Chapter 5 - I Hate You, Morpheus !

Edward's POV:

That was one of the most fun evenings I had ever spent in the presence of a mortal since I was turned. Her suffering was absolutely sublime. Every cry and grunt and plea was like cocaine to me. It went on for hours and hours…and her blood….fucking Hell…it only grew sweeter and sweeter a smell and more dangerous a pull the more she agonized under me. I love how she says my name…I love how she glares at me when she's angry with me. She needs to be stronger, though. I can't really play with her as I like to until she's tougher than this. She's a soft little child who's been spoiled all her life. I can fix that. I can bring her to the place where she needs to be so I can have my way with her. I've done it with so many others. This is going to be fun. And deep under that anger she has for me, her hate of me…there IS that part of her that wants me too. She rubbed her head against my cock and I almost took her right there. But if I did, I'd have drank her empty and by now it would be over. She'd be dead and I'd be bored again. This must last awhile. Even if I kill her in six months, it'll be a fun six months until then. This doesn't come my way often. I have to be patient and relish it.

And when she urinated on herself…strange but that was a turn on also. Her degradation, her tears….mmmm….I enjoyed it so. I am glad she cleaned her blood off the floor, if I had to do it she would've never got out of my gym alive. I was tempted to taste the blood but off the floor ? Get serious. I'm better than that. I want live blood, pulsing through her veins with her pussy in my face while I swallow…rubbing her inner thigh as I drain her…slowly oh so slowly…making her mine.

And if I could stop myself then I could have her again and again and again….until the day comes when I can't stop myself anymore. Then poor sweet Bella will die in my arms. And become another sad little lost lamb that this school could not save. Perhaps I'd put her neck in a noose and hang her from the ceiling in Dr. Carlisle's office with a note saying YOU SUCK. I laughed at the thought of it.

Dr. Carlisle…I had watched Bella in his thoughts earlier today, watching him counsel her. What a joke. A girl gets drunk and gets behind the wheel of a car, and cripples a little boy in another vehicle…and he's telling her she can get through that and that she doesn't have to feel guilty? Please. That girl's life IS over no matter what the dear doctor tells her and she knows it. Most of these girls are here because they're fucked up in some way.

This is a house of broken dolls. Why am I a villain just because I play with them ? I wonder what Miss Swan's damage is. I still can't read her thoughts. But I would slowly get to the bottom of it, in time. She will tell me everything. I would get it out of her before wonderful Dr. Carlisle would I was sure of that.

He fancies himself a do gooder, a savior of the troubled teens…he made me sick ever since he came here. His good looks made him almost look like one of us but he's not. Always so warm, so understanding, so patient…he really thinks he can save the girls I've already claimed as mine ?

Fuck you Doctor. I don't want to kill any teachers here, either, but if he ever tries to get in my way he's as good as dead. And I'll make it slow. No one else here ever came close to interfering with my business except him. He hasn't done much yet….but just the fact that he's talking to my girls and giving them hope pisses me off. There is no hope. Not for them. Not for me. And certainly not for Miss Swan.

If she tastes half as good as I think she will, I won't ever let her leave here. If I can hold out for five years or ten….or twenty…as long as I want to taste her blood and I haven't killed her then she will remain here. As a student…as a teacher….as a janitor…I don't give a fuck. She will stay. And she will do as I say.

This is the only human I've ever considered keeping that long with me before. But so far, she is checking all the boxes. We'll see if she stays that way.

I did a little more research on Miss Swan that night.

Her father was a chief of police…in Forks. Yawn. The only crime there is being too stupid. And they'd all have to go to jail if that was a crime. Mother Renee…dead. Hmm…how'd she die ?

"Suicide.", I smiled, "Lovely."

Shot herself in the head. Thanks Mommy. You've just set me up perfectly if I ever do destroy your little daughter. More clues into what Miss Swan's problem is. That can't be all though.

I kept looking and didn't see much else. Bella Swan's Forks High records show no extra cirricular activities, no clubs, no awards…nothing. It's like she was never even there. Underachiever. Typical. I dug in some of my private dark web sites and found more.

Her private records.

"Violence.", I smirked, "My dream girl."

This is not the first violent girl I've encountered here or elsewhere….I was just surprised. This frail thing had violent tendencies ? Who'd she hurt ? Toddlers ?

I could not manage to get in any further to find out the details of this violence. But that's alright. Mystery is very alluring. I would find out.

Chief Swan probably covered up this violent incident and shipped her away here to keep his good name in the town. The one child he had. What a douche. The only family he had left. Humans. And they call me names. At least I take care of my girls and don't abandon them.

I wondered if she had any history of drinking or drugs. I don't care either way but sometimes that brings out the violence in these hormonal slutty girls who've been taught to be good girls. They have to break free somehow.

At first her silent mind bothered me. But after tonight's little test drive, I decided I liked it that I can't read her thoughts or anticipate what she's going to say or do. It's like before I was turned. She surprises me. When she was giving herself that sponge bath…her perky little tits…I wanted to eat them.

I wonder if I could glamour her and get her to obey me. Maybe she would be immune to that. No matter though. I could control her in other ways. She likes my music. Even when I was playing a nasty little piece as I was hating her.

