The blackness of night had ebbed into dawn without Jason even noticing. His thoughts weren't on the brilliant colors the morning sunrise filled the sky with but rather he centered on Jake. Jason had spent all night reliving every moment the two had shared and wondering if there would time for them to make more memories. He wiped a stray tear that escaped from his tired eyes at that thought. Jason rolled his neck and shoulders trying to alleviate the stiffness that had taken hold of them from sitting in the hard chair for most of the night. He stretched his long legs and walked across the room to the window. The world below looked so normal. People were streaming in and out of the hospital as if were any ordinary day. He saw people laughing and chatting like they didn't have a care in the world and that angered him.

What had he ever done in his life to be living through this twice? It wasn't bad enough that he had lost his father, the man that had been the center of his world, but now there he was standing on the threshold of it happening again. It just wasn't fair. He had already lost so much – his father, essentially his mother and the idea of losing Jake had a strangle hold on him to the point that Jason felt like he couldn't breathe.

He suddenly wished he hadn't sent Tom home hours ago. At the time he had grown tired of his friend's rambling small talk but now Jason wished for something to fill the deafening silence. Silence that allowed his brain to pull out memories better left not thought about. Yet the images of Erik Morgan bombarded him. Jason gripped the window ledge tightly until his knuckles turned white but that didn't stop his recollections from coming. There he was a little boy tagging along behind his father with his toy tool set in hand mimicking every one of Erik's actions. Jason could still hear the man's booming laughter when he finally realized he had a pint-sized shadow. There were images of his mother, Alison, smiling and laughing as she watched her husband and son working on Jason's first step into racing – building a soap box derby car when he was seven. The pictures of his life with his father and mother clicked off like a slide show he couldn't stop. Jason was torn not wanting to relive those memories but knowing that they were all he had left of a much simpler time in his life. A time when the greatest loss he ever experienced was that of a hamster or some other small creature he had thought he could keep as a pet. Death to him then meant very little but now it hung over his head almost taunting him with the devastation it had the power to cause.

Jason turned his back on the outside world and looked around the room. Just beyond the door the daily hospital activities were now beginning. The overhead paging system sounded now and again and the voices of the nurses and doctors filtered into the quiet spaces of the waiting room. He walked to the end of the hall and got a cup of coffee from the vending machine. As he turned around the television perched on the corner of the nurse's station caught his attention if for no other reason than the sportscaster was talking about the NASCAR points standing. He found himself starring intently at the small screen. There it was – his name. Jason Morgan third in the standings. It was almost bittersweet. Jake had always said that he would make Erik proud and now he was so close to doing just that yet the threat of Jake's dying looming large over his head he couldn't savor his own accomplishment.

Jason stood there for a bit longer listening to the commentary about the NASCAR circuit and tried not to think about Jake's condition would mean to his career. He and Jake stood shoulder to shoulder for the last few years building the team he was the only driver for. Jason couldn't imagine going on without the man who had been as instrumental to him as he had his father. It was like Jake Russell had the Midas touch when it came to the driver's lives he entered. Suddenly a surge of anger resonated through Jason's frame. He had worked long and hard to get where he was now and the idea of it ending so abruptly wasn't something he was ready to deal with. In his heart of hearts Jason knew that without Jake his career would falter. He knew he had the talent to be a damn good driver but he didn't have the knowledge of the inner workings of the circuit to keep him headed in the right direction. Jake was the one with that and without him Jason knew he would go back to being some average Joe never attaining his father's dream – his own dreams.

Jason turned and looked at his reflection in the mirrored glass door all of the sudden feeling ashamed of himself. He still didn't know if Jake was going to live or die and there he was thinking about his damn career. What had gotten into him? When had he become like all of the other drivers who switched teams and crew chiefs when they thought it would be better for their careers? That wasn't who Jason was and more importantly that wasn't who Jake had taught him to be. Jake Russell was loyal to a fault. He had proven that when he remained with Jason and his mother after Erik's death rather than heading off in search of his next big challenge. Jake deserved better than that and Jason knew it. He squared his shoulders not allowing himself to think about his career but rather Jake, the man who was like a father to him, as he went to see if there was finally any word on his condition.

Elizabeth rolled over in bed and groaned as the bright white light of morning peaked through the wide slats of the wooden blinds that adorned her windows. She looked at the clock resting on the night table. It was barely six-thirty in the morning yet she was wide-awake – just as she had been for the better part of the night.

Her intention of staying close to Jake Russell's family the night before had gotten lost in the anger the pulsed through her veins. Between her argument with her father and the heated exchange she had with Billy, Elizabeth knew she wouldn't be much good to anyone. In typical Elizabeth fashion she hopped behind the wheel of her '69 Super Sport Chevelle and tore through the streets of Charlotte hoping to clear her troubled mind, though it hadn't done her much good. She found herself screaming at the top of her lungs trying to vent her frustrations only to have those same screams dissolve into tears that she could only cry alone.

