Jason heard her say it was going to be okay and as much as he wanted to believe those words standing there in the Texas airport getting ready to face Jake with his questions he was less than sure of them.
"You'll see," she said with a smile before taking his large hand in her miniature one. "Now let's go see about renting us a car. Do you want to pick it or should I?" she asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Depends what did you have in mind?" he grinned despite his mounting anxiety.
"A convertible and something fast – definitely fast," she laughed.
"I can go along with that," he agreed smiling again.
After a few minutes of negotiation Elizabeth landed them a black cherry 2005 Ford Mustang convertible. And as the lot attendant lead them to where it sat she let out a little squeal sounding like a five year old who just happened upon her Christmas presents. Once more Jason found himself laughing in spite of his apprehension about being in Texas and what he was about to encounter.
Quickly Jason reached for the keys the other man offered before Elizabeth was able to snatch them from his hand. "Hey, I wanted to drive!" she exclaimed.
"I think we better leave the driving to the pro don't you?" Jason returned with a sarcastic grin.
"No!" she countered again trying to reach for the keys that Jason so artfully held just out of her reach. "Hey you aren't being fair," she almost whined.
"Yeah, so?" he laughed. "Are you getting in?" he asked opening the passenger door for her.
"Actually, I'm thinking about going back inside and getting a car of my own. Then we'll see just who's the pro and who isn't," Elizabeth said with confidence.
"Oh you think so?" he asked with a smirk. "A little too sure of ourselves aren't we?"
"Don't underestimate me Morgan!"
"Don't worry I'd never do that," he returned quite honestly. He had learned over time that Elizabeth Ryan was to never be underestimated. She had shown him what she was made of and he most definitely liked what he saw.
"Good!" she said almost triumphantly as she slipped into the supple black leather bucket seat. Jason joined her in matching driver's seat and grasped the steering wheel tightly again filled with anxiety. "Jase," she said softly, "it's going to be okay. Really it is." He turned his head giving her a sideways glance and an ever so slight smile thinking how much he wanted to believe that.
"Can you pull out the map from the glove compartment?" he asked her. "Here's my mom's address. Let's see the best way to map out our route."
Elizabeth did as he asked taking note of the detached tone in Jason's voice suddenly. She couldn't even begin to imagine what was going on in his head. Her only hope was that her suggesting this trip had been the right thing to do. She wasn't sure what would happen if god forbid Jake confirmed Jason's worst fears.
Jason listened as Elizabeth told him what stops and turns he needed to make in route to where his mother lived. It was a bit odd for him to be in Texas after all these years. Not once in his childhood had he ever set foot in the large state. When his mother had left her family behind to follow his father to North Carolina her parents had cut all ties with their daughter and not even the birth of their only grandchild had changed their tune when it came to their disapproval of Erik Morgan. Growing up Jason also felt there was something missing from his life especially when his childhood friends talked about all that their grandparents did for them. He always wondered what he had done to make them not want to see or even know him. As he got older he came to realize that it had nothing to do with him at all but rather his father. To his mother's parents Erik Morgan had been the man that had stolen their daughter from them, the man with the silver tongue that conned their daughter into throwing her life away. As Jason drove in the direction of his Alison's house he wondered what they would now think of him when they found out what he had done.
There they were again those thoughts he promised Elizabeth they wouldn't discuss until he had gotten a chance to talk Jake. So as he inched his way closer to knowing his fate the anxiety he had been feeling over took him all over again. I idea of facing Alison shook him to his very core. It had been his own fault he had lost his mother all those years ago. His carelessness had cost him not only his father but his mother too. What was he supposed to say to her when he saw her? The words 'I'm sorry' rang so hollow. Alison Morgan had lost her husband – the love of her life and her son had been the cause of it all. Jason let out an anguished sigh and clenched his jaw.
Easily Elizabeth rested her hand on his thigh and felt the tautness of his muscles. She took a deep breath before speaking sensing how difficult this was about to get. "Turn here Jason. The address says 1197 Coal Hollow Road."
