Chapter 6 - Sweet Fire
Bella's POV:
Now that gym was behind me the rest of the day was very pleasant. We would be reading Romeo and Juliet in English class. I had read it before so I was feeling good about that. Spanish…just starting to learn new verbiage…estar – to be. Tener – to have. Hacer – to do. History was fun and I always did love history but our teacher was funny and taught while making us laugh. We were talking about slavery and how it still affects today. I hated racism and always did. I thought it was stupid, hating someone because of that their skin color is…there's so many other reasons to hate people.
Before I knew it the day was almost over…just group therapy to do before detention. Maybe it's a good thing that I have therapy with a doctor before detention. I wondered what Mr. Cullen would have me doing today…I hoped it wouldn't be the wall again the whole time. I shuddered, remembering it. My body now was beginning to feel a bit sore from it, but not much.
I was recalling more about last night with him…he DID…touch me. My hair…his fingers were so gentle…wait…did that really happen or was I hallucinating ? I probably was just dreaming that…he wouldn't and couldn't touch me like that. He's a teacher he'd get fired, wouldn't he ? I would never tell on him….I'm not like that…I'm more the suffer in silence type. I handle my own shit, I don't narc on people. And maybe here in a school like this it's allowed, corporal punishment or whatever they call it…I don't know what the rules are here. And I'm alone. I don't have one friend that I really trust. Alice but I just met her. It would be awhile before I would completely trust her or anyone. That's just how I am…you have to show me that you're for real…and then I take my walls down…slowly. If I'm hurt then I put the walls back up and you'll never get back in.
I tried to remember more of last night after he told me to lay on the floor.
It was really fuzzy and getting fuzzier as I tried to recall it.
He told me to clean my mess…I did that. Then…did I …
The bell rang, snapping me out of my fog as I sat there, in group, watching Dr. Carlisle come in, smiling warmly and taking his seat in the circle beside me this time. I was surprised but not afraid. I moved a bit, away from him, not sure why.
"Good afternoon everyone.", he gave a nod as he began, "Yesterday, we were discussing guilt. Kate began by sharing some of her guilt about the car accident…thanks for trusting us, Kate. Why don't we hear from someone else ? Anyone care to begin ?"
No one said anything, we all just looked at each other.
"Miss Swan.", his hand was on my back now, in a friendly way, "Why don't you begin today ?"
Oh God. Was he going to tell everyone ? Please no.
I felt sick as I looked at his perfectly jovial face, so caring and patient. I should have let him in and let him reach me…but as my black heart is stupid, I felt myself pull away mentally. Again…anything that's good for me….I shrink from it.
"Uh…no that's okay.", I shook my head a little, trying to smile, "I'm good."
"Oh come on Isabella…", he kept smiling at me, "You're among friends here."
Friends ? I don't know any of you people. My one friend was named Jasper Whitlock and he's a million miles away from here.
I took a deep breath and said, "I don't have any friends here."
"Oh Isabella…you're wrong.", he quietly assured me, "We're all just friends who don't know much about each other yet. Give us a chance."
Corny.
"I don't give chances to strangers.", I heard myself share flatly, my arms crossed.
"Why not ?", he probed gently.
"People hurt you.", I shared, "They always do."
"Now Isabella…", he began, "We've all been hurt…"
"My name is Bella.", I heard a strong voice come out of me, cutting him off, "Not Isabella, that's how well you know me."
Where was this voice coming from, I asked myself, but I liked it.
"Alright…Bella.", he recovered without anger or blame, "I'm sorry about that. My mistake. Can you share with us something that makes you feel guilt ?"
"No.", I frowned, "Ask someone else."
"Why are you being like that ?", the red haired girl asked me, "He's just trying to help you…"
"Kate…", Dr. Carlisle put a hand up, nicely telling her to stay out of it, "It's alright. Bella has a lot of anger…that's human…and it's alright."
I hated that he was talking about me like I wasn't even here.
"I don't have any anger.", I snapped back.
"Of course you do.", he put his hand on my back again and I stiffened, "We all do. But talking about it is the only way to conquer it, Bella…and get control over it. You want to be free of it, don't you ?"
"You can't be free of it.", I stated, really believing it.
"Sure you can.", he took his hand off me now, "It's a choice. You alone can make it. I hope soon you can open up some more and share with us."
I didn't say anything else the rest of the class.
He went around the rest of the room and made everyone else tell them about their guilt. They just spread open their asses and told everything to him. I can't believe everyone here is so weak. Aren't there any kids who are as fucked up as I am ? Where are they hiding ? I told myself that before the year was up I'd find them. I can't be the only one here.
The bell finally rang and I quickly got up to leave. I had to hurry up and meet Satan in gym class and wanted to be early as possible.
"Miss Swan ?", Dr. Carlisle called me, "Can I have a word with you please ?"
Shit ! Everyone wants to talk to me today ! I don't have time for this. I felt like Diablo was waiting for me and I was hanging out with an angel instead. There would be Hell to pay.
"Yes ..Mr. - Dr. Carlisle ?", I asked, almost calling him Mr. Cullen.
"I was really disappointed that you couldn't speak to me today.", he smiled as his perfect green eyes twinkled at me.
"Sorry.", I choked the word out. This was like talking to my father. And there's that word again – disappointed.
"Well if you don't want to share in group, maybe we can talk in private.", he suggested.
I looked at my phone. 3:02pm. FUCK !
"Dr. Carlisle, I have to go", I took a step back, "I have detention."
"Detention already ?", he asked, concerned now, "With whom ?"
With whom . Jesus.
"Mr. Cullen.", I answered, "I'm gonna be late so…"
"Ah, Mr. Cullen.", he grinned, "I see."
"What ?" I frowned at him now.
"Nothing, I see why you're so afraid of being late, that's all.", he scratched the back of his head for a moment, "What did you do ?"
"Can we do this another time ?", I asked, walking away, "I'm so late now."
"Miss Swan.", he stopped me again and put an arm around me, like we were best friends. He walked me to the classroom door slowly, like he wanted me to be late.
"Tomorrow I would like to speak with you alone.", he decided, "In the morning. 9 AM. My office is across the hall there. I think maybe that might be best for now and then maybe later you can rejoin the group."
Fine. Whatever. But then something inside me got mad.
"So, one time I don't want to talk in group and now I'm out of it ?", I asked him, "So like, I'm being forced to talk if I don't want to ?"
"Miss Swan, ", he began to explain, "It's not that. My job is to figure out the best way to help you. I just thought that—"
"I'll talk when I want to talk.", I shot back, liking this side of myself, "And your job is to wait until I'm ready and help me then. I don't like therapy, I don't like your hand on my back, and I don't like YOU!"
I ran away from him before he could say another word to me.
I didn't even have time to cry now…I was so late and I still had to change into gym clothes. I prayed he wasn't there waiting for me.
I almost screamed as I got stuck in my polo shirt, trying to get it off. Finally I was dressed and ran out to the gym. It was all lit up. But no one was there yet.
"Thank you Hectate.", I muttered aloud, giving her my praise for this little favor.
I went to the wall, looking around a second first, and put my back to it…putting my hands down on the floor, kicking my legs back. It only took me twice to achieve this and I took a deep breath, trying to concentrate. Be strong. Be strong. I tried to pretend that I liked this…that was gone in five minutes. I wasn't crying or anything…yet. I just waited, listening for sounds…voices….all I could hear was distant things far away…voices…leaving the halls…going to other places…school was over now but there were probably other after school classes going on, other detentions or help after school stuff.
I waited there, closing my eyes and breathing in…breathing out…My arms started to complain a little but I told them to shut up…my legs too. I could do this. I CHOSE to do this. I wanted to be tougher, like I just was with Dr. Carlisle…or maybe that was me being a brat. Charlie used to call me that when I dared to stand up to him. God I hate him. I wished I could erase his face from my memory.
Finally, after a long time, I heard noises. A door slowly closing closeby somewhere. I told my body to behave and not fall…stay up. Then it occurred to me…I don't have my volleyball book ! FUCK !
I hoped we didn't have to read it again.