She hated herself for feeling this way. She despised how she had allowed Billy Weston to turn her neat ordered life upside down and back again. For so long she had been content on being just one of the guys yet somehow Billy had been able to crack her defenses and leave her vulnerable. She rolled over and stared up at the white ceiling watching the large fan that hung there. Her eyes followed the circular path as she hoped that it would hypnotize her into forgetting she ever met Billy Weston or that she had planned a life with him. When would the dull ache that had a hold of her heart ever subside she wondered? The memory of Billy lying naked with another woman in the bed he shared with her was seared in her mind. How had she been so blind as to not have seen it coming? Was she that naïve or just that stupid? Elizabeth pulled the black comforter over her head and let out a grunt mad at herself all over again.

Off in the distance she heard the roar of the engines as the drivers on her father's racing team were beginning their days. She remembered when life was much simpler for her. How at that sound she would have been out the door like a shot looking for any reason to be at the track. Just like her father she lived and breathed NASCAR, but now it was a severe reminder of all that she had lost.

Elizabeth shrugged off the thick blankets that covered her body and padded across the room to her bathroom. There was no use thinking about things she couldn't change and she hoped the rushing water of the shower passed her ears would drown out the sounds that still called to her.

Pat Ryan sat at the kitchen table with the local paper open to the sports section. He was reading a short article on what Jake Russell's heart attack would mean to his driver Jason Morgan. Sipping his coffee he scanned the article over and over again. It gave little information on Jake's condition. Overhead he heard the shower in Elizabeth's room begin to run and wondered if the morning would be a better time to approach his daughter about what she knew or could find out about his friend's condition.

He heard her come in late the night before and almost went to talk to her then but stopped himself. At that late hour he wasn't up for going another round with her. It seemed lately that's all they were doing – fighting about one thing or another but last night had been the one of the worst. He was angry with himself for what he had said about her making Billy choose yet he had said it just the same. He wanted to believe that Elizabeth would never do something like that. He wanted to believe that he knew his daughter better than that but with the way she let all facets of racing drop from her life he was beginning to wonder if what Billy told him was really true. That Elizabeth was forcing him to choose between her and his career.

Pat heard the water stop and knew that very soon she would be standing in the kitchen with him. There was a part of him that wanted to pull on his windbreaker and head out to the track avoiding it all. Yet he stayed telling himself that his need to find out about his friend was the only reason when deep down he knew better. He wanted his daughter – his little girl – to talk to him. He wanted her to tell him what was really going on even though he knew she wouldn't.

Pat Ryan had spent his life watching Elizabeth keep her guard up even with him. There was a part of him that couldn't blame her – even understood it. Actually for him most times having her that way had been easier. He was never forced to address any issues between them. They would fight and argue but both would walk away before anything ever was really resolved – just as they had last night. In his heart Pat knew he was at the center of her outburst the night before. She had alluded to that fact without really coming right out and calling him on it. Yet he chose to get his back up and pull rank instead of delving into the deeper issues he and his daughter had. As she entered the kitchen with him looking on Pat wished he were a better man – a better father. "Morning," he mumbled.

"Morning," she returned with a nod. The silent tension that filled the room was thick. Quietly Elizabeth filled her travel mug to the brim with coffee she was in no hurry for another repeat performance of last night with her father. She knew that her mood hadn't improved much through the sleepless night – a fight was inevitable.

"You're off to work early," Pat said looking at the clock overhead.

"I have some unfinished business," she remarked thinking about the young man she left standing alone in the surgical waiting room the night before. It was the first time she had let herself concentrate on him. In some weird way she was thankful for the quarrels with her father and Billy last night, they had given her something else to think about rather than the strange sensations pulsing through her whenever she thought about the handsome blonde.

"Would you mind doing me a favor?" Pat asked as the ringing of his cell phone interrupted them. He looked at the display and saw it was the practice track. "I need to take this."

"And I need to go." Elizabeth didn't even wait for him to motion for her to stay. She was out the door and in her car before Pat Ryan even noticed she was gone.

Melanie took the stack of charts sitting on the edge of the counter and began filing them. She felt a little punchy that morning. She had agreed to double up the night before when another nurse called off sick but now was regretting ever being the Good Samaritan. She was working her way through her third cup of black coffee when she saw Elizabeth approaching the desk. Immediately she took notice that her friend looked as tired as she felt. "Hey."

"Any news on Jake Russell?" Elizabeth questioned without letting Melanie say anymore.

"Good morning to you too," Melanie quipped giving her an odd look. "You okay?" she asked concern evident in her tone.

