Chapter 16 - 317

Edward's POV:

Dark Butterfly ? Who the Hell am I ? I kept thinking as I walked away from her little house…this is not like me at all. I don't TALK to these girls. Well, the demon talks to them, as he taunts them during sexual play…but to discuss things with them about their life ? Hardly ever.

The last girl was Jess in 1984, the one who drove me to distraction. One who loathed me and who even tried to destroy me once. I had to let her go. I didn't WANT to. She was a demented toy to play with. But she had stepped over the line once too often. That last day with her, when she tried to stake me with a wooden spike…was the last straw. It was painless. And quick.

I didn't want things to end that way with Miss Swan. So far she seems to enjoy my company but she thinks I'm a mortal man in his twenties. And what kind of girl is excited about being the 317th slave in a pervert's lair ? She is.

I thought over the whole day before…it was almost sad to me to crush her heart the way I did, especially giving her to the Fagan girl. If looks could kill she would've leveled me right there. And it was a real surprise when Miss Swan went after Miss Fagan physically ! But the look in her eyes and the fury on her face…I almost drooled at the sight of it.

I was especially warm to the Fagan girl in front of Bella, just to plant that little seed of envy. With these girls it doesn't take much. And when I was cruel to her and she started to cry, my arms ached to reach out and hold her…but the demon inside me restrained me and kept playing his nasty little game.

Handing her over to Dr. Carlisle was a beautiful idea. At first, I thought the principal would've sufficed but I picked up on a bit of hostility on her part towards the good doctor so I thought that would burn more…having her evil Sir hand her over to the lily white Dr. Carlisle would be the ultimate betrayal.

In reality, this would never happen. Not unless I had some other agenda with the girl. For a moment I thought under different circumstances, I COULD just have Miss Swan confined in a mental ward and visit her there whenever I liked. But it wouldn't be the same. I liked having her in my gym class and going to school here. I was closer to my dungeons here anyway.

I put it out there in Dr. Carlisle's office that she would be restrained and possibly drugged, worked on…her father would be called and the police would surely become involved. I let all those thoughts swim around in her mind and I waited for her response. This would mean to her the end of her life as she knew it, the loss of her freedom, family…everything. It was a death sentence of sorts.

She did not tell Dr. Carlisle a word about me as I held her down in the chair. She has every reason to hate me now and I had just rejected her. Most girls would be singing like a canary…and many had in the beginning sold me out and told the story of Mr. Cullen, the sadist. But Miss Swan just sat there, silent, suffering alone in her secrets.

Some time had gone by before she gave any kind of protest, the one word NO the only thing she said in her defense. I shoved her back down, not wanting Dr. Carlisle to have a reason to physically put his hands on her.

Once I saw he was getting medication and my test was over with Miss Swan, I purposely released her and allowed her to escape.

At this point I was able to compel Dr. Carlisle and told him to sit down…none of this ever happened.

I heard Miss Swan running and I kept a far distance away, observing what she would do next. What followed was not acceptable.

She left the school and hitched a ride as far as the strange man in his van would take her. I slowly followed driving my own car, four vehicles back, watching...making sure she was not harmed, listening to the driver's mind the whole way. He was harmless, lucky for her.

By some miracle, she was dropped off at a 7-11 and was hanging out in front of the store, why I have no idea…but it wasn't long before the riff raff made an appearance. Three nit wits hung out with Miss Swan for awhile and they seemed to be very cozy together. Then they all walked to a liquor store, one of the boys using a fake ID…and they went into the city, looking for a new place to hang out. They found a tall office building and went up there to drink and God knows what else. Oh I knew. I could read the idiot's thoughts. And when Miss Swan was so drunk that she let them all touch her between the legs…I had to hold myself back from killing every one of them, including her…most of all, her.

Only one thing held me back. The blood. I would have it, one way or another. Yes, I was fond of the Swan girl but she was nothing next to the song her blood kept singing to my monster soul. In a way, I am also an addict, not caring about anything except the next high…the next drink. And Miss Swan was, right now, the best alcohol in the universe. I would not waste it over something as juvenile as this.

Miss Swan was devastated by what I did….and she's drunk, I told myself…this is not her. I have been drunk before, it was the same for me. I couldn't hold this against her…much.

I got lost in my thoughts and anger as she promised to fuck them all when she came right back.