I started praying to Hecate about this when I heard someone whistling, a nice cheery little melody.
I wrapped up my prayer to Her and waited for my fate today.
"Miss Swan.", he sounded very pleased, "Three forty five…very nice."
"Thank you Mr. Cullen.", I said respectfully, straining to stay up. I hadn't fallen once today. I wanted to tell him that but thought twice about it.
"You're welcome.", he said. I love it when he says that. That's a couple times already today he's said it to me.
"Is it easier today than yesterday ?", he wondered as he watched me, his sneakers close to my fingers.
"A little.", I stayed there, answering truthfully.
"Are you sore today ?", he assessed me.
"Yes Mr. Cullen."
"Good.", he answered coldly, "That means it's working."
I didn't answer and he didn't say anything more.
He just watched me for a few more minutes. I peeked up at him and all I could see was his folded very strong muscled arms. Not too muscular…just perfect.
"Very good.", he said to me after the long pause, "You're not falling."
"No Mr. Cullen.", I had to admit I felt proud of myself. I'd probably drop like a stone now, knowing my luck.
"So Miss Swan…", he said to me, "Let's talk about your guilt."
WHAT ?!
"What ?", I asked, horrified.
He gave a small laugh.
"Nothing.", he said, "I was just teasing you a little. Dr. Carlisle…I know you're in that …."
He gave another black laugh…adding, "Group."
"They make us be in that group.", I huffed out as I strained, "Everyone has to do it."
"Oh, I know.", he answered, "I am quite familiar with the routine. Share…relax…trust…open up…"
"Yea.", I groaned a tiny bit, "Or else."
"What does that mean ?", he asked, "Or else ?"
I don't know why but I found myself trusting him enough to talk. He's a teacher, and he's asking me.
"I have to talk to him privately now because I didn't want to open up in group today.", I felt my neck starting to ache, "It's bullsh-"
I was going to say bullshit but then I remembered he's a teacher and he as much told me no cursing yesterday.
"It's bull.", I added.
"I agree it IS bullshit.", he let a breath out in disbelief, "Punishment for not feeling trust in a doctor is not fair. This school should not be a dictatorship. They want to help. They understand…they care….don't believe it, Miss Swan. They want tuition money. You're the object they use to get it. Believe me, the second you walk out these doors they'll forget you ever existed."
"Yea.", I grunted, quieting myself, "Well…surprise, surprise."
"I could've been a counselor here.", he said, "I have the degrees. But I believe in a more hands on approach. Endless talking and reliving the past…ukkk. I believe it letting that go and starting anew. It's your choice who you're going to be. You should be the one to make it, not him."
I like this side of Mr. Cullen.
"Yea.", I agreed completely.
And I fell down.
Without saying anything, I got right back up and kicked my legs out, securing them in place, moving them apart more. I didn't complain. I didn't cry.
"Well look at that.", he almost purred the words. I thought maybe he was looking at something else, some hot woman coming in….but when I peeked, he was looking down at me.
"Eyes to the floor, Miss Swan.", he said almost warmly.
"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I took a cleansing breath. I saw it in movies where women were in labor.
"That's right, breathe.", his voice was very heavy and thick to my ears now.
"So Miss Swan…", he finally spoke again, "Tell me about serving."
Oh no. Why do you hate me, Mr. Cullen ?
"I saw that today that you weren't sure how to serve the ball.", he reminded, "Or balloon in this case. Were you not paying attention ?"
"I was.", I didn't raise my voice, knowing he didn't like that, "I just…don't understand all of that sports talking…"
I heard him almost laugh at me.
"Sports talking ?", he asked, "Yes I know what you mean. It can be quite complicated. It's alright. I can translate."
Oh no he's going to read the book again and explain it in dummy terms to me ? I can't take that.
"Where is your book, Miss Swan ?" he asked me.
"Okay, don't' kill me but…", I let out a jagged breath, "I left it in my room."
He sighed deeply.
"All I ask is two things", he said calmly, "Bring yourself and bring the book. Is that too tough for you, Miss Swan ?"
"No Mr. Cullen.", I answered, sad now that he was angry with me again.
"Don't you bring all your other books to your other classes ?", he asked almost sadly.
"Yes."
"But not to my class.", he pointed out, "You really think I'm just some dumb gym teacher, don't you ?"
"NO!", I almost cried now. He was twisting my soul in his hands now.
"Yes you do.", he answered, still quiet, "You think I'm some guy who watches football and drinks beer on the weekends and pushes little girls around all week just for kicks."
I grunted. "No Mr. Cullen. I'm sorry.", was all I could offer again.
"Then where's the book ?", he asked me.
"I swear I'll bring it every day from now on, I swear !", I begged for another chance.
"I've heard that song before.", he didn't sound convinced.
I fell down again and landed on my face this time. Or at least I thought I did. I realized that a hand was over my face blocking me from the floor.
"Not on the face.", he said as he helped me up, "Don't want to mess up THAT face, do we ?"
What did he say ? Did I hear that right ?
He looked at me and jerked his head to the wall. Oh he wants me to go back.
I did put myself back on the wall and into place.
"Thank you Mr. Cullen.", I finally registered I didn't thank him for saving me from a broken nose.
"Some things I can catch in time.", he lessened his angry tone now, "But not that spike you made today. That was impressive Miss Swan."
I felt like I could fly now.
"Thanks.", I said, hoping he wouldn't mind the casual version.
"I definitely give credit where credit is due.", he informed, "And I will always reward you when you've earned it. Only when you've earned it. That's how I teach."
"It's good.", I heard myself say back.
"And just look at you, yesterday you couldn't stick to the wall…", he pointed out, "And today you look like Spiderman…Spiderwoman."
I wondered if we were going to read that goddamned book again. I decided to ask him.
"Mr. Cullen?", I asked.
"Miss Swan ?"
"Can I ask you a question ?"
"You MAY.", he corrected.
"Are we going to read that book again ?" , I asked politely.
"Oh you didn't like that book, Miss Swan ?", he sounded amused.
"Oh I did.", I lied, "But was just wondering…what we were going to do today."
"You'll see.", he replied, "Actually I quite like watching you on the wall. But you don't like that,
do you ?"
"I do."
"You don't have to lie to me Miss Swan.", he revealed, "Honesty. A very great quality."
"Okay.", I prayed Hectate wasn't jerking me around, "I hate it."
He laughed then and I liked the sound of it….a real laugh. It was deep and a little wicked sounding but also boyish at the same time.
"Well I don't know…", he toyed with me, "What shall I do with you instead, Miss Swan ?"
Oh my God. My dream version of myself was jumping up and down with a few ideas.
"Whatever you want.", I replied, my voice a little playful.
"Stop flirting with me Miss Swan, I'm your teacher.", he said firmly.
I felt so embarrassed I wanted to die right there.
"Sorry.", was all I could think of to say.
"That's not a proper young lady's behavior.", he almost mocked, as if that was the school motto.
"You WANT to be a proper young lady, don't you Miss Swan ?", he asked, and it sounded like he was smiling there over me.
"Not really.", I said, hating myself as soon as I did.
"Excuse me ?", he asked, sounding more tickled by me now.
"Nothing.", I grunted, feeling my body start to complain.
"Alright I have an idea.", he stepped away from me suddenly, "Come down Miss Swan."
I let myself come down without killing myself and I said, "Thank you Mr. Cullen."
"Oh don't thank me yet.", he smirked, "Let's go."
He told me to follow him and I did. He led me outside, the rain was really coming down.
I smiled at seeing it, feeling the wind, the water…this was my version of great weather.
He was looking at me and looked puzzled.
"Jog three miles.", he pointed and snapped his fingers, "Now."
Jogging. Shit.
He jogged behind me, silently as we went down a little concrete pathway that led to the woods. If it wasn't for the fucking running, I'd have loved this. I loved dark forests and dirt roads that lead to a secret place…dark with trees overhead…it was so spooky I loved it with all my heart.
I was already soaking wet in my t shirt and shorts but I loved it. It was cold but not too cold. If we could walk I would've liked it more but this IS detention. I hoped I could go fast enough for his taste.
