Chapter 15 - Unforgivable
Bella's POV:
I never slept so damn soundly and peacefully in my whole life. I didn't even dream that's how deep I slept.
Although every so often I would half open my eyes, wondering if I were really in my bed or on the mattress in that cement room. Just inhaling the smell of bleach and lavender let me know it is my bed in my school room. Damn.
I kept remembering the feeling of him pulling me by the ankles…pulling the mattress out from my little alcove under the stairs so he could have me again. He didn't ask. He didn't sweetly wake me and seduce me. No. He just dragged me over to him and spread my pussy open, slamming himself in again without a word as I cried like a beaten dog.
It was the hottest night of my existence. Even the things that I hated – the dog food, the whips and canes…somehow now I thought of it and felt all wet between the legs. I felt like an object, an animal he had hunted and trapped, having no choice in what he did to me. And every cell of my being was on fire being at his mercy.
I would not be able to live without this now, and I knew it, especially now that he had sex with me. He had told me he wouldn't do that until I was accepted. But I guess he liked me enough to change his mind. Was I good ? Did he like it ?
My first time. Fuck and what a story it is. So many girls would tell me about their first time, in the back seat of a car, in some cheap motel…with some loser teenager. This was so much better. And I could never share my story with anyone. That thrilled me even more. It would be for only us to know.
I smiled in my sleep and cuddled in deeper into my blanket. I never wanted to leave my memories of the last two nights…I wanted to relive it over and over again. I couldn't wait to write about this. I would have to use codes so no one would know who or what I was writing about. I'd learned this little trick many years ago with Chief Charlie always snooping through my stuff.
I heard a loud buzzing noise and recalled that vibrator wand. My body curled up, as if enjoying the flashback. I heard a woman's voice in the distance. I frowned and opened one eye, seeing my pillow. The sun was shining brightly upon it. The sun…
I jerked up, looking out my window. A man was out in the field with a leaf blower, that was the buzzing sound. No one was around but him.
"FUCK !", I rolled over and groped around, looking for my phone.
When I did find it on my desk, it said 10:36 am.
"SHIT !", I raged and moved like a wild woman, taking my clothes off and struggling with my bra and underwear. My body was so slow and so achy. I looked in my full length mirror and looked at myself.
FUCK ME.
I had dark red lines all over me, purple little bruises. My breasts looked like a diagonal tic tac toe drawing. I peeked at my back for a second and saw gray and purple lines going up and down all over me. At first I was shocked…but then a smile crept across my lips.
"Cool.", I heard myself say, admiring my stripes. I remembered what he said that every mark was a kiss from him. A visible and sore reminder. At least I know now I didn't dream this stuff.
I would have to be really careful not to ever let anyone see this until it heals, I told myself, getting my uniform on. My knees were a little scraped up but there was nothing I could do to hide them right now.
I was late and I knew I'd be in trouble but I wouldn't be late for gym and that's all I cared about at the moment.
I put on a sweater over my short sleeved polo shirt because my arms were banged up not from any punishment Mr. Cullen had inflicted but from the fucking rocks I had to lift and carry around all day. That part sucked hard but it still felt hot that I was chained up doing slave labor in the heat while he watched me. And he drank soda and ate pizza in front of me. That was low. But I understood what he was doing.
My neck looks okay, I decided before I left my room, no chain marks.
I went to the bathroom and ran down the stairs, hoping there would be a water bottle or something there.
But there was only one lady there, cleaning up the common room area.
"Miss Swan.", she called to me as I tried to sneak by her.
She was an older woman with white short hair and purple eyeshadow, red lipstick. Thin and short.
I stopped and turned. She motioned me over with her finger.
"You're late.", she said, like a grandma who caught the kids being naughty.
"I know", I tried to smile, "My phone battery died and the alarm didn't go off…."
She was writing on a slip of paper.
"You're part of this house, Miss Swan.", she said with warmth, "The other girls don't even know you live here. I'd like you to make an effort to meet them and get to know your room mates."
I almost rolled my eyes.
"Okay I will.", I promised, "Gotta go!"
"Uh", she raised her brows and handed me a slip of blue paper.
"A love poem ?", I joked.
"Yes.", she wasn't phased by my little jab, "And it ends…I will see you here at four, my love….I'll be counting the moments until we meet again."
That was good. I might like her.
"Oh.", I frowned, "I can't…I mean…I have detention at the gym then."
"Not my problem, Miss Swan.", she turned away, going back to the common room, "Figure it out but be here at 4."
FUCK.
I could see Mr. Cullen's face when I tell him I can't be at his detention. Shit. I'm dead.
I'll just blow off the Ivy House detention I told myself as I ran to class….oh my God…my ASS ! OUCH ! My legs…my crotch ! Wait…what class is now ?
What can they do to me if I skip the old lady's detention ? What could Mr. Cullen do to me if I skipped his ? The choice was clear.
I got into my class and showed my blue slip. My cool funny History teacher didn't lecture me at all, he just said, "We've all had weekends like that."
You have no idea I thought as I carefully sat down in my wooden chair, glad I didn't groan out loud.
Half way through History I realized that we had never used a condom and my brain started to freak out. I pictured myself pregnant, a full belly, crying and begging Charlie not to take me back home.
I was so tempted to search my phone for the nearest CVS for the morning after pill. I had never used it but my Mom once told me about it. But Mr. Staley was looking at me too much today so I figured it could wait.
Was I supposed to see Dr. Carlisle today at 9AM ? I couldn't remember.
Man not even two weeks into the year and I'm already unfocused and don't give a shit.
When gym finally came, I nearly changed my clothes in the locker room where I always did but then I remembered my body and went to the stalls in the bathroom, changing in there.
I heard the other girls talking about their weekends but it soon became like white noise. I wondered what gym would be like now, how he would act with me now…would it be weird ?
I was really scared by the time I got out to the gym and eased myself SLOWLY onto the gym floor, crossing my legs Indian style as usual.
When he finally came into the gym my heart melted. He was so beautiful in his blue t shirt and gray shorts…his legs were like sculpted, perfectly toned…muscular. And his face…so gorgeous but without a smile….he was like an angered god fallen to earth, forced to teach us mortal girls our volleyball skills.
"Crunches.", he stated, blowing his whistle, "35."
This was going to kill me. My body wanted to scream as I got on my back on the hard floor and began to just lift my upper half up, crunching my abs and glutes and holding for a few seconds.
He didn't look at me, he looked right through me.
By the time we were done exercising, I wanted to lay down in a pine box.