And I didn't notice when she was climbing up on the ledge. The dopes didn't notice it either, they were so happy about getting their conquest that they lost track of her too.

Then I heard her telling her mother to catch her…that she was coming. Even at my top speed, I didn't make it there in time. She had not intended to jump yet, it looked like she stumbled backwards as she sang Hakuna Matata…a Disney song, really ? I had called to her but she ignored me and then fell.

Without hesitation, I leapt off the ledge and dove down into the air, following her little doll body as it free fell, her hair flapping in the wind. She was smiling and gave a little giggle as she spiraled towards her demise. I had to dig my nails into the glass surface of the building, to race past her and position myself beneath so I wouldn't hurt her. If she landed into me at this speed, she would be crushed as sure as landing on cement.

Once I had a hold of her, I landed on my feet on the pavement she almost burst open upon…and I ascended back up to where her little friends were, totally unaware that she'd even jumped.

And when she saw I was there, she didn't thank me for saving her. She looked at me with hate and heartbreak in her eyes, hitting me…wanting to hurt me in return. I understood that. I allowed it.

Then the lost boys started coming after me as I began to take Miss Swan home.

My guts were screaming for blood, to kill them with one slice of my arm through their necks. But Miss Swan was with me so I settled for what I did: I tore their fingers off. All of them, every finger including the thumbs. They had touched Miss Swan so I wanted them.

They're lucky those were the only appendages they lost.

The rest I expected…the anger, the hurt…I would explain it and show her why. And that she was, indeed, going to belong to me. She belonged to me from the first minute of gym class…she just didn't know it.

It made me feel happy when she was so thrilled that she was now a slave in training for me. Then at the same time something inside me felt heavy…she will not be pleased when she discovers what I am. That I'm a vampire. Would she be just as happy ? Would she be afraid of me like so many of the others? Only a twisted few found out what I was and were alright with it. But when they then saw my strength and what I could do to them….that brave feeling faded and then they tolerated me and what they had to do to please me. I wondered which way Miss Swan would go.

While caring for Miss Swan, I found myself talking to her more and more about everything. The more words she spoke, the more she drew me in. I could not read her mind so maybe that's why. A big part of me was aware that the Swan girl was something different from the others…but couldn't put a finger on it…but then SHE did. A nerd, she called herself. I didn't see her that way but then I remembered her in gym class…yes…she is a nerd in that way I guess.

Most of my girls were athletes, the stars of the school, the popular ones…but Miss Swan wasn't one of those. If I pictured her with glasses and without the haunting blood in her veins then yes, I guess she would be among the nerd population that I usually ignored. Smart girls…especially the super smart ones…would probably see right through me and figure out how to bring me down. I laughed, thinking that. It seems like a bad horror movie.

Maybe I should explore this nerd thing a bit more. Maybe I will give more of them a chance. It couldn't hurt. Miss Swan imagined herself freeing the nerd world with her admission into my little club…but in reality, maybe she just sold her people into slavery.

Thinking about it more, I supposed that I shared a little more with Miss Swan because maybe I'm not sure if she'll really live that long being mine. Now I know she has a death wish too. I didn't really mind that, though…I had tried so many times to destroy myself, both as a human and a vampire. Wanting an exit from this world was nothing to be ashamed of. It showed she was paying attention. This is a terrible world…at least it has been for me. I couldn't lecture someone her age to be strong and live while I would've taken my ticket out of here in a second if it was offered.

I was just angry because I almost lost the blood she carried inside her. I really did want to try to own Miss Swan for a long time…but wasn't entirely sure I could do it…just this weekend I almost drank her several times. I thought being around her a lot would lessen my want for the wine…but it just increased it.

But I decided I would try. I would try to keep Miss Swan alive, despite all the obstacles in the way.

And then another one fell into place…Miss Swan told me that she had killed someone. That's why she's here. That's why it was all covered up. Now I don't care that she killed someone, I was pleasantly surprised that she shared something else with me. What irritated me was her father. Her father covers it up, sends her away, rejected, and puts her into a school with 500 other girls living here ! I would have to get into Dr. Carlisle's head soon and see all that was there about Bella Swan. I'm sure he knows more than he's telling. No wonder Dr. Carlisle is after her so badly. Well sorry doctor…I got further with her in two days than you did in a week. You lose. She's mine now.