"God you're slow.", he commented behind me, "Pick up the pace Swan."
I tried to go faster… I was now risking falling down. Again.
"Breathe.", he was beside me now, watching me, not a bit out of breath himself. His hair was wet and dark against his milk skin, and his lips were so pink…so shiny and wet.
I fell over and rolled as I landed.
"Miss Swan.", he growled, standing there, not moving to help me, "Can you at least attempt to watch where you're running ?"
"I'm sorry.", I got up, unhurt, and I began going again.
"It's alright, Miss Swan.", he ran beside me, "There's no failure in falling…it's in not getting back up again."
Things felt good after that for a little while…but then I hit the wall. I was tired and couldn't go anymore.
He was at my side, yelling at me to keep moving, not to quit on him. I hated it but I kept jogging as fast as I could. He kept telling me how to breathe, how to move my legs, how to focus my eyes.
"Five minute break.", he said and when I stopped I was almost hyperventilating. He put his hand behind my neck and bent me over, saying, "Head between your legs. Slow your breathing before you pass out. If I have to carry you back I'll be very aggravated with you."
I put my hands on my knees, doing as he said. The rain was still coming down on us.
He didn't seem bothered by this at all and sat on a rock, folding his arms, looking up at the rain, opening his lips and letting the water go in, his eyes closed. He looked like a god. He IS a god. But an angry one. The sports God. And I was his uncoordinated mortal trapped in his Hell now. And the torture would continue. In four minutes.
A hand through his hair, he moved it back and arched his back a little, stretching.
I couldn't help but look at him. To not look would be like ignoring great art or not listening to awesome music.
"Is there anything you CAN'T do ?", I asked, joking mostly.
"We'll see.", he kept his eyes closed, "Teaching you might be the first thing."
"I'm sorry.", I let my hair hang wetly over my face, "I'm trying."
After a moment he said, "I know you are."
I wanted to grab his hair and kiss his mouth so badly. It ached not to.
I wanted his hands on me, being rough with me…tearing my tight wet shirt off and letting the rain cover my breasts as he took my nipple into his hungry mouth full of need.
I wanted him to plant my ass on that rock and take me right there. But he didn't. And he never would. I hate my life.
"What are you gawking at Miss Swan ?", he asked, snapping me out of my happy place.
He was looking at me with frustration and not the sexual kind.
"Nothing.", I tried to save face, "Just wondering how you can run that far and not be dying like I am ?"
"Because I'm stronger than you, Miss Swan.", he said as if that were obvious.
"Okay, granted.", I agreed as he smiled a little, "How long did it take you to get so…athletic ?"
"Not long.", he said, "You'll see, with the right methods…you'll be athletic soon too in no time."
"That would be nice.", I laughed to myself, not believing that, "My father wouldn't even recognize me."
"I'm sure he would.", Mr. Cullen answered, to be nice probably. He didn't know. My father…even those words aren't true. He's never been my father.
He was watching me and looked a little concerned.
"We okay ?", he asked.
"Yea.", I tried a weak smile, "I'm fine."
"Okay.", he answered, not pushing for answers. I liked that. I hate when people push to see your pain.
He looked as if he was trying to hear something and could not. While he was looking at me. And it seemed to disturb him. But then his face went smooth and he almost looked relaxed.
"Listen.", he looked around above himself, and I did.
"What ?" I didn't hear anything.
"Exactly.", he smiled.
I think I just fell in love with a demon, I realized right then.
I would never have him, he was an adult and older and a teacher…everything about him was forbidden. And that made me want him even more. Plus there's the whole he hates me thing…and that I'm so not good enough for him. He probably has a smoking hot girlfriend. I wanted to ask but I decided not to after he thought I was flirting with him earlier.
I looked at his hands and saw no ring. That was something. Oh stop dreaming girl, I told myself.
I thought for a split second maybe he's gay but then I said no way. He could be…and that would be okay…but it would break my heart.
"I like this place.", I said to make conversation, "You come here a lot ?"
"Yea every now and then…to think.", he half smiled at me, "It's quiet here. I like the quiet."
"Me too.", I agreed, deciding to not talk anymore so he could enjoy his peace.
And it felt nice, not talking. Just hanging out, not needing to fill every second with noise and empty talk. But with Mr. Cullen it's never empty. He always gets to the heart of things and says what he wants. I respect that. I wish I could be that way, not afraid all the time.
"You're not much of a talker, are you ?", he finally broke the silence and eyed me.
"Not really.", I shrugged, "Words are so overused."
He smiled at me and replied, "I agree. People talk and talk and talk…and never think. It's like they just want to see if they can make noise, not caring what their noise sounds like."
"Yea.", I totally agreed with him and I hoped he could hear that in my short answer.
"Break over, Miss Swan.", he gave me a firm look and I straightened up right away.
"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I said, not trying to flirt…but I think my affection for him jingled in my voice.
"Race?" he asked me, jogging backwards in front of me.
"Why ?", I asked, jogging slow, "We both know you'll win."
"True.", he inhaled a mouthful of cold air and said, "How about if I decrease my speed a little ?"
"You trying to kill me ?", I asked, feeling a little braver now that we were outside.
"Not yet.", he raised both brows and jogged around behind me, "Come on Swan. Pick up those little stick legs."
At least he didn't call them chicken legs this time.
I don't know how but I made it back to the gym alive. When I finally got there, I just flopped myself on the nice smooth gym floor smelling of shellack. I was getting the floor wet but I didn't care.
I whimpered a little as he came in behind me.
"That was the slowest run I've ever taken.", he started but then when he saw me on the floor he stopped and said, "Miss Swan."
"Oh please…just for a minute.", I panted a little, "I'm so tired."
"Five minutes.", he snapped the words out, and walked away into the locker rooms.
Soon I was alright and looked around me. He wasn't there anymore. He didn't say I was dismissed though. I thought about what I could do and with an evil little grin I went to the wall, getting back up on it like he liked me to.
I hoped it wouldn't be for long. I was beat. Not at much as last night but still beat.
When he came back out, he had a towel around his neck, his hair looked mussed, towel dried and damp.
There was no towel for me in his hands.
"Well well well…", he slowly walked over to me, "Becoming friends, aren't you two ?"
"I don't know about that.", I answered honestly like he said earlier.
"Are you trying to impress me, Swan ?" he asked.
"No Sir.", I said, forcing myself to be brave, "I just want to…"
"To what, Miss Swan ?"
"I just want to be what you want me to be.", I admitted, "I want you to teach me. Make me strong."
I heard the desire in my own words and thought he would reject me now, accusing me of having some schoolgirl crush. I prepared myself to be humiliated again.
"You WILL be strong.", he stated as if he could see the future, "I guarantee it."
"Tell me what you eat on a daily basis.", his voice was all business now.
"What ?"
"What. Do. You Eat ?", he said it again, slowly.
"I don't know…", I tried to give a good answer, "Different things…"
"Breakfast.", he narrowed it down, "What things do you like for breakfast ?"
I wondered why he needed to know this but I answered anyway. Part of me, the stupid part, thought he was asking because he wanted me to have the meal with him after a long night of…yea right.
"Rice krispies, cocoa krispies…", I thought aloud, "Pop tarts, chocolate not strawberry…ummm….bacon egg and cheese on a bagel…"
"Beverages ?", he sounded very annoyed now.
"Uhh….soda…pepsi not coke…", I answered.
He waited.
"And ?"
"That's it.", I said.
He let out a breath.
"No water ?", he asked, "Orange juice ? Grapefruit juice ? Milk ?"
"Ukk.", I shuddered. I hated anything healthy.
"Ukkk?", he huffed.
"Lunch.", he spat the word out.
"Pizza.", I said my favorite first, "Peanut butter and jelly…cheeseburgers…"
"Enough !", he shouted, as if my words were burning him.
"Pizza…", he snarled, then came up to my side, and I felt his icy fingers on my waist, pinching my skin around my stomach.
"There it is….", he seethed as tears sprang to my eyes, "Bread and soda…chocolate…peanut butter…cheese !"
"Flabby shit.", he let me go and walked around to the bleachers, taking out his clip board.
