Sitting alone in his chambers, Anakin gazed thoughtfully out the window at the traffic lines of Coruscant, his arms crossed over his chest. He'd promised Obi-wan and Ahsoka that he would rest, knowing that he would once again face the council when the sun rose once again. For now the sky was darkened, or at least as dark as they ever got, with the lights of Coruscant illuminating the darkness.
There were so many things Anakin had to fix. Naturally the situation with Palpatine was on top of the list, but Anakin knew that he could not simply jump into that particular situation. Anakin knew that at this point he didn't have the skill to defeat Sideous. No-one did, Sidious's defeat of nearly the entire Jedi Council was evidence enough of this. As much as Anakin hated to admit it, there was also the political ramification of Sideous' position of power, and the Clone Wars as well to consider…not to mention the chips in the heads of the Clones. If Sidious realised that Anakin and the Jedi Council were onto him too early then he might issue order 66 early, and Anakin shuddered as he thought about the potential consequences of that.
Closing his eyes Anakin tried to slip into meditation. Reaching out with the force he picked up a scrap droid part and brought it into his hand, fiddling with the scrap as he let himself sink into the force. He'd discovered over the years that meditation was easier for him if he had something to touch or fix. It was something he'd discovered during the Clone Wars, when he would retreat to the hanger to work on his ships, and later on, during his time as Darth Vader, working on his own suit in his chamber.
As he sunk into his meditation Anakin pondered what else he could change with the knowledge he had now. How he could make things better for the Republic?
Making sure Ahsoka was not falsely accused was the first thing he through of, and helping Satine on Mandalore as well. Anakin inwardly smiled at that particular thought, imagining Obi-Wan's reaction to Anakin telling him what he knew. Anakin hadn't learned the truth about Obi-Wan's history with the Duchess until much later in the war after all.
Also, Anakin pondered who he could trust with the information he carried. Half of his problems had stemmed from his own inability to trust people and seek out there help when he needed it. Anakin, however, had learned from his mistakes, and knew that if they were going to be successful he was going to need help and lots of it.
Obi-Wan and Ahsoka were obvious choices, and Padme as well.
Padme…Anakin's mouth went dry and his chest ached at the mere thought of seeing her again, alive and well. He hadn't been well enough to attend her funeral, but he'd visited her memorial on numerous occasions. He'd even bought a house on Naboo and visited it on a semi regular basis during his years as Vader. Each time he'd been there he'd hated himself more and more, knowing that Padme would have been horrified by the monster he'd become.
Anakin knew that he could not conceal the truth from Padme. He would tell her everything about what he'd done, all the people that he'd killed or hurt. He refused to conceal things from her though, their marriage was already full of secrecy and deceit. She would never look at him the same again, possibly never even love him again, but Anakin could take that. It was what he deserved, after what he had done.
Yes, Anakin would tell Padme, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan everything. He also knew that he had to reveal the truth to Yoda and the rest of the Jedi Council. They were ones that Anakin hadn't trusted in the past, and probably had been the ones who could have helped him the best. Instead Anakin had focused on how much trouble he'd gotten in during his youth, and how much he'd blamed the Jedi for everything that had happened. While they certainly hadn't been blameless for the downfall of the Jedi, Anakin was thinking clearly enough to recognize that he should have trusted them more.
Bail Organa was another one that Anakin thought should be included in discussions. Probably Padme's closest friend in the Senate, and with very similar policies and beliefs, Anakin knew that they had worked well together over the years. With Sideous overthrown the Senate was going to need a strong leader, and Anakin could think of no one better then Bail Organa, if Padme was the one to take charge, and something told Anakin that Padme would probably not choose to push for chancellorship at the current point. If nothing else then it may cause some discord in the Senate if, after the revelation of Palpatine being a corrupt Sith Lord and his subsequent arrest and removal from power, his replacement was from the same planet. Also, Anakin had a great deal of respect for the man who had raised his daughter. Leia might have had Padme's looks, and Anakin's determination and stubbornness, but her ethics and beliefs were something she had learned from the cradle from those around her.
