Live for yourself this time around, Little Alchemist
Chapter 001
Author: Black Dragon on the Rocks/Animealam/Alandrem
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Nope, the characters here don't belong to me. I'm not making any money out of this, and it's for my own enjoyment and that of those who read it.
Summary: Truth did not accept Ed's alchemy as payment for his brother, instead It asked for Ed's body and two favors. Ed would be able to do what no male alchemist could, bring forth life. The favors? Save a world were his counterpart died after the Human Transmutation, and live for herself this time around. Ed agreed, he'd do anything for Alphonse even becoming a girl. Not Mpreg, no slash.
Characters: Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Truth, Jean Havoc, Heyman Breda, Kain Fuery, Vato Falman, Granny Pinako, Winry, King Bradley, Various Homunculi, Alphonse Elric, Van Hohenheim, OCs, Mentions of the Avengers, Maybe some Avengers, Tony Stark almost a given.
Warnings: Time Travel, Dimension Travel, De-Aging, Fem!Ed, Violence, Angst, Drama, Gore, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Alternate Universe, OOCness,
Pairing: Future Fem!Ed/Roy... maybe.
Timeline: Mixed timelines. Starts with Brotherhood - Post Promised Day, then it's mostly Anime 2003 until after Youswell, Some Brotherhood, Starts - Post Ed's 1st human transmutation, Avengers Movie.
Author Notes: Well, I'm working on a new fandom this time. I've had this story for quite a while (over a year), and have been working on and off on it, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to post it. Frankly the story has grown quite large. At the moment I have ten written chapters, and ideas for several more. Not counting the notes, I have about 60k done already, and it's really going to be a very, very long story.
I'll post this chapter, and depending on the response, I'll keep posting more once a week, or a couple of weeks. Will depend on how many chapters ahead I have. I'm not asking for any number of kudos, or reviews, but a comment of two would be helpful
Words with Notes: 5,524 (W/O Notes: 5,167) (Notes: 357)
They won, Father and the homunculi were gone, and Amestris was safe. They survived, not all intact, but most of them were still alive, which in Ed's opinion was all they could have hoped for, seeing as that bastard had wanted them all dead. Now there was only one thing left for him to do, and it was not only to keep the promise he made to Al when everything began—which was to give him his body back—but to also get his soul, which his idiot brother had traded for his flesh arm in the heat of battle.
Edward could not deny Alphonse's sacrifice was a decisive factor for their triumph over Father, because without it he had been useless, but Ed was still not happy to have lost him; not after all they had been through to get his little brother's body back. He knew Truth would not return Alphonse easily, but Ed believed he had what he needed to pay the toll the bastard would ask for him.
After announcing to those present it would be his last transmutation—and accepting his… father's sacrifice for him so he could return without losing another limb, or a sense like Mustang—Ed clapped his hands as he visualized the circle he needed to end at his Gate. He had been there enough times already that he really did not need to draw a human transmutation array anymore.
As he expected, Truth was there, along with Al's body and Gate. The bastard actually looked pleased to see him, which Ed thought was unnerving. They had been in silence staring at each other until the young alchemist could not take it anymore.
"I've come for my little brother, Asshole," Ed informed the bastard. His tone let Truth know he was not leaving without Alphonse.
"As I knew you would, Little Alchemist." The youth made it clear, from the second time he appeared before It voluntarily, he was not leaving his brother's body there. Now it was more than just the body, but the Little Alchemist was stubborn enough to attempt to retrieve his brother from death.
He gave up an arm for his brother's soul when he was a small child, and would have given much more than that if Truth had demanded it. The exchange back then had not really been equivalent, but It had been intrigued by the young human's will power, determination, and love for his younger brother. Besides, the Little Alchemist had paid whatever toll had been left pending through the years… with interest because his life had not been an easy one, even if he did his best to hide it, specially from his younger brother.
"What are you willing to give in exchange?" It asked intrigued again.
"My Gate," Ed told the bastard. 'My alchemy,' he thought, because now he knew the Gates were what gave alchemists their power.
"I see..." It was a bit surprised at that, Truth had not thought the Little Alchemist would be willing to part with his alchemy.
