Pensively Jason rested his hand on the door to Jake's room and pulled it back suddenly as he had done several times in the last few minutes. Each day that he came to visit brought him one day closer to having to watch Jake leave for Texas with his mother. That thought literally made his stomach twist into a ball of tightly wound string that laid there like a hard rock. Jason was thankful that Jake's condition was steadily improving. That's all he had wanted from the night that he had been wheeled into the emergency room when there was the question if Jake would make it or not. Yet it was difficult for him to make peace with the fact that Jake was leaving him. Jason knew how infantile those thoughts were. He had even berated himself for them but they were still there taunting and teasing him to no avail.

Jason let out a deep breath pushing the mangled feelings to the back of his mind and pasted a smile on his face as he finally forced open the door. He saw Jake staring out the window. Over their years of being together Jason was able to read his friend's posture. He knew that Jake was deep in thought. He wondered if maybe he was having second thoughts about leaving for Texas tomorrow. "Hey," Jason said alerting Jake to his presence.

"Ah Jason." Jake turned and gave him a faint smile. He had been standing staring out over the hospital parking lot for over an hour now trying to come up with a viable way to get Jason to see that joining Ryan Racing was in his best interest. So far he had come up with very few arguments that he knew would sway the younger man to his way of thinking.

"So you all packed?" Jason asked motioning to the black bag sitting on the end of the hospital bed.

"Getting there."

"Are you sure about this? I mean Texas and my mom?" Jason couldn't stop himself from asking the question. If anything he wanted so badly for Jake to tell him he wasn't going anywhere.

"It's for the best Jas. The quicker I get this damn rehab done the sooner I can get back here and to you. You can't afford me being laid up for the rest of the damn season. Speaking of the season," Jake was looking for any sort of segway into mentioning the deal he had laid out with Pat Ryan.

"I don't give a damn about the season Jake. We have been over this a million times now. I do this with you or I don't do it at all."

"Have you taken leave of all of your senses, man?" Jake's frustration was starting to show. "That's ridiculous. You can't just pick up and quit cause I'm not there to hold your hand. You're better than that and you know it!"

"I'm not quitting," Jason retorted.

"The hell you aren't. You are quitting – tucking your tail between your legs and running home. I never thought you were a quitter Jason Morgan."

Those words stung. Jason almost winced in physical pain. What Jake thought of him meant everything to Jason and the idea that he believed him a quitter hurt. Why couldn't Jake just see that he couldn't imagine himself racing without Jake there? It wasn't that he wanted to quit. If anything he would have given his eye teeth to finish out the season and prove his prowess. He wanted it so much he could almost taste it but the thought of doing it without Jake almost paralyzed him. "You know I'm no quitter, Jake."

"Then prove it – keep racing. I made a deal with Pat Ryan for you to join Ryan Racing until I am back on my feet… …"

Jason shook his head in disbelief. Had Jake just said he was supposed to join the Ryan team? He had to have misunderstood. "What? What was that?"

Jake shot a determined stare in Jason's direction before confirming what he just said. "I made a deal with Pat Ryan. You can run under his name until I am back on my feet. Everything stays the same – same sponsors you already have. Same race schedule we had already set up you will just be listed under their roster now."

"The hell I will!"

"Jason hear me out," Jake began as he assembled the long list of reasons he had organized in his brain why this was a good thing the instant Pat had agreed.

"There's nothing you can say that's going to make me change my mind. If you think that I would ever race for the likes of Ryan – well I might have to have the doctors give your head the once over."

Jake found himself laughing at that remark even though he wished he hadn't. That's probably what Pat Ryan had been thinking that day when he received the call Jake placed. "You think you're funny huh?" Jake asked. "I need my head examined. Is that what you think?"

"Yeah, if you are seriously suggesting that I join Ryan Racing. What makes you think I want to be tied to the likes of Pat Ryan and Billy Weston of all people? You know as well as I do their reputation. I want no part of that!"