"Sorry," Elizabeth blushed. "Morning. So what was the outcome of Mr. Russell's surgery?" She was careful to avoid the red head's question. The last thing Elizabeth wanted to do was rehash the thoughts that wouldn't leave her mind alone as it was.

Melanie eyed Elizabeth across the counter carefully. It wasn't unlike her friend to clam up when there was something she didn't want to discuss. More often than not she would poke and prod at Elizabeth until she got at least even a little something out of her but something about the determined expression Elizabeth wore had the young nurse thinking better of it at the moment.

"I just checked with CCU a little while ago when Mr. Russell's son, Jason I think that's his name," Melanie said trying to recall the brief encounter she had with Jason Morgan earlier that morning. The young man wasn't much of a talker so even getting him to reveal his name hadn't been an easy task. "stopped me wanting to know when he would be able to find out news on how the surgery went."

"Was he all night?" Elizabeth asked referring to Jason.

"Yeah I think so."

Elizabeth's heart dropped. Now she wished that she hadn't let her anger get the better of her the night before and that she had stayed to offer some sort of comfort to the blonde she now knew to be named Jason. "How is Mr. Russell then?" she inquired again trying to remove the image of the handsome blonde from her mind.

"He's in critical but stable condition. The surgery took a lot longer than expected but it ended up going well. He's looking at probably a long recovery though."

"I would imagine," Elizabeth concurred recalling the little she had read the night before on his chart said as much. "Is his son, Jason, still around?"

"I'm sure he is. I would think he would be in CCU with him. Why?"

"Well I just wanted to discuss with him some of his options for rehab for his father. You want to meet up for lunch?"

"Sure, that is only if I can crash on the couch in your office for a quick nap. Remind me never to pull a double again," Melanie let out a sigh that was a mixture of a laugh and a groan.

"Will do." Elizabeth patted her friend on the shoulder before heading off to gather a few more pieces of information to present Jake's son with.

Jason had been sitting outside of Jake's room for the better part of an hour now as he watched a parade of white coats stream in and out of the tiny space filled with more diagnostic machinery than they used to work on his race car. He had been relieved to hear that the surgery had been successful but he really wanted to get a look at Jake himself. For Jason seeing was believing.

Absently he rubbed his sweaty palms across his thighs. He looked around the CCU taking in his surroundings. Again it all seemed so normal – doctors and nurses going about their business as if it was just second nature. While for Jason this had been one of the longest days in his life. He stood up and began pacing in front of the door hoping to attract the attention of any one of the people inside Jake's room.

"Mr. Morgan?" a voice called to him from the circular desk in the center of the room. "Jason Morgan?"

"Huh?" He turned and focused his gaze on the older woman behind the desk.

"You have a phone call." She pointed to the white phone that hung on the wall to the right of where she was standing.

For a moment he stared at her with a blank expression on his face trying to make sense out of what she was saying. He was still lost in his own maze of thoughts. "Hello?"

"Jason," Tom's voice permeated his ear. "What's going on man? How's Jake?"

Jason leaned against the wall and let out a labored breath. He had completely forgotten to call Tom and tell him about the outcome of the surgery. He had been so bogged down in the quagmire of his own musings that he never once thought about the other people waiting on news. "He's out of surgery. They say he's stable. But I haven't gotten to see for myself."

"You want me to come down there?" Tom asked feeling a little helpless at the moment. He was standing in the garage looking around at they way they had left everything the night before in their rush to get to the hospital. It felt odd to him to be there without either Jason or Jake and he was looking for a reason not to be.

Jason faltered for a moment not knowing what to say to his friend. He wanted Tom there and yet he didn't. Honestly he didn't know what he wanted at the moment. "Sure," he said finally.

"You need me to bring you anything – a change of clothes or something?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay see you in a bit."

Jason hung up the phone and went back to his post outside Jake's door. "You can go in now if you want. The doctors are finished with their evaluation," the same nurse who had told him about Tom's call said.

Suddenly Jason felt as if his feet had taken root. All he had wanted to do for hours now was just to see Jake but the prospect of doing that scared him. All he could remember was what his father looked like when he and his mother had been allowed to see him one last time. It was a memory that, while Jason knew wasn't repeating itself, was one that he still wasn't able to erase. He pushed down that taunting thought and knocked softly on the heavy wooden door before entering the room.

"Hey," Jake's voice was hoarse.

Jason choked back an impending sob that hung in his throat. There Jake lie hooked up to numerous machines with tubes running from nearly every part of his body Jason could see. He focused his thoughts on the steady rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor – anything to keep himself from going into a state of panic.

"I know I look like Frankenstein but really I don't bite," Jake joked.

Instantly Jason saw the pain that little laugh Jake attempted had caused him. He reached for the chair in the corner of the room pulled it closer to the bed. He settled himself on the hard vinyl wishing he knew what he was supposed to say.

