Alison sat with her legs tucked under her body in the chair perched in the corner of her darken room. She had drawn the blinds the minute that Jake had closed the door behind him before heading off to see Jason. The sound of Elizabeth Ryan's voice when she picked up the phone earlier still rang in Alison's ears and the conversation that she and Jake had had was on continuous play through her head.

A cold chill run down her spine and she physically felt herself shaking. It was as if she was back in that Charlotte hospital all over again. The images were so real for her that Alison could actually smell the distinctive antiseptic odor that hospital's carried and she could hear the commotion and confusion as doctors and nurses dressed in green surgical scrubs whizzed passed her. One simple conversation with Jake had transported her to hell all over again. A single tear tracked its way down her cheek as a lump caught in her throat as she tried not to sob. Yet her efforts were unsuccessful. There she sat crying uncontrollably all over again for the love she had lost on that fateful day.

Doing her best to gain her composure, Alison got up and walked to the bureau on the other side of the room. In the dim light she wiped her tear stained cheeks and tried not to think about why Jake had gone to see Jason. She didn't want to ponder the thought that her son had been responsible for Erik's accident yet that's all she seemed to be able to do. It repeated ad nausem in her head until she was sick to her stomach. And even though Jake assured her that Jason held no responsibility for what happened to his father, her husband, she couldn't get the lingering thought out of her head. Especially since Jason believed it enough to bring him to Texas to confront Jake about it. That was what really stuck in Alison's mind. If it hadn't been true what was Jason doing there at all?

Alison turned her head and caught a glimpse of the photo perched on the edge of the oak dresser – a picture that she had just recently returned to that spot. She stared at it and her breath hitched in her throat. There Jason was as a young boy sitting on his father's shoulders holding one of Erik's first win trophies high in the air. She wasn't sure who looked prouder of the accomplishment, her husband or her son. It was right then that the realization that should the culpability of Erik's accident really rest on Jason's shoulders hit her like a lead weight. She couldn't even begin to fathom what that would do to her son. Erik Morgan had been the earth, moon and stars to his son. Jason idolized him – put him on a pedestal – wanted to be just like him, Alison's chest tightened at the thought of the pain he had to be going through. How was a young man who loved his father as much as Jason did deal with the fact that something he had done had caused his father to die? Alison wrapped her arms around herself trying again to stave off the tears. This time they were tears for her son rather than for herself.

She tried to push those thoughts to the back of her mind, tried to remember Jake's words of assurance that indeed Jason wasn't at all responsible for the accident. That's why Elizabeth called, for him to come and work his magic and make Jason see the truth that he had allowed to be buried under his guilt. Alison wondered if Jake had even half a chance of getting Jason to see the truth. She knew all too well how stubborn her son was but perhaps he had met his match in that department where Jake Russell was concerned. Alison was pretty sure Jake could give Jason a run for his money. Her only hope was that what Jake told her was the actual truth and not some sugar coated version of it. She wanted to believe him – wanted to believe that Jason had had no parts of what happened to Erik's car yet there was a minuscule part of her that wasn't able to let the thought go.

Climbing into the middle of her king size bed, Alison curled up in a ball and pulled a chenille blanket over herself and closed her eyes in the hope that the world around her would fall away.

Jake closed the door behind him pleased that he had finally gotten through to Jason. He knew full well that there was still a part of the younger man that would forever carry a bit of guilt over what happened to his father. Jake himself still had his own issues with Erik's accident and the part he might have played in it all but the difference between them was that he had had years to reconcile those feelings where as Jason only had had a mere few weeks. Jake knew it was going to take time but he hoped eventually Jason would see things for how they really were and not the version he had ingrained in his mind.

Jake looked around the eerily quiet house poking his head in the living room then kitchen. Alison wasn't in either place. "Alison," he called but got no response. "Ali," he said opening the closed door to her bedroom. He flipped on the over head fixture flooding the room with bright light.

"Huh?" she mumbled shielding her eyes from the assault.

