"You wanted to see me, sir?" Furey said as he walked through the door to Roy's private office.

"Ah, yes, sit down Furey," Mustang said as he motioned to one of the chairs in front of his desk. Furey took a seat. "You know where Lieutenant Hawkeye lives, correct?"

Behind his glasses, Furey blinked a few times. "Ummm... yes, sir. I'll walk Hayate for her on occasion when she is unable to leave the office on time."

"Good. I have a favor to ask of you. Hawkeye's birthday is the 2nd and I've arranged for a birthday cake to be prepared the morning of by the bakery down the street from her place. Anthony's, do you know the one? I need you to pick up the cake before coming into work that day and drop it off at her apartment. It's a surprise, so don't say anything. You know where she keeps the emergency key, correct?"

"Yes," Furey said. "But if it's a surprise, why am I bringing the cake to her apartment? Doesn't that seem… a bit obvious?"

Roy smirked. "It's the best place to hide it. The Lieutenant will be at work all day because she has continually denied my suggestions to take the day off. On top of that, all we have to do is show up on her doorstep after work. No need to try and trick her into joining us at a bar or cafe."

"You know Hawkeye hates when we make a fuss over her birthday, sir," Furey said cautiously. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes," said Roy, his tone serious. He paused for a moment and it was clear that his mind had traveled away from the conversation. "There was a point when… well, when I was convinced she wasn't going to see another day, let alone another birthday. That's worth celebrating, in my opinion."

Hawkeye and Mustang had remained in the hospital for two weeks caring for their injuries. She had lost a lot of blood and it took almost a week before climbing down the hospital stairs stopped making her dizzy. Roy had spent weeks with his hands bandaged, not knowing until almost a month later if he was going to regain use of his left thumb.

But the real obstacle was the emotional one. Guilt had rattled through Riza's mind at all hours as she forced herself to accept the reality that for one genuine minute, Roy had been willing to perform the ultimate taboo to save her. Roy found himself dreaming of Riza drowning in a river of her own blood, terrified that he had been so close to losing her.

'Yes," said Fuery, pulling Roy back into the conversation. "I guess a small birthday celebration is what everyone needs. It should lighten the mood before leaving for Ishval at the end of next month. But sir, why are you asking me now? Her birthday isl two weeks away."

"Because it's Hawkeye. It's better I arrange this now. The closer we get to her birthday, the more likely she is to figure it out."

"That makes sense. Is there anything else I can assist you with, sir?"

Roy shook his head. "You are dismissed, Master Sergeant."

/-/-/

The days passed by uneventfully as Roy's team began to prepare for their departure to Ishval. They had assembled a crew of soldiers, many willing volunteers who had offered their services to Roy in hopes of making a true difference, and were beginning to father all the supplies they would need for a year in the desert. Late nights became routine and before Roy knew it, it was the evening before Riza's birthday.

"I think we should call it a night, Lieutenant," Roy said with a smile. "I can drive you home."

Riza looked up from the expenditure report she had been reviewing. "We aren't finished, sir."

"Let me rephrase that, then. We are calling it a night, Lieutenant. I will be driving you home."

Riza's eyebrows raised as she gave Roy an incredulous look. "My birthday isn't until tomorrow, sir."

Roy smirked. He stood up and began to put on his coat. "Have it your way, but there may or may not be a surprise waiting for you at my house."

"What happened to you driving me home?" Riza asked coyly as she silently gave in and began to put on her coat.

"I never said whose home."

Riza rolled her eyes, but said nothing as she followed the General out of the room. Every year, like clockwork, he would feign stealth and arrange a ridiculous celebration on her behalf. While Riza found his attempts at surprising her amusing, she had grown up in a no-nonsense household, with the attitude translating to her birthday as well. She didn't need the fancy gifts or lavish, home cooked, candlelight dinners. All she needed was Roy.

She told him so every year and every year he ignored her.

They arrived at his rent house and Roy's eagerness was tangible. He gave Riza a mischievous smile as he unlocked the door, only to swing it open and have his face fall in horror at the sight.

The entire house was flooded and water rushed through the open door, soaking the shoes of the two startled soldiers.

"What the fuck?" Roy said, his eyes wide. They walked inside and after a brief investigation, discovered a kitchen pipe had burst.

"Can you fix this with alchemy?" Riza asked.

