Sports

by WinndSinger

Bella has been shipped off to an all girls school because she's been a very bad girl. Edward is her very dark gym teacher. Why is he so cruel to her ? Very dark and mature storyline here.

7. Chapter 7 - God Damned Snickers

Chapter 7 – God Damned Snickers

Bella POV:

My phone sounded, Lady Gaga singing Shallow.

"In the Shallow – la la la low…", she sang in a low voice, waking me up.

I groaned and groped around, looking for it so I could hit SNOOZE.

I couldn't find it but I just laid there, listening to Bradley Cooper sing:

Tell me somethin', girl

Are you happy in this modern world?

Or do you need more?

Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for?

I'm falling

In all the good times I find myself

Longin' for change

And in the bad times I fear myself"

Right away I saw him…Mr. Cullen….his eyes so cruel…

Then Lady Gaga sang:

"Tell me something, boy

Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?

Or do you need more?

Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?

I'm falling

In all the good times I find myself

Longing for a change

And in the bad times I fear myself

I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in

I'll never meet the ground

Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us

We're far from the shallow now

In the shallow, shallow

In the shallow, shallow

In the shallow, shallow

I jumped up suddenly, my body fully awake. It instantly brought images to my mind…his hand so tight over my mouth, my nipples cold and hard…my wrists breaking trying to get free just to clutch his hair as his mouth assaulted my pussy over and over again…my skin feeling a sharp scissor…the snip as he cut my panties off. I could still feel it ! Terror and lust at the same time. Thrilling.

I jerked my blanket off of me and looked down at my shirt. It was fine. I reached between my legs and found my panties on. But…no…wait…I touched my breasts under my shirt and they felt completely normal, not burned or cold. WHAT ? I almost cried…that was a dream too ? NO ! It couldn't have been, I FELT IT ! I felt all of it ! I looked out my window and saw nothing but the courtyard outside, the sun coming up again. I turned my lamp on and examined myself for marks, dots from where the wax was…anything! But…I found nothing. No…It WAS real. It WAS!

Everything around me though said it was just a dream. And I wanted to die.

I was asleep…and then suddenly he was there, his hands all over me…his mouth on me…his teeth…his breath…drugging me like ecstasy…blurring my mind…awakening my body.

His hands were like marble, smooth but impossibly strong…inescapable and inviting. I didn't want to escape. I was euphoric…my every nerve ending firing as he moved his fingers over me, changing every fiber inside me. I felt tears in my eyes and I didn't stop them. It couldn't have been a dream. I felt so…different now…changed. Stronger…more alive.

I recalled that we were somewhere…somewhere I never was before. It was so dark but I didn't feel afraid because I knew it was him…and I was safe with him. I could see glimpses of his perfect chest but I never saw his face…it was too black all around me. But I didn't need to SEE him…I felt him. I heard him. I smelled him…I touched him. I DID. I remember soft leather under my legs, my ass…my whole body naked and vulnerable to his every whim. I remember my teeth trying to open his jeans…the taste of rough denim so hot and sweet…his smell prompting me further to get what was in there at all costs.

He had leapt up on the leather thing, putting it right in my face, challenging me to get him. I wanted him badly. I'd eat through there if I had to. And then…nothing. He seemed to burst into a mist…then disappeared right before my eyes. Heartless angel…stealing my heart so he would have one. He probably has a vault filled with hearts.

That's usually when my dreams would come to a fucking halt right at the good part. I heard a sob come out of my mouth as I went under my bed, grabbing for my box…it was way back in there…weird. I got it and opened it…and I sniffed, pulling my shirt up, smoothing my hand over my inner thigh. I put my favorite little toy to my skin and clenched my eyes, letting the sharp end pierce just slightly.

I gave out a groan and let my breath out…I could still smell him…and feel his cold skin on mine, his lips….his hot mouth so fucking good at licking me…sucking me…I want him now! A dark voice inside me demanded, GET HIM.

Yea okay. I could picture that now.

"Are you on drugs, Miss Swan ?!", his voice asked, sounding appalled.

"Fuck.", I wiped my eye, letting a tear move down my face. I watched the little bead of blood rise up out of the little prick I just made in my thigh and I felt better….slightly. I touched my finger to the shiny red bead and brought it to my lips, touching it to my tongue. Coppery and thick. It was a dream. Of course it was. I'm so fucked up. Mr. Cullen would never want anyone like me. He's probably with some Olympic Gold medalist or something. That's who he deserves not a fucked up bitch like me.

Again…the things we tell ourselves when we wake up everyday.

By the time I got to Dr. Carlisle's office I was so sad it was pathetic. I didn't seem to have the strength to even fight him as he sweetly invited me in.

"Miss Swan.", he sat at his desk, "I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I think we got off on the wrong foot. Can we please start over again ?"

"Sure.", I just said, flat. That's how I felt. Flat and gray. Something was wrong inside me. I felt like I had been emptied out.

I could feel Mr. Cullen again, taking my face in his hands, kissing me with a violent brute strength.

A tear fell and I quickly wiped it away, hoping he didn't see it.

"Good.", he smiled back at me, "Now…I want to take things slow Miss Swan…we'll go at your pace. Alright ?"

I gave a nod and he looked at me, concerned.

"Are you alright, Miss Swan ?", he asked, his brows lowering over his glistening ice blue eyes.

"I'm sad." , I had no walls up now…I just told the truth.

"I see." , he answered, "Would you like to tell me about it ?"

"Not really.", I took a breath, another tear coming out of my eyes. He offered me a tissue box.

I shook my head, not wanting it. I used my sleeve.

"Oh come on…", he gently probed, "What can it hurt ?"

I broke down then. He was so wonderful and caring that it just came out.

"No one cares about me.", I heard myself whimper, "No one even LIKES me."

My Mom gone, my father who threw me away…Jasper going on with his life…Mr. Cullen, hating me.

I sobbed out loud and a knock tapped on the door. I didn't care.

"Excuse me, Bella.", he went to the door, opening it a crack.

"I'm in the middle of an appointment here.", he said to someone outside.

"Yes, well Cynthia Dixon is standing on a ledge in the auditorium, saying she's going to jump unless you come.", the voice said…a man's voice. His voice. I clamped my mouth shut and listened.

"Oh my God.", Dr. Carlisle rushed out the door, saying, "Miss Swan, I'll be right back, please stay here."

He just dropped me and left.

I sat in my seat and the door opened more…Mr. Cullen was there, in a white t shirt and black shorts, his whistle around his neck. He peeked in and said, "Miss Swan."

"Hi.", I sniffed, wiping my eye, not wanting him to see.

"You don't have to stay here.", he informed, "Come on. Let's take a walk."

"What ?"

"A walk.", he snapped his fingers, "It's like running but slower."

And I smiled.

He gave me a little smile too and I was healed. Just like that.

"What's wrong ?", he asked once we were outside, "Was that guy bothering you ?"

"Always.", I answered, "I hate doctors….shrinks. They get you at your weakest."

"Yea I know.", he answered, walking next to me, "Don't let him get you Miss Swan. Stay strong. Don't let him break your doors down and see your pain. It's yours. No one else's."

"You must think I'm pretty fu—messed up.", I said sadly, hardly able to look at him, especially at his eyes…they were too beautiful for mortals to gaze upon.

"Hey…", he frowned a bit, "Aren't we all ?"

I love you.

"What did you have for breakfast today ?", he asked me suddenly.

"Nothing.", I told the truth.

He smiled. "Good."

He got me a bottle of water and made me drink it all as we talked some more. He really listened and didn't judge me. He was truthful and didn't care if it hurt my feelings. I liked that. He didn't try to make me open up about things. He didn't seem to judge.

"This is awful.", I shuddered, drinking another mouthful of water.

He turned a little strict and said, "Drink it."

"It's totally flavorless.", I complained.

"It's clean.", he corrected, "It's not contaminated with crap and sugar and chemicals. Get used to it. Once all that crap is out of your system you'll taste the water. And you'll like it."

I started to look at his arms and smelling his cologne, I began to drift back into the feelings…the realness of that dream…I felt weak just being this close to him as we sat outside on empty bleachers, looking over the football field. Why is being so nice to me now ?

When it ended too soon, he walked me back to C hall, where my next class was going to be.

"Thanks Mr. Cullen.", I looked down, not wanting to hurt when I caught his eyes again.

"You're welcome Miss Swan.", he put a finger under my chin and tipped my face up to look at him, "Keep your chin up."

There was no one in the world but us. The bell rang and he walked away, the classroom doors all opening and girls all rushing out into the hallway. He didn't look back but my eyes held him until he was around the corner and out of sight. Even then I kept looking.

Edward's POV:

Later, as I walked down the hallway back to the gym, a voice called out to me.

"Mr. Cullen.", he called. I knew it was him but I acted like I didn't hear…he followed me into the empty gym.

"Mr. Cullen…", he caught up with me and I turned, crossing my arms.

"Dr. Carlisle.", I coldly regarded him.

I always hated him but now I hate him more. He had upset Miss Swan and I wanted to rip his arms off for that.

"I uh…found Cynthia Dixon.", he informed.

"Great.", I said, bored.

"She wasn't in the auditorium.", he smiled at me, confused. I could read his thoughts…he thought I was up to something but didn't know what yet. But he knew there was something wrong with me. He just couldn't prove it yet or put a finger on it. But he was always wondering about me.

"Fascinating.", I started to turn away from him.

"Mr. Cullen…", he stopped me, not leaving, "She was fine, Miss Dixon. Why did you do that ? Is something going on ?"

"I did nothing.", I shrugged, "If you misinterpreted my meaning that's your problem."

"I saw you talking to the Swan girl.", he also revealed.

He fancies himself a brilliant investigator. Pulleaassee.

"So ?", I sighed, "You just dumped her in the middle of your office to save the day again. She was upset in case you missed that, Doc."

"Oh and YOU decided to help her huh ?", he asked, trying not to laugh. He thinks he's so superior to me with his fancy college diploma. I have 15 of those from 15 of the top colleges in the world.

"I spoke to her, yes.", I stated, "So what ? I'm her teacher too."

Dr. Carlisle wiped a grin off his face and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at it and wondered how many different ways I could tear it up. I made no effort to hide my repulsion as I stared at his weak, sweaty hand on me. I can see now what Miss Swan is talking about.

