this is quite a heavy chapter with Mal, Robin, and David, I swear the next one will be a bit lighter lol
Over the next couple of days a tension set onto the Locksley-Mills household. Robin needn't have worried about David taking out his pain on the younger kids, all three of them had talked to him multiple times and had said that David seemed sad but was nice, Robin on the other hand barely saw him, he saw him at some meals but then David would disappear back up to his room, on the second day Robin went up to encourage him to come down (largely at Regina's urging) and found David curled up asleep, a phone call to a doctor friend confirmed that the pain pills were probably what were knocking him for six.
He and Regina kept an eye on the pills, he didn't think David would do something, but he had been through a lot, he didn't show any signs of that though, in fact he seemed to avoid taking the tablets until he looked so bad that Regina and Robin forced them upon him.
Robin had told both himself and Regina he was trying to give David his space but really he was a little shell shocked himself, he had sworn to David that he wanted him there and that he was going to be the dad David hadn't had, but truth be told he didn't know where to start in becoming a dad to David. He had had time with the other kids, they had all been young when they were adopted, things were a lot easier, what was the standard procedure in looking after your traumatised long lost son?
It had been easier over the weekend, he felt less bad giving David himself in the full house, but come Monday it would be the two of them alone in the big house and neither would be able to disguise their avoidance.
Robin sighed as he poured himself a scotch, he had online lesson plans to sort out, one of his colleagues would be taking over his seminars and lectures until David was at school and Robin could return to work, so Robin was stuck compiling powerpoints and answering emails, his two least favourite parts of being a teacher.
He had just settled down on the couch with several stacks of paper and his scotch, and clicked the channel to watch the highlights of that week's english premier league football when a knock sounded on the door.
At first he thought he had imagined it, but then it happened again, he glanced at the clock on the mantle to confirm it really was midnight before going to answer the door.
When he got to the door and opened it, it took him a solid minute to place the face in the context of the past few days, and it being midnight, and the rain bouncing on the driveway.
"Hey Robin," Mallory De Vane smiled at him as he stared at her open mouthed, "you going to invite me in?"
Her words filled him with anger, he clenched his jaw and balled one of his hands into a fist. "You better come in, we have a lot to talk about."
David hadn't meant to fall asleep so quickly after dinner but between the pain and the medication he had fallen asleep before he had even changed out of the clothes he had worn that day, not that he had really done anything else. But the pain had woken him up again, He glanced towards his door, the light in the gap between the door and the floor meant that either Regina or Robin were still awake. He dreaded the stairs and the awkward interactions guaranteed no matter which was alive, but he needed more pain relief.
As he stood he caught sight of himself in the mirror, he was in what must have been Robin's clothes, they were much too big but they were more comfortable than the ones his social worker had given him. He couldn't help but feel like a kid in his dad's too big clothing. Not that he saw Robin as a dad at all, he grimaced suddenly hating that thought and the expression.
His hair was longer than it had been for a while, Ruth usually cut his and James' hair but they hadn't had time recently. He scrubbed his hand through it as he took in all his injuries from the crash. The main problem had been internal bleeding from being thrown from the car, along with a pretty bad concussion, now his main problem was the slow recovery particularly his shoulder and his left leg, he had been told he would need physiotherapy, but that was when he was in Pittsburgh, not in a small town in Maine. But it was impossible to care about anything anymore, after all, he got off easy.
He slowly made his way out of his room and down the stairs feeling more than useless, and hoping no one would try to make conversation with him when he got there.
Robin downed his scotch and poured another, they had moved to the kitchen but he didn't offer Mal a drink, she helped herself to one and he didn't stop her, he was watching her carefully through slitted eyes trying to detect any sign of her betrayal, but there wasn't.
Mal downed a shot of tequila before finally looking Robin fully in the eye. "Okay, go on."
Robin's eyebrows shot up into his hair. "'Go on'? 'Go on'?! That's all you've got to say? Jesus Mallory you couldn't sound less interested if you tried!" He placed his empty glass onto the counter a little heavier than he had intended.