Well one thing was for sure. If things went south with Miss Swan then I could expose her little secret and then she would certainly go to jail. That would get rid of her and still save her from death I supposed…but I put that thought out of my mind. I was far too selfish a creature to give her away to prison. I wanted to toy with her myself…and I don't like to share my toys.

I got to work after lights out to visit Miss Fagan, to compel her so she'd not tell her story to anyone about today. She certainly had done well in making Miss Swan angry. But she lost the fight. She would pay for that. Miss Swan was half her size ! She was due for a good punishment anyway.

I would never tell Miss Swan but Miss Fagan would truly suffer for her sins today.

One thing that I never considered. Miss Swan asked if I have a favorite. And I guess I don't. Well right now it's probably her…in a few weeks it could be someone else. The thing is, my feelings don't last very long for one particular mortal. I couldn't tell her that but it was further proof that my heart is not human. And it's not alive. It doesn't work. And it never will.

I know that as old as I am, this sexual game with the humans should be beyond me, and old hat. But the truth is, it's the only thing that reminds me of being human. I don't feel truly alive until I'm with one of them.

Bella POV:

I was writing in my private notebook and it was like the pages were shocked but amazed at what I was writing today. I had written everything out completely, since my first day here…to today. Sir was how I referred to Mr. Cullen in my book.

I ended it off with these thoughts :

I know I just met him a week ago and this is crazy. I shouldn't feel what I feel so soon. But it's real to me. I can't keep doubting and second guessing what I feel. I've done that my whole life and it's made me a lost soul. Sir is right. I have to embrace who I am in all its wrongness, even if others might object or look at me in disgust. This is MY life. I make no apologies. This is me. Twisted, yea maybe. Dark ? Absolutely. But without the darkness there is no light, no sunrise, no sunset.

I am number 317. And I will be the fucking GREATEST 317 there ever was. I will make him forget numbers 1 – 316 and die trying to be the best thing he's ever owned. This is my life now. And I happily, nakedly, and defiantly stand here, proud and ready.

Sir is the only man on this earth who sees something in me, and doesn't ask me to hide it, or change it, or kill it. He likes my spirit and that almost erases all the pain I've felt all my life in feeling ashamed of who I am. I will give him anything he wants. He can take all of me. I'm his. I always will be.

Thank you, Hectate, for bringing me here…I thought you had abandoned me but now I see the bigger picture. You lead me right to him. You want me to be free and yet chained at the same time. You're a genius, girl.

I got a text from Jasper as I almost finished.

It said, "Sorry I haven't been around. My bitch mother took my phone."

I almost went to text him back but I stopped, not sure why. I was going to tell him about the emotional rollercoaster I'd been on these last few days but I knew Sir wouldn't like that and that Jazz would ask me if I was nuts, messing around with a teacher…he would be concerned and try to talk me out of this.

No. I'm not saying anything to anyone about any of this. Sir had seen that I would not betray him and tell my story to Dr. Carlisle and I would never do anything to tarnish his faith in me. I also knew that as hard as it was to get my 317 status, it could just as easily be taken away again.

I wanted to tell Sir that I'm not that girl that doesn't get the guy's attention and immediately jumps off a ledge. That's not me. This thing has been in me for a long time and it wasn't only because he had rejected me…that was just the cherry on top of my shit sundae. I didn't want him to see me as weak or pathetic. I would show him that I could be stronger than that.

I didn't recall a lot of what happened on that ledge but I just knew that I thought I was about to be committed or put in prison. The alcohol took over from there and I guess my brain just figured, better to be dead than locked up. I was locked up with Sir but that was different. I wanted to be his inmate.

I looked out my window and wondered where he was right now. Is he with someone else ? No, that would not be a problem for me. I would just savor the time I got with him and be glad for it. I couldn't be a little girl, I had to become a woman, mentally, physically. I looked up at this gigantic mountain over me and thought, "I can do this. I WILL do this."

The rest of the night went by quickly and without incident and I set my alarm for the next day, laying down to go to bed. I wondered what Sir meant…everything is erased. Dr. Carlisle would surely remember the whole me attacking another student thing. What if he stuck me in one of those soft rooms ? Would Sir come and get me out ?

I tried to quiet my raging brain and put my earbuds in, listening to my music, dreaming of tomorrow when I would see his eyes again.

"I told you she was just a bomb waiting to go off.", Mr. Cullen's voice was saying as he walked beside me, his fists in the straightjacket I was wearing. I was yanking and trying to stop myself from sliding on the slick floor but my bare feet had no traction.