"Mr. Cullen.", he said, patronizingly, "I'm a professional psychiatrist. You take care of teaching the girls how to do their jumping jacks and how to run in a circle, the easy stuff. I'll take care of their mental state, their problems…don't trouble yourself with things that are too complicated for you to handle."

I just stared at him, wanting his head on a stick in my front yard.

I could've killed him right there on the spot. I wanted to. But he wasn't the first asshole I encountered.

"Dr. Carlisle..", I smiled and unleashed my wrath on him, "You're using REBT method by Dr. Alan Mills in your group therapy. But you're dealing with adolescents, I think the Allegria method by Dr. Herbert Steinway is much more effective, unless of course, you are dealing with females then you should go with the Granger therapy, established in 1984."

He knew what I said was all true and he felt really stupid now. I could've gone on with more but I think I made my point.

A gym teacher knows more than he does ? Impossible.

He didn't know what to say, he just stammered a little.

"There has been talk, Mr. Cullen.", he said as I was about to walk away, "Not many but a few girls here…they have told me things…things I can't reveal due to doctor patient privilege…but I know some of the things you've done…"

This guy really has a death wish.

"Like what ?", I asked him, calling his bluff. I would've known if some girl here blabbed anything about me.

"Some of your detentions…", he began, "Pretty brutal stuff."

I laughed right in his face.

"I'm a tough teacher.", I stated, "Boo hoo."

"Mr. Cullen.", he said, "I cannot get any of these girls to tell their stories but when I do , I have a feeling you are going to be in very deep trouble."

"I'm horrified.", I said with no concern at all. If stories of my detentions shocked the faculty, wait until they heard what else I've done below school grounds. No girl would dare utter those little tales.

And if they did, I would just compel her to change her story, say she made it up, have her moved to another school…Hell I could even compel Carlisle here to forget he ever knew me ! But this was a little game we've been playing for awhile. It slightly amused me from time to time. Him trying to find out something, me laughing while he failed again and again. A small part of me was a little impressed. He's the only human in this whole entire place that has any inkling that something isn't right about me. But he'll never beat me. Long after he retires and turns to dust I'll be here, taking care of my girls.

"I'll be watching you.", he raised a brow and left, thinking he just made the perfect exit line.

What an asshole.

To tell the truth it was kind of fun having someone challenge me like that. I will play along for awhile. If he really rubs me the wrong way I can kill him then. But for now he can live. Let's see how far he gets. I nearly laughed thinking he was going to investigate me.

Bella's POV:

The rest of the day went by normally. Lunch was especially fun since I couldn't have anything to eat yet, only dinner. I sat there with Alice, crunching ice in my teeth, and drinking the water, remembering how awesome that frozen ice and water tasted in my dream with Mr. Cullen.

Alice was nice enough to have a salad while I starved, dying for a soda or something salty to eat.

"So…she was asking me, "Did you have a boyfriend back home in Forks ?"

I gave a snort of derision and answered, "Definitely not."

"Oh come on, you're so pretty.", she complimented, eating a cucumber slice, "There had to be someone."

"The closest thing I had to it was Jasper.", I offered, "But it's not like that, we're just best friends."

"Why what happened ?"

"We tried to fool around once..", I couldn't believe I was telling her this, "But it didn't go well. We were only 13. He didn't know anything and neither did I."

"Bummer.", she frowned a bit, "Well there's a brother school a mile from here, Ironwood Academy…and the guys there are sweet. They come here or we go there every couple of months for mixers and dances…you'll see. I'll bet you find someone cute."

I made a face and said, "I'm not really into relationships right now."

"Who said relationship ?", Alice asked, "I said you meet guys. We do have our weekends free, you know, we are allowed to date a little. We should totally go on a double date sometime…there's this boy named Samuel…"

I so wasn't into that at all. I liked boys but they always looked at me like a buddy type. And I wasn't really great at the talking to boys thing. I was always nervous and awkward. It never went well.

"No that's okay.", I shook my head, "Not ready for that yet. Thanks though."

"Okay but let me know we could have so much fun—"

The bell rang and we headed to our separate classes. When gym came around, I went to get dressed.

"Miss Hale.", Mr. Cullen's voice was downright evil and I turned, looking at him and Alice. She looked very scared. Is that how I look when he calls me ?

"My office.", he snarled, "Now."

She glanced at me and followed him to his office. I'd never been in there and didn't want to go. I wondered what happened. The door slammed hard.

I got dressed fast as I heard his voice raised in there….I couldn't hear Alice at all. What was he

yelling at ? I couldn't hear the words but it was clear he was pissed off. Very pissed off.

I got out into the gym and almost went up on the wall but I remembered I wasn't in detention, just gym. I sat on the floor and ignored the other girls who quietly sat there, waiting.

Alice finally came out where we sat and looked very upset. I felt so bad for her as she sat down and crossed her legs. Was she trembling ?

Now I was guessing it would be my turn next.

He came out and I almost couldn't breathe. Damn he is fine.

He blew the whistle again, a short blast and we all stood up.

"Push ups. 30. ", he barked out and he took us through our warm up exercises. He looked and sounded mad and I was scared of that. Just when I thought he was being nicer…

I tried my best to do the exercises especially well and when we were done, he blew the whistle twice, "Ladies, time to play. Peters – Libero, Hale, Middle Blocker, Fagan – Setter…"

He was giving them their positions and they each went where he instructed. I tried to remember where I would be when he called my name. Lastly, he added, "Swan – with me."

What's that position ? I was both exhilarated and afraid at once.

The other girls began to play and he came towards me, pointing and grabbing a volleyball out of the large container, "This court."

Behind the other girls volleyball court was another empty one. He walked ahead of me and motioned for me to hurry and follow.

He brought me to the wall and I froze for a second.

"Don't tense up.", he rolled his eyes, "This is gym not detention."

"Sorry.", I felt my face burning.

"Now…", he cleared his throat, facing the wall himself, with the ball in hand, "I want you to do some practice drills. You need to have contact with the ball and see that there's nothing to be afraid of. Once you get familiar with it, you'll relax more. From my mouth to God's ears…"

He began to teach me how to open my hands up, making a triangle with my hands and holding them that way to make a window so I would not miss hitting the ball.

He did it and it seemed so effortless for him to do it so perfectly all the time. I envied that.

"So now we're going to work on our form and setting the ball against the wall…", he kept demonstrating to me, and then handed the ball to me.

"It won't bite.", he added, "Take it."

I took it and he stood back, crossing his arms.

"Toss it up and start Miss Swan.", he watched me as I started to do it.

"Make your window with your hands…", he reminded as I did what he said, "Right. Just light movements, it shouldn't even make a sound…"

He turned once in awhile to watch the other girls playing, shouting, "What is THAT, Miss Harris ?

A sick joke ? Get those arms UP."

Maybe it's not just me he hates. It seems all of us bother him.

"Right Miss Swan...shuffle to get in front of it if it goes astray.", he coached me, "Good. Keep going I'm all aquiver." More sarcasm.

He divided himself between me and the other girls and I felt bad I was doing this to him. He was so nice to me this morning but now he seemed back to the way he was the first day of school. Maybe he's not having a good day. Or a good year.

I dropped the ball and I heard Mr. Cullen sigh but he didn't say anything. He just watched as I ran after the ball and came back, starting again.

"It's going to be a long journey, isn't it, Miss Swan ?" he sounded annoyed.

"I hope not, Mr. Cullen.", I heard myself answer, hitting the ball back and forth again, trying to pay attention to what I was doing. Actually I lied about that. I hope he has to tutor me every day for the next two years. The thought was naughty and I liked having it.

"Hmm.", he replied. What did that mean ? I swear it's like he just read my mind again !

"Good save, Miss Fagan !", he praised that bitch who stepped on my back and I felt angry about that.

"No problem Mr. C.", she said happily. He slowly turned his head back towards her, as a lion would look at a zebra in the distance, and she said, "I mean, Mr. Cullen."

A couple girls giggled at this and he rolled his eyes, moving them slowly back to me.

He had me do this for about ten minutes and I felt like the practice on the wall was good…I really wasn't so scared of the ball this way. It's when someone else hits it to me that I panic.

After that he showed me how to do a pass which is putting your arms together, thumbs together, and getting under the ball, popping it up and to the wall so it comes back and you do it again.

"Readjust when you see where the ball is coming.", he showed me as he did it, "And get in front of it…and get your arms under it…and just lightly bring your arms up….smoothly…like this. Don't jerk your arms up hard like you do…just a little pop up, that's all you need. Understand ?"

He makes it look simple and fun. I could watch him all day doing this. I guess I was drooling over him mentally because he snapped his fingers in my face.

"Alright Miss Swan ?", he looked at me, "You're paying attention ?"

"Yes Mr. Cullen."

"Alright.", he tossed the ball to me and I actually did catch it, "Brava. Begin."

I tossed the ball up to the wall then got my arms together like he showed me and started doing what he said. It wasn't as smoothly as he did it of course but I felt like I was getting a little better and more comfortable with the ball by doing these practices. I did drop the ball a few times but at least I was hitting it now most of the time. I tried not to let him make me nervous but it was very hard.

I remembered how it felt, his hand over my mouth…I felt cold inside thinking it wasn't real. My mouth can still FEEL it…it's crazy but it's true.

"HALE" he barked, "If you miss one more dig I'm coming over there !"

Uh oh. Be careful Alice.

"What did you have for lunch, Swan ?" he asked me suddenly and I jumped, missing the ball and it rolled away. I went to go get it and he muttered something under his breath.

"Miss Swan ?", he raised his brows, waiting for my answer when I came back with the ball.

"Water, Mr. Cullen…and ice.", I said, "Is that alright ?"

He gave a little grin and answered, "Yes, Swan that's acceptable. Continue."

What was that ? Did I say something funny ?

"Don't swing your arms,", he commented, "Just let it come to you….wait for it to hit your arms and just move your arms up a bit…that's right. Angle your arms sideways if that's where it's going. Good Miss Swan. Keep practicing that."

Before I knew it the bell rang but no one moved to leave until he blew the whistle and said, "Dismissed."

"Swan.", he called me. I was getting used to this. He was close to me already so I caught the ball I was using and asked, "Yes Mr. Cullen ?"

"What time is detention ?", he reminded.

"Three o clock ?", I stated.