This might work out nicely, I felt really good about this. But it's only been a few days, relax boy. I sound like a giddy schoolgirl in love or something. I am not capable of love, being what I am but…if this is as close as I can get, I'll take it.

I closed my eyes and dreamed of a future day where I'd have her calling me Master. And drinking her blood any time I wanted it…and fucking her…in all her holes over and over again…it's going to be so beautiful, my tender Swan.

But I was thirsty now. So I closed my eyes and selected three girls. Jasmine…Tia…and….Jesssiiiccaaa…yesss….I called them all to come to me at once, at the same time. I had spent a lot of time with Miss Swan so I could not take them one at a time tonight.

"Wakey wakey girls.", I smiled as I watched them sleeping in their beds, "Come to Daddy. East side."

When I was finished with them, I laid in my bed, turning the page to this Vampire Lestat book Miss Swan had left behind.

Placing my bare foot over the other, I arched my naked back and kept reading it.

To be godless is probably the first step to innocence," it said, "to lose the sense of sin and subordination, the false grief for things supposed to be lost."

So by innocence you mean not an absence of experience, but an absence of illusions.

An absence of need for illusions. A love of and respect for what is right before your eyes.

"Very few beings really seek knowledge in this world. Mortal or immortal, few really ask. On the contrary, they try to wring from the unknown the answers they have already shaped in their own minds - justifications, confirmations, forms of consolation without which they can't go on. To really ask is to open the door to the whirlwind. The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner."

None of us really changes over time. We only become more fully what we are.

"I'm Gentleman Death in silk and lace, come to put out the candles. The canker in the heart of the rose."

Strong women are absolutely unpredictable.

Perhaps I was wrong about this book. It's actually not bad at that.

Well shit. Maybe the written word is not dead after all.

I looked down and saw little Jasmine there, passed out with her face resting on my cock, her long silk black hair making my ivory skin look quite attractive, like a yin yang symbol. Tia and Jessica on each side of me, resting their weak little faces on my chest.

I sighed and said, "Get up, girls."

They all woke instantly and looked around groggily, coming to their senses.

"Get dressed.", I stood and let them fall off of me, "Time to go home."

Bella's POV:

I laid there, deeper and deeper in my sleep…my window cracked open beside me. I tried to rest but my mind couldn't stop going crazy…mutterings of his voice reading about volleyball kept bouncing around in the corners of my head…I whimpered out loud, wishing it would silence itself but it wouldn't.

Then I turned and looked out my window, expecting to see the dim orange lights out there, lighting the way for anyone who might be walking out there…the moon also gave a nice glow of white light, dancing off the blackness. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else.

When I opened my eyes a moment later, I saw his eyes there, staring at me through the opened part of my little window.

I should've screamed but I didn't. I was too tired. And my heartbeat increased in its pumping…his face just stared at me…then it rose up higher, showing me that long perfect nose and pouting lush lips beneath, a wet gloss to them as if he'd just licked his lips a second before. The cleft in his chin came into view and without a word, his hand slid in, pushing the window further up.

I swallowed and just watched him…as if he were a deadly python slithering into my bed.

He crawled up and I could see the moonlight painting his already white skin even more translucent looking. His chest was bare….and so was the rest of his body as he easily crawled in.

I felt my chest labor a bit as I breathed, both scared and pleased at the same time.

He came slowly to me, at the foot of my bed. His eyes moved over me without cruelty….only want.

My body instinctively shivered, knowing how fast his wrath could return.

He moved around my bed…his finger moving along my sheets as he arrived to the head of my bed. I just watched him, trapped in his spell, he moved like water and wind…like smoke.

With a small smile, he climbed over me, careful not to press too hard on me as his erect cock nearly touched my mouth. He kept his body over mine and I felt his fingers on my shorts, his sharp fingers moving roughly over my pussy.

"Uhhh", I let out a breath, my hands rising and curling around his legs that straddled my head. I touched the perfect hard toned muscles and clawed them a little, then I let my evil little fingers find his ass and I dug my fingernails in, his hot soft flesh exciting me more.

I felt my shorts ripping and tearing in his fingers and he yanked those off me, my skin pinching a bit as he did…then my panties too a second after that.

His fingers were opening me…exploring gently and moving the soft tissues within…his fingers were hot and gentle but about to grow stronger I could tell. I felt his tongue wetly moving over my thirsty little clit and he let out a very satisfied moan as he tasted me. I arched up, wanting to scream from the sensation of it….but I stayed quiet and clenched his ass cheeks even harder, rubbing and kneading.

His tongue knew every inch of me it seemed, knew every little nerve and cranny that begged for his attention. He knew just where to make it wetter and where to tread delicately, where to nibble and where to bite harder. His tongue was like a thick heated snake that sunk itself deep into my lips and moved in and out….with force and desire.

I opened my mouth to scream but then his cock stuck itself into it hard, I roared as it rubbed against my tongue and slid against the insides of my cheeks. I tried to open wider to allow him more room but he was stuffed into me. I sucked, making my throat bring more saliva to drench his shaft as it fucked my mouth.

His legs moved and pinned my arms down at my sides. I was surprised it didn't hurt that much as he moved harder in and out of my lips, both below and above. His mouth sucked and made juicy noises as his lips closed over and over again around my labia, sucking and drinking. His fingers probed inside me and twisted, torturing me slowly with each second.