Anakin thought about those he had encountered throughout his life. Thinking of Bail brought to mind his step brother Owen Lars, the man who had raised Luke. Ever since Vader had found out the truth about the identity of Luke Skywalker he had hated anyone even remotely involved in keeping them separated. It was obvious that Luke had been barely trained the first time he and Vader had encountered one another, and it had proved that although Luke had been there with Obi-Wan when Vader had killed him, he hadn't been Obi-Wan's Padawan, or if he had been they had not gotten very far into training. It had eased a little of Vader's hatred towards Obi-Wan, especially when he'd done a little digging and discovered the identity of the people who had bought the droids, and then paid for it with their lives.
Having Luke be raised by his step Uncle and Aunt on Tattoine had been a good plan. If there had been one planet in the galaxy that Vader would never step foot on, it was Tattooine. If he wanted to punish himself, Naboo was generally were he went so he could torture himself over Padme's grave. Anakin shuddered at the mere thought of the sort of havoc the sand of Tattooine would have caused with the life support suit. Certainly Tattooine, and the Lars family, had been the perfect spot for Luke to be brought up, with Obi-Wan close by for an added layer of protection, if needed. Anakin knew that he had spent more time in the company of Bail organa than his own step brother, so it wasn't like they would have fallen under Vader's suspicion. For a moment Anakin debated bringing the Lars' into his confidence, but he dismissed the idea immediately. The concerns of the republic were too big for a family of moisture farmers on Tattooine. While they could provide an element of common sense to discussions, Anakin doubted that they would be able to contribute much that would be helpful. Anakin was sure that they were good people, and he contemplated going to visit them, and his mother's grave, again when this was all over, but they were better off not involved.
Anakin had trusted few in his life, especially once he'd become Vader…although one name did come to mind. Anakin searched through his memories from his years as Vader, remembering looking through files and records.
Yes…he was alive, conveniently newly graduated from a military academy in the outer rim, but Anakin was sure that he would be able to pull some strings and get him transferred onto the Resolute. Vader had seen the potential in the young Firmus Piett, and Anakin wasn't going to let the best officer he'd ever served with during his time as Vader be wasted chasing pirates in the outer rim while Anakin needed as many good men as he could get.
Thinking of his time as Vader, Anakin frowned as he thought of the number of individuals he'd encountered that had fully supported Palpatine's actions and beliefs. Those were the ones that he'd need to watch, especially once Palpatine was removed from office. Sighing, Anakin pulled out a Data pad and began to enter names. He knew he needed to rest, ahead for another round of questioning from the council, but he couldn't stop. He needed to gather as much information as he could. Not only did he need to note Imperials of note…men like Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin, Grand Admiral Thrawn, Moff Gideon, Admiral Motti and Orson Krennic, but those who Vader knew to be loyal to reinstating of the Republic too, individuals like Bail and Breha Organa, Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar, Admiral Raddus, General Rieekan, General Dodonna, General Syndulla and General Madine. There was a part of him that wanted to add Han Solo to the list, and hesitantly he did so, even though he knew that the smuggler was still far too young to be very useful at the moment. Ahsoka too needed to be on the list of Rebels, but Anakin was sure that her involvement was a given anyway, so he left her off.
Closing his eyes Anakin tried to remember who else needed to be noted on his datapad, one way or the other. There were some, like Bariss Offee, who would fall in the coming years, but at the present time they really posed no danger, and Anakin was fairly sure that by avoiding a prolonged war by removing Palpatine from the equation would prevent Bariss from turning to the dark side. Of course, Anakin would never trust Bariss, not after what he had seen her do to Ahsoka, but for the moment he was willing to leave her be.
Settling back into his meditation, Anakin began to comb through his own memories. He cringed as he came across some of Luke's memories that Vader had observed during his attempts to breach Luke's shields, although Anakin smiled as he remembered Luke's memories of meditating in a handstand position.
Anakin had never encountered someone meditating in that position before, and Vader's life support suit would never had accommodated it, although Anakin let himself snort with laughter at the idea of Vader meditating upside down and Admiral Piett walking in on it.
It didn't take too long for Anakin to relax into the correct position, his toes pointed to the ceiling, his hands positioned shoulder width apart pressed to the floor. Anakin found it easier than normal to resettle into the meditation, the challenge of keeping his physical position helping him focus without having machinery or droid parts to tinker with. He resumed trawling through his memories…Vader's memories, trying to skip the more unpleasant ones of Vader's many crimes, knowing that he would be spending the day focusing on them, and instead trying to remember details that might help.
