1:50 pm, Wednesday, January 15, 2011
"Hey, Jackson!"
Percy Jackson turned to face Cain Van Wes, his face emotionless as he asked the other teen what he wanted.
Cain grinned, and Percy couldn't help but be reminded of a knife. "You know I saw this scar you had this one time," He started.
Percy leaned against the lockers, seemingly perfectly at ease. But his hand was wrapped around Riptide in his pocket, and his instincts were telling him to run, run as far as you can because something is about to happen.
"Oh really?" Percy said, raising an eyebrow at Cain.
Cain smiles, "And what do you know, its a scar from a cigarette!"
Percy's blood turned to ice. His entire body freezes, staring at Cain, as the boy continues.
"And I know you don't smoke. But I do some digging, and would you look at that Percy Jacksons old stepfather was a smoker!"
No.
No.
Not this.
That's not how you breathe, Percy.
Percy can see the exact moment people connect the dots. People stare at him, and there's a pity in their eyes, pity Percy doesn't want. Whispers erupt in an instant, and then Percy hears it- a small laugh, that's hushed in a second.
But the laugh is echoing around him, and he feels like he's drowning, he can't breathe, he can't move, all he can do is stare at Cain. Cain whose grinning and laughing, because this is funny to him.
Percy Jackson can't breathe and Cain Van Wes thinks it's funny.
Percy straightens up, and the hall falls silent. "What you gonna do Jackson? We all know you're weak getting knocked around by a fat, ugly, smoker."
Percy opens his mouth, ready to curse him out, condemn him to the crows, and show Cain how 'weak' he really his. But he's suddenly being ushered away, and he can't do anything but move with the person.
When everything clears for Percy, he sees Annabeth right in front of him, Jason and Piper behind her. He's on the floor in an empty hallway, leaning against the wall.
Annabeth looks at him, and there it is, the pity the worry. She's known for a while now, as has Jason and Piper, but that doesn't stop the pity. Percy's deepest, darkest secret has been revealed in front of a good portion of the school.
And those who weren't there, they'll know soon enough.
Percy tries not to cry, but the sob escapes his mouth before he can swallow it down. Then he's crying, and Annabeth is rubbing circles into his palms, Jason is telling him it's going to be okay, and Piper has her hand on his back, steadying him.
Every time he tries to stop crying, he ends up crying more. The laughter is echoing again, but he can hear the whispers, and then there's Gabe's voice, and Percy wants to scream, but it catches in his throat.
"Honey," Its Annabeth's voice, and Percy tries to latch onto the sound of her voice. The sound that saved his life in the Cocytus, stopped him from letting himself drown in the river of Lamentation.
"It's going to be okay, honey, it's going to be okay." He's not okay, he can't breathe, he's drowning again.
"Perce, listen to Annabeth, okay? It's going to be okay, just breathe." Pipers words wash over him, and he starts to catch his breath. "That's it, breathe, just breathe."
Footsteps echo in the hallway, and suddenly Pauls there and he's telling him it's going to be okay, asking if he can come with him. Percy tries to stand, but he's so unsteady that it fails.
Someone, probably Jason, helps him up, and they start to walk somewhere, Percy doesn't know where. He hears Annabeth talking to someone, Piper is telling him to breathe, but she's speaking in Greek now. Jason is helping him walk, telling him it's going to be okay.
A door opens and Percy is guided to a chair. He hears a lock click, and people are talking and whispering. Annabeth is by his side, telling him stories, trying to drag him back to the real world.
The fog in his mind slowly clears and he can see everything around him. He's in the principal office, Annabeth is by his side. Paul and Mrs Childs are whispering in the corner. Jason and Piper are sat in the other chairs.
Annabeth reaches her arms out to him and he accepts the hug, desperately clinging to the thing that brought him out of hell. Annabeth tells him that his mom is on the way, it's going to be okay, and how much she loves him.
Percy catches his breath, and the hours seem to blur from there. He barely remembers his mom walking in, Mrs Childs asking if what Cain said was true, his mother talking and telling her about Gabe Ugliano.
Then they're leaving, and Percy is getting on the subway with his mom and friends, and his mom tells him they'll pick up his bike later today. She can tell he's practically disconnected himself from the world again, so she stands quietly next to him and holds his hand.