"The only good thing you said was the word egg.", he tried to get control of himself, "Everything else is gone. You are never to eat anything again that's not on this list. Is that clear Miss Swan ?"
"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I tried not to get upset. Well…MORE upset.
"You're a teenager and your body will probably burn those empty calories but soon they will start doing damage to your body. Not the outside, the inside. Do you understand ?"
"Yes.", I took a deep breath, trying to be tough.
"Read the book again.", he further instructed, "The volleyball book that never sees the light of day. Make notes. We will go over it together line by line until you understand it all. Being strong and knowing how to hit the ball doesn't do you any good if you don't know the rules first."
"Okay.", I agreed, "Thank you."
"I wasn't asking you I'm telling you.", he underlined.
"Yes Mr. Cullen."
"I want to see your notes tomorrow for the first five chapters, here at detention at 4pm. DO NOT forget to do this assignment, I warn you it will not be pretty."
"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I felt he was angry with me now and I felt really bad about that. I thought we were just starting to get along.
"Any questions before you're dismissed Swan ?" his voice was tight.
"No Sir." I wanted his approval again.
"Then get out.", he said, all the friendliness in his tone gone.
I waited for him to leave before I got down. It seemed the right thing to do.
Slowly, he left and took his clipboard with him. The door inside the locker rooms slammed and I jolted when it did. I slowly got down, trying to find the way to do it without landing on my knees.
The list was on the floor and I wiped my wet hands off on my wet shirt, picking it up carefully so the words wouldn't get all messed up. I went to the other locker rooms where the girls went to change, changed my clothes fast, and left, on my way to the cafeteria to have dinner. It was almost time and I was starving.
While I was on the line to get my food, I looked at the list he gave me.
OMAD Diet
One meal a Day Diet
Fast for 23 hours eat for 1 hour per day
What the fuck ? No one eats one meal a day ! I'll starve !
"What do you have there ?", a little voice asked behind me, "A love letter ?"
"No.", I answered dryly, as if bitter about that, as Alice looked at me, grinning.
"It's more like a hate letter.", I added.
"Oooh the OMAD diet !", she took it and started to read it.
I snatched it back from her, not needing her poking around in my private Hell.
"I did that once.", she informed, "It's hard at first but then it's pretty cool."
"Oh yea…real cool.", I couldn't even pretend to be enthusiastic.
I read it and looked for something I could eat.
Ground beef
Egg
Ground steak
Milk
Chicken breast
cottage cheese
Fish fillets or steaks
yogurt
Tuna Beans and peas
Pork tenderloin
Kale
Ham
Lamb
Sunflower seeds
Mackerel
Pineapple
Edameme Beans
Soy Beans
Venison
Broccoli
Eggs
Anchovies
Tumeric
Full fat Organic Milk
Grass Fed Organic Beef
Natural yogurt
Watercress
Ricotta cheese
Kiwis
Cucumber
Turkey
Red peppers
Water
Cherry juice
Spinach
Fuck me. I never even heard of some of this crap.
I hated almost every single thing on this list. The meat was okay. But no soda, no orange juice….? No chocolate milk ? No ice cream no nothing ! Why ? I'm skinny why am I suddenly on this kooky diet ? Oh yea…because I have a chicken ass and stick legs. Would those words ever NOT hurt ? And he pinched my waist and called it flabby shit. It's sick but those words would work at keeping me on this diet. Maybe that was his plan.
I never had to be on a diet in my life.
But he got so mad at me when I just listed my breakfast and lunch stuff…glad I didn't have to tell him about dinner and my snacks. I love Doritos TO DEATH. Onion dip…ohh man. How long was this diet supposed to last anyway ?
"There's chicken ", Alice helped me and showed me where grilled chicken was….not even fried chicken. This was gonna taste like cloth.
"Spinach…", she took some and gave me a big bunch of it. I wouldn't eat it but whatever Alice.
"What can I have to drink ?", I asked.
"Water or milk.", she said.
"Uhhh…", I wretched, "It's like choosing between cyanide and fire."
"Water ?", she asked me, grabbing a bottle of water from the pile. The poor little cans of soda were looking at me, holding their little arms out to me, wondering why they weren't coming with me.
Sitting down, I was pissed.
"Aw don't look so mad about it.", she smiled at me, "It's not that bad."
I shot her a look and she said, "Once my Mom put me on a diet of just nuts and water."
"Why'd she do that ?", I asked her, "You're a rail."
"I wasn't always.", she took a bite of a carrot stick, "My Mom is very into…me looking good."
I suddenly felt real sorry for Alice. Did Mr. Cullen help her get so skinny ? I wanted to ask but chose not to right now.
"You always look good, Alice.", I told her.
She smiled and took a sip of her water, "Thanks Bella, so do you."
I suddenly felt fat. His fingers pinching my skin …I could still feel it.
"I don't know about that.", I sniffed the chicken before cutting into it, "I'm fat."
"Get outta here.", she said, making a disbelieving face.
"You don't have to do that…", I told her, "It's okay."
"Who said you're fat ?" she asked me.
"Guess.", I looked at her and took a bite of my dry chicken, my teeth scraping the fork.
"Oh.", she figured it out, her face saddening a bit, "He really said that ?"
"Not directly…", I was about to say more when I pulled back, "It's not important, change the subject. Uhhh…how's your classes ? You like the teachers you have ?"
This was always a safe topic in school.
The rest of the meal was dreadful and the subject matter light and empty, like Mr. Cullen had said. Noise to fill the emptiness.
I went to my room, saying I had homework. I took out the volleyball book and my notebook, opening it and getting to work.
Chapter One.
Edward's POV:
I couldn't believe it that after last night she was actually LATE again the very next day ! And Miss Hale too. That bitch was supposed to be helping me, not hindering me with Miss Swan. Wait until I get my hands on her again.
Miss Hale and I have our history, not an epic one but she is one of my girls. I haven't thought about her in over a year but when she started to befriend Miss Swan I remembered her. It was very fun catching up with her the other night. She didn't like the idea of helping me with Miss Swan but what choice did she have ? She even tried to cut my class that next day but I caught her. Miss Hale was a tiny little thing, not strong enough or not usually the type I looked for in a pet. But she has her advantages.
But it was nice to have something on Bella during class. Tormenting her was just too much fun. As I instructed her how to stand on the volleyball court, I noticed that as much as I tried to keep my hands off her, whenever I was even in the same room with her, my hands just instinctively kept finding their way to her. She doesn't flinch when my cold fingers touch her…that was nice.
And I was a little frustrated that as easy as I was making this class for her, she still had problems following simple instructions. I realized fast that I would have to just start from lesson one with her. And when she tried to blow up that balloon…I thought I'd die laughing. She was absolutely a dark shade of violet. And as I blew it up myself, every girl had their nasty little eyes on me…thinking the most lust filled thoughts, like I was some piece of meat.
And when Miss Swan asked how she should serve the ball I wanted to grab her. I just read the whole book to her last night ! I knew she wasn't paying attention. What was she thinking ?
Then after class I decided to conduct a little test for her. I offered her the choice of leaving my class. She looked wounded when I suggested it. I was never going to let her out of my class at all. I just wanted to see what she would say. She chose correctly. And when I asked her if she wanted to stay with me, I was playing with her a little bit…I loved it when her heart pounded through her chest and the pheromones coming off her were soooo delicious. Oh yea…she is smitten with me. Or…with the vampire, I should say.
Then I wanted to make it clear to her my expectations, my requirements of her. Another test. She said I was a good teacher. And while I wondered what was wrong with her a little part of me felt very good as she told me that.
I saw her run out of my class and couldn't believe it ! She's bow legged ! I'd have to remedy that as well.
Then I bit that dumb balloon, pretending it was her. She rushed over to me when I landed on the floor and was actually concerned about me. I could've gotten that balloon for sure…but to do that would reveal my vampire speed and I couldn't let my girls see that. And I had been distracted by her scent at that moment so I wasn't paying attention to the goddamn balloon.