Dr. Carlisle was on the other side of me, walking and holding my jacket sleeve too.

"Her father said it might've been just a one time incident.", Dr. Carlisle informed calmly, as I saw a long dimly lit white hallway before me, so many hospital rooms.

"Well it's not.", Mr. Cullen argued, "Now Miss Fagan is dead, have fun explaining that to her parents. Her father is a fucking Mayor."

"No, I didn't kill her !", I argued, my fighting hardly stopping them at all, "She was alright, the nurse took her !"

"Quiet, Swan.", Mr. Cullen frowned as he gave me a jerk with his hands, "You've done enough. You could've behaved but you went nuts again. Now the only thing that can help you is shock therapy."

"NO !", I tried to fight harder, trying to make my legs go dead so I'd sink to the floor, "LET ME GO !"

"Which room, Carlisle ?", Mr. Cullen asked.

"Here.", he nodded and they dragged me inside.

"Mr. Cullen !", I pleaded, "PLEASE DON'T !"

He ignored me and they brought me to a metal table, those awful brown medical cuffs waiting on them.

"Put her down here.", Dr. Carlisle instructed and they lifted me, placing me onto my back.

"Strap her down there.", Dr. Carlisle nodded towards my head as he began to lift my legs into a set of metal stirrups, and he buckled my ankles with the medical cuffs.

Mr. Cullen shoved my head down and a long rubber strap was being placed over my forehead, and then tightly buckled down. I looked up at him and his eyes were so cold…he didn't hate me…no worse…I meant nothing to him at all.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen.", Dr. Carlisle said to him, "It was good of you to bring her to me. Hopefully someday I can help her."

I looked down and he was using a pair of hospital shears to cut up the leg of my jeans.

Mr. Cullen slowly came over to him and helped rip the remainder of that leg apart…the entire side torn now up to the top at my waist.

"It was the right thing to do.", Mr. Cullen said, "Poor Miss Fagan. If only I got there in time. But Swan was out of control."

"She's NOT dead !", I screamed, trying to struggle as Dr. Carlisle started cutting the other leg of my jeans off, "Mr. Cullen !"

Mr. Cullen sighed and asked, "Where's that gag ?"

"Top drawer.", he answered as I felt the other side of my jeans coming apart…and now only my panties were on.

"Got it.", Mr. Cullen said, as if bored.

"No wait…Mr. Cullen!", I screamed as he came over to me, standing over my head as he stuck this hard, long thing into my mouth…

"Lift your tongue, Swan.", he ordered with a calm voice as I choked, "Lift your tongue and place it in the-"

"Jesus this girl can't do shit right.", he muttered and pushed on the underside of it until my tongue did pop into something hard and tight.

"There you go.", he smiled down at me, buckling the strap over my lips, the rubber pressing hard against my face, his hand tapping my face three times.

I hated this thing and I roared as Mr. Cullen said, "That's better."

I felt my panties being snipped off at the corners by Dr. Carlisle. He tossed them to Mr. Cullen and joked, "Here you go…you can add it to your collection."

Mr. Cullen gave a smirk and said, "Thanks. She DOES smell nice."

Dr. Carlisle had a little device that he was speaking into, "Subject 317, Swan, Bella. The subject has become violent and has murdered a classmate. As her attending, I will be injecting some Diazapan to calm her and then I will be introducing electric shock therapy in small doses."

I was screaming through this foul tasting thing in my mouth that held my tongue but neither of them paid any attention at all.

"Such a shame.", Mr. Cullen looked down at me, "She was kinda cute."

WAS ?!

"She's still cute.", Dr. Carlisle gave a warm smile, taking notes, "She's just mentally disturbed."

Mr. Cullen walked around to stand next to Dr. Carlisle as he wiped my inner thigh with something very cold and said, "Miss Swan, you will feel a small prick here."

"NNNNNNN", I was trying to fight but not doing much at all but making noise.

Something DID feel sharp and bit there and I jumped, struggling harder.

"Nap time.", Mr. Cullen said to me, a little grin on his lips.

"Hey Doc.", Mr. Cullen said to him, "We can play with this one, right ? Her father is hours away."

"Why not ?", he shrugged, smiling back at him.

I watched in horror as they both started touching me, fingers spreading my lips apart…other fingers moving up and down around my clitoris…I was muffled but roaring as they took their sweet time.