His hands pushed my opened legs aside, letting each hang off the sides of my twin bed. Then his hands went under my ass and propped my pussy up so he could keep eating. He began to take small bites…holding my tender flesh in his teeth just enough to drive me wild as I gagged…trying to accommodate his hungry shaft that kept banging into me for more.

It seemed like hours went by….and I didn't complain or run out of air once. He was ramming his cock into my throat now, his voice hard and thick as he growled, his mouth everywhere all over me, his fingers all inside me…I lost track of where I was…WHO I was…I didn't give a fuck…all I knew was this…all I wanted was this…I wanted to swallow his come and drown in it…his hands held my thighs down tight now as I roared, not caring who could hear me…and then he plunged his teeth down into me with an animal's bite.

"AAAAA", I screamed, biting down against my will.

I felt blood on my tongue and heard Bohemian's Rhapsody by Queen ! What the fuck ? I opened my eyes and saw the sun was beginning to rise outside, the sky a nice shade of pink and lavender.

My phone was playing it…oh…my alarm. I looked around me and saw that I was in bed alone…my shorts and gym shirt still on from last night, my urine smelling body making me gag as I inhaled. I felt pissed and cheated. A fucking dream. I hate you Morpheus ! I curse the dream God many times but never more than I wanted to right now. Damn that was good ! Why is everything good a fucking dream ?

I groped around, looking for my phone to shut Freddie up because it was also his fault I was gone from underneath Mr. Cullen's hot little ass. I looked at the picture that flashed alive on my screen, my wallpaper, a gray sky with a white moon in the distance, a black stone staircase winding up and to the left…a set of black tree branches above it…four ravens happily flapping their wings as a young girl with straight ebony hair, wearing a long black lace dress began to make her ascent to where it was going.

I wish I could be her. Something dark and delicious surely waits for her there. I didn't want to get up yet, still super pissed that I was fool enough to fantasize that Mr. Cullen would crawl in here and have his way with me. He hates me. Why am I always drawn to what hurts me ?

I thought over last night in the gym. Everything he told me to do I just obeyed. He told me to take my shorts off and I just DID it. No question, no argument. I allowed him to make me piss all over myself. Damn sodas. I had five cans yesterday. I just needed some sugar to cheer me up as I went through my nightmarish day. Why did I just go along and not resist ? It's like his eyes can make me do anything.

I tried to examine the reason why but I already knew. He terrifies me. He enflames me. Just his glance owns me. I should have said a lot of things like, "You can't order me to take my clothes off ! You're a teacher ! You can't DO that!" I smirked wondering what he would've done or said…or how his eyes would look at me then. And again, I felt that dark heat inside me…forbidden but very much alive.

I muttered, fuck it, and ignored my stench, my clit needing some relief. It was nice and wet there already but my fingers played there…not as great as Mr. Cullen's dream fingers…I couldn't even play with myself right, I scolded myself.

And I couldn't make myself climax…not after that performance by my dream teacher. Even in my fantasies my mind tells me I'm not good enough for him to want me, that he would never really touch me…that I wasn't beautiful enough or athletic enough, smart enough, talented enough. I wish my mind would fuck off and just let me dream.

"Shit.", I huffed, standing up and grabbing my phone. I looked on google and found a nice little video of a man giving a woman oral. Watching that for a few minutes, now I was super pissed.

How many years would I have to wait for a guy to make me come like I did in my dreams ? Would it ever happen ? Not in an all girls school it's not, I told myself.

I guess that's it. I'm sexually frustrated and the Mr. Cullen thing just triggered me. What would Dr. Carlisle think , I wondered with a grin as I took all my clothes off and grabbed one of my father's old robes that I stole when I packed. I love men's robes, a nice white and black plaid…women's robes were too cutesy and girly for me. I went downstairs and found no one else was in the bathrooms yet. Good. I got up early on purpose just so I could avoid everyone down here.

I snuck in the shower and tried to remove the showerhead but it didn't come off. Dammit. Cheap ass school. I could've had a nice orgasm with the hot showerhead in my crotch. I let the hot water run over me and let my hair get wet. All I could think about was that damn dream.

Eventually I tried to get my mind off that and think about today. We didn't have any homework yet since it was day four so that was good. I flinched and thought 'was I supposed to do something for Mr. Cullen?' I thought hard and decided no…after he finished reading that book he told me to go home and didn't say anything more. I was pretty sure.

At that thought I realized I wasn't that sore today. My knees a bit but not much. I checked them and they looked fine. My back was good…my arms alright…what the hell ? Last night I was sure I'd be a cripple for the rest of my life. It seemed my only problem was my pissy smell but that was going away now. I got the shampoo in my hand and lathered quickly, then I soaped myself everywhere. Last night's humiliation was beyond….how could I go into gym class today ? What would he say to me ? What would I say to him ? What would we do in detention this time ?

I would never be good at volleyball or any other sport. Maybe they would kick me out of school. Maybe I could do something fucked up to get sent home. But this is a place for troubled girls…what would be bad enough to get expelled ?

I went to my room to get dressed, seeing a couple girls who seemed to just eye me suspiciously without greeting me.