The youth was the most powerful and brilliant alchemist in their world, even above his father, and the young one did not have the advantages Hohenheim had had. He was not using a Philosopher's Stone, because Edward Elric did not need it. There was so much for him to do, and he would only get better, because he was still so young. It was... not pleased with the young alchemist's decision.
"Are you sure you can live without alchemy, to become an ordinary human, Little One?"
"I. AM. NOT. LITTLE!" Ed growled. He had actually grown, while he was slightly below the average height for an Amestrian of his age group, he was taller than Winry now, and she was tall for a girl. "And yes, I can live without it. I have friends, and family with me, that's all I need, because an ordinary human is all I ever been, Bastard."
The answer was the right one to such a question, yet It was still not pleased, specially because Truth did not consider Alphonse Elric an equivalent exchange for the youth's alchemy; not with the young human's potential. Truth was not counting the fact he actually owed the Little Alchemist for all he had been put through—although it probably should—and which had counted as part of the toll paid for the human transmutation.
"Your answer is the correct one, Mr. Al-che-mist, but the exchange is not equivalent," Truth told the youngster, then just waited for the explosion, and the youth did not disappoint.
"WHAT?" Ed had been so sure his Gate would be enough. "Then take my soul as well." He was sorry to leave Al alone, but he HAD to make things right for his brother. It had been his mistake, and his own childish arrogance which got them in trouble, and it should be him who paid the price for what they tried to do.
"You misunderstand me, young one. It's your brother who isn't enough," It pointed out.
"Not enough?" He asked dumbfounded. 'How can Al not be enough?' His little brother meant everything to him. "But... but you said there was nothing equivalent to a soul..."
"We are not talking just about his body and soul, which he willingly sacrificed for your flesh arm," It reminded the young alchemist. "But about all those souls your alchemy helped free, and all those who were, and will be saved in the future by the Fullmetal Alchemist."
Ed stared shocked, because he had not expected Truth would be thinking about what Ed would do with his alchemy in the future. His shoulders slumped because he was not sure there was a way to top whatever good he had not done yet.
"Then, what do you want for my brother, Bastard?" Ed would give his arm again... hell all of his limbs for Alphonse.
"I'm... not certain," It said surprising the youth, and itself, being uncertain was not something which had happened to It before.
"Take the arm back, heck both of them if you want to, and my good leg as well, but please give me my little brother back," Ed practically begged. Having automail was no walk in the park, hell, it was fucking painful, but Alphonse was worth any pain he suffered, Ed could live with it, as long as his little brother was back on the land of the living.
"Go take a trip through your Gate while I think," Truth said waiving its hand dismissively towards the Little Alchemist's Gate. The black hands were already coming out of the open Gate, and grabbed the surprised youth before he had a chance to fight them off. "I rarely do this, but this one is on me. Consider your toll for this trip already paid, Mr Al-che-mist."
It was already pondering what to do as the youth was hauled back into his Gate, so Truth turned away from the young alchemist in dismissal, and plopped itself on the floor to think what to do with the human who had been through the Gate more times than any other alchemist before him. There must be something It needed which would make the exchange equivalent.
It found itself in a dilemma, something which had happened so rarely Truth had forgotten the last time it came across one. The Little Alchemist was simply too intriguing, as well as entertaining, It really did not want the still human child—regardless of what the little alchemist thought of himself—to stop using alchemy. He was too promising for It to let go.
As It thought, its attention was drawn to other Gates it watched over. There was trouble in one of the many worlds behind the Gates. There was always conflict, life could not go on without it, but whatever popped up, it usually resolved itself without It having to do anything. For a Gate to draw Its attention, it meant the problem would not—or even could not—be resolved without some form of intervention, which Truth usually avoided.
As It saw which world it was, Truth sighed, and pinched where the bridge of its nose actually was, even if only it knew it was there. Had it been human, Truth would have probably been feeling a migraine. As promising, and intelligent as Edward Elric was, he was also problematic in ALL the versions there were of him... not all of them male.
There were many versions of the Universe, what some humans from Earth had come to call the multi-verse. Most did not believe in their existence, thinking it was the wild imaginings of a few, or a theory which could not yet be proven by others, but those skeptical humans were wrong. At the moment the Edward Elric from one of those parallel Realities had just gotten herself killed... by her own hand at eleven years of age, and by that action, she had unknowingly doomed the whole planet.