"Well, sorry I don't sound more enthusiastic for you, Professor Mills, my sister did die the other day."
Robin was completely unaffected by her poisonous tone. "Well I would be more sympathetic Mal, but I currently have your nephew living with me - oh wait - he's actually our son!" He watched her flinch and couldn't find it in himself to feel bad.
She let out a small sigh. "I should have told you, I've thought about doing so plenty of times over the years, I should have told you."
"You shouldn't have given him away in the first place!" Robin snapped.
The kitchen fell into a dead silence. Mal was staring at him in shock and Robin was fairly certain he was shocked himself. But was he really? Sure he barely knew the kid but he was still his kid, he had been through a lot, and apparently the start of his life hadn't been that easy either.
"You had just got your job at the DA's office, you and Gina were busy making lovey eyes at each other, when you weren't working all the hours humanly possible, that is. How could you have looked after a baby?"
"I would have changed, I would have changed my specialisation, or I could have gotten into teaching sooner; I could have taken some time off or-"
"Moved in with your father?" She raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow, looking more like David that Robin had realised.
Robin's eyes dropped to the countertop and he let out a heavy sigh. When he finally looked back up at Mal his eyes stung with tears which hadn't yet formed and his anger had faded. "I would have done anything. And I would have supported you, Gina would have supported you, did anyone know?"
"Ruth." Mal said simply. Robin had known her long enough to know that her parents had died when she was in her second semester of college. "We had an aunt who I used to lodge with during the breaks but she wasn't exactly warm and cuddly. I never wanted a baby, Ruthie already had James, she knew that I didn't want a baby, she told me that if I had it she'd take it and pass it off as Robert's, it's not like that idiot would notice."
"David."
"What?"
"Not it, David."
She blinked a few times. "I know. I know, I didn't mean it like that."
"What happened then? Did Robert find out?" He watched Mal fidget uncomfortably.
"Mal, spit it out." He growled, he knew it was stupid, that David was asleep upstairs, that he wasn't in any danger, but he felt the sudden need to go and check on him, to have him in his sight.
"I didn't know when I gave i- the baby, to Ruth that Robert wasn't really a bricklayer, he had fallen in with a bad crowd, he became part of a gang, a pretty vicious one, and sold drugs, and he took them himself. He also had a problem with alcohol, he drank too much and got mad at Ruth, and the baby- the boys. I didn't know until like five years ago!"
"What! How could you not know? Why didn't Ruth-" he shook his head at all of it, at the idea of any kid living around that sort of situation "Why did she take David it that was going on?"
"He hadn't been that bad. And she had a miscarriage before you and I hooked up, she was such a good mom I swear, and she left Robert, eventually."
"After ten years of my-, of David, what? Living in a Breaking Bad episode?"
"I didn't know, I barely saw Ruth before she ran away and she didn't keep me involved in where she was moving. Anyway, you know me, I was working: I moved on."
Robin let out a scoffing laugh. "So you just moved on and what? Forgot about our son? Set up me and Regina?! You were there through our wedding, our fertility problems, each and every miscarriage, the kids- all while David was alive and- You may have moved on but you didn't even give me the choice!"
Mallory didn't say anything, instead she rooted in her purse which was on the counter, ignoring the glare Robin was sending her, there wasn't a thing she could do or say to make any of it better.
Robin was now holding onto the counter as though it was the only thing keeping him upright. He could imagine having David there with him through all of that, actually being his father like he was to Henry, Roland, and Margot. He bit the inside of his cheek. He could have had a relationship with his son, instead of David who had barely spoken since that first night. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. Only opening them when Mal began to talk, he kind of wished she had just left instead.
"Ruth sent me these, when he was little. Some photographs, papers, documents; I never really opened it, I was going to give it back to her one day." She held out a brown envelope which Robin took from her without opening it.
"Did you," he sucked in a breath, the first sign of the toll the conversation was having on him, "did you ever meet him? When he was younger I mean."