"I think you are letting one bad apple spoil the whole barrel. Yes Billy Weston – well he's a snake. But he's only one driver out of many that drives for Pat. You are letting him have more power than he should. If you give up and walk away now you are letting him win. Is that what you want? Do you really want to let Weston win by default because there isn't another racer out there up to his caliber? Wouldn't you like to knock him off that high horse he's been sitting on?"

"Yeah like that would ever happen. He's Ryan's golden boy. Pat covers his ass left and right. You really think that he's going to take kindly to me bringing the prick down a peg or two?"

"I think that Pat won't care as long as it's one of his drivers crossing the finish line with the checkered flag flying over the hood of his car. Pat's covering for Billy because he knows what an asset he is to his team in the win column but with you added to the mix well let's just say it gives things a nice twist."

Jason crossed his arms over his chest. It made little difference to him all of Jake's reasoning for Jason being part of Ryan Racing. What stood out front and center in his head was that he would be there without Jake. That's what all of this boiled down to for him. He couldn't see himself racing without Jake. Jake had been there through thick and thin. When he was racing on the ammeter dirt tacks before moving on to the asphalt then finally entering the NASCAR arena. Jake had been there through it all. Jake was the one constant that Jason had come to depend on. It would be hard to imagine sitting behind the wheel of his car whizzing around the track at nearly 200 miles per hour and having someone else's voice coming through his head set. He just didn't think he could do it.

"Why can't you see that you deserve to finish out the season? You have busted your ass this year Jason to get where you are and why throw it all away now just because you don't happen to see eye to eye with Pat Ryan. You don't have to like the man to race for him."

Jason gave Jake a funny look. For Jason respect was everything and he certainly didn't respect Pat Ryan much less like him. Racing for him would be a tough pill for Jason to swallow. So tough in fact that he knew he couldn't do it. "I just think we should leave well enough alone."

"NO! The hell we will. I won't let my being laid up mess with your career!" Jake's guilt for the situation that he felt his health created came shining through.

"To hell with my career. You come first Jake. You are my family. The track will be there next year."

"NO!"

"So what are you saying you don't think I am a good enough driver to take some time off and come back stronger next year?" Jason questioned with shock in his voice.

"That's not the point Jason. You shouldn't have to wait for next year. And no of course I know that you are strong enough driver to come back like hell fire next year. I'm just saying that you shouldn't have to, son. Aren't you getting that yet? Pat is giving you the opportunity to keep driving… …"

"And what does he want in return?" Jason cut him off. He fully believed that Pat Ryan didn't do anything without an ulterior motive.

"It's a favor to me. Pat and I go way back and I called in a marker," Jake said knowing that that really wasn't a true statement but he was willing to say just about anything to get Jason to see his way clear to continuing with his season.

"Well you wasted the marker Jake. I won't race for Pat Ryan."

"Jason please think about what you are saying."

"That's all I have done is think about it. NO! If you can't be there than I don't race."

Alison walked in on the tail end of the conversation. Those last words her son uttered were like music to her ears. Something she had waited many years to hear. "Did I hear you right?" she began unable to stop herself. "Did you say you aren't racing anymore?"

Jason heard the gleeful lilt in her tone. He turned to stare at her with his ice blue eyes knowing that by the look on her face he had just made his mother's day and that only angered him all the more. "This is a private conversation mom. If you don't mind?" he motioned to the door hoping she would take the hint and leave.

"I do mind Jason," she said taking the stance that she was his mother. "I want an answer to my question. Are you done with racing?"

"Yes … No," Jason and Jake said in unison.

"Which is it?" she asked.

"I won't race without Jake."

"Damn stubborn fool!" Jake huffed.

Alison was over come with a sense of relief. That after all these years she was getting what she wanted. She was getting her son back. Taking leave of her senses she rushed forward and claimed Jason in her arms. He stiffened under her grasp. "Oh that's wonderful news. I have waited for you to come to your senses about all of this. I love you Jason!" she gushed pulling back only to be met with her son's hardened stare.