"Are you all right?" he asked entering further into the room.

"I'm fine," she said with a half truth. It'd been years since she was truly fine but she had just gotten used to her life as it was now.

"Why are you sitting here in the dark?"

"Just am," she returned sitting up to look at him. He could see from her swollen eyes she had been crying. It pained him to see how entrenched she still was in the past. "Did you talk to Jason?" she questioned.

"Yes."

"So has he given up racing for good?"

Jake felt his eyes roll at her question. He would have laughed but at the moment found no humor in her constant quest. Why was it that he thought she might at some point change her tune? He should have known better Alison Morgan wasn't about to change. She now hated the sport of racing and thought the rest of the world should as well.

"How's Jason doing? Is he okay?" she asked when Jake didn't answer her first question.

"He's getting there," Jake answered a little surprised that she hadn't flown into a triad on the evils of racing as she normally would do.

"I'm glad," she said softly. The last thing she wanted was her child in pain even though in the back of her mind she knew she had caused him a great deal of it in his life. At that moment though all she could think about was what Jason must have been feeling.

"He's a strong boy. He's just in shock right now. It's going to take some time for him to feel normal again. It's only natural."

"How do you ever feel normal again after losing someone you love?"

Jake wasn't sure if her question was more about her or Jason. "You do. You work your way through the grief, pain and anger and you come out on the other side. It's not the same normal as you once were but it's normal for your life at that point. Jason had done that once but he has to do it all over again now."

"What if he can't?"

"He can. He will. He's strong and determined and has people in his life to lean on," Jake said thinking of Elizabeth and what an important part of his life she had become. He knew that she would help Jason come to terms with it all and would be there should he falter. She had proven that by getting him to come to Texas in the first place and not just letting him turn tail and run without getting to the real truth.

"I don't think so Jake. Not if what he thinks is true – not if he's responsible for Erik's death," Alison's voice was barely a whisper as those words passed over her lips. "Is it true? Is he responsible?"

"I already told you he wasn't," Jake answered firmly. "Nothing Jason did or didn't do caused the crash. It was an accident Ali."

"Apparently Jason doesn't think so or he wouldn't be here."

"He was here to find out the truth and the truth is what I told him. It was an accident pure and simple. No one is ever responsible for an accident, Ali. And all racers know they live their lives on borrowed time. Accidents are just a part of our way of life."

At those words Alison pulled her legs in close to her body and wrapped her arms around them. It was that philosophy that scared the hell out of her. Funny thing was until she lost Erik she too had lived by that code. It wasn't until that devastating loss that she saw it all in a different light. "And Jason can live with that?" she asked honestly.

"I think so. At least he's trying to. Ali, he's had his fair share of close calls and near misses. He's never buried his head in the sand about the perils of racing but honey it's in his blood."

"I know it is," she conceded. "It just scares me to death."

"I know it does," he agreed. "I know." Looking at her Jake's heart went out to her. She still had a long way to come in dealing with it all. And he wasn't sure that she ever truly would come out on the other side of the grief and find some semblance of normal again. That saddened him tremendously. "But understand this, your beating your drum the loudest isn't getting you what you want. You aren't changing Jason's mind you are pushing him even farther away. And what you both are missing is how much you need one another. Jason's needed you from the day Erik died. He needed his mother and yes Alison I understand why you acted the way you did that doesn't change how it made Jason feel."

"What about how I felt? Why didn't my wants, concerns matter?"

"Maybe it was because of how you presented them. You ordered Jason to leave racing behind. Don't you understand that for him that was like losing Erik all over again? Racing was all he had to tie him to father…."

"If that's really true Jake, that's sad."

"It is true. And it's not sad. It's how Jason and Erik communicated. They were in sync with one another on more levels than just racing but that was the tangible thing that Jason could hold onto after he was gone."

"I know," she agreed reluctantly. "I just can't deal with it all."

"You need to learn for both your sakes." Jake stared at her again giving her a slight smile. "You might want to try giving it a try tonight."