"Cute little pink clit…", Dr. Carlisle commented.

"Taste it , it's wonderful.", Mr. Cullen suggested.

Then I felt a mouth on my pussy and a tongue…Mr. Cullen was looking at me so it wasn't him doing that.

I was screaming and crying as he moaned and licked and sucked, Mr. Cullen watching it all.

"I think she likes it Doc.", he chuckled to Dr. Carlisle.

"Do you like it, Swan ?", he was coming over to my head, taking a fistful of my hair.

I felt Carlisle's fingers moving in and out inside me…I kept screaming to Mr. Cullen to help me but he didn't understand me.

"Aww you don't like that gag, do you honey ?", Mr. Cullen tilted his head, "How about we put something else in your mouth?"

Before I knew it, he was straddling my face and he yanked the gag out of my mouth, off my tongue. He put it around my neck and pulled it tight, the end of the loop in his hand. I gasped for air and opened my mouth and he stuck his cock deep into my mouth.

He put all his weight on my face and his legs pinned around my head he started moving up and down in my mouth, driving down forcefully until it did choke me and enter the back of my throat.

"Oh yea…", he purred, "Suck it…NO TEETH.", he yanked the belt around my neck and everything squeezed around my throat…air was denied to me again.

"Do it right, Swan.", Mr. Cullen complained, "For once in your life, do it right."

I choked and gagged and the more I did, the more Mr. Cullen seemed to enjoy himself.

"I love it when girls choke on my cock. That's my favorite sound in the world.", he kept going as I felt something entering my pussy now…Dr. Carlisle ?!

I began to feel drowsy and it was hard to keep my eyes open.

"There she goes.", Mr. Cullen watched my face as it began to fall asleep, "Bye bye Bella."

I could still feel them touching me, doing things to me but I was paralyzed and unable to do or say much at all….only faint mutterings…they ignored.

When I opened my eyes again I saw Mr. Cullen standing between my legs, pounding into me with a scowl as Dr. Carlisle stood at my head and had my ankles one in each hand, spreading me and holding my legs up while Mr. Cullen drove into me.

Then I felt Dr. Carlisle sticking his penis into my mouth while Mr. Cullen kept pumping and slamming into me.

At another point, I heard a dentist's drill and when I opened my eyes my mouth was being held open by some plastic thing and Mr. Cullen was drilling into my back tooth.

I looked down and saw my naked breasts were out of the straightjacket but the arms and binds were still holding me in place.

"Noooo", my voice was so weak and small.

"Oh yesss.", Mr. Cullen mocked sympathy as he decided to plunge his large shaft into my asshole next.

"UUUGGGGGHHHHH !", I cried out as he smiled down at me.

Another time my eyes opened, they were both there, one on each breast, licking and sucking…biting me.

Then they were manipulating my nipples with their fingers and sticking little needles through them.

Then they were putting little electrodes on my breasts and shocking my breasts and then moved onto my pussy lips, attaching wires and taking turns with the remote control that sent little zaps into my body as I screamed and jerked like a puppet on her strings.

"Oooh that was a nice jolt.", Mr. Cullen grinned darkly, "A few years of this and maybe she'll be cured."

"I doubt it.", Dr. Carlisle said as I growled in agony, my body arched up as the fire still pumped through my veins.

"She will probably eventually be lobotomized.", Dr. Carlisle looked over me, adjusting the wires, "Then just a vegetable. You can have her then if you like."

"What do I want with her then ?", Mr. Cullen frowned.

"Let's give her some of this.", Dr. Carlisle put a plastic piece over my nose and mouth, and held it tight to my face as Mr. Cullen started biting my clit.

"Breathe Bella.", Dr. Carlisle said, "Don't fight it. Breathe in….and out….that's right. You're my good girl."

"Come here, Doc.", Mr. Cullen said, "I've got a great idea. Both of us at the same time."

"UUGGGHHH !", I jerked and opened my eyes, gasping…I was in the dark now. Alone. Oh fuck. In my room. Thank God.

I touched my body and felt I had clothes on….I was alright.

And my first thought ? Damn that was HOT ! Something is seriously wrong with me. I'll have to write that dream down in my journal !

I tried to get back into that dream a few times later that night but all I could see was Mr. Cullen folding a tablecloth over and over again. Weird.