And then they get home, and Percy changes into comfy clothes and falls asleep on his bed to Annabeth rubbing his back, and telling him yet again that everything will be okay.
Thursday, January 14, 2011
Goode High was abuzz with chat for the rest of the day.
People were shocked. People felt bad for Percy. Almost everyone hated Cain Van Wes at the moment but no one was stupid enough to cross him like Percy Jackson had when he'd punched Cain Van Wes in the face. When he became captain of the swim team.
They all saw what happened to him.
And when he walked into school the next day, the hallway fell silent, a strange echo of his first day back.
The awe had turned to pity. The surprise had turned to the feeling that they never thought he would come back today. The confusion to horror at what their classmate has had to endure.
His head was down, a hood over his head, but he was as recognisable as he had always been. When he got to his locker, he stood there for a moment, feeling the stares on his back, like they were knives pummeling into him.
The day continues on.
Lilith is gone, as is Cain. The latter was suspended for two weeks, and it seems the former choose not to come to school today, the coward.
Someone walks up to him during Lunch, offering an apology, and saying they're sorry. People hold their breath as they wait for a reply, but Percy doesn't answer and it's his girlfriend who gives thanks to the person.
Percy Jackson doesn't speak at all that day. He's never called on once. In English, his girlfriend is next to him the entire time, hands intertwined, and throughout the class, she whispered to him the same mantra in a foreign language.
I love you, Percy.
And then at the end of the day, Percy is at his locker when he slams his fist against the locker and-
Bursts into tears.
The sound drew everyone's attention and they watch him as he starts to sob and cry, cursing out Cain Van Wes in the most creative way they've ever heard.
And Annabeth rushes to him almost immediately from her locker down the hall, and then shes rubbing his back, telling him things in a language they don't understand.
The next day, he comes into a locker with a single thing on the front. Someone taped a note telling him that Goode is with him. Offering their support and love.
They all see a small smile.
They don't see that Percy is trying not to cry, because this is the worst thing that could've been revealed, and people are supporting him. Telling him that they're with him, that they are sorry.
But it's also pity.
And Percy Jackson hates pity, hate people feeling bad for him. Because why would you feel bad for him? He doesn't deserve their pity their words of love. They think he's an unlucky kid, with a dark past, and that's it.
But what would they think if they knew what he did to Akhyls, the way he turned poison on the goddess of misery, the time he wanted to kill someone, crush their life out, and the thrill he got from the way she was screaming and crying, and the way the poison and blood moved under his command.
He tries to shake away the memory, but it won't leave him, and now he's standing at his locker, trying to dispel the memories of what he's done. The bell rings; a blessing that thrusts him from the memory.
But it doesn't change the fact that Percy Jackson thinks that he deserves their pity.
Maybe he des-
No, he has to tell himself, you didn't deserve that. You were innocent.
But he's not an innocent now. His hands drip from the blood of his enemies, the sins of a warrior. Maybe he deserved to have his secret revealed. Maybe this is the fates telling him what he feels is true, that he is a monster.
He shakes his head, trying to dispel the thoughts.
But they stay, simmering under the surface. And those thoughts turn to anger, a volcano ready to explode at any moment.
And when he gets another apology he loses it, screaming that he doesn't need an apology, before collapsing and dissolving into tears only seconds later. Then he's apologising, saying he's sorry, that it's his fault, he's sorry, he's sorry.
And in those moments, people see a side they got a glimpse of when Percy punched Cain Van Wes in the face. An angry teen who, beneath his carefree attitude, is a deeply angry and deeply traumatised person.
And then beneath that, a layer no one has identified yet, someone who is unsure and hard on himself. With a temper that is quick and cuts you like a knife, but dissolves quickly, and then he's apologising to you, trying to set it right.
Percy Jackson is made of layers. Layers that, like the ocean, get darker and more dangerous the deeper you go. Until you get the heart of him, which is the sea he is born from.
The sea that doesn't like to be restrained, that eats ships whole for fun. The sea that destroys cities and lives without mercy, the sea that you never turn you back on, because it will kill you.
oops I'm sorry