He did as she instructed and easily found the large concrete driveway marked by the house number. He swung the sports car in and parked in front of one of the garage doors. Shutting off the engine, Jason felt his breathing quicken realizing he was only a few steps away from confirming what he already knew. Suddenly he felt as though he was paralyzed unable to move or even think. His door swung open and Elizabeth's tiny hand reached for his that rested on his lap. He hesitated for a moment wishing he had never agreed to do this. What was the point he wasn't going to hear anything different than he already knew? A large part of him wanted to turn the engine over and zoom out of the drive as though he had never even been there yet Elizabeth's persistent outstretched hand wouldn't allow for that.
Locking eyes with her Jason placed his hand in hers and slipped out from behind the steering wheel. "You okay?" she asked quietly pretty sure she already knew his answer.
"No," he whispered in return as his eyes scanned the brick stairs that led to the front of his mother's house. Every instinct in him told him to turn around and go home.
"I promise you, Jason. It's going to be alright. I know it will be," she assured him rubbing her other hand up and down his tanned forearm.
Jason returned her comments with a look that told her he was less than sure of that. But he followed her toward the stairs and up to the front of the house. As Jason looked at where his mother now lived, he had to wonder about her life in Texas. This grand home was a far cry from the meager one that they had once lived in back in Charlotte. Part of him wondered if this had been a present from her parents for finally returning home.
"Are you going to ring the bell?" Elizabeth asked him after they had been standing before the ornate double doors for several minutes.
"Uh-huh," he mumbled before reaching out and pressing the orange illuminated button.
The overheard ringing bell startled Alison who had been sitting on the chaise lounge in the living room reading while she waited for Jake to return from his rehab session that afternoon. There was a time when she enjoyed the silence that encompassed her life but since Jake had arrived several months prior and filled her existence with his loud boisterous nature she now found the quiet unnerving in a way. Dropping the magazine to the end of the chair, she made her way to the door and was stunned to see her son standing on the other side when she opened it. "Jason?" she said with a gasp.
"Hi mom," he said as Elizabeth squeezed his hand gently.
Alison could only imagine the expression her face must have held. She couldn't believe that Jason was standing on her front porch. It was a picture she had often dreamed of but never once expected. "This is quite unexpected," she said with obvious surprise in her voice.
Elizabeth stole a glance at Jason and then looked back as his mother. Both of them held that deer caught in the headlights look on their faces. "Can we come in?" she asked breaking the formidable silence.
"Of course, of course, please come in," Alison said opening the door wider allowing them both entrance.
"Thank you," Elizabeth said as she almost had to pull Jason inside.
There the three of them stood in the foyer starring at one another none of them sure what to say. The closeness between Jason and Elizabeth Ryan wasn't lost on Alison. There they were holding hands before her and suddenly Alison felt her blood pressure begin to climb. How on earth was she supposed to get Jason to see the light when it came to racing if Pat Ryan's daughter was always in his face? That was the last thing Alison needed someone else in Jason's life that loved the sport as much as he did and she knew for certain that Elizabeth was a race junkie. Elizabeth Ryan was just another wrinkle in Alison's plan to lure both Jason and Jake away from the track. She wished there was a way to make her disappear but from the looks of things much to her dismay Elizabeth was there to stay.
"Would you like something to drink?" she asked finally as she led them both toward the living room.
Jason almost answered by saying 'yes a stiff drink' but he stopped himself. "No thank you," Elizabeth answered.
"Something to eat perhaps? It's nearing lunchtime."
"I don't think so." Again Elizabeth spoke. Suddenly she felt a bit out of place speaking for Jason not to mention the stern looks that Alison was shooting her way made her more than a little uncomfortable.
Alison directed her stare finally in the direction of her son hoping this time he would speak for himself. "I have to say I'm more than a bit shocked to see you here," she said her tone pulling no punches. "Why are you here?" she questioned.
"I'm here to see Jake. I need to talk to Jake," Jason said in a hurried fashion almost as if he didn't he wouldn't get the words out.
"Jake's not here right now. He's at rehab."
"Oh," Jason said his eyes turning to look at Elizabeth.
Instantly she read his mind and knew that Alison's comments would be his exit cue. "It's important," she said. "Do you mind if we wait?"
"No, that's fine," Alison said gritting her teeth as she turned in Elizabeth's direction still seething at her presence.
