Elizabeth slowed her pace when she finally caught up with Jason. Easily her stride fell in step with his and for the moment she walked along side him in silence trying to gauge what or if she should say anything. This was the Jason she had seen numerous times throughout Jake's hospital stay and even more so after the arrival of his mother. It was like Alison and Jason Morgan were like oil and water. They just didn't mix.
Elizabeth knew that feeling all too well substitute her father for Alison and herself for Jason in the equation and you would have exactly the same relationship. Yet something about Jason's situation with his mother was different even though she wasn't able to put her finger on it. She herself didn't much care for Alison Morgan. The woman had a way of rubbing Elizabeth the wrong way almost instantly. And if she felt that way Elizabeth could only imagine how Alison affected her son.
Jason knew that Elizabeth was walking beside him without ever turning to see the petite brunette. He had an uncanny sense when it came to her almost like he could feel her and that only served to cloud his judgment all the more. His life was far too complicated as it was. Why on earth did he need to make matters worse for by having uncontrollable feelings for the daughter of a man he couldn't stand? He did his best to ignore her and continued on his undetermined path.
Elizabeth had an overwhelming urge to reach out and take Jason's hand in her own. It seemed almost the natural thing to do. She wasn't sure what she was offering comfort for but she knew he needed it just the same. Yet something held her hand stationary. She wasn't sure if it was her own fear of what those thoughts meant – that her heart was breaking down the defenses in her head or perhaps her mind was just sticking to her no more drivers in her life mantra. Deep down she knew the truth. If it had really been her mantra talking she would have never chased after him in the first place. So rather than reaching for him she clasped her hands together and continued along beside him.
They walked in silence for quite awhile until Jason became so unnerved by her presence he couldn't take it another second. "Why are you following me?" he barked turning to look at her.
"I wanted to make sure you were all right," she said softly trying not to take his tone personally even though that was difficult to do.
"Why? Why the hell do you even care? Or is this what you do for all your daddy's drivers?" The minute that last sentence fell from his mouth Jason regretted it. Again he had let his anger with his mother twist his words spewing venom on an undeserving bystander. But it was the appalled look on Elizabeth's face that ripped at his heart and made him want to smack himself senseless.
The maliciousness of Jason's tone was biting to the point that Elizabeth felt as though she had just been sucker punched in the stomach. Yet it wasn't until she allowed the words of Jason's final sentence to sink in that an overwhelming sense of hostility consumed her. How many times had she been taunted in the past about how she was nothing more than Billy Weston's meal ticket into the racing circuit? How he wouldn't have given her a second look if she hadn't been Pat Ryan's daughter? All those insecurities came rushing back with brute force assaulting her especially now that part of her believed that they were all more than a little well founded after what Billy had done.
Elizabeth squared her shoulders and let out a heated sigh ready to give Jason Morgan a very large piece of her mind but the minute she looked at his face she felt the tears sting her indigo eyes. She swallowed hard hoping to dislodge the apple sized lump that was now sitting in the back of her throat. The last thing she wanted or needed for that matter was to let Jason see her cry. She had by far done enough crying as it was. So before the tears could cascade onto her cheeks she turned and hurried away from him without once looking back.
"Damn it," Jason muttered under his breath as he lengthened his stride to catch up with her – which he did easily. He reached out grabbing her by the arm. "Elizabeth, wait." The hold he had on her arm left her no choice but to stop though she kept her back to him since her cheeks were now damp from the line of tears that had made tracks down her face. "I'm sorry," he began. "What I said back there – well it was stupid. I didn't mean it, really I didn't."
Elizabeth stood there without saying a word – not trusting her own voice. She knew that it would crack as she tried to gain control of her silent tears and there was no denying that Jason Morgan's touch no matter the reason also set off a wave of quivers in her body that inadvertently always found a way to her voice.