"I could," Roy said as he desperately evaluated the state of his living room. "But my lease requires me to inform my landlord of any necessary repairs before I do. He likes to decide if it's worth the insurance claim or not. And after last time with the stove… I'd rather not risk being evicted."

"You need to buy a house," Riza essentially ordered. "Soon. What General in the Amestrian military still rents a one bedroom townhome?"

Roy rubbed his hands through his hair, clearly bested. "You're right. This may just be the stick that broke the camel's back." He sighed. "Let me grab a few things and make a few calls and we can head to your place. I couldn't stay here if I wanted to."

An hour later, the pair walked through the doors to Riza's studio apartment.

"So, what's this surprise you promise back at the office?" Riza asked, hoping to distract Roy from the disarray that was his home.

"Oh, that," he groaned. "That was just to trick you into leaving the office. Your birthday isn't until tomorrow, after all."

Riza looked over at the small clock hanging on the wall. "It's almost midnight, sir."

"Well…" Roy said, his eyes growing dark as they scanned up and down her figure. "I can think of one way to celebrate."

Riza rolled her eyes but followed him to the bed, a smile on her face.

/-/-/

Riza woke up with Roy's arms wrapped around her waist, holding her flush against his chest. She looked over at the clock on her bedroom wall- 6 am, as usual.

As she moved to get up to start her day, Roy instinctively tightened his grip on her.

"No, stay," he muttered without opening his eyes.

"Roy, I have to take Hayate out," Riza said softly.

"Okay, but then I expect you back in bed," the general grumbled.

"No, then we get ready for work."

"But it's your birthday!"

"You're trying to use my own birthday against me again?"

Roy begrudgingly opened one of his eyes. "Riza, I told everyone at the office that you had a mandatory birthday breakfast with your grandfather. They aren't expecting us until at least 10 am. You will let Hayate out and then you will get back in this bed and into my arms."

"That's rather irresponsible, sir."

"What is the team going to do? Ask the Fuhrer for proof?"

Riza frowned at Roy's admittance of his lie to the team, but knew that any efforts to argue further would be futile. Showing up to the office on time would only expose his deception. She silently decided to lecture him about his recklessness tomorrow and take the rare opportunity to enjoy today.

Fifteen minutes later, she crawled back into bed and was immediately enveloped by Roy. His body heat lulled her back into a deep sleep.

She slept for another two hours, only stirred from her dream when Roy's lips gently began trailing down the back of her neck as his hands roamed the curve of her waist.

"Happy birthday, love," Roy said mischievously. He bent down to kiss her collarbone. "Are you ready for the first half of your present?"

"What was last night, then?" Riza asked, a smile on her face.

"Warm up." Roy rolled Riza onto her back, placing himself above her. He bent down and gave her a long, passionate kiss and she groaned into his mouth. His hands roamed her body as they undressed.

"How do you want it, Riza?" Roy teased as he bit her ear. "It's your birthday. I'll do anything you like."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

Riza giggled before flipping Roy over onto his back, taking him by surprise. She smirked and grabbed his chin, holding it firmly as she met his gaze. "Then you're going to sit back and let me use you until I'm good and satisfied. Don't you dare cum until I say you can. Understand, General?"

"Yes, ma'am," Roy groaned at her words, practically melting as she eased him inside her. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to fully enjoy Riza's display of dominance, her hips beginning to move in that dangerous way that drove him wild.

The two were so consumed in each other that they did not hear the sound of the front door latch clicking.

"OH MY GOD!"

"AHHH!"

"SHIT!"

In perfect unison, Roy and Riza turned to face their intruder. Standing in the doorway of Riza's studio, looking shell-shocked, was Kain Fuery.

In panic, Roy practically threw Riza off of him as he fumbled to put as much distance between himself and his favorite subordinate, as though it would somehow help. Riza threw him a hostile glare as she almost fell off the side of the bed, desperately pulling at the cotton sheets to cover her naked body.

And yet, for all the panic in their eyes, Fuery was handling the situation much worse.

The birthday cake he had been carrying was on the floor, smashed in a buttercream splatter that spread across the entryway and onto both Fuery and the walls. He was frozen, as though he had discovered a poltergeist and it had immediately sucked out his soul, leaving only the shell of his body.

Riza half expected him to faint.

"Well this is unfortunate," Roy said after a while, the casual tone of his voice clearly forced.

"What- How- When…" Fuery stumbled.