"Scared you didn't I?" the older man asked. "Scared myself," he admitted openly. "Don't look so worried Jas." Jake gave him a slight smile. He could only begin to imagine what hell his young friend was going through. "I'll be as good as new."

"You better be," Jason finally spoke.

"You didn't think you'd be getting rid of me that easily did you? The docs said I might be laid up for a while though. It looks like we are going to have to recruit you another crew chief."

"What? No! No way!"

"Be reasonable son. I know that you and Tom can handle the mechanical end of things but you need someone in your corner – someone looking out for you."

"That's what I have you for."

"Looks like I am going to be a little under the weather – probably for the better part of the rest of the season. You can't let all this year's hard work go to waste," Jake stressed.

"It's going to have to." Jason was determined that if Jake couldn't be by his side as he always had been then he wouldn't be racing at all.

"Jason, you can't be serious. Don't throw your career away." Jake let out a heavy breath.

"I wouldn't have a career if it wasn't for you," the younger man countered. "I do this with you or not at all."

"Jason," Jake sighed exasperated.

Jason took notice of how pale Jake was and immediately sensed that even this little altercation had tired him out. He knew that there was no winning with Jake and they both could be as stubborn as a mule when it came to something they wanted but Jason was certain this wasn't the time for that. "Why don't we talk about this later?" he suggested. "You look like you could use some rest."

"And you need a new crew chief," he persisted.

"Will you rest if I promise to think about it?" Jason offered.

"Only if you are telling me the truth and not just trying to appease an old man," Jake said trying to sound stern.

"No appeasing here." Jason cracked a smile with those words. It had been a long-standing joke between them and that tiny bit of normalcy felt good to him. "You rest," he instructed.

"You do the same. You look like hell!" Jake half chuckled before his eyes fell closed.

Jason stood there watching Jake as he drifted off to sleep. Even though he could see the obvious pain he had been in the fact that Jake tried to make things seem run-of-the-mill ordinary for Jason brought him a sense of calm that only Jake Russell could elicit. Jason turned and left the room. As he shut the door behind him there he was standing face to face with his mother.

Alison Morgan felt her breathing stop for a second as she stood looking into the crystal blues of her son. She was caught off guard by how the years had turned him into nearly the mirror image of his father. It was difficult for her to continue starring at him. Even after all the years the loss of her husband was still so profound for her.

"Mom?" Jason's questioning voice pulled her back to a reality where it was her son in front of her not her husband.

"Hello Jason." She reached out an attempted to embrace him yet Jason pressed his back against the closed door. His actions sent a stabbing pain through her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Jake. How's he doing?"

Jason's heart dropped. There had been no mention of her wanting to see her only son. No matter how hard he tried her indifference to him stung. "He's Jake." Jason said that as though his mother should have understood what it meant. By the confusion on her face he knew she didn't and that please him slightly. He wasn't about to let Alison waltz into a life she had left behind and pick up like she had never been gone.

"He's Jake?" she echoed. "Am I supposed to know what that means?"

Jason knew by the tone of her voice he had struck a nerve – good he thought. "He's being his stubborn ornery self. That's all it means." Jason stated.

"That doesn't really tell me how his surgery went? Was it successful?" she pressed.

"Apparently, I haven't really talked to any of his doctors yet."

"Why not?" Alison said in almost accusatory fashion.

Jason stuffed his hands in his pockets and hardened his stare as his eyes came to rest on his mother's face. "I've been a little busy worrying about my friend."

"Don't you mean busy worrying about your career?" Those words flew out of Alison's mouth before she had time to stop them.

Jason recoiled as though he had just been punched in the stomach. He stared at her incredulously that she thought that little of him. "I don't give a damn about my career!"

"Please Jason don't lie to me," Alison stopped him. "You are all about your career. If you weren't you would have stopped when I asked you to."

"You didn't ask you demanded. And when I didn't comply you treated me like some forgotten toy you didn't care about anymore." Jason felt the rage he had for so many years been keeping in check bubbling to the surface.

"That's not true! I did care that's why I wanted you to stop this foolishness – foolishness that got your father killed!" Alison cried trying to justify her actions to a son who wasn't buying it. "I love you Jason." She reached out to touch his arm but he tossed her hand away. "Jason!" she cried again.

"What mom? You expect me to fall into your arms like you haven't been gone from my life for years now? You think that by showing up here it somehow wipes the slate clean? It doesn't!" Jason's heated voice was drawing the attention of the nurses standing at the desk. Suddenly he was forced to remember where they were and that Jake was lying in a bed in the room behind him. The last thing Jake needed right now was the feeling as though he had to play referee to Jason and his mother. "Let's go!" he instructed pulling Alison by the arm leading her away from Jake's room.