Mr. Cullen got right to work and said, "Today we're going to do some work on our pass and run drills."
I looked around but no one looked happy about it. Alice was over there and frowned a little to herself but no one groaned or complained. These girls are weird. Maybe they're robots.
"Line up.", he blew the whistle and they all went in a line on one side of the net….
"Gordon, you be the setter.", he gave out instructions and one girl went to the other side of the net. I was in line with the other girls, near the end, where I preferred to be in any line for gym.
"Swan.", blew the whistle one short blast, "Fagan…front and center."
He looked at the other girls and said, "Begin."
They were doing something weird. The girl alone on her side served and the first girl in the line popped the ball up with her wrists….then the next girl in line ran up, setting the ball up with her palms…then the next girl came up and hit it over the net.
I smiled a little as I approached Mr. Cullen…but why was the Fagan bitch coming here with me ?
Again, he didn't even look me in the eye.
"Miss Fagan,", he smiled at her, showing teeth, and that pissed me off, "How was your weekend ?"
"Great.", she beamed, her long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. She was taller and much more athletic looking than me but that's no big contest.
"How was yours ?", she asked as if she was so glad he took this interest in her finally.
"Boring as Hell.", he muttered as she giggled.
WHAT ?!
"Work Swan out.", he jerked his head at me, "Be as tough on her as you like."
"Yes Mr. Cullen.", she replied just like I always did to him and I wondered if they had been together before. It looked like it. And something raw and jealous was ripping my guts up inside.
He walked away, giving me a little brow raise that I didn't understand. Going back to the other girls, he began to coach them, not giving me a second thought.
Tears were burning behind my eyeballs but I kept them back. I would not be the pathetic jerk the next day blubbering and making doe eyes at him. I knew that I had to play things cool after what happened between us, but I didn't think he'd be like this ! Boring as Hell. That was a buck knife in my heart.
And the bitch smirked at me. I just gave her a lethal stare that I hoped she'd heed if she was smart.
"HALE, HALE !", he shouted, "You're KILLING ME!"
I'm sorry Alice.
"Alright, Swan, sprints !", she was trying out her Mr. Cullen imitation and it was severely weak.
"What's that ?", I croaked out, trying to keep my voice from cracking.
"Oh my God.", she rolled her eyes, pointing to the other end of the court, "You sprint there…run…I mean…as fast as you can…then stop at that blue line and sprint back over here to the other side, that blue line."
I'd rather have died. But as I hesitated, I looked at Mr. Cullen. His eyes glanced at me and he turned back to the others. It was not a kind look.
So I started doing it…feeling like a moron as I did what she said. My body was killing me with every step but I did it. If only to show him that I could take anything and be good with it.
"Come on, PICK UP THE PACE SWAN !", she yelled, clapping her hands as she watched me, enjoying herself.
This seemed to go on forever…and I wondered if she knew any other drills or workouts besides this one.
Finally, the sadistic little pig said, "Alright enough of that. Run up the bleachers then run back down, as fast as you can."
Fuck you.
I wanted to say it so badly. I hadn't even caught my breath yet. I looked into her ugly face and wanted to punch it with all my might. I didn't bother to peek at Mr. Cullen this time…I couldn't ask him to fight all my battles. This bitch was mine. Not now…but soon.
I kept picturing Mr. Cullen fucking her in the same shower where I was with him last night. Something painful was happening inside my chest and I didn't like it.
I knew I'd kill myself doing this…the bleachers were high up and not like steps, they were higher so I had to really lift my leg up high each time, being careful not to trip or fall.
"Lift those chubby legs, Swan.", the bitch called out to me half way up.
Oh bitch…you are playing with the wrong female.
"PETERS !", Mr. Cullen shouted, "RUN ! It's those two sticks hanging from your hips !"
Maybe she WAS doing a good impression of him after all.
I hated this, besides the pain and the workout, it was the fear. I hate heights and I hate feeling like I'm going to fall. This was all that in one.
I had gone up and down a few times and I was so over it. My legs felt like two dead slabs of meat.
She was still calling out to me now and then, telling me to go faster, to move my ass, etc. etc. etc.
Then I DID finally trip and land two bleachers down, on my arms between two wooden slabs.
I was alright but my arm was really hurting.
"Keep going Swan.", she said.
I flexed my arm and felt like it was okay, just throbbing.
But without another word, I stepped down the rest of the bleachers…and was coming for that skag.
"I said keep going Swan!", she frowned at me as I came towards her, my logic gone and my rage ready to go.
Before I knew it, I had lashed out at her with my hand, not sure if it was open or closed. But her head flew to the left upon impact and she went down to the floor.
"HEY !", I heard his voice in the distance, then the whistle blowing a hard long blast.
I ignored it and instantly found myself straddling her waist, my hands around her neck as she grabbed my t shirt, pulling and trying to get me off of her.
"SWAN !", his voice was closer and sounded enraged. The other girls were all making noise, thrilled by the fight that just broke out.
"FUCKING BITCH !", I was sneering as I felt arms curling roughly around my waist.
"Hale, get the nurse.", I could hear Mr. Cullen close behind me as he moved me away from her…her face was a light purple as I released her and she choked , now getting air again as the other girls gathered around her.
"Get on that wall !", he slammed me to the wall, my face pressed against it, "Don't MOVE."
I stood there, my hands at my sides as he let go of me and returned to the crowd.
"Get out of the way !", he shouted at them, "Give her air!"
He knelt down next to the bitch and was asking how she was, not gently, just very generically.
"Sit up a little.", he helped her, "Slowly…breathe in and out…that's right. Take it easy."
I smiled to myself, glad she was having trouble getting air. She deserves none.
The nurse finally arrived, wearing white nurse scrubs, she was attractive, in her 30's with long red hair.
Mr. Cullen was telling the nurse that "a little misunderstanding" happened between two girls…and she lost control of her breathing. No one else said anything to contradict him.
Fagan was being such a baby about it, milking it for all it was worth, crying and sniffling as the nurse tended to her, finally getting her to stand up and go with her to her office. I didn't look at her as she went but I wanted to. All I could think of now was what he was going to say to me.
Mr. Cullen ignored me and told the girls that "Show's over. Back to your drills."
I could hear them playing again and he went back to coaching them. He just left me there, standing nose to the wall. I wanted to cry…I wanted to beg him for another chance. I wanted to die.
A lifetime later, he blew his whistle twice and announced, "Dismissed Ladies."
I didn't know if that included me. I stood there, not moving. That's what he told me. Don't move.
They all left and once the whole room was silent, I heard him coming back.
