American Crime Stories

Arc two, Chapter sixteen

TWELFTH PRECINCT - GATES'S OFFICE

Esposito, Ryan and Beckett were silently standing in front of Gates' desk listening to their Captain's rant. "Detective Beckett, I told you at our first meeting that my precinct was no place for vendettas. And what did you do? Withholding evidence, lying to a superior officer? What you did dishonors this city and dishonors the badge. Not only are you off this investigation, you're suspended effective immediately." Ryan and Esposito looked at each other shocked. True, they had followed their squad leader directions and didn't tell Gates' immediately about the evidence linking their current case with Beckett's shooting. However, in the end they had come to her. Well, Ryan did. Esposito's part of their plan was to stick to Beckett to keep her safe. They didn't think that they would be punished that severely. As they looked at each other Esposito could see Ryan's unasked question whether they should object. He shook his head. This was not the time for it as their Captain was clearly upset. Beckett 'though started to object, "Sir –", before she was cut off.

"Don't you 'sir' me! You don't deserve to wear the uniform. Now, hand over your badges and guns and then get out of my precinct." Well, that was harsh and unfair. The male detectives reacted to that statement accordingly. They took their badges from around their neck and their guns from their hips and threw them on the desk.

However, Beckett didn't move but stared at Gates.

"Detective Beckett?" Gates asked pointedly. Beckett took her gun from her arm holster and dropped it on Gates's desk. She took a bit longer to remove her badge, holding and staring at it while she was running her finger over the leather. Beckett was furious. She really wanted to throw her badge at the older woman but she just dropped it next to her gun. "Keep it. I resign," Beckett said, turned and left the room leaving behind three shocked occupants.

TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN

A little while later Beckett was packing her bag. Putting all her knickknacks into it, she made it clear that she didn't intent to come back. She didn't acknowledge Esposito's and Ryan's presence. She started to walk away but stopped a few feet from her desk. She turned around and looked one last time at her desk and the chair beside it. After a few seconds she walked away without saying anything.

"So, what do we do know?" Ryan asked Esposito.

"Don't know, bro. Let's go, 'though. I don't want to be here any longer." Esposito said and threw an angry look into their Captain's office.

"Yeah, you're right. We should also call Castle and tell him what happened."

PLAYGROUND

It was raining hard, but it didn't really bother Beckett. She sat on the swings with the one next to her empty. It was the one Castle had sat on a few months ago when they had talked after his book signing. She thought about Castle.

Flashbacks:

"After my mother was killed, something inside me changed. It's like I built up this wall inside. And I don't know, I guess I just didn't want to hurt like that again. I know I'm not going to be the kind of person that I want to be, I know that I'm not going …"

"I'm not going to have the kind of relationship that I want until that wall comes down. And it's not going to happen until I put this thing to rest."

"Then I suppose we're just going to have to find these guys and take them down."

"I lied to YOU? That's funny coming from you, Beckett. And you want to know how I could do this? Easy, because I loved you! But you already knew that, didn't you? You've known for about a year."

"I just kept you alive, because I cared about you."

"Really? You care about me, Castle? You cut a deal for my life like I'm some kind of a child. My life. Mine. You don't get to decide."

"Ready for what? To die for your selfish cause?"

"You're delusional, Beckett."

"In the end, the only thing that matters to you is that the brave bad-ass Beckett caught her personal boogeyman. Consequences be damned!"

"You're right, Kate. It's your life. You can throw it away if you want. I'm done."

"I pray to God that you won't take anybody else with you into the abyss. Goodbye, Detective."

End flashbacks

Minutes later, Beckett was still sitting alone on the swings while the rain dropped down on her.

MARLOWE PREP – GRADUATION OF CLASS 2012

Although he felt a touch of melancholy, Castle smiled genuinely at Alexis' graduation ceremony. His daughter had helped him through his anger at Beckett and made him a precious gift.

Flashback:

CASTLE'S LOFT

Castle opened the door from his office and looked around, seeing his target sitting on the couch. Smiling he walked around to the side of the couch; his target still oblivious, immersed on something on her iPad. Suddenly the laser gun on the table next to his target went off, startling Alexis.

"Dad! What are you doing?" She yelled, surprised. Smirking Castle dropped the other vest on the couch. "You have 30 seconds to suit up."

"I –"

"A game is afoot."

"Dad –"

"Wait. Let me savor this. I haven't got the drop on you since you were 10." Castle posed for a moment. "Oh, this feels like … victory."

"Dad, look. I can't, okay? I have a big decision to make." Castle looked at his daughter outwardly calm, inwardly frowning. He sighed and took off his laser tag gear and at down next to his daughter.

"Well, have you at least narrowed it down?"

"I made a list of all the classes and extra circulars. And the best choices seem to be Oxford and Stanford."