A planet which was—in Its opinion—one of the best amalgamations of Earth and Amestris It had created. An Earth—because that was what the humans outside of the Mid Pacific Continent called it—which was nearly a century in the future; one where there were others with powers besides alchemy. Truth sighed again, It REALLY did not want to lose that Parallel Universe, when it was turning out to be better than many of Its previous experiments.
With a wave of its hand, Truth left that Dimension paused until It could decide how to proceed, then It watched the current Elric's Gate contemplatively. It had to admit this one was probably the best version of them all, the most motivated and determined. But he was also the one whose sole existence had been focused on his little brother up to that point in time. He began taking responsibilities which were not his own after his father left, and then after their mother died.
The Little Alchemist had assumed the roles of his missing father and dead mother for his brother, even when he was a child in need of parents as well. All things considered, the Little Alchemist had done a very good job raising his brother, and himself; even if several of those humans who knew him might disagree. Truth was not human, did not have human emotions, and yet... It was not satisfied with this Elric's life so far, the Little Alchemist deserved... something better. Perhaps... yes, yes, that should work, and solve two problems at once.
The Gate actually spat Ed after what appeared to be an eternity, and he felt like his head was going to explode due to the amount of knowledge he had gained, more than in previous trips. He landed hard on his ass, surprised at the pain on his tail bone. Should he be feeling pain in that... area of his anatomy? It was not like his physical body was actually there, unlike Al's. At least Ed did not think that was the case. He stood up, and rubbed his behind absently, then he noticed Truth eyeing—or what passed for it for a being without eyes—him speculatively.
"Well, Bastard, have you decided what you want for Al?" He demanded, hiding the fact he was slightly creeped out by the way Truth... er... looked at him.
"I have," Truth said gravely because it knew the Little Alchemist would not like the toll it was asking for his brother, but would still agree to it.
"And?" Ed prompted crossing his arms to hide the fact he was actually nervous as to what the bastard was going to demand from him.
"I want you, and two favors," It stated solemnly.
"Me?" He asked uncrossing his arms, and panting at himself. If he thought about it, that was... actually equivalent, a body for a body and a soul for a soul. The two favors he was not sure, but for Al he would do anything. "You ha..."
"Not yet," Truth stopped the boy. "If you agree without knowing what I require of you, the exchange will not be equivalent."
Ed sighed, at least he would not be going into whatever that asshole wanted blind, which was an improvement, because no matter what it was, he was doing it for Alphonse. "OK, I'm listening," he said crossing his arms again, and giving the asshole his full attention.
"Most humans believe there is only one Universe—" It began, only to be interrupted.
"There are more?" Ed could not help asking, finding that hard to believe.
"—when in truth there are trillions," Truth went on ignoring the interruption, "with some continually disappearing, while others are created at the same time. All of them are versions of primary ones, for example, your own is a Primary Universe, and depending on the decisions the humans make, new... Realities or Dimensions are created or destroyed. With me so far, Little Alchemist?"
"Yes," Ed ground out. It was not that difficult to understand, even if it was difficult to believe, yet he had to take Truth's words as... well, the truth.
"You won, and did well in your Reality, but a version of you died before its time in one of my Fullmetal Alchemist Universes," and the name got him a raised eyebrow from the Little Alchemist, Truth decided to ignore him, "one of the most promising ones, and doomed it because there won't be anyone to stop the homunculi. I don't want to lose it."
"You want me to take over the version of me there, and take on Father again?" Now, that was... he was not exactly sure what it was, but Truth was a manipulative bastard, if there ever was one. Could he actually go through all that again, when they had just defeated Father? It did not take him long to decide, he would do whatever was necessary to get Alphonse's body and soul back where they belonged.
"Bingo!" It actually clapped. "That is favor number one, and as you well know, no easy feat. Know that if you agree, you won't ever go back to your own Dimension, Little Alchemist. You will be dead to them, and you know the dead cannot be brought back to life. Now, this ties with favor number two.