"Maybe once or twice when he was a toddler or a young child, Robert and I didn't get along so I couldn't be there when he was there. He looked just like James, and the two of them were like twins, there was about a years age difference, David was shyer, Ruth said the two of them were wild, in a good way. I didn't really ask anything, I needed a clean break, I knew he was happy and it would be pointless to live with regret. I moved to the coast, I saw you guys more than I saw or spoke to Ruthie. The night that she ran away I met her at a gas station, she had the boys asleep in the car, I spoke to her a little, gave her some money- she had taken a little from Robert but not enough. Every so often I'd receive a postcard? But only when she was leaving whatever town she was in. She always thought Robert might track her down, she had to stay safe."
Robin scrubbed his face with his hand. Questions flooding through his head but none legible, mostly just ones asking 'why?' why hadn't she offered to take the boys to keep them safe? Why hadn't she told him? Why hadn't she just got Robert arrested? Why had no one ever told David the truth? Why hadn't she told him? Why hadn't she given him the option to keep David himself?
"You never thought about, I don't know, keeping him? Offering to take him and his brother and Ruth in to keep them safe, he didn't have to know the truth right away but…. Mal, he was a kid who was forced to grow up in and out of motels around god knows what, you never just thought about….?" He trailed off shaking his head.
"Robin, you've known me for years, you know I'm not sentimental. I made my choice, and it was the right one, I don't regret my decision."
"So, you didn't want me at all?"
Robin turned when he heard the cracking voice from the kitchen doorway. David looked rumpled and small in Robin's clothes, he was leaning against the wall but it was clear it wasn't a casual lean but because it was the only thing holding him upright.
"Davey." Robin's voice was low and full of concern. It had been hard enough to hear it himself but David was a kid who had lost everything. Robin walked slowly over to him like he was an injured animal, any wrong move could be disastrous.
But David's eyes stayed on Mal.
David had made it down the hallway to the kitchen by the time he realised people were in there, he thought it was Regina and Robin at first but he heard Robin's shouts which he hadn't expected, Robin had never given him the impression that he would shout, but he had trusted others he shouldn't have.
"I would have changed, I would have changed my specialisation, or I could have gotten into teaching sooner; I could have taken some time off or-"
David frowned hearing Robin's tone even before he took in his words, he sounded so desperate, David hadn't heard him sound like that before. He meant against the wall staring into the kitchen at the tall blonde woman, she looked familiar, he thought he might have seen her when he was younger, in a gas station- sticking out due to her fancy clothes, which she still wore today, this time an expensive pantsuit. When she turned to the side he could pick out some of his mother's features on her face. Some of his own. He had heard about Mallory De Vane just enough times to know that this was her.
He stayed perfectly still, listening to the two of them, his parents. He couldn't take his eyes off of either of them, even when it made him feel dizzy. Robin was so angry, his words hurt David's heart, it was impossible to dispute the fact that if Robin had known him he would have taken him, or at least been there most of the time. Mallory was unmoved by his anger, she seemed so sure of herself in a way he was certain he had never been, James had, maybe James had inherited more of David's birth mother's traits than David had.
When Mal spoke about the gas station the memory played in David's head.
He had been nine (nearly ten as he repeatedly told people) and pretending to sleep, unlike eleven year old James who could sleep anywhere.
That night the three of them had borne the brunt of Robert's anger, not for the first time, but for the last time, perhaps because the boys seemed to finally be big enough for Robert to properly hurt.
They had parked in a gas station and David had pretended to be asleep because it was usually safer that way. He stared out of slitted eyes as he watched his mother move around the car, the sounds of her filling up the old banger, watching her head inside to pay the money for it, coming out with snacks which looked so good that David had opened his eyes ready to pretend to have just woken up, but Ruth dumped them on the passenger seat and grabbed an envelope, shut the door deliberately quietly, then walked over to the next car. It was shiny and looked like one of the toy ones James owned.
The windows of their own car had fogged up a little, David wiped it with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. A tall blonde lady, hugging his mom, his mom passing her something, she didn't want to take it, until Ruth began to cry. They hugged again, this time longer. The lady passed Ruth something and this time it was Ruth's turn to try and turn it down before eventually taking it.