He also carefully explored his own head. It was…slightly unnerving to be back in his 20 year old mind, although not as strange as it was to be back in his fully functioning, except for his right arm, twenty year old body. It was strange to have his bond with his master still be so strong, and his bond with Ahsoka too, although it was still quite new and was still gaining its strength. There was another bond…the one with Padme. Completely different from the ones with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, due to Padme not being Force sensitive, it was still there, fuelled by Anakin's love for Padme.
Also there, although more connected to Anakin's Vader linked memories, was the bond with Luke. While that bond had been weak, at best, due to the fact they spent so little time together and how they were on differing sides of a war, it had still been there, forged from the first time Vader had reached out to Luke after Bespin. Now though it was dormant, the other end not giving any sign of existence. Anakin didn't expect it to, Luke and Leia wouldn't be conceived for another two years.
Anakin carefully searched his mind once again, frowning when he felt a slight chill go down his spine. He searched more deeply, using knowledge he'd gained as Vader to probe more deeply into the mind of his twenty year old self. It was there that he found it and he pulled back immediately, reassessing and fortifying his already strong mental shields hurriedly.
Of course it would already be there. The bond with Palpatine, forged and nourished by Palpatine ever since he'd first met Anakin when Anakin had been a child. The younger Anakin would have simply shrugged off the bond, thinking it was just because of how much he'd looked up to the chancellor, as a friend and mentor. With his memories as Vader, however, Anakin knew the bond was only a sign of the darkness and things to come. The problem was, how could he remove the bond without Sideous being aware of it? Sideous couldn't even know Anakin was aware of the bond. It was buried so deeply in Anakin's mind Anakin should never have been able to even find it.
Anakin could feel his anger and hatred growing, furious with Palpatine for his manipulation of Anakin as a child, as well as his own stupidity for not recognising it for what it was. He knew that he wasn't the only one fooled, but Anakin still hated how naïve he'd been, how desperate he'd been for someone to show they cared. He'd literally latched onto the first few who had shown him kindness after leaving Tattooine, being Padme and the Chancellor, and refused to see what was going on right in front of him.
Exhaling, Anakin released all his negative emotions into the force. Realistically, in hindsight, Anakin knew that he'd never coped well with the Jedi way of life, it was too different to what he was used to growing up in Tattoine. The Jedi Council had been right when Qui Gon had first presented Anakin to them. He'd already been too old. Not because of how far behind he'd been in Jedi knowledge, nor entirely due to his emotions, but because Anakin had grown up used to a certain way of life, of being loved by his mother, and loving her back. Of having his own hopes and dreams, and being his own person (aside from the being a slave thing), not just knowing that his life would be devoted to the order and nothing else. It had been too difficult an adjustment for Anakin to fully make.
"Anakin, what are you doing?"
Anakin opened his eyes, emerging from his meditation, having not even realised that his bedroom door had slid open to reveal Obi-Wan. The sun was just peeping above the skyline of the city. It was the morning.
"Meditating," Anakin replied as he flipped back onto his feet smoothly, as if the answer to Obi-Wan's question had been obvious.
"Meditating…of course you were. Is that a …Sith technique?'
"No," Anakin admitted with a shrug, smiling as he thought of Luke "I just…picked it up from someone."
"Well, whatever works for you I suppose," Obi-Wan conceded, although his eyebrow remained quirked upwards in bemusement.
"Oh, Master, can you teach me that?" Ahsoka enthusiastically asked from behind Obi-Wan, poking her head into the room curiously, obviously having seen Anakin's unorthodox meditating position.
Anakin laughed, "Of course, I am your Master, aren't I? Maybe not today though, I have a feeling that I'm going to be spending most of today talking to the Council."
"Yes, they have summoned us," Obi-Wan nodded, "but I want you to try and eat something first. Were you able to sleep at all?"
"No," Anakin admitted, "But I was able to rest while meditating."
"Anakin, you know that's not healthy," Obi-Wan chided, although Anakin knew it was done out of concern for his wellbeing, rather than any sort of anger.
"Yes master, I will try better tonight," Anakin couldn't help but roll his eyes as he followed Obi-Wan out of the room.
"Do, or do not, there is no try," Ahsoka told him with a smile, repeating one of Yoda's favourite sayings. Anakin laughed and pulled Ahsoka into a gentle half hug.
"Oh, I've missed you Snips."
"I know you have, Skyguy."