"Elizabeth?" he questioned as she remained quiet. She pulled out of his grasp yet didn't continue walking. Jason let out a ragged breath hoping now to get a chance to continue his apology. "I really am sorry. It seems like whenever my mom is around I can't think straight. She's got this way of getting my goat no matter how hard I try not to let it happen." Jason ran his hands over his face trying to gain his own composure. The last thing he wanted was to alienate Elizabeth.
Elizabeth faintly smiled at Jason's last remark. She knew those feelings all too well. She had told herself over and over again so many times now she had lost count to not allow her father and now Billy to goad her into saying things that should have been better left unsaid. If for only that reason alone she turned around and faced Jason. "I can understand that," she commented.
Jason felt his chest tighten as the tell tell signs of her tears remained apparent in her reddened eyes. He hated that he had been the reason for her tears. He wanted to kick himself all over again. "I am sorry," he said again.
Something in his clear blue eyes made Elizabeth believe him or maybe it was the way her heart skipped a beat when he reached out to touch her hand as he spoke she wasn't really sure. In the last months of being around Jason she wanted to believe she had a good sense of the man that he was. He and Leo had formed a bound and Elizabeth knew for Leo to do that there had to be something different about Jason Morgan. Elizabeth wanted to believe that he was different – that he wasn't the typical egomaniacal driver the littered the circuit.
"I really did just want to see if you were okay?" she said without dwelling on his earlier comment.
"I know and thank you," he said. "I just can't believe that even at twenty-six years old she can still push my buttons," he sighed.
"It's a parent's job, I'm pretty sure." Elizabeth would have said that pushing buttons was a mother's job if she had had any frame of reference for that. But no mother of her own or not she could most definitely see Alison Morgan's penchant for pushing her son's buttons.
"I don't even know why I give a damn. It's not like she does," Jason said almost ominously. Elizabeth pulled back and gave him a puzzled stare as though she was asking him to continue without saying a word. "Let's just say my mom is less than thrilled with my choice of careers." Elizabeth was still more than a little confused. The tension that she had witnessed between mother and son certainly couldn't have stemmed just from Jason's decision to be a NASCAR driver. "My dad died on this very track," Jason heard himself saying. "I was standing in the pits with Jake and my mom was sitting in the stands."
Again Elizabeth felt the earlier lump climb into her throat but for an entirely different reason now. "I'm so sorry Jason," she said finally reaching for the hand she had been unable to grab before.
As Jason stood there the fiery crash that had claimed his father's life ticked off in his mind like a reel of some tired old movie. He had wanted to believe that in the years between then and now he had somehow gotten passed it all or at least had put the event in its proper place yet there were times – especially ones like this that the memories were as fresh as a newly opened wound. "Erik Morgan died well before his time –died before he could show the world his full potential."
Hearing Jason's father's name now conjured a memory in Elizabeth's head. She recalled the death of some upstart driver many years ago. He hadn't been in the league with her father so his death barely made an impact on her life or that of her father's but standing there now staring at Jason she couldn't imagine what it had done to his.
"My mom couldn't handle it when I told her I wanted to finish what my dad had started. She flipped when I told her I wanted to race."
There was a part of Elizabeth that completely understood Alison's initial reaction. How could she not have the natural instinct to protect her son? In her time around the circuit she had seen her fair share of injuries, even some that had debilitated drivers. So as much as she hated to admit it she could almost sympathize with Jason's mother that was until he continued.
"Jake and I spent months rebuilding my dad's car in secret while my mother sat in the house not so much as making even an appearance. I know she was devastated by my father's death but she completely shut down – shut me out almost – when I needed her the most. If it hadn't been for Jake god only knows what would have happened to me," Jason said honestly. That was the truth too. If Jake hadn't been there to pull him back from the edge he could have gotten lost in some bottle of scotch or some other poison of choice. Jason had to wonder sometimes if that would have made his mother happier.
It now became crystal clear to Elizabeth the bond that Jason and Jake shared and why. No wonder he had taken Jake's heart attack and subsequent surgery so hard. Elizabeth could only imagine that it had to be like losing his father all over again for Jason. Unconsciously Elizabeth gave Jason's hand a gently squeeze.