"Are you asking me or telling me ?", he asked strictly.

"Telling you.", I chose instantly.

"And we're bringing ?" he put a hand to his ear.

"Myself and my book…", I replied and he gave a sarcastic nod, "And my notes."

"Yes. Very good.", he didn't smile at me this time, "See you then Swan."

"See ya.", I went to leave, "Have a nice day." Was that too casual of a sentence ? Have a nice day ? What's wrong with me ?

"Enjoy those ice cubes.", he said as he walked towards his office, stopping me dead in my tracks.

When I got back to the locker room Alice was there, and she gave me a big smile.

"Hi Bella.", she greeted me warmly as usual, "How's life ?"

"Uh good I guess.", I shrugged, not knowing how to answer that one, "Are YOU okay ?"

"Yea why ?"

"I saw Mr. Cullen call you into his office.", I said as if it were obvious, "Did you get detention too ?"

It might be nice to have someone else in there besides just me.

"Uh no.", she looked confused, "Umm he just wanted me to finish my emergency contacts card."

I looked at her in disbelief. That's weird. That's an office thing not a gym class thing. And why would he yell at her for it like that ? I got the message : none of my business. I understood. I didn't want to talk about my encounters with Mr. Cullen either.

"Hey you wanna do homework together later ?", she asked me, I'll bring some snacks and we can talk some more."

Snacks. Remember those ? God damn it I'm hungry. My stomach's been growling all day long. Every quiet moment in class I heard it complaining. One teacher gave me a stick of gum so it would stop. I almost chewed it but I was too afraid to. I stuck it in my purse and just said thank you.

"No snacks.", I reminded her, "Unless it's something fucking awful like kale pops…"

"Oh yea sorry I forgot.", she looked sorry, "But we can still hang, right ?"

"Yea sure.", I nodded, "I'm in the Ivy House, top floor."

"I know.", she said, "I mean…yea, good. Okay see you later then. Happy detention later !"

She's so happy all the time. Why ? Happy detention. Now that's a sick joke.

I didn't know what to do about my group therapy class, the last class of the day before detention. I was half way on my way there and thought of Dr. Carlisle. I didn't want to go so I turned around and just walked as far away as I could from his side of the building. I tried to find the library but that seemed too difficult. Maybe later.

Without realizing it, I found myself back near the gym areas. I even changed into my gym clothes. Well I had to be here in 45 minutes anyway so if nothing else I'd be real early today. I looked in, seeing girls playing basketball. I didn't see Mr. Cullen but I didn't look very long, not wanting him to spot ME.

I sat outside the gym in the hallway and took out my notebook, looking over my questions I had written down for him. I thought they were all pretty good ones, not too stupid, although to him I'm sure they would be.

The whistle blew hard and long and all the sounds of dribbling and playing ceased. "Sit.", I heard his voice, "Listen."

I got a little chill listening to him being this way to others besides me.

"Every offensive coach tells their team – penetrate against the zone…and pitch", he began, his voice so authoritative and knowledgeable, "So now we're going to work overtime on how do we stop penetration ?"

I stifled a laugh and muttered to myself, "Don't."

It hasn't really been a big problem for ME yet, I snickered internally.

His voice paused a moment and I froze. He didn't hear that did he ? He couldn't have.

"First thing we do is we overload the body balance and the footwork.", he went on, talking in Japanese again. I had no idea what the hell he was saying but it sounded great.

"So when we push 55 all the way down to this court…", he snapped his fingers and I could hear a couple girls jump up and jog over to where he was, "She flips her the ball - NOW – she breaks her down, she cuts her in half. Now when Miss Tather looks at her opponent, she will ask herself is she right handed or is she left handed. In this case, the player is left handed so immediately she'll put her right foot up and look how she's digging, see ? She made her turn away from her. This is her drag hand, she's not gonna let her cross back on her. "

Fuck. I'm never gonna learn this shit. Mr. Cullen is going to destroy my ass. I thought about him with the balloon and now I felt really stupid. Listen to this guy go on and on…he's really smart ! He knows everything! And I know nothing.

"But now we're going to make the drill harder, we're overloading it…", he instructed, "Number 22, here is going to dribble the ball, get your nose in it…right…nose in ! And turn her back the other way. "

He said a few more things I didn't understand but still I loved listening. I shuddered, thinking of the day he would be telling ME this stuff. Would I really understand it someday ?

"When you change directions, ", he taught on, "ACCELERATE ! Pick a point. Push her to the blue!"

"Go ahead…", he said and I heard sneakers moving, a ball dribbling, "There she goes ! She's got her UNDER CONTROL, she's forcing her on ! Good! Come back, again. Good job."

Mmmm I love hearing him raise his voice like that and the way he yelled under control…yummy.

I was doodling in another part of my notebook, not thinking, just waiting.

A few minutes later, they were playing ball again and I didn't hear him much at all.

Bummer.

At the end of class he was saying, "Tryouts are in two weeks, you better improve a lot if you want to stay on the team.", he was so hard in his voice, "Colleges will be coming here to find the best players. Work hard."

"Dismissed.", he sounded short with them but didn't he always ?

"Come in here, Miss Swan.", he said without even coming out into the hallway. How'd he know I was here ?

I got up and stood in the doorway. He was standing there, hands on his hips, looking at me in a way that should've been illegal.

I swallowed and gave a weak grin.

"Hi.", I chirped out.

With a huff, he looked away slightly and repeated, "Hi."

Then right away, "What are you DOING out there ?"

"Um…", I cleared my throat, "Working on my notes."

He raised a brow. "Now ?"

"Oh no.", I explained, "I did them last night. But I was just going over them…"

He put a hand up, silencing me, then motioned me forward with his first two fingers.

It was like approaching a dark Lord with the power to turn me to dust.

He held out his hand and I put my notebook out for him to take it.

He opened it and flipped pages, looking for my notes.

"Sorry…it's…there.", I came over and turned it to the right page. He just turned his mean eyes to mine and silently told me to back away. I did.

He looked over them and didn't say anything for a minute. This made me real nervous. He was good at that, making one nervous with the silence. I have to try that sometime. Not with HIM, with someone else. Charlie maybe.

"Why aren't you in class ?", he asked me, not taking his eyes off my book.

"I am.", I said.

"You're part of my basketball team ?", he asked me, looking down at me like I had just peed on the carpet. The thought of that almost made me laugh.

"Not this class.", I said, "Detention."

He looked impatient now, looking up.

"Detention is 3 pm.", he droned off, "Your class as 2:15pm is group therapy. Correct ?"

I'm dead.

"Yes.", I looked down.

"Why aren't you there ?", he held my notebook to his chest, arms over it. Lucky notebook.

I tried to think up a good reason.

"Cutting class carries a penalty of one day of labor at the horse farm.", he stated, "And while you might think horses are cute and all, a whole Saturday spent cleaning horse shit is not the ideal weekend."

"Well I didn't know…", I tried to struggle out of this, "Dr. Carlisle told me I would be seeing him in private so I thought I wasn't in group anymore."

Hey that sounded good.

"Then you go to Dr. Carlisle and ASK him where you belong from 2:15 to 3pm.", he talked like I was stupid again, "You do not ditch and sit outside MY class, eavesdropping and making crude remarks. Is that—"

"I didn't make any crude remarks !", I lied right to his face, feeling mortified.

"Is that clear ?", he finished, his eyes closing a second, I was getting on his nerves. He did not like to be argued with.

'Yes.", I pouted, looking at my fingers. I felt like a little child.

"I hear everything that goes on in my class Miss Swan.", he revealed calmly, "When you do not belong, don't be there. Frankly you plague my day enough for the 45 minutes I already have you. Plus detention."

I felt tears come to my eyes and I fought them hard.

"Don't start that little girl crap either.", he stopped me right there, "Grow up Miss Swan."

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I swallowed my hurt and tried to be tough.

He hates me. I'm just a dork who's following him around like a puppy. I hate myself.

"On the wall.", he stood there, not moving, waiting for me to move away from him like I stunk or something.

I went, putting my hands on the floor and it took me a few attempts again to get my feet to stay on the wall…I felt so humiliated him watching me do this as always.

After a long moment, he began to turn and come towards me…his feet approaching slowly.

"I will keep this little matter between you and I Miss Swan.", he revealed, "This time. If it happens again, it's the horse farm."

"Thank you Mr. Cullen.", I breathed, my arms already throbbing.

"Don't thank me, " he said firmly, "This is no favor. I just can't look at Dr. Carlisle again today, as much as I'd love to turn you in and have you at his mercy."

"Yes.", was all I could think of to say.

"School is important.", he said, a tiny bit softer now, "Education is important. Respecting your teachers, even Carlisle, is important. Don't you agree , Miss Swan ?"

I was stupid but I said, "I think respect has to be earned, Mr. Cullen."

"Ah…", he sounded a little impressed, "Touche, Swan."

"So you don't respect Dr. Carlisle ?", he asked a moment later.

"I don't really know him.", I took another hard breath, "I see he's trying to help but…I don't want his help."

"Why not ?" he sounded curious.

"Because I'm not broken.", I said clearly and defiantly, liking how I felt when I did. It was a lie. I AM broken…no…more than broken. Broken implies that I worked well once. I never did. I was born fucked up. And broken implies that I can be fixed. That's not possible, either. I'm not broken…just…bad.

"Well said, Miss Swan.", his voice was different now. Not kind or sweet but…

"I think you've just earned my respect.", he said and I fell on the floor.

I heard him go TSK and he took a breath.

"But there are still a million miles to go…", he sighed.

"Alright up.", he said about fifteen minutes later, "Let's get this little filly trained."

"Question one", he opened my book and read it aloud, "What does it mean to serve with a dominant hand ?"

I turned hot inside at his speaking the words trained and dominant. I felt his hand on my mouth…the ice…his lips…the blindfold, the leather cuffs.

He motioned me over to him like I was a little girl and I came. He went in the closet and brought out the basket on wheels full of volleyballs. I peeked in there, wondering if I would see Miss Nickles. That's the last place I had seen her. She wasn't there. Of course she wasn't.

We were at the volleyball court area now, the net looking down over me with evil eyes.

"Where's the setter position ?", he quizzed me, almost close to me again.

"Here?", I pointed to the number one spot, the back row on the right side.