"You will LIVE, Edward Elric, not just exist for the sole purpose of giving your brother his body back. You still need to become a State Alchemist, but you must give yourself the chance to be a... teenager, specially because the Alphonse Elric of that Dimension died in an accident shortly before your counterpart performed the Human Transmutation..."
"Alphonse died?" Ed interrupted in shock. He was not sure he could live in a place where his little brother was gone. Al was everything to him.
"Yes, and YOU had nothing to do with it. He tripped with his undone shoe laces, fell down your house's stairs, and broke his neck."
"The other me tried to bring him back," Ed realized horrified. "It was Al, and not Mom."
"The little idiot tried both, at the same time," Truth deadpanned.
"Oh fuck!" Ed exclaimed in shock as his knees gave out. The amount of power needed... and the toll... "That killed him."
"No, it didn't. You counterpart is actually the most powerful version of you all. The fact that the Hohenheim of that Dimension experimented on his own child..."
"THE BASTARD DID WHAT?" he exclaimed in shock.
Ed now knew his father had somewhat cared about them, and actually left to protect them—among other things, even if Ed still could not reconcile with, or completely forgive, the abandonment he felt all those years ago—so he could not believe what the asshole said. Hohenheim did have some morals, and experimenting on his children would certainly go against them.
"He did love his children," Truth confirmed, "and what he did was actually to protect them from the Dwarf in the Flask and its homunculi. He wanted them to have a fighting chance, because physically no human could have defeated a homunculi, but his enhancements would have done precisely that. Unfortunately, he never got around to do the same to his youngest son.
"Your counterpart never used drawn arrays, and did not even need to clap, although the youngster did. The child was stronger, more agile, faster, more flexible, with sharper senses, and a seventh sense... a Warning/Danger Sense. He also gave the child magic, and while it exists in that Universe, the version he copied comes from another Dimension.
"Magic does not follow the laws of equivalent exchange, and it's imperative that you accept this, because otherwise you won't be able to use it to its full potential. Magic does have rules, they simply are in contradiction with those of other... Disciplines.
"As to your counterpart becoming a magical being, this was possible because, unlike the one you know, that Hohenheim discovered the existence of Parallel Universes. He freed some of the souls he had to travel between Dimensions."
"That me is a chimera!" Ed exclaimed shocked, because, how else could Hohenheim achieve all those characteristics in a human, but to merge them with animals who had them?
"No, Little Alchemist, your counterpart is 100% human, although a modified one, and is not the only modified human in that particular Reality. Your father has always been a wanderer, and it just happens the world outside the Mid Pacific Continent"—Truth thought those humans were really not very creative with its name—"is much larger, and for a while it was more advanced, even if alchemy is unknown outside of it.
"There are other modified humans in other countries who were created by scientists, as well as naturally mutated ones. The science and technology of this particular Reality are much more advanced than you could ever imagine, as it is over ninety years ahead of where you come from.
"With the modifications Hohenheim made to your counterpart—whose body you will inhabit—you'll have the tools needed to fight the homunculi, and take care of Father, even if you don't have a brother to act as backup. If you wish, you can make yourself a companion, be assured you will have the means to do so, and it might not be a bad idea with your propensity to find trouble." The later Truth added as an afterthought.
"If I do this for you, you'll give Al back? You'll let him live?" Ed asked already knowing he would accept whatever Truth asked of him no matter what it was.
"Yes," Truth confirmed, then offered to sweeten the deal for the Little Alchemist, "your brother will even be in the physical shape a boy his age should have. It'll be like he had never lost his body. He will be completely healthy."
"Ok..." Ed agreed, and passed a hand through his messy hair. It was going to be hard living without Alphonse by his side, but he would do his best, because the one he grew up with would still be alive, just not where Ed could see him again. "How did he... my counterpart... die?" He could not help asking as the bastard said the Human Transmutation had not killed him.
Truth was silent for a moment knowing his answer would not sit well with the young one, even when It knew the Little Alchemist would still accept the deal. "She killed herself shortly after the Flame Alchemist's visit. She had nothing to live for without her brother."
"She..." Ed gasped, and now he understood why the bastard wanted him to wait before deciding; how... considerate of It. "My body..." now he could see why It wanted that.