Castle felt the pain every parent feels (or should feel) when their beloved child is leaving the nest. Especially when said child plans to go very far away.

"What about Columbia? NYU? Vassar?"

"They're all too close. I'd come home all the time. I want to challenge myself. And I'd get sucked into things like this." Alexis said holding up her laser tag gun, not seeing see the hurt and pain her words brought on her father's face.

"But then who's gonna play with me?" Castle whined, only half-seriously.

Alexis was silent for a moment, organizing her thoughts. "I think it's time to holster the laser guns and be adults," she replied softly, standing up and kissing his temple before walking away.

He watched silently as his daughter walked away. The writer in him saw the metaphor of the situation. He sighed and looked at the gear and deactivated it. "Game over. Please proceed to exit," a computerized voice said. He stood up to put away the equipment and was surprised when he heard his mother's voice. "Oh, darling. It's just a game." He sighed.

"No, it's not. It's a time honored family tradition that we've been honoring since Alexis could wrap her little finger around a trigger. First one to a thousand points wins. And we were so close. We laser tagged our way through her preteen years and now, suddenly, she's too old to play"

"She's growing up."

"Well she doesn't have to. Look at me," he deadpanned.

Next day, Castle and his mother came back from an errand at her studio. When he walked into the loft, it took him a moment to realize that something was out of place. He looked around for a moment to check. When he saw the object what was wrong. "I thought I – I thought I put this away." Castle picked up his laser tag vest just in time to see his mother backing away slowly with a sly smile on her face. It took him a moment before he understands what was going on. He looked around the room quickly. "Where is she? Where –" He was interrupted by the pad going off and Alexis rappelling from the ceiling with a diabolical laugh.

"You were fooled by my act yesterday and now you've fallen right into my trap," she said mimicking a villain in a cheesy movie. His heart swelled at seeing his daughter rappelling from the ceiling, but he had enough awareness to react accordingly. "You will pay dearly for your treachery." He turned to his mother, "E tu, Mother? For luring me here?" He looked at his mother lovingly.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" Martha asked innocently.

"Ah. That's my girl."

They played a few rounds of laser tag for a few days, enjoying their time together and trying to forget the pressures of real life. But like everything else, their game had come to an end.

"Victory is mine. One… thousand… points. And that is the icing on the cake that has been my day," Castle said and acted like he was blowing the smoke from his gun.

Alexis looked sadly at her father. "That's it? It's over?" She sat down on a chair.

"What's wrong, pumpkin?"

"I know it sounds childish and stupid, but we started this game when I was five years old. And now it's over. And I'm going to graduate soon, leave for college and I'll be there and you'll be here and we can play at Christmas and during the summer, but it won't be the same, will it?"

"No, it's not. But you know what? Things change. And change is good." Alexis looked incredulously at her father, making Castle pause for a moment thinking of his daughter going off to college soon. "Well, sometimes it is."

Alexis was silent for a moment. Then said, "I can't do it."

"Do what?"

"Go that far away. I want to go away, but not that far. And I hate myself for it, because my personal motto is do the thing that you fear the most, but every time I get ready to hit the accept button on my acceptance to Oxford or Stanford I – I get all sick inside."

Castle looked at his daughter, seeing the effort it took his little girl to confess that to him. They had spoken often enough about that topic over the years. He was torn on what to do. They both knew that he didn't want her to go too far away – like Stanford or Oxford. In turn, she had always argued the need for independence. Looking at Alexis now, his heart ached for the pain on her face. He could tell her what HE wanted her to do or he could give her sound fatherly advice. It didn't take him long to decide.

"Well you … follow your heart. Follow your heart and you can't go wrong."

It's Alexis turn to look at her father. She instantly realized what her father had done and what it had cost him. That helped her to make the decision. "And my heart is telling me … go to Columbia."

Hearing these words, it took him a lot to control himself. To not stand up and cheer like he had just scored the Super Bowl deciding touchdown.

"But here's the other thing. If I do this you have to promise not to drop in on me. If I do this, you have to give me my space. Do you think you can do that?"

Castle took a deep breath and looked Alexis straight into the eyes. "I think I can give a sincere and solemn oath … to … try." Alexis smiled at her father's words. They both knew that she wouldn't have believed him if he had consented instantly. She smiled and looked down for a moment, thinking about her next words. Then she looked her father in the eyes. Suddenly she shot her father in his laser tag vest. "Best two out of three," she proclaimed and ran away. Castle was stunned, but only for a moment. "This isn't over!" He yelled at her, a beaming smile on his face.