When my alarm went off, I was glad I was early getting ready for school. I was able to get a shower before the other girls. I didn't want them to see my still very visible marks everywhere. They weren't hurting as much but they looked hideously hot and I decided I loved them. I had a bottle of water since I was allowed nothing else and I did see the lady, I guess our House Mother, who gave me the detention the other day.

"Oh hi.", I said, "I'm sorry about detention. I had like a kind of emergency but I can do it…"

She looked confused.

"What detention, dear ?", she asked.

"Oh.", I frowned a bit, "Uh, never mind…I don't know…"

I walked away quickly, wondering what that was all about. Today has been erased, came to my mind. That's what Edward had said to me. How did he do THAT ? Is everyone here afraid of him too ? Are they pretending ?

I dreaded it but I went to Dr. Carlisle's office at 9am, just to see if he still wanted to see me at that time alone. He did.

He said nothing at all about the Fagan bitch or my strangling her, or Mr. Cullen bringing me in…nothing. It was all generic questions about my life…my past…blah blah blah…nothing earth shattering. This is how shrinks start out, getting your boring details…then when you start to doze off they come at you.

Every time Dr. Carlisle moved or reached for something, I jumped inside. I knew it was a dream but crap. My body still wasn't positive. I kind of laughed to myself about it and then went about the rest of my day.

I caught up with Alice during lunch and she asked where I had been all weekend.

"I had a school project.", I told her.

"Well we should totally hang out next weekend.", she offered, "We can go shopping or go out to lunch somewhere in town. We're allowed."

"Um", I said, "Yea, maybe. That would be cool."

I knew I would be busy…or I hoped I would be anyway, locked up with Mr. Cullen somewhere. Oh please let me be. I hated shopping and it was a real temptation not to shoplift in cool stores like Hot Topic or Spencer's. I'm sure Alice isn't into those stores. We'd probably be shopping in some French boutique. Yuk. I'd rather be force fed cat food by my smoking hot Master thank you very much.

I felt sad thinking that my friendship with Alice might not go anywhere past this, having lunch and talking about our day. Especially if I had to behave myself, that would be boring. I can't even tell her about my hot dream with Mr. Cullen and Dr. C because she might blab it all over school…and if Mr. Cullen heard it…fuck…no no no.

Then I wondered if Alice was one of the 316. She was sure a lot prettier than I am, and fun. There'd be no way I could ask her though. That would be tacky. What if she wasn't ? I remembered, though a couple times, Mr. Cullen had her by the ear and then once he was yelling at her in his office. Hmmm.

I shouldn't even be wondering this, it's not right. I should just be cool about it and be glad that I'm in and leave it at that.

It looked like she didn't remember anything about Fagan either, or me snapping on her. She didn't bring it up once. I tested her and asked, "Did you hear anything about how that girl, Fagan, is doing ?"

She thought about it, confused, and said, "Kylie Fagan ? In OUR class ? She's ok she's in my French class. Why what happened to her ?"

"Nothing.", I shook my head, "I guess I heard a rumor then…no big deal."

What voodoo is this ?

I couldn't concentrate on anything at all except gym class coming up. At this rate I'll fail all my classes.

Who cares ?

When I carefully sat on the gym floor that day, I realized that even today I was still nervous and afraid of him. Mr. Cullen gym teacher was still just as scary as Sir.

The last time here was terrible, I felt like my heart was torn out of my chest and stomped on…then handed to Fagan bitch. Would I ever be comfortable here ?

I tensed when Fagan came into the class, talking to her friends. They paid me no attention and she didn't even look my way. She IS fine. What the fuck ? There aren't even any hand marks on her neck. Damn it. Am I going nuts ? That's a strong possibility.

I flashed on the dream of Mr. Cullen and Dr. Carlisle dragging me down the hall and I felt a little tingle.

I pictured Mr. Cullen's face laying softly against my stomach…his eyes closing...those mile long eyelashes so black against his ivory skin…his full lips, pink and wet…smiling peacefully. My hand curled in that fuckable messed up hair of his….

"SWAN!", his voice jolted me.

All the other girls were standing up, doing jumping jacks…and I was still sitting on the floor. A couple of them laughed at me.

"Will you be joining us today ?", he asked, his voice still as cruel as ever, his eyes even more deadly as they burned into mine.

"Sorry Mr. Cullen !", I winced a bit and jumped up, joining the other girls.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, turning away.