"Correct.", he replied without any surprise, "Go there."

I went to the spot and he joined me.

"As our favorite book said,", he gave me a smirk, standing beside me, a ball in his hand, "The float serve…is the best way to attack your opponent."

I watched and I guess made a confused face because he said, "Translated – you want to get the person on the other side of the net to miss."

He eyed me and gave a little smirk as I nodded.

"You will throw the ball up", he demonstrated as he spoke, "Use an open hand, high elbow, wrist behind your head and shoulder, keep your wrist tight, hit with your palm, lift it up, and follow through all the way past your hip."

He made an excellent serve. Now boys and girls, we'll see how NOT to do it.

Taking a new ball, he tossed it to me and I managed to catch it.

He talked me through it as I tossed it up like he had, then gave a jump up and hit it with all my might.

It did go over the net but it wasn't that great. But it was further than I'd ever served it before today.

"Okay, okay.", he nodded, coming up behind me, "Not bad. Don't jump straight up."

He was touching me again, turning me by the waist and moving my feet with his sneaker, placing me into the right position once more.

"You want to take three or four steps…left…right…left…", he showed me slowly, his own legs taking the steps. Your question about the dominant hand – your dominant hand is the stronger hand. Usually it's your writing hand but sometimes it's the other. Let's test it. "

And so he began teaching me how to serve correctly. He was actually very fair, patient (most of the time), and full of information. And he really was translating the sports jargon into English for me. I found myself trying very hard, hoping someday I would be good enough that he would say "Good save, Swan!", to me like he did to the Fagan bitch earlier. I wanted so much to earn his respect for real. To have him be proud of me.

He had answered every question I wrote down in my book and a few I didn't even ask. He gave me some "secret tips" as he called them and I really liked him for that. In a couple hours, I was serving a lot better. Not amazing but…I could do it better now.

"It's alright Miss Swan.", he assured me, "You will improve, in time. Rome wasn't built in a day."

And for a little while, I wasn't daydreaming about his mouth and tongue and hands on me…I was really learning. No gym teacher ever took the time to teach me everything from step one before. I had to give him points for that.

"You're already a lot better than earlier this week.", he stood there, watching me serve the ball again. That's all we were doing, serving the ball…over and over again. Then he would teach me about reading the players on the other side, finding the "Miss Swan" on that opponent team. He smiled as he said that and apologized right away for teasing me. I didn't mind. I knew I stunk.

I told him so and he said, "No, you DID stink. That Miss Swan won't be playing in my court again, will she ?"

I shook my head no at him and that made him smile at me. A gorgeous, crooked smile I never saw before. A real smile. Damn. It was like seeing the sun for the very first time.

He looked at the clock and saw it was almost 6pm.

"That should be fine for today, Miss Swan.", he said, "Good work, we covered a lot of ground."

I nodded and smiled up at him.

"How do YOU feel about it, Swan ?", he asked, resting his hands on his hips, "Did I answer all your questions there ?"

I love that he wants to know what I think, if he did his job right by me. He didn't have to.

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I answered, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome.", he answered, his expression now so teacherly, not like before. He looked at me like I was a little girl. I hated that. But I understood it. This is what we were. Teacher. Student. This is all we would ever be.

"No I mean…", I said, "Thank you…for going out of your way for me. I know there are other things you'd rather be doing. I appreciate you giving me your time. Really. "

"Well thank YOU, Miss Swan.", he said with fatherly affection, "That's very nice."

"I can't say I'm gonna be great at sports or volleyball…", I said aloud, "But I promise I will try hard not to let you down."

I wanted to also apologize for the remark I made earlier that he'd heard but I was too chicken shit to.

"You won't let me down.", he stated like a fact, "That is not an option."

Oh. Gym teacher is back.

"Okay.", I said.

"Read through the next five chapters of THE BOOK", he joked with the last two words, "Make notes again, questions. Tomorrow we will do more of the same."

"Yes Mr. Cullen."

"And no more cutting class.", he pointed at me, his eyes wider, "Even group therapy has its…moments. Skipping your therapy is also not an option. Got it ?"

"Yes.", I liked that he wasn't ratting on me. This time.

I'll be a good girl for you Mr. Cullen. Only for you.

"Gather all the balls, put them in the closet, and then have a good dinner.", he had a pleasant look on his face.

"Okay Mr. Cullen.", I agreed, watching him leave, back towards his office.

I did what I was told and changed my clothes in the locker room. It was a little creepy being in here alone, the sky getting dark outside. I never felt alone in here though and that gave me a chill.

I went to dinner and found Alice there. She helped me find something to eat from my list.

"I'm fucking starving.", I shared, tearing quickly into my little piece of steak. I wish I could've had steak sauce but it wasn't on the list. Damn.

She smiled as I got a big bite and went MMMMMM, closing my eyes. It was my one meal today and it was amazing. I can see why they did this one meal a day thing now: anything you eat after waiting 23 hours would be wonderful.

"I miss my soda so bad.", I further shared, "This water thing is killing me."

"It'll get better.", she encouraged.

I didn't believe her. I was stuck in this place, as pretty as it seemed on the outside, I knew it for what it was : a prison…a place where Charlie could stick me and forget about me. He didn't even call again since the first day of school. He's probably glad I'm not around anymore. Fuck you Charlie.

I really liked Alice but she was so perky and nice all the time. I craved the bad kids, the troublemakers…the weird and outcast…like me. The girl who would say, "Fuck that gym teacher, have a soda if you want one !" That's what Jasper would say.

They were my people and I had some good friends like that in Forks. I missed Jasper's twisted fantasies…Maya's nasty thoughts about men…she was my best girlfriend. She introduced me to porn, how to get past the age requirements to see some cool shit. She taught me to pick locks and how to shoplift. She was badass. And so was I when I was with her. She encouraged my dark side to come out.

And my father stole them away from me…stole ME…the me I wanted to be. I know it's only a week in but I hate it here. I want to go home. I want to dye my hair black and put my black eyeliner on, paint my nails ebony and have my clothes. I wanted to pierce my tongue and lip again. I want to smoke. I want to drink. I want to get high. I wasn't allowed to do any of that here. They wanted me to be gray. They stole my colors.

And I FELT gray.

I wished I could get out of hanging out with Alice tonight. I just wanted to call Jasper…but even that seemed like it would be hard. I wasn't in his life anymore and he wasn't in mine. Soon we would drift apart. I felt like I was losing my brother. I was dying to cut myself again but Alice would be there. Oh fuck it….maybe I would do it right in front of her. If she couldn't be bad like me…maybe I could teach her like Maya taught me. Maybe. She might narc on me but what if she did ? They would punish me or send me home. Either way I didn't really care.

But then I thought of Mr. Cullen…and I DID care. I cared a lot. It would hurt to leave now. I would miss him, in a weird way.

I got to my room, avoiding all the girls around in the common room. They were watching Say Yes to the Dress, if you can imagine. Nope. They're not my people. Where are they all hiding ?

Before Alice got there, I decided to start writing again. I hadn't written a word since I got here and I didn't feel like me without doing it.

I sat there on my bed for a minute, staring at the blank page. Inspiration always came to me when I wanted her and I was grateful for that. Pain makes for great poetry and stories and I had plenty of that.

My fingers started to move almost as if I wasn't in control of them.

Dark Lord…I lay upon the wall, spread eagle…placing myself in pain's palm for your pleasure….I don't care if I BLEED….I will bleed if you command me. I will kneel. I will kill.

That last line the school would love if they found this. Screw them I'm not watering down my writing for anyone.

You pull my strings and like a puppet I obey. I want to dance the way you desire. It hurts and heals to be bound in your strings. I will dance. And I hate to dance.

Your eyes are so cruel.

But in them I find my place. My happy dungeon, my angry prince…come and play with me. Please.

"Knock knock", Alice called and I jumped, putting my notebook under my mattress just for now. I'd find a better hiding place later.

I went and opened the door, putting on my smile.

"Hey Alice.", I watched as she came in, still wearing her uniform like I was.

She was holding her books in her hand and a backpack over one arm.

At first, it was a normal homework doing thing. We talked about our days and soon she got around to my detention again.

"So…", she asked, "What does he DO to you in detention ?"

"Nothing bad.", I shrugged, "We jogged outside the school the other day…today was good though he is starting to teach me volleyball. I actually hit the ball almost every time, which is big for me."

She laughed and wondered out loud, "And you're all alone with him ?"

"Yea.", I knew what she meant.

"He scares the shit outta me.", she shivered, "But he's totally gorgeous, don't you think ?"

"Duh.", I felt myself relax a little, feeling good to admit that at least, "Yes, I have eyes. He's so smart too. God, what's he doing trapped here ?"

"Bella, this is the best all girl's school in the country.", she pointed out, "That's what my fucking mother says anyway."

HEY! Alright Alice….maybe we CAN be friends after all.

"She's a bitch, isn't she ?", I dared to ask and we both laughed.

"Completely and utterly.", Alice agreed, giggling, "Fuck I hate her."

"Did you ever hit her ?", I asked, hoping to get deeper into her inner badness.

"No.", she admitted sadly, "But I only dreamed of it a million times."

She asked, "Did you hit your mom ?"

I frowned before I wanted to.

"No my Dad is the asshole of MY family.", I scribbled in my Spanish notebook, "He's a cop. But not a smart one…a stupid one. And I think he's fucking corrupt too. I have no evidence but I think he takes bribes."

"Cool!", Alice gasped and we laughed again, "Did he ever kill anyone ?"

"Yea.", I looked at my empty notebook, "My mom."

She didn't press any further on that statement and I was glad. We started to play our favorite songs. I played some Marilyn Manson, my king. And she played me some Ed Sheeran and Hozier.

"I love Hozier.", I agreed and we discussed our favorite lyrics.

Soon we were really bonding. I was wrong about Alice. She's cool. I could totally see her hanging out with me and Jazz. He would love her. She has that jet black hair and white fair skin.

"I would love to do your makeup sometime.", I had said to her later, "You have the face of a goth princess."

"Really ?", she asked innocently.

I told her more about Jazz and how we would sneak out at night and break into houses sometimes to get a little money. Jazz even bought a guitar with his money once. We got caught of course but it was so worth it. It was so exciting.

She thought I was cool, she said. I'll bet she never broke a rule in her life. Maybe it would be fun to teach her the ropes.