I always listened in to Bella's group therapy through the heads of the other girls and Dr. Carlisle. Today he went right after her, trying to pry into her mind…and worse, her heart. He touched her back. I wanted to rip his arms off and my inner demon growled out, wanting blood. The only thing that calmed us was Bella's evasion of his advances…she clearly didn't trust him and I was thrilled about that. He kept calling her Isabella…what a dolt. I almost danced when she told him off and said she didn't like him ! And that crap about we're all friends here who just don't know each other yet ?
Jesus. This guy really has a degree ? From a real college ?
Furthermore, I loved her remarks about not giving chances to strangers and people always hurt you. So right Miss Swan. Maybe she's not as unaware as I thought.
"Bella has a lot of anger.", Dr. Carlisle said.
What a bastard. Way to reach her you dickhead – you just cut any chance of a connection with her now, you idiot. And talking to the others about her while she was sitting right there. Unforgivable. I was glad that he screwed up but I was baffled at the arrogance of this guy.
Miss Swan said that you can't be free of your anger ever. Truth, girl. I'm the poster child for that sentiment.
Then the prick doctor tried to talk shit about ME to her ?! Two can play that game shithead. Game on.
He wants her alone. Fuck. You. Keep your fucking hands off her, Doctor. I saw her first. And she's a very good candidate for MY private program not yours. Then she told him off again !
That's MY good girl ! This kitten has teeth after all.
Then I heard her coming back to my detention…and she mentioned Hectate….one of the Greek goddesses….I'd have to look her up later.
I let her be there on the wall for awhile…letting time pass…letting her consider things.
And I found a way to poison Dr. Carlisle to her and take him away from her in case she wanted to run to him for help in the future. Some of them did. Not many…just some. And they all paid dearly for it. I hope Miss Swan isn't that naive.
And when she went back on the wall without whining or crying I felt so proud of her. She was doing very well today with my experiments.
And every time that scent hit me, the one that said she wanted me…I had to push her away a bit, cool her off. So I had to play the goody two shoes teacher and told her not to flirt with me. She looked so sad. She also said she doesn't want to be a proper young lady…that was a great point in her favor.
Then I took her to my spot in the meadow…what was I thinking ? But I had to admit the silence was fucking amazing. I hated pushing her away every time I had to. Even in the rain I could smell her arousal. She said she wants to be what I want. Don't worry, Miss Swan…I'm already very interested in seeing where this goes. You WILL be strong. I'll make sure of it. Because when you are, you will be mine completely.
I knew before I even asked her that her eating habits were poor. That explained a lot. I almost lost it when she told me the garbage she was putting into her mouth. No wonder she can't run in a straight line. And when I pinched her flat stomach and insulted her I just did it to keep her on her new diet. I shouldn't have done that. I was so angry with myself that I slammed the inner door to my office and broke it. I think I insulted her because I found myself liking her more than I wanted…and that was a trick to push her away a bit.
But above all…when she was washing herself in the gym, no bra…and looked at me with that innocent expression, asking me if it was alright with me…damn. I almost took her right then and there. She will never know how close she had come to death. Well, fucking for hours and THEN death. I wonder if she would have minded.
But I was stronger than I thought and I had managed to tear myself away from her…for just a little while longer.
Miss Swan was asleep in her tiny bed…I stood there, watching her from my black corner of the room. She began to stir…her eyes moving beneath their lids, her body trying to struggle as she dreamt of something I could not see. I so wished I could look into that brain and see if my face was the one she was seeing.
A couple moments later, she put a hand up, fighting off the ghost in her dream…but not fighting all that hard. She looked conflicted…between wanting to fight and wanting to submit. I smiled, licking my lips as the venom pooled in the back of my mouth. I was so thirsty for her. A big part of me strained and pleaded for release. Pleaded for me to let him loose so he could ravage her, rape her mercilessly and then drink every drop of that intoxicating blood. He cared not for her well being or if she hurt, if bones were broken or muscle torn…he only cared about his need. I used to fight the devil inside me all the time, in the beginning. But now, hundreds of years later, I had come to understand him and know that his interest were my interests. The only thing I fought now was the quickness at which he wanted to move. He was still very impulsive for a monster…he was often mindless and unconcerned about details. But I still have my mind, if not a heart or soul…and I preferred to start at lesson one with my students, as much as I would love to enjoy playing at lesson 541. Just like Miss Swan and her volleyball problem…I wanted to teach and teach her correctly. And that begins with step one, lesson one. Foundations are important.
I was often surprised by my fondness for the start of training. I thought I would be bored with it by now. But when a girl is struck with a whip for the first time…wow…magic happens in their eyes…and in their bodies…it's like…I forced the closed rosebud to open a little before its time…and I got to be there as the flower opened and spread apart, showing all her colors and beauty, her fragrance dancing in the air for the first time. It was quite a treat and a privilege to witness that.
I wasn't fool enough to think they wanted or chose me. I know I'm a monster. But something human in me is still in there, buried deep underneath all my sins and memories…that part of me that cries out, "I don't want to BE a monster." But he is. He ALWAYS will be.
I wish that human kid would die already. Let go boy…let me become completely what I am. Why are you still in there ? What are you waiting for ?
Shoving all that inner talk aside, I tried to concentrate now on my Miss Swan here. I only took my eyes off her for a second to notice that on her desk was a notebook.
Chapter One
1. What does it mean to serve the ball with a dominant hand?
I smiled to myself. She had done the assignment I had given her. I turned a page and saw lots of notes, questions. I couldn't wait until tomorrow to answer them all. I was almost disappointed that I wouldn't be able to punish her for missing the assignment. But mostly I was glad she obeyed me.
Hectate…her goddess…I had learned earlier was Goddess of the Undead among other things. Ghosts too. I wasn't sure why she chose her to pray to but maybe I should say a little prayer also before I touch her. Please Hectate…help me to be strong. Help me to restrain myself. I don't want to kill this little girl. I just want to play with her. And maybe something WILL happen that will convince me that I was wrong about this one…that she wasn't that special after all. But for right now, I was dying to test drive this little vehicle.
Why did she have to smell so fucking good ? I felt like a drug addict brought to my knees with the best shit there was. But I couldn't have it…yet. But I could watch the heroin walk and talk and trip and dance around me every day. As if it was daring me to take it.
Alright Miss Swan…enough waiting. Let's dance.
I reached down gently and moved the blanket off of her, seeing a long black nightshirt made of cotton, little silver stars drawn across it. Her legs were bare and she wore beat up gray socks with a hole in one toe. She was no lingerie lover, like some of the little trollops around here. Miss Hale was wearing pink silk underwear the other day when I undressed her. She actually refused to do it herself. Brave little slut.
I had asked her, "What is this ? Who are you wearing THIS for ?"
She'd said, "It's from Paris, Mr. Cullen, it's vintage!"
Whatever that meant.
I tore it off her as she cried and I said, "Now it's shit." She didn't like that at all. I almost laughed recalling her expression.
But I wanted to focus now on Miss Swan. I would usually beckon her to me like the others but her mind was closed to me so that wouldn't work. I had to be a little more creative here. I liked that this time would not be normal like all the others.
I put my hand gently around her neck, being careful not to put much pressure on. When I lifted her out of bed, I traveled as fast as I could to my little room at the north end of the school. I had prepared this room earlier for her. I cleaned the wooden floor and lit a couple of candles in just the right places. I left dark corners too where I could keep my face hidden for now. This was the abandoned area like the rest but this was not as cold or rough as the other sections. You might even call it like the Kindergarten of my private little academy. A gentler place.
She did not wake in the two seconds it took me to get her here…and I loved that. She would just wake up here with me now, thinking she was still in her bedroom, and it would be a sweet surprise for her.
I moved the hair out of my way and placed a very rough kiss there on her neck, my teeth almost grazing…I clutched her hair and heard her as she began to wake up. My hands were holding her now, standing her on her feet in front of me while I tasted her flesh. I curled an arm around her waist and my other hand forced her head back, resting it on my shoulder as I went in again, taking a wet lick up her jugular. She began to moan at this but I put my hand tight over her mouth, silencing her.