"I think we permanently broke him, sir," Riza said quietly, low enough for only Roy to hear. "Are you okay Master Sergeant?" She finally asked.

Fuery seemed to collect himself at this question and turned to look at Roy, eyes heated. "You told me to bring the cake here!"

Riza turned to Roy, her eyes burning with rage. "You told him WHAT?"

"Um," Roy stuttered. "I told Fuery to pick up your birthday cake and hide it here. The last place you'd expect me to hide it would be your own refrigerator, right Lieutenant?"

"Oh don't 'right Lieutenant' me! Please explain why Fuery is in my house knowing full well we are here and what we had planned to do."

Roy looked over at Fuery who was still standing in the ruined cake, eyes frantically hurrying back and forth between his two still-naked commanding officers. "As you can see, I forgot."

"No shit you forgot!"

"I might have told him weeks ago. I believe I wanted to throw you off the scent." Riza threw him another incredulous look. "What? How was I supposed to know the pipes in my kitchen were going to burst!"

Riza put her head in her hands, messaging her forehead with her thumbs. No one spoke for a while before she finally looked up. "Kain, do you mind waiting in the hallway for the General and I to get dressed? Don't go anywhere. Obviously, we need to talk."

Ten minutes later, the trio gathered around the dining table as Riza prepared a pot of tea. The ruined cake had been hastily cleaned up and tossed in the trash.

"Okay," Roy said awkwardly. He was unsure how to start. "I guess-"

"Who else knows?" Furey interrupted.

Riza sighed. "Roy's aunt, Rebecca Catalina and, once, Maes Hughes."

"How long?" Fuery asked.

"Does it matter?" Roy asked.

"Sir, he just caught us in a compromising position- thanks to you- the least we can do is answer Fuery's questions."

Roy sighed, relenting. "The first time? Oh about six months, but Riza wasn't in the military yet. This go-round… shortly after Ishval."

Furey nodded, absorbing his words. He suspected as much. "If this ever gets out, you're going to make someone in the office pool very wealthy."

"Office pool?" Riza's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah." Fuery only shrugged. "Everyone basically knows. It would take a lot to convince the team otherwise. If it's any reassurance, no one has any concrete evidence- well until now- so a few of us thought the Lieutenant kept you grounded, sir. That you two were all talk and no action."

"You understand you can't tell anyone, Kain," Riza said.

"Oh I would never. Honestly, there is nothing I want more than to forget everything I just saw here. I can't stress how much I wish that." Fuery zoned out for a brief moment, before shuddering to himself and returning to Roy and Riza.

They chatted for a few more minutes and once Roy and Riza were confident their youngest subordinate was unlikely to suffer extensive mental trauma, they bid him good day, informing Fuery that they would be in the office within the next hour and that if he needed too, he could take the morning off and report in after lunch.

Once he had left, Roy turned to Riza. "I'm not sure how that could have been worse."

"I can," Riza said simply. "He could have noticed the tattoo."

"You think he didn't?" Roy frowned. In his panic, the tattoo's discovery had not crossed his mind once.

Riza shrugged. "The bed is at an angle. He may have, but I know Kain. He would have asked. He was probably distracted by the fact we were fucking. And naked. Regardless, I may ask him later down the road once he's… recovered a little. I don't think we have to worry about him saying anything even if he did see but didn't want to ask. He looked like he would rather die than admit what he saw to anyone."

For the tenth time that morning, Roy put his head in his hands. "What a way to start your birthday. I'm sorry, Riza."

"Don't be, I still have your surprise, remember?" She smiled softly.

Roy looked up at her, his face transformed. "That's right." He stood up and walked over to his coat hanging by the door of her studio. Reaching inside one of the pockets, he pulled out a small black box. "Before you lecture me, it's not a ring," he said, addressing the weary expression on Riza's face.

Riza tentatively took the box from his hands and opened it to find two small lapel pins sitting on black velvet.

"The ceremony isn't until next week, but I got Grumman's permission to give this to you today. Congratulations, Captain Hawkeye."

Riza's eyes grew wide and she leaned forward, planting a thankful kiss on Roy's mouth. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't thank me, you've earned this. Fully. Now, get ready. We need to stop by the bakery at the street corner before we get to the office."

"Why?"

Roy's laugh was full of guilt. "I may or may not have invited the team over for an impromptu birthday party tonight after work. That's why Fuery was delivering your cake. If they show up and the cake is suddenly missing, they may start asking questions."

"ROY!"