Turning on my phone, I put on my ID GO app, watching The Case of Jon Benet Ramsey…I love this one.

Poor little girl, I thought, dying at six years old. I wish I could appreciate my life more…see the beauty in it, the goodness. But ever since I could remember, everything I craved was wrong. Everything I love is black…tainted…twisted.

I love porn…I love rainy days…I love stories about death and evil…I loved having black hair until the dye grew out and my father denied me any more allowance to get more…I love stealing…I love drinking and doing drugs…losing myself…becoming something more…stronger…more fun and more badass than I ever could be on my own. I love writing about sick things…rape, violence…torture…murder…I love cutting myself. I so wanted to do it right now. I knew it would make me feel better about last night and the Mr. Cullen dream. Even my fantasies don't want me.

I knew they'd check me every day for cuts and shit like that. Charlie told them all my fucking secrets like the backstabbing bitch he is. He left me nothing to myself. I was told that if I kept cutting myself they'd put me in isolation to be watched like a psycho. Maybe I would end up there anyway, couldn't rule it out…but for right now I wanted to stay here…I hated to admit it but as much as I was afraid of him, as much as I hated him…my sick side likes him…is drawn to him. I know it will never happen, he's a fucking teacher…but I felt chained to him in some way…like I want to go but my body or soul won't allow it. My heart always wants what's bad for me. It rejects what's good. I can't help it…it's just the way I am.

I know someday I will end up like my mother. I've accepted that. But for now I was here. I had given myself until the age of 18 to see if anything changed in my life that would be worth staying for. Next September would be that. So we'll see. I put it in the hands of the Fates….take me to my life before then…or cut my strings. Free me of this empty, black and white place.

I never prayed to GOD….whatever that was. I didn't believe in him…or her. I preferred to believe in gods that touched my life and my world…like Morpheus, the dream god, the Fates, Apollo – the sun god…Hades god of death…they probably don't exist either but they were more fun. Eros…god of sexual desire…where was HE ? Hectate…the goddess of magic, crossroads, moon, ghosts, witchcraft and the undead. I liked her a lot. Since my Mom died, I found I spoke to her a lot. It may be a fantasy but it made me feel better.

"Come on Hectate.", I groaned as I got my stuff together for the day, "Stay with me. Don't bail on me now."

And for a half second that girl's face was in my head again. She was taunting me…ridiculing me…fuck but she was ugly and loud…her eyes so evil…so full of hate.

Self talk…Dr. Carlisle said…I tried to shut it off like he'd said….the things we tell ourselves everyday when we wake up. But it was still there.

I'm bad. I'm fucked up. I'm dangerous. I'm broken. I'm a disappointment. I'm a bad daughter. I'm dark. I'm mean. I'm…weak. I'm nothing. And I have a chicken ass. That cut was brand new and it stung so much more than the other older ones.

Those were my daggers to live with, stuck deep inside of me.

She deserved it. I told myself that, trying what the doctor said. She asked for it. She begged for it. And I gave it to her. She will mock me…no more…never again. She will never say another word about my mother…ever again. No one will.

I'm strong. I'm different. I'm dark but that's not bad. There is night and there is day. Sun and Moon. I'm who I'm supposed to be.

Hmm…that is better than my usual thoughts, I decided and I turned off my phone, sticking it in my backpack and heading out, the sky turning gray and flat as I stepped outside.

It would rain today…I could smell it coming. I smiled, having at least that much to count on.

Jasper texted me as I quickly grabbed a chocolate pop tart from the cafeteria.

Where are you girl ? I've texted like 100 times ! Did they lock you up with the other bad girls ? LOL

I smiled and texted back real fast:

Yes I'm in a cage in my leather bikini ! Send help NOW ! LOL

Right away he replied :

Ooh. Pictures please ?

Fuck off. LOL - : I wrote back

Jasper…if not for him I might be gone already. He was the one who got me my first beer, showed me how to do coke. He wanted me to be what I wanted to be. He made me feel less of a loser. We weren't super heavy drug addicts…just did it sometimes to have fun and escape ourselves. It wasn't drugs that I really loved it was the way I felt when I did them. I felt so alive. I felt like I loved being alive.

We were friends, best friends now. There was a time in the beginning when we tried to fool around and see what that was like. But it felt weird to both of us. We laughed and decided to be friends. I liked that better. Friends lasted longer than lovers. At least that's what I observed. There was never any boy who made me feel that thing.

That thing I felt last night in that dream.

Most of the day went by in a blur. All I could think of was my dreaded gym class. I knew I would die the second he looked at me. But at the same time I couldn't wait until his eyes were upon me again.

Before I knew it, I was in the locker room putting on a new set of my gym clothes (Thank Hectate I had bought two sets that first day just in case. Thirty bucks…outrageous.)

I saw Alice and apologized to her for taking off on her last night.

"That's alright", she laughed, "I get it. Did you find him ? Was he mad ?"

"Ummm yea.", I nodded, my face feeling hot suddenly, "And…yea he was mad."

I told myself the less I tell anyone, the better. Don't trust any of these girls. If he finds out I told anyone….

Before I knew it, I heard his voice out there in the gym, shouting, "DO WE NEED TO SEND YOU TWO SPECIAL INVITATIONS MISS SWAN AND MISS HALE ?!"