"Turn around.", he scowled, his voice very angry. He didn't even use my name.
I turned and trembled as I looked at him, his eyes almost burning me with their flame.
"You are out of this class.", he said, his words like knives stabbing me.
"And then –"
"Mr. Cullen she –", I began to try to explain and beg.
He closed his eyes and continued over me.
"And then", he sneered, "I am personally escorting your ass to Dr. Carlisle. He loves experimenting on girls like you."
"Mr. Cullen, please…", I felt tears in my eyes, "She was—"
"She was doing what I told her to do.", he said coldly, "She didn't touch you, I was watching."
"She said I have chubby legs !", I argued.
"There are nasty little bitches all over this school.", he said, "All over this WORLD. You cannot strangle every one of them that taunts you. That means Dr. Carlisle, that means the mental ward, and that means prison. If that's the future you want then so be it. Prison women are three times the size of Fagan and they'll love having you for a pet."
"No.", I felt a tear fall, and I whispered, "I want you. I thought—"
He laughed in my face, cutting me off, "You have to be out of your mind, you're saying this to me at 2:36pm in the middle of gym class ?! I thought you were smarter than that."
"I am", I began, "I mean…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to—"
"Your application has been denied.", he came closer to me, his face cruel and stern, "Face the wall."
"Mr. Cullen…", I sobbed out loud, unable to keep it in anymore.
"I said FACE THE WALL!", he shouted louder, scaring me to turn and face it.
He was silent and stood there as I sniffled and wept quietly as I could.
"Anything else to say before I take you to Dr. Carlisle ?", he was so ice cold.
"I'm sorry.", I breathed, "I love you…"
"Jesus Christ.", he sneered behind me, "Yea I heard that last night…right after you came. How meaningful. Don't you ever say that to me again."
"Let's go.", he took me by the arm and began to lead me out of the gym.
Without a word, he walked quickly down the hallways, his icy hand firmly around my upper arm. Would this be the last time he would touch me ? He hates me. He's giving me to …I want to die.
"Where's Dr. Carlisle ?", he asked as he peeked his head into the man's office.
A woman was there, saying, "Hi Mr. Cullen…he'll be right in."
"Thank you.", he said, shoving me into a chair across from Dr. Carlisle's desk, saying, "Sit."
I was trying to be tough but this was so painful I felt like I would bleed any second now.
I thought about begging him not to do this but I really didn't want to give him another chance to say something that would gut me. He already had accomplished that.
Dr. Carlisle came in but I didn't look at him.
"What's this ?", he asked, "Miss Swan ?"
"Miss Swan just tried to strangle a girl in my class.", Mr. Cullen got right to the point.
"Oh my God.", the doctor sounded concerned, "What brought that on ?"
"Nothing.", he scowled as he looked down over my bent down head, "A little healthy competition that's all."
"Call her father.", suggested, "Get his authorization and you can start working on her."
"I know what to do next, thank you Mr. Cullen.", he said, not sounding too fond of Mr. Cullen.
I stood up, about to bolt for the door but Mr. Cullen put his hands on my shoulders, pinning me back down to the chair, keeping them there.
"You don't have to do that, Mr. Cullen.", the doctor said, his eyes up and facing the gym teacher.
"She's exhibited violent tendencies, she's got to be restrained.", he said to Dr. Carlisle, "If she gets out of here, she could hurt another student…"
"Not necessary.", the doctor raised his voice a bit, "Medication will do it better, Maggie ? Get me 500 cc's of Doxepine please."
"NO", I began to struggle against the very strong hands of Mr. Cullen.
"Relax Miss Swan.", Dr. Carlisle said calmly as Mr. Cullen said, "Doxepine is for psychotics, what are you doing ?"
Suddenly, I felt out of my skin and the memories were too sharp to handle…I shoved away from Mr. Cullen and tore out the closed door, running with all my might down the hallways…out of the school…I knew for sure Mr. Cullen could catch me easily…but no one came.
Were they chasing me ? I wasn't sure. But I ran and ran until I got out of the entire school, how I got out of the gates I had no idea…they were just open. No one was around.
And that's how I'm here now, sitting on a rooftop, with three horny guys from Ironwood Academy, drinking bourbon out of a bottle. I don't remember their names…but they were kinda cute…and they seemed to like me.
It was dark outside and this rooftop was on a big office building. This is the town where Ironwood is…I guess. I don't really know or care. We were laughing as we got more and more drunk…and they were asking me if the carpet matches the drapes.
"I have no carpet.", I laughed heartily, "I'm bald !"
We all laughed about that and one of the boys, a blonde senior I think…said, "Let's see."
"Okay I'll show you…", I wobbled as I stood up, trying to get my balance. I lifted my skirt and moved my panties down, showing them my nude pussy.
"WOOOO !", they all cheered, one of them asking, "Can I touch it ?"
"Sure.", I felt my eyes almost close as my voice sounded warped.
They were all rubbing their fingers against me…I hardly felt it or gave a shit.
"So smooth.", a dark haired one complimented, "Nice."
"Yep.", I felt the surface under my feet tip a bit and I fell onto my back…and we all were hysterical about that.
"Hey don't break the bottle.", one of them said and took it from me, taking a swig.
There was a reason I wanted to drink on a tall rooftop. And I decided it was nearly time before these boys decided to do more than just touch me.
"You're cool.", the blonde said to me, smiling, "So many of those girls in your school are bitches."
"Yea tell me about it.", I agreed, "I almost killed one of them today."
They laughed and asked, "Really ?"
"Oh yea.", I smirked and nodded, moving hair out of my face, "It was so great. She turned blue."
"Woah.", the dark haired one sounded impressed, "Badass."
I felt tears in my eyes suddenly, seeing Mr. Cullen, so angry at me.
"He kicked me out of his class.", I said with a distorted drawl, "He hates me."
They didn't react to this, they just drank and watched me.
Tears ran down both my cheeks as I breathed, "I'll never learn volleyball now."
They had no idea what I was saying…neither did I. I hate volleyball. It's HIM I would never know now.
I kept thinking what I had been thinking all day. I would not be in his class again. I would not have him for a teacher anymore. I would never be tied up by him again. I would never have him fuck me again. It would be like he never existed…and Dr. Carlisle would get me. What would he do to me ?
The more I considered it, the more certain I was. My life is over.
"Alright, boys.", I held my hand out for the bottle, and it was given to me.
I took a huge gulp and winced a bit as the heat took hold in my chest.
"When I come back you're all gonna fuck me, right ?", I asked them.
Their eyes were wide with surprise but they smiled and laughed, agreeing and saying, "Hell yea !"