I didn't want to act like the dreamy eyed dope staring at him in class and I had already blown it.

When he blew his whistle and we were warmed up, he told the girls just like the last day here that they were going to do pass and run drills. This is déjà vu. I AM losing my mind.

"Miss Fagan.", he called, "Miss Swan. Back court."

Oh this is spooky. Am I trapped in one of those loops where the day repeats over and over again ?

Only this time Mr. Cullen didn't ask her about her shitty weekend. Thank the fucking Christ.

He just said, "Miss Fagan. Work out Swan. Be as tough on her as you like."

And he gave me that same face again, the raised brows as he walked away without another word.

She once again relished the pleasure she got from sprinting me around….only this time I would show him that I could handle it. I would not be jealous. I would not strike out at the bitch, even though she deserved it. At one point, I even told her, "This is great. What else can I do ?"

"The bleachers ?", I asked, "Cool. Got it Kylie."

I was nice to the giant bitch and it stole her power over me. Who says you can't learn anything from Groundhog Day ?

I thought at one moment Mr. Cullen was smiling at me as he glanced back but I could've been just wishing for that.

I did the bleachers without falling once…and I picked my legs up high with each step, making myself believe I was doing it for him…to make him proud of me. And like magic I was doing great. Maybe it is in my head, this not being good at sports thing. Maybe I'm my own worst enemy. Maybe I should pay attention to these wooden bleachers before I kill myself.

"That's not bad, Swan.", she said, sounding defeated, "Keep going."

"This is fun.", I commented, going back up the bleachers…

If this happens again tomorrow I'll have to think up something else to do…

The bell rang and everyone kept moving until Mr. Cullen blew the whistle.

"Dismissed.", he said, not looking up as he came over to our court.

"How'd she do Miss Fagan ?", Mr. Cullen asked her and she gave a little jump as he slapped a hand over her shoulder.

I watched them but saw nothing else strange about it.

"She did very well, Mr. Cullen.", she peeked up at him, smiling a little as I slowly walked up to them, hanging back a bit.

"Good.", he took his hand off her and she swallowed, standing there. Not moving until he gave her the word.

"Nice job, Swan.", he said without a smile but also without a sneer, "I thought for sure you'd break your neck on those bleachers."

"Goodbye, Miss Fagan.", he looked at her, waiting. His tone was unemotional.

"Goodbye, Mr. Cullen.", she scurried off.

My eyes squinted against my will but I put them right back to normal as he moved his finger, motioning me closer.

"Yes Mr. Cullen ?", I came forward timidly.

"Your new list.", he tore a page out of his clipboard and handed it to me, "Memorize it. In case you get hungry again."

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, thank you.", I took it gingerly from his fingers. Did I really EAT the list ? I couldn't remember. I'm a brat when I drink. And a slut. And a suicidal mess. Mental note: don't drink.

"No more screwups with that food list.", he warned with a calm voice, "I'm serious."

"No more screwups…", I repeated, "Mr. Cullen."

Well at least not with the food list anyway. I hope.

"Detention at 3.", he reminded, writing something on his clipboard paper, "Here on the wall as usual."

"Yes, Mr. Cullen.", it almost hurt to look at him he was so dazzling.

I kept seeing him and Dr. Carlisle sharing me like a mute plaything.

"Dismissed, 317.", he smirked at me, nodding his head away towards the girls locker room.

I couldn't hide my smile as I saluted with two fingers and ran off, knowing he was watching my very awkward run.

"Oh my God.", I heard him mutter as he watched me.

Well, it's half his fault I won't be able to walk straight for a month after last weekend.

As I got dressed I was proud that I had done the day better this time…and he was pleased with me. Maybe that was the whole point. Maybe he DID smile at me earlier as I did my bleacher run from Hell.

But how did he erase all that from everyone's mind ? This was weird. And Miss Fagan, usually Mr. Cullen's pet, looked nervous and even a little scared of him just now. She's gotta be part of his thing.

Why do I keep wondering about this ? I've gotta stop. Even if she is it's none of my business. I had to do better being cool about this. Maybe in time.

Would I be treated like the Fagan bitch someday ? Watching him flirt with new girls while I was dismissed like I was nothing ? Man…suddenly I felt sorry for the Fagan bitch…almost.

No wonder she was so rotten to me the other day.

END OF CHAPTER 16