We ran immediately and everyone was out there, sitting on the floor, Mr. Cullen staring at us with his usual death glare, a volleyball under one arm.

"I didn't hear the bell ring !", I hissed under my breath until I saw him looking at us.

We went to take a seat in our spot on the floor but he was not having that.

"Get your asses off the floor…you two…Hale and Swan.", he blew the whistle in a short blast, making Alice yelp.

"Stand up in front of the class.", he said with a cool tone.

"Shit.", I breathed to myself as we went and stood there beside him.

"Mr. Cullen…", Alice began to explain but he cut her right off.

"Did I ask you a question, Miss Hale ?", he shot her a look.

She shook her head.

"In my class you stay silent until I tell you to answer.", he stated, then looked at the rest of the class.

"Ladies…", Mr. Cullen began, "The rule has always been and always will be – if you are on time, you are LATE. If you are early, you are on time. "

"The locker room is not a dance club, a talk show stage, a coffee house, or a hair salon.", he said, sounding bored, "It is a place to change your clothes ONLY. Most of you are aware of that and let me be the first to applaud you. But what you're looking at here is the perfect example of what you DO NOT want to be in life. Late, deaf, slow, unapologetic and incompetent. Let's just be thankful that neither of these two will ever become doctors, nurses, fire fighters, or police officers."

Or gym teachers, I thought to myself, wishing I had the guts to say it out loud.

The other girls laughed a little at this and he let them.

"Miss Nickles will not be joining us for the remainder of the year due to an unfortunate accident.", he informed, "So never say that prayers aren't answered."

"Everyone up.", he blew the whistle as everyone rose to their feet, "Straddle hops – twenty."

I had no idea what that was. I watched as the other girls started placing their legs apart and putting hands on hips hopped and moved their legs apart then back together again. I copied that as he took us through push ups next, jumping jacks, jogging in place, and a couple other warmup exercises.

He gave his whistle a blast and told the girls to sit on the floor at the sides of the volleyball court.

"Hale, sit.", he jerked his head at her and she took off, sitting on the floor with the rest of them.

"Swan.", he curled a finger and beckoned me over to him. Of course.

"I ask you ladies to forgive me for this because you've all worked very hard to become good players. But now and for awhile longer we will relive our third grade gym experience until Miss Swan catches up."

Can I just die now ?

There was a little laughter but not much. I knew I was a nice shade of red by now.

He gave a tug on the back of my gym shirt and led me backward to the back row on the right.

"This, Miss Swan, is position number one. The Setter position.", he informed with a monotone voice, "The setter is the player who sets the tone for the attacking side of net. They are often compared with a basketball point guard or the American football quarterback – the one who 'runs the show'. You will never be placed here in this position again. And I laugh at my naivete at putting you here three days ago."

More laughing.

He put a finger on my back and firmly moved me forward, to the front row in front of the net.

"Position two.", he introduced as I stood there, "Right side hitter. A right-side hitter must be adept at both attacking and defense, as they are responsible for serve receive and the right back position when not on the front-row."

"Getting all this, Miss Swan?" he looked like he was enjoying my discomfort.

I hesitated and started to respond when he took my arm and brought me to the middle spot in the front row.

"Position three.", he stated, "Middle blocker. It's in the middle…and your job is to block the ball from getting over here."

The girls laughed again.

He moved me to the left, front row now on the left hand side.

"Four.", he informed, "Opposite. Here you help the middle blocker to block the ball. There's a lot more but your eyes are glazing over so we'll worry about that later."

Laughing again. They were all having a great time watching me squirm, except for Alice, who looked sorry for me again.

He snapped his fingers and pointed to the spot behind me in the back row now.

I went there and he said, "Position five. Outside hitter. Here you're responsible for any back row attacks."

He poked my back again, moving me to the middle back row.

"Position six.", he revealed, "Libero or Middle Blocker. Liberos are known as agile, smart defenders with excellent passing skills. These players are called upon to provide superb passes to the setter, allowing for an effective attack. You will never see this position either, Miss Swan so I hope you had a nice visit."

I hoped he was done now with me but not a chance.

"Now…come here Miss Swan.", he motioned for me to stand next to him in the middle of the court.

"I notice when you stand out here, your arms are at your sides, you just stand there like you're waiting for a bus.", he looked me over, "Like you are right now. How you should stand is this way"

"Open your legs a little…stand firmly on the floor…", he kicked my feet apart as I did what he said, "Then squat a little bit…" He was behind me, and he pushed my back down so I'd do it, "And hands resting on your knees like this."

I did it and he looked at the other girls.

"This is the way I want you standing out here.", he instructed, "This is a relaxed position that makes you ready to move easily and get under that ball."

"And now ", he came back to me, "Put your hands up a bit Miss Swan."

I did that and he took one of my hands, "Open your hands up. Bigger the better. This will help you to actually hit the ball when it comes to you."

I opened both hands up like they were claws and wished the earth would just swallow me whole.

"Put your weight on your toes a little…" he said to me, wiggle your heels a little…I hoped I was doing this right.

"So the most important part of passing…", he said to the class, "Is getting to the ball with our feet first."