"Alrighty then.", I held a finger up, "One second."
I lazily smiled and turned to the skies, black and littered with little lights, from other office buildings…I slowly walked towards it….to the ledge waiting for me.
My mind was filled with him….his hand over my mouth….his kiss when I was locked in the cage in the ground…his mouth on my clit and breasts…I knew I couldn't live without it. Even more, I hated how he looked at me like I was damaged. That was the cruelest blow of all.
"Where you goin?", one of the boys asked as the wind began to shove my hair back, as if warning me to stay away.
"I'm just going to Hell for a minute.", I snickered, "Be right back."
I got there and climbed to get up there. In a couple minutes I was there…looking around. Now in sober life, I would be terrified of the height I was at. I looked down and saw a parking lot…the cars so tiny…like ants.
"Mommy I'm coming…", I smiled, looking up into the night, "You gotta catch me."
I would go to Hell and my mother would be there, waiting for me. I was okay with that.
"SWAN", I thought I heard his voice but I knew it was just my wishful drunk thinking.
"Hakunnaaa Mataadddaaa…", I sang slowly…"What a wonderful phrase….."
I fell backwards and felt like I was freefalling…I giggled…it was fun…I could see my holey socks above me…my little toe poking out a little.
"RRRRRR!", I heard something near me, a snarling or a breath sounding as if it were working hard.
I was going in another direction suddenly, not down anymore. I giggled, wondering what was happening but not really caring.
Then I felt myself being gently lowered to the concrete. I looked around and saw I was laying on the spot where the boys and I had just been. How'd that happen ?
I looked up and focused and I saw him there…Mr. Cullen. He looked down at me, not saying anything, his eyes disappointed and sad. This was a dream. I couldn't decide if a good or a bad one.
I shoved him away and shimmied out from under him…
He stood and watched me, wearing his blue jeans and gray button down shirt.
I stared at him and frowned, then I went up to him full force and shoved him hard back away from me.
He didn't say anything. He just stood there.
Pissed off and thinking he wasn't real, I slapped his face. It didn't move but my hand was hurting now.
He kept staring.
I hit him again and raised my hand to hit him again when he put his hand up, catching my wrist in it.
"Stop it Swan, you're going to hurt yourself.", he warned.
I pushed against him again, and started to throw furious punches at his chest…he cursed under his breath to himself and picked me up in his arms, tossing me over his shoulder as I screamed and fought. He would take me back to Carlisle and I would be trapped in a hospital forever.
"No, I won't GO !", I screeched, "Help me ! YOU GUYS !"
I called to the boys who were watching this and they started to come closer.
"Hey man", one of them said, the big one, "Put her down, she's with us !"
"Actually, I saw her first.", he said, his voice low and deep but calm.
"She obviously doesn't want to go, dude.", another one said.
"That's too bad.", he replied calmly, his voice sounded like he was smiling.
Then suddenly there was screaming and struggling…I heard them running off, terrified…and I couldn't see what was happening.
My boys had flown the coop and left me to go to the looney bin. Thanks guys.
I felt like we were falling suddenly…and climbing and moving downward again…I felt as if I would vomit but I managed to keep it down. I wanted to puke on him, just to see the look on his face as the nice lobster bisque he fed me dripped off his expensive shirt. Or maybe it would hit him in the face, in the hair. I giggled picturing it.
Then I landed in a car seat, the buckle snapping in place as I looked and saw Mr. Cullen driving in his seat.
My voice had no filter now…and I just watched him sadly as he stared at the road, looking very upset.
"You said I could trust you…", I slurred dreamily, then started to sing with a mumbling voice, "He a-a-ate my heart…and then he ate my brain…that boy is a monsterrrrr….."
He ignored my song, if that's what it was.
"No.", he pointed out, still watching the road, "I said to trust me. You did. That's your mistake. In fact, I DID tell you not to give your trust to people you don't know…are we learning anything yet ?"
"Tomato…TOMATO…", I snickered a little after I'd said it.
"Jesus Christ you stink like a cheap bar!", he scolded, "My seats."
"You can't tell me what to do.", I said defiantly, "You're nothing to me."
I wish that was true. I wish that would cut him as his words had surely sliced into me. But I knew it wouldn't.
He smirked and didn't look at me.
"Is that so ?", he asked softly.
"Yea IT'S SO !", I tried to sit up more but I fell back, too tired…dizzy.
"And just hours ago you were declaring your undying love…", he shifted the gears and the car sped up significantly. Is this a spaceship ? Are we flying ?
"And you spit it right back in my face !", I responded angrily, then looked out my window, "Awwww…a butterfly. Can we go back and get him ?"
"What the Hell did you drink ?", he asked, inhaling the air around him as if there was an offensive odor he was trying to place.
"I don't know but I'll tell you one thing…", I faded off in my speech.
"What's that ?"
"It WASN'T ON THE LIST !", I howled with laughter then.
"Fuck are you going to pay for this.", he muttered to himself.
"It wasn't on THE LIST !", I patted his arm as he flinched me off, "Ohhhh the fucking list…"
"I ate the list.", I giggled, putting my socked foot on the dashboard, "Was that on the list ?"
"Get your revolting feet off my dash!", he shoved it off and sniffed his fingers, wincing from the scent.
"Oh hey…is this a nice car ?", I asked. I could see leather around me, black.
"Very.", he was still pissed, not looking at me but at the road, his sexy as fuck jaw tightening under the snow white skin.
"Ohhh, I'd better not puke in it then !", I sat up a bit and pretended to be feeling sick.
"SWAN.", he looked at me now, concerned. Try and ignore me, I dare you.
"Uhhh oohhh uugghhhhh", I acted like it was coming up.
"If you want to kiss the asphalt at 120 miles an hour that's your decision.", he warned.
"I'll wait to puke on you.", I sat back and he relaxed a little, I added, "Dog food vomit will be really pretty on you.."
"Who were those boys ?", he asked me, changing the subject.
"My new boyfriends.", I informed, "Whatever their names are…I think…Derek? Damon ? Something with a D. I think."
"The punishments just keep racking up…", he turned the wheel and we swooped to the right.
"I let them see my naked pussy.", I smiled, "They touched it too. They liked how good you fixed it."
"Fucking slut.", he mumbled, increasing the speed again.
"Why do you care ?", I asked him, "You don't want me. I'm denied, remember ?"
"You SHOULD be, you know that ?", he asked, almost to himself, "Why I don't take your ass right to the mental ward is beyond me!"