"Is your hair naturally black like that ?", I felt comfortable enough to ask her later that night.

"Yea why ?"

"It's so beautiful.", I envied her, "I used to have black hair, I loved it."

"You colored it ?", she asked.

"Yea.", I smiled, "Cheap crap hair dye but it looked cool. And I loved doing one strand like a purple or red….hot pink…I miss my hair dye…and my makeup. I feel so naked without it."

"And your cut is incredible.", I admired it.

"Thanks.", she looked a little sad, "I used to have real long hair. It was great."

"Why'd you cut it then ?" I asked her.

"Someone…", she took a little breath, "Someone told me to cut it."

She looked like she was going to be sick.

"Who ?", I asked, "Your mom ?"

"No.", she cleared her throat, then her whole face changed, "Hey I brought you a surprise."

She danced over to her backpack and tossed it on the bed, opening it.

"You just looked too sad today.", she said, taking a snickers bar out of her bag and tossing it to me.

"Oh my God Alllicce.", I held it like a miniature baby, and I inhaled the smell of it through the wrapper, "My baby, I've missed you."

"You're welcome.", she giggled.

"Get that shit away from me.", I tossed it back to her, "You trying to get me fucked ?"

"Yea but what a way to go.", she laughed, throwing it back to me.

"True.", I conceded that, "But no. He'll kill me."

"Bella, he's a teacher.", she reminded, "What can he do ?"

"Do I want to find out ?", I gave her a gaze of dread.

"Forget it.", she took the candy bar from me, "I thought you were all bad and Miss Breaker of the rules. But I guess that's all talk."

"I hate you.", I teased and ripped the paper off the candy bar…and bit into it hard and pulled that caramel as far as it would go. He would never know I ate this.

"Ohhh fuck soooo gooood.", I moaned as I slowly chewed it.

Alice looked at me for a moment like she was afraid…and then her face changed to a proud one.

"You go girl.", she approved as I went on to eat the whole thing.

The minute I was done I could see his face, his eye twitch as he stared daggers at me, burning into my soul. I felt his fingers pinching my waist again and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Miss Swan…", he said in my mind, "What did you eat last night ?"

I wished I could puke it up but I didn't. All I needed was to have an eating disorder now.

It wasn't long before Alice had to go to make curfew. I had to admit I liked hanging out with her. She has potential.

I really didn't want to get her into trouble but I wanted to rebel. I wanted to scream and kick and rage. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to sadly accept it and lay down, defeated. That's not me. But then the last time I raged it was one too many. And Charlie threw me away.

I tried to go back to my poem but I couldn't. I kept seeing him angry with me, him hating me again when he had been so cool with me in detention today. I felt tears wanting to come but they didn't.

I am so sorry. Mr. Cullen. I told him I wouldn't let him down. Fuck !

It didn't seem like enough. But that's all I had.

Instead of my writing, I took out that crappy volleyball book and started to make my notes for the next sucky five chapters. At least I would have my homework done. And hey…he didn't have to know that I ate a snickers. I wasn't going to tell him. He wouldn't find out.

God every sentence makes no sense. I wrote a book of notes before I looked at my phone, seeing it was 11:13pm. No calls or texts from Jazz or Maya. None from anyone.

I brushed my teeth and all evidence of chocolate, caramel, and peanuts from my teeth and sat on my bed, wanting to write a little bit more. My Marilyn playing in the background for inspiration.

I have disobeyed you, my strict captor…and I deserve to be punished with your fury.

"Shit.", I muttered and closed my notebook, putting it in backpack for tomorrow. My other homework was done long ago. I laid there, the candy laying there in my intestines, laughing at me, knowing it was going to be discovered.

I felt him pinch my stomach and I leapt out of bed, rushing to the bathroom. No one was around, most of the lights were already off for the night.

I stuck my fingers down my throat and pushed. Once, twice…

"Come on.", I tried again….and I gagged….and brown liquid and chunks came out, landing in the clean water below my face. I spit and vomited some more up…feeling better already. I hate puking. It's even worse when you drink or do coke. But it's worth it for that. This was just for a snickers bar.

I know it didn't make it right that I ate it. But I felt a big weight lift off my shoulders.

I brushed my teeth and mouth washed, then went back to my room. Laying down, I switched my light off and closed my eyes, one leg kicking its way out from under the covers. I opened my window, loving the coldness of the September night air. In my head a piece of my favorite poetry was talking to me :

There are cemeteries that are lonely,

graves full of bones that do not make a sound,

the heart moving through a tunnel,

in it darkness, darkness, darkness,

like a shipwreck we die going into ourselves,

as though we were drowning inside our hearts,

as though we lived falling out of the skin into the soul.

I let the words strut inside my head as I fell asleep, praying Hectate would find it in her heart to see me through another day tomorrow. I would need her.

For awhile everything was peaceful and blank...then it happened.

"Get up your filthy little whore!", a very loud voice was shouting and a very strong vice clamped around my throat, cutting off my air.

I gasped, trying to open my eyes but I could see nothing. There was no desk, no bed, no window…no room anymore.

I felt thrown suddenly and as I landed on a hard scratchy surface, fingers dug into my hair, dragging me as my legs kicked and my hands tried to grab whatever had hold of me.

"You don't deserve to SLEEP.", his voice was behind me and it echoed all around me.

I tried to cry out but I couldn't breathe…I was so scared I felt paralyzed…both mentally and physically.

"I was kind to you.", his voice sneered in the void close to my face, "That was a mistake."

"Nooo.", was all I could whimper, my stomach feeling empty and twisted.

"There is no such thing as special.", he was talking to himself, "There is no such thing as kind. We are not kind. We are selfish. And we are brutal. Everything else is bullshit."

"And you thought you were SAD today.", his voice kept raging, "Wait until tomorrow you won't be able to WALK!"

I was about to open my mouth but his hand was back, clamping it down tight…but also this time, my nose too.

"Do you deserve air ?", his voice lowered at a dangerous depth, "Hmm? Lie and tell me you deserve it slut. Beg me for a little…come on…"

I really couldn't breathe at all and I tried to hold on but he didn't release me. I grabbed at his hands, even clawed them a little but he was like rock.

Finally his hand released me in one swift motion and I gagged, coughing and gasping a little.

"That's enough.", he decided and covered my face again, his hand so big and like smooth cement.

"RRRRRR", I tried to make some noise but that made me feel worse.

"Use all your oxygen you stupid bitch.", he seethed, "Shut up. Shut up."

I made myself be quiet. I felt light headed.

"It doesn't matter. Scream. No one can hear you.", his voice was so frightening but it was him, I knew that. His smell was still glorious but somehow different, something else added into it. I still couldn't see shit not even shadows but I could feel his arms, his leg next to mine on the ground, as if he was straddled over me. Is this a dream ? A nightmare ? I never heard his voice THIS loud or full of rage before. It made me feel ill inside.

He let go again and I gulped up the air greedily…I uselessly fought the stone arms that had me…and a hand curled around my entire neck, gently squeezing.

"You belong to me tonight, don't you ?" his lips brushed my ear as he hissed into it.

"Yes…", I choked a bit, finding my frail voice.

"Yes Sir.", his voice corrected, a light slap striking my cheek.

"Yes Sir.", I repeated, trembling.

"And just so we have it real FUCKING crystal clear…you will do everything I say to the letter. For once.", he demanded, "Understood ?"

"Yes Sir.", I said meekly.

"LOUDER.", he slapped my face again a bit harder.

"YES SIR", I cried out.

"And you're going to do it willingly, aren't you ?" his voice was a tad calmer now.

"Yes Sir.", I made sure to be loud and clear with my words now.

"And you're going to do it happily…", his other hand moved down over my t shirt.

"Yes Sir.", I tried to sound braver.

He clutched at the soft fabric around my breasts and asked, "Because why ?"

"Because I want you, Sir.", I said without thinking.

His fist was more tense in my shirt now and his voice turned deadly again.

"Because you want to please ME - I don't give a FUCK what YOU want.", he said, displeased.

"Yes Sir…" I shivered, "I want to please you Sir."

I was fucking up badly. Damn. This is a HOT dream. Violent but hot.

"Hmm…", he nodded, his face against my cheek, he was so close and his breath so hot on my face, "That's the title of this book. And we're going to read the whole fucking thing."

"Let me please you Sir…", I whispered, a tear in my eye as I pleaded for his voice to be sweet again.

"Oh you will…", he gave my throat a little squeeze, and I felt my shirt ripping as he tugged without care on it, "Trust me. You WILL."

I felt my breasts now, exposed and very cold as my shirt hung on my arms.

"Mmm", his voice purred wickedly as his hands slowly examined each breast, touching…SLAP!

The sound cracked in the air as he slapped my right breast very roughly. I panted out, unashamed, feeling him push me against a hard wet wall. SLAP ! The left breast was struck now with the same force and I yelped out, the pain harsh and dark red in my blind eyes.

"Thank you, Sir.", I heard my voice come back, not sounding very strong.

"You're off to a good start.", he commented, moving my hair out of the way as he kept touching my body.

Again he slapped my breasts and I felt a tear move down my face. Then I felt his teeth bite down on my left nipple. He clamped his teeth down firmly, pulling away from me as I cried out a little, gasping over and over again, trying not to scream. Then he released that nipple and went to the other…taking another very tight grip with his teeth, holding my nipple and pulling it out farther. It felt like it might tear off as I whimpered without words.

"Turn around.", he said suddenly, his voice annoyed as he spun my body around, facing the wall now, my face against it.

His hands were on my ass now, over my panties. He clutched the meat there and squeezed, first one cheek then the other….as if inspecting it…testing it.

I felt his fingernails, not long but very sharp as he put them against my lower leg and slowly clawed upwards, not drawing blood but I felt lines carving up against my skin. It was painful and frightening.

I made a little sound of fright and distress as he repeated this on the back of my other leg.

Then his hand slammed violently against my right ass cheek. I squeaked loudly and leapt up a bit, feeling more tears welling up in my eyes.

"Spare the rod, spoil the child…", he quoted, his palms spanking me like I was a brat that had misbehaved. One, two, three, four slaps on my left ass cheek then faster slaps on the other. My ass was hurting so bad but I dared not struggle. I did, however, give a pretty loud shriek.