"So", he said to the girls, "Miss Swan will be my shuffler…and I will be the roller…"

What the fuck is he talking about ?

"Miss Swan.", he snapped his finger in my face, "Focus. You're about to be active. I'm going to roll the ball to you on the floor and I want you to shuffle, back or forth wherever you need to to have the ball roll between your feet. Got it ?"

"No.", I was confused.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and called, "Miss Hale, come."

Alice got up and scurried over.

"Be my visual aid, will you ?", he asked her, not waiting for an answer.

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", she said, facing him, moving back a bit.

He rolled the ball and she got into the half squatted position and just lightly on her toes moved sideways so the ball rolled right between her feet.

"Oh okay.", I said aloud, nodding.

Another girl on the sideline caught the ball and tossed it perfectly back to Mr. Cullen as he said, "Thank you, Miss Peters."

"Alright, Miss Swan ?" he raised a brow to me, "Get in position. Miss Hale, flit away."

He waved his hand like she was a mosquito that was pestering him.

Yea go away Alice. All the humiliation is just for me.

"Hands up like I just showed you…", he reminded me calmly as he readied the ball in his hands.

I did that with my hands and waited…he rolled it a bit to my left…I shuffled over sideways, my feet bouncing as I moved like Alice had done it. And the ball did roll between my legs ! Yay !

"There we go.", Mr. Cullen didn't sound very impressed. The ball was thrown back to him and he rolled it again, more over to the right now…I had to shuffle a little bit quicker to get to this one…but I got that one also.

A few more times we did this and I did feel good that I had managed to do this much at least without screwing it up.

"This is how you move around the court while the ball is in play.", he said to the other girls and I guess me too.

"Now…", he turned towards me again and motioned his fingers to me, "Arms out Miss Swan."

I put my arms up, putting them together like I had the second day of gym, my thumbs together like he showed me then.

"That's it.", he took my hands and instructed, "Together, thumbs together…now when the ball comes to you, you don't want to do a big swinging up motion…just a little bump up with the arms just to make that ball pop upwards. More like pushing the ball up instead of swinging it…"

He moved my arms as he taught this and again I felt how chilly his fingers were. Maybe he has a blood flow problem.

"Miss Swan.", he looked at me and backed up, holding the ball, "Face me. I'm going to toss it to you and you're going to push the ball up with your arms. Shuffle to get under the ball like we just did. Yes ?"

I felt sick.

"Yes.", I took a breath.

"Alright.", he looked at me and tossed the ball up lightly. It was a little to my left so I scooted over and tried to get my arms under it. I missed it.

"Get the ball Miss Swan.", he looked disappointed but not surprised.

I went after it and tossed it back to him. He caught it and said, "Again. Get into position. Wrists together….get ready to shuffle."

I missed about four more of these. Each time he seemed to get more irritated.

By the fifth miss in a row, he sighed and grumbled, "Do you need glasses, Miss Swan ?"

"No.", I said weakly.

"I'm five feet away !", he complained, "What are you going to do when the ball come from across the net ?"

Duck. Miss. Fall. The possibilities are endless.

He stopped talking and suddenly went to throw the ball at my face…I flinched but he didn't let go of it. He did it again and I reacted the same way. But he never threw the ball.

"Ahhh", he let a smile begin on his lips that curled up wider, "You're afraid of the ball."

Well I'm really afraid of YOU but…yea…the ball is a good place to start.

I didn't say anything as the other girls giggled at me.

"Alright Miss Swan.", he grinned, as if he was trying not to laugh, "Stay."

He turned and moved agilely out of the gym and into the locker rooms. I stood there dumbly, not making eye contact with any of the girls…hating how long it was taking him to do whatever the fuck he was gonna do to me now.

"She's shaking.", I heard one of them whisper as they chuckled with each other.

"What a wimp.", another female voice commented.

"At least we don't have to play today, thank God.", a third girl chimed in, "I've got cramps."

"EWWW" the fourth voice gave a shrill yelp as they laughed again.

Oh God I hear him coming.

I didn't realize it but my arms were crossed defensively when he came back into view.

He had a shriveled up blue thing in his hand, stretching it with the other as he approached me.

"Blow that up, Miss Swan.", he gave it to me between his two fingertips.

It's a balloon. I didn't get it but I started to try and blow into it. I was never good at this.

Mr. Cullen was in front of me, telling the other girls, "Miss Swan is afraid of the ball so this exercise will remove that fear. But at the same time, her muscle memory will remember the movements she will perform and later hopefully the actual ball itself may not be so frightening. We can only hope."

He turned to me and I was still trying to get my air into the balloon that would not cooperate. Nothing was happening except my head felt like it would pop.

"Oh damnation…", he muttered and snatched it out of my hands, saying to me, "Miss Swan you're turning purple…can you do ANYTHING correctly?"

He blew up the balloon himself, it began to expand right away. The other girls were watching this with their mouths open…I was too. He looked so cute in that moment that I almost smiled at him. It was almost like he was younger, like a teenager, helping set up a birthday party or something.

"What are you looking at ?", he almost grinned again at the girls, "I know…it's infantile…but…this the corner of Hell we're playing in today…"

He tied the end of the now very big and round blue balloon and tapped it up into the air a couple times…

I felt like a fucking loser as he turned towards me.