"You could take me to Dr. Klondile…", I tried to say Carlisle, "And they might put me away…but I'll kill myself eventually. Believe me."
"Believe it or not you're speaking to the one person who understands that.", he lectured like a parent, "When you sober up, I will explain some things to you. But to do it now would just be futile."
"Oooh look at me, I know big words…I'm so smart….", I mocked him as his head turned to me, astonished, "I'm so pretty, I'm so perfect…I'm so athletic….you're just an angel on earth, aren't you ? But you know what ? It doesn't matter…because…you're not…nice…."
In my head that seemed like a lethal burn…but I'm sure in reality it came out sounding stupid and lame.
He turned back to look at the road, glaring ahead of him, muttering to himself, trying to keep himself under control. I thought I saw his eye twitch for a second.
"Stop calling me pretty, that's a woman's word.", he clenched his manly jaw.
"Where are we going ?", I wondered all of a sudden. For some reason I wanted to go to the library.
"You'll see.", he said cryptically, a smile spreading across his lush pouty lips.
Before I knew it, we stopped and he came to my side of the car, grabbing my hair and yanking me out.
I was tossed over his shoulder again and a flash went by…then when I opened my eyes again I was sitting on a table, a bright light on over my head.
"Where is this ?", I asked groggily.
"Another place.", he began taking my socks off, not in a sexy way, like a parent would undress their child.
"I've been there once.", I giggled, laying my head on his chest, my arms around his neck.
"Mmmm", I inhaled as he sat me back up, taking my arms off him.
"You smell so good.", I observed out loud, "What cologne is that ?"
"Venom", he replied matter of factly, pulling my shirt up off of my body, starting to unzip my skirt.
"Oh is that a spiderman thing ?", I asked, "Where's my bottle ? Can I have another drink ?"
"Absolutely not.", he answered, laying me flat on my back on the table, pulling my skirt off my legs.
"Ooh are we gonna BANG again ?", I asked curiously, "That was so much fun…"
He gently pulled my panties off and pulled my arms up so I was sitting up again and he unhooked my bra in the front, removing it also. This wasn't registering into my very inebriated brain.
"Mmm", he made that little sound again. But it definitely sounded annoyed.
I looked up at him, feeling sad and grabbed his shirt, in desperation.
"Why didn't you like me ?", I almost wept, "I thought you did."
"I DO like you, Swan.", he admitted, "Too much for your own good I'm afraid."
"Then why did you-put that man girl in charge of me ?", I asked him, a bit louder now.
"She's not a man girl.", he pointed out.
"I don't care what she is…", I whined, "That was horrible. She was so mean to me."
He smirked at me.
"YOU'RE so mean to me.", I added.
"Exactly.", he replied, the smirk still there firmly in place.
"Why?", I kissed his neck, "I did everything you said…I tried to be good."
"Swan. ", he took a deep breath, "Stop."
I nuzzled into his neck and whimpered, "Why did you narc on me ?"
"I will explain that later when you can comprehend it.", he stated.
"I don't want to belong to Dr. Cockledoodle doo.", I tried to say Carlisle again.
He gave a little laugh at that.
"You will never belong to Dr. Cockledoodle doo.", he promised, moving my hair away from my shoulder.
"I want to belong to YOU.", I felt tears coming again, "You said I could…"
"I told you no explanations.", he almost looked a little sorry for me.
"But…", I sighed, "I…"
He was just looking at me.
"Can you give me another chance ?", I asked groggily, "I can do better. I can be what you want…just teach me and I'll do it…"
He smiled a small grin at me.
"Lay down now.", he eased me onto my back and moved my hair out of the way, and I felt soft fur encase my right wrist, a buckle firmly tightening it around.
"You are going to be indisposed for awhile.", he informed me as he moved around to my other wrist, shackling that one as well, connecting it to something on the table so my wrists were resting at my sides.
"I will be with you.", he assured me, "Just until you are over your little problem. Don't want the school to see you in THIS state."
I didn't pick up on much of what he was saying but I was glad he was chaining me down again.
I felt my ankles being buckled up and they were slightly opened, resting against the table.
"This will be interesting.", he said, sitting on a taller cabinet across from where I was laying. He had the leather journal in his hands again, with a pen.
"Now Miss Swan…", he began, "Now that all the walls are down and the inhibitions are temporarily absent…why don't we talk a little ?"
"Okaybee.", I almost sang it, staring at the light above me, slurring my words again as I sang, "He ate my heart…he ate my heart…a-a-ate my heart…."
"If you have to vomit, notify me immediately.", he said first, "I have a bucket prepared."
I burst out laughing, finding that very funny for some reason.
"Are you finished?", he finally asked me.
"Sorry.", I tried to be serious. But then I laughed some more. He waited.
"So, you really went after Miss Fagan today.", he reminded.
"Yea.", I felt myself glowing with pride.
"Is that all it takes to light your fire, a little mean girl talk ?", he asked, smiling, "I was mean to you for two days and you're writing me a book of love poems."
"I didn't write a book", I complained loudly, "No book is coming soon to a Barnes and Noble near you…"
"You're not exactly MEAN", I decided, "You're more like…wicckkkeeddddd."
He smiled more at that, writing something.
"And you SO own it.", I said, admiringly, "You are just cruel but sexy at the same time…I love it so much."
"And why wasn't that working for Miss Fagan?", he asked.
"Because she's a bitch.", I said simply, "And I think she's jealous of me because you've been paying attention to me in class. She wants to fuck you."
He smirked and shook his head, writing more things down.
"What are you writing in there ?", I suddenly wanted to know, "Is that a food list you're making ? Get me…onion dip and cheez its."
"HAVE you ?", I suddenly asked him, my mouth open.
"Have I what ?", he asked, his brow furrowed.
"Have you…you know…fucked her ?", I asked him in a whisper.
"That's not really any of your concern, Swan.", he said flatly.
"OH MY GOD YOU HAVE !", I gasped…then burst out laughing.
"What is so damn funny, you little drunk ?", he asked, sounding a bit miffed.
"Ughhh…", I made a face, "I mean, no judgements but…you could do so much better…I mean I'm not that great, either, but HER ?! She's a TROLL ! And even her name has the word FAG in it."
"Can we get off the topic of Miss Fag I MEAN Miss Fagan.", he tried to regain control of the interview.
I held back a laugh and said, "Okay."
"The point is…", he got back on track, "You attacked her. Why did you do that ?"
"I felt like it.", I admitted honestly.
"Out of jealousy ?", he asked.