Flashback end

"And next our valedictorian will give her speech. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Alexis Castle!" Alexis stood from her seating place and walked to the podium. Rick and Martha were clapping for 'their' girl, they were very proud that Alexis had been selected as valedictorian. Next to Castle were Jordan and Lacey who Rick had invited to come. He had told Jordan that he wanted Lacey to see what her graduation would look like in four years. It had taken a moment for Jordan to understand what he meant. Then she had looked suspicious at him asked him what he had done to convince the Dean of Admission to change his mind. It had taken a while to convince her that he hadn't paid the Dean of with money. He told her that they only had a conversation. "I'm sure the organizers will be happy for your regular and frequent participation and volunteering for any parent-teacher days, bring-your-kids-to-work-days or any other activities and field trips," Castle told her, not being able to hide his smirk. Especially after Jordan groaned annoyed.

Also in attendance of the ceremony were Marcus Steel, who didn't want to miss his goddaughter's graduation, his wife, Margret, and their two daughters, 30 year old Samantha, and 27 year Barbara. Next to them sat Abby Gibson and her grandparents Gino and Mary Rossetti.

Castle focused on the presence and listened with rapt attention at his daughter's valedictory address. "There's a universal truth that we have to face, whether we want to or not. Everything eventually ends. As much as I've looked forward to this day, I've always disliked endings. The end of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable. Leaves fall, we close the book, you say goodbye. Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar. Everything that was comfortable. We're moving on. But just because we're leaving, and that hurts, there are some people who are so much a part of us they'll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground. Our north star. And the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us. Always."

The audience started to clap. Rick was so proud of his daughter. She may not want to be a writer like her old man but she had a way with words. Alexis gave him a small wave from the podium. He was especially touched at her using 'Always' to close her speech, as he knew that it was meant for him, and him alone. Jordan looked to him and could clearly see the pride and love the writer had for his daughter. It brought home something she had only guessed before: for all the accomplishments Richard Castle had achieved in his professional life, there was absolutely nothing he was more proud of than his daughter. Alexis was his most treasured price. Shaw realized that there wasn't anything that Castle wouldn't do for his daughter. This was a realization that would show to be the truth in the future.

CASTLE'S LOFT

Later that evening, Rick, Jordan and Lacey were sitting in his living room, playing board games. They decided against watching movies, at least for now. They had talked about the ceremony and Alexis' valedictorian speech.

"You're really proud of her, aren't you?" Lacey asked.

"Yes!" Castle stated vehemently. "Despite all the school activities she took part in to build a list of resume, she graduated top of her class. And let me tell you, she did a lot of those: there was playing the violin, fencing, serving in a class advocate role in student government, cheerleading and serving as an assistant manager of the school play." Castle listed off Alexis activities. "And that's not all. She also worked a school project at the precinct and spent the latter half of her senior year as an intern with the Medical Examiner's office. Furthermore, she attended two summer programs including one co-ed program at Princeton and she had taken several AP classes to get sufficient credits to graduate high school a semester early. Clearly, my daughter is an over-achiever. How could I not be proud of her?"

His phone rang. "Ah, speaking about the devil." He accepted the call. "Hey pumpkin." The Shaw women listened to his side of the conversation. They smiled at Castle enthusiasm when talking with his daughter.

"No Alexis, I'll be fine. I told you that Jordan and Lacey were keeping me company… We're playing scrabble at the moment… Hey, it wasn't my idea. They thought they had a chance to beat me… Yes, I know that I've got a thousand cable channels to watch… You have fun. I will not worry about you until lunchtime tomorrow…. I love you, too." He turned to the Shaw's. "Alexis is having fun at her party. She also told me that it was unfair for us to play scrabble as I was getting payed for working with words. She said that I should offer you the reigns to our cable channels and movie collections. So, what do you say?" They discussed this for a few minutes and decided to watch 'Ocean's Eleven', because "everybody loves a good heist movie" (Castle), "George Clooney/Brad Pitt are hot" (Jordan/Lacey).

The three had fun watching the movie, making comments at different times which made the others laugh. As one could imagine, it was mostly the Shaw women rearing in laughter about something Rick had said.

Near the end of the film the movie, Rick's home phone rang. "Sorry, that's the building security." "Castle." Watching Castle, Jordan could see his smile vanishing from his face. "No, tell her that I am unavailable… You, too." Whoever it was who tried to visit him, Castle didn't want to see that person. She looked at him questioningly, but he just shook his head.

A little while later Lacey went to bed. They had decided that the Shaw's would spend the night in Castle's guest rooms.

Castle and Shaw were sitting in the living room enjoying a glass of wine and talking. Castle looked over to Shaw. It was time to talk about the other reason he had invited Shaw. He sighed.

"Look Jordan, I have a confession to make. I did not just invite you and Lacey to keep me company, but I have a request." Shaw reacted immediately and Castle could see the apprehension settle on her. Castle could see that Shaw wasn't very happy, but it seems that she would give him enough time to explain himself. Castle stood up. "Look, when they arrested me for Gina's murder, I told everyone that I had been at home at the time of her murder." Shaw remembered and nodded, 'though she didn't like where this was going.