"What a nice shade of red.", he moved his cold fingers over the burning flesh there.

"Thank you Sir.", I said, hoping it would soften him a little.

No chance.

He spun me around and I still couldn't see shit. But he held my neck again and his other hand went back to the work of slapping my breasts, over and over…one then the other then back again. He did this for a few moments and I nearly screamed, pleading for him to stop. But I just gasped and groaned as he took his time.

"Thank you Sir, thank you.", I said quickly, wishing he would stop. But my body was on fire everywhere…my underwear felt so wet.

These were not light playful slaps…he was angry with me and I felt that in each slap.

"Open. Your Mouth.", he said it slowly and distinctly, one hand now grabbing my hair.

I opened it without any trouble.

"Wider.", he coaxed almost playfully now.

I widened it as far apart as it would go. I clenched my eyes for a second and waited. He didn't say anything but his grip on my neck grew slowly tighter. In seconds I was unable to speak or breathe…or even scream. I almost got dizzy as my head bowed a little forward.

I was making a coarse gagging sound and he let me go, his hand tapping my face again three times in a row, as if to wake me up.

His icy hand grabbed my cheeks and forced my mouth into a hole.

"Open.", he repeated calmly and I complied, opening big again.

He began to shove his fingers inside, then roughly pushed my hair away from my face, trying again, all four fingers moving without care in and out, against my tongue, back towards my throat.

"Oooh.", he purred as I gagged a bit. But his fingers remained, moving back then forward to the back again.

I gagged harder now and he withdrew his fingers. My tongue was out and he rubbed his fingers around it and over my mouth, over my face, slapping my cheek a few more times.

I kept my tongue hanging out, panting as he asked, "You'd like to have my cock in your mouth, wouldn't you ?"

"Yes Sir.", I answered fast, no thought needed there. And I let my tongue hang back out there, wanting to get back in his good graces again.

"Why ?", his voice asked, curiously, his nose nuzzling up and down over my face.

"Because I want to suck your cock Sir—" I heard myself saying.

But he cut me off and sounded pissed again, "NO!"

He slapped my face a couple more times because I had fucked up again.

"To PLEASE ME.", he corrected as I said it along with him, trying to fix my mistake.

"To please you Sir.", I repeated. Shit ! I should've known that one.

He sighed and his fingers made my head shake no.

Tsk tsk tsk…he sounded frustrated with me but what else is new ?

He pulled my face back and touched the corner of my eye.

"Aww…", he sounded sympathetic for a second, "Are those little tears I see coming out of your eyes?"

I guess he can see me just fine. I am blind, I can't see SHIT !

"Yes Sir, I'm sorry Sir.", I blinked.

"Don't be sorry.", he said with a deep voice, "I don't care WHY they're there…as long as they are."

A moment passed in silence and he asked, "You know you're in deep trouble, don't you ?"

"Yes Sir."

"That's right, yes Sir…", he confirmed, "Tell me why. I want to hear you say it, slut."

"I ate the candy, Sir.", I said it without tears, knowing I did something wrong. I was willing to admit my mistakes…and pay for them. The price of this was scaring the shit out of me.

"What candy ?", he asked, knowing damn well what candy. He was toying with me.

"A snickers bar.", I admitted.

"Mmm.", he agreed, his grip in my hair more harsh, "The whole thing ? Not even just a bite or two ?"

"The whole thing.", I felt tears coming now again.

"Fucking little pig.", he sounded so disappointed as he spoke, "Is that on the list ?"

"No Sir.", I replied.

"Then why did you put that in your fucking mouth ?", he scowled, giving my head a jerk with his hand.

"I don't know Sir.", I squeaked, "I was bad Sir."

"Yes you certainly are.", he gave my breast another harder slap as I cried out.

"What do you have to say for yourself before I punish you ?", he asked.

"I'm so sorry Sir.", I breathed, "I shouldn't have done it. But I'll do whatever you say from now on. I want you to punish me Sir."

I almost told him how I vomited it out but didn't want to further piss him off with excuses.

"Rephrase that.", he said calmly, his finger moving along the edge of my nipple.

Shit I messed up again.

"Please punish me if it pleases you, Sir." I tried.

"Better."

He let go of my neck and hair and I was alone on the wall for a second…in the blackness. I did not try to move or run away…I was blind for one thing…and I didn't WANT to go away from him, even if he was about to hurt me. I was already his.

His fingers were there in a couple seconds and he roughly pulled the torn sleeves off my arms…then I felt his hands roughly pull my panties down to my ankles.

"Step out.", he ordered impatiently, "Let's go…"

I tried to do that but I nearly fell over, my feet getting stuck.

"I have to do everything for you…", he muttered as he helped my feet out.

"Turn around.", he shoved me and I nearly fell but he caught me and took my hair in his hand, in a big ponytail in his fist.

He yanked my head back and he was behind me.

"I didn't hear you fucking answer me.", he pointed out, another slap against my breast.

"Yes Sir !", I said loudly, "Sorry Sir."

"Don't let it fucking happen again. You understand me ?"

"Sorry Sir… yes Sir !", I clenched my eyes and wondered what he was going to do to me.

I was completely naked now and completely defenseless as he shoved me to the ground. I could feel little rocks and dust as he pushed me with his foot forward.

"Crawl little slut.", he said quietly as I moved on hands and knees as fast as I could, groping around me, feeling as I moved.

Finally his hand was in my hair again and he lifted me to my bare feet.

"Turn.", he demanded and spun me around, "Sit."

I felt myself sitting, my arms out in fear as I felt a metal surface beneath my ass. It was so cold I cried out a bit, trying to silence myself.

"Open those legs." He instructed, "Hands behind your head."

I did what he said and felt an icy wind blow around me as if the very air was enjoying the show.

I could feel smooth wood under my knees and then I heard him sliding something over my knees. I heard wood hitting wood and felt a board of some kind over my legs, my knees not having anything over them.

Another piece of wood was being brought down now over the one he'd just put there. I was beginning to become even more afraid.

"Put your head down.", he gently moved my head bowed down, against a smooth piece of wood that was there, "Put your hands here."

He placed them where he wanted them too, resting on the same soft wood.

My hair was being moved out of the way in a single tail.

Then I felt and heard a piece of wood being carefully placed above my head, around my wrists.

Then another board over that one…and one more on top of that. Nothing was pinching me or hurting. I felt I had a little bit of room around my wrists and knees but not much, not enough to pull them free.

I started to see stockades in my mind and figured that must be what this is.

Then above me to the left I could hear a chain and something metal being moved….metal sliding and then clicking into place. I knew I was locked in.

My mouth felt dry and my body shivered harder, listening in the blind space around me.

I felt my fingers move a bit, helpless to do anything as I heard him step behind me, where I was sitting.

And with a horrid scraping sound, the metal stool I had been resting on was yanked away from under me.

I let out a scream, thinking I would fall…but I didn't. My knees and legs were holding me in place, trapped in the wooden wall he'd stuck me into.

He likes walls, I surmised.

My ass was just sticking out back there behind me, totally out there. He could do anything to me this way, I realized.

My nude breasts were pinned to the wood in front of them as my back began to strain and ache.

I felt a long bunch of soft leather strands suddenly resting on my back and I flinched.

"Now, slave, ", he began slowly, speaking to me, "I know you are new so I'll do you the favor you don't fucking deserve and tell you a few things first. First – I didn't really want to have to do this so soon in your training but you give me no choice. This is YOUR fault, not mine. Isn't that right ?"

"Yes Sir.", I shivered.

"I wanted to slowly bring you here, with pleasure and time…", he informed, "But you force my hand with your selfish, ungrateful ass. No sin will go unpunished.

Is that clear ?"

"Yes Sir.", I shivered harder.

"Since this is your first offense", he said, "You will receive ten lashes. Some will be light. Some will be difficult. Is that understood ?"

"Yes Sir.", the waiting was torture.

"I know you don't have any idea but I'm being so fucking generous right now.", he told me, "You can thank me."

"Thank you Sir.", I quivered in my voice and body.

"Any questions before we begin ?", he asked.

"No Sir.", I clenched up.

"Don't clench.", he said immediately, "You will cause yourself more pain than necessary."

I tried to unclench and he waited patiently.

"Count as I deliver each blow.", he said without affection.

I closed my eyes and balled my fists, waiting.

Then finally a small snap sounded and the strands bit lightly across both ass cheeks at once.

"Huuhhhhhh", came out of my mouth as I saw stars in my blind eyes. I panted a little and his voice was behind me.

"What's the proper response?" he urged, "And I told you to COUNT!"

"Yes Sir, Thank you Sir !", I woke up and responded, "ONE !"

My legs were straining as I gripped the wood around my fingers, my hair on one side hanging over my face. Waiting for the next strike was agony. He was silent and taking his time, not letting me anticipate him.

Then out of nowhere – CRACK ! Another lash with the whip…harder now. I made a pitiful sound and another from my throat before making sure to say, "Thank you Sir ! TWO !"

"Better.", he commented from the void.

The third slash was even more cruel and this time I did scream then immediately cried out, "THREE Thank you Sir."

He must have moved because the fourth strike went hard across my left ass cheek now.

"OWWW", I yelped out, tears falling out of both eyes, "FOUR - THANK YOU SIR !"

"WAIT !", I suddenly heard myself scream.

"What ?" his voice sounded half amused, half evil.

I got a very big hit now, across my entire ass…and I howled out loud, my ass trying to move to escape.

"WAIT WAIT !", I hated myself as soon as I heard me saying it.

"Are you telling ME what to do ?", he asked.

"No Sir, no Sir !", I cried, "I'm sorry Sir."

"That last one does not count as five.", he said, "That was for insubordination. Do not speak unless you are spoken TO. You don't tell me to wait, you don't tell me ANYTHING. Is that clear ?"

"Yes Sir.", I blinked another tear away, trying to recompose myself.

"To recap ", he stated, "You are here for MY pleasure – ONLY. I thought we established that already. You disobeyed me. You will pay the price. This does not bring me any pleasure. Again, I'm working overtime for YOU. To teach you…to train you. And this is the thanks I get."

"I'm sorry Sir.", I tried to sound really remorseful. I WAS.

"Do you want to leave ?", he asked, his voice hard as nails.

"No Sir.", I said truthfully.