"Mmmm", I shrugged, "Maybe a little. But those kind of girls…they all need to be destroyed. Nerds like me have been enduring their shit for decades. It's time we rose up and cast off our chains !"
Just then my hands went up and were jerked back down, a jingle sounding in my ears. My chains did not cast off. But I was glad.
"Wow.", was all he could say.
"You don't fuck nerds, do you ?", I pondered aloud.
"You are the first.", he conceded.
"Really ?", I grinned proudly, "I broke the door down for my people ?"
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
"If I didn't stop you, would you have kept going ?", he asked, "Would you have killed her ?"
"Mmmm probably.", I sighed, getting bored.
"Would you have felt bad ?", he asked, "If you totally got away with it and no one would ever know…would you still struggle with that ?"
"Not a lot.", I said, "The only struggle I have is that when I did it before my Dad hated me ever since."
Mr. Cullen stopped writing.
"Before ?", he asked.
"Yea when I killed Jenna Vaughn.", I said as if it were obvious, "My Dad said I couldn't stay in the house with him anymore. And he made me come here."
Mr. Cullen's face had a strange look.
"When you killed Jenna Vaughn.", he repeated back to me.
"Yea…", I made a tsk sound, "Do you have a hearing problem or something ?"
"How did you kill Jenna ?", he asked me with a very careful voice.
"I stabbed her.", I said, feeling really light about this all of a sudden, "I had this cool dagger…."
"Why did you do that ?", he asked me, not sounding afraid.
"She was making fun of my mother.", I said bitterly, "I warned her to stop it. Twice. She laughed about my Mom killing herself."
"God.", he breathed to himself, not taking any notes on this.
I looked at him and frowned, "Do you hate me now too ? You said I could tell you…"
"No, Swan, I don't hate you.", he quickly told me, "God, no. And I'm not afraid of you, either, before you ask. I'm just concerned about you, that's all."
"AWWW", I smiled at him, "You're so nice to me."
He let a breath fall out of his mouth.
"Okay.", he simply said.
"My Dad said that I would have to go to jail if anyone found out.", I recalled, "And he said I had to come here. He said that I need help. He said it was unforgivable. So he threw me away."
His face looked stern and a bit angry as he shook his head and made a note of something in his book, making a sharp underline that scratched the paper.
"Are you going to turn me in ?", I asked like an old cop movie from the 60's.
"No I'm not going to turn you in.", he looked at me and it seemed he meant it completely.
"You just DID turn me in to Dr. Cocksucker.", I reminded.
He laughed at that for a moment.
"Well, yes and no.", he said.
"What ?"
"I'll go over this with you again sober but today, in school…it didn't happen.", he informed.
I tried to figure this out.
"WHAT ?"
"Consider today…erased.", he explained.
"What does that mean ?"
"I can't explain it to you but today was your last test…experiment, really.", he tried to make me understand.
"What experiment ?"
"Before I accept a new trainee, I like to test her loyalty to me.", he revealed, "You had every chance to tell Dr. Cocksucker about our weekend to save yourself but you didn't. Congratulations, Miss Swan, you've been accepted into my little soirée."
"WHAT ?!", I felt my mouth fall open as I looked up at him, "Are you shitting ME ?!"
He gave a little smile and it was adorable !
"No, I'm certainly not.", he said.
"Wow !", I squealed and celebrated by banging my feet and hands on the table beneath me, doing a little happy dance. He was still smiling down at me and gave me a little nod.
"You earned it.", he said, smirking more, "And that is both a compliment and an insult."
"Oh my GOD !", I was giddy, "I'm the first NERD member !"
He gave a little chuckle and said, "Definitely."
"When you're sober we will go over the rules in depth.", he quickly became all business again, "If you think this is going to be fun or easy you're sadly mistaken. There is so much work to do."
"And you don't care that I'm a murderer…uh…murderess ?", I tried to figure that one out.
"You're not the only girl who ever lost control.", he informed, "That doesn't bother me at all. But Miss Swan…you will not do anything like that again without my permission. Is that clear ?"
"Is Fagal in the group with us?", I wondered aloud.
"Miss Swan.", he quietly stopped me.
"Alright, alright.", I stopped asking about her.
"The first thing I want you to know is I will always be honest with you.", he said, "I won't pretend to be what I'm not. And like it or not, I will tell you what you need to know."
His voice became a little sad as he added, "And soon I will tell you something about me."
"What ?", I asked, my voice quiet now.
"Not important right now.", he said, "Just know that when that time comes, I hope you will be as understanding as I've just been with you."
"I will be.", I said, looking at his worried face.
"Mr. Cullen…", I said, "You could tell me anything. I would still…care about you."
"Oh care about me ?", he grinned, "What happened to love me ?"
"Well you don't seem to like that so…", I began.
"Swan.", he stopped me, "You can always tell me how you feel. You don't have to hide it. Today was a test. I don't really feel that way. You can say it. I just…can't say it back…with words."
I thought about that for a moment and he spoke again.
"It's not you or anything you've done.", he tried to think of something, looking up then looked at me, "You know when you write your stories?"
"Yea."
"Have you ever made up a character who was…", he searched for a word, "Evil ?"
"Oh yea, those are my favorites.", I smiled.
"Of course they are.", he said to himself, "Well…you don't write them saying 'I love you' or 'I really care about you', do you ?"
I thought about it.
"Sometimes…", I said, "When I write, I like to write about damaged people…and even evil or really monstrous people can still love. It's not like the normals' type of love but…it's so much more interesting to write about that. It's very complex and it's a process. It doesn't just happen overnight the second the villain meets the girl. They have to get to know each other…and slowly…sometimes, painfully slowly…the villain starts to change a little…"
He was really looking at me while I talked.
"Not that I want you or any villain to change…", I said, "No no…I don't believe in my monsters turning into angels ever…that's not gonna happen and it's a fairy tale ending that's not real. But I enjoy the slow gradual subtle things that happen…"
"It's too hard to explain…", I thought I'd lost him, "It's a writer thing…"
He looked at me then like I just pissed on his shoes.
"Ughhhh…", he made his voice sound stupid, "You went too fast FOR ME I don't underTHAND."
I laughed out loud for a long time after that.
"If you piss on that table, Swan, you're licking it all up.", he finally calmed my hysteria.
"You have a comedian in there somewhere.", I told him, "You should let him out more often."
"No, thank you.", he replied.
He asked me about a lot of things as I laid there, resting, waiting for the alcohol to release me from its grip.
"What would you want to do with the last year of your life ?", he asked me at one point.
"Oooh what a great question.", I complimented, "This is the last year of my life."