"You are unbelievable – you know that?" he stared at her incredulously. "Do you really think that this has anything at all to do with you? I stopped basing my life decisions on you the minute you turned me out to pasture like some old horse you no longer had any use for. This is between me and Jake and it's going to stay that way. Whether I do or don't race – well mother you have no bearing on that!" Jason turned around and looked at Jake and almost opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it. Their argument would only escalate with his mother in the room and that was the last thing either of them needed.

Jake watched Jason blow out of his room leaving the door swinging wildly in his wake. His last statement ringing in his ears 'whether I do or don't race……' . Those six words gave Jake the tiniest amount of hope that there was a chance to get Jason to come around to his way of thinking.

Jason let out a ragged breath as he leaned against the wall adjacent to the door of Jake's hospital room. He stared straight ahead trying to gather up the turbulent emotions that both Jake and his mother had brought forth in him. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand replaying the joy Alison's face held when she thought that he wouldn't be racing anymore. No matter the amount of time that had passed it all still came down to the fact that she couldn't accept his life. That she would pretend she didn't have a son rather than dealing with the choices he had made. Jason let out a frustrated groan upset that no matter how much he hated it his mother could still get to him.

He glanced sideways at Jake's room one more time. He didn't want to walk away knowing that by tomorrow this time Jake would be well on his way to Texas. That thought physically pained him. It would be so strange for Jason. Jake had always been there. In the garage, at the track, standing on his back porch grilling steaks for him and Tom – Jake was everywhere Jason turned. How was he supposed to exist without the constant Jake had become? More importantly how the hell was he supposed to do what Jake wanted? How was he supposed race for Ryan Racing even if it was in name only as Jake stressed – which Jason had his doubts where that was concerned.

He struggled with warring voices in his head. One shouted all the things that he knew to be logical while another spouted all the irrational emotional feelings that Jason had for Jake. The tug of war that was taking place inside of him had the potential to literally tear him in two. The fine line that divided Jason from Jake and Jake from racing and in turn Jason from racing had him feeling like he was caught in the cross hairs of a hunter's rifle – knowing no matter which direction he turned he was about to take a shot.

Jason wondered down the hallway to a small sitting area and let his tired body fall against the bright orange fabric that covered one of the two sofas. He tried to align his thoughts with what Jake wanted for his career. It was difficult at best even though he knew that in all the years Jake had been guiding his pursuit of racing he had never steered him wrong. But the idea that Jake wanted Jason to race for Pat Ryan – on the same team as Billy Weston definitely had him questioning Jake's sanity. If Jake had asked him to join Ryan Racing under different circumstances – like Jake being right by his side he might have momentarily considered it but that wasn't the case. Jason would be there alone left to fend for himself without Jake for back up. He didn't think – no he knew he couldn't do that.

Jason looked to the end of the corridor thinking about Alison being in the room with Jake, the place he wanted to be. How had a woman who had abandoned him for his choices suddenly found her way back into a life that she despised? But she wasn't really in his life – not really. What she was doing though was ripping it to shreds all over again. All under the guise of helping Jake, she was taking Jake away from him. In the back of Jason's mind he knew that Jake's health came first but there was a part of him that couldn't imagine that some rehab facility in North Carolina wouldn't have been just as good for Jake's recuperation. Why was it he had to travel half way across the country to get better?

Once more he felt like a spoiled child but the thought of his mother spiriting Jake away from him brought up many issues for Jason he wished would have stayed buried. All of the sudden Jason was twenty years old again standing before his father's fresh grave wondering how he was supposed to go on without him. In so many ways this was the same for him. No Jake wasn't dead but there was a part of Jason that felt like he was. The images of Erik Morgan that Jason carried in his head came forward and skimmed passed his mind's eye. From him being a toddler with Erik chasing him around the front yard, Erik teaching him how to drive many years before it was ever legal for Jason to be behind the wheel, Jason covered in grease and oil over every visible part of his body and all the times that Jason was the first person Erik bear hugged when he had won a race.