The lady walked them back to the car and David squeezed his eyes shut, he could barely see his mom and the lady through the lashes but a month or two later when his mom showed him the rare old photograph that he could place her as his Aunt Mallory, the one his mom talked about to the boys but told them to never mention around Robert.
She had been there. She had been so close to him. She had barely glanced inside the car. But she must have known it was him, she must have seen him sleeping, why hadn't she looked, why hadn't she woken him up and told him the truth?
'Why' seemed to be the center of all of Robin's questions too, he seemed so angry David didn't blame him, Mal just didn't care. Maybe she had never cared, not about him anyway.
His words were out before he even realised it, his voice cracking and meek as it left his body despite all of the anger and the pain building up, filling his veins with white hot fire.
"So, you didn't want me at all?"
He could hear Robin calling him Davey again, this time it didn't annoy him, instead it added to the tears which were forming in his eyes as he stared at an increasingly blurry Mal.
"I spent the first ten years of my life watching Roberty beat up my mom, Ruth, or being beat by him instead. In a double wide with people who would wave guns around and scare us. Where I was barely allowed food if Robert was around. And then when we ran away?! You think that was any better, we could barely afford food, we could barely afford motels, most of the time we slept in the car for the first three years. We missed school because my mom was scared they'd see how dirty we were. Even when we could stay in motels we moved constantly because she was paranoid, I've never had any friends because I would go out of school and she'd be there in the car waiting to move again. She tried her best but…"
His words were coming out in sobs now, he couldn't voice the worst bits, the bumps of coke his mom would take every so often, the bottles of the cheapest spirits she could find, desperate to forget Robert, or to stay awake. The times they were completely broke and his mom would disappear from the car late at night, returning hours later, with money but a little less than she had been. James had been the one who had explained exactly what was happening when they were both too young to know. David had tried to sell his favourite toy car to the motel owner in some small town in Connecticut or Seattle in exchange for their payment, the elderly man had taken it and had given them two extra nights, telling Ruth it was on the house, but Ruth had been sure Robert had arranged it and was coming, they left thirty three minutes later, a new record.
He felt a hand on his shoulder as he tried to gasp for air, it was steady, rope when he felt like he was falling, without thinking he turned towards the hand and clung onto Robin for dear life. Crying tears he hadn't allowed to fall since he first woke up after surgery and told he was alone in this world.
Robin was completely holding David up now, lighter than a kid his age should be, Robin held tight to him. David's hands were clutching onto the back of Robin's t-shirt, Robin carefully helped him move from the hallway to the living room, so they were down on the couch, scared David would tear open some stitches or something if they fell. But David didn't move his hands where they were holding onto him, Robin kept one arm wrapped around him, holding him tight, the other was cradling the back of his head which was pressed against the top of Robin's shoulder. He found himself rocking slightly, parental instinct from comforting his other three kids, he murmured words to David telling him it was okay, even though they both knew it wasn't.
He finally looked up, past David as he saw Mal in the doorway, she now had her coat on, typical, she had made the mess and wasn't going to even pretend to tidy it up. He watched her suck in a breath, he didn't know whether it was because of seeing the father and son together or because of the glare Robin was sending, he hoped it was the former and that it would haunt her dreams.
"I'm putting together the funeral, for Ruth and James, I'll text Gina the details." She stayed in the doorway awkwardly.
"Fine." Robin said shortly, trying not to upset David even more by fighting, "Just piss off Mal. You've done enough."
He felt David hold tighter to him which he didn't think was possible, David was clearly making sure that Robin wasn't about to leave him, he hugged his son closer, rubbing circles onto his back as he heard the front door open, then close with a slam.
"It's okay, sunshine, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. It'll all be okay." He did not believe his own words.
Also no Ruth or Mal bashing both were just doing what they thought was right, Mal was clearly in the wrong for not telling Robin, and Ruth was struggling and had signs of mental illness which made it harder - i swear I love all these characters but I always seem to hurt them in fics... whoops