"The day that we flipped the toggle switch and the new engine in my dad's car came to life was the first time I had seen any expression on my mom's face in months. She came flying out of the house like some bat out of hell screeching. But then when I mentioned about taking the car back out on the dirt tracks well her tirade began and it's never stopped since. She never fails to get her digs in about the evils of racing or like today when Jake told me how much my driving reminds him of my dad she has to pipe in with some caustic comment that has me seeing red."
"She's probably afraid of losing her only son the same way she lost her husband." Elizabeth couldn't believe she was actually defending his mother but something about the idea of watching your husband die behind the wheel of a racecar and then having your only son tell you he wants to follow in the man's footsteps struck a chord in her.
"Maybe," Jason relented. Over the years he had come to terms with his mother's reasons just not her actions. "But if it had been only that I think I could have dealt with it. It's her running away that I couldn't."
"Running away?"
"Yes. She ran home to Texas to the safety of her parents. She told me that she refused to stand by and watch me kill myself too. And with that she was on a plane and headed to Texas to nurse her grief as if it somehow was worse than mine. I haven't really talked to her in years. I only called her when Jake was in the hospital 'cause I thought it was the right thing to do. I mean there were friends. I thought she should know what was going on. I never once imagined she'd show up in Charlotte much less that Jake would head to Texas with her for his rehab."
Suddenly Elizabeth felt very guilty for having pointed out the facility in Texas and stressing what a wonderful program they had. If she had only known then what she did now. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"It's not your fault."
"I mean about Texas. If I hadn't given Jake that brochure maybe he wouldn't have gone to Texas."
"I don't think it would have mattered. I'm pretty sure my mom would have found another way to stick it to me." Again Jason heard the bitterness in his voice. He sounded like a disgruntled adolescent rather than the adult he was – oh yes Alison Morgan could certainly bring out the best in her son.
Elizabeth took Jason's other hand in her own and stood there staring deep into his ice blue eyes as the sun began to fall away from the sky. She couldn't help but empathize with Jason. She knew what it was like to lose a parent and maybe both even though the other wasn't physically dead. Alison had no more been able to accept Jason than Pat Ryan had been able to accept her until she contorted herself into a shape her father could see. Jason however hadn't been able to do that for his mother. His need to follow his father's dream made that change almost impossible.
She dropped his hand and reached up and stroked her hand against his cheek still covered in soot from the day's race. Suddenly the distance sometimes vacant look in Jason's eyes made sense. That pain she saw had so much more to do with his life overall rather than just Jake's illness as she had once thought and the animosity she had observed from the first time she had stumbled upon Jason and Alison was deep rooted. All the signs were there – she could read them well since she carried many herself. Jason felt abandoned by the one parent he had left. It didn't matter that he had been nearly an adult when it happened there was always a part of a person that wants and needs their parent's love and protection even if they are fighting it all the way. Elizabeth knew just where Jason was coming from and for the first time in a very long time the connection she felt with him and couldn't explain before fell immediately into place. So much so that she found herself leaning in and hugging him.
Jason tightened his arms around her tiny waist dropping his chin against her head. A wave of contentment washed over him suddenly. Very few people outside of Jake and Tom really knew the whole story behind his relationship with Alison Morgan. She normally was a subject he chose not to discuss but with Elizabeth he couldn't help himself. There were so many things when it came to Elizabeth Ryan he couldn't help himself from doing.
Elizabeth pulled back just enough for their blue eyes to lock. At that moment there was no need for a single word. Both knew what the other wanted and this time neither of them was afraid to comply. Jason bent his head gently pressing his lips to her full red ones. Willingly she returned the warm kiss wrapping her arms around his neck as she allowed him to deepen the experience by parting her lips and letting his tongue explore the recesses of her mouth. She followed suit doing the same. Finally both permitting themselves their most secret desire.