He tried not to think about how much he loved racing. How the sights and smells of the track coursed through his veins. The thoughts of his father only reinforced all those things for Jason. His greatest desire still was to achieve what his father had died trying to do. Jason wanted a Winston Cup. He just didn't know if he could do what it might take to get it.

Tom looked around the garage. An eerie silence hung in the air. It was deathly quiet and that unnerved him. Normally this close to race day the garage would be a buzz with activity. The radio would be blaring some driving metal beat that Jake would be bitching about saying that he felt like his head would vibrate off his shoulders. Tom smiled thinking about how that would only make him and Jason turn it up another notch. Each one of them would have their tasks in getting the car ready for the punishment that it would sustain with Jason at the wheel. Tom missed the ritual and normalcy of it all. Even though Jason said in no uncertain terms he wouldn't be racing in the upcoming event Tom found himself flipping on the radio and grabbing a wrench heading for the car that sat tucked neatly in the corner of the garage. He bent over the engine compartment and went to work as he would have usually done.

Jason stopped short once he saw Tom hovering next to his race car. He felt a pang of longing wishing that Jake wasn't sitting back in his hospital room but rather just out getting some part they needed. Jason shook his head to rid himself of that self-delusion. "Hey," he said as he walked deeper into the garage.

"Hey," Tom returned as he wiped his hands on a rag. "How's Jake doing?"

"Good. He's going to be released tomorrow."

Tom studied his friend. Even though Jason hadn't said much about Jake going back to Texas with his mother how he felt was written all over his face. Tom wanted to have some words to make it better but he knew that he didn't. "I couldn't help myself," Tom said as he motioned toward the car. "It felt weird be standing here and not working on it."

"I know," Jason agreed. He looked at the large blue machine sitting pristinely before him. He itched to get behind the wheel but stopped himself. There was no reason to torment himself.

"Are you sure about not running in the race?" Tom finally asked.

Jason hesitated with his answer. Standing there alongside his car had him questioning his decision. "You will never guess what Jake wants me to do."

"What?"

"You better be sitting down for this," Jason offered Tom one of the rolling stools from the other side of the room.

"This should be good."

"Oh it is. He wants me to race for Ryan Racing."

Tom's eyes widened at that comment. "Excuse me?"

"Don't make me say it again. I don't know if I can," Jason joked.

"Maybe that's not such a bad idea."

"What?" Jason was flabbergasted. The last thing he expected from his friend was that remark. "You are kidding right?"

"Not really. At least you'd be racing. Isn't that what's really important here?" The thought of Jason joining Ryan Racing had Tom immediately excited. He could only imagine the state of the art equipment that sat in every corner of the Ryan garage. He would have loved to get his hands on some of the stuff he was sure was there. Then as quickly as those ideas entered his head so did another one – with all of the mechanics Pat Ryan employed what would Jason need him for any more.

"What?" Jason asked. Over the years the two had become like brothers being able to sense when the other was bothered by something.

"Nothing."

"No what?"

"I was just thinking that you might not need me in the pits anymore. Hell Ryan has to have a slew of mechanics and crew guys."

"If, and that's a big if mind you, I even consider doing what Jake wants and join Ryan Racing I wouldn't be doing it without you. Besides Jake you are the only other person I really trust to work on my car. We are a package deal or we aren't a deal at all."

"Thanks man," Tom let out a sigh of relief as the idea of Ryan Racing became appealing all over again. "Like I said it might not be all that bad. You get to keep racing and hell putting Billy Weston in his place that has to be a plus don't you think? Come on think about it Jas, he'll be shitting bricks at the thought of you stealing his thunder. And you know damn well you will." Tom grinned.

"I don't know. I just don't know," he said leaving Tom to stare at his retreating form.