"What do you mean giving it a try tonight?" she asked.

"I invited Jason and Elizabeth to meet us for dinner tonight. So be ready by six okay?" He left the room with that said not giving her a chance to rebut his remarks.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jason asked as Elizabeth ran a brush through her thick curls. The more he thought about it the less he wanted to have dinner with his mother and was hoping that Elizabeth shared his feelings.

"Do what?" she asked absently as she leaned into the mirror covering her lips with a red sheen.

"You know what," he sighed. "Have dinner with my mother and Jake."

Elizabeth held her response for a second. She most definitely wanted to spend the evening with Jake but Alison well that was definitely another story. "Yes," she said anyhow.

"You're crazy you know that?"

"So I have been told," she smiled thinking how many times both Leo and Melanie had said that to her.

"I think we should just call Jake and say we can't make it." Jason's apprehension was getting the better of him. He wasn't sure he could spend the entire evening sitting across the table from his mother while she gave him the evil eye.

"And exactly what excuse are you planning on using? It's not like we have anything else to do."

"We could tell them that you aren't feeling well," Jason said off handedly.

"Oh no you don't! You aren't using me as the scapegoat." Jason leaned against the wall and groaned. "It's going to be okay. It's just dinner."

"Do you really believe that?" Jason gave her an astonished look. "This is my mother we are talking about."

"I know." Elizabeth indeed did have her own reservations about spending the evening with Alison Morgan. The woman had about as much tact and diplomacy as a foreign terrorist but in the back of her mind Elizabeth tried to imagine what her life had been like. Elizabeth likened a great deal of Alison's behavior to her own father's. While Pat Ryan had never literally run away from his daughter in the way that Jason's mother had run away from him, Pat still found a way to run. He locked a large part of his heart away from his daughter and what made matters worse was that he withheld her mother, or the memory of her mother away from her as well. In Elizabeth's mind, at least Jason had known his father and his mother for that matter. He had memories of them both during better times in their lives whereas she had neither. Elizabeth never knew Colleen Ryan and in reality she barely knew the man who was her father. "Don't hate me for saying this," she turned and looked at him. "I know Alison's a tough pill to swallow but couldn't you try to cut her some slack?"

"You are kidding me right?" Jason couldn't believe what she was asking.

"Not at all. What little I know about your relationship with your mother is from what I have witnessed and I will admit that that's not been in a favorable light. But I can't help but feel for her at times. I can't imagine losing the man I loved and what that would do to me. I'm not saying how she's acted or treated you is right but neither one of us has lived in her shoes. We don't know what it takes her to go on day after day without the man she loved."

Jason looked at her as she continued and for the first time had the slightest glimmer of feeling for his mom. Watching Elizabeth now, he couldn't imagine what it would be like for him if god forbid something happened and she was taken from this earth. He had no idea how he would have gone on – he loved her that much even though he hadn't had the guts to tell her yet. And he knew if the love his parents shared was even half of what he left for Elizabeth Ryan some of his mother's actions were justified.

"But you don't understand – my mom she drives me crazy. She just pushes my buttons."

"Then don't let her," Elizabeth said thinking how ironic this conversation was since she herself wasn't very good at not letting her own buttons be pushed. "You know what you are up against. She doesn't want you racing. I seriously doubt she will ever change her mind about that. So don't engage her in the argument. Just be firm in what you want and tell her you'll have to agree to disagree on that subject."

Jason raised his brows with skeptism. "Oh yeah like that will ever work," he laughed.

"Can't you at least try? If not for me then Jake?"

Jason looked at the impish grin playing at the corners of Elizabeth's lips "You know that's not fair," he scoffed.

"I never claimed to be playing fair," she giggled. "Come on if we don't hurry we are going to be late."

"Fine." He threw his hands up in defeat. "I still think this is a bad idea," he said as the door clicked behind them.

"Stop fidgeting woman," Jake instructed for the last ten minutes he had watched as Alison arranged and rearranged the various flatware, glass and cup and saucer that sat in front of her.