"Yes," Truth responded simply.
"I am no girl." Although his long hair had him confused with one more than once. Those who did regretted it.
"She was a tomboy, and like you she raised herself and her brother to the best of her abilities since your mother died," Truth countered. "Thankfully the social standards of that Dimension aren't as restrictive as your own. She hasn't worn a dress since her mother's funeral, and doesn't have to unless it's something she really wants."
"But, I... like women," he said slowly. Truth be told, he was not so certain he liked only women... his eyes had strayed towards men more often than not, but... that did not mean he preferred men over women... right?
"Are you certain?" Truth enquired already knowing the answer. It, after all, knew the young alchemist better than he knew himself.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ed was not sure he liked the implication. He glared at the bastard.
Men liking men, and women liking women was... taboo in Amestris, and it was also a death sentence. It was even considered a worse sin than Human Transmutation. The Führer had written laws against such relationships, and while Ed was not one to follow the rules, he had seen what was done to those who broke this particular law before they were... executed. It was... awful.
"You never allowed yourself to even think about it, Little Alchemist; and it was not just your country's laws against same gender couples. Your whole being was focused on getting your brother's body back, the Philosopher's Stone, and later defeating Father. You did not even allow yourself to do what all teenagers do, which is to explore your own body," Truth pointed out.
"Shuddup!" Ed exclaimed mortified, and he was sure his face was redder than his coat had been.
He could not deny wanting to explore, specially after he started having those... dreams, but Al was around most of the time, and Ed was not about to... touch himself with him there, or just in the other room. Besides, he was not completely... ignorant about sex, Ed had read several books in the library, and heard soldiers talking about it in... great detail. He had even accidentally caught a few people going at it, and that was... way too awkward, and embarrassing.
"I am you, Little One. You are latching to that girl because she's familiar, she's comfortable, safe, and everyone expects you to—even her—but she won't make you happy. You will exist, but not truly live. This is your chance to decide what you want, and who you want, your chance to do what no male alchemist can. Create and bring forth life."
"You give me your word Al will have a healthy body, and you won't collect a toll from him? You will let him live a good life, you won't mess with him?" Ed needed to know that what he was giving up was worth the sacrifice, that leaving Alphonse alone, and changing what he was, was the right decision.
"He will, and I will allow him to live without anymore intervention on my part," Truth promised.
Ed took a deep breath and slowly let it out. 'For Alphonse, I'm doing this for him because he's worth it.' "Then..." he took another deep breath, steeling himself for the literally life changing decision he was going to take. "Then I agree," he said standing tall, his chin up.
"Good," Truth said with a satisfied nod, and Alphonse Elric appeared.
The younger boy's body was naked, with his dull golden blond hair long enough to reach his knees. He was so thin, pale, and frail, but Ed suspected that was to be expected. He had been there for nearly five years, and Alphonse's body had still grown; it was not the body of a ten year old, but a fifteen year old teenager, which pleased him. It would have been awful for Al to have a little kid's body when he was not one.
Then, before Ed's eyes, Alphonse began filling up, and gaining both muscles—like he should have with the way he fought, and he had always been the better fighter—and color. Before long, his brother looked completely healthy, and he stood up. Al was about a head taller than Ed—to his chagrin. His muscles were not as defined as his own, but then, his younger brother did not have to deal with the extra weight of automail.
"Brother?" Al asked as he saw Ed before his Gate in that white place. He looked the worse for wear, but alive, and with two flesh arms. "Did we win?"
"Al!"
He rushed to his baby brother, and hugged him with all he had, tears flowing freely, something he had rarely allowed himself, not until Alphonse had his body back and could cry again. Ed understood Truth was being generous, allowing him to say goodbye, to see his brother healthy and well, because he would not have a brother where he was going.
"I love you, Alphonse. I love you more than anything in this world," he said, voice full of emotion. "Never forget that. You're my life, little brother."
"Ed? What?" Al asked confused and scared. His brother was not one for those emotional displays, specially not those where he actually cried, which he was doing. He still returned the hug, because it was something he had wanted to do since that night. "What's wrong, Brother?"