"What ?", he asked me, confused.
"Well I gave myself until I'm eighteen and if I'm still miserable and violent…and if there's nothing in my life worth living for…I'm gonna…take myself out."
"Why would you do that ?", he asked me, "You're a baby, eighteen is nothing, your life is just starting."
"I don't like it here very much…", I confessed, "I don't belong."
He closed his book and walked up to me, looking right at me.
"Listen to me, Swan, and listen well.", he said and even though drunk I did sit up and listen.
"You DO belong.", he said firmly, "You are not normal. Well, congratulations, being normal sucks and it's a death sentence. Normal is mediocre and that's the same as being invisible. You are a dark butterfly in a sea of beige crap. You're unique and you're special. Don't let the assholes of this world convince you that you're less than they are. That's bullshit. Everything that's great in this fucked up world is weird and unusual and makes no apologies for it. You have to do the same.
Fuck what your father says or whatever he did to make you feel like you were nothing.
Besides, you tried to kill yourself tonight and I stopped you. So technically, your life belongs to me now. Plus you've been accepted into my ranks so that doubly binds your life to me. So…you may NOT kill yourself or do yourself harm. I say so. That is rule number one. Is that clear ?"
"Yes ,Sir." ,I felt a tear fall down my eye and into my hair.
"If you still want to die in one year, ", he said solemnly, "I'll help you in a way that…won't cause you any pain. Deal ?"
He would help me ? He would let me ? This guy just became my new God.
"Deal.", I took a breath, "Sir."
His finger stroked away the tear I had just lost and he leaned down and kissed me, a gentle kiss.
I tried to kiss him longer but he pulled away and said, "Ugh that alcohol smell is revolting."
Then he brushed my teeth while I lay chained there and had me mouthwash too.
"Scent is very important to me.", he explained, "Keep that in mind now that you're in training. You will have a perfume collection soon that all the other girls will envy."
"Thank you, Sir.", I smiled at him.
"And you are accepting me with all my faults and stuff ?", I asked, "Why ?"
"Look, Swan.", he said, "Your faults are part of you, just like my faults are part of me. You be you…and I'll be me. I am mean, impatient, nasty, bitter, a perfectionist, snide, sarcastic, narcissistic, twisted, self loathing…and yes, definitely a monster…the list goes on and on…"
"I like all those things about you.", I told him.
"And I like you - so far.", he added the last two words on, smiling, "So we go in knowing these things about each other and we accept this is how it is. You won't try to change me…and I'll get to work trying to change you…but for the better…I won't fade your colors, Swan. I'll deepen them. And I will help you to become everything you were destined to be."
"Man…", I was in awe of him, "You give a great speech."
"It's no speech, Swan, it's my oath to you.", he pointed out, "And when I ask something of you, I want complete honesty and I will do the same."
"Alright.", I agreed.
"Good.", he gave a nod, "And no more brawling with the other girls. It turns me on too much."
I beamed.
"Really ?", I asked him, "I turned you on ?"
"Often.", he answered, a naughty little smile on his lips.
"Did you see that I laid her out with one punch ?", I asked him, "And she's twice my size!"
"I did.", he responded, "I was so proud. Finally, you did something right in my class."
I giggled at that. "It felt good."
Why do bad things feel so damn good ?
"I know.", he kept smiling.
"But no more without my permission." , he said, "I can't have you getting expelled then how would I get my hands on you ?"
"I'm going to be in trouble when I go back to school.", I realized now, my drunk lessening a bit, "They're going to make me be with Dr. Carbunkle."
"No they're not.", he stated, "It's been handled. No one will even remember it. I promise you."
"Really ?", I asked, "How ?"
"I'll explain that another time.", he only said.
We talked all night and the sun started to creep in through the hazy windows. I was starting to have the headache from Hell now and realized all I said and did the night before.
"Oh my God.", I groaned.
"Ah…", he opened his eyes and looked at me, "The morning after. Here's where you pay for all the trouble you gave me last night."
"Oh God !", I wished I could hold my head but my hands were bound.
I remembered drinking with those guys…and what I let them touch…and how I rubbed that into Mr. Cullen's face…
"OH FUCK", I felt awful.
"What have we discussed about those words ?", he reminded.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Cullen.", I almost cried, "I can't believe…I said that stuff…ohhhh and I ate the LIST."
He smiled a little and said, "I have more, it's alright."
"I could've been raped.", I realized.
"Well", he said, "You DID court it but yes you almost were."
"How do you know that ?", I asked.
"Three drunk boys one drunk girl letting them pet her bare pussy equals rape. Even if you passed out I think they would've had their way with you on that roof. This is why no more drinking unless I'm present and give you my approval."
"Why did I do that ?", I whined.
"You were hurt and angry with me…you thought I betrayed you…it's totally understandable.", he shrugged.
"I still can't believe you were acting.", I smiled, "God you're cool. I mean…you were so good at that I FELT it in my GUTS! How do you do that ?"
"You'll learn.", he predicted, "You wear your heart on your sleeve a bit too much. You will learn how to guard it and protect it more."
"When you said that part about saying I love you right after coming…that was pure wickedness.", I admired. I'd have to remember that line for one of my stories.
His brows raised a bit, "I'm glad you're impressed. Actually, I first told a girl I loved her right after I came for the first time. It felt right. It IS quite a gift."
"Oh yea.", I smiled at him, "You made my first time…so…so…"
I almost cried.
"Alright, Swan, get a hold of yourself.", he teased, "You should start throwing up in about ten minutes so let's enjoy this rest until then."
"Oh…", I thought of it and decided to ask, "Can I ask you something, Sir ?"
"Sure.", he answered.
"I…we didn't use a condom or anything…", I said in a small voice…"I was going to get the morning after pill but didn't get a chance…"
He smiled warmly at me.
"Don't worry about that, Swan.", he said, "It's alright. Umm…I won't get you pregnant and…you will have no diseases from me either. I'm…immune."
I didn't know you could be immune from getting something.
"Can I ask something else ?", I asked.
"Yes.", he crossed his arms, smirking at me in that way.
"How many…", I began, "How many girls are…being trained ?"
"You are 317.", he said, his voice definite.
"How do you have time to do gym class?", I asked, "And why are you so tense if you have 317 girls ?"
He laughed.
"I'm not Santa Claus I don't do them all in one night.", he shared, "Some need more training than others. Some are more naughty than others…"
He tugged my nipple and I gave a little yelp.
"Some are not regular…others are.", he explained.
"And you can't catch any disease from anyone ?", I checked to make sure I had that right.