I usually loved talking but this was lesson one. I would not speak to her yet. I wanted to go slowly and let her enjoy only the sensations I would be introducing her to. Her hands instinctively began to grab onto my arm that was holding her mouth but I ignored that. She wasn't fighting me that hard. She no doubt knew it was me due to my smell but she could not see me. We were standing in pitch black air.
I spent a few more moments just putting my lips and mouth on her soft skin. Her ear…her neck…her shoulder…it was very exposed because of the loose flimsy pajama shirt she was wearing. I yanked the sleeve down more, exposing the top of her right breast. She let out a small sound under my hand but it didn't sound like fear. I clamped her mouth down a little more, not hurting her much, maybe a tad.
Her tip toes barely touched the floor as I continued slowly…the backs of my fingers moved so lightly over the top of her breast, taking my time not to rush in and just fondle it right away.
"Mmmm", I let myself voice my approval of what I was feeling so far. I also wanted her to know it was me. Maybe she would recognize my voice.
And I took a small bite at her shoulder, not breaking skin yet. I lightly sucked the area as if I was drinking her…but not. A little mew sound came out of her and that made me even more erect in my jeans as she moved her body against me there. She was so tight against me and I held her hips so she was tighter pinned to me.
My hands were both on her neck and they gave light squeezes…then release…while I kissed her cheek, her hair…her face…my tongue equally caressing each molecule of her. She tasted like nothing else I'd ever had before…holy fuck what is it in her veins ? It can't just be blood.
My face was buried in her long thick hair and I almost lost control of the monster right then. No boy…no. I told him, pulling his leash back hard. Patience. I am the Master. Obey. Sit.
I thought I smelled tears but I didn't pay any attention. Girls would often cry out of surprise or fear or desire. It never mattered much to me, until they became loud about it like an insolent toddler.
I wanted to rip the clothing from her but I didn't. She would need something to wear when I put her back to bed. And in the start, I liked to keep them guessing. Did it really happen or did I dream that ? A torn up nightshirt would be proof that it happened. Very soon she would be only too aware that I was real and not a nightmare. But not yet.
I moved the nightshirt roughly down off her. First exposing her breasts….then slowly I moved it down her waist until I could see a pair of white panties. These weren't like the shorts she wore in the gym…these were nicer. Not silk or lace but they were bikini like…they showed a lot more skin.
The garment was on the floor at her feet now and she didn't move them to get out of it. I felt her back arch up against me and I kept hold of her mouth, my other hand exploring that young, tight body. Her breasts were not as small as I thought I noticed as I took one in my hand and began manipulating it softly in my palm, my fingers urgent and getting impatient.
She gave another small cry out loud and the sound of that muffled and heat vibrating in my hand thrilled me.
Her hands gently rested on my arm that had her face captive. She's not fighting me at all.
Yes Miss Swan you behave for your Master, that's right.
I switched hands and fondled the other breast, not wanting that one to feel left out. I lifted her a bit more off her feet as I let her body rest against mine, wanting her full weight on me. It was nothing to me, a feather…but a very soft and sensual feather that smelled like paradise.
I want to fuck her now ! My inner voice strangled against his leash.
Down you slobbering mutt !
My fingers traveled everywhere…her arms…her torso…her stomach…her pelvis…her thighs…I opened them carefully and moved up and down there, not daring to touch the center yet…not yet. Take your time…wait…
I could hear it beginning to rain outside and that made me even happier.
The slowness was excruciating for me and no doubt for her too. I crawled inside my mind, on hands and knees, to get there in the right way. So many other girls I would dive right in and get to the game…but some…some were to be savored…tasting a tiny sip of an excellent wine, letting it roll on your tongue…not swallowing it yet. Just tasting it. Inhaling the bouquet.
I had let go of her mouth as both my hands moved along the sides of her legs, near her pert little ass still in the underwear. She did not scream or talk, only gave heavy breaths and quiet moans. Even if she howled bloody murder, no one would hear her.
I put her hands behind my hips and silently told her to keep them there. She did. She learns fast.
My palms were back over both her breasts now and I softly let myself feel them in my hands…they were so warm….so firm. I could feel her heart beating inside, faster now.
Then I moved my hands down and over her belly button, just resting them there a few seconds. I decided I liked the way her body felt. I hoped she wasn't too put off by my icy hands. She didn't shiver so maybe it was alright.
I had to play with her right this instant. And before I knew it, I was clutching her hair and moving with her towards the leather block a few feet away, a single candle near that corner.
Without a word, I helped her get up there. She did pretty much all the climbing herself. It wasn't high off the floor, just enough to allow me complete access to her. This was a soft leather surface for her, not hard like some of my other blocks. That would come much later.
She was on her knees on the block now, her hands still around and behind me. I grinned, liking how well she'd done this task. I slowly bent her head down now, so she was looking down and not at me. The candle would've surely let her see me at this angle. But I didn't want her eyes on me yet.
I took my leather cuffs, the nice ones with the soft mink fur inside, and began to buckle her left wrist into it. I waited for a fight but none came. Surprised and glad, I tightly secured the other wrist. I kissed her bare back afterwards and spent some time there, my fingernails lightly moving in intricate designs along her quivering flesh.
I parted her hair and moved it in front of her, to expose the entire back…mmmm lovely.
A little skinny but still very attractive. I licked up her spine and placed deep kisses everywhere I could…her shoulder blades…I scratched up and down them and she seemed to really enjoy that. A deep moan came out of her and I almost FELT her arousal in my chest.
I then slowly secured her ankles in the same soft cuffs and then I locked all of them together so she was comfortably on her knees, hands behind her, ankles apart and also locked up.
There you go Miss Swan. All ready.
Except for one thing.
I took the scarf I had chosen earlier, a red, black and white abstract design on it…it was lace, very thin and light. I folded it in three so she would not be able to see through it. And I looped it in the air with a flourish and let it take loose hold over her eyes. I tied it carefully, making sure it was snug but not painfully so.
I walked in front of her and looked over every inch. She was not muscular yet but she would be…not too much…just enough. But her body was flawless, a virgin canvas never touched before.
She wasn't saying anything, she just stayed there, like she was beginning to do with the wall in gym. Does she want to please me ?
Still not saying a word, I shook my glass of water and ice near her ear. She flinched, surprised and bit her bottom lip. Fuck.
I had to bite it too…and I did. I kissed her mouth suddenly and took a very easy bite on her bottom lip, holding it…then letting go. She kissed me back pretty hard also…she was liking this !
Then I took a large chunk of ice out of the cold water in my glass and let a couple frosty drops land on her mouth….those pale pink lips…she arched her head up, opening her mouth and wanting to stick out her tongue but restrained herself I could tell. Still trying to play the good girl.
I painted the ice cube over her lips now….first the top, moving along the curves and lines of her mouth, then below…letting the gloss coat her as it glided. I placed the jagged piece in the center and she actually closed her lips over it…giving it a small suck, drinking the water…tasting it, closing her lips over my fingertips.
Oh my God. This girl may not live to see tomorrow.
I let her keep sucking my fingers and the ice it held…and her tongue moved against them too.
I hated to leave here…but I forced my fingers to take the ice away from that hot mouth and agonizingly let it crawl down her chin, down her neck…down between her breasts, then a half circle around the right breast…and finally…moving the frozen wetness around her little pink nipple. She gave a little squeal and I smiled as I let the ice play there awhile, watching the little pink nub harden.
It seemed years later when I let the left breast have my attention. I dripped water on it with another piece of ice and traced nice little circles around this nipple too. She was really breathing heavy and hard now, her head falling back every now and then as I worked her carefully.
I put the ice in my teeth and moved it over the mound of her breasts, underneath….on top…my nose was wet and cold moving along her body but I didn't care at all. I moved down her torso to her belly button and let the ice sit in there, melting in seconds.
I kissed it and drank in the drop of water that remained. I stuck my tongue in there and lapped the rest out as she panted harder, her wrists lightly moving in their captivity, a small creak of the leather sounding in my ears.
I reached for my long sharp scissors and took a breath. Keep control I told myself. Never lose control with her.