"This is goodbye, Al. I won't be coming back with you," he said still not letting go.
"No! No brother, you can't! You can't give your life for me!"
"You gave yours for me, why can't I do the same?" he asked, then added hoping it would help his brother accept his decision. "I… I won't die, at least not because of this. Truth asked... a couple of favors in exchange for your body and soul. I'll be going away to a... new world to take care of a problem for the bastard," he explained.
"Then you'll come back?" He asked hopeful.
"No, once I go there I can't come back, and nothing will bring me back," he stated firmly to keep his brother from trying to recur to human transmutation to get him back. "My... body will be dead back home, but I won't be. Don't do anything stupid, Alphonse..."
"That's what you do, and this IS stupid!" He pushed his shorter older brother at arms length to give him a stern look.
"No it's not," he insisted. "Please understand, Al. You're everything to me..."
"What about Winry?"
Ed sighed, Truth was right about his feelings for her, and the fact people were really pushing her on him, including his little brother. "It's complicated. She's more like a sister to me. I love her, but not THAT way. She and everyone expect us to be together..."
"So you're doing this to avoid her?" Al's brows furrowed realizing that yeah, people were not so subtly pushing Ed towards Winry. Edward never took well to people trying to manipulate him.
"No, I'm doing this because it's the only way for you to go back body and soul," he said firmly. "The only way for you to actually have a life, a family, and for you to be safe. There are still people out there who would love to tear the armor apart wanting to know how the blood seal works."
"Ed, you don't know what you're getting into..." Alphonse started knowing his brother tended to jump into things before he thought things through.
"Actually, I do," and he smirked at his little brother's surprised face. "Truth wouldn't allow me to make a decision until I knew what it was asking of me."
"That's... considerate of It." There was sarcasm in his tone, and a glare directed at the white being.
"Please, Al... I already agreed, and It's already gotten your body and soul together, as well as healed you as part of the exchange. This was just goodbye... and to ask you to let me go, as nothing will bring me back."
"I'm... angry," Al said after being quiet for a few moments.
"I... I don't blame you." He really could not. Al had all the right in the world to be angry with him for leaving him alone.
"But... I did the same for you." He had, after all, given his soul for his brother's arm. With a resigned sigh, Al pulled Ed into a tight hug. "I... love you too, Ed. You did your best to be brother, father, mother, and friend to me. I won't forget you, and I'll miss you so very much."
"I'll miss you too, little brother. Be happy, and give me several nieces and nephews."
"Time to go," Truth said. It had no human emotions, but it found them interesting. The younger Elric was pulled through his Gate, not giving him any chance to say more. "The information you need for the new Dimension, as well as your counterpart's memories will be transferred when you cross the Gate, Little Alchemist. You will be able to make changes to the timeline, and save some lives, but remember, not everyone can be saved..."
"What about..." Ed started to say, because he had just realized there might be a chance to save Nina, as well as Hughes.
He had not known them for long, but he felt guilty for their death. He should have noticed the signs of Tucker's first talking chimera being a human one, yet he did not, and poor Nina paid the price. As to Hughes, he got too close to the truth of what were the homunculus plans for Amestris and its population; and it was Ed's fault. It had been his discovery of what the Philosopher's Stone was, as well as what happened in lab five, which led Hughes to investigate further, and to become the homunculi's target.
"The girl and the family man can be saved," Truth decided to inform the youth. It knew those deaths weighted heavily on his soul, "and as I said, you can make changes. There are some events that no matter what you do, cannot be changed, the main example being Promised Day."
"But..." Ed started to protest. If there was one catastrophic event he wanted to avoid, it was that one.
"It will happen, no matter what you do. But while you cannot stop it, you can indeed be better prepared for it, and make things less difficult for your side. You won't be able to tell anyone about being a Dimension Traveler..." Truth went on, "although you can hint it to the Flame Alchemist and his best friend, they can put two and two together and come up with four.
"Be warned, there ARE more differences between the Dimensions besides your counterpart being female and being several decades in the future. I'll send you to that first meeting with the Flame Alchemist, which won't be the same as the one you lived through before... oh, and State Alchemists can be female in this Reality, although there are none yet. Remember to live, Little Alchemist."