"For once, the right answer.", he scowled, "Not that you WERE going anywhere even if you wanted to. Because why, slave ?"

"Because I'm here for your pleasure only.", I answered timidly.

"You're a slow learner…", he revealed, "But you DO get there, don't you, eventually ?"

"Yes Sir."

"Finally some good news.", he muttered.

"Now where were we ?", he asked me.

"Five."

"NO", he said like a trainer teaching a dog, "I said that one didn't count."

"Four, Sir.", I corrected.

"Four.", he agreed.

"Little cheat.", he said under his breath.

I heard him moving behind me and I waited, my body tensing again.

It came and it was the most painful blow he'd delivered, but it was always on the cheeks of my ass, not my spine. He knew what he was doing and that was clear.

"RRRRRRRRRR!", I let a huge growl out now, tears falling down my face as I struggled, just hurting my knees and legs.

"Stop it bitch.", he shouted, "Stop it now."

I wept for a moment and he didn't strike me.

"Stop squirming and stop clenching.", he said to me once I had calmed down a bit.

"I told you once, I shouldn't have to keep repeating myself.", he said, no concern for me at all at the moment.

"So if you clench", he quietly reminded, "It will hurt more. Let's hope this is the last time I have to say it."

I tried to relax my body but it was impossible. I waited, closing my eyes without clenching them.

"And you also forgot to count and thank me.", his voice was annoyed.

Another crack sounded in the air but this one was lighter…still firm but lighter.

"Six - thank you Sir!", I made sure to say my part.

"Was that five or six ?",he asked me…testing me.

I was screwing up. Fuck !

I panted a second or two and said, "Whatever you say Sir."

"Ahhh.", he sounded more pleased now, "Improving, are we slut ?"

Then he lashed out and a couple strands hit me right in the pussy lips.

"AAAAAAAA", I screamed but made sure to say, "Seven - thank you Sir."

"Did we agree on what number we were on ?", he asked, sounding as if he were smiling.

"Oh no Sir, sorry Sir !"

"Why don't we call that last one Four ?", he asked me, waiting for my answer.

I wanted to cry but I said, "Yes Sir, Four, thank you Sir."

"No slave, I'm not that kind of Master…", he assured me with the first hint of kindness so far, "That will be seven. I will always be fair with you."

"Thank you Sir, thank you !", I felt another tear fall out of pure relief.

"How are you ?" he suddenly asked.

How am I ?

"Fine Sir.", I trembled.

"No this is a real question, girl.", he talked to me like his puppy, "On a scale of one to ten what is your pain ?"

"Uhhh..", I assessed myself, "Six ?"

"Are you asking me or telling me ?"

"Telling you Sir. Six I think.", I said respectfully.

"Six. That's all ? Good.", he moved around behind me, "Then I can strike a bit harder."

Oh shit. The silence was killing me. The waiting was endless.

A very hard lash hit me in the back above my spine and my whole body felt like flames just licked up against it.

"UUHGGHHHHHHHH !", I throated my scream, then added, "Eight, Sir. Thank you Sir."

I thought ten was nothing. Boy was I fucking wrong.

I felt myself clenching again but then I forced myself to stop doing it.

Another medium strength slash across my ass.

"GGUUURRRRRRRR", I heard myself scream, "Nine, thank you Sir !"

"Almost there girl.", he assured.

At last the final blow rang out and kissed my right ass cheek, a very light one.

I panted, "Ten, Sir, thank you Sir."

Then I sobbed out loud like a baby. Not sure why…the pain, yes, but I think it was more relief that it was over that made me cry this way. And certainly, hoping he would forgive me now. Shame in displeasing him was the main feeling I had now. God damned snickers bar.

He didn't say a word to me. I couldn't even hear him moving.

Once I calmed down, his hands were there, his cold hands made my ass feel so much better…he softly rubbed and circled his hands over every spot he had struck. I wept some more from the pure bliss I was feeling and also because he was being sweet to me.

"There, there…", he said very softly, "That's a good girl….you took that pretty well."

I felt like a horse he was petting. I cried a little more, because he seemed not to be so angry anymore, and that filled me with joy.

He was touching me for a long time, only on my ass, until I had calmed myself and stopped crying. The cold of his fingers was bliss.

"Once the punishment is over, it's over.", he instructed, "There will be no grudges or further talk of it. You begin again, a clean slate. Understand ?"

"Yes Sir, thank you Sir."

"Good.", he moved the strands of the flogger down my back, just letting me feel it, "I hope I don't have to use this on you again for awhile, slave."

"Yes Sir.", I agreed.

"Don't worry", he said, "I have just one more little surprise for you…"

He came around to where my face was now and moved my hair out of my wet face.

"Aww.", he sounded sorry for me, almost, his finger wiped under my eye, finding tears there, "You did very well for the first spanking."

A feeling of pride washed over me.

"Thank you Sir."

"Was it worth it, eating that crap I told you not to eat ?", he asked me.

"No Sir."

"But it was really good I'll bet…", he said very sweetly….something is wrong.

"Really delicious and chewy…", he asked, "I bet you want more of it, huh ?"

"No Sir.", I promised.

"But you love it.", he reminded me, his fingers in my hair.

"No Sir.", I said.

I could hear a plastic bag hit a table nearby, something heavy inside as it thudded on the metal.

The plastic was rusting and I could hear a wrapper crinkling. Oh shit.

"Open your mouth.", he demanded.

I opened and a very large piece of candy was shoved in roughly. I tried to protest but he yelled at me.

"Silence.", he shoved another big piece in right on top of what I was already trying to chew. I think I have an entire snickers bar in my mouth !

Another wrapper was being torn off and I wasn't even half done with what I had !

"Little pig, little pig…let more in…", he pinched my nose and forced another half bar into my mouth as I garbled and choked in complaint.

"Don't let a morsel of that shit fall out of your mouth .", he slapped my cheek lightly as I tried to chew.

"I didn't feed you this garbage YOU did.", he informed, "And if you keep eating it and stuffing yourself with this SHIT you will NEVER be strong enough to be a slave of mine !"

I whimpered and tried to chew, gagging as he stuck another half bar into my already full mouth.

"But let's have some more…", he pinched my nose closed as I squealed out, hardly able to breathe as I tried to struggle but the hole my head was in wouldn't let me go anywhere.

"NOOOO", I tried to kick my legs as he forced another half bar of snickers inside my lips. My cheeks were puffed out with candy and I tried furiously to chew it all before more came in.

"But it's sooo good.", he was unwrapping another one as tears fell from my eyes.

"You wanna be a weak little bitch, don't you ?", he shoved more into my mouth as I gagged harder, nearly choking on a big piece that went down my throat, getting caught for a second.

"If anything falls out, I can get ten bottles of soda next.", he threatened.

"Open your mouth.", he grabbed my hair as I finally got that all down.

"No please…Sir…", I cried but he repeated, "OPEN"

He filled my mouth up again with about three more snickers bars.

"MMMMMM", I couldn't even chew there was so much in my mouth !

"Chew it and swallow bitch.", he ordered me.

"The more you eat…the further and further you get from ME!", he shoved more in, "You want that,

right ? You don't want to belong to me, do you ?"

"YSSS SRRRR", I nodded as he pinched my nose again, "OPEN THAT SLUT MOUTH"

"RRRRRRRR", I began to get desperate to stop this.

"Are you really growling at ME bitch ?" he yanked my hair.

I shook my head, whimpering and trying to swallow, my breathing ragged and tortured.

"Only 12 more…" he shoved some more in my lips, "But I can always get more."

"NNNNNNN" was all I could say.

"This is all that's going into your mouth today.", he shoved more in, "If you think you're getting my cock after the way you've behaved you're out of your mind. My cock is only for you when you're obedient. And maybe on your birthday."

That really hurt me.

"I work and work overtime, trying to help you…and you just couldn't care less. You go behind my back and eat CRAP. You destroyed all the progress I thought we were making. We'll see what else gets into your mouth next week.", he kept shoveling the thick pieces of candy in.

"OPEN.", he kept demanding….it seemed to never end.

"NO SIR, PLEASE, NO MORE", I begged but he wouldn't stop.

"Are you going to eat any more shit not on the list ?!", he began to ask me.

"NNNNN SRRRRR", I chewed and swallowed as he pinched my nose again, stuffing more candy in, "NNNNNNMMMMMM"

"We'll see won't we ?", he asked calmly.

"Let's go….four more.", he said as he force fed me some more. I snarled and shook my head now, tensing and struggling everywhere in my body.

I was panting hard as I fought and he grabbed my windpipe.

"STOP", he commanded, "Right now. You fight me again and you'll NEVER get out. Is that clear ?"

I cried a little, defeated, stopping my thrashing.

"Open your mouth, pig.", he slapped my cheek three more times as I obeyed.

"Good.", he shoved it in, "Get it all. It's so yummy…"

"Do you want this….or me ?" he asked loudly, grabbing my cheeks in one hand.

"YYYYUUUU", I strained to speak through all the shit crammed in my mouth.

"I can't hear you.", he pushed another half bar in.

"YYYY SSRRRRRR", I screamed.

"Are you sure ?", he asked.

I went to try and respond but he grabbed my nipple hard, "Are you SURE ?!"

"YSSSSS SRRRRRR !", I was slobbering and chewing at once.

"You're a weak, spoiled little bitch.", he rained insults down on me, "Not even three days after I gave you that list and you're eating this shit ! Your Daddy fed you this shit all your life and that's why you're slow and uncoordinated and clumsy. He had his turn…now it's mine. And you WILL listen to me. I'm your Daddy now."

He forced me to eat more as I begged him to stop through my chocolate and caramel gag.

Finally, it was all gone and I was gasping and panting for air, gagging as if I might vomit.

"Don't you vomit, slut.", he warned, "Or you'll eat all that too."

I kept swallowing and pleaded, "Yes Sir, yes Sir…yes Sir…"

Don't puke, don't puke, I told myself over and over again.

"How was that ?", he caressed my hair, "Did you enjoy it ?"

"No Sir.", I wept.

"Aww", he put his fingers into my mouth, moving them in and out.

Please don't gag me…I'll throw up for sure…. Please….

"Have we learned anything slut ?", he asked me calmly.

"Yes Sir.", I clenched my fists, "I'll never eat that stuff again."

"What stuff ?"

"Anything not on the list.", I vowed.

