? I've been worried sick about you, you know!"

"I—I didn't even know you'd written," Hawkeye stammered, confused. "I'm sorry if I made you worry."

"I kinda figured you might not have regular mail service all the way out there, but I hoped at least one of them would get to you..." Rebecca said, frowning a little.

"No, I…I didn't receive any letters, actually," Hawkeye confirmed with a furrowed brow. Which was odd, come to think of it. She ought to have heard from her solicitor at the very least. And she'd never heard anything back from her grandfather, either.

"What, nothing?" Rebecca was saying incredulously. "And you didn't think that was strange?"

"I didn't have a lot of leisure time to think about it, to be honest," Hawkeye admitted, a little dryly.

"Fair point," Rebecca conceded. "But still…Ooh, how much you wanna bet they never updated your status from cadet to active solider? You've probably got an overflowing mailbox back at the academy postal annex," she added knowingly.

"Oh, damn. You're probably right," Hawkeye sighed, narrowly avoiding a collision with a young mother holding a baby on each hip.

Though it was the last thing she wanted to worry about right now, Hawkeye knew she'd need to address the mail issue as soon as possible - heaven only knew how many time-sensitive documents were languishing away unread. Had that literary agent managed to find a buyer for those books of her father's? Would they still be interested now, if she'd ignored them for months? Was everything still running smoothly with her house and small property? How many letters had Rebecca sent her, anyway?

"Well, never mind that now," Rebecca said soothingly as they finally reached the wide arches leading out of the crowded station. "We'll get you all sorted out tomorrow. See, I got myself assigned to a boring desk job here in Central once I finished my six-month tour. I've only been here about eight weeks, but I already know exactly which forms you'll need to fill out. And I know which officers will misplace them and which ones will have them stamped and signed and filed in triplicate within the hour," she giggled.

"An admin job? That's great," Riza said sincerely. Hopefully it had kept Rebecca out of most of the fighting. That would mean that her hands at least weren't stained with the blood of innocent men, women and children. She wouldn't be haunted by the faces of the people she'd gunned down.

"Yep, and in the big city too," Rebecca was saying, blissfully ignorant of the dark path Riza's thoughts had just taken. "Although, I've just got word that I'm to be transferred to East City next month. I guess my administrative skills have impressed some hot shot general out there. Here's hoping he's a young, good looking one, huh?"

"Sure," Hawkeye smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Rebecca grimly evaluated the pallor of her friend's skin and the dark circles under her eyes.

"Hey, you hungry?" she chirped, determined to remain cheerful for Riza's sake. "There's a great little café not too far from here. Let's get you something to eat before you pass out. Then I'll help you get settled in your dorm."

"Oh, but—," Hawkeye started to protest. Anticipating her reluctance, Rebecca charged ahead.

"I've taken the rest of the afternoon off on purpose, so no more 'buts' from you, young lady," she interjected, mock-seriously.

"I suppose I could use something warm to drink," Riza admitted, and allowed Rebecca to loop an arm through hers as they finally broke free of the crowd.

Rebecca bullied her into eating half a sandwich with her hot tea at the café before leading the way back to the dorms, chattering about light topics all the while. Hawkeye had to admit that the fresh food was a welcome change from field rations that had comprised the majority of her recent diet. And listening to Rebecca's stories about her officemates was oddly comforting as well – infinitely better than talking logistics for the wholesale slaughter of an entire race and the destruction of their culture.

"They've been billeting a bunch of the new arrivals in my building, lately, so maybe we'll even be neighbors!" Rebecca said hopefully, as they turned their steps towards the military dorms on the east side of town.

Once they arrived, Catalina maneuvered her way to the front of the line, flirting and batting her eyelashes at every obstacle in the way. Hawkeye could never be certain whether it was coincidence or design that her assigned room turned out to be in the same building as her friend.

When they finally reached her room, Riza sank onto the single bed with a deep, bone-weary sigh, and tried not to see the way Rebecca's eyes immediately darkened with concern.

"You've no idea how happy I am to see you," Rebecca said softly, interrupting her own story of a recent disastrous blind date.

"And you've no idea how glad I am that you came to meet me," Riza replied, smiling faintly again as Rebecca flopped down beside her.

"You'd still be fighting your way free of the crowd," Rebecca chuckled. "You're too nice to use your elbows and hips to their best advantage."

"Just because I don't go knocking down little old ladies and small children," Riza retorted. "I meant to ask you before – how did you know I would be there, anyway?" Rebecca frowned.

"Come to think of it, it was a little odd...I mean, I've been keeping an eye out for news of you, ever since you left," she said, shooting her friend a sidelong glance.

Riza knew what she meant. She'd been doing the same, whenever she could - checking the lists of those killed in action for the names of her friends and former classmates.

"Right," was all she said, with a grim nod.

"Well, anyway, when I got back to the office after lunch, there was a letter on my desk, with the list of all the troops due to arrive on today's trains. I figured it got dropped in my box by mistake, but I while I was flipping through it to see who it was meant for, I noticed your name on there. You're the only warrant officer on the list, as it happens, so it stood out. But it also had a little asterisk next to it, which is what caught my eye."