With a very steady hand, I put the closed scissors on her nose, just lightly moving them down without bloodshed, down her little nose to her lips. She trembled slightly but I wanted to see if she trusted me. She did. Stupid girl. I wanted to tell her DON'T. Trusting me is the most deadly mistake you could ever make. Not that it mattered. She would not stop me from doing as I pleased.
I trailed my scissors down her torso, between the shiny wet breasts, and came to her panties.
I scraped the panties with the edge of the blades but did not rip them. Then I went to the side of her hips and slipped the opened scissors in under the panties and cut with one fluid motion. She jumped slightly and a jagged breath came out of her mouth. I moved my scissors to the other side and cut those the same way. Her legs were shaking now and that meant I was doing my job.
My hand pulled the garment out from under her and she turned her head to the side a bit, as if embarrassed but still she did not struggle or argue.
I smelled the thin garment and closed my eyes, DAMN that is the best scent I ever inhaled.
I came up to her and grabbed her hair a little forcefully, and my fingers opened her mouth, stuffing most of the panties inside. My scissors traced an invisible swirl along her cheek and still did not draw blood. She gave a muffled little noise that meant nervousness as I moved the open scissors ever so gently down her neck and towards her breast, stopping right before I got to the nipple. I put the scissors down then and decided she passed that examination quite well. She is brave.
I shook the glass of ice to let her hear it and I placed one of the triangular shaped pieces on her belly button again, continuing from where I had left off. I moved it straight down to her dark pink clit and she really jerked her head and screamed out as it arrived there. I almost laughed as I played there…letting the clit get hard and very wet from the cold stone in my hand. I let the ice explore everywhere it could reach, her legs opening more on their own while I played. I blew air onto the poor little clit that almost vibrated in front of me. I couldn't hold back anymore from tasting it and I let my tongue join the ice there…both of us moving and tasting the water and her nectar mixed together. I gave out a very satisfied growl as I lapped and buried my tongue inside her, moving it without much mercy.
Her guttural throat sounds were killing me as I sucked and fucked with my mouth and tongue. I had to hold back a lot or I could tear her thin fragile tissues…but to her I'm sure it was a ravaging.
"Ohhh YESSSS YESSSS !", her first words came out as she clenched the panties in her teeth.
Normally I would have told her, "Don't speak unless you're spoken TO…slut."
But I refrained this time.
I wouldn't and couldn't stop eating her…not in the vampire sense in the sexual one.
This was as close as I would come to tasting her blood tonight. Her juices were just as fucking hot and divine as I'm sure her blood would be to me someday.
My fingers and the ice were still mixed in with my tongue as I closed my mouth over her entire clit and pussy over and over again. I wanted to make her come, I wanted to hear her scream and orgasm on my tongue. I took her ass in my hands and held her to me, not letting her move even a hair away from me.
It didn't take long before she was quaking and spasming, jerking at her cuffs and screaming through her panty gag as I moved harder and faster, my fingers vibrating against her clit while I fucked her with my tongue, my nose tickling her as I worked.
Come on baby…let go….leave that proper young lady behind…be my little slut. Only mine. Give me your first orgasm.
Then she did as if she read my mind and she bucked and shrieked like a child, her head wild in the air, her hair flying back over her face as I kept going against her will. Her legs were seizing on both sides of my head as I drank and drank the sweet tastes inside her.
Finally, I released her….very slowly…and I found myself kissing along her inner thighs, so close to that vein that I liked to pierce when it was time to drink. Just a small bite…my teeth were dangerously playing along her fragile skin.
Not yet.
I SAID NOT YET !
I had to launch myself backwards away from her until my back smashed against the wall across from Miss Swan. She heard a crash but could not see what it was.
I composed myself and came back beside her, letting her know without a word that everything was alright. She calmed immediately as I touched her hair, smoothing it and moving it over one side of her face…loving the sensation of it in my fingers.
Without thinking I kissed her lips so desperately that I forgot to remove the panties out of her mouth. But it didn't matter. I left them in there and moved to her neck again, tempting myself further. Why was I doing this to myself ? I had to cool off a bit…or she'd be dead in minutes.
I pulled away suddenly and it was like moving away from hot fire and descending into icy misery.
Part of me nearly wept from the loss as I picked up a candle, looking at the flickering flame….
I smirked and brought it to Miss Swan…holding it over her neck and tipping it just a bit.
One drop of hot wax plopped out of the candle tip and laid out in a lazy circle onto her skin.
"UHHH", she let a sound out that said she was surprised and a bit distressed as the heat intruded on her cold neck.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
I began moving it down her neck and then over each breast. Her body jerked a fraction each time but she tried to remain still, her wrists twisting a bit against her bonds.
I came up behind her and moved all her hair to the side over her face now, one hand with the candle, one hand with an ice cube. One breast getting the wax…one getting the ice around the nipple.
My chin rested on her shoulder as I watched the black wax from the candle paint sweet little dots all over her chest.
Then I switched the candle and ice around and confused her even more. It was wickedly fun.
She whimpered and took it without much noise and I could've stayed there for five years.
I let my fingers pinch her nipples firmly, bringing the cold again as I pinched and held it…then released it, letting the blood flow again as she yelped and bucked against me.
Then I let the candle explore down below. She struggled a bit now, not going anywhere but still I liked the way it felt as she shivered in my arms.
I held under her chin and moved my nose against her cheek, inhaling and kissing to assure her she was in safe hands. What a fucking liar I am. I had my hand over her mouth again to quiet her and I took it away, she did not protest any further.
Deciding to give her a hot drop on the skin above her clit, I began there. Let her feel it and get used to it a bit. I know I was being easy on her but I just gave her one big drop on the clit as she screamed out. I steadied her from behind and let her thrash a little…then she calmed, breathing harder.
I wanted to shove my cock into her mouth so badly but I knew that wasn't for lesson one. Soon, I told myself, soon. She's not going anywhere. Relax.
My hands wanted their whips and crops, they wanted to hurt her and watch her skin turn bright pink. I wanted to put nipple clamps on her and make her cry, adding weights to them as she begged for my mercy.
NOT YET I SAID!
Let's fuck her…please…fuck her right now…something in me was begging like a dog on his knees.
NO.
She wants it !
NO.
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU!
I paced, my hands in my hair, wondering if I should just end it now. Let her go…let her be transferred out of this school completely.
Are you INSANE ?
I'm far too selfish to let this get away from me. It will stay for as long as I need it. I mean, she will.
She was just staying there, still and silently…beautifully. Waiting for me.
I got some very warm water and added some perfumed soap into it. She was all messy now and needed some maintenance. Without speaking again, I took a washcloth and sunk it into the basin, and I began to wash her body, very slowly…loving the look of the white and silver bubbles on her skin. She moaned and relaxed as I cleaned the now hard and cold wax off her skin…and moved slowly around each breast being sure not to rush it. I wiped the cloth around her eyes and face, the sweet impertinent nose…down her long neck…the shoulders…dripping carelessly down her chest to her perfect breasts. Then, travelling down between her legs, moving too quickly up and down as she trembled again, pushing herself against my clothed hand. I was almost dizzy with lust as I moved down her legs and knees, getting a little giggle from her there, and then the calves and ankles….then her pretty feet. The feet that never went in the right direction or knew how to run correctly. Maybe someone, whoever created this little minx, did that on purpose, so she'd be easier to catch, not that I would need it to be any easier.
Who would do this to Miss Swan ? Give her the most delicious smelling blood, and make her uncoordinated at the same time ? Was she just made to be food for us ? Again, I cursed whatever god would do such a thing. If there is a god, he is a misogynistic shit.
I washed her back and moved my fingers down her spine, moving to her naked ass cheeks. I washed them very thoroughly, and felt high once again. A big part of me hating feeling this way, unstable and unsure…not in control of myself. That wasn't me. But the whole of me had to admit: I was connected to her…I could not pull away like I could from all the other girls. It was like she was a magnet and she held me to her. I could not break her hold on me. I didn't want to. I hoped that in time her grip on me would loosen and I would bore of her…like the rest. Maybe that would set me free. But then when I thought of it, something inside began to ache.