Alison sat on the chair opposite the pair who sat quietly on the sofa. The room was filled with a foreboding silence. Yet the wheels in Alison's mind began to turn as she thought about Elizabeth's remark about this being important. She looked at Jason who fidgeted nervously across the room from her and couldn't help but wonder why he was so nervous. That wasn't like him in the least. Her son had always been confident and had no trouble displaying that confidence. He had said he needed to talk to Jake and with that thought a light bulb clicked off in her brain. What if he had finally come to his senses and he was there to tell Jake that finally he was done with the circuit? That thought brought a smile to her face. That certainly would explain his anxious behavior. She knew that Jake wouldn't take too well to that news even though for her it was music to her ears. "You sure I can't get either of you something to drink?" she asked suddenly smiling broadly.
"I'm fine thank you," Elizabeth answered noting the dramatic change in Alison's demeanor who suddenly started talking as if they had been long lost friends recently reunited. She was more than a bit leery about the change but she found herself answering Alison's many questions all the while stroking Jason's arm.
Jason sat quietly while his mother rambled on endlessly. He could hear Elizabeth carrying on a conversation with Alison but he couldn't fully comprehend the exchange. He was definitely grateful for her presence though. Without her Jason knew there was no way he could have stayed seated. As it was he felt as if he was ready to jump out of his skin at any second. He tried looking around at the room trying to gauge what his mother's life had been like since she returned to Texas. He thought about things like if she was happy there and what she did to pass the time but always his thoughts came back to why she traveled to Texas in the first place – his father's death – a death he caused. There was no way around those thoughts for him. They ate away at him constantly and now sitting there face to face with his mother knowing what he had done his guilt consumed him on so many levels.
He felt Elizabeth squeeze his hand and out of the corner of his eye he saw her give him a slight smile yet he still wanted to bolt. It was agony complete torture sitting there waiting for Jake to arrive. The images of standing in the hospital corridor the doctor telling that Erik had died played adnausem until Jason's head was swimming in them. "I can't do this," he finally said jumping up from the sofa with a jerk.
"Jason," Alison called after him as he rounded the corner heading toward the foyer with record speed.
Without a moment's hesitation Elizabeth was up and following after him for all intents and purposes planning on bringing him back in to sit down. She knew as difficult as this was it was something that had to be done. For Jason to ever be able to move past what he thought he had done he needed to talk to Jake.
"Jason wait!" She pulled on his arm forcing him to stop and look at her. "We came here to talk to Jake and I think we need to wait for him."
"Elizabeth, I can't. I can't do this." The look on his face broke her heart. All she wanted to do was wrap him in her arms and make this all go away but she knew that wasn't the answer.
Just asJason was about to open the door and step outside Jake entered nearly knocking the pair to the floor. "JASON – ELIZABETH!" he shouted throwing his arms around the two of them thrilled to see them both. "Is it really you?" he asked pulling back to stare intently at Jason. "Damn, I missed you boy! And Elizabeth how are you?" he asked leaning in and kissing her quickly on the cheek.
"I'm good, Jake. How's rehab?" she asked sensing that Jason wasn't ready to say much.
"Rehab's going great. I should be ready to blow this pop stand soon – really soon."
"That's so great," she said with a smile knowing how much Jason needed him back in North Carolina.
"So what they hell brings you here?" Jake inquired as he shut the door behind them ushering Jason and Elizabeth further into foyer.
Before either of them was able to speak Alison appeared. "He's finally come to his senses Jake. Jason's here to tell you he's giving up racing," she announced with a triumphant grin. Jason and Jake turned and stared at her as though she had just been possessed. The two men weren't able to take their eyes off of her. "Tell him Jason, tell him that's why you are here. Tell him that you are ready to give up racing," she said urging him on.
Elizabeth stood there wondering if her mouth was hanging open as she watched Alison Morgan smiling gleefully as though she had just been told she had won the million dollar prize. She had to wonder how on earth Jason's mother had gotten the idea that he was quitting racing. Was it because she was so focused on her own wanting that that she would read almost anything into Jason's words – even if he had only said he was there to see Jake? Elizabeth shook her head and questioned why it was most of the time parents were clueless when it came to their children.
Jake looked from Jason to Alison and then back to Jason not believing a word of what she had said. He knew in his heart that Jason loved racing and wasn't about to give it up yet he asked the question just the same. "Is it true? Are you quitting?"
"I am if I caused my dad's accident. Jake did I kill my father?" Jason asked bluntly.