"Because that was just one bag full.", he pinched my left nipple, holding it, "I can always get more. Of whatever it is you eat. We can do that all night. Are we beginning to understand each other ?"

"Yes Sir.", I nodded.

"So what's it going to be…me…or snickers ?" , he asked, twisting my nipple in his pinched cold fingers.

"YOU, SIR, YOU !", I pleaded.

"You sure about this ?"

He released my nipple and came around behind me, and put a hand on my stomach.

"Oooh that's gonna be one Hell of a bowel movement slave.", he sounded as if he were enjoying this, "Would you like to stay here until you make it ?"

My eyes widened in horror just thinking about it.

"Please Sir…."

"Uh uh uh…", he warned, his finger touching the tip of my nose, "Think about your answer."

I whimpered.

"If it pleases you Sir.", I said, a tear falling down my face.

"That's right.", he snapped.

"I chose you to be one of mine.", he moved his fingers along my lips, "You're a lot weaker than my usual choice. I am trying to make you strong enough to endure the kind of things I have planned for you. Now, if you can't follow my simple instructions, then you cannot be mine. Is that what you want?"

"No Sir.", I trembled. I was scared to death he was about to reject me.

"Can you do these little things I ask ?"

"Yes Sir.", I promised, "Yes Sir, please…"

"Please what ?"

"Please don't…", I took a breath, "Throw me away."

Every one else had tossed me aside. If he did now, I would break. No…I would die.

"Alright slave.", he sounded gentler now, his finger under my chin, "I believe I made my point. I will give you one more chance. But one more time and you are gone. Is that understood ?"

"Yes Sir.", I arched my toes a bit.

"Stay.", he said and moved around me. I couldn't see anything still but I waited.

I felt a warm, slick liquid moving over my back and ass cheeks, his fingers rubbing it in like it was massage oil. I enjoyed that very much and I moaned like a whore, no fight left in me.

I nearly came from that alone.

"A good master always takes care of his pet afterwards.", he said, kinder now, "Whether or not it deserves it."

"Thank you Sir." I said with a lot of gratitude.

"I think I've had enough of you for now.", he said, very callously, "But you're going to hang there until I'm God damned good and ready to take you out. That clear ?"

"Yes Sir.", I agreed, "Thank you Sir."

I heard his feet moving against the ground and then nothing. I trembled in the darkness, trying to be brave. It seemed like I hung in that wooden wall thing forever…hours seemed to crawl by as I stared into the void, alone and blind...but then…

I felt his hand on the back of my neck and I felt my eyes get so heavy I closed them….a thick fog came over me and I could see or hear nothing.

Ahh sugar…aww honey honey

You are my candy girl…

And you got me wanting you…

It was an old song playing…I think from the sixties ? I opened my eyes and my phone was playing it…I groped around, finding it, and was confused…I had this song in my phone ? Since when ?

Then it dawned on me the lyrics…and I shot up, fully awake, looking around, thinking he was there. He was just here a second ago…wait…

WHAT ?

Another dream ?! NOOOOO !

My body felt sore and limp as I got up, and the ache between my legs was worse than ever. I was so horny…these dreams are killing me ! God but that….that was SO REAL ! I can still taste the snickers in my mouth…in my teeth. Or is that the one Alice gave me ? No I brushed my teeth….right ?

I turned off the song and looked at it.

The Archies. I never heard of them. They looked corny and old…but the words were clearly from HIM. Maybe my Mom put this song in here before she died. She sometimes did that. But she was an eighties girl not sixties. I didn't have the courage to delete the song out but then found myself smelling the hard glassy surface there. Do I smell him ? No. What am I, a dog now ?

I went into the bathroom and flipped the light on, pulling my panties down and looking at my nude ass. Surely I should have bruises and marks…at least red lines? Nothing. I moved my hand over my skin, feeling and smelling to see if I could confirm the oil he had rubbed over me after my punishment. Nothing.

I laid a hand on my stomach, and it felt like rumbling and gurgling inside going on. All those candy bars…I thought I'd die choking them down. Is that really something in my sub conscience ? Damn if it is I'm really creative ! More than I thought.

"Fuck Morpheus.", I muttered, feeling betrayed again, "What are you doing to me ?"

I handled the dream better this time than yesterday. But I still kept trying to figure it out. My bed looked normal, my clothes on my body, also normal. He had ripped the shirt off me in my dream. But I was wearing it and it was fine.

I went to school, feeling pissed. Going through each class without really paying much attention, I just kept reliving and reliving everything I could remember. His hands…so ice cold…I could really still feel them all over me, angry and rough but sinister and sexual. I could almost smell him now.

The way he made me call him Sir…the way he called me pet and slave…dream or not, I decided this was my new drug. I prayed that I kept having these dreams. They were so vivid and lifelike and they were definitely doing things to my physical body.

But then I realized the time was soon coming that I'd have to see him for real…talk to him. Have him close to me as he touched me, always as a teacher, showing me volleyball maneuvers.

I chided myself, calling myself a horny teenage twerp making goo goo eyes at the teacher…how lame. But then I'd think of him again. I laughed, picturing Charlie's face if he got a call that I'd been caught fucking a gym teacher here. That would make his teeth unglue and fall out.

I got a flash of myself naked and hogtied to a table in the center of the volleyball court, on my stomach, my hands and knees tied together and pointing straight up behind me. There was a huge black ball gag in my mouth. Mr. Cullen stood next to me in front of the other girls, about to demonstrate things to them as they watched, looking bored.

"Ladies…", he was wearing his black sunglasses in my fantasy, "This is how you break a skinny, damaged slut. Pay attention."

I jumped as the bell rang and I looked around me. The other girls were all sitting in their places, dressed in gym clothes, waiting for Mr. Cullen to make his appearance. I blinked a couple times, seeing I was here too, dressed like them, waiting.

Before I could see him, he was blowing his whistle and entering the well lit gymnasium, ordering, "Squats – 35."

We all began doing our squats and he was counting, his voice tense. He wasn't wearing sunglasses and I was glad. His eyes are so black like everything I could see in my dream last night.

He didn't make any eye contact with me as I tried to do my best with the exercises. Everything seemed just as it always was. I'm such a geek.

I had something to tell him and I couldn't decide if I should do it now or in detention. As crazy as it seemed, I wanted to let him know about the candy bar that I ate. I did feel bad that he was going out of his way to help me and I feel like I betrayed that. And just yesterday I was promising I wouldn't let him down. I felt like shit.

Then for a second his eyes met mine across the room and he looked livid. I can wait until detention I told myself.

I'm such a chicken shit.

When we were finished to his satisfaction, he blew the whistle with a short blast.

"Teagan – Setter", he just started looking at each girl, with his eyes and arms crossed, assigning them their positions to play again, "Hale – Libero, Harris – Opposite…."

Last, he looked at me and said, "Swan – with me."

I almost went weak in the knees as he said it.

He took me back to our favorite wall behind the courtful of other girls. He had one ball in his hand and he stood beside me, not even saying hello.

The other girls were starting to give me looks I noticed but I didn't care. Alice waved to me and I waved back.

"Are you done ?", he eyed me like I was something to eat.

"Sorry.", I blushed, biting down on my lip, something I did sometimes without meaning to when I was nervous.

He went right to business, giving the ball a couple bounces on the wall before he began to show me the new thing he planned for today.

"You weren't bad yesterday, Swan.", he said, "But there's a lot of work to do."

I nodded and waited, watching him as he began our lesson.

"We did a little practice with your two arms together yesterday.", he hardly looked at me, showing me how great he could do it up and down with his arms together…never missing each time.

"Today I want you to do some single arm passing.", he continued, the ball his willing servant as his arms were separated now, and he hit the ball up with only one wrist now, then it went to his other wrist. He popped it straight up and down like a magician, "You can do a couple on each arm if you feel better later on…then just get your other arm under it….light little motions up, just lightly bouncing the ball up."

"Alright, Swan ?", he asked, tossing the ball to me. I missed it. I had to go after it as my face burned again. I came back and he was giving me a look I didn't want to describe.

"Sorry.", I winced, trying it. I tossed it up a bit and put my arm out, jerking it upwards…the ball bounced off it and went off to the other court where the girls were playing. My ball landed right in the middle of their volley and they were mad about it.

He sighed as I went after it. A couple girls were talking about me and frowning. Someone else threw my ball to me.

"Thanks.", I said meekly, going back over to where the panther waited for me.

"Maybe I'm going too fast.", he thought aloud, "Maybe catching the ball should be lesson number one."

When the bell rang and he dismissed the other girls, I really wanted to tell him.

"Um…", I said to him as he gathered the volleyballs, and I went to help, placing mine in the basket on wheels, "Mr. Cullen ?"

"What is it Swan ?", he asked, sounding bored, his back to me.

"I want to tell you something.", I swallowed and just forced myself to say it.

"What ?", he turned to me, his eyes still icy cold as he gave me his attention.

"That list you gave me….", I said in almost a whisper, "The food ?"

"Yes ?", he folded his arms, waiting.

I looked down and said it, staring at my sneakers.

"I…", my voice was so pathetic even to me, "I…ate….a candy bar."

FUCK that was hard to say.

Even harder was it when he didn't say anything and I glanced up at his face.

For a long time he just stared at me, his eyes blank and concrete like that wall over there.

I stammered a couple times, not sure what else to say. Tears came to my eyes as he just looked at me that way, like I was a cockroach that just crawled across his path.

Finally, he spoke.

"Well...", he began and I braced myself.

"I believe I punished you for that last night.", his words were clear and dark as he spoke them.

I felt my head jerk up and my eyes go wide as he kept looking at me as if he was trying to figure me out. His eyes burned into mine, as if he was trying to see right inside of me.

"What ?", was all I could squeak out.

"Go to class Swan.", his voice was deep now, something more in it than usual. He took a step towards me and I flew back…just like he had done with the volleyball that other day...am I losing my mind ? Is this real ? Am I just insane ?

With that he turned away and took the basket of volleyballs with him. I just stood there, not sure if I should walk to the locker rooms…or run to Dr. Carlisle. Or run away from this school altogether. Finally I felt my legs moving me to the locker rooms…in a daze I tried to process what I'd just heard.

END OF CHAPTER 7

LOL ! Hope you are all liking this so far, it gets better !