"I can't. I don't know about this Jake. Maybe I should have just stayed home."

"No you shouldn't have. This is a family dinner and the last time I checked you were Jason's mother."

Alison closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. She hadn't been Jason's mother in quite some time and it was very apparent to her that he wasn't much in need of one anymore. "I have my doubts about that," she countered.

"Ali, that's enough. Just relax and enjoy the evening with Jason and Elizabeth." He patted her shaking hand gently. "Here they come now," Jake announced as he saw the young couple making their way through the crowded restaurant.

Alison turned her head and saw them heading toward the table. She felt her heart stop for a second, literally the man coming in her direction could have been her late husband. Jason looked that much like Erik. She balled her hands into tiny fists and tried to gain her composure. She watched as Jason pulled out a chair and offered it to Elizabeth who gave him a slight smile before sitting down.

"Have any trouble finding the place?" Jake asked.

"No your directions were great," Elizabeth said. "Jason drives and I navigate. This is a gorgeous restaurant," she said looking around. "Very elegant."

"Now you see why I was worried about Jason having nothing to wear," Jake grinned. "See you cleaned him up nicely though."

"Hey," Jason said.

"I did do a nice job didn't I?" Elizabeth laughed.

"HEY!" he said again. "I'm sitting right here!" Jake and Elizabeth turned and started laughing at the bewildered expression on Jason's face. "Very funny," he said mocking them with a fake laugh of his own.

Alison sat quietly watching the three of them banter back and forth suddenly feeling so out of place. They were so in sync with one another and in a bizarre sort of way that hurt her even though she knew she was to blame for the part she hadn't played in Jason's life. Reaching for her water glass, Alison continued starring at them, especially, Elizabeth Ryan over its rim. Admittedly there was not a reason for the feelings that she felt toward her other than that she was entrenched in the racing world, but from where Alison Morgan sat that was more than enough. It was more than a little obvious that her son was smitten with the young girl and for her that only spelled trouble. The more people in Jason's life tied to the track the longer he would be as well.

"What are we celebrating?" she asked when she noticed the threesome clinking glasses. "Jason's finally come to his senses and decided to give up this ridiculous racing."

"Alison," Jake's tone was harsh. "We discussed this!"

Immediately after those words had left Alison's mouth Elizabeth reached over and placed her hand over Jason's trying to remind him of their talk back at the hotel. She knew this was why he had not wanted to come tonight. He turned and looked at her and she could see the frustration swirling behind his deep blue eyes. She nodded her understanding.

"Yes, we did Jake but I never got an answer to my question."

"Don't you mean you didn't get the answer you wanted?" Jason asked calmly.

"Ali, I warned you…" Jake began thoroughly pissed off at the woman sitting next to him.

"So you did. I just want to know Jason's decision. Is there anything wrong with that?" she asked oh so innocently.

"No mother, it's not," Jason said as he curled Elizabeth's fingers in his own. He wanted so much to do what she had asked him earlier to do and he really didn't want to fight anymore. He wanted to leave the past in the past where it belonged and that included his mother as well.

"And?" she pressed.

"No I won't be quitting," he said firmly as he watched her features fall. "I'm sure that's not the answer you wanted to hear but it's the answer just the same. So if you are about to go on and on about the evils of racing please spare us all," he said hoping not to sound as sarcastic as his own ears heard the remark. "It's my life and my decision to make. Lord knows you have expressed you opinion on the subject on enough occasions that the whole world should know it by now. But that's not going to change my choice. So if possible could we please not do this again?"

Elizabeth squeezed Jason's hand so proud of his composure since she knew what that had taken for him to do. And it didn't hurt to see Alison Morgan for once stunned silent. Before she could stop herself, Elizabeth leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. "You did good," she whispered quietly.

Jason smiled at the comment and to the outsiders on the other side of the table the scene looked like lovers sharing some private joke – which Alison Morgan took was at her expense.