"I lied," Castle confessed bluntly.

"WHAT? WHY?" Shaw exploded. She wanted to rant at him and tell him that if he had told the truth, the detectives could have investigated other possibilities from the get go. Furthermore, he could have spared himself, his family and even her a lot of aggravation. However, she realized that Castle would have known all that and that he had to have a good reason to lie in that situation.

Shaw turned to Castle. "Explain," she demanded. Her eyes and body language told him that he should hurry because her patience was running out. Castle simply nodded. He realized that he was talking to Agent Shaw now, and not Jordan.

"Please, understand, I'm not vague for no reason. I'm going to be as straight with you as I can while I explain things. Alright?" Shaw nodded.

"A while ago I contracted some people to find a person of interest to me and they did. The night Gina…" Castle paused. "That night, I had a…, well, let's call it a meeting with said person and my contractors. For reasons I don't want to explain right now, I decided not to tell anyone during that investigation right away. You are smart woman, Jordan. You should easily understand how important that meeting had to be, for me not to use it as an alibi for the killing of my ex-wife."

She thought about the few things he had said in that vague manner. Shaw also watched him closely and could see how serious he was. She realized something. "You won't tell me more right now, do you?"

"No," he told her bluntly. "It's not that I don't trust you or anything. Otherwise, I wouldn't have told you anything at all." Castle sighed. "Tomorrow, Alexis and Mother are going to our house in the Hamptons where they will stay for an unspecified time until the matter is resolved." He was silent for a moment to let Shaw think about his statement. From her look Castle could see that she understood the implied message. He wanted his family away – safe.

"Here I come to the request I asked you for. I want you to be part of a briefing where I'll lay down all the facts I have of a private investigation before you and several other people." Shaw thought for a moment. Castle was looking dead serious.

"Did you break any laws?" He gave no answer but that was answer enough. Great, she thought. "Who else will be at the meeting?"

"I have already invited some members of the NYPD, the DA's office and of other federal agencies."

"Beckett and her team, I suppose."

"No, they are not part of this briefing." His answer intrigued her but she decided not to follow up on it.

"Alright, Castle. I can see that this is important, but I'm not happy about some things you just told me or better, haven't told me. When do you think you will hold that meeting?"

"I know, Jordan, and I'm sorry. Not only for the fact that I lied to you while you were helping me, but also for the fact that I can't tell you more, at least for the moment. Oh, I'm also sorry that I brought this evening to such a serious ending."

"It's alright, well, not really. But you have your reasons and I'm looking forward to learn more about them."

CASTLE'S LOFT – Next morning

Jordan Shaw prided herself on many things. First and most importantly, she was a good mother. She also was a smart and accomplished woman, a decorated Special Agent for the Federal Bureau of Investigation. She had the looks of a thirty year old even though she was over forty. But one thing she definitely was not: a morning person. She closed her eyes and buried he head under the pillows. She looked down at her watch and saw it was close to ten. She sighed and got out of bed. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed again. She looked like a mess. Her makeup was smeared, her hair looked like a red birds nest. She combed her fingers through her hair and walked to the bathroom to freshen up. When she walked down stairs she paused for a moment. She saw Rick in the kitchen making pancakes, Lacey sat at the bar watching him.

She also saw Martha trying to take care of Alexis who looked like she had had a rough night.

"How about some tea? Tea can be very soothing," she heard the older woman ask. Alexis moaned. "No. No tea."

"No tea?"

"No tea."

Jordan walked down the rest of the stairs and greeted everyone with a "Good morning". She got a similar reply back from everyone – except Alexis who just moaned again. She took in Alexis' demeanor. "Alexis, are you hung over?" She definitely looked like it.

"Well, the graduation festivities went on a bit longer than she had anticipated," Martha stated calmly but with a smile on her face.

Castle walked up to them. "Well, Alexis … as your father I have to say that I am deeply disappointed in you." He said and everybody, except Alexis, looked at him surprised. "And yet oddly proud." He added with a smile and his mother and the Shaw's chuckled.

Alexis just groaned. "My head is pounding."

"Oh honey. I'll get you a couple of aspirin," Martha said and turned towards the stairs. She stopped when her son said. "No, no, no! No aspirin." All women looked at him strangely.

"What do you mean? Why not?" Martha asked.

"Well, it's her first hangover. I mean, this is a milestone. A rite of passage. Don't you think she should experience it in its fullness, untrammeled by the relief of over the counter pain relievers?" He asked seriously but couldn't hold the straight face when he saw the looks of the others. Alexis just groaned again.

"No? Okay." He put his hands in his pocket, pulled out a bottle of aspirin and handed it to his daughter. "Aspirin it is, pumpkin."

Alexis sighed and dropped her head to her arm.