Tom and Leo approached one another as they pulled the heavy metal garage doors into place. They closed with a thud and subsequent click as the lock fell shut securing all that Pat Ryan held precious behind them. Tom's eyes searched the dimming skyline looking for Jason. It was time for them to go celebrate his victory in style. Tom's adrenaline from the afternoon's race was still pumping as he was sure Jason's was as well. It had been a hell of a race and an even sweeter victory when Jason left Billy Weston in the dust.
Tom took a few steps forward when he spotted Jason's form in the distance but immediately he faltered as the sight of Elizabeth Ryan wrapped in his best friend's arms came into view. He stood there almost rigid watching as Jason and Elizabeth shared a kiss. Even from the fair distance that separated them Tom could feel their heat and then his own heated anger bubbling and boiling inside of him. It never failed to amaze Tom how Jason Morgan had the world by a string. It didn't matter whether he was behind the wheel of his car, throwing darts or dodging the line of pretty ladies that seemed to follow him wherever he went – Jason always came out the winner. Tom clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes as he watched Elizabeth lay her head against Jason's chest. He felt the fire in the pit of his stomach rage.
It was like Vanessa James all over again. She was clearly a racing groupie and Tom knew it yet he hadn't been able to stay away from her. She had been hell on wheels in a black dress or at least a black leather mini. For months she showered him with attention showing up at the track while he was working on Jason's car or doing a myriad of other things. It seemed like everywhere he turned there Vanessa was. So finally he let down his guard and invited her to the end of the season party Jake always held for Jason. He couldn't help but love the looks having her on his arm drew him when he entered the room. She was beautiful silken blonde hair, piercing green eyes and a body that could cause a train wreck and she was all his. Finally Tom felt he had come into his own. He had grown used to woman young and old cozying up to him as a way to get closer to the ultimate prize – Jason, but it hadn't been that way with Vanessa. She not so much as even mentioned him once in all the time she spent with Tom. He strutted into the room that night as proud as a peacock. That gratification was however short lived. He had excused himself to go to the men's room and upon his return Tom was faced with a sight similar to the one he was now starring at. There stood Vanessa – his date hand resting on Jason's shoulder as his friend leaned in close to her. At that moment all the blood rushed from his body leaving him ice cold.
Tom could still hear her remark to him when he approached her – almost as if it had been said only moments before. He tried to take her by the hand and lead her away from Jason yet she would have none of that. Vanessa James turned around emerald eyes blazing pulling her hand from Tom's and stated firmly 'Thanks but no thanks. You served your purpose.'
Tom was crushed. He did a double take and without a comeback he stalked off before he even realized that Jason had in not so polite terms told Vanessa where she could get off. For a while after that things between Jason and Tom were strained. Jason tried his best to explain his side of the story but Tom's pride and ego weren't so quick to cut his friend any slack. Finally one day in the garage Jake threatened to bash there skulls together if they didn't drop all this nonsense and get back to what was really important racing.
Tom had thought he was actually over all that until that moment – the moment when he saw Elizabeth, the girl he wanted for himself, in the arms of Jason. It was like a hot knife through an old would.
"You want to go grab a beer," Leo asked to an oblivious Tom. "Hey," he said again striking the other man on the shoulder. "I said you want to go grab a beer." Leo finally took noticed of Tom's hard stare off into the distance. He fought the curve of a smile that played at the corner of his lips. There stood Jason and Elizabeth entangled in a rather comfortable embrace lips locked in place. "Finally," he said under his breath.
Tom looked back over his shoulder and gave Leo an evil eye before stalking off without a word. Leo didn't even seem to notice his absence. Not that that surprised Tom all that much anymore he was beginning to feel like the invisible man on all fronts. Leo stood there almost mesmerized as he gazed at the couple off in the distance as they finally parted from their kiss. He looked on as the pair stood there arms intertwined as though they were one person not two. Something about the picture seemed so right to Leo. He didn't have the urge to rip them apart as he had every time he saw Elizabeth and Billy together. Elizabeth actually looked happy. She didn't have that plastic smile plastered across her face like she did when she was with Billy. And never once had Leo ever witnessed such tenderness emoting from Billy Weston when he had his arms wrapped around Elizabeth as he saw from Jason Morgan. This was by far very different.