"Really? That is a bit strange..." Riza mused. Perhaps General Grumman had interfered again, somehow?

Although how he could've possibly known that she and Catalina were close, she had no idea. Might he have been keeping tabs on her the whole time she was at school? Or had someone happened to mention it to him in passing at some point? Or was she just being paranoid, and it truly was a happy accident that those particular papers had ended up in Rebecca's hands?

"Yeah, I suppose..." Rebecca agreed, idly toying with the zipper on Hawkeye's standard issue duffle. "But anyway, as soon as I saw it, I took the rest of the afternoon off and rushed down to the station to see if I could catch you."

"I'm glad you did," Riza said softly.

"Me too. It's really good to have you back," Rebecca replied, suddenly serious. "You have no idea how much I –" she cut herself off, abruptly, and bit her lip.

Hawkeye shifted, a bit unsure of herself. Mushy, emotional conversations had never been her forte to begin with, and when you took into account the fact that she'd spent the past nine or ten months actively burying her emotions…but this was Rebecca. She couldn't screw this up.

Riza carefully took her friend's hand between both of her own and waited until Rebecca raised her watery eyes in mild amazement.

"Me too," Riza said seriously, willing Rebecca to understand.

Recovering from her surprise, Rebecca offered Riza a tremulous smile through her tears. Riza smiled back, even as her own eyes filled, and a moment later the girls were clinging to each other, trembling as the tears flowed freely down both of their faces.

Riza wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. But eventually, Rebecca wiped her eyes on her sleeve and cleared her throat. Resting her head on Riza's shoulder, she began to speak.

She told Riza about her tour – glorified babysitting duty, she called it, guarding a major supply line to the Eastern Front. It was a pretty standard assignment for a cadet in the final semester of her academy training, unlike being shipped out right into the thick of the action with the State Alchemists. But they had seen their fair share of trouble all the same, and Rebecca had not escaped quite as unscathed as Riza had hoped. Still, she had had her classmates to support her. They had been in it together, sharing in the experience and watching each other's backs, and helping each other deal with the aftermath of becoming killers.

Once she'd finished, both girls were quiet for a long time.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know I wasn't exactly out in the thick of things, like you were," Rebecca finally said, quietly. "But I think I...I mean, I saw some of the reports coming in from the front lines. And I saw some pretty serious shit go down, too. Maybe I can't really understand exactly what it was like for you out there, living through the very worst of it…but I understand some. So if you ever wanna talk about it, any of it, I'm here to listen. And if you don't, then that's fine too. I just…I want you to know that you don't have to deal with it alone. Not anymore. Okay?"

"Okay," Riza whispered. The little crying jag had left her drained, but also...lighter, somehow. "I've had to keep it locked down for so long, that I...I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it. Not yet," she said after a moment. "But…thank you."

"Hey, what are friends for, huh?" Rebecca replied, straightening up and squeezing Riza's hand. After another long pause, she added: "A bunch of us are going out later tonight, to kind of celebrate and welcome our boys home and stuff. Think you'd be up to joining us?"

"To be honest, it will probably be a while before I feel like celebrating," Riza replied softly, turning her head away. Rebecca gently bumped Riza's shoulder with her own.

"Okay," she said gently. She'd known that Riza would refuse, but felt compelled to ask anyway, just in case."Geez, look how long you let me ramble on and on. And here you're exhausted and probably just want to get settled in; I told you you're too nice to me," Rebecca added teasingly as she stood. "If you change your mind about going out, we'll be down at Jack's all night."

"Thanks. I think I'd rather just sleep for about twelve hours straight, if not longer," Riza replied, only half-joking.

"I bet you're dying to sleep in a real bed, even if it is a military issued one," Rebecca said, smiling. Riza managed a little laugh.

"I'm actually more excited about having a decent shower. Sleeping on cots or even on the ground wasn't really a big deal, but going for days without bathing nearly drove me mad."

"Well, you'll have the bathroom in this section all to yourself," Rebecca smiled. "You're the only one in this corridor at the moment. Promise you'll come find me later if you get lonely, won't you?"

"I will," Riza promised. "Good night, Rebecca."

"See you tomorrow!" Rebecca chirped, and then darted forward to claim one last bone-crushing hug before finally leaving Riza by herself, with only her demons for company.

Alone in the surprisingly spacious bathroom, Riza turned the water as hot as she could stand and let it sluice over her skin. As she lifted her face to the stream, she tasted the salt of her tears on her lips. And for the first time in months, she allowed herself to hope that maybe, just maybe, she'd get through this.

A.N. I just realized how lax I've been in thanking the anonymous reviewers of this story: S.S., Guest, Ba-sing-saying, and shaak ti - thank you all very much! I appreciate each and every one of your comments. And kudos to everyone who spotted my not-so-subtle Harry Potter reference ;)

This chapter was originally much longer, but I decided to break it off here so that I could get it up today...the other half is not cooperating at ALL at the moment, and unfortunately drinking wine and scowling at my laptop has not been of much use. But there will be more to come soon!

xoxo Janieshi