Jake starred at Jason for a moment amazed at the young man's self-control. He had thought he would be refereeing bout nine million between mother and son but that wasn't the case. Jason was calm and collected while he stated his position and it was easy for Jake to see the reason for it – Elizabeth. He smiled broadly it was such a shame that Pat couldn't let himself see what a wonderful daughter he had in her.

"So if we are going to spend the night passing snide remarks and insults back and forth Elizabeth and I will be leaving."

"The hell you will!" Jake interjected. "I said we were going to have dinner and damn well we are going to."

"Jake, I think Jason's right," Elizabeth said knowing that Jason had already been through so much in the past few weeks that he didn't need to sit through an evening filled with his mother shooting daggers at him from across the table. "I know your heart's in the right place but maybe it's better if we just go."

"NO!" the older man angrily banged his hand on the table. "It's been ages since I have seen either one of you and you are leaving tomorrow. And it will still be a few weeks before I will be getting back to Charlotte. We are having dinner damn it! Now woman," he said turning to Alison. "Enough is enough already! I refuse to let this ruin our evening. So you think you can sit here and keep your mouth shut or do I have to tape it shut?"

Elizabeth stifled a giggle that was at the back of her throat at Jake's outburst but she wasn't able to stop the smile that covered her lips. Jake had done what she had wanted so much to do herself but out of respect for Jason she had held her tongue.

"Well!" Jake's anger had gotten the better of him.

"Fine," she said in a disgruntled tone never once making eye contact with anyone at the table. She then flagged down the nearest waitress and promptly ordered a martini extra dry.

"Can I get anyone else something?" the woman asked. The remaining three also ordered a cocktail all knowing they were in for a long evening.

As the evening progressed things quieted down and although Alison said very little for the remainder of the night the vibe at the table wasn't lost on her. In her heart she knew she had long lost the battle of getting Jason off the track. It was as much a part of him as it had been his father and that's the part she had fallen in love with in the first place – Erik's free spirit and sense of adventure. Her son embodied that. She watched as he laughed at something Jake said and her heart ached. She did love him and she missed him more than she knew how to express yet how was she supposed to get passed what had caused her to act this way in the first place? That was a question she had been tackling for years now.

Jake asked for another refill on his coffee and looked across the table at Elizabeth and Jason. He smiled at them. It was so evident the feelings the two felt for one another his only thought was had either of them acknowledged them yet. He made a mental note that if by the time he had got himself back to North Carolina they hadn't he'd have to give them a not so gentle nudge.

"If you'll excuse me," Elizabeth said reaching for her purse. Jason gave her a panicked look as she started to walk away.

"For heaven sakes she's just going to the ladies room. She's not running away," Jake joked enjoying the fact that he had caught Jason's unsettled look. Elizabeth laughed at the both of them before turning and heading away. "Where are you going?" Jake asked when Alison stood up.

"I think I'll join her," she announced.

Both Jason and Jake's eyes widened as the idea of Alison and Elizabeth alone sent a myriad of thoughts through their minds. "Where are you going?" Jake questioned Jason when he stood up.

"Where do you think I'm going?" he shot back.

"If you are thinking ladies room – son I hate to break it to you you have one too many parts," Jake chuckled trying to lighten the mood. Jason's actions in wanting to protect Elizabeth from his mother just confirmed what he already suspected his feelings were. "Elizabeth can hold her own. Things will be fine. Now sit back down." Reluctantly Jason did as he was told.

Elizabeth tried not to roll her eyes when she stepped out of the stall and saw Jason's mother primping in front of the mirror. Quickly washing her hands, Elizabeth was thankful that there was another person besides the two of them in the ladies room however that didn't last for long. Just as Elizabeth pulled out her lipstick that person left giving Alison the opportunity she had been looking for all evening. "Elizabeth."

"Yes?" she said not really wanting to though.

"What are your intentions towards my son?" she asked frankly.

Elizabeth stood dumbfounded unsure how to even begin to answer that.