Chapter 3: Mummy Curses For Fun and Profit

The Stacked Deck- The Bowery

Two-Face scanned the makeshift conference room, taking count of the various fellow super-criminals who had managed to show up- namely the Riddler, Scarecrow, Clayface, Killer Croc, and Killer Moth.

"Well, this is a lot smaller than I thought it'd be…" Scarecrow said.

Just then, the door swung open, and a blond-haired woman in a red-and-black ensemble proceeded to skate in, with a younger brunette in a Pierrot costume following her.

"Didn't you go legit after what happened with Joker?" Clayface asked as he eyed the newly-arrived Harley Quinn.

Harley nodded.

"So, what're you doing back with the likes of us?" Croc asked.

"After the B-Man sent Mister J to another funny farm upstate, I tried to turn a new leaf, but a gal with my history doesn't have the best job prospects, y'know?"

"Preach it, sister." Killer Moth piped up.

"So to make a long story short, I managed to get myself into a roller derby team-"

"Which one?" Scarecrow asked.

"Burnside Birdies. Anyways, things were lookin' up, I figured I'd finally gone legit- and then it turned out my paycheck barely covered rent and utilities."

"Doesn't explain why you're with us again instead of, say, striking out on your own." Two-Face replied.

"Ya see, I'm lookin' for one last big score- somethin' I can use to make myself a nice little nest egg."

"Buona fortuna." (Good luck with that.) Harley's brunette companion snarked.

"At least I tried, Pagliacci! You just went to Riddler once everything Mister J built began to crumble into dust!"

"Where else was I supposed to go?!"

"QUIET!" Two-Face bellowed.

Dead silence filled the room.

"Now, Harley, you said you're looking for one last big score?"

"Me and the rest of the Gang of Harleys."

"Oddio, ci sei più di te?" (Oh God, there's more of you?) Pagliacci asked.

Two-Face sharply exhaled.

"Well, lucky for us that a golden opportunity's dropped right into our laps."

Harley's eyes went wide.

"Okay, Harv- you had my curiosity, but now you've got my attention."

Pagliacci let out a snort.

"Oh, good- another chance for us to be chased through the city by a crazed pyrokinetic cokehead who just won't shut up!"

"Well, the good news is that we're not going anywhere near Snowflame this time."

Pagliacci sighed in relief.

"So, what're we going after this time?"

"Scuttlebutt on the street and in the Iceberg Lounge is that the Museum of Antiquities managed to get themselves a mummy and its loot for an upcoming exhibit."

"Um, Harv, ain't it a bad idea to rob mummies since they can, y'know-" Harley began.

"Yeah, I know about mummy curses- and that's what I'm banking on."

"…come again?" Scarecrow asked.

"See, one of my contacts at the museum've told me that apparently, this pharaoh's curse is that if you loot his stuff, he loots yours right back. And if there's a mummy with sticky fingers going around Gotham, then who's going to notice if we help him a bit?"

"And if the curse is just a load of hot air?" Riddler asked.

"Then one of us makes sure it hits the morning papers anyways so that it gives us some cover."

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

If you're wondering who Pagiacci is, she's a fan character that I got permission to use in my DC universe fanfics back in late 2011/early 2012, and thus appeared in a number of Batman fanfics that I now consider to be old shames. If you want to know more about her (namely her backstory and how and why a villainess with a clown schtick got involved with the Riddler), that'll probably be revealed in Batman: Knight of Gotham when I finally get around to updating it.

As for the mentions of Harley Quinn's roller derby career and the Gang of Harleys (basically, a gang of six other women and a man who all dress like Harley), those are from her own New 52/Rebirth solo series, where she's become a full-on antihero.

If you're wondering who the "crazed pyrokinetic cokehead" that Pagliacci mentioned is, it's the Earth-55 version of Snowflame, a one-shot villain from an issue of the relatively obscure and short-lived series New Guardians whose powers were fueled by him snorting cocaine. Despite only making one appearance, Snowflame has since achieved some level of fame thanks to the web review series Atop The Fourth Wall.