Leo crossed his arm over his chest and stared a little longer. He almost felt like he was intruding yet he couldn't get his feet to move from that spot. He wanted to see what would happen next all the while a plan of his own began forming in his brain. From all he knew about Elizabeth and the little he knew about Jason Leo was more than a little sure that these two would need some help in recognizing just how right for one another they were. "Oh god," Leo groaned aloud realizing how much his thoughts just now made him sound like Elizabeth and all her match making schemes for himself and Melanie. "Well I guess two can play the game," he said to himself with a smile wondering where Ms. King was at the moment. It seemed as though the two of them had some match making of their own to get started on.
Pat Ryan nearly dropped the clipboard in his hand the sight before him startled him that much. As if it was playing out in slow motion he watched Jason Morgan – man of the hour – lean in and kiss of all people his daughter. Pat felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched Elizabeth willing return Jason's advances. "What the hell?" he said his voice barely a whisper. Absently he ran his hand across his mouth perplexed beyond words. This didn't make a damn bit of sense to him.
In his mind he played over and over the conversations or rather arguments he had had with Elizabeth since her break up with Billy. He could hear Weston's replay of events as if the young man was standing right there whispering them in his ear. Elizabeth had wanted him to choose between his career and her. She had issued him an ultimatum or so Billy said. Yet by the looks of Elizabeth standing there wrapped in Jason Morgan's arms it was hard to believe.
Pat hung his head low and let out a heavy sigh conflicted by what he saw. Elizabeth looked happy, happier than he had seen her look in well he wasn't even sure. There was a contentment about her that Pat knew he had never seen before. He wanted to be contented himself but there was a part of him that couldn't find its way to that place. He loved his daughter and wanted nothing but all the bliss the world had to offer her but he didn't want that to come at the cost of his team. There he stood perched on the horizon of all he wanted – a Winston Cup and her involvement or potential involvement with another one of his drivers stood to wreck it all again. However then a thought occurred to him, what if Elizabeth's tie to Jason kept the stellar driver exactly where Pat wanted – needed him – to be on his team even after Jake Russell's return? Now that was a thought that Pat needed to ponder for a little while longer.
Billy Weston was just about ready to cross the threshold of the man door to the Ryan garage when the image of Jason Morgan and Elizabeth Ryan kissing assaulted his vision. He tightened his grip on the doorknob as the veins in his neck popped with the blood that rapidly pulsed through them. "What the fuck?" he growled never once taking his eyes off the pair. Suddenly his body almost went numb. How the hell was he ever going to keep up the pretense of his break up with Elizabeth if there she was at the track getting involved with another racer no less?
Billy felt the strings that held his world together slowly unraveling around him. A wave of jealousy washed over him as he watched Elizabeth lay her head on Jason's chest and him in turn stroking her chestnut locks. What the hell was his Liz doing cozying up to someone else? Everything logical and rational for Billy flew out the window at the sight he beheld. That was his girlfriend – she should have been kissing him, consoling him not out there celebrating with the competition and indeed Jason Morgan was just that – Billy's competition. Suddenly the fact that Elizabeth had broken up with him for his infidelities mattered very little to him. The only thing that stood out in his mind was he wanted her back or at the very least didn't want Jason to have her. It wasn't Billy's intention to lose another thing to Jason – not his girl and most definitely not another race.
Billy stood there a while longer just watched the two of them his animosity growing stronger by the minute as his desire to be rid of Jason Morgan one way or another. There had to be some way to throw Morgan off his mark, Billy thought. No one was without a weakness and from the looks of it Elizabeth appeared to be just that. However as Billy turned his head and gazed back into the now quiet garage the tattered photo of Erik Morgan and the few yellowed newspaper clippings taped to Jason's tool box gave Billy an entirely different place to begin.