"Are you afraid Miss Swan ?", he bumped it towards me and I caught it in my hands.

"No, Mr. Cullen.", I said, not wanting to have an attitude since I have detention with him again later.

"Good.", he took a couple steps back, facing me, pointing to a blue line in the floor between us, "This is the net…serve it to me."

"Underhanded ?", I asked before my brain thought about it.

His eyes suddenly went from amused to hard.

"Are you really asking me that ?", he asked with a very low and deadly voice.

I frowned, confused.

"Does a certain book come to mind that you just read recently ?", he asked, the other girls enjoying my predicament.

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I tried to think of what the book said about serving. But almost everything he read to me the night before was gone as if someone had erased it out of my mind.

"Serve it to me.", he inhaled and did the position he'd showed us before, he looked crouched like a panther about to strike, claws ready.

I took a chance and pushed the balloon into the air above me and gave a little jump up, hitting it with all my might. It DID go floating up and over the line to Mr. Cullen's side !

"Good.", he commented firmly, not giving a smile or anything as it slowly came to him.

He said to the class as he shuffled to get under it, using both his arms together, "The first pass…"

He popped it straight up in front of him with no effort.

"The second…", he turned around and set it up with his palms open this time, making it go straight up again, "And the third….he lightly moved it up and out towards me over the blue line.

"Three hits…", he nodded towards me, turning to face me again, "Miss Swan…do it."

I put my arms together and scooted under where the slow balloon was going…I had lots of time…and I BOOP made my arms go up with a little jerk, hitting the balloon upwards….it soared up lazily…

"Get under it, get under it…", he coached without yelling and I got under it, my palms out now…

"Yes", he approved as he watched me, "Push it up lightly…"

I DID push it up high without much energy. I smiled and let a breath out.

"One more Miss Swan…", he commented, "I'm on the edge of my seat."

The girls laughed but I ignored it and him and I just smacked it, my anger coming out…before I knew what I was doing…I realized I spiked it down right inside his side of the blue line. It hit the floor even though he dived down to get it ! He missed !

The girls gave out shocked little noises as Mr. Cullen landed on the floor on his chest, his arms out.

I never felt more afraid in all my life. For a moment I thought he did it on purpose just so I'd be in more trouble.

"Mr. Cullen !", I heard myself exclaim as I went over to him, my instinct not checking this with my brains.

He was up quickly before I got there and I froze in my tracks as he let out an amused chuckle.

"Not bad Miss Swan.", he shot me a little glance as he grinned to himself, raising a hand to me. I flinched away and he frowned at me again, confused.

"Miss Swan…", he pointed out, "This is not me slapping you, although I might later…this is something you don't probably know about. A high five…a symbol of congratulations when you've done something right on the court."

"Oh.", I felt myself burning in my cheeks, "Sorry."

I raised my hand up and hardly made contact at all as he tried to give me a high five. This is perhaps the highest place I've reached in my whole gym class life. I wondered if this was some kind of trick he was playing on me.

"See, your fear of the ball is gone and look at what you did.", he was sounding very proud of me all of a sudden, "Knocked the old gym teacher on his ass."

The book was right. Spiking IS fun. And it got him on the floor in front of me. Damn my body is hot now. My dream of him digging his fingers into my thighs, opening them came pouring over me.

The other girls were talking and laughing at us or with us, who knew…

The rest of the period was the same….him and I playing balloon volleyball. After a little while, I almost forgot the other girls and found myself relaxing….he wasn't glaring at me the whole time and that made me feel so much better. If only this was the way volleyball REALLY is. I'd be a champion. And for a few minutes, it was fun…he even laughed a couple times as he tried to get it and while waiting for it to descend. He looked like a teenager to me again…if only for a moment. He didn't keep a score but I didn't really get any more points after that or him hitting the floor…but I was able to volley back and forth with him. I liked that. For the first time I didn't feel like a complete loser in gym class.

"Alright.", he eyed the clock and blew his whistle twice, "Class dismissed…I hope you enjoyed the rest today ladies, tomorrow will be different."

Why ? I dreaded tomorrow as he said it that way. I walked away behind the other girls and he called me.

"Miss Swan, a moment please…", his voice was stern again but not angry. I was beginning to see the shades of his tones.

"Yes Mr. Cullen ?" I came up to him, my eyes down, peeking up at him.

The other girls were gone and he cleared his throat, holding the balloon under one arm.

"It's not just the ball you're afraid of, is it ?" , he asked me, getting right to the point. His face looked as if he was holding in a laugh again. But damn….he was fine when he smiled that way.

"Ummm…", I began as he raised a brow at me, knowing.

"No…", I said, "I mean yea."

Great. I was the picture of grammar.

His lush black eyebrows furrowed as he tried to read me.

"I mean…I've always been nervous about the ball…", I admitted, "Dodgeball…I got hit in the face a lot in my old school."

"Ah.", he gave a nod, still smiling like that, as if he could see it happening, "I thought for a second that…you were afraid of ME."

He hit the nail right on the head. I DID suck at sports…but yea, he made it worse. How could he not know that after last night ?!

"Uhhh no !", I instantly denied it as he eyed me suspiciously. Christ it's like he can read my mind.