"Correct.", he agreed.
"Oh is that why you took my blood and did the whole doctor thing ?", I realized.
"Partly.", he looked sideways as he thought of it, "There are other reasons, depending on the trainee."
"You were a very sexy Gynecologist.", I complimented.
"Thank you.", he smiled.
"Why would you be a gym teacher instead of a doctor if you have the degrees ?", I asked him.
"I like being a gym teacher.", he said.
"You do ?", I scoffed, "You look so miserable every day in gym."
He laughed and said, "You be you…I'll be me. Remember ?"
"I know ", I shook my head, "But…why ?"
"Let's just say I've done a lot of things.", he began, "And have enough equity to do whatever I want, regardless of the salary, because I just want to."
"You're lucky.", I looked up, closing my eyes, "Most people have to work crappy jobs for no money…it's sad."
"Yes it is.", he looked lost in thought, "I've been poor. So poor. I've been so hungry that I've eaten worms. It still drives me to this day to work harder, to do more…to keep going."
I looked at him and actually felt sorry for him. He ate worms ? Would he make me eat worms ? I better not ask.
"And that's why I want you to learn volleyball.", he revealed, "Not because I want you to be some volleyball star but because I want you to try…to get out of your comfort zone and learn something you never thought you'd want to learn. To achieve it and become good at it. I know you can do that, Swan. And I won't quit until you get there."
"Thanks.", I said, "It's been a long time since anyone believed in me like that. I will try."
"You will DO.", he corrected.
After that moment of clarity, I began throwing up. Mr. Cullen had unchained me in seconds and got me outside so I could hurl there on the grass. He held my hair up and out of the way, rubbing my back as I vomited.
I felt my intestines were tearing out of me as I emptied my stomach.
"Nasty shit you drank.", he said, "Wasn't it fun ?"
"Hey this is most likely a nasty side effect of the dog food dinner.", I teased back.
"Why are you being so nice to me ?", I asked him suddenly as he handed me a little towel.
"You're mine now.", he said without hesitation, "I take care of what's mine. Good or bad."
Later after I was finished throwing up, he gave me a nice hot shower and then made me swallow a glassful of raw eggs. He said it would help. He took care of me, in his way. He didn't let me curl up in his lap or anything but he did care for me until I was better again.
"Who is your favorite girl of the 317 ?", I asked him later as I laid on my mattress, the chain back around my neck as he sat a couple feet away.
"Miss Swan.", he sounded a little annoyed.
"Oh really ?', I teased, "Me ? Aww I'll bet you say that to all the 316 girls."
"This is not a slumber party.", he reminded me, "It's a very special thing. I am not naming names. Just as I will never tell your name to anyone."
"Okay.", I said, "But…do you have a favorite?"
"Yes, me.", he replied.
"Enough questions.", he finally ended it and said, "I think it's time you returned to your room."
"What room ?", I asked.
"Your dorm room.", he answered.
"I hate it there.", I curled into the mattress, "I want to stay here."
"Well, I don't.", he smirked at me.
"You don't ?", I asked, confused again, "Don't you live here ?"
He made an insulted face.
"Great Fuck, no.", he denied, "What made you think THAT ?"
"I don't know I just thought…"
"I'm not the Phantom of the Opera living in the abandoned parts of the school.", he sounded very insulted now, "These are just places I like to train. There are no people around and you can scream your head off and no one will hear you for ten miles. And better for you girls to be trained in…less glamourous surroundings. I don't like spoiled little slaves."
"Where do you live ?", I asked.
"A house.", he said, "One you or the others will never see so don't ask."
"Is it nice ?", I wondered, "I'll bet it's nice."
"It's acceptable.", he said, giving nothing away.
"Why can't anyone go there ?"
"I think it's getting to be curfew time.", he tapped his watch, "You can't keep being late all the time, either, I don't care for it. So start setting your alarm at night so you don't oversleep the next day."
"How'd you know about that ?"
"I don't, I just guessed and damn correctly I'd wager.", he took hold of my leash and began to slowly pull it towards himself.
'Noooo", I whined, trying to hold the bannister as he tugged.
"Let go, Swan.", he grumbled, "You have already committed about 230 sins in the last 24 hours to indenture yourself into servitude with me for 100 years. So stop."
"Ohhh.", I let go of the bannister as I crawled to him on hands and knees as he drew my leash to him.
"I'm not in big trouble for all that, am I ?", I asked, trying to look seductive.
"Yes, very much so.", he informed, "I missed a whole day of work for you, little Miss. And I will be going over every infraction starting tomorrow at 3pm in my detention. Don't be late."
"And don't pull those fucking eyes out to make me be nice to you either.", he was nose to nose with me now, holding my leash, "This day was the last you're going to see of Mr. Nice for awhile so I hope you enjoyed it. Is that clear ?"
"Yes Sir.", I felt his fingers on my bottom lip and I gave them a little lick.
"And gym class is gym class.", he further stated, "There I am Mr. Cullen, a complete separate entity. There will be no 'I love yous' in class, no doe eyes…no expecting anything other than volleyball lessons. Got it ?"
"Got it Sir.", I breathed, moving my lips over his fingers.
His eyes became a bit heavy as he watched me.
"Swan.", he warned.
I wanted him to dive on me like the other night, to take me and take me until I was dying again. But he didn't. Maybe it was all the vomiting.
He dressed me and walked with me back to the Ivy House. Students were still walking around and getting home, teachers too. No one acted strange that we were walking together.
"Is your alarm set ?", he asked me outside the house. I checked my phone.
"Yes Sir…yes.", I looked around.
"It's okay, this is a private school. ", he said, "Many girls call their teachers Sir. But Mr. Cullen will be fine."
"Alright, Mr. Cullen.", I said, thinking.
"What ?" he asked.
"What's your first name ?", I asked, "I never heard."
"Edward.", he said, "But you are never to call me that."
"I know.", I nodded, "I just wanted to know."
Edward. An older man's name, like William or Rhett. Maybe he was named after his grandfather. I looked at him and put the name to his face and decided I liked it.
He smiled and looked around.
"Goodnight, Miss Swan.", he said like a gentleman.
"Goodnight, Mr. Cullen.", I smiled back, glad this day ended so differently than last night. I could've died. Or worse.
"Mr. Cullen.", I called as he began to leave, "It's a nice name…Edward."
"Thank you. So is Isabella.", he grinned and turned his back to me, leaving slowly, not waiting for my pained expression at his mention of my full name that I loathed. He seemed to chuckle blackly to himself as he departed. Brat.
END OF CHAPTER 15