After her bath, I just lightly played with her a little. I took a finger and moved it up underneath her foot.
She laughed and jerked, ticklish. I had some fun with that for awhile. I loved hearing her laugh. It was like a twinkling of angels' wings. Demons never get to hear that.
Then I just kissed her mouth, over and over again, my hands exploring her again and again, not tempting myself to go to the one place she really wanted me to. Maybe she thought I was teasing her. Actually I just wanted to practice touching and kissing her without waking up the beast in me again.
I took a bunch of the ice cubes into my mouth and smoothed the rigid edges and slowly inserted one into her pussy, my tongue opening it a bit. Then another…and another…she threw her head back and gave a full throated scream.
I was trying to make myself a stronger player, a more controlled Master. Every slave is owed that. To cross that line would be unforgivable. And I have crossed it many times. But if nothing else, this would be good for me as a vampire over 250 years old. To be stronger than before, more expert in my craft.
My lips had devoured every inch of her and I still wasn't satisfied yet. I kept thinking I'd get used to her scent but every minute it got more intense. Fire. A very sweet fire.
I took the cloth out of her mouth and was about to unchain her so I could dress her and return her home. It was a good first night I had to admit and I didn't want to do too much this first time.
But then as the cloth came out of her mouth she took a hard breath and brought her lips to mine, kissing me hard. Her tongue tried to enter my mouth and at first I tried to stop her but then I said screw it and opened, letting her in. I swallowed back my venom helplessly as she kept kissing me, her body shivering as she broke the kiss and moved to my chin, placing a kiss there…then down to my neck…she even took a firm bite but she would never break my skin.
This is a very delicious surprise !
I almost said her name but stifled myself as she moved her nose along my adam's apple and moved lower, trailing kisses down my neck to my chest…and I felt her tongue lick around MY nipple.
JESUS CHRIST.
Is she daring me to take her now ?
She sucked my nipple into her mouth and moaned, the heat and vibration driving me crazy. I leapt in one hop onto the leather box and instantly regretted it. My jeans were still on but my poor cock struggled to break free and join in the game. She was kissing my stomach now, biting and licking. Hot shit….this girl is a virgin ?
I inhaled again to make sure. Yes, she is. It's something you can smell in the blood, only a vampire would understand.
She knows a lot for a virgin. I'd have to discuss this with her sometime. I almost laughed picturing her face if I asked her about it.
Her tongue was licking right at the waistband of my pants and her teeth grabbed at the denim, as if she could rip them with her pathetic human fangs.
I smiled, watching her for a couple minutes, watching as she got nowhere. She looked all frustrated and weak. Adorable.
But still I looked up through the cracks in the ceiling and saw the rain as she nibbled and whimpered, begging for my flesh and not getting it. Closing my eyes, I tried to find my strength, my concrete will…it was slipping away.
I didn't think it would work but I wanted to make her go to sleep now. I had to stop now or I would certainly drain her.
"Go to sleep Miss Swan.", I said in a whisper.
Instead, she garbled something incoherent and rubbed her face against my hard erection, the jeans too tough a shield for her. She heaved a hot breath into the denim there and closed her lips over the fabric.
Enough. A second longer would be too long.
I took my fingers and reached around behind her neck. There is a nerve there called the vagus nerve . When it is stimulated, the response is often a reduction in heart-rate or breathing. In some cases, excessive stimulation can cause someone to have what is known as a vaso-vagal response, appearing to fall into a faint or coma because his or her heart rate and blood pressure drop so much.
I knew enough to just press this little nerve downward a tad and then she would go to sleep.
"Good night Miss Swan.", I whispered into her ear as I kissed her there, pressing the nerve now.
She fought it for a second or two but then she went limp in my arms. I kissed her a couple more times, caressing that gorgeous hair of hers.
"What ARE you ?", I wondered out loud, looking over her very peaceful face.
In seconds, I released her cuffs with one hand and laid her on her back on the leather.
Getting her clothes, I put the nightshirt on her….and saw the panties were a lost cause…no matter, I'd put new ones on her in her room, then I put the socks on each foot.
These socks are terrible, I frowned at them as I examined them further, holes everywhere and all worn on the bottoms.
"It must be awful being poor.", I mumbled to myself, then I carefully moved her so she was laying over my shoulder. This is usually how I transported a pet out of here. But then I thought about it and moved my arm, holding her bridal style. I don't know why I did it…I just did.
Her warm face was against my chest and I liked it there. Her arm curled around my neck, holding me. I ran her home so no one could or would see us. In seconds we were at her room.
I moved the blanket and placed her inside, taking a few seconds to put a new pair of underwear on her, I tucked her in and still did not want to go yet. I looked around a little, trying to get to know her a little bit more. I looked through her phone, seeing a bunch of nasty things there.
Videos of women getting fucked…
"Well hello Miss Swan…", I was gladly surprised.
I looked at her friends and contacts. Jasper. Who the fuck is that ? She has no siblings. I typed his name in her facebook and found his picture, a cute little boy with blonde hair and he's all holding Bella in his arms, the two of them laughing and hanging out together. Oh I'd definitely be checking into this. He lives in Forks. That at least was something. Again I found myself not acting right.
Every girl of mine – I've never checked to see if they had boyfriends or significant others, I never cared. Sure once they were mine I compelled them never to touch another boy again but that was just so they'd be aching for me when I beckoned them over. I have to remember who I am here…I'm no lovesick puppy, I'm a 265 year old vampire. I told myself this girl would not change anything. She was a side project, nothing more. In a short time, I'd have a handle on this and be my old self again. Yay me. I heard a grumble inside declare.
Her taste in books was interesting. Death, death….death….murder mysteries…the same in her google history. Poetry about death, darkness…this was a common phenomenon in young girls, especially the ones here. It would not be difficult to frame Miss Swan's death as a suicide with all this evidence.
And her mother too.
Such a shame. So much waste. I raised a brow as I looked down at her.
I don't know what your fate will be, Miss Swan…but I will be there with you when it comes.
I wanted to believe it would be a happy tale, she would be my pet and I her Master, and I would teach her and mold her as she grew up…keep her on as one of my girls. Drink that sweet wine from her veins when I needed it. Keep her at arms length like the others…I could have years with her. But the monster inside me wanted something else. He wanted all of her. Now. How many centuries would it be before I had complete control of that thing ?
I looked through her notebooks, finding the start of lessons in Spanish, history…every so often there would be a page where she doodled something. Her drawing was not bad either. It was a little girl cutting her own arm with a little knife. I turned a page and found a drawing of me there. It was not a bad likeness. She made me more beautiful in her picture, fantasizing again. I closed the book and followed my nose to a little box under her bed. In it was a bunch of things…a plastic fork from the cafeteria, the end sharpened to a little dull point. A little metal tool with a sharp edge on it…a guitar pick with three edges sharpened. Not much…just enough to make a tiny wound. Her blood was on each sharpened edge.
Ah, we like to cut ourselves, do we, Miss Swan ? I grinned as if I were a human and just found out something very attractive about her. I knew all about this topic. And why she did it. I was not shocked or surprised, only pleasantly so. She is trying to deal with her pain. I've been there.
I almost licked it but I stopped myself. I don't want it this way. Better to wait.
After another hour I decided I had learned enough for now…the rest would slowly unfold later if she lived that long. I checked on her again and she was breathing fine, her eyes moving very slowly beneath her eyelids. She was in a deep rem sleep now, so I took my leave. I wanted to kiss her again but I didn't. I had to keep the relationship clear. I am the Master. She will be the slave. Better not to blur the lines.
It had been awhile since I'd been in a girl's bedroom before. It was interesting going through her things, touching her clothes, reading her little poems…there were things to fix here…and if she was going to belong to me, I would help her fix those things. Nothing can have a hold over her tighter than mine. Not junk food, not porn, not even her own mental anguish. I would not be second to any of them.
She looked so angry at me earlier when I gave her that diet list. She will understand in time that I'm just watching out for her.
I went away from her, forcing myself to. And one thought kept echoing in my brain as I walked away.
I don't have the strength to…stay away from her anymore.
END of Chapter 6