"No…it's just…sports…", I began.

"Do you want to transfer out of my class ?", he probed further, tilting his head a bit to the right, like he was toying with me now.

"What ?", I asked.

"Do. You. Want. To. Transfer. Out. of my class ?", he said it slowly and distinctly.

"Do you want me to ?", I heard my hurt little voice croak the words out.

He looked at me and then I answered, "No. I don't want to…but I get it if I'm messing up your class…I know I suck…"

"You do NOT suck.", he stated without warmth, "You are just uneducated, and untrained. That's alright. I don't know how many gym teachers dropped the ball with you in the past but you're with ME now. I don't drop the ball. If you stay, you will learn everything I teach. In time, you will not suck. But you have to decide that for yourself. Do you want to stay with me ?"

I felt queasy all of a sudden. I remembered his fingers…his mouth on me…his teeth…from my dream last night…

"Yes !", my voice answered a bit loudly, making his eyes close for a second as if it were too loud a reply.

"Sorry Mr. Cullen.", I said quieter.

He opened his eyes and I almost had a mini heart attack. He's so beautiful but deadly….like a tiger…a white tiger…I could admire him and fear him at the same time,

couldn't I ?

"If you stay,", he informed, "Then you stay. This is a one time offer. So you better be sure. Today, when you say yes, you are here every day, on time…which means earlier than the bell rings. You will do what I say and do it to the best of your ability…no wait…scratch that…you will do it as well as I want you to. And do it until it's even better than I wanted. Any back talk or attitude will not be tolerated. And that doesn't mean you're out of my class, it means more detention. And we don't like detention, do we, Miss Swan ?"

"No Mr. Cullen.", I shook my head, turning I was sure, dark purple now in my embarrassment, recalling my piss all over me yesterday.

"No.", he agreed, "Because no eyes are on me during detention. I could make you do anything during detention. Isn't that right ?"

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I nodded, hating this, wishing the bell would ring already. Not that THAT would save me.

He gave a small grin and asked, "So…decision time…do you want to stay with me ?"

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I nodded without thinking about it. As much as he hated me or I hated him I did want to stay. Again, my dark heart wanted what was bad for it.

"I'm surprised.", he raised a brow, "Why ?"

Oh God I had to say it now ?

"Because…", I began, calling on my writer's brain to compose some great words, "You're right. No one ever taught me sports before. Not my father…not…my last teacher…he said I sucked and he just stopped teaching me. He had me sit on the bleachers all the time. He didn't care. I get why you're tough. A lot of girls…don't like to work out or do sports…but it's your job to teach us…and you do. The other girls…are SO great. So…believe it or not, I DO see what you're trying to do…I may not love the way you do it but…I get it. I know I'm hard to teach this stuff to. But I'm really trying to make it not so hard for you. I'm sorry I'm holding up your class."

Oh my God…I said make it not so hard for you…I'm so dumb. Now I was seeing his white dream penis from my fantasy.

"Alright enough.", he held up a hand, "Thank you for the riveting story of your athletic life but…I get the jist."

I think he was teasing but being nice ? I couldn't tell.

"Alright, you're here now.", he agreed, crossing his arms, looking down his nose at me, "I'm going to keep being hard on you. You know that."

Stop seeing his penis, stop seeing his penis…I warned myself. Did I just look at it ? Oh my GOD !

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I agreed, as if he'd be anything but hard on me.

"Don't worry.", he watched me, "I can grind a piece of coal into a diamond. You WILL learn."

I nodded, saying, "Thank you."

I don't know why but I felt tears in my eyes again. Dammit !

"You're welcome.", he answered and I felt like I just sold my soul to the devil. All that was missing was a thunder clap in the distance.

"Alright, Swan, I see you're about to have an aneurysm, go to your next class.", he released me.

I began to hurry away, not running though…and he whistled with his own mouth, halting me.

I turned and he smirked, "Now what time are we meeting today ?"

"3:30.", I answered and his beautiful brow went up again, "Three o clock ?"

"Better.", he let his arms uncross, "Perhaps you CAN be taught after all."

I almost smiled at him. I hope so, dark and lovely…for YOUR sake…

"Oh and Miss Swan ?" he was playing with the end of the balloon now, making it spin a bit back and forth in his fingers.

"Yes Mr. Cullen ?", I asked.

"It's been a long time since I've been on my face in front of a student.", he gave a smile of approval with a small nod of his head, "Well done."

It was nice to see that he wasn't the type who got mad the one time he lost the point. I'm sure it would never happen again but I was glad at least he played fair and conceded when he failed. I liked that now at least there was another good thing I could say about him.

Maybe he really does have a pleasant side…maybe it's only for people who aren't dorks like me.

"Th—thank you…", I squeaked it out, feeling emotional now, holding it in until I could escape in the locker room.

"Alright, shake a tail feather, you're late Miss Swan.", he waved his fingers at me, shooing me as he had to Alice earlier.

"Yes Mr. Cullen !", I took off, almost tripping over my own feet as I went.

I heard him mutter something as he watched me run but I kept going.

As I entered the locker room, I could've sworn I heard the balloon pop…unless Mr. Cullen just shot me. I listened but didn't hear anything else. I shrugged it off and changed as fast as I could.

End of Chapter 5